id
stringlengths 32
32
| post_id
stringlengths 6
6
| action
dict | title
stringlengths 4
300
| text
stringlengths 0
10.8k
| post_type
stringclasses 2
values | label_scores
dict | label
stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores
dict | binarized_label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
60wxrmP1w6foNPUx0g6HsSYvjgX4dw3d
|
b7js1k
| null |
AITA?? Adult son doesn’t make time for Dad
|
Throw away account, because both son and hubby are on Reddit.
It’s coming up to my husband’s milestone 50th birthday. Most men in his family have not lived past 51-69. He’s hyper aware that ( fact or not ) he may not live another decade.
Our (young) adult son lives 3.5 hours away. He works 2 jobs. I’ve been planning a big surprise party for my husband.
Our son has told me today that he’ll try to get the day off, despite knowing since September, when the party will be next month. He’s known since last September.
I’ve told him that it’s important, and he’d telling me that I’m guilting him, and he works, so stop being a nag. He’s telling me that life “doesn’t work that way” and I’m not sure if it’s my fierce loyalty to my husband that’s making me so angry, if it’s just a reality, or if my young adult son is acting like a selfish jerk.
My husband’s dad died a few years ago; he’s dealt with a lot of guilt from not reaching out more. I’m not sure if my anger at my son is because he’ll so easily dismiss his dad’s birthday ( and celebrate an incredible dad/husband/friend) or because I know one day he’ll regret not taking the time to be prioritize his family.
Your perspective??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
UldWqaFfJjaeAsCynBqgDcBykl70lmMb
|
b85v0c
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay for my gf's gym initiation fee",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA - for not wanting to pay for my gf's gym initiation fee.
|
I've been spitballing the idea of going to a gym for a few months now and after a recent checkup I decided to finally go for it to try and lose some weight. The gym I had in mind has a pool, included classes, is close to me, and a few of my friends go there already. The downside is a $100 fee upfront and $25/month membership.
I put out a feeler to see if my gf (just over a year dating) would like to go by first asking what she pays now for her gym, that she has stopped going to for the most part due to a creepy trainer and lack of time. I figured if the prices were comparable maybe she'd want to switch over since the times are roughly the same. She currently pays $15/month. This led to a minor fight about why I want to go to that gym and why I want to go to this other gym. I was content with not working out together (we worked out together just 1 time), but she pressed the issue and seemed to ignore my reasons for wanting to go to this other gym (pool, its closer to me, already have friends going), and then said she'd only go if I paid her initial fee cost. Her gym is also within walking distance from her apartment so I understand her desire to not switch to a gym that requires her to drive.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
FostTDHfo0BVudyV3EbWpY9JD8tmmmK2
|
ahw4rb
|
{
"description": "not wanting to do chores anymore because my so is never satisfied",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to do chores anymore because my SO is never satisfied?
|
Not much context needed I guess.
She'll make a list of things to do, I'll do everything on it. She'll go off because it's not good enough in her eyes, essentially always redoing the chores I already did and then being mad/ignoring me the rest of the night.
Told her I wouldn't do jack anymore since she'll get mad either way: wether I do chores or not.
I am aware that I can be sloppy, I just don't value cleanliness in the same neurotic way she does.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZD8C1st4PNeuMqvkhj997CEaraU2zHLC
|
b931r8
|
{
"description": "doing caricatures of my friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for doing caricatures of my friends
|
*TL;DR at the end*
So I’m a 20 y/o student, and since last year I made like 4 friends and we always hang out with each other at uni. But this years things began to shift in my perception of two of my friends which I love dearly but I’m kinda fed up with their attitude.
**\\for context\\**
It all began when I was taken with one of the other friend from the group (let’s call him Jay) to go abroad together for a semester which made us happy. However, I was really sad for my friends who were not chosen. I try to be as supportive as I can be, and I told them about other way to go study abroad etc. but they always made commentaries about me and J going there and being annoying about the whole thing, when I feel like we never were bragging about it and we were just excited to live together and have the other guys around for holidays if they wanted to come which they never actually seemed to take that as a real proposition.
**\\the event leading to this post\\**
I acknowledge my sense of humour might not me the finest of the finest not the lightest, but if I am going too far I will apologise since I don’t like conflict, even when I’m not in the wrong. Few days ago, 3 of us go to a free classroom to work and as we procrastinate I draw funny portraits of us on the blackboard, I draw all my present friends and Jay and I laugh a lot at our deformed facial features. But Tina and Harry do not laugh, so we just stop and go back to work. I did not though much about the caricatures, in the group we often do offensive jokes at each other on various things, I never took those too serious. Mind you, this morning Ouna (who was not there for the caricatures) came to me and said I should stop with the jokes about the physic (which I only do to Jay as he is the least sensitive about it). I was kinda shocked at first, like it’s caricatures, not criticism about all the thing they did wrong in their life. I just said “well okay now I know” and just avoided her for the rest of the day.
In the evening I send Ouna and Tina a message saying that I apologise for the jokes, and I never meant to upset them. That I do those out of fun, to take our body image less seriously and be less complexed. Which is true, it always was a way of body acceptance for me. Ouna responded saying “okay but we should talk about those matters in real life”. I’m just shocked, how far can she go about those caricatures… It was obviously just some childish drawings, I apologised and don’t know what she wants to say more.
I want to know if I’m in the wrong here, to know what to say tomorrow when we will “talk in real life”. I don’t plan on apologising again as I feel like I did enough for such a unimportant thing. Should I avoid Ouna and Tina from now on as I’m getting tired of their attitude.
*TL;DR : I did caricatures of my friends (who all say quite offensive jokes), one of them is offended, sends my other friend to confront me. I apologise on messenger but they say we should talk in real life.*
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UQYZ6w3QLCfLZdInoWWcMOdXvXn1DOPZ
|
a9wqod
|
{
"description": "going out for drinks with friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for going out for drinks with friends?
|
My mom has been in AA for 10 years and my brother and I know that she has always been sensitive to us drinking.
I am in second year uni so I have been away from home, and have completely distance myself from my family (I consider my partner and people who live in the town that I go to school in my family).
My family has had years of disputes and arguments and honestly I spent the past year and a half reveling in how lucky I am to not be away from my family.
Coming home for Christmas, I suffered terrible anxiety and depression for even coming back home and playing the part of "good daughter" for my family.
Tonight I was going to go for coffee with my friend, and then planned on going home and see my mother (who has already been upset that I stayed the first five nights home with my dad, and am spending the last five nights with my mom).
When I was out, my friend mentioned that a bunch of our highschool friends were going out for beers. I texted my mom and told her that I was going to be out, but not that late, and would be home around 10. I got home at 10:10.
I had some drinks, but enough to feel comfortable to see my mother when I got home.
Once she opened the door she became immediately hostile. I went upstairs to pee, and went back downstairs to talk about how fun my night was seeing people I HAVEN'T SEEN IN TWO YEARS.
She immediately started with "so obviously, you plan was to go get drunk the minute you made plans with [said friend who I went for coffee with]"? I told her no, and that I found it unfair that she refused to talk to me. She claimed that I "wreaked of booze, [and she] didn't want to talk to me" when I had 4 beers and came home on curfew. (Pretty early curfew for legal drinking age!!!)
Am I the asshole for wanting to spend time with friends and drinking alcohol even though she is sober and I never promised to live a sober life?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
YqCq8boCRkj064WROCjyRqzrC3wOX18R
|
9yaoev
|
{
"description": "taking money from my brothers PayPal? please read",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for taking money from my brothers PayPal? Please read.
|
I’ve loaned my brother about $400.00 in total over the last 6 months. He’s only paid back $200.00 of it and he’s never paid me when he said he would, but somehow can afford to eat out 3x a week and buy a new PS4 through Rent-A-Center.
The other day, he left his laptop at my house because he had to run to town for a minute. I opened it, and realized that his PayPal was open on it so I transferred myself $200.00 off of his PayPal account. When he found out, he got very angry and is requesting the money back. PayPal will not reverse the transaction for him because he’s sent me money before and they don’t see that it was a “fraudulent” transaction.
AITA? I’m not refunding it. The way I look at it, he borrowed money and stiffed me on the payment so I got it anyways.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
BmRV3ZDGh5KS8dLtDRrg6K3bir3ITiKC
|
agsk8j
|
{
"description": "wanting to bail on my grandpa's 98th birthday lunch because I have morning sickness",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting to bail on my grandpa’s 98th birthday lunch because I have morning sickness?
|
This happened yesterday. I haven’t been sleeping well lately and my toddler was going back to daycare for the first time in over a week so I’d finally be able to get some shit done and have a much needed nap.
Yes I was planning on skipping lunch with grandpa and my family but I was planning on spending time with him once I picked up my daughter that afternoon.
My older sister ripped into me basically saying the everyone’s been pregnant before and that I’m not special, that I needed to suck it up princess and stop being selfish. I was blind with rage at her after that message and felt completely guilt tripped into going, but I did because she fully bullied me in to it. I spent the entire lunch ignoring her and on the verge of tears (most die to tiredness and preggo hormones)
I hate having angry energy with people so I text her this morning apologize for calling her an asshole and a cunt (remember my blind rage) and I told her that she has Jon right to force me into doing things I don’t want to as she is my older sister not my mum.
She replied saying that she completely disagrees with me and she stands by everything she said and did.
Am I the asshole here or is she?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
8JZzxUxGgkPavv1aSPE6X2s5E2hzoMcm
|
a7p6p4
|
{
"description": "refusing to go out with gf even though she would have paid",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing to go out with gf even though she would have paid?
|
She was working yesterday and her parents left her a generous tip because they didnt have to pay for one thing, so they gave it as tip to my gf.
She called on her way home if I wanted to go out and I said I would think about it till she got home and I could already tell that she was kinda disappointed by that.
So she got home and I told her that I rather didnt wanna go out.
The rest of the evening we didnt say a word to each other, but when I asked her if everything was fine, she said yes and ob the question why she wasnt talking to me she simply said that she just didnt have anything to tell me to zalk about at that time, which to me seemed strange just because how would have gone going out have changed that? Would we have been sitting there silently eating things and then go home sleeping?
To be fair, we dont go out often and I think she just really wanted to go out again but just wanted to be sure that I enjoyed going out and I think I just wouldnt have enjoyed it because I just had so much to eat at lunch and I wasnt feeling too well as well.
She didnt sleep with her back to me or anything so I thought, tomorrow (which is today) its not going to be an issue anymore.
Well I sent her a random heart just to see what she will reply and she said that she is going to be out with two of her friends, without anything about the heart (usually its just a heart as answer)
I really just want to know if I am in the wrong or what else.
If anything is unclear since my way of writing seems pretty confusing to me I‘ll try to answer anything that comes up
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
mK657FB0AW9lPdTuMIEKtdAMiiNT71oo
|
a51ygl
|
{
"description": "calling out someone for claiming to be gay despite them pursuing relationships with the opposite sex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for calling out someone for claiming to be gay despite them pursuing relationships with the opposite sex?
|
I'm going to cut this looooooong story incredibly short. A woman asked me on a date, we slept together multiple times. We ended up staying friends for a time, and she talked about her love for a male friend. She regularly sleeps with men, and openly pursues them.
She claims to our mutual friends and to anyone she can that she's a lesbian. She's got a bit of a flair for the dramatics (as do I, probably more so, admittedly) and I feel like this is to get her attention. She brags that she has an IUD so that she can "have as much sex as she wants," and tells pretty much anyone she can this very fact.
I've called her out on this whole thing and she got upset. I'm starting to feel insensitive, and that I appear homophobic, but I am not at all homophobic and just have trouble wrapping my mind around why someone would claim to be gay and then flaunt heterosexuality in front of people while getting upset when they were called out on it.
Am I the Asshole for calling this person out on claiming to be gay when they very much are not?
Full disclosure: she has some personality disorder issues, as do I, and I feel like this is a major part of the entire situation.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
AHFE1rjZVcfsN6InJr4yLkyhQS5JYr5D
|
am5462
| null |
Aita- extra curricular
|
This is a rewrite since my first one had tmi. I have been diagnosed with depression and low functioning anxiety but this was after me, yes I will admit, overbooking myself. From many outside opinions- adult and kids- they(show choir) are very, very intense and adamant about winning and having it be your number one priority. And that conflicted with me being apart of varsity bowling. In bowling they are family, we all love each other there no matter what. I didn't find this love in the show choir besides my close friend group. The teacher was very forceful and schuedel demanding sometimes this conflicted with bowling. For example adding a comp the night of with having us to get ready in two hours then be back at the school. They would also make fun of band and bowling- things I love and were overall not the kindest of people. Due to this i missed some practices and I was beginning to feel a strong toll on my mental health as well as academics- three f's. I decided to quit a few months before it ended and I feel bad like I hurt them and that I will lose my friends in the show choir that I care about. I did like bits of show choir but it was overshadowed by the pain. What do you think I should have done differently? Should I try and reconcile?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
DzMzC2lyDZNe19BYb0goYEiGQEYewoQp
|
b353td
|
{
"description": "being upset/taking action with friend who stole my f packages that I sent to her house",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset/taking action with friend (f16) who stole my f(17) packages that i sent to her house.
|
hey guys, I'll make this as short as possible. My parents are weird about me sending stuff via. mail sometimes, so i asked my very close friend if it was okay to send it to hers. we're with eachother most of the school day, and we're in the same grade. note that she is one month pregnant, and her parents (father & step mom) are ok with this. me and her mom even talk sometimes (: we've done this a couple times before too. she also doesn't have a phone.
two packages came over the weekend. cbd gummies and a bottle of similar stuff. not drugs. we talked about this on friday. today, she said her aunt stole them. I'm like, oh, what the fuck? i paid for that? and she's like yeah haha crazy.
her step mom messages me about the packages and i reply saying they were stolen by her aunt. the step mom is confused and sends a photo saying her father took the gummies away because she was BRAGGING to her friends about having edibles. edibles... they're cbd! and they were open so i said it's okay to just throw them away. she said she found the bottle, too, but it was open. i told her i don't want her or the father to repay me (the friend has no job or permit/licence), but she said she'd meet with me to sometime anyways and i showed her the receipts of it all.
i actually met with the friend and asked her while she stole my stuff, and she just calmly replied 'i didn't' & 'I'm pregnant anyways, why would i do that stuff?'
I'm talking to her again tomorrow and not sure of what all to say. aita for being upset even though it was sent to her house? it's all about $35 worth, though, so not very much - but i feel very betrayed.
tl;dr: friend & friend's parents said it's ok to send stuff, i do for the 3rd time and the friend steals the stuff and lies about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
CjPi6FfDcPFCwSIDUVCDcSSJMintJ72L
|
ao1y15
|
{
"description": "telling my friend I didn't want to watch tv with her",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA because I told my friend I didn’t want to watch TV with her?
|
I live with my best friend and my partner, I’ve recently broken my ankle and can’t move around very well and after being pretty active this is an incredibly stressful and frustrating time for me.
I’ve told my friends that not only am I going through this and it’s completely not their fault if I’m pissy, but I have bipolar and it really isn’t their fault if I’m getting really down and I’ve struggled with it for a while but I know how to deal with it. I have also told them that if I’m in a mood, I give clear warning and tell them that it’s really me and I need to get over it just please don’t try to make me feel better because that’s now how it works.
My partner gets it, and I’m friends with a lot of guys and they seem to just roll over it like they don’t care.
But my best friend knew I was having a ‘pissy’ day, or not my best day. And she’s asked me if I want to get dinner, if I want to go to one of our friends houses, if I want to go out, if I’m okay to go out drinking in my moonboot, and I just kept it really light with, ‘I need to get homework done’ ‘I need to clean the room’ ‘I need to do laundry’
And she came in and asked ‘can I watch TV with you’ and I said, ‘do you have to?’ Because I didn’t know how else to say it, like I’m in my pjs, in my bed with my ankle strapped and unable to move, I’ve got no underwear or bra on, I’m just not in a space for anyone other than my partner to be in. (My partner works night shift so he’s gone.)
She said ‘oh my god you’re so mean to me!’
AITA because despite having told my friend all but leave me alone, that I don’t want to watch TV.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
RrU5gxvHHvoIbq6cz8JdswO5buhUYviU
|
b7vwog
|
{
"description": "not donating blood",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not donating blood?
|
Hey guys. Nothing too serious here, I’ve just always been curious about what other people think about this.
I know a lot of people donate blood. Blood is of course a vital resource for hospitals to have. I’ve never gone out of my way to donate. While many people don’t, here’s my reasoning:
My blood type is AB+. To the best of my knowledge, nobody can accept AB+ blood except for other AB+ people.
Thing is, AB+ is the universal recipient, meaning anybody who’s AB+ and needs blood can have literally *any* blood.
Given the lack of specific requirement for AB+ blood, I’ve never felt like going out of my way to donate.
Does this make me an asshole?
Thanks guys!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
83jjD51ZfzKZrtuGU5M88FCRDYZlQe1t
|
b22ran
|
{
"description": "wanting my two new roommates to all agree to a set of rules",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my two new roommates to all agree to a set of rules?
|
The four of us all moved into an off-campus house about two weeks ago. (We are all graduate students.) For the most part, we get along okay, but there have been a few incidents. I think it’s a good idea for us to agree to some ground rules before anything gets truly out of hand.
The incident that prompted me to suggest putting a few rules in writing involved one of my roommates borrowing my truck without permission, then ignoring her phone for three hours, causing me to miss an appointment. I woke up, went to leave for my appointment, and my truck was just gone. (Public transport barely exists out here, and an Uber to where I was going would have been pricey.)
The rules I suggested are mostly just matters of common decency— nothing unusual or nit-picky.
Basically, “ask before you use/eat something that isn’t yours,” “don’t go into other people’s bedrooms without permission,” “take your dirty dishes to the sink and wash them within about 24 hours or so,” “give us a heads up if you’re bringing people over” and “kick in $3/week for communal supplies.”
The “heads up if you’re bringing a guest” rule isn’t because I want to stop people from bringing guests. It’s because all four of us are ladies, and due to the layout of the house, everyone has to cross a common space to get from the showers to our bedrooms. Plus, since we are all women, it’s pretty normal for one of us to walk around in our skivvies or revealing PJs, etc.
By “communal supplies,” I’m talking about the kind of crap where it doesn’t make any sense for each person to have their own, such as toilet paper, dish soap, mopping fluid, milk, etc.
When I broached the idea to my roommates, one was on board. The other two got mad at me and basically said they’ll do whatever they want since they pay rent. One of them told me that I’m the one who gets upset when dirty dishes sit in the sink for more than a day I should wash them myself. The other told me I was being childish by trying to set up any rules.
I told them I was willing to discuss the rules, that I wanted all of us to agree, and that we could include any rules they thought of within reason.
I’m not trying to be the damn Soup Nazi, but it’s frustrating when I come home during my break and whatever I planned on having for lunch is just gone.
