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VBiGHbPfEuLrZDqrX0rRLPhBqXTjb8up
|
a2polk
|
{
"description": "leaving the door open",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
Aita for leaving the door open?
|
I’ve never left the door open before. Today I was taking out the trash and I must have closed it improperly because it was wide open a few minutes later. I didn’t know this because I was upstairs. I heard my mom calling out, then she said I left the door open. I started to apologize and go downstairs to shut the door, but then she started yelling at me angrily for leaving the door open, and that I’m heating the whole neighbourhood. I backed off and went into my room.
I’ve never left the door open before, I feel horrible about it but also that she’s completely overreacting. She’s acting so aggressive about it and it’s making me anxious.
I know it was my mistake, but she blows up about everything and it’s exhausting walking on eggshells. I know I’m not perfect, i try.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
PJeLlNiaWvueKVazQRBufhap06KNhtLt
|
as980l
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend because she's not intimate",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I broke up with my (M29) girlfriend (F29) because she's not intimate?
|
Throwaway because she uses my Reddit account
I understand that, for a lot of people, lack of sex and intimacy can be a deal-breaker.
My SO and I have been dating for about 4 1/2 years now yet we barely have any physical intimacy. She doesn't like to be held for too long, maybe 30 seconds at best, and we haven't had sex in two years. Every time I try and initiate she tells me she just doesn't want to.
Most of the time I figured I'd get an excuse out of it, but it's always just flat out "No." Oddly enough, my ego doesn't feel bruised since she does so much for me. I don't feel a painful rejection. I've considered that maybe I'm bottling it up. I've sat down and had some serious discussions with her about it. We get a lot out of those conversations but I still feel like we haven't made any real progress.
Aside from that detail she's quite possibly the closest thing to a superhuman I've ever seen. She runs her own business, helps me maintain the home, destroys me in smash, makes me laugh until my sides hurt, frequently buys me gifts and listens to me vent about work. At the end of a hard day she still has enough energy to go to the gym with me. I reciprocate this as much as possible that it sometimes it feels like a competition and she does it all with a smile.
She's incredible, but I do feel the lack of intimacy is eating at me slowly
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
MvAXnjflvk4wb8bMSSRvUyDUu5DuFrm3
|
aw03nu
|
{
"description": "not letting a person with a service dog have my seat in an auditorium",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't let a person with a service dog have my seat in an auditorium?
|
Today in one of my lectures (I'm a student), a person with a support/service dog walks in about 15 minutes late to class. The dog isn't small, so it needs an aisle or something for it to be, which is fair, I get it. What really bugged me was that she asked someone sitting in the very front row in the middle section if they would let her have their seat, and they let her have it. Now the auditorium was fairly packed, and their weren't any empty seats around where this was happening. The person who gave up their seat ended up having to go sit somewhere several rows back. Despite the fact that there were aisle seats available further back in the auditorium, this girl with the service dog felt the need to make someone sitting in a prime seat move in the middle of the lecture. The sheer sense of this person's entitlement shocked me.
​
I am someone who likes to sit as close to the front of the auditorium as possible (I can't stand the distraction of people in the rows in front of me scrolling through Facebook on their computers, nor the incessant sound of 400 ish people typing). I feel that this is a situation that I could potentially find myself in. I personally would tell this person to find another aisle seat, and that I have a good seat because I showed up on time. WIBTA?
​
Some additional details:
\- I would consider this dog to be ill-behaved. It rarely sits still, often partially jumping up on the owner's lap.
\- I was sitting on the left side of the auditorium, so all this movement in my peripheral was very distracting
​
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
dskncb4I4NpbnxSnTAh4J6qJs8G2yxxe
|
aq3cc2
|
{
"description": "telling my brother to stop bringing so many people over for family dinner",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I tell my brother to stop bringing so many people over for family dinner?
|
I have 3 brothers and my family are really close we eat dinner every sunday together, it's a tradition that we all just take part in even though we all moved out. My brother travels with a literal entourage like something out of a show and for the past 6 months or so he's brought about 4 or 5 girls and sometimes a couple guys but mostly all girls to these family dinners. My other brother brings his 1 girlfriend, I bring my 1 girlfriend I don't see why my other brother needs to bring so many people with him everywhere. I feel like saying something but idk
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vanRElkWqxw4OeyKiq119K6AGcfnAoU4
|
azcaj0
|
{
"description": "using my phone at a petrol/gas station",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for using my phone at a petrol/gas station?
|
Okay so this just happened, I received a call at the petrol bowser & was speaking to my father.
I started filling up my car at the same time.
There are always signs at petrol stations saying 'please turn off mobile phones' but I always regarded phone signals causing fires a myth (based on a Mythbusters episode & various readings stating the same).
As I was talking an older man beside me very angrily told me to get off my phone because of the 'fire hazard risk'.
I got off my phone immediately & told him that said risk is a myth, he replied 'in my field of work it isn't'. The conversation stopped there.
This was the first time I had ever had a phone call when at the actual bowser, but I have certainly been a passenger in a car & have taken phone calls at petrol stations in the past.
So AITA for using my phone at a petrol station?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
UbwwFgcm6hVTWZHCeLiY3XwNwXFXnqnI
|
amqyhl
|
{
"description": "thinking this is unfair? relationship shit",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for thinking this is unfair? Relationship shit.
|
So, a little background - I'm away at college (2.5-3 hours away), shit hasn't been easy these last few weeks. I come home on the weekends, but my housing situation is getting progressively fucked and this is likely one of the last weekends I'll have a place to stay at home (power, water, gas, etc. getting shut off in a matter of days).
I've introduced my boyfriend to a lot of my friends and he's getting closer to some of them, and I think it's great.
Earlier this week we're on the phone, he tells me he's having a "boy's night" (not his idea) with 2 childhood friends of mine. I'll admit I'm not a fan of the idea of a "boy's night", mostly because I've been friends with these guys for years, sort of the "one of the guys" friend anyway in every other circumstance and I don't understand my exclusion solely based on my gender, but I digress. Wasn't a fan but ultimately conceded, despite the fact that that was last night (Saturday), and I'm only here for the weekends. I drive the 3 hours Friday night after classes and leave late Sunday night (and I kind of only make the drive to hang out with my boyfriend in the first place).
So ultimately they had their night, I was fine, tried to make other plans to distract myself but they fell through.
Around 9:30pm I get a text: "so at some point I need you to pick me up".
Boyfriend got too drunk to drive himself home. I text back, "when?", ready and willing to pick him up, and I go unanswered for 40 mins.
It's at that point text bickering begins, I reel back, had you brought me I would have dd'd, why am I allowed to pick you up but not hang with my own friends, etc., tell him he should just sleep there (which he was definitely allowed and able to do), get a ride, go home to his place instead of mine (he normally sleeps at my house for the weekends I'm here).
We fast forward to 3am when he gets dropped off at my house. No real reconciliation since.
His argument being that I should be happy he's making friends with my friends, he needs to know them as an individual, they want him to feel included, etc.
I am happy that he's friends with them. I do have severe fear of missing out and it sucks to know your friends and boyfriend are having a good time and you're being decidedly excluded, I didn't drive home to spend a Saturday night on my own. And I just don't understand why my being present is such an inhibitor on him having healthy relationships with my (our) friends, I make it a point to give him space and autonomy in situations where we're all hanging out.
Spat still carrying on into this morning. Now I'm supposed to drive him to get his car (which, of course, I will do).
So, am I the asshole?
(Kudos for reading any & all of this.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
GyNr239RwdDF99FNy1oXGUst7saBePIm
|
a9wt23
|
{
"description": "cutting off a former roommate",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cutting off a former roommate?
|
In my freshman year of college I met this guy, let’s say N, and he ended up moving into my dorm. We’re both part of the same circle of friends, and I live with three other girls now.
We all stuck with him through a diagnosis of type 1 diabetes, and I helped him pay for his medicine and other needs.
My family has a bit of money, and I was born into it, so I didn’t think of it as bad. But after that, he started spending my money on ridiculous and unnecessary things. This money he was spending wasn’t my parents, it was my own. I worked two jobs over the summer so I could have some saved away. He spent all of it.
Meanwhile, another friend, J, started dating N’s best friend, K. We called N out for some behaviors like sitting up front in J’s car while K was driving. J was in the backseat. He also openly flirted with K at our Halloween party, and has subsequently moved in with K. While K was dating J, she confessed feelings for N. He turned her down and stated he saw her as only a friend. Overall confusing.
He ignored me and my roommates after we called him out, and now, almost 2 months later, wants to talk. Am I the asshole if I don’t want to talk to him, and keep being his friend?
We did come after him for what he did, which he explained were solely platonic gestures. And I’ll be fair, I’ve done the same with a few friends. But his felt more real. I just want opinions.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
U4LFCGURhWcBZRjgq9Q1lQzUB8Vmc3tr
|
9yrkht
|
{
"description": "being rude to a friend who blew me off",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being rude to a friend who blew me off?
|
Ok so one of my friends asked me to help her prepare for a test, I said ok because I was going to study that subject anyway, we planned for Saturday. She spent the whole week telling me everyday to not forget, to the point of exhaustion.
Saturday morning she sends me a message telling me she cant come, I said fine no problem. I went to take a shower and she called me, asking where I was, I told her I was showering, she told me that she was waiting for me at the coffee shop where we were supposed to study because she wanted to give me something, I said ok and I'll be there.
Like 5 mins pass and she calls me again asking where I was, told her I was putting on clothes. I'm leaving the house and she calls me again asking where I was, 5 mins later she calls me again, and after that she calls me AGAIN. I'm really annoyed at this point and when I meet her, she comes all happy, I asked her if she was with her boyfriend, she said yes and was going to spend the day with him. I asked why did she lie about not being able to come when in fact she just didn't want to, she tells me I'm acting like a child, I tell her that it's not my fault that she is horny and I got stuff to do, so now she is mad at me and won't even talk to me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
b4pv3CwHVMC1r2TKvX3wA0AEoE91e9Vh
|
acvp6h
|
{
"description": "getting upset with my boyfriend for insinuating that I'm being disloyal",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for getting upset with my boyfriend for insinuating that I'm being disloyal?
|
TL;DR at the bottom. Throwaway.
Background: He (25) and I (26f) have been together in a monogamous relationship for almost three years and lived together for a large part of that. I recently moved into my own apartment because of his anger/control issues, but agreed to try to work through this with him while he works on his mental health. He is an awkward nerd, while I am much more social. I have an art degree, and he is working towards a neuroscience degree if that gives any insight into our personalities.
Last night, I went over to his place to hang out for a bit and started showing him some things on here that I had saved to show him. A text notification popped up from a male friend I met on r/r4r. My boyfriend immediately goes into this rapid fire interrogation and my jaw just dropped. I have not once given this man any reason to distrust me. I have never been anything but transparent. I have never cheated on anyone and I have no intention of starting with him. He kept saying the typical "I just think it's weird that..." and when I responded by saying that it was unfair of him to accuse me of being disloyal, he would say, "I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm just asking questions." Questions like, "Who messaged who first, and how did you exchange numbers?" "What do you talk about?" "What do you talk about? (again)" "Have you sent him any pictures of yourself?"
I just left. It hurt my feelings to know that three years in I am still having to defend my character to him. I will always be a social person, and I will never be dishonest or disloyal. This is just who I am and how I chose to live. It's unreal to me that he can claim love for me but get so bitter about these parts of my personality.
1) I messaged my friend first because I was bored, and we hit it off. We were both slow to respond on reddit, so we exchanged numbers. I don't even know his last name, and he's never been anything but respectful. I talk to him about my boyfriend all the time. We also talk about our day, food, dogs, and life.
2) I never told my boyfriend because it did not occur to me that I was obligated to update him every time I made a new friend.
3) Yes, I sent pictures of myself. Nothing cute, nothing "sexy." Pictures with my dog mostly, pictures from hiking, and some pictures from 10+ years ago during a conversation about changing looks/hair.
4) It just seems like every time I do something that brings me joy, it infuriates my boyfriend. I never felt comfortable making art at his house because he would act like I was laying around and doing nothing but making a mess all day. If I go out with my friends, he will text me the entire time. If I bring him out with my friends, it ends in an argument over absolutely nothing. (Example: Went to a craft beer place, left and agreed to meet our friends at a second place. He wanted food, and then got upset with me because he thought I didn't want him to get food when I mentioned that there was food at the second place where our friends were waiting. He didn't talk to me or anyone the entire time at the second location. They kept asking me what was wrong with him. He drove like a psycho on the way to drop me off so I jumped out of the car at a stop sign and had to walk home a mile and a half in the freezing rain in heels. It snowed like 5 hours later. He popped a tire because of the way he was driving. We fought for a week.)
I always want to think he isn't the jealous type, but I am realizing that I have mostly stopped attempting to have friendships with men unless they are someone he hits it off with, which is almost no one. He does not like most people. I have two brothers, and I have always had platonic male friends.
I love my boyfriend. He loves animals like I do, and we have had so much fun together. He is so smart and absolutely hilarious. He can be the kindest man in the world, but his anger/control issues and insecurities are getting in our way. I'm not patient enough to cater to him, and I am tired of having to defend myself to someone that says he loves me. I told him I would stay to help him sort out his medications and work through therapy, but at what point does his mental illness justify the emotional abuse?
TL;DR: My boyfriend saw a notification for a text from a (platonic) man friend I met on reddit and started a rapid fire interrogation about the extent of our relationship.
AITA for getting mad at him for being jealous/insecure?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
AiYMiLrxoqamB5RTLeFTBPFncgUkFkpO
|
aq6do3
|
{
"description": "not believing someone is transgender",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not believing someone is transgender?
|
Okay, please let me explain and don’t immediately call me an ass just for the title alone.
I’m transgender. Ftm, pre-op. Operation due in 21. Let me explain this situation.
I own a discord server with just under a 100 members. It’s nice, we have a lot of actives and we’re quite chummy with each other. I host a lot of games/play sessions on there, and we get a lot of positive clout for it. This happened a few months ago, someone new joined through one of my other friends. Sure, nothing wrong with it. I welcome them and they introduce themselves. Nothing goes wrong. About an hour in I made a joke about how the other people left alive in the match were all boys. The new person (who was still alive ingame) outright calls me and says “no, I’m a girl!” I felt a little embarrassed and apologised with a nervous laugh. One of my other friends (now boyfriend woo!) thought this would be a good opportunity to announce that I had came out as transgender, and I got a lot of support and even a few lighthearted jokes about. The new person, who I’ll call PF, (possibly fake) didn’t say anything. Completely quiet. I just thought they were concentrating and thought nothing of it at the time. The next time they spoke they were totally in some sort of mood. While I think this is related to the situation, it might not be.
The very next day, not even 24 hours later, PF announces that they’ve come out as transgender. I thought this a little weird at the time but still congratulated them, as well as some other people on the server. It took me over 3 months to finally come to terms with my gender, and through self deprecating thoughts and support from both friends and family was when I was comfortable with coming out. It took PF less than 24 hours, which I didn’t get it. I later approached them about this as someone who had also recently come out, and asked what made them realise it. No joke, they literally responded with “oh, it just feels good to finally be comfortable in my own skin” I’m awkward and british, so I didn’t pry them about it.
A few weeks in, and PF is becoming.. kind of annoying. The ONLY thing they talk about is being transgender. And, this is the part which really makes my blood boil. They complain a lot about being transgender. Things like; “oh, I HATE wearing girls clothes but I have to because my family doesn’t know” “can you NOT call me that? my preferred name is ‘this’ and i’d really appreciate it if you didn’t refer to me as my born name” “it’s so hard being transgender and closeted, my family wouldn’t ever understand my struggles” “everyone at school bullies me for my gender, I just can’t take it anymore”
As someone who is closeted (though I look pretty androgynous), has and DOES get harassed and bullied to the point of some mental illnesses I won’t disclose on reddit, I really really really don’t believe any of what they say. The worst thing is that they always make the situation about them. Nobody in my server can talk about their own issues without PF coming up with Today’s Daily Struggle™️, which is always over exaggerated. But my server is way too polite to actually do anything about it, I don’t want to interact with them about this in case they accuse me of being something I’m not. I get that everyone has different experiences with their sexuality and gender, even straight and cis people, but this just seems like something out of r/quityourbullshit. All of their problems are over exaggerated and I’m fairly certain about 90% fake. What do I do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
Pc8S3efwxiFFmrdFrFIXgPGoZ3wOvqKQ
|
auepiy
|
{
"description": "bringing up an 3 month old incident back up to my dad about my car",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for bringing up an 3 month old incident back up to my dad about my car?
|
I had bought my very first car with money I saved up for about $950. It's decent car for a 1993 Ford Explorer XLT.
3 months ago, we had about 10 inches of snow that note very common in my part of Texas. In the morning I had to go to work and my dad wanted to take me there since my car had the only option with 4x4. Their others cars are a Mustang and a Kia that has front wheel drive. My dad takes me and picks up my mom to go grocery shopping.
I'm off work early since the city advised everyone to be off the roads around 8. I call my dad and he tells me that he crashed my car. I'm pissed and ask for pictures of the damage. He says that I can see when he comes to pick me up.
He arrives and I look at the car. A Side piece is missing, the taillight is flapping in the wind and the front bumper is curved in. My dad tells me that a car was an idiot and had blended in because most of the snow was still on it. He tells me that the brakes had failed. I except that so he buys me new brakes, and offers to double the offer of the car for how much it sells.
Recently my parents had gotten out of debt and have been eyeing a brand new TV to purchase. My dad told me that he would be using my car to get the TV. I tell him that's fine as long as I'm in the car. He says that fine. However he states that he will be picking it up on Tuesday. I tell him it will have to wait till Friday because that's when I have work off.
He suddenly gets mad at me and says that he will be getting the TV on Tuesday whether or not I'm in the car. I tell him in a very firm voice that he won't be going anywhere with my car unless I'm in it. He gets mad at me and tells me that I don't get to tell him what to do. I start to question him on why the hell he even took my car in the first place when I told him that the Kia could of easily braked and avoided all of this. He suddenly tells me to drop it and that the talk is over.
I storm off and state one last time that the TV is coming on Friday.
So, reddit, Am I the Asshole for bringing up a old incident whenever he wants to use it again? BTW I'm 16.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
61jZSbofP8IBgCMDOEnCvjE37bTVAH79
|
ahz1kn
|
{
"description": "texting my former roommates fiance about the roommate owing me money",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA For texting my former roommates fiance about the roommate owing me money.
|
So pretty much about over a year and a half ago my now former roommate came into my room and told me that his bank account had been hacked and he didn't have any money to pay rent. As I had already sent my half to him I was forced to pay the entire rent plus my half a second time. He promised me he'd pay me back and as we be friends for 5 years I had no issues with it.
He started okay paying back a few hundred of what he owed before just stopping altogether. We got into a little argument about it as he tried to scam his way out of over half of it, so we came to the agreement I'd move out if he would pay me. I never forced him to pay me all at once or anything, I don't care if he gives me $20 a month I'd just like my money.
Now that I'm moved out I saw that he'd gotten engaged to his long time gf that I'd known for a few years as well. When I sent him a text asking him if he'd forgotten about the money, it had been just about a year since I received anything, I got no response. I know his gf is a nice and reasonable woman. Is it okay to text her because I know she'll do somethinf?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
g6k8HKf1RLPP2jMKrethnheE3IpCNYZM
|
al4ty4
|
{
"description": "getting this girl fired",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
aita for getting this girl fired
|
I work at a large warehouse with several companies inside that are contracted by the company i work for. My job is safety related (just recently moved to safety) for my department. 5 months ago this girl (lets call her Denise) started working for a contractor and she did great for the first 2 or 3 months she did great. she did her job showed up on time and had a good attitude. 2 months ago something changed, i dont know if she just got comfortable or stopped caring but she would no longer do her job correctly and developed a aggressive attitude towards several people. a month ago she started a argument with a friend of mine and i had to issue a statement saying that my friend was innocent and walked away to avoid the fight. This made me focus my full attention on her and write her up for anything wrong. last week she had a crash and i made sure she was drug tested. today she was fired for failing the test (test showed drugs 7 months ago). now i found out that she had a 1 year old daughter and was 5 months pregnant both from a guy who wont help her with child support. i dont know why but i feel so guilty like i caused her to not be able to support her child. in all honesty if the girl she started a argument with wasnt a friend i probably would not have focused on her as much. everyone says i was just doing my job but i could have handled it a different way and she would most likely still be employed with a decent paying job.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
Ievv84PbZqGPEUTyAsa0d3BN1xXEraD2
|
b0rjue
|
{
"description": "being too worried about my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being too worried about my girlfriend?
|
Last week I (33M) was hanging out with my girlfriend (32F) as I normally do. She left to go workout and then go home for the evening. Everything was fine but it was getting late. She always sends me a message before she goes to bed just as we say goodnight. This night she didn't. It was the first time she she hadn't. It worried me.
I sent her some texts asking if she was okay. I called her. No answer, no replies. It was the first time she hadn't sent me a message before bed. I wondered what I'd do if something were to happen. I'd be the first to know something was wrong. I was the last to see her. I felt like the burden of responsibility would fall to me to blow the whistle if there were red flags.
In the last message I sent to her, I told her I felt like dropping by her place just to make sure she was there. After a bit, I decided to chill and just go to bed. I figured everything was fine and she must have just fallen asleep, but it bothered me. But I let it go.
In the morning she text me saying she was sorry. She did, indeed, just fall asleep. But she said that me worrying so much wasn't normal. That me being willing to get up and check on her in the middle of the night wasn't normal. She got upset. Saying that she feels like she can't feel like she's her own person. That she has to make sure to check in each and every night. And perhaps I let my worries get the better of me, but it was really just a few messages. I just told her that I was worried and she scared me. That it was the first time had happened and it was odd.
We got over it, we talked through it and I learned to not take such a personal stake in her safety. But I've been thinking about it a lot. Am I the asshole here? I was just worried, but the extend of my worry seems to be the problem.
I'd love thoughts from others. Thanks for reading.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
8rAPzpPIvzCbjxAubFWUf4acWC4c8krj
|
auxpqv
|
{
"description": "asking GF for a break in our relationship due to lack of sex",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for asking GF for a break in our relationship due to lack of sex?
|
Throwaway account for obvious reasons.. IDK if this should be at r/relationshipadvice but anyway.. And apologize me for bad English.
So me 21 and my girlfriend 20 have been in a relationship for over three years now. She is my second GF and I am her first boyfriend.
At first our relationship rotated around meeting at our parent's places, watching some series and making out, you know the usual teeny stuff. Now we both live on our own in separate apartments. (We're still not sure when to move in together).
Our sex life used to be very good. I had to "teach" her how to do stuff since I am her first and only sexual partner (I myself am not that experienced), but I didn't mind and we both were happy. So the trouble began around a year ago. She turned 20 and had to change her pill to a cheaper one (we think that was the trigger) because her health insurance only covered it untill that age.
Anyway, since then she wasn't in the mood very often and she refused to talk to me about that. I tried to be patient about it. She started a very stressful college and apprenticeship mix and I thought maybe it's the reason.
We still enjoying watching shows, going to the park and the usual stuff together. She is a great woman and I enjoy her company and would love to spend my life with her.
In the last couple of months we had sex only several times and most of the time she wasn't even there mentally. She just let me do 'my thing'. It got me really mad. I almost felt cheated on.
So that's when I tried to talk to her regarding this issue a bunch of times. She told me that she didn't feel the desire to have sex anymore and that she felt bad about it but was too afraid to tell me. We agreed that she should stop taking the pill and we should wait some time.
Things didn't change much since then and in a discussion she asked me if I still wanted to be with her. After long thinking about what I should and shouldn't say I told her that I love her company, enjoy meeting with her family more than my own. But it's true that sleeping at her side and knowing the person you love doesn't think of you in a sexual way is simply depressing.
I thought it was easy. Just wait some time, talk to her about it and we would turn a happy couple again in no time. But it isn't easy for me at all. Recently I even started to think about how easy it would be to get into an affair with someone else and afterwards return to my GF like nothing happened. I don't want this, but the temptation started to be huge. I mean we could just be best friend at this time and it wouldn't change a thing..
All of this led me to asking for a break from the relationship for some time untill we figure out what's best for us. I still love her and I believe she loves me too, but it has become too much.
I still don't know the "terms" of the break. If it shall lead to a full break up or if we should try our best to stay together.
:(
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
CvwbhwTUgaZ1DDf0JtsVsmWdJRvvgbDd
|
anzc9p
|
{
"description": "yelling at my brothers for not doing their chores",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Yelling at my Brothers for not Doing their chores?
|
So after dinner my brothers and I have to do our chores before going back onto games and TV etc. So usually after dinner they just go back to their games/shows so I have to politely ask them to do them and they don't so I start to get annoyed because I can't do mine until they do theirs.
Fast Forward 15 minutes (their chores take like 5 to 10 minutes) and I start yelling at them to do their chores so I can do mine.
AITA for yelling at them?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
9VHfrwI469U49wBEECizgNzju8I5Zqit
|
akrq1i
|
{
"description": "telling my GF I didn't like her tattoo idea",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling my GF I didn’t like her tattoo idea.
|
I know this sounds stupid, but it’s genuinely bothering me. My girlfriend of about 2 years now wants to get a tattoo of a band members autograph with a little quote by him. We both grew up very differently so in my family that would be seen as a bit trashy, and in her family that’s completely normal. Now just to make things clear, I DID NOT say she couldn’t get it. I am completely fine with her getting the tattoo, but she’s making me out to be some asshole just because I said personally I wouldn’t want someone’s autograph tattooed on me. If I am not controlling whether she gets it or not, and simply sharing my opinion, does that make me an asshole? I feel like it’s unhealthy that I can’t express how I feel without her trying to understand my side if I am going to be respectful and understanding of her side.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
zBcaKNXW2DqTEr4NlNO5CRBXflP9RqKW
|
ac381o
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to the sex store with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to the sex store with my boyfriend.
|
I have a friend who has her very first art show at the local risque boutique. She's really excited but also pretty nervous and has never shown her work before. Ive recently started showing my own work and have a few shows of experience. So she invited me to help her hang and place her work and to be her date the night of her show.
A few nights ago I expressed how lonely and sad I've been since my best friend and I had a really bad falling out and how I felt I had no friends who enjoyed my company, so I was really excited at the prospect of female companionship and having an evening out with a friend. It didn't even occur to me to be concerned with the location of the show.
This evening I told my boyfriend I had plans tomorrow afternoon to help her hang her photos and teasingly asked if there was anything I could get for us. We've been having some issues in the bedroom lately and hes bought toys before on his own, so I didn't think it would be seen as a negative. Ive never really wanted to go with him but have bought toys online, I've expressed thou that I dont like the idea of going together.
He got really upset that I was willing to go with my girl friend and not him. I tried explaining that going with a female friend is less intimate than going with him. I brought up that I dont like the idea of strangers knowing the details of our sex life; that it makes me uncomfortable to think about going and discussing what anal beads would spice up our life best in front of a stranger. Now he is accusing me of feeling embarrassed of being with him and being seen with him and just being over all really accusatory.
Am I the asshole here for not wanting to go to the sex shop with him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
znH0HC3GOuofoVjsz3mwA0AmS051eXNT
|
a5p4un
| null |
AITA for feelings second place in my girlfriends life when she’s consumed by school?
|
I’ll make this short but I’m SUPER supportive of everything she does CANT WAIT to have a full marching band at her graduation and our wedding bc she will look stunning. But since we’ve met she’s been in school and it’s never an issue I support her always help her study so everything I can to make her life easier. I work a full time job Monday through Friday. Nothing super fancy but idk.. I work hard too I guess. I always feel like my life compared to
Her isn’t nearly as important just because I’m not in school. I feel the distance and feel things changing a little, because I feel this way. But I want her to understand that sometimes I’m tired asf too, sometimes I’m just not having a good day, weather I do shit at work or not that day. Sometimes I need that extra love and extra support like I give her always. I love her endlessly. What do I do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
EtvY0TyNcJLhmjhg0JJMOrq1xpHGSY2I
|
ary5p5
|
{
"description": "posting your picture on Instagram",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for posting your picture on Instagram?
|
So I am running a vape Instagram and I had pulled a picture off of a popular vape Snapchat story. There were no credits to the original photographer and I knew the Snapchat itself didn't take it. Fast forward a few days someone tagged the original photographer and then he got mad and said a few words in the comments. Of course I have no problem crediting the original photographer. I immediately put him in the post and tagged him on the picture. I also sent him a message apologizing and letting him know the situation and letting him know to tell me if he wants it taken off my Instagram. But he refuses to reply. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
K8VXx0Pa8kuX2z4pyAZ8cdTVk2V8LG7D
|
avm1jl
|
{
"description": "punching a hole in my buddy's tv",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for punching a hole in my buddy’s TV
|
I know it sounds bad based on the title, but hear me out.
So earlier today my buddy who I live with (1 of 23 other fraternity brothers) decided to talk smack about my ex girlfriend.
My ex and I are still seeing each other and hanging out every now and then, so it isn’t out of the ordinary for her to be at our house. She’s very sweet and keeps good company, but she can be slightly oblivious to things like entering the bathroom.
Since we’ve broken up, the boys have been mostly encouraging except for one, who I will call Chad. Chad and I normally get a long but he always has some nerve to say something nasty about my ex. Atleast 2/3 of our daily interactions are in some form a way of him mocking my ex.
Today when I opened a window while doing some homework, Chad shouted out, “keep that shut, your ex will get back in and we don’t need her cockroach infestation”
Lots of brothers laughed. I kept my cool and told him to chill out and reminded I never make fun of his girl.
Chad continued with, “sorry not all of us have a crackhead fetish”
After this I walked up into his room and punched a hole in the TV he had been bragging about all week for getting it for$40.
He had been pushing me for a long time and when confronted with the decision to stop, Chad kept going. I don’t feel bad because it was $40 either way. The way I see it, he’s had it coming and shouldn’t be allowed to talk about ANY woman like that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
d5WuZSNSpRasvCJGWCuUo3utP9A1xEqd
|
acgwik
|
{
"description": "ignoring the fact I have a kid",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For ignoring the fact I have a kid
|
AITA, Long story short, I slept with a girl maybe 6 times over a couple of months we weren't close just meet up now and then. Her friend told me she was pregnant and it was mine. I was semi friends with her mate so we talked. I soon put a end to our fling mainly because I was scared I was young 21. The friend later told me she quickly got back with her ex and said the baby was his which she all ready had kids to and had not long stopped seeing before we had a bit of fun. Now several years later I bump into baby mummas sister who I did not recognise and brought her up ( I know I'm a asshole for this but had forgot baby mamma's name to be fair she has a real weird name and still don't know what it is reading it) but now I have baby mama's name I can face book stalk her and sure enough that kid is most definetly mine. I'm still going to ignore the fact I have boy the kid has a dad and a mum and I think it's for the best, although I feel really funny inside seeing pictures and thinking about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
T1iONd4jkzIiPpLH8AxWnqVUzx771Ho9
|
b1yhxl
|
{
"description": "wanting more from my partner",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting more from my partner
|
Obligatory apology for any mistakes since I'm on mobile + this is a throwaway.
Tl;dr: my dad has died less than two weeks ago. I'm (diagnosed) depressed and cannot easily deal with sudden changes in scheduling and long nights alone. Boyfriend suddenly decides to go out because he feels bad from me feeling bad.
So, my dad has unfortunately passed away less than two weeks ago. It was all quite sudden and very stressful in regards of planning for everyone in my family. My partner has been trying his best to help me out as well as he can (just like with my diagnosed mental disorders), despite his lack of experience. I often acknowledge that I admire this and that I am very thankful.
After a few days, I already notice that I start to feel a shift in our functions in our relationship. Instead of him caring for me, I care for him. Whenever something annoys him, or he gets hungry-angry, I try to solve this. This makes me ignore all my negative feelings automatically. I don't underatand why. I have told him about this, but I can't remember the outcome of this.
This situation has carried on, but a lot less noticeable as he has gone back to work after our trip for the burial. However, for me it has reached a confusing breaking point today with him going out with his buds. I obviously do want him to have a life apart from our relationship. I find this very important and having noticed his struggles with my situation have encouraged this as well. However, I have made it clear in the past that I greatly appreciate him telling me in advance, e.g. not one day in advance, as I cannot easily plan something with my friends due to busy schedules; and that I appreciate him trying to not plan anything late into the night due to my difficulties with making it through the night, even more since my dad's passing. I do realise that this is not always possible, but asked to maybe not pile it on too much, which he then continued to do by saying this would be the case the next two saturday nights as well (which are also hard for me to plan around as my friends like to go out this night and I have a panicattack at the idea of going out but that's my problem). Also, would like to say that this would be a lot less difficult for me not so, for me, soon after my dad's passing.
I know that it is difficult for my boyfriend as well. And again, I really want him to have a social life as well, which is why I'm wondering whether I'm being a psychotic asshole of a girlfriend and demanding too much.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
C0Lr0zFPo4WPgaeMpPYG9z1vOvqMebbq
|
asqy4t
|
{
"description": "thinking my friends joking about hating me is not funny",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking my friends joking about hating me is not funny
|
For context: This friend, who I will refer to as Cal, is one of my good friends. We’ve been friends since sixth grade and we have a really good friendship.
However, sometimes I feel like he REALLY hates me. Every time I try to talk to him he “jokingly” tells me to fuck off and pushes me away. At first. I thought it was funny, but overtime it got really unfunny and it sorta started to hurt my feelings.
For example, I would want to talk to him about something and he’s all like “Fuck off! No one loves you” and I’m just there like “Geez dude chill” I think he overdoes it wayyy to much that I think he made me think he despises me.
I really want him to stop but I doubt he’ll actually stop.
Reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
G8JsB6ed34LDKehLcasxr9RCXecFe1yI
|
b7emuz
|
{
"description": "accidentally breaking a kid's hearing aid",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for accidentally breaking a kid's hearing aid?
|
This happened several years ago and I was just reminded of it today.
This was in summer camp daycare, and I was about 13 with the other kids being around the same age. I was kinda nerdy and unpopular, but I would sit next to the kids who had a DS to watch them play.
I sat down at the edge of a table and began watching silently. I should note that this was common and nobody really cared much. The person I was sitting next to didn't seem to have a problem with it.
About 10 minutes later, another kid (Nick) comes over and tells me I am sitting where he was. I give him the ol' "move your feet, lose your seat" spiel, and the fact I didn't even know he was sitting there. He was nowhere around.
At this point he begins to try and push me further into the already crowded bench and into the person to my right. I push back and he falls to the ground, which pops out his hearing aid (which I had no idea he even had). The staff come over and help him, while the kids at the table berate me.