All I want is a few reasonable standards so I can have be comfortable where I live.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
7wn9mnQQXdYG79soQhxJg4oIqo9BAIBZ
|
ab868z
|
{
"description": "being annoyed with my mother in law",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed with my mother in law
|
So my mother in law has stage 4 cancer and only has a short time left. We have been here all Christmas break taking care of her. I don’t mind this really because I’ll do anything to help out in a time like this. The only thing that annoys me is that she absolutely refuses to get a catheter put in. This means that because she can’t walk, my self and my brother in law need to pick her up and carry her to the bathroom and back every hour and a half to two hours even in the middle of the night. He and I already take 2 hour shifts in the middle of the night because she needs around the clock care and with the almost constant bathroom trips, neither of us as getting more than a few hours of sleep a day. AITA for being upset that she won’t get a catheter?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yIttFB3L2kIrRfQ6fgj60FIjP93InUnh
|
aeevnl
|
{
"description": "wanting to spend more time alone in my room",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting to spend more time alone in my room?
|
For context I'm a 16 year old Male, all of my siblings have moved out and I'm in practicality an only child. My school let's out extraordinarily late, about 4:15pm. I get home about 4:30. My parents force me to go to bed around 10:30. So from the time I get home I have about 6 Hours of actual free time.
Now, my parents really want to spend time with me and all, and I understand that with me being the only child left, but I only feel as if I'm losing out on alot of my own life. My parents expect me to watch TV with them, as its pretty much the only thing they ever do, and I do watch TV with them as much as I find TV boring, but they expect me to watch for as much as four hours. I feel like I'm losing out on my time. Two hours a day simply doesn't seem right to me. I like to play videogames, do art, and study philosophy. Normal teenage stuff, maybe minus the philosophy haha. If I don't spend enough time with my parents they tend to make that know. My dad is excellent at guilt tripping, and my mom is better than my dad. I don't think I'll ever do anything about it, but I just feel as if my years are slipping away doing things I simply just dont want to do. I'm sorry if I didnt do well enough explaining myself, I just want some other people's opinions
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
bCpEDi4s5K8MwrUVOSlbKC3JbV5PtEdW
|
akbzqx
|
{
"description": "getting mad at a game, and my friend getting mad at me for it",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For getting mad at a game, and my friend getting mad at me for it?
|
This is a little hard to explain but I’ll go for it.
We were playing a game last night and he beat me, and i was pretty mad. Not because he beat me, but the way I lost was kinda stupid. Anyway, he could tell I was upset so every time I would try to speak he would say “you’re mad”. I asked him why he was doing that and he claimed I did it to him earlier in the day. I do it to my other friends because they take it well. Him on the other hand, if he loses in a game he’ll be mad about it for a couple of hours, so I don’t do anything to provoke him to be more upset. He continued to do this for around 15 minuets before some of my friends stepped in and told him to stop being an asshole to me. He says he’s not because I do the same thing to him (which I don’t). So after this he decided to ignore me for the rest of the night.
So, am I the asshole for being upset?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
txWqMg9UVU902uKErnKwHUUzaz7zv5DY
|
ao2vuj
| null |
AITA retail shop and customer has issue with camera.
|
Working in a repair shop for electronics, customer comes in with a digital camera with the lens extended and won't close. Realised they were using normal AA batteries told them they needed high powerfull 2000 mah batteries or rechargeable.
Asked if I could write it down I said it's only 2000 mah felt I had to write it down, and as I'm writting it they replied your an awful contrary little prick.
Threw the note in the bin and told them to fuck off and get out. They were all oh I was only joking etc. Again tell them to get out and that I would be a contrary little prick if they didn't leave.
Bear in mind I wasn't making anything for this and they stunk of beer either from this morning or last night.
So am I the asshole as it was a retail situation but I'm self employed so do I have to listen to their shit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
nHazHb17BRW5N2qwCxGxbFMA6JI93TTe
|
a27l3c
|
{
"description": "asking my flatmates to be quiet",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my flatmates to be quiet?
|
I'm going to try and include as much detail here as possible, though it's hard to depict the whole picture, so I apologise if I omit some details. If you would like more information, just let me know and I can provide more. I should also say that as a person, I like peace and quiet, and that find I loud noises to be overwhelming.
I'm in my second year of university accommodation and I'm sharing a flat with four other people, all of whom moved in about 10 weeks ago. Two of them very much keep to themselves, while the other two, who I will refer to as Flatmate #1 and Flatmate #2, I find to be loud, with their resting state of voice being as loud as if they were in a bar. It got on my nerves for the first 6 weeks but I tried my best to ignore it.
At first things were good. I hung out with the two loud ones quite a bit, and we had fun together. Flatmate #1, unfortunately, ended up developing a thing for me, which wasn't reciprocated, and made me uncomfortable, and was eventually something I thought I needed to nip in the bud. The two of us went to a salsa society taster session together, which she didn't like, but I was very much into. The impression I got was clear that she would not be okay with me going, so I tried to, indirectly and as nicely as possible, tell her that I wasn't interested in her, and that I just wanted to be friends. She understood, saying that she herself had dealt with an incident where a guy had been interested in her and the feelings had not been mutual, and how uncomfortable that had made her feel. Later on, however, she started talking about arranged marriages and her belief in them over marriages for love. I should mention that she is from India, which is why she has her opinion on arranged marriages, and that this conversation did not change her from expressing feelings of infatuation for me through music and singing for a couple more weeks.
Our relationship ended up deteriorating the more often I ended up going to salsa. I noticed that both her and the other flatmate were increasingly insulting to me, as well as rude, with them both no longer inviting me to hang out with them. On one occasion Flatmate #1 and I ended up having an argument about something frivolous, and later on in the same day Flatmate #1 came to my room, saying, rather confrontationally, that she didn't like me keeping my shampoo in the shower as she had to move it out of the way, asking me to instead take it back into my room when I was done using it. We later agreed that instead I could just move it out of the way so it wasn't troubling her.
One night, on which I tried to go to a salsa social, I ended showing up, but no one else came, which upset me. I shared this with the other two flatmates as I was still on speaking terms with them at this point, and I feel as if they were more willing to talk to me because of this. Later on it turned out that I had just gone much earlier than everyone else. The improved disposition of my flatmates towards me changed when it turned out I was still willing to go to salsa events, as they thought that I no longer would because of the experience, with Flatmate #1 becoming argumentative after I said I would still be going.
After a while longer of them both making fun of me, I eventually sent a message to flatmate #2, asking her to stop calling me strange as I found it to be rude. She apologised, but tried to place the blame on me for not having told her at the time. After this, I felt as if I had had enough. I stopped trying to reach out and talk to them, instead spending far more time in my room and ignoring them both. During this time I noticed that Flatmate #1 was still being friendly towards me in texts, for instance sending me a message asking me what the matter was, as we had been having so much fun before, to which I responded by saying that I was upset and I didn't want to talk about it. She then wished me well, hoping that I get better soon. However, in person, her disposition was completely different, as I found her to be either frosty or rude.
After passing the common room area enough times to hear them both laughing together, knowing that they weren't inviting me to spend time along with them, I finally decided that I had had enough of how loud they both were. On two occasions I told them both that I thought that they were being loud and that I would prefer for them to be quiet. One was in the kitchen, the other in the corridor that lies between our rooms. Flatmate #1 did not appreciate this. Later on in the same day that I told them both to be quiet when they were talking in the corridor, Flatmate #1 and I were in the kitchen, doing our own thing in silence. As she was about to leave, she said:
"I don't know what's going on, but if you're going to get upset every time that the other flatmate and I are being loud, then I'm going to be upset whenever you are loud".
I responded by saying:
"Okay. Let me know".
Afterwards she left, and I continued preparing breakfast for the next morning, thinking about what she had said. As I do play the guitar, sing and listen to music/videos while in the kitchen as they're both there, I thought that what she had said had been fair enough. Then I considered how I didn't tell them to be quiet every single time that they were loud, but instead just when I found it to be unbearable. Thinking about this for whatever reason really irritated me, as it seemed to me that Flatmate #1, rather than being considerate towards me, was instead trying to make my life difficult. I ended up going Flatmate #2's room and knocking on the door, as I could hear them both talking. I asked if I could speak to Flatmate #1, to which I was obliged. I spoke with a raised voiced, saying that I was not trying to be spiteful when asking them to be quiet, and that instead, I just wanted there to be less noise, as it bothered me. As she was talking, saying that she was then going to be quiet if I asked her to be, I turned on my heel and walked out of the room, only to look back in as she was finishing, giving me a thumbs up as she finished.
Around this time we all got an email concerning the showers, saying that they needed to be kept clear of any toiletries to be prepared for the next person to use it. Thinking back on how my flatmate had been rather confrontational concerning my own toiletries within the shower, I couldn't help but think that she had made a complaint, so I sent her a message asking her if she had complained about me. She evaded the question, saying that we had all received an email. I agreed, but said that it would just help me if she said yes or no to the question. She responded by saying that had I asked her face to face or at an earlier time (this was at 11 at night) she would have answered, and that she did not appreciate me making an accusation against her. I told her that I wasn't accusing her of anything, I was asking her whether or not she had done it, and that was the end of the message exchange.
The next day, the two of us were in the kitchen, with Flatmate #1 playing a video on her phone. We hadn't shared a word with one another while together, until I asked her if she could turn the volume down on her phone, as I was finding it to be a bit loud. In response she lowered the volume by a single pip. I asked her if she could make it quieter. She then snapped at me, telling me that I should put up with it, that I am not the only one who lives here and that I was harassing her, telling me that I needed to learn to compromise. I responded by saying that I was willing to compromise: that if she found me to be too loud, she could tell me to be quiet, which I would agree to, and that in return, I would expect the same from her. She agreed to this. As I was quite shocked and annoyed that she had accused me of harassing her, I said:
"So I'm not harassing you. I'm not harassing you at all".
She then stormed out of the room. The next day she apologised to me, though I felt it was insincere. A couple of days later I talked to her in private, because I wanted to address the seriousness of what she had said to me. I got another insincere apology, before being asked why I had cut myself of from her and Flatmate #2, to which I told her that they had both been rude to me and I had taken offence. She apologised. I was then told that I needed to be less rude in asking her to be quiet, as she did not like the direct way in which I spoke, instead preferring for me to be more indirect instead, and that I also needed to expect her to be loud at times. I apologised to her for being rude. This conversation, unfortunately, ended up achieving no sense of resolution between us at all.
Things between the three of us remained frosty until it boiled to a point earlier this week. It's important to note that the email that we got concerning the shower drew attention to how it was a communal space, and that it needed to be cleared and prepared for the next person to use. That being said, there is only a single counter within the kitchen on which you can prepare and eat food. People within the flat also used it as a space on which to store their various belongings, such as spice, oils, dishes and food. Over time, the amount of items on the counter grew to the point where there wasn't any space whatsoever on it on which to cook or prepare food. When I found it in this state, I sent a message to the group chat we have, asking whether or not we could start clearing it of stuff, as I wanted to use it to make myself dinner. It should be noted that within the group chat, whenever I ask people to do things, such as clean up the hob after using it, or wiping off the toilet seat after use as well, no one ever responds. As usual, no one responded to me asking whether or not we could clear the counter.
So, feeling rather fed
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
0JLnZ131A8UYnrUbHlyir1E1kWLOKkgE
|
b4z9s5
|
{
"description": "leaving my mom and brother in a church",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
Aita for leaving my mom and brother in a church {more like a cult}
|
This just happened and what happened was my mom wanted to go to church this Sunday and it was one which her co worker invited her too
So the church is going on and then I notice weird things and jokingly say to myself this is a cult
So 2 hours in a lady starts to vomit and scream and I am like well sucks to be you if this is real and the the pastor start making people faint so I stand up and make a glorious retreat but they call me to come back inside but they are saying come for a blessing and this weird old man maybe around 6.7 and I am 61 talks to me about god has chosen you from young and I am in my head who are you trying to recruit to this weird ass show so I back away and tell my mom I am exiting and I dont play with these type of things when it comes to my belief she replies urges me to go and after some back forth she tells me we are having no conversation about this so I just leave with out saying a word
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
drEX3LOUdIjhzdVCWe1XHCvw97giFlFE
|
9yd9s4
|
{
"description": "expecting my partner to be there for me while I am terminating a pregnancy",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for expecting my partner to be there for me while I am terminating a pregnancy?
|
To make a long story short I am in my second year of college out of state. Due to a sexual assualt that happened to me at the start of the semester, that I had not told anyone about until recently, I had been acting very distant from my partner.
Fast forward and I ended up cheating on him, not physically but the texts I had sent still count. No they were not sexual in nature, but that still doesn’t justify what I did. The distance had taken a tole on me to the point that I had forgotten the whole reason my partner and I were distant was due to my actions and not his. Thankfully I am fortunate to be with someone who is giving me a second chance, and we had agreed to take time to ourselves for a bit to help with the healing process and to come back to the relationship in a healthy manner. It is important to note that once the cheating had been revealed I did explain that I had been assaulted by a close friend earlier in the semester, not to gain sympathy but to simply explain why my behavior has been so odd the past few months.
Fast foward to this past Thursday and I find out that I am pregnant. I had prior concerns that this was true since I have missed my cycle the past two months. He was present for the test and reacted in a supportive manner. I ended up taking temporary medical leave off of school to fly home and get help for the assault and to terminate the pregnancy.
Before I left we had agreed that this week would be good for us to get time apart, but that he would also be there to support me with the pregnancy. So far I have only reached out to him to give him updates on the pregnancy, however he has chosen to ignore me. I know that he needs time and space to heal which I am trying to respect, but this is obviously a very serious ordeal that just happened to occur at a poor time with everything else occuring in our lives.
Obviously this is a very brief synopsis of everything that has been going on the past two weeks, but I guess what I am asking is that if I am the asshole for feeling hurt and upset that he hasn’t been there for me for this process?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
DsEIpJljuudNEUuQ27KbAZAMhRA6vpjp
|
auysie
|
{
"description": "yelling at my husband for interrupting my sleep this morning",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA-I yelled at my husband for interrupting my sleep this morning
|
Basically I’m an event planner. This means I work odd hours in addition to the 9-5 we all know and love.
Last night I reminded my DH that he needed to pick up our son from school because I have an event today-an event that goes til midnight. It’s been on the calendar for a month, but he was still shocked and a bit upset that I’ll be gone so long. No biggie tho, he’s happy to have some one on one with his kid.
We go to bed late and he’s trying to get something started. It’s been a couple days, but I’m just not feeling it. Not in a bad way, I’m just really content with the day and for the life of me cannot think my way into sexy time right then. I told him we could have sex if he was determined, but that I wasn’t in the mood. I feel bad for turning him down, but I got really cuddly which he loves.
This morning it’s pitch black out and I can tell DH is trying to get some sexy time started again. He keeps moving me around to cuddle closer and tries to kiss my neck and such. He also keeps pulling the blanket off my butt and I’m freezing to death. I’m clearly trying to sleep and roll over to signal, not now, buddy. After almost 40 mins he’s like “okay, gotta go, last cuddle!” Right as my alarm goes off. So I yelled “I just want to sleep damn it!” Right as he goes in for a last hug. He says “fine!” And gets up. I hit snooze.
Not two minutes later our son (3years old) starts whining in my face about how daddy left and he wants his TV (he gets 30 mins before school so I can get dressed). I’m furious and call DH and tell him next time he refuses to let me sleep, at least take a minute to take care of the kid. DH said “I know you hate me so much, but I’m not even gone yet, I’ll fix his TV.”
I don’t hate him. I’m just about to go into a 15 1/2 hour work day with only 4.5 hours of sleep and I don’t see why wanting to sleep til my alarm is a crime. I feel bad I turned him down twice in a row, but can’t a guy take a hint that I want to keep sleeping?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
OsIucuPl9HgM4xt5gXs6PUhGhJYzkbcI
|
aiudm5
|
{
"description": "not breaking ties with a friend that my gf didn't like",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not breaking ties with a friend that my gf didn’t like?
|
For some background my gf (f 21) and I (m 22) met in college and have been together ever since for about two and a half years now and it’s been great and we’re both very happy with our relationship. A little while after we started dating my gf found out about a friend I had at college who was a girl the same year as me (f 21). For convenience’ sake we will refer to the friend as Jane. I became good friends with Jane over a year before I met my gf and we met through a mutual friend who Jane was dating at the time. We would frequently have lunch in between classes and such and occasionally hang out outside of class. And as a disclaimer from my perspective it was honestly a genuine friendship and it doesn’t go any further than that nor did I ever intend for it to even before I met my gf.
So my gf found out about Jane when she was using my phone for something and I got a text from Jane asking to get lunch later. Of course she asked about Jane (who is she/do I know her/why are you texting another gal) the typical stuff and I explained our friendship and how Jane is also in a relationship and how we met etc. Despite that she expressed how she didn’t like her and how she wasn’t really ok with me being friends with her. I’ll admit at the time I got a little defensive cause I didn’t think it was a big deal and I knew that it was really just a friendship and it wasn’t what she was thinking (talking to some gal behind her back). On a side note my gf has several male friends who I know personally and I’m 100% ok with it and she knows them from mutual friends and sports as she’s a student athlete. I would never cheat and I love my gf very much and she knows that and she’s feels the same towards me and we trust each other completely but of course she gets jealous. In an effort to try to show her how Jane is a nice person and that we are just friends I proposed all four of us get lunch together one day (me and my gf with Jane and her bf). At the time I thought it went well but after lunch she still told me she still doesn’t want me hanging out with Jane and that she doesn’t trust her.
After that we just forgot about it and I didn’t cut ties with Jane cause I thought my gf was being ridiculous. After I graduated this past year (roughly two years after my gf found out about Jane) I hadn’t talked to Jane for months but my gf brought her up recently out of curiosity (do i still talk to her/am I still friends with her). I told her I haven’t talked to her but I didn’t exactly stop being friends with her. Til this day there hasn’t ever been even a shred of romanticism or anything to hint at something more than a friendship between me and Jane but my gf is still upset about it even tho we haven’t spoken in months since school. AITA for not breaking ties with Jane when my gf asked me to?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
cr3fHDJ3m8UlV1WOnA0VuuZCM0jUA2wv
|
arai0c
|
{
"description": "forgetting to tell my dad his family tried to contact him",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for forgetting to tell my dad his family tried to contact him?
|
Ok the title sounds really bad, but hear me out.
I have family in central America on my dad's side that he is very close to. We talk and contact them frequently, and recently they started a WhatsApp group chat to coordinate their activities.
This Tuesday my grandmother added me thinking it's my dad's account , and I was flooded with messages (for my dad, no one knows it's me) of greetings.
Now I love them very deeply and was happy to hear from them, even if they didn't realize it's my number, However I was dead center in the middle of my finals week for a physics course that I have to pass with a B or higher and I was not able to respond quickly. My schedule (until TODAY) was school at 8 am, work, home at 6, 40 minute break, and study until 12 at night. In the heat of studying for my finals I completely forgot about the group chat or to tell my dad about the messages for him.
Well I told him today and he was furious that I did not bring it up sooner and believes that now he will look bad for not responding. I apologized and explained that while I realized what I did was wrong, it slipped my mind because it was simply not a priority at the moment. He wasn't satisfied with that explanation and assured me that from now on he would take the same attitude with my personal "priorities " as I was clearly too selfish to consider telling him the few times I saw him this week, which I will agree, I did see him a few afternoons for like 30 minutes.
I feel really bad because I do see that this meant a lot to him, but I also believe that my reason for forgetting is valid. And in truth I think his reaction is out of proportion. Am I in the wrong here? Should I apologize again? Or should I stand my ground? Because this will definitely come up again.
I'm open to criticism, please help.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
0kTLj2kCud1Zl0Ab9yg1cIui0q7XaaZB
|
a1jcnb
|
{
"description": "wanting to have a good night and see one of my closest friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to have a good night and see one of my closest friends
|
First off sorry for any incorrect formatting, I’m on mobile and don’t wanna wait till I get home. About 3 weeks ago my relationship started becoming very rocky because my girlfriend, or ex girlfriend now, told me she wanted to move back to her home town because she missed her family. We’ve been together for 2 years now and she’s been around my 3 year old for the past 2 years. She decided she missed her family so much she wanted to end our relationship to be with her family. I’m not entirely upset about her wanting to be back with her family but it sucks because my son really took a liking to her. Unfortunately we ended up breaking off our relationship because of this. We still live together so we’ve been sleeping at friends houses or I’ve slept on the floor. We were being very civil with each other until last night. Instead of going home and being miserable I went out and had a bonfire at my friends house. It just happens that one of my friends, we will call her P for short, was there and I’ve known and been close to P since early high school. Me and P have been in a relationship and it never worked out like I wanted. But I had a really good time being with my friends and enjoying my night until I got home. Even though my and ex weren’t together she questioned where I was and kept yelling at me because I was home late. She then found out who I was hanging out with her she became extremely hostile. Telling me things like she was going to stay and now she isn’t and she doesn’t trust me anymore and all this other shit. She ended up going through my phone and leaving the house and staying at a friends. My biggest issue with this is that I tried so hard to keep our relationship together while she just seemed to give up, ultimately causing our relationship to end. It really hurt my feelings because even though I didn’t think I did anything wrong I still feel guilty. I’m just upset that someone who broke up with me and abandoned me and my son is mad because I hung out with someone who makes her uncomfortable.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4LlsfQgMQmdzTk0cOQTrnNuEFgAY9hWU
|
9zu4f3
| null |
AITA for this? I’m pretty sure I’m not
|
My name is Anthony. In my last year of middle school, I made friends with this one person named Kyle. He was pretty nice and funny. In my first year of high school, I met a much better friend that was funnier and friendlier. I started thinking kyle was annoying. He kept texting me and talking to me. This annoyed me a lot. I blocked him on Snapchat and then removed his contact. He continued to try to talk to me at school. I told him I don’t like him anymore because he is not as good as my other friend. He started to cry, and I rolled my eyes. “What a loser” I thought. He started to call me an asshole but I don’t care because he had no friends. But, I was just clarifying that I’m not an asshole by posting on here and telling the public. He is a loser and please respond NTA so I can show him I am better than him
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
7aVy14Ng25yisb47J4moUqm2aj2AdS85
|
aje1ul
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to my nephew's basketball/baseball games",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not wanting to go to my nephew’s basketball/baseball games?
|
A little background, I have two kids under 3 years old and my sister in law has 3 kids, oldest is 5. Family is very important to my wife, which it should be, however living in the same town as my SIL and 1 hr away from in laws we end up seeing them quite a lot.
Every sport my nephew starts/plays they invite us to go. My in laws always come in when they can and usually end up staying the night with us or them. It usually ends up making my wife and I bicker/fight because I never want to go and just want to spend the weekend with her and our kids. On a couple of occasions this has resulted in me staying at home alone or with my kids. Also, I should add that she doesn’t go every time and has stated she doesn’t necessarily want to go either but doesn’t because it’s family time.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to watch 10 five year olds chase a ball around and not accomplish anything for an hour of my weekend? If it was competitive I don’t think I’d have a problem with it. I know the simple answer is to just suck it up and go but it happens so much that I just don’t want to.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ylUfUT2ySNyGl2lIa863CxVL17KhVFBd
|
a106hh
|
{
"description": "having an affair with a woman engaged to someone far away",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for having an affair with a woman engaged to someone far away?
|
This happened a couple years ago, but I still think about it all the time.
I(21m at the time) met this girl(29F at the time) at work. I was friends with everyone at work but she was an exception because I had a deep respect for her for some reason. We always worked together when we were shorthanded so we bonded in that way. She was also more experienced than I was so I looked up to her and followed her example.
She had a fiance who lived in Europe she would occasionally talk about. She wouldn't say much and I wouldn't pry, because I really hadn't been interested in her. I felt we had profound friendship, but I didn't let myself get bothered by her relationship and gave her the respect due to her.
She had to write a letter to immigration to help her fiance immigrate to the US, and I told her I would proof read and rewrite and type her letter for her because her English was not very good. I did that and she was overjoyed. The letter sent was reviewed and the immigration was okayed.
One day she opened up to me and told me about how she was depressed because for ten years she had been waiting on this guy in Europe to immigrate to the U.S. and now that he had the ok he didn't seem very interested. She told me that he was cold to her.
I figured I would try a pickup technique I learned on Reddit just to try it on. I wasn't interested in her but I did it anyway as kind gesture to my friend who was depressed. And to my surprise it fucking worked.
She started calling me to talk on the phone every once in a while after we initially hung out AS FRIENDS, and I was happily in the friend zone. I never had friend like her so I really cherished this friendship. I had never been in a romantic relationship so I just saw this as being friends with someone.
Then she invited me over her house for dinner. She was an amazing cook. After we ate she wanted us to watch TV in her bedroom and I was too naive to take her Netflix and chill hint(I was still a virgin, give me a break). So I just sat there, made NO moves and introduced her to the movie Juice. She fell asleep, so I ccovered up the food on the table and went home. On my ride home I realized I might kind of like her.
She invited me over again on thanksgiving(which is probably why ive been thinking about it), because she was coming home from a thanksgiving party and she wanted me to try an ethnic food from her home country. I lost my virginity that night.
We were a secret thing for about 8 months and she talked about her fiance barely ever. I didn't ask about that too much because I thought she loved me(she said it often) and I thought this guy was a thing of the past. But then one night she told me eventually her fiance would come and things between us would have to end. I grabbed my shit from her apartment and left. My heart was torn to absolute shreds. I knew the whole time but I just ignored the inevitable.
We both got new jobs by that point and we kept up talking on the phone for a couple months until I told her to stop calling me.
A couple of years later and I'm back at my old job. I hear from a mutual friend that she is getting married soon to her fiance. The waves pain, embarrassment and guilt come crashing down on me.
FEELSBADMAN but am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
emHDWOIPv5F9v9AyoD8AbDw28XBPU7r8
|
ajnyor
|
{
"description": "trying to force my om to deal with something she doesn't want",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to force my om to deal with something she doesn't want?
|
Backstory: we were never a functional perfect family. as a kid my mom would abuse me emotionally and physically, and my step dad wouldn't really do much about it. stuff started to change for the better 2 years ago, she hasen't laid a hand on me at all, and 1.5 years ago she went abroad to study something and took my brother and sister with her (she and my step dad didn't break up). as time went on, my brother and sister came back to my country since she is suppose to come back aswell, but they came early. time went on and the relationship between me and my dad got worse then before, we started fighting all the time, mostly because of my little brother. my littler brother has no discpline and it effects me sometimes (acting like a brat when I take him and my sister to the movies, when I need to be in charge of them he never listens to what I say and does what ever he wants \[example, i tell him not to scream when were in the park, and he ignores me\] ). it ended up with 2 major fights, one was because my brother called me an idiot for telling him that if he wants to watch something on my phone he should come over to me (he didn't want to get up from the couch and wanted me to come over to him), i got angry because no one was telling him its not okay and said that hes being lazy, to which my dad got angry and started yelling at me (which ended up getting worse). the second major fight was when I got hom from work, my brother was on the playstation and I didn't say hi to him when i got back home. my dad got angry at me even though I kept trying to explain it wasn't on purpose, we ended up in a fight which continued to him screaming that he wants no contact with me, he doesn't want me to say that i love him, doesn't want me to hug him, and nothing else. to which i started breaking down crying, he said he doesn't want me terrorizing the house and i told him i'm not leaving, to which he screamd at me to get my stuff and get out of the house in the next hour, or he will physically take me out of the house. after he kicked me out, i ended up sleeping at my moms friend house, bought a plane ticket, and am currently staying with her.
​
My mom doesn't want to get inbetween us. she says its between me and him and she doesn't want to deal with that at the moment because she is busy with what shes studying. She says that there is his point of view, and he told her "he just said that out of anger, and didn't actually mean it, and he left the door open and didn't know i wont come bacl". i told her thats bullshit because he told me he will physically take me out if i don't get out, and didn't tell me to come back later. I could've slept on the street and he wouldn't know. she keeps insisiting he didn't actually kick me out because "he didn't mean it". Shes angry at me for wanting her to get inbetween and take care of this situation. Am i the asshole? is "i didn't mean to, i was just angry" an actuall valid excuse?
​
TL;DR- step dad kicks me out of the house, tells my mom whos abroad "that he didn't mean to, he was just angry" even though he never told me to come back home. Mom believes him and doesn't want to deal with anything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XbsgZy6kday46EW5ut4y91g5h5Og6tl7
|
b3giks
|
{
"description": "\"blackmailing\" my crush and then going back on my word",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 42
}
|
AITA for "blackmailing" my crush and then going back on my word?
|
I became close friends with my crush and really fell in love with him. We were always flirting, so I thought he might like me back and then we began to exchange nude photographs and I thought we would sure become a thing. Well, I confessed my feelings and he told me right then and there that not only did he not feel the same way, but that he also had a girlfriend of over a year. I started crying and sobbing and he was comforting me, but then I remembered the photographs and told him that I would have to show/tell his girlfriend about it and then he began begging me to keep it a secret, but I told him I couldn't, but then he started offering me money and all of these things because his girlfriend would be really upset.
Well, I thought then that if he is using me then I should also use him back. I didn't accept the money because I wasn't sure if it was illegal + I didn't really want it anyways. I told him that instead I wanted him to take me out to dinner because I thought it might get him to see me in a different way. After the dinner though (which I thought went really well), I asked him if he still wanted to be with his girlfriend and he said "Yes", so I told him then that I would send her the photos + other evidence anyways.
My friends all say I'm a jerk, but I honestly don't feel that bad about doing it because he used me first.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 21,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 42
}
|
WRONG
|
OmBLyNDBKaM88kQHOz7gq7hfN6Xp8Wtu
|
b7zir8
|
{
"description": "not sleeping with an apprehensive girl",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not sleeping with an apprehensive girl?
|
This could either go here, or r/TIFU -- I think here fits just *slightly* better...
So me and a friend decided we would really like a FWB situation. The only problem was I would be her first. She was 23, I was 24.
So to get right to the point, she was at my place, we were making out and I put my hand on her thigh and she immediately blurted out **"No!"** -- Killed it immediately for me. 100% the night was over in my mind. The F in FWB was genuine. She was awesome, and I liked her as a person, and we were part of a big social clique that all interacted constantly. The last thing I wanted was to ruin a friendship, and basically be a total dick to literally everyone I know.
So I pulled back and slowed down. I didn't recoil and freak out, I just 'took a step back', i would say. The problem is she was still into it but the conflicting experience made me straight up nope out. She started up again and was a bit more handsy. The problem is, when someone blurts out "no" as a gut reaction to a touch.. not *quite* a yell, but more than just saying it.. That conflict doesn't jive for me. So she was getting more in the mood, but I refused to go there. We kept kissing and cuddling but no clothes came off. **I never told her she had reacted that way. If I could do it over again, I would have, but I didn't want to make it a big thing.**
She left disappointed, and I think she didn't even realize what had happened. I tried to very respectfully back off, because it's kind of a big deal to me, and I didn't want her to regret her decision. This ended up ruining our friendship anyways. And by not bringing it up -- I think that is why it's TIFU material. That WAS a mistake. Maybe if we talked about it we could have stayed friends. Instead my reaction was to get cold feet, because I didn't want her to feel she had made a mistake later.
So to sum it up...
**AITA for not having sex with a FWB that was giving me conflicting signals, and blurted out "NO!" when I touched her leg?**
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
m2ig9XwMJbltmPzvYQyrM6F2Pkg5KLRF
|
b9nlg2
|
{
"description": "not being especially nice to a repeat uber driver",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being especially nice to a repeat uber driver?
|
I take Uber a lot, this guy had driven me twice before. I put in a request and he responded and said something along the lines of,
"I was just about to stop for the night, but I saw you and thought you'd be really excited, but I guess I was wrong."
This was after he picked me up and I said normal, not-excited "hey, how are you?" type of thing.
I was kinda drunk, overworked and tired at the time, so I didn't really know how to respond. I think we chatted a tiny bit about nonsense but it was basically a silent drive and now I feel bad that I wasn't more friendly. We had previously had nice conversations and stuff, he's around my age, went to the same school... But I was looking just looking for a quiet ride to Safeway.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PY1kWfdC22orh0sZSu1z6MUQRhTHOAks
|
ait16s
|
{
"description": "telling a guy in my Discord server to download a game notorious for having an anti-piracy measure",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling a guy in my Discord server to download a game notorious for having an anti-piracy measure?
|
So, I told a guy in my Discord who was bragging about how he illegally downloaded all these movies and stuff for free, so then I told him to download game dev tycoon 3, I originally told him to download cuphead but he declined.
(The guy's Canadian, btw)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GzRTMY1TwcdhMh1wNx9Za514L73wY2Xd
|
awupp8
|
{
"description": "showing up to a restaurant 15 minutes after it opens",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for showing up to a restaurant 15 minutes after it opens?
|
TL;DR I'm at a hotel restaurant and I showed up at 6:45, fifteen minutes after it opened. I worked at a restaurant so I know it's a dick move to show up that close to closing (unless you're ordering really light) but I didn't work in the kitchen so I don't remember what mornings were like
Also fyi ordering a mimosa at 6:45am is super awkward.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1Hlpo3r9A54iwyjoEX4OphVrOrTjmaDD
|
b3hcnh
|
{
"description": "messaging his sister",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for messaging his sister?
|
Apologies for the poor formating; I am on my phone and this is my first post here.
Ok so my (ex) best friend and I got into a -what I thought was- friendly debate about if maths was important or not, me taking maths' side. The debate fizzled out and I thought it was getting left at that.
The next day, he boyfriend started verbally attacking me in the group chat in which the debate occurred saying I'm horrible at all the things I enjoy: maths (yes I'm a nerd), science, teaching (I want to be a teacher when I'm older, I'm currently 17 so I just tutor some people in, you guessed it, maths) and so on.
Eventually I grew weary of defending myself and as I already had screenshots of everything from keeping my boyfriend informed as to what was happening, I left the group chat and was going to leave it at that. However, the boyfriend did not take that well and then brought it into another group chat which I promptly screen shotted the new message before leaving that chat.
Then, I sent it all to his twin sister with whom I am aquatinted via school - we're in the same maths class and used to be in the same form for 5 years asking her to stop him from harassing me. Her and her mum then proceeded to yell at him and he sent me an apology before stopping. Ever since this happened around a month ago, best friend and I have not spoken except for necessities and the same goes between him and I; he also used to be a very close friend. Best friend told me this is because I betrayed her and was a bitch.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
gPPlHdOEDcapeGWMXyYUWSnYI827zgAd
|
a9slzp
|
{
"description": "not wanting to spend new years with my core friend group",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to spend new years with my core friend group?
|
I have a few groups of friends that I juggle hanging out with. One of them I tend to see much more frequently than the others since they live close, the rest I only really see during breaks in college and work. I would definitely consider the ones that live close my best friends, that being said I've never spent new years with them. Every year when new years rolls around I choose to hang out with a friend I usually don't get to see often since new years lines up well with breaks from their school and my work. this has been the trend since I graduated some 4 years ago.
This year someone from my core friend group messaged me to check if I was coming this year and was mad when I told her I wouldn't be attending. After I explained what I said above to her, she seemed to get more mad that I never choose to spend the holidays with them. She was particularly upset that I tried to say she isn't considering my other friendships I'm trying to maintain.
For her side I haven't spent any of the major holidays with them in the last 4 years, citing this reason each time. While sometimes I will spend Halloween or minor off day holidays with them, The big ones, Christmas and new years are generally reserved for family and other friends. She says that I'm throwing away important parts of our friendship by skipping out on these dates with them (she and her SO have been talking a lot about their plans for new years over the past few weeks while I remained largely quiet on the subject).
I understand she has a right to be upset that I'm not spending new years with them but I don't think she can be mad at me for making that decision. so AITA for not spending new years with them?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
wLNMezfQvttFN4ikUhDghlaieh3qTzOg
|
b7yhj3
|
{
"description": "wanting to spend time with a friend from out of town",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to spend time with a friend from out of town
|
I have been on and off with a guy, let’s call him B, for ~3 years now. in the last few months, things have gotten quite good between us, but he recently moved across the country. We both decided it would be fun for me to visit for the weekend.
I get there on Thursday morning and right off the bat there’s tension. I try initiating sex and get brutally turned down, we move past it though, get brunch and I head off to work.
Fast forward to that evening. I had met up with a few friends to kill time and asked him to meet us for dinner, wanting him to meet my friends and spend time. He was excited about it, but as soon as we started making our way back to his place we got into a huge fight about nothing, and how i was really annoying him. Finally got back to his place, thought things cooled off as we were laughing and cuddling, so again tried to have sex and got told that no means no and he just wasn’t in the mood. Alright. went to bed.
Friday morning we’re laying in bed talking about getting groceries to make breakfast, he keeps making jokes about his dick and how i accidentally touched it and so i was like ok...this has gotta be it. rejected. again. told i was aggressive and pushy and that i need to get people in the mood. this devolves into me being told that i should have just dropped it and laughed it off and instead i should leave and possibly stay at my friends for the night. I left for the day to give him space / i had to work, and then he called a few hours later wanting to meet for dinner. great! we’re near by and went for a couples dinner and had a fun time. after leaving, we all agreed to get another drink and go home, but suddenly he gets a phone call and they talk about going out, so as soon as we get to the bar, he says he wants to go home. no invite for me, just that he is going home.
I was hurt and texted him as such that i wanted to spend time, and he said that he thought me coming over was implied.
Finally saturday, i reach out early in the morning to spend the day, he can’t spend any of the afternoon/ morning with me but we can do dinner. I’m super excited, yes, let’s do a 1:1 dinner tonight. Around 5 he confirms the time, and then an hour later says he needs to get sushi with his friends, and that I’m welcome to meet him for a drink after if i’m up to it. He then calls at 11:30pm saying he’s tired. meanwhile all of my clothes are still at his house- i’ve been wearing the same outfit for 2 days-
the last day rolls around- sunday. I call because i’m leaving that day, and need my things. I come to his apartment and ask to talk for 5 minutes to end things on a better note, and he acts like he’s doing me a favor by talking to me, saying i’m incredibly confrontational, and if i had just walked in here with a good attitude, we could have gone for coffee and had a fun afternoon.
I’m probably forgetting things, but i just need to know, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
w0Vd0v5xVZQTQPt3WpQcEIzGSsd4thIE
|
agiw8d
|
{
"description": "roasting my ex-bestfriend after she cheated",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for roasting my ex-bestfriend after she cheated?
|
this is my second AITA post of the night, i guess a lot of things have been happening recently and im truly curious if im just an asshole.
i will start at the beginning.
4 years ago i was a sophomore in highschool, as was my bestfriend, lets call her C for cheater. C and i were super close, as neither of us had many friends throughout hs. she began dating another mutual friend of our little lunch group, lets call him G for good guy.