AITA in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ZOFr2mBt5MJ02A7jn5jvABrW0qR6Kah0
|
a946s6
|
{
"description": "asking my mother if I could spend Christmas Eve with my fathers side of the family",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For asking my mother if I could spend Christmas Eve with my fathers side of the family
|
It all started on December 19th was my fathers 62nd birthday and he had a large party with his side of the family. My mother does not get along with them so she didn't go. When I was there my aunt was borderline begging me and my brother to come celebrate Christmas Eve because she was throwing a large dinner party and I said yes because in all honesty I felt pressured because my dad was right next to me and did not feel like causing a scene and in general they are nice people. So a few days later I ask my mother and this is a rough abstract of the conversation...
Me: Are we going to have a dinner on Christmas Eve and Christmas
Mom: We can if you want to (kind of excitingly)
Me: Well Auntie blank asked me and Bro to dinner on Christmas Eve and I already said yes..
Mom: What makes you think you can just go (or something along those lines) ( Then starts ranting about how I don't respect her)
Me: I respect you that's why I am telling you first of all and I am also 21 you can't stop me from going.
She goes silent and then starts throwing a bunch of stuff out from under the cub board against the floor, breaking two glass salad bowls. She actually throws a temper tantrum and starts throwing stuff into the hallway even destroys a rice cooker to the point it actually broke apart.
I try to be nice to my mother because she has a history of terrible shit happening to her and overall does not enjoy her life much so I try to be there for her. My sister has gone completely ghost (my mom basically pushed her away) and my brother is overall just a dick to her and she doesn't have any family in America. (She is from Japan) . She is single, doesn't have a boyfriend, was never married and all her friends have either moved back to Japan and is currently in a fight with one of her only friends. After she was done breaking stuff I said some really terrible stuff because I was just fed up with how she was acting and when I say terrible stuff, like stuff you would never want to hear from your son. I was just extremely fed up with her acting like a child. I am always the one comforting her. When she is crying I am the one that talks to her and stays by her side, not my brother and not my sister. I come home from school every weekend to see her and I even now have to do the yard work during the school year because even though my brother lives at home he doesn't ever do it when she asks. He just invites his friends over and smokes weed in the living room and trashes it. I am constantly trying to balance my love for my father and my mother. Because on one hand my father was a piece of shit to my mom and did not help raise me but, he he pays for my school, my living expenses and even my mothers living expenses. My mother doesn't work and makes no income but, she was the one who raised me and my siblings by herself.
Tldr: Mom got extremely mad when I said I was going to spend Christmas Eve with my father.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
UtS6Q0dEN1Rvdtx9aFMmOSWW56LqCy2C
|
b2c7xf
|
{
"description": "not going with my girlfriend to the rodeo",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not going with my girlfriend to the rodeo?
|
A few weeks ago she mentioned that her grandparents had bought her and her family ticket passes to go to the Houston Rodeo and asked if I would want to go. I said sure, but for whatever reason her family planned on going on a weekday while we were still away at college so it would just be the two of us. Fast forward to last Friday, I had forgotten I told her I would go and made plans with my brothers to try out this coffee/board game shop with them. Friday night she asked me if I still wanted to go and I said, “not really,”because I didn’t like the rodeo all that much and my brothers were expecting me. She said that it was ok and she would find someone else to go with her.
I should note that I apologized and honestly felt very bad for skipping on the rodeo with her. She seemed fine with it and we texted normally for the rest of the night.
The next day she didn’t respond to any of my texts. At first I just thought she was busy and wasn’t checking her phone, but she ended up ignoring me all day.
This morning I texted her another apology and said I wish she wouldn’t give me the silent treatment. She responded with “first of all you are not sorry so don’t apologize” and that she doesn’t want to talk to me.
We have been going back and forth arguing all day now. She feels like I’m never her top priority and that I only do things with her if I like them or find them important. Which is not true at all. We go to see the ballet and musicals very often even though I don’t like doing either of those things, but we go because she loves them.
I will admit I have been more distant this semester and we spend less time together, but I think for good reason. This semester I’ve changed majors (music education to finance), but I kept music as a minor so I’m doing significantly more School work than last semester. My dad got fired, my mom is finishing her education degree, and I have such a weird schedule that it’s hard to get a job so I don’t really have the income to do all of the things we used to. Also, my dad wants to start a real estate company since he is having trouble finding a new job, so I’ve been taking online training courses so when I come home for summer I can work for him. So, all in all I’ve been super busy and that has definitely gotten in the way of us spending the same amount of time together.
We’ve had a few arguments about this before. Once, when I was super stressed about a big project I had due the next day I told her I couldn’t go to lunch with her and her parents. The second time I told her I didn’t think I had the time to drive an hour to watch her performance in a small symphony since I was super busy that week (I ended up going to that one anyway).
So, AITA? Should I be putting more effort to spend time with her no matter how it effects me?
P.S. Sorry this was so long. Also I’m sure the formatting is horrendous but I don’t post to reddit very often.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
HuCdANKumZiH6v640kPhrILg1HGN8AvC
|
aq96ni
|
{
"description": "telling a roomate instead of asking them not to do something",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a roomate instead of asking them not to do something?
|
Ftp on mobil and all that jazz.
My bff lives with my husband, me, and my 2 kids. She has a baby that sleeps with her and and she stores all his stuff in my sons room. Last night my son stayed in my daughters room because they have been having "sleep overs" lately and we just let it, they are 2 and 4 so young enough they can share a room, theirroom also gets locked at night. We close our door at night because our cat will paw at our feet and wake us up early. We also threw the cat into the hall before going to bed so I know the cat was out before going to bed. I got up at 330 am to find the cat trapped in my sons room and had peed everywhere. Sometimes my roommate goes in there and gets pjs for her son before bed and she normally shuts doors behind her (nothing wrong with that) so rightfully, i assumed it was her who locked the cat in. I was also tired, annoyed, and bonus points, 8 months pregnant and cleaning up cat urine out of my sons stuff. I sent my friend a text stating "stop closing the boy's door. The cat got locked in and peed everywhere and it smells really bad" that was it. I knew if i typed more it wouldn't be nice so I stopped there. When I woke up I noticed it didnt send last nigh so I just hit send this morning since she was already at work. Big mistake apperently because she got all kinds of pissed. She started by sending me 3 texts explaining how it couldn't have been her and it was rude I accused her of it. When I tried defending myself and how that text wasnt that big of a deal she said it was bad because I didn't say please so now I'm ordering her around and treating her like a child and just assuming it was her. I told her I'm not fighting you over text (things always get misconstrued over text I think because of tone) and I'm not responding to her now and ignoring her. I was annoyed when I typed the text and did assume it was her since my kids are locked in at night and couldn't have and I threw the cat out before closing my own door so obviously shes the likely choice since why the hell would my husband go in there? She also goes in often to get stuff for her son so it made sense to me. I didn't say please, I was pissed when I found it this morning. I am kinda a bossy person but I still feel like she over reacted here. Even if she didn't do it I don't think its that big a deal but could be blind by to my own assholery.
AITA for assuming it was my roommate and then not saying please when accusing her of doing it/ ordering her to stop?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
YRRRkrNLJaiAWhZXPMBD0T6t12ii2zQQ
|
acywya
| null |
AITA when someone interrupts me when I am speaking, I continue to speak, over their words and louder
|
AITA When I am out to dinner at a restaurant with my wife, daughter and son in law, my wife and SIL will routinely interrupt me when I am speaking. When my SIL does this, I continue speaking and SIL and I both continue speaking at the same time, and I raise my voice louder than SIL. Everyone ignores what I am saying and focuses on the person who interrupted me and thinks I am rude for shutting my mouth anytime anyone interrupts me.
Am I the only person that thinks it's rude and disrespectful to interrupts someone who is speaking? Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
WRONG
|
AiIs8sRIsH5S413SFHrggssQL9FKN05Q
|
azl1iq
|
{
"description": "talking to my ex girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for talking to my ex girlfriend?
|
A while ago, I broke up with a girlfriend (I'll call her Sarah) on good terms, but she lived in the UK and I live in the US, so it was hard to keep in touch with her, so we stopped talking to each other for a while. A few months later, I contacted her again because I wanted to reconnect (we were still really good friends, and I missed that). My new girlfriend (we'll call her Melony), with whom I started a relationship after Sarah and I broke up, saw that I had been messaging Sarah on Facebook. She got really upset and thereafter did not allow me to contact Sarah at all. She considers it to have been cheating. She says that I hid it from her, and to be honest, I didn't outright tell her because I did know she is a jealous person, and I didn't want her to be upset with me just for talking to someone as a friend. I don't think I was hiding it from her, though. She had access to my phone, and so she could see my Facebook messages at any time. I also would have told her if it had come up in conversation. I simply didn't go out of my way to tell her. It's been about five or so years and I have had minimal contact with Sarah, only contacting her about once a year (in secret) to make sure she's been okay, so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
2nGf4ZCE9PEkiRoa4EncdM7IY3CI6wwO
|
am9y0d
|
{
"description": "skipping my grandmothers funeral",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I skip my grandmothers funeral
|
This is a throwaway and Im on mobile.
My grandmother has been battling cancer the last few years. About 6 months she let the family know she was stopping treatment and wanted to spend the time she had left with family at home. A month ago she contacted all of us grand children and paid for us all to go visit her for what she made very clear to us would be the last time. In her words she had seen how many get at the end and didnt want that to be our final memories of her. While we were there she sat us down and asked we (grandkids) not attend her funeral when she passes. I don't know why. This was the last thing she asked of me/us.
Well she passed yesterday morning and my father (her son) asked when I would be flying out. I said I wasn't and he blew up. I told him what she asked of us and he didn't want to hear it. I have never felt worse or more torn up about a decision.
WIBTA if I do not go?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
sZWGPWKT8wSNUKTv8T7eo0hZDerhMSGk
|
b9tiyr
|
{
"description": "leaving the air conditioner in my room on when my dogs were sleeping inside",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for leaving the air conditioner in my room on when my dogs were sleeping inside?
|
I know it's something small, but I am really confused why my mom got mad, but basically what happened was I went outside the house for about an hour, leaving my 2 dogs in my room. I thought they would be hot because it's the summer and it's very hot here, so I decide to leave the air conditioner on in my room. Once I got back my mom scolded me and said I'm wasting electricity.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
50PrTXYb0YmzsKr0YDexQKhxuUHZyX8f
|
ak9kfe
|
{
"description": "offering a customer free food",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for offering a customer free food?
|
I work in a coffeeshop and there's this guy that comes in on weekend mornings. I'm the only person of color that works there, the rest are white girls. On several different occasions, this dude has asked me where I'm from, which he never asks anyone else and I get the feeling he wants me to say a village in India or something and is disappointed when I say Alabama. Then again, it might all be in my head and maybe isn't relevant to this story.
Anyway, today I was cutting bread while my two other coworkers were making drinks. He comes up to the counter and asks me what type of bread it is. I tell him, and he makes a comment about wanting to try it next time. I am NOT good at cutting bread and cut a slice too thin (it was too thin to sell but still decently sized.) I decide to tell him, "hey, I accidentally cut this piece a bit too small, do you want to have it?" And he looked at me and then at the ground, with this weird facial expression like I'd offended him, and shakes his head no. I said "no?" since I was surprised, and my coworker saved the situation by smiling and insisting on putting it in a bag for him, which he took.
So here's the thing: I feel like it might've been an asshole move on my part to act like I was giving him charity or trying to make him benefit from my screw up. I might also be assuming that he just didn't like that I'm Indian and that I tried to hand him free stuff and that might've offended him, because he took it from my coworker. I might've just lacked social grace and should've said it was a sample instead of making it sound like I was only giving it to him because I messed up. Am I being an asshole by assuming he's prejudiced or just rude or am I in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
ITdg0fXOJO5kkVeP4q8ZI8fEoryE1SBo
|
ak9kze
|
{
"description": "telling my best friend that he needs to learn a trade or go to college",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I told my best friend that he needs to learn a trade or go to college?
|
So I (20F) and my best friend (20 MTF) have bee friends since our sophomore year of high school. I’m a third year currently attending a tech University just 2 hours away from home.
Whenever I come visit, we usually get the topic of the future-relationships, money, etc. It’s fun for a while, but then I get worried. Ever since high school ended, my best friend has done nothing but work at a low paying retail job, in which he recently quit.
He struggles with Gender Dysphoria daily, as he hasn’t started his transition, so I try my best to understand where he’s coming from, as a non-trans person. He complains often about not being able to find a job, and I understand completely. It’s hard to find a decent job that will hire you quickly, so it can be straight up frustrating, especially for him because his bosses from his last job went out of their way to misgender him, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that would happen to him at other jobs too.
He is extremely intelligent, and he’s an artist, like me. Yet he doesn’t want to go to college. Sure, college isn’t for everyone. But, I wish he’d do SOMETHING that would help stabilize his future, rather than doing cheap commissions from people he knows on discord.
If he continues to go on like this, he won’t have any money to do anything. No money to transition, no money to move out, or feed himself, and it worries me. I love him so much and don’t want him to feel helpless or kill himself from being overwhelmed.
WIBTA for telling him he should learn a trade, or sign up for scholarships to go to school? With his art skills, he could easily get into a nice art school. However, he’s not very proactive when it comes to education, and at times it comes off as apathetic. Would I be an asshole for saying this, although his life is not my own, and college is obviously not for everyone?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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RIGHT
|
w1dwoRKwlCEjeLq71D9RpdVRGer84fJp
|
ayi32m
| null |
AITA
|
So I have a old friend let's call him Jeff, now me and Jeff where close friends and used to play fortnite a lot together but he was always very picky with everything always wanted the best stuff and if he didn't have it in the game he would kick me from the party.
Time for the story: We where playing fortnite again because I was bored and needed to do challenges so I could get my rewards so we started to play and I open a chest and get a gold rpg obviously he wants it and asks me for it or I'm I'm getting kicked now I always gave in because I wanted someone to play with but today I turned around and said no he says fine but your getting kicked after the match.
So the the match goes on and I'm doing pretty well when I spot a team and try to get them I get one but the other knocks me and Jeff kills him but then because I had that rpg he waited for me to die and just emoted on me now this was very annoying and I died so I go to message him and say something like this:
Me:WHAT THE FUCK I HELP YOU OUT SO MUCH AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME
Jeff:you wouldn't give the rpg when I asked you to so stop being so annoyed by it you fucking twat I then report him and 4 hours later u get a message from him on my phone saying this "I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU HAVE JUST GOTTEN MY ACCOUNT FUCKING SUSPENDED FOR 2 WEEKS, YOU ARE A ACTUAL NAZI (I'm German so this offended me) FIRST YOU RUIN MY ACCOUNT AND NOW OUR FRIENDSHIP BITCH".
So guys let me k ow AITA here for reporting him or was it worth it he doesn't speak to me anymore.
Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes I write in mobile and English isn't my first language hope you enjoy its my first post
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
HUTfXQo1wNA9eCz4JZU0CTfv7Kk3POav
|
b1bw5f
|
{
"description": "not recognizing my boyfriend's sarcasm during an argument",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not recognizing my boyfriend's sarcasm during an argument?
|
After arguing in my car, I thought my boyfriend slammed the door. He was angry and already raising his voice, cursing and waiving his hands. Here is the exchange that took place.
Me: please don't slam my car door
Him: I didn't slam it, I pushed it normally.
Me: Okay I'm sorry, I thought I heard it slam.
You: I can slam it if you want me to
Me: No, please don't slam my door.
He said he was being sarcastic in offering to slam my car door, but I understood that he was threatening to slam it. Am I the asshole for not receiving it as sarcasm?
Again, this post has been read over by my boyfriend and he would like to hear popular opinion on the matter.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
QNfC1wV1a2PfCgsTnfelE79lpvSnM7Ak
|
b0eyrh
|
{
"description": "distancing myself from my friends due to them inviting someone I dislike",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I distanced myself from my friends due to them inviting someone I dislike?
|
First of all: mobile, formatting, blah blah blah
So basically, my closest friend group consists of me and six other people. We are all really comfortable with each other, and we’ve all been friends with each other for years with the exception of one of us.
At the beginning of the year, a kid who I’ll name John came to school. From the first week of school, I could tell that John was a really mean person. But I chose to be a nice person and not make assumptions, and tried to befriend him. However my efforts were to no avail, as this guy just chose to completely dislike me, being super mean to me and saying completely incorrect trash talk in front of my closest friends. He spread false rumors, made fun of me in front of the girl that I was trying to impress, and genuinely didn’t want to let me make any effort to be friends with him.
Fast forward a few months, and this stuff has been continuing throughout, and I have stopped attempting to be friends with him. Important info: my close friend group is well aware of my history with John. Some of them are friends with him, but rarely does he hang out with us.
Recently, for the past few weeks, we have started a tradition called cereal Monday’s. We eat chipotle, walk around town, and for the final act, we would head to the nearby giant, all get those small bowls of cereal, and eat at a nearby coffee shop. I would end up chugging the milk at the end, and it was our fun little group thing. However, yesterday they decided to just invite him to our Cereal Monday’s despite being well aware of our history. Upon adding him to our group chat, I was up front about removing him and tried to argue with them, but they still decided to defend him, and now he is coming with us no matter what. I removed myself from the group chat and now they are all mad at me. I don’t know what to do. I am considering distancing myself temporarily, but I feel like that will be the wrong way to accomplish my end goal.