C and G have what seems to be the perfect relationship, they date for the next 3 years, everyone agrees they are meant to be... until one evening when C asks me if she should take a certain job opportunity that was really well paying, i encouraged her and so did G.
at this point C and G have been married (went to the courthouse, i believe for financial reasons mostly) for about 4 months. C takes the job, weeks later, G asks her to officially marry as in have a big wedding because they were ready, whips out a nice ring, and C and i are already planning a bachelorette party. keep in mind, G decided he wanted to be an amazing husband, and got her the dream condo that she has always wanted, as well as a puppy. lots of love, my SO and i could tell every time we went over there he was doing his best to make the condo into a home.
fast forward a week, G messages me on SC and says in so many words that C cheated with someone from work... the job that i pushed her to take.
not only cheated, but was very nonchalant and pretty much disgusting about the whole thing: nobody would have ever expected this from her...
fast forward again to current time, i hadnt talked to C in about 2 months, we didnt end on a bad note, though she must have known i didnt want to be within 100 feet of her.
G is torn up, i call him almost nightly to make sure he is OK and see how he is doing, because i can tell he needs someone.
one night, G messages me saying he met up with C again, and wanted to work things out... now this is important because my SO and i made sure to tell him that if he got back with her we would not stick around, simply because we now know the destruction she is capable of.
G says she told him that if they got back together she would most definitely cheat on him: G is torn up once again. he goes on to tell me he is having suicidal thoughts, and will never find anyone, and she f-ed his credit so bad that he is struggling daily.
at this point i am fuming. i message C and tell her horrible things, how she ruined him, how she is lucky that it is 2am or else i would drive to her house and... ya know... i also tell her not to contact G any longer because she is putting him through too much turmoil and basically ruining his mentality once again. i call G and tell him all of this, he is not mad, because her and i used to be bffs so he understands that this is now my business too, especially because he kinda dragged me into it.
guess who calls him two seconds later? yep.. Satan herself... he said "c is calling" so i said "i swear if you hang up on m-" he hangs up. and by this point C has blocked me on everything.
G texted me later saying that he told her to get away and not talk to him anymore unless it was about the divorce.
AITA for messaging her nasty things... do you guys think i should have let him be and let her continue?
side note, she was never honest about the cheating, G had to find out when she went missing for a night...
​
TL;DR ex bestfriend cheats on other bestfriend and i broke down and sent her nasty messages in hopes to help repair bestfriends life, which semi-worked.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
68c14Z5AcX0cc0kD0FERWTyLY7IJh0Nd
|
aplaxw
|
{
"description": "going off on girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for going off on girlfriend!
|
So my girlfriend and i have been dating for over a year 1/2 and we haven't had any major problems in our relationship. Until recently, we have been getting into small tiffs over minuscule issues that i don't see have any real impact over anything. I'm not going to lie on here but i tend to be the jealous type, but i don't let it affect my actions or anything i say to my girlfriend. But even since high school she has been friends with this guy that lived near her neighborhood, this all occurred way before i even met her. They still keep in touch even after having a history together while in high school, but i have met the guy a couple times, he plays basketball at our rival college. He doesn't seem like a bad person but he acts strange around her when i was there. I never say anything about it because it isn't my place to confront her about her friend, so i just bottle it up and seal it away. This morning my girlfriend is at work, and i hear a ring at our doorbell so i get out of bed to see that he had delivered her an edible arrangement, saying "I'm sorry he didn't send you one last year, hope this makes up for it, love ya xxx Happy Valentines Day". This really upset me so when she got home i confronted her and she was adamant defending him saying how they're just friends and how he doesn't have those feeling for me. This just isn't setting right in my head, can you all please help out! Thank you for reading.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
3v9iE2s7EJdlWVgpsbWQKe2KOWzGoY1I
|
ad8tdk
|
{
"description": "not feeling sorry about coming home at 4am",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for not feeling sorry about coming home at 4am?
|
So some context, I’m 21, off at school most of the year and have been home for the last month for break. I leave tomorrow, this happened last night.
Last night was one of my best friend’s 21st birthday, so we did what any good group of friends would do and got him shitfaced drunk until around 2am. then got him home and asleep with his roommate keeping an eye on him. I ended up going home with a girl that lives down my street since we were the last two out. We go to her place until 4 when I head home. Now my dad has cameras all over the house so I’m not even slightly under the impression I can get in without him knowing in the morning, but I do “sneak” in through the back door that’s connected to my room so as to not wake up the entire house.
My dad comes storming in this morning asking why on earth I thought it was okay to come in at 4 and if I was staying over somewhere else to tell them, and that they called me and texted me several times around 3. Then came the “Think about other people besides yourself.” Along with accusing me of sneaking around their backs, and only being sorry for being caught. My mom then starts in on if I wanted to start a life with this girl because staying out to 4am “doesn’t respect their wishes”, and that’s the only reason she could think of for me to be out that late with a girl.
I never got a call, text, or anything from them, the last call I’d gotten was from one of the guys at 10 asking which bar we’d gone to. Also I don’t know what else I could’ve done? Not respect the rules of the girls house and sleep over, or Uber back to my friends house and crash with him while he pukes up his birthday? Like it was either that or come home and I think the correct choice is obvious. At 21 I’ve way grown out of the phase of sneaking around to not get caught by my parents, if I come home late, it happens, and up until now I’ve been home at or before when they’ve told me to be. How can I apologize for something that I genuinely don’t see an issue for. If I was in high school, yea, they’d be 100% in the right, but I’m 21, isn’t it about time to realize this kind of thing might happen sometimes in the very little time I’m home, and that the best thing is to be just a little more understanding? I’d get it a lot more if they just said, “Hey coming home at 4 wasn’t cool, don’t do it again.” And leave it at that, not this whole blown up issue.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
m0IxdbBxc8eHanv6NGmUeIzmTMSfsBAb
|
azc64d
|
{
"description": "calling my now ex-housemate an ungrateful child",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling my now ex-housemate an ungrateful child? (Copied and pasted conversation)
|
In an attempt to keep everything condensed, i can't name all of what he did in detail.
So, he brought 2 freeloaders. Dirty. Cat had fleas. Didn't treat them. I have flea bite scars all over, cuz allergic. He & guests took over living room. I and other housemate dont use it.
1 day, living room fan broke. Asked to tell owner. Owner greenlights maintenance guy (Bob?). Owner is paying for the fix.
We don't use living room, thats his responsibility. Put him in charge for it.
Quick thing : the owner is a saint.
*i'll be damned if i let the owner think we don't appreciate his help. *
1 month later, owner checked in.
Shit housemate claims that bob ghosted him.
(Bob has been responsive to me in my experience so idk)
THEN (Copied and pasted conversation)
Me :
"The owner was told of a problem with our unit, he's being nice enough to check up on us again.
If i tell him bob isn't replying, he'll try to message the guy himself.
Which means the appointments will be made. And it will be even extra shittier if bob comes and you're sleeping, or too high to deal with it.
Him : If you feel like I'm not reliable, you can always just tell him that you don't want it fixed
[RAGE STARTS HERE]
Me : You haven't proven yourself the most appreciative towards help given to you.
As you can see right now, instead of appreciating the owner for his concern and wanting to pay and fix something on an area of the house YOU and your guests usually dwell, you pull off this attitude instead of *fixing* anything
Appreciation is more than just saying thank you. Apologizing is more than just "sorry."
Learn from it, stop being a child already its not fun for anybody.
Him : Where in the text did it say I didn't appreciate him
Me : Your attitude. You are being unappreciative. We gave you our time of day.
Him : I was talking about you. You don't think I'm reliable
Me : Well because look at what the fuck youre doing now
Him : Great no time like the present to tell you. I'm moving out. Find another house mate.
Me : Are you playing victim? You want me to feel sorry for you? I don't.
Him : Oh no not at all. I'm not playing the victim here
Me : Sigh, things say otherwise
Him : I'm here reading messages from you saying that I'm unreliable and unappreciative.
Me : Do you think unreliable and unnapreciative people say "i dont appreciate this"? No, they just dont take help when given. They dont show initiative when everyone else helping them does.
Him : Where are you pulling the unappreciative from anyway
Me : We helped you. The owner helped you. Instead of "ill try to be reliable this time" Youre like, "Well if im unreliable then no need haha" Jesus christ. Disappointing. You are disappointing, and infuriating
Him : Yeah alright. Your opinion on me doesn't matter. I legit dont care what you think about me.
Then it just went on for a while until i said "this isn't going anywhere"
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
RrhTKwoJYv1dDbIg3Sh6NWDaKJxABTLo
|
b3l31n
|
{
"description": "possibly leading a girl on",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for possibly leading a girl on
|
I met someone about a year ago whom ive come to respect and care about as probably the only person i could call a friend, and while our friendship has been great, she knows I have a hard time with stuff like trust and caring about people.
I know she has feelings for me, shes made that pretty apparent, and is currently in the process of leaving an abusive relationship which im very happy for her doing. The issue is I worry that if she does leave that relationship she wilk want to grow ours more, and while i think i do have some feelings for her, i always doubt the outcomes of everything and dont know if i should risk the one friendship i have for a possible relationship.
I dont really know how to get it through to her that im just a friend aside from a straight up talk which i know would hurt her feelings, and i dont know myself if i really just want to be friends.
Would i be the asshole for leaving things as is until i know or should i try to express that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
minGfwoGrkYCYr6xYHpQaVsMaL7e0Xvn
|
b1ywcj
|
{
"description": "accepting a free chicken sandwhich",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for accepting a free chicken sandwhich?
|
I just bought lunch at a place in Chicago that does chicken sandwiches on donuts. They were a little pricey, but fair. I ordered a spicy chicken sandwhich on glazed and fries.
The place was busy but not insanely packed. I heard my name called and when I approached the worker simply said, "spicy chicken?" So I assumed it was mine. I pulled the fries out and started eating them but when I opened the box, it had strips, not a sandwich.
I brought it back up and a cook overheard me and immediately started making the correct order and handed it to me.
However, after my friends and I finish eating, I hear them calling my name again. The place was now empty and I went up, the worker said, spicy chicken on a donut with fries? They definitely made my order twice and I accepted both of them.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
6REWIfnwChOyHx0G12FyqIEmFRLcV9Uu
|
apynai
|
{
"description": "not caring that my roommate's friend killed himself",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not caring that my roommate’s friend killed himself?
|
I live in a house with 3 other girls and 1 of them I do not get along with (for more background info on this roommate, I have a post on r/legaladvice that details her offenses). So to summarize what’s been going on for the passed 2 months, it’s been borderline illegal disputes and common courtesy thrown out the window. Basically she uses her friend’s death to excuse her from any responsibilities; she never cleans, never pays rent and bills on time , treats us all like shit, and constantly threatens suicide and almost brags about the amount of sleeping pills she takes a night in hopes she takes 1 pill too many and kicks the bucket. At first I tried to be there for her (especially after her friend’s suicide 2-3 months ago) and get her help but after she broke into my room just for the sake of spiting me, I have no genuine love for her anymore. I care about her wellbeing but I’m at my wits end with her. After she broke into my room I called her a cunt, a circus monkey following the loudest idiot leading her stupid parade, and that she needed to stay the fuck out of my room and to not touch/take my stuff or I would take her to court. Afterwards she accused me of not understanding her, that I lacked human emotions and understanding because I’m autistic, so I told her (was ex) boyfriend of 5 years shot himself not even a year ago and my best friend killed himself last year and I haven’t and still don’t pull the woe is me card. She called me an asshole and I sarcastically told her I am what I eat and that would make her NyQuil. She ran upstairs crying and screaming that I was an asshole. AITA?
Sorry for grammar, english is my second language.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
FmQonfFYYg02TVDgKKUcXKMi36xbNYyf
|
atk9nh
|
{
"description": "telling my friend to just google it instead of repeatedly asking me for answers",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my friend to just Google it instead of repeatedly asking me for answers
|
My friends and I are in a Discord server, we usually talk about anime tits and games there. We have board exams in two months, but we're still fucking around and not studying that much. One of my friends recently doesn't stay active on discord that much. The only time he's online is to just ask questions about the topic he's studying. Now I didn't have any problems with it at first, but after he's done getting the answer he always says how much he's busy these days and doesn't have time for games and shit. Like bitch nobody fucking wants to listen to you whine every fucking day. So today I took a screenshot of the answer from google and then told him to just google this stuff instead of tagging me. Then he started acting like a bitch, apologizing repeatedly and saying how he thought his "friend" could explain this stuff better to him than google. Then he left the server and made me look like the asshole. So was I the one at fault here?
[image](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/511847445680881667/548555451239759873/unknown.png?width=559&height=640)
​
tl;dr - friend always asks me for answers to simple questions, I tell him to fucking google it. He then gets angry and acts all apologetic making me look like an asshole and leaves the server.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
4ubSBlI5otEr0DQVZ9yfr9bAhynbNAp1
|
agd129
| null |
AITA dear friend maybe going back to his ex
|
So my dear friend lets call him johny broke up with his ex gf. He was with his ex for about 3 years. (She broke up)
Johny every night complained and cried about their relationship to me. Telling me that he wants to end the relationship and he doesnt love her or that he wants to killhinself. That he cant do it anymore.
He told me that if he said something wrong his ex would treathen to kill herself or that she would hurt herself.
She also controlled him a lot. he couldnt talk to friends or to other girls but only to her. He cant meet his friends at all. But she could and see no problem with it. They never met in real life, she always made excuses why they cant meet (long distance 2h drive)
So they broke up few months ago and now she is texting to Johny again.
Ever since their break up he has been after her and only thinking about her. Now I got super pissed when Johny told me about how he still loves her and wants to be again with her (and also got confused cuz i thought it was opposite?). he knows she is toxic and immature.
Since their break up his self esteem has risen and he feels alright. At the beging he was a mess but then after some days he started to feel better. He stopped writing suicide notes and cutting.
Im afraid that if he gets back to her it will fall apart again. And to be honest i dont know if i have the strenght to comfort him.
AITA?
(Sorry for my english)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
mX20nCBjKUHCNiuRZ6ZD1whMMZo2qDL3
|
a47kxi
|
{
"description": "not wanting my mom to come to my graduation",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my mom to come to my graduation?
|
Hi all, I'm on mobile so I hope this is an easy read.
My grandmother died 3 years ago from ALS. Since her death i became a huge hypochondriac. And my mom knows this. I love my mom to death but I think she has mental health issues, but i can't tell for sure. She can seem manipulative sometimes but I love her so much i just can't force myself to see her that way even though my husband has told me she is.
A couple months ago she texts me asking me to ask my dad (they are divorced) for rent money. My dad doesn't have a lot of money but he does buy them food. She threatened him over the text that if he doesn't give her money she will send some of my uncles to talk some sense into him. Then at the end of the text she told me she is seeing the first signs of ALS because shes in so much pain.
My heart DROPPED. This is my biggest fear. But I also wrote back that it wasnt fair she did that to me and that ALS does not present itself with pain initially and I thought she was fucking with me.
Since then I have been OBSESSED with the idea of having ALS my self. I have read all of the medical journals on it. EVERYTHING. Ive been twitching and i have a phantom like feeling on my leg that i keep doing strength tests on my self every day and talking to everyone about this. I became hooked on finding out if i have it or not. It ruined my life. I just got done with finals and my bachelors graduation is tomorrow. It will be with family and friends. But I have been so miserable with anxiety i haven't been able to be happy about anything. Even though i have a good life. The anxiety is unforgiving.
Shes coming to my graduation tomorrow and im secretly wishing i didn't invite her. I feel So guilty about having this feeling. But she broke my heart.
I called her today and kept asking her if she really did have als. She said she has fibromyalgia. But i know that if she did have als she wouldn't tell me for sure because she wouldn't want to worry me. (But I'm pretty sure she used that to make me feel bad for my dad to give her rent money)
AITA for having these feelings against my mom? :(
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4Wa5F33LrPsscIwJaAsuxWitL0f16UjX
|
ayk1xp
|
{
"description": "disliking being talked to like my cat",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for disliking being talked to like my cat?
|
It sounds strange but hear me out. My wife and I recently got a cat and everything was great for a while, until I realized that sometimes she talks to me the same way she talks to the cat.
For example, before we had the cat if I came home from work after a hard day and told her about it she would say "Aw, you poor baby" or something similar. Now, we have the cat and if the cat gets scared by the doorbell (or anything really) then she says that exact same thing to the cat IN THE EXACT SAME TONE as she would if she were talking to me.
This is just one example, but this has led to us getting in a lot of small fights because I've asked her to stop saying phrases like this to me (or at least change how she says them) if she's also going to say them to the cat. She claims she says them to both of us the same way because it's how she is and how she talks to things that she loves (which is really cute but doesn't stop my irritation).
I get that they're common things to say but being talked to like our cat really doesn't sit right with me. Am I blowing this out of proportion? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
XIYxeOy9Ah1UEVz8b4KCNkWLo6adry6W
|
b514p3
|
{
"description": "not being more proactive in my brother's college financial aid process",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not being more proactive in my brother's college financial aid process?
|
I'm 23, my little brother is 17 and a senior in high school so he's been going through the applications process to go to college. I've tried to be supportive throughout because our parents are immigrants and really have no idea how this works. I handled all my applications and financial aid forms myself, asking guidance counselors when I didn't know how to do something. I expected my brother to be similar, and to come to me when he reached a point of "I know I have to submit these things but I don't know where to find them or I don't know how to fill them out."
Throughout the applications process my mom has been hounding him to apply until he finally submits his applications the night they're due. I've been offering to help with financial aid stuff when he gets to it. I know you have to fill out FAFSA and the College Board CSS profile as an incoming freshman, I'm unaware of what the specific colleges he's applying to want. So I ask him "when do you want to fill out the FAFSA?" for a couple months until we finally sit down and do it together. I ask him about the CSS profile and he says he doesn't need to do it, so I assume things have changed and don't bring it up again.
This came to a head recently, as he's been denied from his top choice school, wait listed from other schools we thought he'd get into, and only has a couple acceptances. Then he says that he's missing some financial aid forms, including the CSS profile and some forms that one of the accepting schools wants that were apparently due back in January. We fill out the forms and submit them. My mom is now incredibly worried about how much aid he's gonna get because these forms were submitted so late, and we're a very poor family (I graduated with less than $10k debt because I was fortunate enough to receive a lot of financial aid).
tl;dr little brother was irresponsible while applying to colleges, submitting applications late and being completely unaware of forms to submit for financial aid, am I the asshole for not being proactive in making sure he submitted everything on time?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
FZMpxD620XC7exnZ3ftIKsisp0o3lxVi
|
ahz7t0
|
{
"description": "getting upset that my dad wants to take away my new phone that he gave me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting upset that my dad wants to take away my new phone that he gave me
|
So here is a little backstory: our family upgraded two phones to iPhone 8+s. I \[15m\] had an iPhone 5 at the time so we figured that I could get an upgrade. However, my dad thinks that I am "spoiled" even though I don't get presents for Christmas nor do I have any money, and I do not ask for gifts. He wants to take away the new phone and give me my old iPhone 5 instead. He owns an iPhone 8+, an old Ipad(idk the version), and an iPhone 6+. He says that "no kid carries around such an expensive phone" even though all my friends have at least the 6E. Should I be mad with him? this is my first post so sorry about format
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
wHvfsgionXAIvp0emPm2nyVL43KvMxFB
|
a8q0ec
|
{
"description": "not visiting an old friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not visiting an old friend?
|
(Sorry, this is hard to encapsulate but I'll try) I have had a certain friend for about 45 years. We were best friends in High School. We still keep in touch and have an emotional connection, but sometimes she makes me feel like she really doesn't care that much about me.
For instance: I have meditated for about 30 years. All at once she is spending a kagillion dollars to go study meditation with a nationally recognized Buddhist guy, so she can teach meditation. She has never meditated before, and has never asked me to teach her, even though I teach meditation. If I offer an opinion on anything, it's dismissed pretty quickly. I honestly don't think it's about me, but it gets tedious.
A few times in the last couple of years I have just come right and said I'm not sure why we are still friends since she doesn't seem to be interested in my opinions about ANYTHING!
Now, my husband and I are going to be travelling to an area not far from where she lives. She is assuming that we'll come and visit, but we don't care for the city she lives in and really have no reason to go. When we visit her we just sit around her house. Her husband comes to visit us, and she travels all over the place, but has only been to my house once. In other words, she lets me do all the work. At least that's the way I feel about it now.
So my question is, do I really need to go see her? How can I get out of it without looking like an a-hole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ivqiEL4430AkHfiC8hjJqAQe1jLAv4gd
|
a5ekka
|
{
"description": "refusing to pay my new roommate's old roommate",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for refusing to pay my new roommate’s old roommate?
|
I just moved to a new state and am staying with my boyfriend’s mom until I can move in with one of his friends. I moved specifically because she said I could live with her. Right now she shares an apartment with a roommate who I will call Madison. I hate Madison because I know from my boyfriend’s friend that she is a huge racist.
The plan was that Madison would move out and I would move in once she was out. However, after I already got here, Madison let me know that she won’t move out until I pay her back for the security deposit she put down when she first signed the lease. I don’t want to pay her because she’s a huge racist and I don’t see it as my responsibility to pay her. I also do have money saved up but not enough to be able to afford rent after I pay this deposit. I’ve told Madison all of this but she says she also can’t afford to leave unless I pay her because she has to put down a deposit for a new apartment, and so she is refusing to leave. Boyfriend’s friend wants to stay out of it as she thinks it’s between Madison and I.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
rSvTPXtcaK8qOoc2K91LI5dorWZfclGg
|
b2jw4s
|
{
"description": "\"breaking\" with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for "breaking" with my friend?
|
Hello everyone! I just had this question for y'all:
AITA?
We (my group of friends and me) go to the cinema to watch movies, so we were planning to watch Avengers: Endgame which is going to be on our local cinema the 26th of April. The thing is that it's a Friday and i have to go to the university that day at the hour of the movie but it will be the next day on the cinema too so i said that we could go the Saturday all thogether because of myself being on the university and one started to convince the other to put me aside if the movie and watch themselves the movie. They all accepted and left me outside of the "event" of going to watch the movie.
So i started to say if we could go the saturday (again) and they answered that they wanted to see the movie the first day it's here, on our city.
Since then i started to ignore the one who started the whole thing, whenever he asked me something i said a simple "No."
Now they say i overreacted only for a movie but i have been waiting since Avenger Infinity War and they really knew that.
So... AITA?
Sorry for any typos or bad sentences that they aren't coherent between each other. English isn't my native language.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
mQAwUnKr2NxU6vVSytgUPWtRSQs8saP3
|
a8ls9d
|
{
"description": "not taking dance lessons with my girl friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For not taking dance lessons with my girl friend?
|
She wants to learn how to do the tango and stuff, and wants to take lessons for it. I personally don’t want to take lessons, but I’d told her we could compromise with YouTube tutorials. Then she said it’s ok she’ll take them with one of her guy friends. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
DfhhlCJ8wq8UfgtJSJ4LIMgor2B2Czse
|
b2emwr
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my boyfriend because I realized I had feelings for someone else",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I broke up with my boyfriend because I realized I had feelings for someone else?
|
I posted this in r/relationship_advice too.
I (24F) and my bf (24M) had been dating casually since about September, and in December I decided that we should become exclusive because 1) I wasn’t seeing anyone else at the time 2) it felt like we were already in an exclusive relationship anyway 3) I didn’t know how to introduce him to friends and family. It was kinda like, “oh well, I guess we might as well. When we made it official, the only thing that really changed was the title. I was fine with the way things were before and I’m fine with how things are currently, but I’m now faced with a dilemma. Recently an old flame (more like an old crush) came back into the picture. We started hanging out and talking more, and I realized that I still had romantic feelings for him. Around this time my bf also said that I was the “love of his life”. I love him, and I really like him romantically, but I already know that we do not feel the same way about each other. All of these events have made me reflect on my decision to make this relationship exclusive in the first place. I know it would bother me to see my bf with someone else, but I don’t feel like that’s a good reason to keep being in a relationship with him, especially if my heart is wandering. WIBTA if I broke up with him/went back to just dating him casually because I wanted to start dating other people casually again? I feel like breaking up would be somewhat extreme, but it also feels wrong to tether him to my side because of my worries.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
WsLlC8V3V1ATPxF2QzaWs3FoD7XarIuL
|
9y17kq
|
{
"description": "being pissed at future mother in law for bringing a contagious virus into our home",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being pissed at future mother in law for bringing a contagious virus into our home?
|
My (f36) fiancés (m35) mother and father came to visit this week. This is always a stressful time for him because his mother is very her way or the highway.
At dinner the evening they arrived, his mother told us a ridiculously long and elaborate story that ended with her pulling a muscle in her ass playing tennis. She was clearly in a lot of pain through the evening.
The next morning while I was at work, fiancé texted me that he had taken his mother to the ER because she has shingles- that was the real cause of the pain.
I didn’t know a lot about shingles, but his family does because his brother has had it a couple times. His parents stayed like it was no issue (other than her constant wincing in pain) for the rest of their visit (only 2 days).
I am extremely upset because his mother knowingly brought a virus into our home when it was at it’s most contagious state. It was also on a part of her body that made transmission more likely (toilet seat). She also blatantly lied to our faces about what she thought it was (his father told us after that she has had a rash where she “pulled a muscle” for several days prior). She didn’t know if I was pregnant, my experience with chicken pox, that I am a clean freak and borderline hypochondriac. Shingles is also not like a cold - the effects from the virus can be very painful and long lasting. I strongly feel they should have canceled their trip and planned for another time. They are both retired so there is no reason they couldn’t have.
I spoke with my fiancé after they left. He was bothered as well and completely understands why I am upset. He has always had a difficult time getting her to respect his wishes. On top of all that, his mother bitched a lot about her other daughter in law to me, telling me all the things she does behind her back with her grandkids, because her daughter in law would “have a fit is she knew.”
AITA because I want to confront her about lying to us? Or because now I don’t feel comfortable leaving her alone with children we may have in the future?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
sbYvqcX1Adt9yNdrtJQ8wajMBFxNZRzg
|
a77f0s
|
{
"description": "Telling Someone that my friend isn't dead",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for Telling Someone that my Friend Isn't Dead?
|
I was on discord just a few hours ago, on a server with me and a bunch of friends. I was the only on online until some random guy got on. This is a private server btw so invites only. I knew it had to be someone that one of my friends knew, so I treated them as I friend, like I would with anyone. They urgently asked if my friend was ok (using their discord name not their real life name) because my friend hadn't been active on that guy's server for a long time. I was muted at the time on the server so I had to dm the guy. I told him that he was fine and he replied saying that he thought he was dead. I said we are taking care of him and that he's fine. Then right after that, the guy got removed from the server and my friend dm'd me. He asked if I invited that guy and I said no. It was true, neither me nor him knew who invited him. He asked what I said and I told him what I just told you. (I never said my friends real name at all during this entire thing) He then got really serious and mad saying that it was super important. I asked why and he didn't respond. Then he started talking about how he does not trust me anymore because I gave out "personal" information to random people on the internet. He then banned me from his server. (a little side note in that I also told the random guy that my friend had just come out, which is a joke that runs in our friend group, but that doesn't seem like a big deal cuz it's a joke and it's a lie so if it was some random person then it wouldn't really matter. But I didn't tell my friend that because he said he was super serious and I dont think it's a big problem.) Am I the asshole for talking to this random guy about general stuff?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
f4rdA0mb7GukswSt1YfewbGKx8BaAzPe
|
aa18h9
|
{
"description": "caring for my ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For caring for my ex
|
Hey there! Thanks, first of all, thank you for taking the time to read this.
​
I was in a Long Distance Relationship with this cute girl from the opposite hemisphere for 4 years and a half, we talked every day for hours at an end, I helped her through some really awful times in her life as well through some very suicidal months, likewise, she helped me through some awful times of mine.
She suffers from some mental illnesses and she was taking medication for that as well as some other things, I encouraged her on anti-depressants due to her family situation, where she was not abused, but one of her parents is terminally ill and she cares for them.
Recently before the break up, I had been busy due to being close to graduation from the military academy, but I still did my best to be with her despite everything and we were happy, until she started to grow distant more and more, being depressed for seemingly no reason, and spending less time with me. I was devastated, but tried to understand her and still was there with her, I had bought an airplane ticket to go visit her, and so it was set, I logged onto my computer to tell her I had requested leave for a while, and had bought a ticket to go visit her.
That day, before I could even tell her, she dumped me with a massive text wall that was unlike her writing at all, claiming she was just not attracted to me anymore, trust me - you know somebody's writing style after 4 years of chatting with somebody over voice and text, and acted extremely could, although we stayed "best friends" since we both cared for each other
I burned the ticket in a fit of emotion, which sucked in hindsight, I could have at least gone sightseeing or something.
A little less than two weeks later, she told me she has got a new group of partners (We were monogamous, although she flirted with the idea of being poly once) and spoke to me about them, they seemed extremely manipulative at times and not very attached to her, she introduced me to them a few times through multiple opportunities, and they were quite harsh and respectful of me.
Her entire family, she told me, is around "15 or more" people, she isn't even sure, but she claimed to be happy, from what little we speak, she seems to be growing erratic and I'm concerned she might have been encouraged by them to go off her meds or something.
​
So reddit, AITA for all of this? I can't help but feel bad for being unable to let go of her or something, and maybe that I'm just paranoid over her new partners or something.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
RUzBcoKf2WTYPHWEKhq2D5ecvb8w6hqV
|
ae41vi
|
{
"description": "wanting to kick a guy out of our friend group and actively trying to",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For wanting to kick a guy out of our friend group and actively trying to
|
I hang out with a group of 8 or so people and we get together every week or so to hang out and just chill or go out together. We also all go to school together so we all see each other everyday. It’s a friendly school for the most part too, and it’s a everyone is cool with everyone sort of deal.
One guy who we hang out with though is so toxic and aggravating. Everyone knows it too and feels like it would be better off without him, but we mainly only say it privately. He’s extremely difficult and stubborn and turns everything into an argument. He also tends to victimize himself and say a bunch of annoying shut about how he’s stupid or ugly or lazy over and over again. Also, we all joke around and insult each other but he acts like we always are only make fun of him.
We repeatedly tell him that we find the way he acts really annoying but he just brushes it of or makes it about how he’s annoying everyone to get pity ( which he never ever gets)
Anyway we talked about preventing him from hanging out with us but it never really came to anything. We are sort of mean to him when we talk just because he’s so aggravating. Admittedly I’m probably the worst to him and I just go off on him sometimes. At one point I started being really harsh just so he would stop hanging out with us. It worked for a day when he said he wasn’t going to anymore but then he came back.
I know that that makes me sound like the worst but in my defense he never changes his behavior ever. We tell him to stop doing something like being self insulting because it’s annoying as fuck and he never stops. We ask him to stop saying stuff thats really annoying and he never stops and when we ask him he just does it more or is self insulting again. Basically am I an asshole for intentionally being a jerk to him to try to get him to stop hanging out with us when everyone feels the same?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
oVXVWImdrbW4NyWg2y9yobUJHYd8OrOB
|
b98czk
|
{
"description": "distancing myself from a moody friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for distancing myself from a moody friend?
|
​
I've known my friend (from now on known as Mark) for a few years now, and he is in general a positive, fun, and supportive guy. But at times, he can be very irritable and moody for seemingly small reasons, and takes it out from me, which seriously drains my mood and triggers my anxiety. For example, if he has to wake up too early for our planned trip he gets irritable and sassy, often replying back to me in a passive-aggressive tone. Or if I miss a turn or something Mark will make comments like how I don't know how to drive (in a non-comedic, sarcastic, tone). I've brought this up in the past about how little tone shifts/comments like this can make me feel and how they trigger my anxiety, but nothing really has changed. To his defense, when things like this happen I don't always speak up about it, and rather I (childishly) return the passive aggressive behavior so in effect his bad mood transfers to me. So lately I've been distancing myself from him and stopped hanging out with him as much as my other friends, which he called me out on.
On one hand I feel like I'm just being dramatic/overly-sensitive, that everybody has a bad mood every now and then, and that Mark overall is still a supportive and nice friend. On the other hand, I feel like my feelings are valid, and I have no obligation to be friends with someone for any reason: if i have a choice to pick between a positive, supporting friend, and a positive supporting friend that sometimes gets in passive aggressive bits, I am free to choose the former.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
BNVRMhe7j2xdrEPXMhH372DvtilDpL3V
|
b1532n
|
{
"description": "not allowing my mil to call my daughter by a nickname",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 24
}
|
AITA for not allowing my MiL to call my daughter by a nickname?
|
My MiL, Rose, and I don’t have the best relationship so I want an unbiased perspective on the situation. Hopefully, I can present it as such.
Rose has another granddaughter that is 9 years old. Everyone calls her “chi-chi”, her real name is Amber. When I asked how the nickname came about, I was told that Rose had a dream that she had a granddaughter named chi-chi when her daughter was pregnant. This is before they had her real name picked out.
Rose has dubbed my daughter “Chulie”. At first, I didn’t know if this was a Spanish (my MiL is Cuban) term of endearment or not but later found out it isn’t. I’ve asked her multiple times to stop using the name, especially while she’s still learning her actually name.
Her defense is that “she responds to it more than she does to her actual name”. This is because she watches her while my wife and I are at work, roughly 8 hours a day. I told her that she’s still learning her name and she would respond to anything she was called by 8 hours a day.
I thought Rose had stopped calling her by the name around July, around my daughters first birthday. However, when family came to visit at Christmas time, I heard it again and threatened to kick them out of my house.
Some points to consider:
-My mom is Vietnamese and calls her youngest grandchild a term of endearment, but not as a replacement for their name.
-my siblings and I all go by nicknames, but ones we gave ourselves in childhood. Not one that was assigned while in the womb.
-this nickname was also chosen prior to my wife and I deciding on a name (not sure if it came to her in a dream this time, though)
I understand that this is something grandmas do, but I’m personally not a fan of the name and don’t want it to stick with our extended family.
Sorry for any spelling/grammar errors. I’m currently on mobile.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 22,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 30,
"WRONG": 24
}
|
RIGHT
|
V9DE9C5V3Re0B4pW8ltF0JbHf4tq8mXv
|
auzo2j
|
{
"description": "hating my teacher",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For hating my teacher
|
So basically the deal is my teacher always yell at my class for being noisy which to be fare we are but my feeling is he keeps yelling at us everyday but he doesn't do anything make the situation better all he does is yell and sometimes he even lives the class and this is why I dislike him AITA For thinking this way by the way I just want you to know that I'm not usually a noisy kid but he yells at the class I can't help but think his talking to me that's all please give me your opinion
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
oyrRzT6GVkPgvG2YnLh76uuDgEcewvHq
|
aj2zji
|
{
"description": "not wanting my so to get into vaping",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting my SO to get into vaping?
|
My SO has been getting into vaping quite a bit recently and I don’t mind trying it on the rare occasion but not often they want to buy a vape and have it more I talked to her about it saying I care about her heath and I don’t want her to damage it plus it’s expensive to do and I don’t want her wasting her money on something pretty useless. She feels like I’m being too controlling about that. Also I think I would be a bit of a hypocrite because I’ve done it before to not that much but definitely I bit of times here and there I told her if she does get one get one with 0 nic because that will cause the least damage. She said she keeps getting told that and she’s tired of hearing it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
AGJ81XOxQH97crdlLg0kdUEvrXtUUfEa
|
awjg3y
|
{
"description": "telling my friend their crush is not interested in them and to move on",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend their crush is not interested in them and to move on?
|
She and I are friends for about 2 years now and always comes talk to me for advice, let's call her Kelly. So Kelly and I are talking in school when she tells me she's sent an anonymous letter to her crush and is very nervous. I tell her that she should go tell him if she was completely serious on being with him, which she tells me she isn't, so I tell her that she should think things over. Two days pass and she and her friends invite my friends to a restaurant where the subject pops again. She tells me she isn't sure he likes her back so I ask her why she thinks that. She says her crush wanted to talk privately with her and was very serious with her, something that isn't very normal. I again ask her if she's completely sure in being with him, which she tells me no. I tell her she shouldn't move forward then since a) she isn't even sure b) I thought her crush didn't like her. She agrees and everything moves on. Just yesterday however, she tells me her crush hasn't talked with her and that her crush's friend told her how he was interested in her but she didn't do anything. And so, just this morning I wake up to two messages saying how it was all my fault and that she hates me. I feel really bad and responsible for what happened. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3INVc4kXKOyMaLv3QY93fC0VYsE8WuGY
|
b6qdfj
| null |
AITA Lost a Friend over How I Conveyed my Concern
|
I had known this girl for about 2 and a half years in school by the time we started talking (let's call her S). I say talking but I mean messaging each other talking about our days, sharing funny secrets of friends, how school was hard, etc. I had always joked around with one of her friends (call them E). I'd call E ignorant or something, she'd call me dumb. Granted this girl E asked a teacher during class in front of everyone what Hooters was because I told a friend a stupid joke, we laughed, she overheard.
​
Fast forward a while, I hear from a friend S had thrown up in a class. I don't think much of it. I leave class late and start hustling to lunch, walk through the hall and no one is there. I turn a corner and I see S with E and a couple of their friends I know. As I walk alongside of them I mention I had heard of her throwing up. One of their friends says "What is wrong with you." with a disgusted face and shocked voice. I'm a little confused here and I wonder what triggered it, I probably made some stupid fucking face maybe smiled or said it like an ass and made it seem like I thought it was funny or something. I say sorry if I offended you and as I walk away either S or one friend says "Don't ever talk to S again."
After school I message S sorry and that I had no intention of making her upset something like that. I don't have the messages as after that I blocked her because she said she didn't want to talk again. I'm very self concious about my appearance in public, in that I mean my facial expressions and postures. I'm sure I made a mistake with the way I said it but am I the asshole. Should I have tried to keep talking to her or was cutting off all contact fine. I am now at a different school and have not talked to her or heard anything about her in a year.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
MERngbaKBICSORD4tGZyUJdLwcL53Xyr
|
ba75wt
|
{
"description": "telling my brother to get off his ass and do something to get his crush",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my brother to get off his ass and do something to get his crush?
|
So, my brother, Nate, has a huge crush on this girl, let's call her Kenzie. I know for a fact a guy on my swim team (let's call him Ryan) is flirting with her and plans to ask her out.
So I gave Nate a heads-up about it. He just whined about Kenzie would date Ryan. I told him, he should ask out Kenzie now before Ryan can. He just said he couldn't do that, since Ryan's already flirting with her and he's way more popular and hot than my brother. That's kinda overdramatic, imo. Ryan is popular and good looking, but Nate's not a lonely bridge troll either. I told Nate it's his choice, but I see it this way: if he asked out Kenzie, there's some percentage chance she says yes. If he doesn't, that's a default zero.