Am I being immature, or AITA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
a8i1c2
|
{
"description": "trying to make a classmate skip practice for the school musical",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to make a classmate skip practice for the school musical?
|
I am on my school's mock trial team, and one of the people on our team texted me today saying that she is dropping out from the team because she got cast in the school musical. The team meets once a week, and musical is 5 days a week. I need her to skip the one day of practice to be on our team, because if she doesn't, the team isn't eligible to compete, because we don't have enough people. We have the competition in a month, and there isn't enough time to find someone new and train them, as well as the fact that there are no people lined up to join. (It's not super popular). She signed up 2 months ago, and did the trial last year too. She just joined the musical.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ZrsgOpYabIEyaOnCAiqMgRMAVBI9rBVA
|
a8jb2c
|
{
"description": "dating my good friends ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for dating my good friends ex?
|
So a bit of backstory, me and my friend have known each other for 2 years. He has told about this girl he was dating and how big of a bitch she was to him, things went down and she broke it of.
She was okay but he wasn’t, you see my friend was very controlling and didn’t allow her to do anything without his approval or him being there.
He I still salty about today mainly because the breakup was very messy and they did make out a couple of times at parties.
Fast forward to the present I got into a new class where she is, we hit it of pretty well and start talking a lot and we very good friends.
I told my friend about one day and he got confused and asked me “why would you be friends with such a cunt?” And I told him to chill and that I thought she was pretty aight.
So guys, am i the asshole for trying to date my friends ex?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
5T60IqImXD9sG3A0Q9MA1gvGB60ufn7a
|
9ycjgy
|
{
"description": "telling a guy to fuck off after asking for my snapchat",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling a guy to fuck off after asking for my Snapchat
|
I was playing overwatch and decided to join a competitive group through lfg. As soon as I joined and said hello someone asked me if I was single. I said yes and brushed it off, thinking they wouldn’t go any further and if they did I’d just mute them. They seemed nice enough and after one game I decided to play another. He started flirting with me again even after I tried to sound uninterested and eventually asked if I had a Snapchat. Assuming he would ask for nudes or send me a dick pic if I told him I decided to just tell him to fuck off so he’d stop flirting. After that he said that he muted me and I’d be removed after the game since I was rude and telling him to fuck off was uncalled for. I typed in chat why I said that he he just said to never assume. After that I left the group before he removed me, but I still felt kind of bad for telling him that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
69ptFO1GuC6a0WpN1zSjo9d8PI9K2J2P
|
ah4t9a
|
{
"description": "refusing to do more work to carry my robotics team",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to do more work to carry my robotics team?
|
Background:
I do some FIRST robotics stuff. I'm on an FRC and FTC team(FRC being higher level). I'm trying to juggle both currently. I previously basically solo built and coded(and drove at competition) the FTC team's robot. I stayed up late past the normal meeting times and came in on days we weren't meeting in the days before to work on and program the robot before a competition this past weekend. We are now finishing a new robot, which I built almost completely alone in the weeks before the competition.
Now:
A night ago was the first meeting after the competition. We discussed how the competition went then got out the new robot I had built to finish it. I told the team what we had to do(I'm the leader of the build) and said to get to work. I was completely hands off the whole night. I told the team mentors that I was doing that because I did not want to be stuck where I was last time finishing the robot for the team on my own. I'm still planning on programming it because our original programmer left for FRC. I'm actually supposed to be doing FRC, but haven't been able to because I've had to finish the FTC team's robot.
Basically, AITA for refusing to work because I didn't want to end up in the same position of carrying the team as I did last week?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
U193s7dwbaFBZdHQqZxz8CCWSQurEicA
|
abv83u
|
{
"description": "advising my ex to break up with her boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for advising my ex to break up with her boyfriend?
|
Hello, Reddit! I'm \[M18\] and the ex in question is \[f19\] for details sake. After not having talked to this person for almost a year, she replied to my Snapchat story, where I continued to to start a friendly conversation with her, since I was bored and on a bus. After some minutes of small talk she said that she needed to rant to someone, and continued to explain everything that she feels isn't going great in her life. Out of respect, I'll avoid saying anything that is directly related to the topic at hand. She also told me that she doesn't really have feelings for her boyfriend anymore, and has felt like this for a while. I asked her why is she still together with him, and she responded that he loves her, and at this point she's pretty much together with him just for his sake. Now, I personally could relate to this, as I had been on the other side of the same situation, where a person was with me for the last couple of months, just out of sympathy, for the lack of a better word. I told her that she should talk to her boyfriend, as I doubted he would enjoy being lied to in a relationship, and to also reevaluate if this isn't the thing that's causing her to be depressed. I also said that breaking up is an option for her. She continued to say that I'm too nice, and that I shouldn't say such nice things,because she'll get attached to me, i continued to very politely say that I doubt that I'm still the same person she remembers me to be, and that when she feel stable and happy I'd be okay with getting to know her again, which with hindsight might've not been the best idea, as I really don't have feelings for her anymore, and I doubt I would've developed any. The next day she told me that she is going to talk to her boyfriend and also stated that he threatened her that he'll jump out of a 7th floor window if she dumps him. (I cannot be 100% correct, but that is what I was told by her). At that point I got very mad, and told her that he is mentally unstable to do that, and that its a toxic and abusive thing to say, and that if I was her I would dump him for saying stuff like that. The next day it turned out that they broke up, and she started texting me. Now I didn't want to lead her on, since I don't want to hurt or disappoint other people in that way, but I started to respond less and less, until yesterday she just stopped sending me things. I felt bad, but I did not want to carry her burden. Flash forward to now, where her ex-boyfriend who she ended up getting back together with today tagged me in his instagram story, and said that ''If a person is depressed and close to suicide that must mean that they're mentally unstable. Well according to (my name) it does (which I don't get at all, since that's how it works, lol) and then goes on to say that I'm a spoiled person, and that the world would be shittier if there were more people like me. Now I feel a bit angry that I legitimately tried to help someone, and ended up getting backlash from it, and what's worse is that there are some people who know me from his followers, and i'll now have to justify myself for trying to do the right thing. So, Reddit, is the backlash justified? Did I end up doing something wrod? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
dmWVqsRexzPcBVStkrUY7r1fhPJ6SAVb
|
ax159x
|
{
"description": "telling my buddy I don't want his girl to come",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for telling my buddy I don't want his girl to come?
|
Scenario: I've been married for many years and long-time-solo Buddy has been with Girl for a year or 2 (finally!). We used to hang out a lot together and equally as much with him third wheeling it. Ever since Girl came along, Buddy has been an absent buddy, we rarely see each other and when we do, Girl has to be there. We have common interests so I don't know what's going on there. Girl is ok in short doses but she's a bit hyperactive. In the interest of full disclosure, I probably resent girl a bit for taking my buddy but try not to show it.
​
Problem: I scored tickets to an event out of town later this month and asked Buddy if he wanted to come (like the old days I thought). He mentions girl so I told him that Wifey wasn't keen and wouldn't be coming. Buddy wants to come but so does Girl and now she's excited about having a short holiday. He's phrased it as though I have a choice but they'll probably be offended if I exclude her.
​
WIBTA for saying I don't want Girl to join us this time?
​
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
am3lck
|
{
"description": "almost ruining a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For almost ruining a relationship
|
I had a girlfriend a while ago and she was an absolute bitch (controlling, manipulative) but she would always want love and affection from me even though she was like that, after a while she cheated on me with one of my closest friends after I didn't talk to her for 2 days because I didn't have my phone and was in another state.
She treated him the same and made his life terrible but he didn't do anything, after a while I was tired of seeing him sad and angry because of her and unblocked her from my phone and gave her hell, I told her to stop making his life shit and angering him.
My friend came to me the next day and seemed fine but he wasn't open about anything, she won't talk to him but she's done this before and come back and texted later usually asking for sexual favours or something similar.
She did come back and asked for a sexual favour, but I can't help but feel like an asshole, am I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
TNmXzvXk26RC5HiEnFhJf0FvqjMun8xM
|
aw390r
| null |
AITA for my ex’s love interest what he did to me?
|
He broke up with me after 3 years of relationship , saying all that “I’ve got too much to deal with in life that I’m not ready to he in any relationship.” We broke up on good terms and at least we still cared about each other- oh so I thought.
1 month later, I heard him enthusiastically and loudly talk about his new love interest in gathering of a group of mutual friends. He knew for a fact that I was just 2 feet behind him. First thing that came to mind was being worried that he might get with girls that treat him like shit (he did before).
I was at first upset that he chose to lie to me even at the very last moment of the relationship... but later I found out more and more that made me pretty upset and angry.
He kept saying he did not feel anything for the girl until after we broke up - truth is he’s been talking to some mutual friends about this girl just 2 hrs before the breakup, and it was them who said dude this is not cool you gotta end stuff before you can do anything... so he broke up with me 2 hrs later.
When we were together, he always told me he couldn’t make plans cos “his mom makes all the decisions” and he has no say over his schedule (he’s 23 now btw.) But to my surprise, he managed to convince his entire family to go on a trip just to travel to see the new girl.
Then slowly I came to realise that he was never faithful. He once lied to my face about how he injured his knee while I was literally kneeling in front of him, doing his wound dressing for him. He lied about the most trivial things, and when I ask questions he would cover it with another lie, then another.
So after discovering all that, I found the girl on social media. I told her that he lied to me countless times and cheated on me (made out with girls when we were together). I read what I typed many, many times to make sure it was just stating facts, (i.e. he told lies a lot, cheated on me, and the exact time we were together - cos apparently he lied to his family and friends about that too). I showed some of my friends to make sure the tone was fine.
All I wanted to do was to let her know... cos if I were in the same position, I would want to at least know that this person (at least “used to”) treat his SO this way, and to take what he says with a grain of salt.
I was certain there is always a possibility that the girl feels I was talking rubbish, or she might think he’d change for her or whatever. I wasn’t trying to make a choice FOR her. INFORMED DECISION was what I was concerned about.
Of course, his friends and family thought I was taking revenge. They said “how dare you who gave you the right to do that?” I really, really wanted to say, I really don’t need anyone’s permission to talk to her...? But I didn’t. I apologised for making them feel hurt.
My ex also kept using the fact that I had been on social media after we broke up - dude I wasn’t the one who claimed to not be ready for any relationship??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
j5biV1qZv806pZRwb8a4mR6EuZUfSxFF
|
9zjvso
|
{
"description": "banning depressed people from a streamers twitch chat",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for banning depressed people from a streamers twitch chat?
|
I mod for a streamers channel and every so often someone will come into chat and ruin the vibe. The streamer doesn’t have rules about that but then talking about their depression get annoying honestly. The streamer will be nice, ask them about their day and the depression topic gets brought up. I usually time them out for 5 minutes but occasionally they come back trying to talk about their depression and I ban them. I can tell the streamer gets annoyed but she hasn’t said anything to me about it yet. So far I banned 8 people.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
RIGHT
|
zWeLjEZUSkjzHWkJvy55OMi1mhMgVH1h
|
aqg1od
| null |
AITA? 23 (M) living at home working and taking courses at local college. Due to failing a class I owe my parents a bit of money. To work it off I’ve been doing some of the harder chores around the house.
|
This includes; moving furniture, mowing the lawn, sealing small holes in the trim of our basement from nail indentations, chopping firewood, shoveling snow, raking leaves. I also water the plants around the house, do all the dishes, took both our cars for safety and emission checks, and do the majority of the laundry. But I absolutely refuse to fold their underwear/socks. This is just gross to me, and I would rather get hit with one of their socks filled with Duracell batteries than do that. That made my mom specifically, really mad. But I refused to bend on this and offered to do any other thing they needed done. I ended up organizing my dads tool storage space, and haven’t gotten much push-back since. But just the other day my mom asked me to clean their bathroom. I said I would vacuum, and wipe down the counters, but I didn’t feel comfortable cleaning their toilet or shower which she explicitly asked me to do. This pissed her off a lot and she said that if I didn’t do it the rest of the work I’ve done wouldn’t count towards paying off my debt. I really don’t want to clean my parents piss and shit/ grime from their shower. Am I just being a germaphobe asshole? Or am I somewhat justified in not wanting to do this? Also I offered to wash their cars instead but I ended up just adding another chore to my list with the bathroom on top of it.
My wording of things may be somewhat biased but I’m trying to be serious here. I truly don’t want to clean their toilet and the thought of doing so makes me wretch internally. Any help with dealing with this would also be appreciated.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
RMEKjBZk0rkP4iEMQcMUqSmhZYCpVxjS
|
b1wxxj
|
{
"description": "making out with my flatmates drunk friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making out with my flatmates drunk friend?
|
TL;DR at the bottom.
Bit of a situation I'm feeling a little odd over. So last night my flatmate K (20s F) had her good friend C (20s F) for drinks, since it had previously been C's birthday. I (20s M) ended up drinking with them, and we all ended up getting quite drunk, and walking to the nearby Maccas for some drunk food. C was gonna walk home at this point, be K and I offered her Ks room for the night, as she was going to go to her boyfriends. C agreed, and we walked K to her boyfriends flat, and then C and I headed back to mine.
When we got home, C felt sick from all the drinking, so I stayed up talking to her for awhile. As I did I realized that I was finding her more and more attractive, and we ended up cuddling on K's bed. I offered for us to move to my room, as I didn't wanna be an asshole, and sleep and possibly to sexual stuff in my flatmate's bed, especially when my room was just down the hallway. C declined, and so I made ready to go to my room and sleep. As I started to get up, I decided to give kissing her a shot, and I did and she kissed me back, and we ended up making out for a bit. After I reoffered for us to move to my room she pushed me off saying she was too drunk to do anything else. So we stopped, and sat there and talked for a little longer, I gave her a few more kisses, and then I went off to my own room. When I got there I had a mild panic, and my drunk ass didn't know if I'd just enjoyed an awkward make out session, or had been super creepy, so my hungover self puts it to you Reddit, am I the asshole?
TL;DR- Got drunk with my flatmate and her friend, offered to look after my flatmates friend, and ended up making out with her on my flatmates bed.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
zKMEwqHFjBu0W2znHq3IqZP32tWtZ1Ro
|
a7wb87
|
{
"description": "kicking my roommate out just because I got annoyed by him and do not trust him",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I kick my roommate out just because I got annoyed by him and do not trust him
|
We are living together for 2 months. He is a normal dude, we do not have any complex communication problems. He knows that this apartment for him is temporary.
But, he keeps asking me could he stay more. I’m generally okay with him but I can support this apartment on my own and I just don’t like him in general. He does not have a better option so I feel guilty.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
59RJJU8SN4TDNp9FzVLEuzV3ySyHVcp6
|
avr56u
|
{
"description": "not going on this years family vacation",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not going on this years family vacation?
|
I need your input!
My immediate family has been taking the same vacation for 6 years! For the past 3 years we have stayed in the same house, it’s an absolute blast and I wouldn’t want to miss it for the world. Unfortunately however this year is different. This year my parents invited my girlfriend and I! We were super stoked until we read the fine lines of the (email) invitation.
Paying for airfare, understood got it no problem. Paying for dinner and drinks, got it no problem. But this year, they want us both to throw $700 at the lodging, which hasn’t changed in price or lot size over the past 4 years.
Both my girlfriend and I have been in the workforce just over two years now, both of us have debt, and we were invited to this vacation. All in all we’d be looking at around $1,400 for 6 days. We just can’t make it a priority. But I’m curious, are my expectations to high?
TL;DR: My family has been taking the same vacation for 6 years, nothing has changed and this year the expect me to pay for everything myself after inviting me. Airfare/Food/Drinks I understand, not lodging.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
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"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
XkBIBhbCEbJkLJ6t7En4kjKc53r1Vujc
|
aqfv1o
|
{
"description": "not wanting to play video games against my friend because he joined an esports team, and I don't stand a chance anymore",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to play video games against my friend because he joined an esports team, and I don’t stand a chance anymore
|
My friend (17 M) and I (16 M) used to race on forza Motorsport quite often, and we were about the same pace, lap time wise. I stopped playing because of other responsibilities, and he got a lot faster, eventually joining a semi-pro Esports team. I am happy for him, don’t get me wrong, but as I recently got back into the game, he has asked me to race with him, and I find myself enjoying it less and less
I totally support his ambitions, but I feel bad for not enjoying and/or looking forward to whenever we play, knowing he will leave me behind. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
AoSCa4d2BXCMIsGeYCH4xv8UR8GhjxTH
|
b7i3ry
|
{
"description": "bringing a knife to a restaurant with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for bringing a knife to a restaurant with my Girlfriend?
|
Today was the birthday of a friend of my girlfriend and it was celebrated on a restaurant about 10 minutes from my home.
I bought a new knife a few days ago, I like knives, I know how to fight and since I live in a pretty dangerous area, I often go out with it to defend myself in case I need to.
I brought it for the birthday and my girlfriend noticed and was very mad at me for bringing it when I’m with her.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
W3pWrAfW0TL2Icm2t7f2XAbtC8UsCquS
|
b0row0
|
{
"description": "wanting to ghost this girl",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting to ghost this girl
|
So I started talking to this girl online via a mutual friend that connected us. We started playing videogames together and texting each other. When we first started talking everything seemed normal; we flirted with each other and just got to know each other a little. Overall, I felt like it was casual and that we were just talking. Suddenly things began to escalate on her side.
This girl begins to tell me she wants to take things very seriously and that she really really likes me, even though we've only been talking for about a couple weeks and we've never even met in person. I tried to reel it back a little after that. I told her I wasn't apposed to being in a relationship down the road but we would have to see where it goes. It seemed like things were going at a normal pace after that.