He just got mad at me and said I don't get it cause I'm popular. Again, I feel like he's being dramatic: I'm not that popular. But this made him even angrier.
Am I in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
njwU2lp9Y0XTZO02Y4GaOeDnj4SyJvaL
|
b7r9ff
|
{
"description": "not getting my mother a Mother's Day card",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for not getting my mother a Mother’s Day card?
|
For context I am 21M still living with my mom and her boyfriend.
A couple weeks ago my moms bf text me with an Amazon link to a present my mom would like for Mother’s Day. It wasn’t anything big, it only cost about 20$ so I said thanks and ordered it and went about my life as usual. Fast forward to today and I handed my mom the present (unwrapped) and said Happy Mother’s Day. She was examining the present and asked where her card was. I said I never got one, she and her bf sort of scoffed. I just left the room after that.
I got a text a couple minutes later from her bf. The first three words were “You’re an asshole.” Then he went on to say it was never about the present and more can be said in a sentence on a card and that it was my job to show love affection and support. He finished by saying a little thought might work.
I felt like telling him to fuck off but I understand where he is coming from. I would understand a lot more if it was her birthday or it was Christmas (I would always get a card for an occasion like that) but I just didn’t think buying a Mother’s Day card would have such negative repercussions. I didn’t reply to the text and I haven’t spoke to either of them since. This was like an hour ago.
In future I’ll always buy a card to accompany a present but my question is: did I deserve the text from him calling me an asshole? I didn’t mean to be one. I didn’t think that because I got her a present but not a card I’d look like one. The text came across as super confrontational and it made me feel like shit. To be honest I was a little surprised I never got a thank you before I received that text calling me out. Now I know why.
Am I The Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
MOtFn9kxjQCxWzoXVsds5jgTUDFrgu5s
|
az5mac
|
{
"description": "pirating a game after already paying for it",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA If I pirate a game after already paying for it?
|
To put this into context, several years ago I bought a legit copy of [KSP](https://www.kerbalspaceprogram.com/game/kerbal-space-program/) from the official website. You had to make an account to do this, and your game ownership is linked to your account. A while back i stopped playing, and have gotten a new computer since then.
Recently I have been interested in starting to play again, but I have been unable to log back into my account (I dont even know with what email I made it with), and I have tried everything, but I cannot seem to get my copy back.
​
WIBTA if I pirate if off some other website, even though I already payed for it and suppourted the developer?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
xomkrXUbPVvc2Qro6ICErbXoHqKFwrYN
|
a6vq4i
|
{
"description": "feeling this way about my ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For feeling this way about my ex
|
Necessary background:
I (17M) dated this girl (17F) for 11 months. She was my first love, and it hurt beyond words when she dumped me. I always wanted to be with her, never even thinking about getting sick of her.
We were friends on and off a few times, we ended up having sex twice, once during the summer and once in early November.
The day after Thanksgiving (in the middle of a time where we were on good terms and talking to each other) she says she misses us. We talked for a while, and she ended up saying she regretted dumping me, how amazing I was to her, how I was her high-school sweetheart, etc. (I didn't feel deceived by this, she would occasionally mention how well I treated her when we were talking about our past before). We keep talking and end up deciding to go on a date to see if we want to date again.
A week later we go on a date, and in the middle of it, she said she does want to date. We both said we'd think about it and decide, I was under the impression that we'd both have a decision after the date, but I knew I wanted to date her before the date so I was happy when she said she wanted to date.
2 days later, she comes over to my house, we were both tired from our Friday nights, so we basically just nap the entire time.
The next day, she calls me and says dating again was a mistake, I should stay away from her cuz all she does is hurt me, unless I want to be friends with her (this shows me she only told me to stay away from her because it would make her sound good. If she genuinely thought that she wouldn't even suggest being friends). I tell her I don't want to be around her and that that was a good idea.
My stance on this whole thing: I believe she is really good at being indecisive, and she let her constant need for male attention cloud her decision making, along with her loneliness (she ended up messaging a mutual friend who she said she'd never talk to again because he did shitty stuff to her recently. She texted him reminiscing about the times that they dated, despite telling me she hated him, never wanted to talk to him again, and calling him an idiot even before they were on bad terms). I just think she isn't very smart when it comes to social matters.
A week later I text her to clarify that Im not talking to her because of her stupid, careless decisions, not because she "keeps hurting me". We previously planned to have a final goodbye before we left for college, and I told her I didn't want that to happen.
This is for 2 reasons: this huge mess she made, and the fact that she sees me as clingy and compares me to "a lost puppy dog". she frequently mentioned this when we were talking about dating again, and how she didn't want me to latch on to her, even though we ended up both agreeing I didn't do that. I don't want to have a final goodbye because of her stupid decision and because she sees me as clingy.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
m0EIoo60HUj38xnLLttcNmIoOdxHYB19
|
auohae
|
{
"description": "failing to communicate",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for failing to communicate?
|
About 6 month ago I had gotten into a relationship with a girl and it lasted for about 2 months. It was both our first relationship. We mutually broke up because exams were coming for college and we were both going to different ones. I believe that both of us we really sad about it but we both promised that this relationship was more ‘experimental’ than an actual long-lasting relationship and it should not affect our future relationships.
The summer before college a friend (for 4 years) from the same high school wanted to ask me out right after I had broken up with my previous relationship. He was gay and I believed that I was bisexual (but I guess I am actually asexual). My response was that I wasn’t really looking for a relationship but I would think about it,
2 weeks later both my ex and him text me around midnight calling me and asshole for not giving him a proper response. My ex says that my poor communication skills is the reason we broke up (but I had called her for 2 hours each day, but not relevant here). We were all angry and I especially was surprised at my ex showing up to this conversation. I ended up blocking the guy but not my ex because I wanted to talk to her about it but she kept saying that we should just stop talking.
Are my communication skills bad?
Later today or this week I am going to have a serious conversation with the guy who asked me out to work things out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
se5t32WiJwDaMwM3qVoUDAjOMoTEGWZc
|
alzaf6
|
{
"description": "scolding a guy for leaving us waiting",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for scolding a guy for leaving us waiting?
|
So im part of a leadership youth group and we often do meetings at universities at the afternoon, and usually when we finish it's already dark outside, today we all agreed to meet at a restaurant after the meeting. We were done at 9pm, the university was already closed, no students, almost no lights and our cars were the only ones in the parking lot, my friend Jessica, and me were going to my car, when other member of the group asked us if he could ride with us to the restaurant, we said yes.
He told us he had to do something in the lobby and to meet him there, we get into the car and drived close to the lobby and the gates, everyone else was in their way to the restaurant and we waited 10 minutes for him. I was starting to get anxious because it was really dark, this is a dangerous city and my friend and me are both youg girls in an empty parking lot.
After those ten minutes he calls and tells my friend he was already on his way to the restaurant! He had asked other membets if he could ride with them, when we had already told him it was ok to ride with us, and were waiting for him by the lobby (as he instructed us).
I'm usually a really laid back and shy person, but that made ne furious, I felt my time and security wasn't respected. When we arrived at the restautant I asked him to meet me outside. I scold him pretty harshly, callying him a "pendejo" wich can translate to "dumb as fck", and told him what he did was pretty iresponsible and disrespectful. He was really surprise for the scolding and looked really ashamed, he seemed sorry, so i started to calm down.
We went inside as if everything was ok, but he clearly looked like a puppy someone just kicked on the street. I started to feel bad about it, was I an asshole? Did I overreacted?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
FjAXRMxjtdjBFx1nTkYOedv6A4BqiHfG
|
9wpbsf
|
{
"description": "insulting his sister in front of his life long friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for insulting his sister in front of his life long friends?
|
Neighbor I've been on/off seeing had his son's birthday party. At said birthday party, his older sister who is beautiful and incredibly fit for her age was ridiculing her own weight incessantly and started telling one of neighbors life long friends how she could lose weight, continuously ridiculing herself even though she's got to be about 110 pounds and his life long friend is thick but carries it well. L.L.F. made eye contact with me multiple times like "good lord", and I kind of giggled and we both proceed to tell her she looks great for her age.
Many hours later, I'm half drunk as shit, and start babbling about how I found that insulting, that they both look great, and she needed to leave it alone, I felt like she was being crude to L.L.F, but all of the friends turn icy as hell at me. I apologized, I don't know the sister enough to know her intentions, but I guess I'm so used to how my family talks to each other, which is fully through funny but cruel criticism.
I walk inside to tell my neighbor what I did, that I unintentionally spoke shit about his sister, and apologized, while still not thinking myself terribly wrong. Gave all details of conversation. Apologized sincerely for out of turn words on his family,how it wasn't kind or my place because I didn't know her well enough.
Went outside again.
Every word I spoke afterwords was blatantly ignored or ridiculed and finally I drunkenly stumble away.
Haven't spoken to neighbor since.
I have been nothing but helpful to my neighbor, we've been decent friends for months, have been confidants, and I help out with his children a lot.
I've been kind of suspecting him trying to back off of me, he's just gotten out of a ten year relationship and has said he wanted nothing serious, but our drunken talks had been creeping that way. I suspect this is a good out for that.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
8jFATpEChlLZDKXh63fchdX0YcVrDoAC
|
antv3f
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my boyfriend because of his friendship with his ex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because of his friendship with his ex?
|
So this happened about a month ago. BF and I have been dating for a year and a half, and there's always been (in my mind) an issue of his ex. He likes to be friends with his exes. That's fine. Ideally, I wouldn't want them in our lives and for the most part that's true. However, his most recent ex (BF broke up with her 3 yrs ago, dated for 5) lives in our small city and they chat on messenger and meet up in groups and sometimes alone to hang.
Nothing inherently wrong with that. Again, if they were just solid wholesome friends I wouldn't feel weird about it. I'm not the jealous type and am not envious of her because personally I don't think she has a handle on her shit. He doesn't want anything romantic to happen between them and I believe him.
Anyways, there were a lot of red flags that made me uncomfortable about their 'friendship'. A quick timeline of things...
\- One drunk night she suggested they date again a couple months before BF and I met (I'm a believer that being drunk doesn't make you a liar it makes you just say what's on your mind).
\- She sent a long, drunk, text last Jan about how it's not fair that he's still in town and potentially moving in with me (not true), he explained that they need a break from each other until things cool off (at my request).
\- During those next few months she was sending passive aggressive texts at him whenever he missed a group hangout (I never told him not to go but yeea he did the right thing) and she would offer to lend an ear if he needed to talk about his personal problems (death in the family, she didn't know them well). It felt like a gross overstep on her part.
She was always quite cold towards me and inferred at times that I was superficial. I felt like she didn't put in any effort to be at least kind with me, which is important if you want to be good friends with your ex/bf.
But here's where I think he done wrong. They started talking and hanging out again (sometimes alone sometime with friends) and he never really told me about when this started up again. It began late summer '18. I felt gaslit when I told him I felt weird about her, oh and one night after reading her angry text messages (he passed me his phone b/c I wanted to see her January drunk text), I saw that she wrote "understood why I, r/noireau, would be jealous of her" a night after they hung out. I think he had attempted to explain why they didn't hang out for a while. Anways, I got realll pissed off about that. We talked until about 2 am. I got real pissed asking him to first off a) clarify to his ex/friend that r/noireau isn't jealous and to b) not let that slide in the future if you count on having a healthy friendship with her. He never did.
After that fight LITERALLY the next day she's over (mutual friends from Chicago were visiting) and he lends her some of his favourite comics in front of my face. DUDE, not cool. I explain this, he doesn't really get it until I explain it when we were breaking up lol. He also has her art on the walls (fine) but I had to fight him tooth and nail to get this damn plush Jake the dog toy she sewed for him outside our bedroom (nothing again Jake but get her out of our bedroom pls thx).
When bf and I had a break in December they got together and she vented about pent up issues she had 3 YEARS post breakup. Yikes. We've had several convos about her during our relationship that always ended with r/noireau stop worrying about it, I care for you I'd never do anything wrong to you.
To his credit he's in incredibly kind person. Almost to a fault. He puts other people's need before his own. There were other things like his problem with alcohol moderation (gets way too hammered b4 everyone else) that soured things but namely, it was finally seeing him texting with his ex when we were hanging out before the holidays that was the final straw. AITA?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
hrbjrlu59KZg9EjHSuuBiXizYvdLD1K4
|
ag1ige
|
{
"description": "not wanting my (sort of) girlfriend to not date other guys while we take a break",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not wanting my (sort of) girlfriend to not date other guys while we take a break?
|
Context:
Around New Years my girlfriend told me that she wasn’t happy, and that the past few months she felt like we weren’t together anymore. I had regrettably failed to emotionally support her during some very stressful months and due to this and a few other issues on my end she was considering breaking up with me. I begged her to stay with me and while she didn’t cut me off entirely we agreed to take a break. This included the possibility of seeing other people, something I still can’t consider doing, and haven’t done.
Since then we’ve spent some time together, initially discussing our issues and then basically a date or two, although we were still on this “break.” While on one of these dates I noticed she was texting multiple other guys who’s names I didn’t recognize, initially I put it off and she didn’t acknowledge it. She stayed over that night and she was still doing it and eventually it got to me and I had to ask her about it.
I told her I didn’t like the thought of her dating anyone else and especially not texting them while we were on a date.
She said that this is what we agreed to and that she needed to talk to them as a distraction to keep her from falling right back into our relationship without us fixing our issues. She also added that our old relationship is over and that I have to essentially win her back over the other guys she’s been talking to if I want to be with her.
So I’m not sure how to feel or handle this situation. I can’t tell if I’m being selfish or overly possessive or not.
On one hand I feel like we’re still in a relationship and this is essentially her way of “seeing what’s out there” while having me to return to if there’s nothing better.
On the other I understand that in the past I’ve failed her to some degree and that relationship is now gone and I have to start again. If this was someone new I had just met I’d have to make them want to date me over anyone else they considered being with.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
la8G1LOoKvkuSDz4MxrNYionVeEvX1Ws
|
b0tcm9
|
{
"description": "parking like this",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for parking like this?
|
See picture
https://i.imgur.com/n0dpjo2.jpg
Context: It's a busy industrial area and the parking is very difficult to find during business hours. Lot of people who are early to arrive park with huge gaps between them that are about one more car lenght, but not enough to easuily pull in between.
There were no other spots, so I managed to squeeze into one of those gaps. My car barely fit and I made a light contact with the other cars bumper while pulling in. I mean really light, I barely touched it and there was no marks or anything.
There is plenty of space for the other cars to leave.
When I was parking, some guy walked past and shaked his head visibly. So I'm wondering if I'm the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
qu7rLkvcCtrHZDTXMD8fkTVzo4GLBRVQ
|
awvuoh
|
{
"description": "blaming my parents for my problems",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for blaming my parents for my problems
|
Throw away account , also I'm on mobile. It all started when I was born. My parents weren't the worst but weren't the best either.
My dad was always working, either in my home country or abroad , so I rarely seen him. He didn't really show any interest in how I am or what I'm doing. I did want to spend more time with him as a child, I definitely needed his attention, but sadly I didn't got it. Also later in my life by dad had drinking problems, which was hard for our family get through them.
Because of this , I spent most of my life with my mom which is the reason I'm writing here. My mom was and still is a helicopter parent , maybe even worse than that. My mom was a control freak, she didn't trust me , always had to do everything for me and never let me go anywhere.
She didn't work anywhere for atleast 15 years, so every single day she was home. She always cooked for me, cleaned my room , cleaned my clothes etc. If I hang out with friends I would have to go home at 6 PM not matter how old I was. She didnt let me close my door , so I had no privacy. I had to go to sleep at 10 PM till I turned 19.
She did let me do some of the stuff , like eat unhealthy food every single day, she didn't really force me to have any hobbies.
But what I hate the most is that she was never happy with me. No matter what I did I wasn't good enough. She would always yell at me and call me names. If I did something wrong , maybe get a bad grade or hurt myself on accident she would yell at me and remind about this for weeks . But I did something good she would act like nothing happened .
In her eyes I always were ungrateful, bratty, stupid, fat child.
Soon I'm gonna be 20 , I still don't know who I wanna be. In thinking about studying photography but my mom is unhappy about it. She wanted me to become a doctor , ( which wont happen ) and thinks that it I will become a photographer I'm not gonna earn any money and live of theirs my whole my life like I do now.
At this point I don't know how to cook or clean or even make a single appointment. I don't know what's right or wrong , it's hard for me to stay healthy and I'm emotional mess. I feel like a burden to my own family. My mom constantly says that I'm a failure because of all of this stuff .
And I think that it's their fault for all of this. They never helped me nor showed me how to do any of that stuff. How can a child learn all of that on it's own. I know that I will have to learn that on my own now and it's okay . But I still feel like I should blame them for this.
AITA for blaming my parents ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
HAVbOnXpqInjyh8ZLLTpCKvM17vALD02
|
b9kw7f
|
{
"description": "refusing to let my father use my garden",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA if i refuse to let my father use my garden?
|
Preface: this is a bit of a mouthful.
Anyway, I am currently building a garden in my family's backyard. Starting from scratch, the whole nine yards. Also doing it myself, with the idea that it would be primarily for my use, but I wouldn't be opposed if someone else wanted to put a couple of plants in. Since I have other responsibilities besides this project, i asked my father if he could help out a bit. He refused to help, saying that it's my project. So I asked whether he was planning to use it at all, and he told me that he was. That it is on his property, so he takes precedence with using it. I told him he's being ridiculous, and if he wants to use it all he has to do is help out a bit. I'm not going to get into details, but he is unemployed, has no day time responsibilities, and has no physical or mental disabilities that prevent him from helping out or getting a job, much to my moms frustration. He used to work, but got laid off 7 years ago and apparently has got used to doing nothing. Unfortunately she is very averted to confronting him about this so she doesn't. He totally shuts down when confronted with anything he considers criticism, so we don't bother mostly. As such, I see it more as my mothers and my choice how it is used, as we both work and i put part of my pay towards our house utilities. He says I will not be allowed to use any of the family cars if I don't let him use the garden. And by using the garden, he means it will be primarily for how he seeks to use it, and i will be allowed to put in a few. Am i the asshole if I refuse to let him use it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
wnVnwrgLXpcxIwOkwRqZdOyVseg6TMZy
|
a325w2
| null |
UPDATE: WIBTA for asking adults to pay for themselves at my daughter's birthday party?
|
So last week I was judged as the asshole.
​
See the original post here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/a1spxu/wibta\_for\_asking\_adults\_to\_pay\_for\_themselves\_at/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/a1spxu/wibta_for_asking_adults_to_pay_for_themselves_at/)
​
I took the community's advice and did NOT send a note. I'm glad I followed that advice because the party turned out fantastic. Only one adult went in the pool, and that was because his son was three-years-old. The pool did not charge me for that guy since his kid was three. Two kids (siblings) got sick and did not attend, so I was at 18 people in the pool, including the one adult.
​
Most of the adults sat near the pool and chatted, some sat in the lobby, some dropped off the child and left. My wife and I received a lot of compliments from the adults and kids about the pool party, and also an invitation to another classmates party next weekend.
​
My sincere thanks to all for the advice! I think I could have caused some unnecessary strain on the relationships with the other parents, and now it seems that we are in very good graces with all.
​
On a side note: I was right, the flyer DOES only mention children. It says nothing about charging extra for adults.