Then a few nights ago while were talking she suddenly gets emotionally distraught. She tells me she wants go away for awhile, and she doesn't want to speak to anyone in our friend group anymore; she tells me she "wants live alone" and says goodbye. I responded by telling her she clearly is experiencing some kind of loss/pain and that at the end of the day I'd always be there for her if she needed to talk to someone and said goodbye as well. In my mind it was over after that and I could move on from this person without worrying about it.
The next morning the girl texts me at 5am, telling me she's sorry. She revealed that the last person she was in a relationship passed away unexpectedly, and that it's caused her to be apprehensive when she begins to develop feelings for a person. She says that "she knows she could be happy with me", and that she "really does like me". To me this girl is clearly emotionally unstable. Apparently she has a therapist and she said she's making progress with her insecurities but I just don't want to be talking to someone who is codependent. I find it pretty crazy that she has strong feelings for me even though we hardly know each other. It seems to me like shes just projecting her past relationship on to me and I honestly don't know how in touch she is with reality.
She's been texting me throughout the day, she will literally text me when she wakes up saying good morning. I need to get out of this and I don't see an easy way out. The fact that we have mutual friends makes it a little complicated. I want to just ghost her and be done with it. Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
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"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
mSJZacMqmqihuG3Jr3gHfDktaLVmbzN5
|
b3aw2m
|
{
"description": "being bothered by the way she texts",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being bothered by the way she texts?
|
Throwaway because reasons, English isn't my first language, so excuse me if anything seems fishy or janky grammar wise.
Been together with a girl for a handful of months now, we've had our fair share of arguments, which is fine of course, but one thing that has been bothering me the most - the way she texts.
Now, hear me out before you start a witch hunt please. We're both adults and I know how ridiculous this must sound, but she has had a change of behavior when texting me. Like, DRASTIC change in the way she interacts with me on a day to day basis.
It used to be all fine, a lot of attention from both sides, a lot of interest and just affectionate interactions in general. This, however has been getting less and less, even to the point of straight up acting bored and whatnot. The 'lack of emotion through text' sounds so childish when I type it out like this, but, damn, this shit is actually making me think you know?
Being, admittedly, paranoid sometimes, i confronted her about it yesterday. Bad idea, appearantly, as shit hit the fan fast and it snow balled all the way to a full blown argument.
I was upset I didn't get my point across, but eventually apologized, because she had actually broken down crying (during a phonecall which only made matters worse..) feeling criticized and attacked. She feels as if I don't appreciate her anymore, as if I only nag and bitch about everything. She was _mad_ upset. Jump to today and I wrote her a somewhat long, but sincere apology about how I acted like an asshole and shouldn't have done that.
Even now, she is, understandably pretty pissed and refuses to talk to me most of the day.
My question for reddit: AITA for bringing this up, for confronting her about my concerns, even if they're this childish? Am I fucking delusional and should be euthanized or is she actually just trying to put the blame on me?
TL;DR I'm upset my gf of a few months was being less affectionate over text, confronted her and made her cry.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
MDKFftww67qJY4ONlLy72sJLyrZMwdiS
|
aq9195
|
{
"description": "not telling my girlfriend the truth",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not telling my girlfriend the truth
|
Backstory: I dated a girl for 2 1/2 years starting in high school to sophomore year of college. I ended up breaking up with her because she was living at home working jobs she hated just to stay near me. I told her she didn't has to stay in our hometown but she wanted to. I wanted her to live her own life and be happy without feeling stuck there. She ends up moving to Nashville and has a new boyfriend. She seems really happy and I'm really happy for her.
​
I'm now a senior in college and I have I have been dating a girl for 6 months who is perfect. These past two weeks her friends have been finding out that their boyfriends have been messaging their ex's and cheating on them. She is super upset for her friends and is ranting to me about how shitty it is for those guys to reach out to their ex's. She feels as if reaching out to your ex is a horrible thing to do and shows a lack of commitment and trust. The thing is, i actually reached out to my ex 3 months back because her grandmother died. My ex was always super close to her grandmother and basically considered her grandmother he actual mom. So, I reached out to her and said (actual texts words for word)
​
Me: "Hey I'm really sorry to hear about your grandma. I know how close you were with her and how much you cared about her. I hope you're doing alright."
​
Her: "Not alright haha. I really appreciate you reaching out. Really means a lot and would mean a lot to her too."
​
I never told her this and I always felt it was one of those things that better if I wouldn't tell her. I never talked to her again after that message. Every time I listen to her rants I just keep my mouth shut on how I've talked to my ex too because I don't want her to worry.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
wi13ESEgBN3Yryh3k88tJjrpphJ1DGr4
|
awxwb5
|
{
"description": "abandoning my depressed friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for abandoning my depressed friend?
|
TLDR; Cut contact with high school friend because I didn't like hanging out with her anymore but she has anxiety and depression and really needs to hang out with friends to be ok.
This happened a couple of years ago but she appeared in my dreams two nights in a row and I think I might be feeling guilty.
I (20F) was friends with this girl (19F) all throughout high school. She was fun and I knew from that time she already struggled with anxiety to the point of not being able to do some tests out of nervousness, but it was getting worse each year.
When school ended we both went to college we kept hanging out. We would go to clubs, bars and the beach, always by her proposal. It wasn't really my thing, I rarely had fun at those outings and I would much prefer staying home alone in my computer. I knew she couldn't stand to stay home alone because she'd get anxiety attacks so I usually accepted it just to keep her company.
But I was getting more and more annoyed by wasting my time and money in places I did not enjoyed. Going out with her was tiring. And even when we'd stay in, she always wanted to do something I was not in the mood for and I counted the seconds until she left.
So I decided to turn down every proposal to hang out with her, hoping she would eventually stop trying. That went on for months and during that time, I found out she was doing much worse with her anxiety and now depression. It was paralyzing her life and I tried to offer some comfort through texts. I knew her she wasn't well, but I can't say I actually felt bad for her, my only concern was not being too much of an asshole by saying "I don't want to be your friend anymore", specially now that she was struggling with her mental health. I dreaded that conversation and the awkwardness of running into her after that.
I kept texting her because I didn't mind it. But now her invitations were loaded with guilt-tripping about her wanting to hurt herself if she stayed home so she really needed me to go out with her. That's when I got repulsed and wanted to cut thing off as soon as possible.
I struggled with finding words not to hurt her. So a basically said I did not feel comfortable hanging out with her anymore because we had grown apart and that if she ever wanted to vent or wanted advise, she could still talk to me. As I expected, she was really hurt to hear this and, to my surprise, she said she considered me her best friend, she was also a little offended by the offer to talk to her when she was bad as it would feel like I was doing it out of pity.
She vented about it to all of our mutual friends and some of them gave me the benefit of the doubt but when they asked me to explain, they were even more astonished by my coldness. I didn't lose lose any other friend because of this, but I'm sure they lost any admiration they ever had for me.
At the time I felt I really needed to do it but now I can't justify this behavior anymore.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
8tIi8vLsZrv95dhRXTQenmgdUuQbGddz
|
b0wzeb
|
{
"description": "speaking out my mind to a friend about his relationship",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for speaking out my mind to a friend about his relationship
|
Long story short, a really close friend of mine got into a relationship 2 weeks ago, since then he has distanced himself from myself and others we have in common. On two occasions he has asked me what I think of his relationship and his gf and I was pretty open about the fact that I see too many differences and do not think that it will last. I was thinking that I might be the only one feeling this way but common friends have approached me with the same concern.
Is it better to lie to him and support him even after he asks for my opinion?
What would you do if you see that you are losing a long time friend over a relationship?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
HlMLWMvHsQUeO7xRmT5CAdyKj030fKCH
|
b5oulq
|
{
"description": "not wanting to try doing things with my friend anymore",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to try doing things with my friend anymore?
|
My (26F) best friend (25F) recently got a new significant other and it has been really difficult to see them anymore. I am delighted that she finally has someone who cares about her deeply, and wants to shower her with the attention she deserves. But lately she has been ignoring my texts and phone calls, and when I ask if she wants to hang out weeks ahead of time, she will already have something planned out. Last night I asked if she was available to do something together after my conference was done in three weeks, and she said that she was not available. We are soon to be moving in together, and I don’t want to feel resentful of her. AITA for not wanting to try to schedule things anymore?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
CcZ5ND6Gqcsi7rIIOr0ZkIeRHcpNdMRk
|
b1pmh3
|
{
"description": "not letting my parents stay at my place",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for not letting my parents stay at my place?
|
I'm using a throwaway account, but basically my parents are planning a trip to come visit me in NYC during the summer for two weeks. They are travelling from Asia, which can be an expensive and long trip. (I actually came back from a trip there visiting them a month ago.)
They asked me if I they could stay over my place for the whole two weeks, which I am fine with, but I live with two roommates who each have a cat. Our apartment is medium-sized with no guest room and has limited space. I am concerned with the limited space, but also that if they stay longer than a week, then it may bother my roommates who have their own lives and jobs and probably wast their own space, or maybe want to have friends over but may be put off by the presence of my parents.
I want to ask my parents if they can find a hotel for the second week, but I know that they travelled far to see their child and AirBnB/hotels can be expensive in NYC. So WIBTA if I asked them to do so?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
klAklOeJb4T9cMzbwt27xdZZhw5tSwy8
|
apbtgs
|
{
"description": "exploiting my boyfriend natural weaknesses against him on fights",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For exploiting my boyfriend natural weaknesses against him on fights?
|
My boyfriend and I love to play-fight, roughhouse, wrestle, whatever you call it. We just love this experience of competitiveness and the trust we give each other to hit and allow the be hit without harm and to grapple and wrestle.
He being a man is naturally larger wider and stronger with his 1,80M (6') against my short-ass with only 1,59 (5'2"), we are both former athletes from high school and are in-shape-ish, so its not that easy of a fight, but he does have this natural advantage over me, so to make things even try to turn his male aspect into a disadvantage by hitting where it hurts I often try to hit him below the belt to get an edge when I get a chance on the wrestle.
Being highly competitive and disliking to lose, it has become ALMOST my to go strategy due to how trivial it is to apply, but that didn't actually even things out, he usually gets me pinned before I can fully exploit his male weak spot. Please don't think that I'm trading full out blows and kicking and hitting him with all my force, I know it's a sensitive area (and I might want to have fun with it later in the night) so I wouldn't hit it hard IF hitting was permitted at all (it isn't), I give it a slight tap, or punch, not enough to incapacitate him (most times) but enough to break his posture and flinch on reflex.
I've actually spoken with him about it and he said something along the lines of "As long as I can jack off later in the weekend and can walk straight, I don't really mind it, be mindful of your force tho.", but the reason I'm making this post is...it feels cheap, I FEEL LIKE AN ASSHOLE, it kind of feels like cheating on a game and when you get the glorious victory its not glorious at all because you didn't win through your skill but....through cheats, i hate to win but I also dislike winning in this "dishonorable" way, that's why I put "almost" in all caps before, it will never be my to-go strategy because it doesn't feel that good, I still wanna beat him on skill and wrestle alone.
Another thing to mention, even tho there is some sort of powerplay to it, this is not something that gets out of play time, in no way this should resemble an abusive relationship, we are really set on differing what is okay when we are playing and joking around and when we are having some serious talk, we don't even have "normal" couple fights with yelling, we sit on a couch and discuss in a really civil manner our problems when we have one, so yeah, dick punching stays on the playmat.
So Reddit, what is your say?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
OZGzqBwVclRVAWTGW0dXY6LNzAeYuls2
|
aq31kl
|
{
"description": "making my sister pay for something she broke/lost",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for making my sister pay for something she broke/lost
|
Obligatory happened a few months ago and I'm on mobile
So what happened is my sisters car battery died but when we went to help her car started up. Now I told her to use my battery charger just to charge it overnight to be safe. She wouldnt unlock her car so I left it on the roof of her car
Fast forward next day at New Years family party. I asked her if she used it and where she put it
She denied that I left it behind and when we went to ask my mom a couple of my cousins said it was my fault and ganged up on me because "I left the charger there so it's my fault"
Anyway I left the house to walk around town and look for the charger never found it
I later told her she owes me A. New charger or B. Money for a new one she refuses and doesnt care
Some other backstory
my sister lives with my auntie
My sister is 17 I'm 15
My sister car is red and so was my battery charger
I bought the charger at a yardsale in new condition (not a scratch no rust or dents
TD;LR sister lost battery charger told her she needs to replace it
PS *NEVER* lend out tools
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
Z0tu5RjGLxxS58n3bfnw2bmBbefD43bM
|
b5woz4
|
{
"description": "being honest",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being honest?
|
I talk with a friend online and we’re both creative people and constantly coming up with silly ideas for short stories or characters. When we have a serious idea about a story or character we’ll bounce plot or characterization ideas off each other for honest feedback. Since we’re both night owls we’re often up late messaging each other about ideas.
I’ve noticed however that when I give honest feedback to my friend about their plots and ideas they shut down and often change whatever their username is to something really upsetting and become incredibly blunt with me. (E.g “K” and for usernames it’s currently “and set me free..”)
Today they gave me an idea for a story about two people who are running away (For whatever reason) and meet two others along the way. Two of them are kids and become jealous of the women that joins. I told them that to me that description sounded kinda boring and that I personally prefer stories with more conflict but that’s just me and I thought that maybe instead of the conflict just being that there’s jealousy within the group that they have to learn to work together to run from whatever they’re running from.
Our conversation went like this:
Me: You know you don’t have to shut down when I give you feedback it’s nothing against you
Them: Ik.
Me: I’m just trying to help
Them: cool.
Afterwards they deleted their messages about their idea. And are still being blunt with me.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
otMFFd9UmL49cJeVj7j9HQz7uj3IOWQO
|
aa2gbp
|
{
"description": "making a JOKE to a girl who goes to my school",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for making a JOKE to a girl who goes to my school
|
Me and this fat girl were at a mutual friends Christmas party when we were both asked to go outside to bring in some boxes of soda from the backyard fridge. I had trouble lifting two boxes at once because of a shoulder injury I got when playing football. She grabbed one of the boxes from me and said "gimme that, weak boy". I responded with "more for you then, piggy". She then dropped the drinks and stormed inside. Now everyone is pissed at me when she started it in the first place. Am I really the asshole when she started it in the first place?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
Utp3voIDBgZsMkwuNXAJ9wwAgCvlOjqc
|
aw7gog
|
{
"description": "almost losing my composure at work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for almost losing my composure at work.
|
So I had gotten this summer job after returning home from university to make a little extra cash. I decided to work at this place because a couple of my friends worked there, this turned out to be a mistake on my part. I have social anxiety, which I have struggled with for years. I wouldn't say that it's severe, as I can have conversations and blend in relatively well without making any situation too awkward. However, I am terrible at starting convos and keeping them going. I often find myself at a loss for words, or I feel like it has run it's course. I am also prone to anxiety and panic attacks
As per most retail places where the goal is to selll, we had a quota to meet. As far as I know there was no real penalty for not meeting your quota, at least at this particular location, because I was never called out for it, and neither was anybody else. Nobody seemed to really care.
It would seem that my inability to keep conversations going hindered my sales goals. As I worked there for about three months and only met my goal four times. There were a few times where I barely missed it, but most of the time I made about 60 percent for the day on a four hour shift. I was very confused as to what to do most of the time, as I received conflicting information from my managers. Some of the managers wanted us to push ourselves onto the customer as much as possible, others wanted us to introduce ourselves and ask them if they needed help, and to let them do their own thing.
So one day, I'm just doing my thing and I make a sale after looking for a pair of shoes for about a minute or two, and afterwards one of the new managers, who we'll call Dave, pulled me aside and chastised me. Telling me that I need to get the merch out quicker, while also saying that my coworker who we'll call Victor, got shoes as quickly as twenty seconds.
Now I think that was an unfair comparison, because at the time Victor was a manager and I was only working there for a month, he obviously knew the very large backroom better than I did. Next transaction, I bought out the shoes, made the sale, only to find out that Dave was timing me on his phone. He said it took me a minute to find the shoes and that it was too long of a time to take.
At this point my social anxiety started to take over and I was starting to have an anxiety attack. I went into the backroom so that no one would see and started hyperventilating. After collecting my thoughts, I went to Dave and told him politely but sternly that I was overwhelmed and that I wanted to quit. He told me to calm down and to not make any hasty decisions.
I know it probably wasn't the best move to try and quit on the spot and I'm not proud of it in retrospect, but I still wasn't thinking too clearly at the time. He left me alone to do my job after this. AITA for putting him in a difficult situation and being unable to keep my composure in a professional environment?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ojy112BLa3Z44By2WIX7GFQXqIgw1v2l
|
adnqqc
|
{
"description": "upsetting my mum for telling her to take back my new school shoes",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for upsetting my mum for telling her to take back my new school shoes
|
My mother has recently had changes at work that mean she doesn’t have the same amount of money as she used to, but she still acts as if we have the old amount of money.
I’ve been trying to get her to save money by buying most of my school supplies from my own money but she still needlessly spends money on things that I don’t need.
The other day she showed me a brand new ($120) of school shoes which I refused and told her to take them back, this made her quite upset with me and makes me feel like an asshole but I had to endure it so she can save money. The shoes aren’t the only thing in this chain of events but is the most prominent
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
fxqVx324CmZWCwrveRgaY1iTi2RPoLMm
|
abeli5
|
{
"description": "throwing a pile of tree limbs into my neighbors yard",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I threw a pile of tree limbs into my neighbors yard?
|
To give some background, the houses in my neighborhood are spaced a bit apart, kind of like a normal suburb type feel. My house and the neighbor in question both have gigantic pine trees in our yards, I have two and they have about 4. These things are seriously monstrous and the pine needles are a nightmare.
So, a few weeks ago, we had some pretty bad weather: primary harsh winds and pelting rain. Because of this, many smaller limbs from the pines trees came down and littered pretty much everywhere. Since I've lived here for a while, it was something I was used to, I picked up the limbs from the yard and roof, whatever.
Well a few days ago, I noticed that there was a small pile of limbs dumped onto the corner of my front yard closest to this neighbors house. Ever since, I have been getting more and more aggitated by this. I don't tend to let a lot bother me, but I feel like this was just a stupid slap in the face. He would have had to go around his front yard, pick up all of the branches, decided they were from my pine tree and dump them in my yard. I've left them there and I cant help but just want to dump them on his property. Part of me wants to dump them in his backyard, another wants to toss them all over his driveway and the last wants to just straight up dump them in front of his front door.
WIBTA if I did any of the above since he felt the need to dump there limbs into my yard? Or should I just clean them up and secretly flip him off when I see him?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
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}
|
WRONG
|
wwPI8KtxCKi2Sy6POvtirloxNqnnQZ7z
|
aw8oso
|
{
"description": "not letting my friend into my house",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting my friend into my house?
|
I was walking home from school one day, and my friend(Lets call him R) calls me. This conversation happens.
R: I'm coming over to your house.
Me: You can't I'm busy. How do you know where I live?
*He hangs up*
About half an hour goes by, and R calls again.
R: Open the door. *He then proceeds to ring the bell for a minute straight.*
Me: I told you, I'm busy. Why are you here, and how do you know where I live?
R continues to ring the bell, so I go downstairs and try to talk to him.
He already left by then.
I get a text a few hours later and he's apologizing, but he's also telling me I should have opened the door.
Did I do something wrong here? Should I have let him in?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
LLw7kSoKkEtb3NZTw3fqKisAV4QFAwrk
|
b934re
|
{
"description": "telling my friend that I need some space",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my friend that I need some space?
|
Another relationship one
Background; I (28M) have been close friends with L (30F) who I met through my best friend (28M), for about a year. Since the start of this year, we have been spending a lot of one-on-one time together, doing the sort of stuff you’d do on dates. Eventually I realised that I had started to see her as more than a friend. For context, L hasn’t dated anyone for almost a year.
Recently, I told her how I felt. L responded that ‘(after making her feel sick) she is only focused on her friendships right now, and that she sees me as a really good friend, and that she’d be happy for us to continue as we were’. I told her that I understand, and that I am happy to continue as friends - which I genuinely meant. The rest of that week, she basically replied with one word answers when I tried talking to her.
As it were, I had a 2.5 week long overseas holiday pre-booked, starting that same week, so we didn’t talk while I was away.
I got home the week of her birthday (3 weeks after I told her how I felt), which I had organised. Things seemed okay as far as I could tell, and we had a good night - L wasn’t super drunk or anything.
The weekend just past was the first opportunity we’ve had to talk. L told me that at her birthday she’d asked the bartender for his number. She told me that this was something way outside her comfort zone, that she didn’t think she had the confidence to do. L said she didn’t want me to hear it from anybody else, because there were a few friends who saw, out of ‘respect’. To me, it felt like that was an attempt to save face. And it hurt.
I was honest and told her that what she did really hurt - that I trusted her to be completely honest with me to begin with. If she had originally said that she didn’t see us as being compatible, I was okay with that. I told her that I needed space - because she did hurt me. She made the choice to get his number, and look for something I couldn’t give her, 3 weeks after she told me she wasn’t looking for anything more than friends. I know it was only a number & I genuinely don’t care what’s happened since, but the intent was to find something more than a friend. To me, that was dishonest. L replied that I was being irrational, and she couldn’t actually believe my behaviour. AITA?
TLDR: told a close friend I had feelings for her, she said that she was not looking for anything. 3 weeks later she gets the number of a bartender at her birthday, which I’d organised. I told her I need some space. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
fdT4mz5VyWqKrHFr541LFCcZEt6o75He
|
a3id97
|
{
"description": "saying to my gf that I'm feeling better some time after talking with her about her being in a bad spot and feeling bad overall",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for saying to my gf that i'm feeling better some time after talking with her about her being in a bad spot and feeling bad overall?
|
I was talking with gf about her problems, she said that nobody in her family listens to her and that her family was arguing all previous day and she couldn't focus on learning to an exam. I listened to her of course and tried to help and make her less sad. It was sad for me also, later i was happier but when we were spending our last minutes together before going to our homes, i was sad. When i was walking back home, i texted her saying that i feel better and it's just that talking about her situation was sad and kinda hard for me. She said that it sounds like i wanted to tell her that the today talk was tiring for me and that she said that it's bad that i focus on my mood when she is in a bad spot and she feels bad (she said it in a more ironic way, suggesting what i said and not saying it as i did). When i was saying that i felt better, i wanted to make my gf less sad, i thought she might be happier reading that from me. She said that it's obvious why i felt sad earlier (hard talk) and before leaving (usual sadness while spending last minutes with a loved one knowing that you'll have to go). I thought that she may be worried nonetheless, that's why i said that i feel better, i didn't mean to focus on my mood more, i know that it's normal that people feel bad while talking about such things. I just wanted to make her happy by saying that i felt better, and when i said that it's just the talk that was hard for me, i meant that there is nothing more that made me sad, i wanted her not to worry, that's all, but it turned out to be a complete failure judging by my gf's reaction. Is what i did bad? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
zLQ2gxBs3JmMCNRnpwO52rYOet1Exo2X
|
ay083s
|
{
"description": "cutting off a friend who has sexual harassment claims against him",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I cut off a friend who has sexual harassment claims against him?
|
The photography & creative community can feel pretty small at times, especially when drama starts to brew. I’ve been friends with a male photographer for a few years, when he still in the beginning of his career. We met through Tinder and became friends but as he improved, many more models were working with him.
However, as of towards last year, a story from one of his ex friends started popping up on my Instagram story feed. When I messaged him about what happened, he called me about it and explained how the allegations with his ex friend was exaggerated and how they had digitally manipulated the screenshots. He also explained that another story tag wasHis ex friend took down the story after she was exposed. I initially decided to stay neutral and informed him about it but other model stories started coming out.
Yesterday, I saw a story from a particular model who has worked with him in the past blasting him for posting a photo of her on his Instagram page without credit while she was blocked by him. I’m quoting from her social media, “After all of it, he continued to reach out to me and other models in *took out the location because privacy purposes* (especially in my living environment) in order to gain credibility. None of us have responded and since, and thus, he continues to disrespect us down the line...Plenty of girls who have worked with him have been sexually harassed during his shoots, as well as manipulated into shooting implieds in order to get them into these situations. I do not want our new generation of models to think this is okay.” (For non-photographers: implied means photos where nudity is suggested but not specifically showing the state of undress)
With all of the allegations coming out of the woodwork, I feel conflicted now as to whether or not I should cut him off and even just how to do so if I chose to. I don’t want my professionalism to be compromised by supporting this photographer but we’ve been friends for several years.
TLDR: A friend has multiple allegations of sexual harassment against him in the creative community. I don’t know if I’d be the asshole for cutting him off.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
LhyyDxsj32UOGzPAZvNa9rdVzsxUrzqA
|
avszyb
|
{
"description": "encouraging sexual harassment to get revenge",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for encouraging sexual harassment to get revenge?
|
I am a woman in my mid-thirties working in a white-collar job. Last week we had our performance reviews and I find out that my client did not give me a good review... He chalked it up to lacking good presentation at the office. I was not dressing professionally enough apparently. This *really* pissed me off because this standard is not applied to women in the work place. Men have it so easy, all they have to do is wear a simple button up shirt and pants and they are in the clear. UGGH! Why do we not have double standards in the office people? This gender role stuff really needs to go away.
Over the weekend I go buy all new clothes at a high-end department store. Let's say, I was feeling a bit spiteful when I was picking out my clothes. I decided to purchase some clothes that would be "professional" *and... fun?* Anyways, there wasn't any commotion on Monday about my new belted dress, good. Tuesday and Wednesday pass and I get a few more smiles than normal with my slim fitting, low back dresses, good. Today, I decided to up the ante and wore a miniskirt, a plaid top and braided my hair in pigtails. All of this mind you is within company dress code... while I was leaving a meeting earlier today my now ex-colleague laughed at one of my jokes then put his hand on my lower back as we were leaving the room and walking down the hallway. Sure, a funny joke was made, but he kept putting his FREAKING hand there as we were walking and talking down the hallway. gross gross gross
So, I told my boss that I was sexually assaulted as a result of following his request to dress more professionally... he said that this will result in dismissal if the story is corroborated during the OMBUDs investigation. To give some background on this guy, he is technically at the same level as my boss in the company but I do not work under him (no flipping pun intended, Reddit). Hence, I did not feel comfortable saying anything while it was happening, imagine scrunched up shoulders and walking briskly. Apparently others saw this whole exchange as we were the first to leave the meeting. He was is now on leave while legal and HR sort this out. SERVES HIM RIGHT and I REALLY am itching to talk about my performance review when the opportunity comes up.
The moral dilemma that I am having is that this is beef that I had with my boss and it seems that there was an unintended casualty in the process, shall we say collateral damage? More than that, I feel like I encouraged him to jump on this metaphorical landmine as my body language (eye contact and physicality) might have encouraged the action. But the issue stands that it was still technically an unsolicited sexual touch, which is not an issue that men face in the office. So am I an asshole for getting my colleague at a minimum suspended to possibly fired?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
0eEHTQbiSiFEifM79yODVlmwA8ECatlw
|
b1x864
|
{
"description": "eating junk food in front of my baby brother",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for eating junk food in front of my baby brother?
|
I'm 19 and he's 4. He's my world and I would hate to think he could pick up on my bad habits.
I'm overweight. Not exactly obese but I'm honestly just greedy. I'm active but this doesn't take away my junk food habits. I'm busy with full time university and my job so it's just so much easier to get take out and also i just don't like healthy food.
Every time I go up to my dad's house he has treats for me and my brother witnesses this. It happened ever since I was a child and they divorced. I think that's what began emotional eating for me. I have a kind of therapist that helps me with my autism but she doesn't take it seriously because I'm not very big.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
pfZf6gdnn5DLe87hPvyp3RzAt1kJ9DPl
|
a98eip
|
{
"description": "refusing to speak to my mom",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Refusing to Speak to my Mom?
|
To give you guys some info, my little brother was sent to a rehab facility for drugs. He mostly smoked weed but started experimenting with a bunch of different drugs. He was doing Xanax, painkillers, drinking while doing these, etc. My brother thinks I’m one to never tell on him, I think it’s partly because I smoke weed and am not considered a tattle tale. That being said I’ve told him numerous times that the pills and all the bullshit he’s been doing is going to kill him.
While he was on a home visit, he was trying to get me to find him pills, weed, etc. and I don’t condone it. I’ve told him that while I don’t have a problem with marijuana, I’m not going to enable his behavior. I’m a MMJ patient and everything I’ve been doing has been legal. My mom has expressed this to him and I keep it all away from him etc. He’s a sophomore in high school and that does make it illegal for him.
I expressed these concerns to my mom. I told her he was trying to find these pills and what not and she swore she wouldn’t sell me out for telling her this. After all I just want what’s best.
As soon as he got out of that facility my mom immediately told him and I’m still pretty mad about it. She lied to me and I told her I don’t want a thing to do with her. I’m out of the state and will be until February as I’m attending school. She just told me if I don’t like it move out. So that’s what I want to do, I want to go move in with my dad when I’m home until I can find residency myself. I haven’t talked to her and pretty much have ignored her since. I’m mad but I don’t know if I’m being an asshole or if I’m acting reasonably.
TIA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
qXrGWD1JhzOp7lZRPXicEAUChq5GRA4b
|
9y247o
|
{
"description": "elbowing hit a person's foot",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I elbow hit a person's foot?
|
Say, hypothetically, I am sitting on a plane, and someone has set their feet on your sides of my armchair. Let's also say I've told them not to do it, but they don't listen. WIBTA if I elbow their foot, hard?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
QPw0ADmwzXnDacs0yFoNBjLnyEgm2uNK
|
b2tql7
|
{
"description": "being a hypocrite to my (ex)friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being a hypocrite to my (ex)friend?
|
Throwaway account!
I'm sorry about the title sounding bad, but please hear me out!
I've been friends (now ex-friends) with this guy, we'll call him Dean, for about 2-3 years until it happened. We got to know each other because of a mutual friend of a common interest. He was great! We hit it off and we have a lot in common. We would play videogames together and other stuff. It came to the point where we would have inside jokes with each other and stay up all night talking about memes or what not. Well, I've been getting hints here and there that apparently Dean has a crush on me (at the time) and was a bit worried because I don't see him that way, only as a big bro (he's 5 years older than me). Some months go by and it's valentines, he confessed to me. I let him down gently and talked about how I hope to not lose him as a friend because he's fun to be around and he is like an older bro. He said sure and stayed friends for a bit or so I thought. He started to distance himself and talked less. Later he told me he couldn't handle being around me anymore. It broke my heart that I was losing a dear friend and fought for him to stay. (Selfish I know, but he was part of our friend group that I'd hate to tear apart).
Almost a year go by and I thought his feelings for me faded and things are normal again. I met my then boyfriend (ex now) at the time, and I was pretty open with him to the friend group. Dean met him and we spent time together as a group along with other friends. Though he started becoming a jerk, he's treating my ex like a threat and would always make him feel out of place. After awhile, I heard from our mutual friend that Dean told them that he plans to take himself off the group (again). I got mad at how he reacted and thought that was selfish of him to leave everyone because of how he felt towards me. He brought up several guy friends that I have whom he also met and hung out with (one of them was gay) and how I was "too close with them" and that he always feels jealous when they're around me. He told me he never got over me and that he can't deal with the situation and wanted to leave. I finally got tired and said that I won't stop him anymore so he can go if he wants to if our friendship along with everyone else meant nothing to him. He told me he's sorry and he plans to stay.
At that time I was tired of always keeping myself on his terms and decided to just just stop being friends with him. Our mutual friends understood and most of them said it's alright and it's for the best. He said he's always there for me afterwards, but I just couldn't handle that drama anymore and I haven't spoken to him since.
He's nice, kind and a fun person except for the times where he was breathing down my neck when other guys appear in my life. Though AITA for breaking off our friendship after telling him that I'd think he was a jerk for trying to do it to me and our friends?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
M1SI6975Ltf5Wl8PPsm7Rt2nxinMXWJN
|
b26hin
|
{
"description": "completely withdrawing from my group of friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for completely withdrawing from my group of friends?
|
To summarise - Over the last couple of years I've completely withdrawn from my old circle of friends, most of whom I grew up with and have mostly known each other since primary school. I work away from home, so we're all used to me being away for months at a time, but then when I come back I'd usually spend plenty of time with everyone. A couple of the lads did almost a year in prison in 2016, and I was one of the only people who'd go and visit them as regularly as I could when I was home, and since they got released I've only spent a few hours with them on one occasion.
I never made a conscious decision to stop seeing or talking to them, it just kind of happened. I stopped making any effort to keep in touch with people, to make arrangements to see people, etc... I just kind of decided I've got my own things I need to focus on. I feel guilty saying it but I actually feel so much better for it. They were never causing me any problems but I think I started to feel my energy being drained as none of them really had anything productive going on, while I'm the only one who's always had a decent career.
A couple of them have messaged me asking if I'm pissed off with them for something they don't know about, that 2 years without seeing them must mean something's obviously wrong. Not that I feel I owe any explanation but I tried to explain without offending them that I just don't have time, after spending most of my time away I've always got other, more important, things to be doing with what little time I have at home.
​
Truth be told, I just prefer my own company.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
iVh6KxrlWRbjGLzd4A89xRvIyKyZnBBt
|
anx5ae
|
{
"description": "making a reference to Fallout New Vegas on r/pics",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA? For making a reference to Fallout New Vegas on r/pics?
|
I had posted a comment on a picture on r/pics of a pet leech and as a JOKE I made a reference to the game Fallout New Vegas in witch there is a group know as the legion. The legion is based on the Roman empire in witch they had partake In putting people on crosses as a show of force and had done it to Jesus Christ causing christianity but that's off topic. and in the game the legion does the same thing as a show of force. Due to the oddity of the post I made a reference to a line of dialogue witch any legionaries can say "Degenerates like you belong on a cross" it wasn't supposed to be a mean or degrading comment only to poke fun that he had a non normal pet to the usual. I will take some blame as I did forget to add quotes. I'm not going to say sorry as I dont feel like I have to in this situation as i feel it was a misunderstanding let me repeat I dont think he belongs on a cross. AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
EKow1R5aFs8CLmAgpbA71UtWlX6pHtFi
|
al6vtz
| null |
AITA Girlfriend of 5 years recently had feelings for a guy online for 2 weeks, Am I right to say to her its hurt me deep?
|
Hi reddit,
So my girlfriend of 5 years has admitted to me tonight that she had feelings for about 2 weeks about a guy she frequently plays Call of Duty with. She told me she’s comfortable talking to him about her life problems etc and she suddenly realised how she felt and has been absolutely guilt ridden since. Couldn’t sleep for days etc.