See here: \[Imgur\]([https://i.imgur.com/5AXYf4R.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/5AXYf4R.jpg))
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
3tDtvUyBqsGJaEZO3mVRhe8vQo1J4ALz
|
b9h2gg
|
{
"description": "backing out of a living assignment with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for backing out of a living assignment with my friend
|
I have a friend named ted, at the start of the year, he started hanging out with our resident assistant... a lot. Recently they are secretly dating (have done everything except sex. Not even really dating, just friends with benefits honestly). That doesn't bother me too much, shes just a jerk. She has this ego problem where she thinks shes more important then everyone else (my friend ted has this problem too). We all hangout a decent amount and we tolerate each other, but every one in awhile the ra will say something that just bugs me, but I don't confront her about it because I don't really care. Ted just has this attitude problem where he'll argue over the smallest things no matter what because he likes being right.
We all planned on rooming together next year. She had asked me if i wanted to live with her and I said yeah, ignoring my true feeling's about living with them. The new housing is like an apartment. It has four total bedrooms (two on each side), two bathrooms on each side, a full kitchen, etc.
I asked if I could ask a friend of mine since we had a 4th spot open, she proceeded to get mad and say "It's my apartment, I decide on who is going to live there". This made me a little upset, but I got over it because I feel like she would pick someone we all know and I was in Florida on spring break so I wasn't dealing with her attitude. Weeks later, I find out that she had picked some random girl she just met and doesn't even hang out with/talk to to live with us. Well, that's all fine and dandy as long as they weren't sharing a bathroom with me. I figured since this is some random person that the ra picked, ted would be a good friend and share a bathroom with the person he'd known for three years who he was very close with rather then the girl he just met that gives him blowjobs. Well that wasn't the case, my friend said the two of them would share a bathroom and then put me with this random chick none of us knew. I don't like that. So I go to the ra's bosses boss and ask about switching my living assignment because the ra had already written down that I was going to live with her and I wanted to make sure I could still get out. I don't tell her anything about the Ra and ted, but I just say that I don't want to live there anymore I'd rather live with others. She says this is perfectly fine and guides me through the selection process. So I'm officially not living with Ted, the ra and this random chick I still haven't met.
Well, they both find out which is fine, i was going to tell them anyways. But they refuse to have a mature conversation about it and claim its just because I want to live with my lesbian friends.
A few days go by and Ted isn't that mad anymore but the ra still is. Am I missing something or does she have the right to be upset about this? She is still guaranteed a room regardless, it changes nothing for them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
CFZ5VI6kuZBrJMQG4E1P9rQewU4lq7AR
|
b215kh
|
{
"description": "resenting a woman who was promoted over me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for resenting a woman who was promoted over me?
|
I work at a buffet style restaurant. It’s at a popular vacation spot and quite large. On the floor the hierarchy is basically general manager<floor manager<lead line server<line server. I have years of both front end and back end kitchen experience. I was also an assistant manager at a previous place of employment. I was promoted in less than a month of working there to lead line server.
Things were going very well. I was frequently getting compliments from both managers about the efficiency and training I was doing. There is a lot of turn over at this buffet as a good percentage of our employees are actually out of country students. It’s actually one of the most interesting parts about working here, learning about cultures all over the world. It has its challenges though as well, mainly language comprehension. My general manager said that since I took over for the last lead things have greatly improved.
I’m not just trying to brag, I’m just giving examples of why I feel I was screwed over. One of the line servers was an American girl. She was my 2nd worst server. About the only good thing I can say about her work is that she was friendly with customers. Everything else she screwed up. She was also constantly late and even had a no call no show which should have gotten her fired.
For whatever reason my general manager really likes her though and she never got so much as a write up. A lot of times I would see them just standing by the kitchen doors having a conversation while the rest of us worked. It was annoying, but hiring and firing wasn’t my job.
The floor manager recently left for another job. I really thought that it was mine and I was really excited about it. Instead my 2nd worst worker got promoted above me and is now my direct boss. I’m pretty resentful about it. It makes zero sense that she would be promoted. I asked the general manager if there was something wrong with my performance and he just said no, that I’ve been doing great work, but she’s better managerial fit.
Part of my wants to quit I’m so bothered by it, but this has been one of the most interesting jobs I’ve ever had and the location can’t be beat so I’m conflicted. I’m not sure how well I’ll be able to take orders from her though.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
DkJT5KvXSDDbsO2USKXpJq38upcKc8wY
|
b24but
|
{
"description": "asking an online business how they would maintain transparency when promising all proceeds from sales of a particular item will be donated to a local tragedy",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking an online business how they would maintain transparency when promising all proceeds from sales of a particular item will be donated to a local tragedy?
|
They are an established one-woman facebook business making teething toys, keyrings, necklaces etc from silicon and wood.
They created a small keyring item to sell and stated all proceeds would go to a charity set up to take donations for victims of a recent national tragedy. The whole thing feels a bit gimmicky and my spidey senses are tingling so I asked for further info.
Quoth me : How are you planning to provide transparency regarding the donation of all proceeds?
Quoth her: if I’m honest, I don’t know.
I mean being blunt about it, I’m not an asshole that would want to profit off the deaths of others. Even the inference that I might, sort of upsets me.
It upsets me that the worlds become a place where people do doubt others intentions like that.
Not saying you do, just saying that the whole idea upsets me.
But I’m honestly not sure how I’d go about proving it, so I welcome any recommendations to how I could ❤️
Now I feel like an asshole. Am I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
702VuSjp2LCHhoGfzTpFEPZ53agfMlVp
|
ar69im
|
{
"description": "using a former Friend's Hulu",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For Using a Former Friend's Hulu?
|
So, there's this guy. He and I have been..... close, but touch and go. Which is to say we've had fallings-outs before. Usually over shit he did (an indication that either I'm an overreactive drama queen or that he's a dramamonger)
&#x200B;
He's the argumentative type. And, to be perfectly honest, so am I, but I guess I would say to a lesser extent than he is (but I imagine he'd disagree). Concerned with the way he and I always fought and got into arguments, I decided to myself I would make an active effort not to fight with him.
The thing is, he actively pursues arguments-- by his own admission--because he believes disagreements bridge the gap between misunderstandings. Which, I guess, is noble in its own way, if it weren't for the fact that he is absolutely and totally condescending in these disagreements. In October or November (I forget exactly when), he and I got into a **recurring** argument about whether or not it is acceptable to give money to panhandlers. I have always argued that, no, I am not under a moral obligation to give a panhandler my money. This particular night, though, a guy, after I told him no, told me "Look, man, I'm not looking for a hand out. I'm just hungry." So I took the dude to a nearby food place and bought him a meal.
This dude that I argue with called me a hypocrite, and got very smug about how I could learn to be a better person if I just admitted he was right more often.
I cut the guy out of my life-- because I'm tired of fighting and arguing with him. Fuck that guy, I don't care if I'm an asshole or not there because seriously he's a dick.
&#x200B;
Here's the thing, though. Tonight, I realized he and I actually share a Hulu account from our roommate days. I don't pay for it. I'm not 100% sure he does, either-- I think he's mooching off of his mother, and that when I was paying my half as a roommate that he was just straight up pocketing that money. I don't really have any proof he's doing that other than the fact that he's done similar things in the past.
One way or the other, I feel **a little** guilty using this Hulu account which is saved after such a big blowout over charity.
&#x200B;
TL; DR:
Am I the asshole for cutting this guy out of my life over an argument about panhandlers, and then using a Hulu account that is in his name?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
kItQ9O8JbOdUOxQlEvUGh9ZXFU7v9W0O
|
as01gl
|
{
"description": "publicly shaming him",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for publicly shaming him?
|
Sorry for the format I'm on my phone.
Today My mother and I(27M) went to have coffee like we do 4/5 days a week. We went to our regular, a smallish cafe in the mall that is quite open. After I ordered and sat down there was a middle aged guy who walked around to the self service counter next to me and threw a sugar packet over my head at his friend sitting at the table Infront of me (less than 2 metres away), and when he missed proceeded to call out to his friend to tell him what he had done. I turned and looked at him and waited to see if he would pick it up but he didn't.
When they were leaving I said loud enough for people around to hear "oi mate, are you going to pick up the sugar packets you left on the ground" and he said that he didn't know what I was talking about and I replied with "the one you threw at your friend earlier". people were looking at him and he kind of just started to stammer and briskly walked off with his friend in tow.
Was I the asshole for drawing attention to him to try to get him to pick up his own trash and not leave it for someone else? Cheers
tldr: guy throws sugar packet on the ground and I attempted to publicly shame the guy into picking it up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
MWiiG9ohhG5yVugB5Oku6D5tu7uWYbcT
|
am3s5u
|
{
"description": "accidentally telling someone from Portland people from Portland are losers",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For accidentally telling someone from Portland people from Portland are losers?
|
Throwaway because im a pussy and im worried about hate on my main account.
Out to dinner with friends. My gf, her friend, friends bf. I know her friend just enough to be friendly with her but to also not know much about personal stuff.
So the friend starts making fun of LA, saying that people from LA are "just a bunch of arrogant douches."
I myself have had bad experiences with the whole "portland" subculture. Just think its filled with a bunch of pretensious hipsters who think theyre revolutionizing society by saying "reactionary" a lot. Not a fan of the art either.
I reply, "You think LA is bad? Try Portland. Ive never seen a city produce so much shit that theyre apparently unable to smell. "
Smile drifts from her face. "Actually IM from Portland.".
I reply "Ok. Sorry."
Rest of the night was weird af. GF said later her friend was mad at me. She said i attacked Portland out of nowhere when we were talking about LA. Well what if I was from LA and was offended at what she said?
Whose the ass? Is it me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
opacdIgQF0hYgD7swuqT3IgnQD67dTjM
|
a518mi
|
{
"description": "expecting a yes or no answer",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for expecting a yes or no answer?
|
This happens frequently but the latest was today. My boyfriend mentioned he was off work. I was home sick doing nothing, and invited him over. He sounded vaguely interested in my plans, and I told him to let me know.
That was 11:00 am.
At a little before 2:00 pm, I messaged saying I was assuming he wasn’t going to come over.
And as an after thought, I messaged saying it’s okay if he wants to say no, if he wants to stay home and relax or whatever.
He got upset with me. Am I the asshole for feeling like after asking, I should get a simple yes or no?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
Oz1TWwx6vmczM3mpFZVc1iwtXwc3B6nh
|
abqoxd
|
{
"description": "pretending to be Deaf for a tip",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for Pretending to be Deaf for a Tip?
|
(Posting on my alt college account, also on mobile if there’s any weird formatting)
Some background, I (F17) work in a custodial position for my local amusement park. I do everything short of bathrooms which means trash, sweeping, and table bussing for our parks restaurants.
Today the 2 people I was suppose to work with called out which left me working by myself in our biggest restaurant *on a holiday*. I’ve been working here for a little bit over a year now so I wasn’t too worried I just knew it was going to be a really busy day.
So right to the story: I’m halfway through my shift and my lead (who’s deaf) comes by for the first time all day. He apologizes to me for not coming sooner and then explains that he has 2 other restaurants to manage (we’re very understaffed not the norm) and jokes that he wasn’t too worried about how I was doing. Communicating with him is easy since he reads lips well and also mouths what he’s saying. When I speak to him I find myself also just mouthing our conversations instead of actually speaking. We continue our small talk on random topics, he tells me about the hot chocolate in the break room, we complain about the weather and our staffing situation and then he leaves. I didn’t think much of it and I got back to work, I did a round of trash and collected some trays. After I was done I went to the cart we have set aside with rags and gloves and got another pair of gloves (note that this is where me and my lead had our conversation). As I’m putting on my gloves a man sitting about 2 tables away with his family approaches me and hands me some money and a napkin with writing on it and mouths “a tip for you”. I tense up realizing the situation and without thinking mouth “it’s okay, but thank you” while nodding my head and smiling , he insists I take it and at this point I don’t want to be rude since he wrote me a note so I accept (we aren’t suppose to take tips). I sign and mouth “thank you”, then go to read his note which says something along the lines of “Your work is appreciated, Here’s to the start of a great year :-)” I smile at them and thank them again then go to the back of the restaurant to count the money, it’s $44 dollars (their change I assume) and I’m more than grateful for it. I write them back a little note on a napkin thanking them again and wishing them a Happy New Years.
Later in the day I run into a coworker I’m close with during her lunch (my break) and tell her about what just happened. She’s happy for me but then mentions that it’s kind of shitty that I pretended to be deaf. I say I panicked and didn’t know what to do but I didn’t do it intentionally. She argues that I wouldn’t have gotten the tip if they thought I wasn’t deaf. I’ve been thinking about this since the end of my shift, so AITA for pretending to be deaf for a tip?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
erG3dkqMmEY9t0Cg3vuipqIop0msKsQu
|
a7tbrx
|
{
"description": "insisting to pay for my meals when others are trying to treat me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for insisting to pay for my meals when others are trying to treat me?
|
Asshole is too strong a word for the situation, but you catch my point (probably). Here's the situation, my boss wants to treat my coworker and I to lunch. All 3 of us are straight men BTW. I (happily) don't have a car so I welcome every invitation to eat with my coworkers, but my boss always wants to pick up the check. Now he's a nice guy trying to do a nice thing so I offer to pay for myself only twice before I uncomfortably force myself to give up.
If I tried hard enough, I could probably explain why I feel that I have to pay for myself, but that rabbit hole probably ventures into the financial problems my family had growing up and how independent I had to be. So I don't exactly like sharing it.
Anyway, AITA for even arguing against a free meal?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XNKNf39CZAuzhS8tukpu6L7Qj3papKtR
|
a6btn0
|
{
"description": "not going to dinner with my aunt tomorrow",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I don't go to dinner with my aunt tomorrow?
|
My dad met his bio family, and while I'm super happy for him, I went to dinner with them tonight for the first time.
It was awful. I was stuck on the other end of the table and totally ignored by everyone. I tried to engage but would just get one word answers from the aunt.
His bio mom is pretty chill but I legitimately cried at how awful it was tonight.
Should I suck it up and go tomorrow or say no? They flew down from Florida and she'll be meeting my brother and cousin at lunch.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
r6pFWQ8VlVhomur5Glko2budVaR8o54x
|
ac1ire
|
{
"description": "trying to call out my dad for saying \"I must be a miserable person\"",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for trying to call out my dad for saying “I must be a miserable person”
|
So, for some background: it was a couple of days before Christmas, and as I was doing the dishes, my dad whipped me with a towel. It was playfully, but I wasn’t in the mood, so I asked “Could you not”. A few minutes later, my mom was saying that I was giving her pushback on a lot of things, and I told her as respectfully as I could that I didn’t recall fighting her on anything recently./
My dad then said “[I]must be a miserable person”(though I heard it as “[I am] a miserable person”). I then responded with “of course I’m miserable and lazy to you (the man had called me lazy to my face in some of our more heated arguments)”. He of course responded with an angry “Shut your mouth”. My parents then went on a lecture about how I’m unpleasant to be around, and how it’s going to cost me friendships and jobs. /
My mother even cam back to lecture me further(she usually either supports my father or tries to frame what he said in the best possible light). And immediately to see if what they were saying was true I asked as many people as I could think of if I was a downer, and they said no. I guess my question are twofold:
1. Was I in the wrong for reacting negatively to what my father said?
2. Should I take what my parents said to heart when other people around me (who are very positive people I might add) disagree with it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
uTfpOQKRoYisNfIADLSUc6cBXO2HmzKv
|
afacu3
|
{
"description": "not wanting to stay at my boyfriends place anymore",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to stay at my boyfriends place anymore
|
Background information, I'm gay. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about three months, though we dated briefly about three years ago before work took us to different states. We got together once we were living in the same city. We're both in our 20's, he is two years older than I am and makes more money -- but not exponentially more. This is important later.
With the holidays, I've been staying over at his house a lot. He has a dog and a home, where I have an apartment and a roommate. They're both nice places, but it sort of makes sense to be at his place rather than mine. We order food via Door Dash / Uber Eats fairly frequently, I bring food home on my way from work, or we eat groceries that he purchased.
This is the important point. About two weeks ago he got upset while we were out to dinner with some friends, put a $20 on the table, and left. I sent him a text that night but he didn't respond. I figured he needed a little space so I stayed at my place. After a few days of not getting any texts, I went to his house to talk. He told me that while the friend thing upset him, what he was really upset about was the fact that I hadn't offered to pay for his meal. He felt like he was paying for a disproportionate amount of things with me staying at his house, eating his food, etc.
I was taken aback. I've never been called stingy by anyone in my life. In fact, and I don't mean this to brag, I'm known as being really generous. We grew up fairly poor and I have been quite lucky in life -- I go out of my way to pay for meals for my employees, pay for family outings, etc. It's just a part of who I am. Additionally, it felt really weird to be arguing about a couple hundred dollars when he spends money on expensive clothing, decor, etc. on a daily basis. We're talking thousands of dollars on a whim because he doesn't like the color of something.
Long story short, I apologized if things had gotten out of whack financially. I certainly didn't feel like they had given the back of the napkin math I was doing, and I told him as much, but I said I figured it was possible since I don't really keep an accounting ledger in my head. We came to an arrangement that he would continue paying for groceries, etc. and I would pay for meals / drinks anytime we go out. Fine, right?
Nope. On Tuesday this week, he told me that he needed to do a lot of work at home and that I should sleep at my own place. Cool. I didn't really hear from him for 3 days. I sent a couple of texts, which he responded to with one-liners but nothing else. Then after work last night, I went over to his place sans-invite and he told me that work has been stressful, but more importantly he continues to feel like "he is taking care of me" by me being at his place. I told him the only reason I stayed over was that I wanted to spend time with him. The argument didn't really go anywhere. He told me that's the way he feels and I told him that I think he is wrong.
He then wanted to have a night in and have me to stay over, but I was upset by the argument and I left. I dunno, Reddit. I try to be a super reasonable person but how the hell am I supposed to feel comfortable around someone if I know they're keeping a running tab for every bottle of water, cup of coffee, or frozen pizza I consume? I have absolutely 0 desire to be at his house anymore with this now becoming a recurring issue for him, but he can't really come and stay at my place without making arrangements for the dog. Am I the asshole for not wanting to stay at my boyfriend's place anymore?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
9yibbRpRP9PSSiDYT6e65qbhgDkJQSK2
|
ajklnb
|
{
"description": "pointedly ignoring and walking away from an army vet",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for pointedly ignoring and walking away from an army vet
|
On mobile so apologies for formatting.
Background information: Years ago when I was working my first job as a teenager, I worked at a popular breakfast/lunch in my family’s well-to-do neighbourhood. We had a 25-30ish regular who would order a meal (not cheap) and ask for our recycling. I was told that he was brain-damaged ex-military and that his parents (who lived a short bus ride) housed him, clothed him and covered his food bills but he collected recycling for pocket money.
Anyways, he would come in every other day, hit on all the female staff, explain to male staff that he wasn’t gay (almost every time) and then relentlessly go after our baker. He would ask her out, ask to kiss her, ask to have sex with her, ask to have dinner at her house, ask her and her husband to take him out for dinner. She was actually quite friendly to him but obviously didn’t take him seriously, and kindly excused her way out. I found out later that he had actually successfully invited himself to her wedding, had been over to her house for dinner multiple times (with husband present), and had attempted to three wheel her honeymoon.