I told her its hurt me deeply knowing after 5 years she could think about someone else like that
Am I the asshole here? I’m just not sure what I should do, I don’t know if this means her feelings arent strong for me despite her saying so and its a pretty unique situation since its through online rather than a coworker etc. She plays cod a lot with a group of guys for hours on end so its not like she barely knows him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
DAUJtWPC1acgHxdcncwpsbmN04Yo4eu6
|
ay1rhn
| null |
AITA Dog poop left in a bag
|
Saw the neighbor bag his dog poop and leave it outside, I got in my car and went to ask if he planned to pick it up, he said he did on the way home. I told him no worries, and to have a good one.
I threw away the poop, and again said to have a good one when he walked by, letting him know I threw it out.
My GF wanted me to consult reddit.
So what's the verdict reddit, am I the asshole
now for my morning coffee I missed :P
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
I5D5YzvjJDkdgC1b3thEez6wVbTjl4k5
|
b0q9ey
|
{
"description": "refusing to be alone with my youngest sister even though it pains my elderly parents",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to be alone with my youngest sister even though it pains my elderly parents?
|
So I have two sisters Evil Sis (ES) and Good Sis (GS). GS has charge of my father’s affairs. ES is very accomplished and quite pretty, like a brightly colored poisonous snake that you should never touch. She is also domineering, viciously fires off barbs about your flaws for the sake of ‘honesty’ and then cuts off further discussion. She has dragged her petite 19-year-old daughter around the house by her ponytail because she was late to dinner. After that incident I told ES that her daughter was an adult and could have her arrested for assault, to which she replied ‘I’m paying for her education, she won’t do shit.”
I deal with her crap by drinking wine instead of talking. It’s over quicker and I get a pleasant buzz. Alternatively I buy her expensive clothing or a fancy dinner so she has to shut up or seem ungrateful.
ES took over Dad’s treatment and I sided with her. She is incredibly accomplished in her field and did him a lot of good. But she arrogantly overruled GS and may be banned from Dad’s facility because GS has that power. ES nastily told GS she was a jealous and angry loser, her life wasn’t in order and GS needed to be silent and digest what she had been told and make pertinent changes in her life.
The next morning ES started in on me. I was a loser, angry and jealous and I needed be quiet and reflect on my behavior. Her life was in order, unlike mine. Perhaps I shouldn’t have laughed, but it was too early for wine. I told ES that I would stop talking when I was done. There was a 25 minute battle of wills. She insisted I shut up and I insisted she was not in control of me. I won.
As we visited Dad’s facility she started up AGAIN just before we reached his room (so I would have no opportunity to respond). I told her that if she was going to be a bitch we just wouldn’t talk, pivoted into the nearest senior restroom, and slammed the door in her face. She went away.
At lunch she lectured Dad that by indulging his little pleasures (casino) he would leave no inheritance (true). I told her ‘Shut up, ES. We aren’t getting a dime. Deal with it.’
The next day we shared Dad’s car to the airport. She drove. Yes, I know better. I told her she had alienated GS and might want to mend fences but she cut me off and said if I spoke again she would put me out of the car. I contemplated calling the police since it wasn’t even her car. Instead I put in earphones and remained silent until we arrived, then got out and left without a backward glance.
The problem? In 4 months we visit our elderly mother and Mom always arranges a shared room for us. I will never be alone with ES again. Not going to make it a big deal, just stay with my uncle instead. But I know ES will make an issue of it which will pain Mom. She is an expert at this.
Am I the Asshole? I could just suck it up. My parents won’t be around forever, but I’m only human. Unlike ES.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
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"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
9dl37Kqkyp5H99Do2YAhZT0vH2Zt9CQq
|
ah8k0c
|
{
"description": "wanting to pursue law enforcement",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to pursue law enforcement
|
I’ve never really thought about it too much until the past week. Due to an insane set of events in my house, I’ve started to work closely with the police and have been inspired to become an officer myself. Main reason is I want to be there for people and provide hope to those who otherwise can’t fix their situation. I think the world needs more officers who genuinely care rather than do it for the power trip.
My girlfriend tried to join the police academy a few months ago but was disqualified due to a few stains on her driving record. She can’t try again for 5 years.
I’m really excited about the idea. I live in a small city with a lot of problems but a lot of great people. I’m afraid to talk to her about it because she was so upset that she wasn’t able to become one. I don’t want her to think I’m throwing it in her face.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
hhXeq2PiCI4kc1pen6l9Xb8K1nsGr6tP
|
a81ibk
|
{
"description": "pouring a drink on my mates girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for pouring a drink on my mates girlfriend?
|
This happened a couple years or so ago, when I first met my mates girlfriend. The three of us were out with another mutual friend of ours, and we were all getting along well. We leave this club we're in and go to this small dinghy pub/club nearby. We chill there for a couple hours and at this point we're all pretty drunk. I get myself a fish bowl type drink that could quench the thirsts of a hundred gazelles. We're at a table and a few people join us who we don't know. I go to introduce myself, and inadvertently knock over a drink. Most goes on the floor but some goes on my mates girlfriend. I apologise and go to get some napkins. But before I do, in retaliation, she throws her drink on me, which was about a third full. Most of it hits my lap and she and my mate start laughing. So in my drunken state I feel i must retaliate further, so I pick up this fish bowl and pour the whole thing on her. This thing was so full she probably could've jumped in and swam about.
So she's fucking drenched and I'm kinda laughing. She gets up and storms outside. My friend goes out after her. I get a text asking me to come meet them outside. When I get there, they're arguing with the bouncer. The bouncer wasn't letting them back in because she was too wet. I try bargaining with the bouncer but to no avail. I looked at them, shrugged and went back inside
Don't see them the rest of the night, but it was about half 2 so most places were closing soon anyway. Get a text the next morning saying I'm a cunt for pouring a drink on her and then leaving them.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
1HIe4OfV3ttlcSJNqCXowfVc2KgcjA5r
|
9uzjzd
|
{
"description": "wanting to keep lost cash",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to keep lost cash
|
One day I was working an early shift at a Walmart. It was about 5am and time for my break. I grabbed a snack and went to the self checkout and I happened to spot two twenty dollar bills stuck between the counters.
I thought "Score!" And picked them up and showed the older woman tending the checkout area. (Probably in her 60s, I'm a guy in my late 20s) Coincedentally, I've worked with her before in a nursing home (rather small area) and always thought she was a pretty nice woman despite she clearly didn't recognize me.
I was pumped at the find and offered her the second bill saying something like "Hey, check it out! Wanna split the loot?!"
She looks totally aghast and says "Oh we can't do that! We have to turn that in!"
I say "oh...uh...okay.." and handed them to her.
I can't imagine that being the right thing to do. If it was a wallet, absolutely. Something identifiable to the person who lost it, totally. But two loose bills at 5 am? Who the hell is gonna come back trying to claim that? Is it just gonna sit in a lost and goddamn found for a month until the billion dollar company we work for claims it? Her attitude seemed ridiculous to me and she certainly made me feel guilty.
So, that was my thought process. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
4AIgggpf1t21NcjP7vX4ZgxiMcgwIQ6t
|
b3pdg1
|
{
"description": "not inviting my boyfriend to a family dinner because my ex will be there",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not inviting my boyfriend to a family dinner because my ex will be there?
|
This weekend my family is having dinner and they invited both me and my boyfriend. My brother who lives in another state will be there visiting. They also invited my ex. I have a child with him and this will be during his time. They have always really liked him. He used to work with my dad.
My boyfriend however hates him. A lot. Best case scenario if he comes it’s going to be really tense and awkward. I haven’t told my boyfriend about the dinner. I’m not sure if I’m even going to go myself, even though I would really like to be there when my brother and son get to see each other. It doesn’t happen very often and they are adorable together.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
c2Gw3TsQhWcA7l5SypqtNjlhnYxpmes8
|
avq65g
|
{
"description": "not going to my 8 am college class",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not going to my 8 AM college class?
|
Hey guys. So I take a heavy course load due to being a double major, and my schedule this semester consists of 2 biology classes, 2 chemistry classes, and an economics class.
I don’t show up to my 8 AM biology class all that often, and this is the class I’m asking about. I have an “A” in the class, I pass the tests with A’s but I feel like I might be an asshole for not showing up to lectures often. It’s a smaller classroom and our professor takes attendance (not for any reason other than to track who comes and who doesn’t). The reason I feel like I might be an asshole is because he is actually an incredible professor, very nice and he actually cares about his students and the material he is teaching. He also wrote me an incredibly strong letter of recommendation for the school I’m trying to transfer to, which made me feel even more like I might be an asshole.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
4MJXagHwFtk3OCJ77xnj2fwO27fcxgCz
|
a1o8i9
|
{
"description": "not wanting to do long-distance with my fiancée, and for wishing her mom would stop encouraging her to",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to do long-distance with my fiancée, and for wishing her mom would stop encouraging her to?
|
Backstory: She and I have been together for just over 3 years. We both graduated college 1.5 years ago. We both wanted to get out of this town immediately after graduating, but she had an opportunity to further her education just after graduation. We decided to stay for the extra year and a half, with the agreement that we would leave as soon as she finished school.
It’s finally just about time for her to graduate. I’ve been working a low-paying, dead-end “college” job for the past 3 years. I finally got a job offer in our dream city, and am incredibly excited to start. Perfect, right? Well, she’s just finishing up clinicals, and has been assisting a neurologist for the past 2 weeks. She and the neurologist apparently work well together, and he offered her a position at his surgery.
This is the field she wants to work in, and is now very conflicted. On one hand, she wants to move with me. On the other, while I have a job set up there, she doesn’t. She keeps suggesting that I should move first while she works here and gains experience. However, in the medical field, you generally don’t get hired for less than a year. I really don’t want us to have to live 8 hours apart for the next 1+ years, especially since we are supposed to be starting our lives together. Additionally, I have really bad experiences from a past long-distance relationship, and absolutely do not want to go through that again.
Her mother also keeps encouraging her to take the job and do long-distance. She’s a military wife, and has spent years apart from her husband at a time. She keeps telling my fiancée that “it’s no big deal,” even though, for me, it is.
My question is, AITA for being adamant that we don’t make our relationship long-distance?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7deNXzdKCZ8yJ0HCDz87JH8531hLNTzo
|
alabwk
|
{
"description": "accidentally letting this go on",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for accidentally letting this go on? (Long Text Below)
|
First off, using a throwaway for obvious reasons.
This is a bit of a rant, so prepare yourselves;
A few years ago, when I was a freshman in High School, I found out a girl I was friends with had a crush on me. I told her (in more words) that I wasn't ready for a relationship yet, and she seemed to understand. A little bit later, she dated someone else, but they broke up, and she kind of talked to me on and off after that, but I never really saw her. We'll call this girl "Girl A", for the story's sake. A year or two later, I met another girl, Girl B, and we also became friends, along with two other people in a kind of small "friend group". We grew as friends, but similar to Girl A, I never really hung out with her.
Fast forward to this year. I've never been to a school dance through all of middle or high school, and it's my last year of high school. I want to go to homecoming, but I want to have a date. I figure it wouldn't be a bad idea to ask Girl A to homecoming, since we're still on good terms, and I know she at least *used* to like me. I decide to talk to my closest friend who is a girl (not to be confused with a girlfriend) for advice, Girl B. Girl B talks to Girl A beforehand to find out for me if she'll say yes, and then helps me figure out how to ask Girl A to Hoco, which I do. She says yes. However, I want her to know it's as friends, so I make sure to mention that. Following Homecoming, Girl A is talking to me more and seeming to get closer to me, but I try to be clear we're just friends. All of the sudden and out of nowhere, a member of the friend group with Girl B in it reveals to me that Girl B was sad I didn't ask her to homecoming, because she has a massive crush on me. I'm flattered, but when I talk to Girl B about it, I give her a similar "I'm not sure how to feel about it" response.
Now comes the really complicated part.
I go through a pretty hard bought of depression, and Girl B is super nice and helpful, and comforts me throughout. I grow closer to her, and we become semi-official "boyfriend & girlfriend". Of course, being the loser that I am, I tell people that I now have a girlfriend to feel better about myself (Girl B doesn't mind, she thinks it's cute). At the same time, I begin to realize Girl A still has a crush on me, and a dilemma strikes when they both ask me to hang out on the same day. Being the completely rational and intelligent person I am (sarcasm), rather than dealing with it, I decide to tell both I am busy, and go to park by myself instead. Obviously, I need to deal with this, but I don't, because I'm very shy and antisocial about it, and I don't know what to say. However, today, I mentioned to someone from my homecoming group that I had a girlfriend. From what I can tell, she went and told Girl A, who really likes me at this point, but I was stupid to let it go on like that, and now Girl A has left the long-lasting homecoming group chat saying she "doesn't belong there" and it was "a mistake to join". Obviously this is scary and freaks me out, since she's still my friend, but she's not responding to anyone, from texts or calls.
I finally got over most of my depression and a ton of drama recently after most of my closest friends left me suddenly & without warning for a different friend group entirely. Girl B helped me through that. Now, I'm worried about this. I really don't want to fall back into that rut, and I really, really hate drama like this, but I don't know what to do. I'm also especially worried about Girl A, because I'm afraid she might A. Hate me for this, B. Do something bad to herself, or C. Create more drama around me in some way. But I don't know what to do, and I never see her, so I can't confront her about it. It's 11 pm and I'm kind of freaking out about it, I just wish High School would hurry up and end and I could leave all this drama and messiness behind, but it just seems to follow me wherever I go.
So the question is; am I the asshole for letting this go on? I know I should've said something, but is it my fault that this is happening?
Tl;dr: I took a girl who used to have a crush on me to homecoming, then found out a different girl liked me. I started going out with her, but the girl I took to homecoming didn't know, still likes me, and completely isolated herself when she found out today that I was dating someone.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
aEm9dEC8PNUhxmWZVC58Uetz1FkPYCGx
|
avv88r
| null |
AITA- My parents think I'm at fault for melting down?
|
Soooo, this is going to be a long one.
The title is not very specific, I know. Also, English is not my native language, so please excuse any grammatical mistakes that may occur. Some information about me: I'm a 16 year old girl who is currently being tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder.
The story began yesterday afternoon. I was sitting at the dinner table with my parents and we were just talking about regular stuff. Then my mother started "joking" about something that happened when I was a child, maybe ten years old. I didn't do my homework several times and one day while I was on the swing, the darn thing just ripped and I flew through the air and landed quite painfully. I ended up with a busted lip and I was basically traumatized. My mother told me after the fact that that was the moment she knew God existed. I didn't like that statement at all. About two years ago she told some family members the story, including her stupid epiphany, which she is weirdly proud of, and I had a meltdown back then too. But we managed to talk it out and I thought we were done with this story. And yesterday at the kitchen table she brought it up again, and talked about it with that same sadistically gleeful tone she used all those years ago. I felt so betrayed, because she told me she'd not bring it up again. Maybe she forgot about it.
I slammed my glass on the table and ran out of the room slamming the door loudly. I went up to my room and started crying out of frustration. About half an hour later my parents called me down for dinner, but I didn't want to. I just felt too humiliated. After dinner my mother came into my room and started asking what's wrong with me. I only said that I didn't want to see her and that we had this exact same conversation two years ago. She said she wouldn't leave until I told her what was wrong. I was so overwhelmed with the situation that I covered my ears and repeatedly yelled at her to just get out, but she stubbornly stayed. After a while of me covering my ears and ugly crying she told me to clean my room and finally left, taking my phone with her. I spent the rest of the evening crying and scratching my arms open out of frustration and grief. Now it's the day after and my mother told me to start acting normal again, or else she would cancel my flight to the US. But I can't really act "normal" when she is putting all the blame on me. She says I can't just act that way, and that I'm being overdramatic, but I can't really help it and she won't admit that SHE provoked my meltdown by bringing up that sensitive topic again.
​
Btw., I mostly have a pretty good relationship with my parents and I can tell that they're just as frustrated with my behavior as I am with theirs. But am I the asshole in this specific case like my mother wants me to believe?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "sharing a subscribe to pewdiepie message with my fellow students",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
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|
AITA for sharing a subscribe to pewdiepie message with my fellow students
|
This was back when the whole sub to pewdiepie thing was in full swing, and a buddy from boy scouts who was also in the same school district sent me a google doc over gmail with the title subscribe to pewdiepie on it. All it said was sub to pewdiepie, don’t let t-series win, share this with your friends. I sent it to about 10-15 people in my school and I don’t know how, but the school administration picked up on it. They banned me from using school computers for 2 weeks, said they where letting my mom know that I was watching “offensive content” on YouTube, and told me I was in trouble for sharing racist and offensive content during school and “inappropriately using school materials”
So reddit, am I the asshole for sharing that document?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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a0saxd
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{
"description": "selling a car I got for a good price a few months after I got it",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA if I sell a car I got for a good price a few months after I got it?
|
So my girlfriend's dad sold me his car. He gave me a good deal on it and I needed a car at the time so I took it. It's an impala and it's just a huge car. I wish I had something smaller especially since I park in parking garages and in the city sometimes so I was thinking about selling it. I got it for $6000 and it's worth around $7500-$8000. WIBTA if I sold it and got a different car? How long is enough time to wait before getting a new car?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "trying to force my ex-wife to get an abortion",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 8
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|
AITA for trying to force my ex-wife to get an abortion?
|
For simplicity ex-wife name is Janet and she is 7 months pregnant.