She eventually told me (in parts overtime) that because of his condition, we had to be more sympathetic and kinder to him than the average customer:person, and that essentially it was the brain damage that made him act that way. Fortunately I never had to deal with him much while working since he always wanted her, the head baker, to take his order personally (not her job) and she did it because we have to “think of his condition”. When I told my parents about this, they agreed with the baker and I didn’t (and still don’t really) know the effects of brain damage so I left it like that.
Next to the assholery: Even though I didn’t really deal with him much at work, we used the same bus stop (and occasionally same bus). He used to recognize me from work and beeline it for me, be overly friendly (he assumed we were really good friends since I smiled and asked him how he was when I was working), asked to sit next to me on the bus and sat down before I could respond (I let him because he was and customer at my work and I was a stupid teenager with severe social anxiety), or sit super close to me at the bus stop when the whole bench was empty. Mind you I was a minor at this time.
As the years passed (and I was no longer working at my first job), I would still run into him at the bus stop and he would hit one and ask me out. I would turn him down absolutely but kindly, keeping in mind his “condition”. It never even gave him pause, he kept on trying. I want to remind readers that I have really bad social anxiety that makes me dread any interaction with strangers etc and even most acquaintances. This was truly awful for me.
Eventually I go travelling, work in various places, take some classes across the country and then come home, live with my parents and start finishing up my degree at a local university. And sure enough, he’s still here, still taking the same bus and still trying to talk to me. I don’t think he recognized me but I still feel singled out: I’m an awkward polte-looking young girl who might seem like an easy target.
The first time he comes up to me and starts talking to me, I take off my headphones (which I always wear since I hate talking to people), tell him “I’m sorry, I don’t like talking to people,” and put my headphones back on. He just stares at me silently, still standing uncomfortable close to me, until I walk away. This repeats a couple times until I start pretending I don’t hear him and wander aimlessly away. I have tried hiding from him, it doesn’t work; the guy has a spidey sense for young girls (I have seen him act like this towards other girls). Tonight when he bothered me I just looked at him and walked to the other side of the bus stop, he tried to follow me so I walked behind it and waited there, keeping an eye on him until his bus came. The next time I see him I might just tell him to fuck off, despite my damn social anxiety.
Am I asshole? Most of my friends and family think so. They’ve told me to be more patient and considerate of his “condition”. But they don’t have to deal with his relentlessness. He’s never been physical and comes off as cheery/friendly but he seems to have no sense of object permanence or concept that no means no, not ever and not just no for this specific thing for the next five minutes. I guess it’s possible that his injury affects his memory (even though he remembered me for years after I quit my first job. But I still don’t feel like I should have to deal with this on basically a weekly basis.
I feel like no one has ever told him no seriously and then held him accountable when he tries again. People treat him with larger kid gloves than they treat their own children.
So yeah, am I the asshole? Also, advice for how I should deal with him in the future is welcomed.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PQTYzoFdKDHQFdd105lI8YofxuAiHlR0
|
b3lx1h
|
{
"description": "getting passed at my sister for telling me to clean up",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting passed at my sister for telling me to clean up?
|
So my family is bad at cleaning up their dishes after themselves, they leave dishes all around and never wash them regularly, leaving it until there’s no dishes and someone cleans them ( usually me). I had been doing the dishes for this entire week trying to keep it under control, and I had a handle on it and had cleaned most of them. I had lunch and had left some plates left out on the table, and my sister comes home, I’m on my phone and she says “ op, clean the dishes on the table.... op clean the dishes.... OP, CLEAN THE DISHES!!” And I snap, I say “ what do you want! I said I’m going to clean the dishes!!” And she says “ I’m trying to hold you accountable for your mess.” And I yell “ are you kidding me?! Did you see all the dishes I did today?!”
It’s only now that I realize that she had dishes on the table too so reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
3s3rzCUDUI9rjhoToDsX2dIX2Ws2PlUO
|
al0hlz
|
{
"description": "not hanging out with most of my high school friends anymore",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not hanging out with most of my high school friends anymore
|
Okay so first of all I'm in my first year of University and second year of college. I commute like 50 minutes to my school everyday, so for this reason alone I do not have much time to hang with my friends for hours during the school week.
Flashback to my last 2 years of high school, one of those years which I spent at community college. During this time I had a friend group who like to get together and play this game called Exalted every week, which is another RPG game like DnD. My friend group consisted of my current best friend Rose, an ex friend named Mark, Marks little sister, another guy named Tom, an old friend named Katy and her step brother Robert who is 40 years old. Everyone else was 17-19 when we first started playing. Robert was always the DM or GM of our games, and because we had no where else to play for over a year, I offered up my house for us to have game night on Fridays. After a while, I felt like my friends were overstaying their welcome. Each Friday game took a minimum of 6 hours to play, they would always order take out with often with a mess they would sometimes leave for me to clean up. I began to feel stressed out about playing this game.
I didn't begin separating from my friends until we all tried to go to the Renaissance festival together. I was going with my family and the Exalted group. When my friends show up (which was like 6 or 7 people) in their minivan to go to Renaissance festival, the van engine craps out immediately on us in front of our yard. So we offer up our other family minivan for them to borrow.
I remember this weekend in particular. This was the same week that I had broken the tip of my right index finger, and the same week my backpack was stolen at school. I remember trying to open up about it with my friends at the time, but they weren't respondsive to what I was saying. So to top it all off I decided to go to Ren Fest to feel better. However after like 2 hours or 2 1/2 hours I was feeling pretty done with the Renaissance festival. I had fun, but I had seen all the fake Renaissance/medieval attractions years prior, and I was tired and ready to eat. But my friends were hardcore Renaissance people, they were following the day's schedule and ready to commit the rest of the day there. But I split off with my parents and my sisters to get lunch and go home. My friends were tense and disappointed that I left early. I told them that my finger still hurt and I wanted to take more pain meds (which was kinda true lol).
Later that night, after my friends returned the family van and left, I got a series of cryptic texts from Mark, which basically revealed to me that I had offended him at Ren Fest. I remember eventually calling him and asking him "what the fuck? Why exactly?" And trying to drill him to get him to say exactly what he was thinking. And then, Mark starts crying (which he did a lot when manipulating me and others in the past 🙃). And then I hear Rose's voice on the phone and I realize she was there the whole time listening and talking to Mark. Then she begins to tell me that I don't hang out them as friends enough anymore. This shocked me because we already spent once a week playing our RPG game and never missed our game night. At this point I had told them how busy I was at school (community college), and about the bad week I had before hanging out with them. I felt like their request to spend more time with me, after they had been so tense around me that I didn't want to hang with them, was inconsiderate of my feelings. I remembered crying that night because being attacked by 2 friends over the phone is so fucking fun.
It's been like a year since this event, and I'm actually still friends with Rose. I feel like Rose just got fed Mark's bullshit at the time and took his side, but she's been a much better friend since then. I have also stopped playing Exalted with these people because I've lost my interest in 6+ hour long RPG games. I guess I just grew out of that. As a result I don't see the group much anymore. Also because of many other factors involving Mark, I have been ghosting him for over the past couple months. (He was dependedent on me and our conversation had become passive-agressive whenever we talked to each other).
So was I the asshole? Also if you answer "Not enough info" I understand. This was just a whole shit show of a friend group and I didn't want to live every single detail of it again
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TOdYOuK4SFUU694Vpk37e8PR6B0xo6Gu
|
adyqjm
|
{
"description": "taking the knobs of the heater",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for taking the knobs of the heater
|
We have a bathroom off of our kitchen that does not have heat in it so we put a little space heater in there to keep our cheeks warm when we do our business. It’s been in there for two months now and every time I go to use the bathroom it’s freezing because someone has either turned off the heater or turned it down. I’ve asked everyone in the family to leave it alone so that we all have warms butts and warm feet while doing our business. They must have not understood “Please leave the heater alone”. So last night I removed the buttons so it cannot be adjusted. Needless to say my cheeks were warm this morning.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
S3AxpCqV6eNnL09Or0NWqHZ5BVfM571Z
|
a5ho3n
|
{
"description": "disliking my flatmate",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for disliking my flatmate?
|
Sorry this is a long one! Basically I have lived with my flatmate for three years but with others. We were really great friends and then he went away for a year. When he came back we decided to live together just us two. He wasn't around so I sorted all of the viewings for flats etc. I was really proud of the flat (really cheap and nice looking, equal bedroom sizes which is difficult for a 2 bed). I lived there on my own for about a month and then he arrived. Ever since he arrived he has just basically treated the flat like dirt.
He leaves his leftovers and peelings everywhere, dirties all of (my) pans, chopping board and knives (we share) and then leaves them until he wants to use them next. Just lazy things like leaving food on the dish sponge and leaving the bin lid open with stuff poking out?? if I want to cook or eat I have to tidy the kitchen and wash everything up before I can make anything myself. This takes half an HR in itself! I have said about maybe just tidying communal areas and he said yes sorry he was just really stressed.. we are both at uni so I thought that wasn't an excuse but we left it and it was tidy for a bit but not long. I'm no neat freak but its things that make the flat smell and become unpleasant.
I'm super aware that it's annoying to have someone niggling at u to tidy up all the time but I genuinely feel like a cleaner and it is actually exhausting thinking about how messy it will be when I get back from work/classes. I have began to hate being in the flat and I don't enjoy spending time with him anymore. I feel like I'm just tidying up after him ALL the time. I think we have just drifted. But I feel so bad constantly getting annoyed by it and feel passive aggressive when I tidy up.
AITA for being so negative about my friend and essentially wanting to distance myself or is there something I can do to better the situation??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Wd1XYGB3XvNWaMeRDEFharogtllnqnBT
|
amxs9p
|
{
"description": "roasting a girl after she was an ass",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for roasting a girl after she was an ass
|
so there’s this girl at my school let’s call her a . she wasn’t always a giant bitch , in fact we got along quite well that is until i realized she was boy obsessed.
we had met before school started once before, and when that happened she actually came out to me as bisexual. I’m completely supportive of anyone that’s a part of that community, but when she started high school she told me she was no
longer bi and that it was just a phase she went through. honestly i didn’t care that much, as long as she’s happy so was i until she started to get a little meaner and less supportive of my decisions.
she would flirt with guys constantly and would always brag about the amount of boys that liked her. by the time hoco had rolled around she had asked 6 different boys to hoco then broken off their date then would move on to the next guy. it eventually became intolerable because she would complain about problems that she made. eventually i stopped talking to her completely, but she was still friends with many of my friends.
she ended up dating a guy for around a month but broke up with him because he was moving to slow. after that, she started talking to this mystery guy we all knew as Logan. she also became very close with a friend of mines bf. let’s call him R.
R had a history of cheating on girlfriends then braking up with them to date the girls he had fooled around with, and a few of my close friends made a swear she wouldn’t mess around with him.
right before christmas break the guy A was talking to hooked up with another girl and A lost her shit. she started crying in school even though they were never really dating and spent the rest of the week complaining about it. then we started to notice that she was spending A LOT of time with R.
apparently she had started talking to him about how his gf didn’t really like him that much and how they just weren’t meant to be. R broke up with her and guess what ? almost immediately started to date A even though she was very close with Rs ex gf.
at this point i was pretty furious being that i was also close to Rs ex gf and was a friend of R and knew that he was gonna end up getting hurt. But if we ever tried to talk to R about it he’d ignore us.
at this point my friend group pretty much despised A bc she was obnoxious and full of herself and did this awful thing were she would go up behind you and grab your boobs no matter how many times you told her to stop. the final straw was when she told one of my best friends who has struggled with self love for a long time, ( and is very open about it) that she is extremely fake. she asked her if anything about her was real, like her nails or her hair or the fact that she wore makeup.
i was so livid that i screamed at her, “WELL AT LEAST SHE HAS REAL FRIENDS” she ignored me for a week, and frankly i was fine with it.
now comes the last part of this story. my school goes on a ski trip every year cause we live very close to a ski resort. it’s a two day long over night trip, and the whole way on the bus A was cuddling with some guy that was not R. (he didn’t go on the trip) she even went as far to buy them a milkshake put two straws in it so they could drink it together like in the movies.
then that night she started telling people that some guy had kissed her ( which ended up being a huge lie ! ) and was bragging about how hot he was. no one had the balls to tell R tho so she got away with it . on the way home tho, SHE STARTED CUDDLING WITH THE GUY AGAIN AND SHE HAD THE NERVE TO DO IT IN HER BOYFRIENDS SWEATSHIRT! i was so angry that i texted her bf and told him everything that happened.
he texted me and said that he was grateful that i told him and that he was gonna have to talk to her about it, we go back to school tomorrow and i’m worried that there is gonna be beef for me when i get there. idk wether i’ve done something wrong and need to apologize for butting in, or if she finally got what she deserved. am i the asshole?
TLTR - a girl kind of cheated on her bf and i told him about it and now i think i broke them up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
D1Ox5taMjPYHIQL7yqaQGx7Sv33oUzpp
|
b4zzk7
|
{
"description": "preferring a talented asshole over a mediocre nice person",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for preferring a talented asshole over a mediocre nice person?
|
I'm [33M], the woman I took under my wing is [27F], and the guy I didn't want to take under my wing is [30M]. This becomes important later.
So recently I was promoted to CFO of my firm. It's customary at my firm for each c-suite exec to take an employee in their division as kind of an apprentice/assistant to hone their talent. Basically, the people chosen for these apprenticeships almost always end up in the c-suite sometime in their career.
I had two real options for who to choose:
Sarah: 27F, she is known in the firm for three things- 1) being extremely productive 2) doing all of her projects excellently and 3) being a huge asshole to her subordinates- think Steve Jobs.
Sam: He's 3 years older than Sarah, and joined the company far before Sarah did, but he's in the same rank as her. He's hardworking, cordial, and well-liked. He gets his work done, and everyone likes him, but he doesn't have the brilliance or ruthlessness of Sarah.
I chose Sarah, which the COO disapproved of. He pointed out Sarah's an asshole and doesn't deserve it, while Sam is hardworking and loyal. Maybe, but I'd much rather prefer an assistant that's brilliant, ruthless, and gets things done. The COO just repeated that Sam deserved the promotion more than Sarah.
Aita?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
eYNcyiwuuToIE8Hfy99XyGKmceHNwcMk
|
b8g56l
|
{
"description": "trying to gain independence",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for trying to gain independence
|
I don't know if this fits but I would like some input.
First and foremost, I am twenty and I've been date my bf for almost a year.. This factor will play into the story.
I have a very busy schedule, I go to work and I also attend college. Lately, my parents have been angry/ mad at me for coming home super late after work, I work until midnight and I usually hangout with my boyfriend for awhile before going home. For months now I have been asking them if I could sleep over since it would be convenient. My last attempt of trying have consisted of my mom manipulating me into staying home and feeling like a super asshole. Each time I attempt to be free of my parents grasp it makes me feel like the asshole in the situation. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
IbeSwqjexXDpXN2wNbEsWawGULQWvLXB
|
a9305x
|
{
"description": "blowing up a small comment, potentially ruining Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for blowing up a small comment, potentially ruining Christmas
|
For reference, I am 20 and currently on winter break from school. My mom and I have been arguing for most of today over finances, specifically over her spending what I thought was way too much money for a holiday dinner (she bought 4 filet minion steaks when I know we could have gotten a cheaper cut of meat and been just fine) when my parents have no retirement saved up for their age, but for the most part I thought it had ended as we stopped discussing it about 3 hours ago. Around 30 minutes ago my mom comes into my brother and I's room and says to my brother "I need you for a second". He asks why and she dismisses it/answers "well, you know" or something to that degree. I jokingly say "mom I know its for wrapping my present you have to be more coy than that" and she laughed. My brother groaned about getting up from his bed to wrap the present, but eventually did.
I thought the interaction was over, but in my parents apartment there is not much distance between the downstairs and upstairs section so I overheard my mom chuckle and say "We should enjoy this Christmas because I dont think the boys will want to have it with us next year". My dad asked why, and she said that "Well I have one kid yelling at me over finances and our retirement and the other complains about wrapping a present", which both are gross exaggerations of the reality of our argument and my brothers light groaning. My dad then proceeds to talk about my brother by saying "thats the problem with \[brother's name\] these days, he's so one track minded and aloof. He doesn't have a game plan". To which, my mom said "yea, and the other one is crazy", implying me. This put me over the top and when my mom came down I said to her "You know, you should watch your volume because what you say travels far down here. Otherwise you might sound crazy (yes, intended to indicate I heard what she said). She then is confused, and I tell her what I heard and she denies she said that and makes it out to be I have it out for her today and I am hearing things. My brother eventually comes up and asks calmly what she said, and she says a version that is different than what I heard. He responds with "I dont think that is what I heard, I agree with \[my name\]". My dad, hearing the commotion, comes down stairs and says "guys, its Christmas eve tomorrow, stop the fighting", to which I say (and this is the potential asshole moment) "I don't care if its Christmas eve tomorrow, I don't like it when you both talk behind our backs. This is more important than that". He says "give your mom a break. You can win this battle and lose the war by ruining Christmas here by your actions". Keep in mind, my mom is constantly denying she called me crazy, and my dad is avoiding saying what he heard as when my brother asks him he replies with "thats not what this is about, this is beyond that now", obviously siding with my mom. My brother then explains that he does not feel good hearing beyond talked bad about, and he does not mind them talking trash but to make sure we don't hear it (which is a lie, he does not like being talked bad of either), to which my dad says "ok, I'm sorry. Is that good enough?" To which I say thanks, and go back into my room.
&#x200B;
So, was I the asshole for making a big deal of this on the eve of Christmas eve? Or was I justified. I did not eavesdrop as they were talking so loud I could hear it from my desk downstairs, so its not like I went above and beyond in trying to find dirt. I can see its bad timing with the arguments I had with my mom today and Christmas eve tomorrow, but I still feel like being talked shit on like that justifies confrontation. Let me know.
&#x200B;
Sorry for the long post, lots of details. TLDR: parents talk shit about my brother and I behind our back upstairs, I overhear and regardless of previous conflict and it being Christmas eve tomorrow I confront them about it. AITA for not letting it go?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
oWsNnNRHo8sQHzCwxwhpTsIOLQrBQNhb
|
b1wr7g
|
{
"description": "'defending' my friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
Aita for 'defending' my friend
|
So I was playing video games with my friend, and we were expecting another one of our friends to join us and play.
My girlfriend's then joined the call and said hi, and my friend went 'oh, hi' because he was expecting someone else. My girlfriend got upset and left the call but I managed to convince her to join again. The second time she joined I said hi, and so did she, but my friend didn't, and my girlfriend questioned it, to which I answered 'i don't know', my friend then said 'just ignore her idjot' in a really joking way. After that my girlfriend got upset again and left once more.
I then went on to text her that he didn't mean any harm and was just joking, to which she answered 'but why would he do it again if he knows I got hurt the first time', I again answered I don't know.
She then said that I was taking his side and defending him instead of having her back, as she always has mine.
She's now really upset that I don't have her back as often as she has mine, which is true, but I don't know how we got here from him jokingly telling me to ignore her.
My friend said that if I could add her to the call he can explain and apologize to her, but she refused to join the call and instead said 'fuck off" and 'stop adding me' which I find very childish, since she refused to resolve the situation. She said he could do something instead of sending me to talk to her, but all I did was try to add her to the call.
I asked her what she wanted me to do and she said I could start by talking to her, and so I called her and she said she didn't wanna talk to me, she then said she thought it was funny how I could get along all day without her, and just now try to contact her again, when I had been texting her all day but she didn't answer.
So AITA for 'defending' my friend in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.