Janet and I divorced couple months back while she was pregnant. Janet is "still" addicted to drinking day in and day out. When we found out she was pregnant I begged her to stop as it would harm the baby and would cause extreme disorders and addiction for the baby if it is born. It is already far enough into the abortion where the doctor said the baby will have a brain damage and physical disorders.
We had found out she had a baby and now she wants to keep the baby and keep drinking regardless of the damage it will do to the baby's life. The year before her sister had aborted her baby as a way of getting revenge on her husband when they were pregnant and were going through a fight.
Her sister is extremely pro-choice and thinks that the women should have the say in if the baby should be born or not. I am 100% sure she brainwashed Janet that she should do whatever she wants with the baby and Janet decided she will keep it (because she knows how much it will hurt me). When we had went to counseling she spewed out things saying it was her body, her choice and she could keep drinking as much as she wanted. On top of this Janet kept referring to the baby as a fetus as if she had no concern for its life and it is just a part of her body like a toe and would chop it of for some more cash.
I am extremely depressed right now my mom just died end of last year and now Janet is ruining my future. I don't want a baby born who is brain dead and filled with disorders (it is not a life I would want to live neither would anyone else) and I will have to pay alimony in order for her to live without working using the baby as a tool.
​
I know I will get a lot of crap for saying that I should have a say in the baby's future too and I should have a say in whether we should have an abortion.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "being mad at my ex roommate",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my ex roommate
|
Context: we were friends for about a decade, from childhood til about a few months ago. We had always been close, working same jobs, hanging out a lot etc, but some months ago he asked me to move in with him because his previous roommate was bad at paying rent on time and just generally didn’t contribute to the house. I said no, I had reservations; he is bisexual, and had a thing for me. But he kept asking over time, pretty much coming to the point where he was begging me to move in because he wasn’t sure how long he would be able to pay the rent alone. So I finally agree. I made sure he left any idea of being ‘together’ at the door, as I am heterosexual, and he was on board. I moved in and everything went smoothly for a bit. Fast forward a little, we’ve been there a few months, and he says he needs to talk to me, so I sit down with him and we start talking and he hits me with the “I was offered a job in a different city” line. Immediately I start stressing, texting everyone I know looking for another living arrangement for myself and my pet without a second thought. He tells me I have a little under two weeks to figure something out.
Now let me clarify that I’m not mad he got a better job and left, I’m angry that I had a great place before he begged me to move in, I move in, pretty much immediately get kicked out, and then I’m the one up shits creek because he already has his plans all laid out. He was apologizing profusely but I didn’t really want to hear any of it, so over the next week I packed all my shit up into my truck, and while he was at work, I left, leaving the key to the place on the counter. I am currently living on a couch. I had to leave my car with my mother for about two months (the longest I had ever been without him) until I figured something out. I’m fortunate to even have the couch I do now. This happened a few months back and Im just now getting back on my feet fully. Anyway, we shared a lot of coworkers, and now a few of them are acting like they don’t understand my frustration, saying I shouldn’t have stopped talking to him, etc. he still comes into the place I work from time to time and tries to talk to me but I usually just ignore him.
TLDR; friend begs me to move in with him, I take a leap of faith and agree, he moves out a couple weeks later with no option for me to stay. AITA for cutting contact?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not wanting to meet my girlfriends ex",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to meet my girlfriends ex
|
Here’s the scoop. My girlfriend went out with a guy a few years ago for about 9/10 months. In her words “they realised they just worked better as friends”. It ended up them becoming ‘best friends’ and have been on holidays and spent a lot of time together since.
She made me aware of this early on and I didn’t have an issue with it whatsoever. She hasn’t given me a reason not to trust her so why shouldn’t I?
She’s suggested this weekend that we all meet and go for lunch, I feel pretty uncomfortable with it as in my head a meal out with your gf and her ex is just odd. Even if they were together a long time ago.
She’s pretty annoyed and keeps having a go so of course I turned to reddit for help!
Tldr: Girlfriend wants me to go for lunch with her ex now turned best friend
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "telling my friend's girlfriend that he has been cheating on her",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my friend's girlfriend that he has been cheating on her?
|
Despite the fact that this happened several years ago now, I still feel like an asshole because of all of the drama that ensued from this event.
So. I was out drinking with a friend. Let's call him M. M divulged that he had cheated on his girlfriend a few times with someone who lives in his hometown while he was visiting his parents. He likes exploring different partners, but he wants to someday get married to C, his girlfriend. He stressed to me that I shouldn't tell C.
A few weeks later, I was talking about this occurrence to my friend who I'll refer to as 'S.' I was asking S his opinion on whether or not I should tell C. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have told anyone better yet S, but C has mentioned being rather unhappy with C. After years of being mistreated by M and feeling fed up with his crap myself, I thought maybe C needed to know. However, S told me to leave it alone. I thought it was all done and thought nothing more of it.
Later that week, we were all at a party together- me, C, M, and S, and some other friends. S begins to hit on C. It seemed casual and in somewhat good fun, so I didn't think too much of it. At some point, I got too drunk, so I went to go take a nap. While I was napping, S sloppily confessed his romantic interest to C and then told everyone at this party that I told him what M said to me that night. He wanted to 'save' C from M.
The night ended with C breaking up with M (to be expected). As a result, M and I are not friends anymore (which was also be expected and frankly, I'm fine with), and I don't really talk to C or S anymore either. However, I lost almost all of my old friends who hang out with M, as they all blame me for splitting the two of them up.
AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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at2pmn
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{
"description": "talking shit about my dad behind his back for giving off to me over nothing",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for talking shit about my dad behind his back for giving off to me over nothing?
|
My school friend is being a real dickbag lately for no reason and I told another friend what I think about it.
When I told my dad, he flipped his shit. He was grilling me on how to be careful because it’s gonna escalate into a fight and he doesn’t want me getting expelled (my school are very serious on that)
So I went upstairs, invited my friends (who just left) to a party and went to go get a snack. Then he calls me in, tells me to sit down and basically reiterates the same thing previous but in a more stern tone. Then he starts going off rambling saying how my attitude to schoolwork isn’t what it used to be (he hugged and praised me for the grades on my report card not only a week ago as I’m a straight A student) and started to say stuff like “if you want to quit after your exams and go get a deadend job, living under our roof you will be paying rent and I don’t give a fuck, go right ahead. It would give me much less trouble and stress”
He used to help me revise a lot a couple years ago, but now I majorly do it all myself. It’s not like my path in school is putting a strain on his physical well-being, he just gives off a lot for no reason.
I eventually get away after just under an hour and when I go upstairs I vent to my friend about the absolute bullshit waste of time and how everything he said could’ve been summed up in 3 sentences, not 3 full essays vented slowly and sternly. I also said I’m sick of being told about my attitude and heavy-breathing and to watch it, and that I’m sick of everything revolving around school. The other main thing was I kept blurting out “50 minutes” and how I couldn’t even talk that long.
He opens the fucking door, looks me dead in the eyes and goes “that’s enough slandering me.” And shuts the door.
He seemed so disappointed and in such a mixture of anger and sadness I’ve never seen him like that.
I went downstairs to my mum and she told me I was very very loud and he was standing in the hall listening to me. He came down and basically said he’s “very disappointed in me”, I’m apparently “unloyal” because he would never “rip the arse out of me” behind my back to his friends etc.
He said he was finished and that from now on he’ll pass himself with me but he won’t give me anymore “pep talks”
My friends say I’m not the asshole but if he’s so severely disappointed in me for “slandering him” behind his back, who do I believe? AITA?
TL:DR Dad gave off to me for an hour, I vented about how he wasted my time to my friend, he heard everything and called me an unloyal disappontment for going behind his back. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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| null |
WIBTA? Ruined a Group Project
|
First of all, Don't really know if this belongs here but I need to know if this is my fault. Here goes, I am in a group with 3 other people. We are making a poster board about Canada for our schools multicultural night. We really wanted to stand out so we decided to make a silhouette of the parliament building to sit on top of our trifold. The other girl is an amazing artist so of course we choose her to do it. She spent 3 class periods tracing it onto a piece of cardboard using a projection on a smart board. It was really finicky and kept timing her out. Basically took her forever. We finally got it mostly cut out. We cut guidelines but did not completely cut it out. We had extra time to work on it so I took it outside to spray paint it black, thinking I was being helpful. So I left the cardboard out to dry and someone though it was scrap. They tore it in half to use as a blocker for their cardboard, basically trying to use ours to stop paint from getting on a part of theirs. They ended up apologizing and were nice about it, saying it was an accident. I have to tell my group on Monday and wanted to know if it was my fault and how I should break the news to them.
TL;DR: Spent a ton of time working on a project, it got ripped up when someone thought it was scrap cardboard.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "telling a girl I barely know she's a psychopath",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
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|
AITA for telling a girl i barely know she's A psychopath?
|
I met this girl 10 days ago in the hostel I'm staying at. She directly acted like she was very into me, over the next few days she kept messaging me, wanted to hangout together all the time, hugging me, kissing me on the cheek, the kind of physical proximity you do not show to a total stranger for no reason.
It was going way too fast, I suspected something was wrong here. I know some girls are gonna act like this with every guys because they like the attention and feeling desired. I didn't try anything with her, decided to wait and see.
We were having drinks at the bar with other friends and she left after one beer because she didn't wanted to get drunk or party
She came back at the hostel, other dudes invited her to go clubbing, she took mdma an made out with one of them. I found out the next day and was not even mad, more like " I fucking knew something was off". The problem is that she somehow wanted to talk to me about it ( I didn't ask her nothing, she initiated it).
She told me she didn't call me to go clubbing with her that night because she knew what was gonna happen with that guy and she was sorry. That pissed me off a bit. She knew exactly how she was acting with me and how it made me develop an attraction for her, and now I had the impression to get rejected without even making the first step! A bit like " you didn't try anything but if you did you wouldn't have succeeded". Wtf?
I told her we were cool. She proceeded to start hugging me and kissing again. I rejected her, saying it wasn't an appropriate behaviour, that playing with boys feeling is wrong, and to leave me alone.
Two days later she messaged me again, telling me she found a place nearby looking for staff (she knows I'm looking for a job), and she wanted me to come visit a sharehouse with her. She was very helpful and apparently wanted to apologize by helping me. She kept saying things like "can we please be friends again?". Keep it mind I know this person for less than a week.
I eventually saw her today, went to say hi, asked about the flat viewing tomorrow, then said goodbye and went on with my job hunt. 5 minutes later I receive a page long message from her, accusing me of being too cold with her, not friendly enough, that usually only friends are moving in together, that she regrets telling me about the flat, and some other crazy shit. I was speechless. I went back to her and was like what the actual fuck is this? I told her that she was completely insane, that we barely know each other and she send me fucked up messages as if she was my crazy jealous ex girlfriend. I told her she had a very weird obsession with being my friend and I'm not okay with it. I called her a psychopath and told her to leave me alone and stop talking to me or messaging me. We were in the street, some People were looking at us, she was embarrassed.
Am I being the asshole here or did I just made sure to keep a psychopathic stranger out of my life?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "scolding my mother for being so messy",
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"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for scolding my mother for being so messy?
|
A bit of backstory, I live with my mother full-time now, because she has a neurological condition that affects her motor skills and vision, among other things. Due to this, doing basic tasks, such as eating, can be a challenge for her. When I leave for work in the evening, I leave a plate of food for her on the table to eat around dinner time. Typically I arrive home to a mess on and around the table, which I don't mind.
The problem is, a few nights ago she brought a slice of coconut cake in a take-out box from a restaurant. She left it on the table for ease of access I assume, and when I came home I found the usual mess along with a half-eaten slice and crumbs everywhere. So, assuming she was done with it, I cleared the table and threw the rest of the cake away. The following morning she actually became frustrated with me that I tossed the cake and we got into a nasty back and forth. She could of simply put it in the fridge or microwave. On top of that, I've been spotting small roaches in the kitchen late at night so I've been trying to keep it as clean as possible, especially overnight. She knows this, but maintains that I still should of at least asked her about it first.
As I said, I understand that she makes a bit of a mess when she eats, but I draw the line at purposely leaving food out. I don't feel that I need to check with her for every piece of food that may or may not go in the trash.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "thinking bad about my friend for talking with my boyfriend and talking to him all through 6th period",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA after thinking bad about my friend for talking with my boyfriend and talking to him all through 6th period?
|
My friend (who I’ll call Yuri bc that’s her nickname) was talking to my boyfriend (who’ll I’ll call mc) and did a list of things
1. She did the stupid “which one tickles the most” thing on his hand
2. Various “magic” tricks
3. Arm wrestle (probably an excuse to hold his hand)
And this one took the cake
4. Laid on his arm.
I was mad after this obviously. Her boyfriend left because he was sick and she does this.
But oooh this isn’t all
In 5th period, she was sitting in between her boyfriend and mc
And I looked over once and there she was, putting her arm over him and barely thinking about me.
I was furious.
I know that she self harms and I feel bad about that but, after this encounter... I feel like I fueled it more
Yuri: Hey Monika (my nickname bc we call eachother the ddlc characters)
I barely made eye contact
Me: yeah?
Yuri: are you mad at me
Me: no I’m fine
Yuri: are you sure you look pretty mad
Me mumbling: well yeah kinda
Yuri: why?
Me: nothing.
Yuri: just tell me I promise to not be mad.
Me: well...all throughout the middle of 6th period, all you did was lay your head on Mc
Yuri turns around and leaves.
So much for not being mad
I walk over to her on the bench because we had to wait there for 7th period band bus.
Yuri: I promise I wasn’t! I was doing magic tricks!
Me: mmhm sure. That doesn’t explain you laying your head on his arm.
Yuri: I wasn’t!
I was just like “yeah sure.”
I wanna be her friend but... part of me can’t wait til she gets homeschooled.
I have so many mixed emotions about her.
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "wanting to break up with my 'girlfriend' and start seeing other people",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for wanting to break up with my ‘girlfriend’ and start seeing other people?
|
I know it looks bad that I put the word girlfriend in quotation marks but bear with me for a second. My ‘girlfriend’ and I have only been together for a few months and unfortunately I think it was a few months too many.
We met over the fact we both shared an interest of writing stories with fictional
characters on Tumblr. Someone, who is no longer on the site, invited me to join a Skype group. Same thing would occur there but just on a different platform. I was excited since that would be a new group of people to interact with so I gladly accepted. Boy did I make a mistake.
At first all went well. I met some new people, shared ideas for future stories and etc. There were a couple times someone had to leave due to the way they acted or they just simply left because they got bored or busy. In just a year there were only three people left; Myself, Someone we will call C and my ‘girlfriend’ who we will call L.
During the course of that year I informed L, who I wasn’t dating just yet, that my dog had unexpected puppies and one still needed a home. I jokingly asked her if she wanted it even though it would take a 12 hour drive to get here. Without missing a beat she said yes so I promised to save her the remaining puppy.
She made the drive up here a month after that conversation and we had dinner at a local steakhouse not too far from the hotel she was staying at. I spent about an hour with her to help collect some things for the puppy after the dinner before she had to go back to the hotel with it. It was getting late so after the little shopping trip she had to go to the hotel to sleep so she would be able to make the trip home. As soon as L got home safely, she shot me a message saying so and I just responded with something like ‘Glad you made it home okay, enjoy your new puppy!’
Time rolled on and things were working out fine. L loved her new puppy and sent me pics of it playing with her other dog who was about the same small size. I was just happy that she was and that her first dog had a little playmate. Fast forward to just a week and that’s when things started to move downhill. Not only did L have a dog before the puppy, she also had rats. The new puppy, being a type terrier, was not fond of them like her other dog. She had to re-home them as a result. I felt bad and apologized but she said it was no big deal so I dropped the subject.
Now let’s move forward a lot more, like all the way to last year in November. I found out she had a liking towards me and I’ll be honest, I really liked her as well. We shared a lot of the same interests and thought it was neat both of us had quite a few things in common. Being asexual was one of them; this will be important later.
I asked her out and she said yes, so of course I was looking forward to being in a relationship with her for a long time. Nothing was really different though, there was no part of the relationship that defined it as a girlfriend boyfriend type of ordeal. It sorta just felt like a deeper friendship.
Just a month ago I realized I wasn’t asexual at all, and that my ex just made me feel that way since he was a borderline creep about things related to sex (which we never did, thank god I dodged that bullet). I haven’t said anything to her because I really care about her, and I told myself that living without sex really wasn’t a big deal. Not having it wasn’t going to kill me in the end.
Go back to a few weeks ago, she informed me that her landlord of her apartment told her she couldn’t have the now full grown puppy because he never stops barking and there were many complaints. She was in tears when she told me this so I stupidly told her to bring it back and she did just last week. She left about two days ago and this dog is a real thorn in my side. My family already has too many dogs to take care of in the first place, and he doesn’t get along with most of them. He’s not house trained and looks at my ferret like she’s his new chew toy. She told me yesterday she couldn’t take him back after all so my mom looks at it like ‘great, we have ANOTHER dog.’
Now I feel stuck. I like this girl but the lack of just something like handholding, innocent cheek kisses and snuggling when she was here when it was just us became another thorn in my side. The dog seemed to be my breaking point, I haven’t had any sleep ever since he was dumped off on us and my only hopes for sleep is my job that is all week at my sister’s. I’m a babysitter/kinda a nanny so I only come home on the weekends. So honestly, it’s not fair to my mom either since she cares for the dogs before work and after while I’m gone all week.
I want to tell L how I truly feel about all of this but knowing her past with previous partners kinda makes me feel bad that I’ll be just become another name on her break up list.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
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