id
stringlengths 32
32
| post_id
stringlengths 6
6
| action
dict | title
stringlengths 4
300
| text
stringlengths 0
10.8k
| post_type
stringclasses 2
values | label_scores
dict | label
stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores
dict | binarized_label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
RfHzHcvcK9wFaMkfBN5xolQlizNUV5PS
|
avn277
| null |
AITA Am I a jerk for destroying a bullies fort?
|
TL;DR is not at the bottom since its hard to explain bottom. So first of let me tell you the people involved : E (friend) L (friend)
ME (me) M (Bully) K1 (friend) K2 (friend) 4G (Bullies Minions)
So me and lots of my friends have this gigantic, awesome snow fort. M and another one of my friends (k2) had some drama before. M and 4G would chase him around and beat him up almost everyday, every recess each recess for about 2 years. Today M came to our fort and took a block from it. L told him "you'll be in big trouble for that" he told on him and me, L and K1 had to go the front office. M told the vice principal that he threatened to bash his head in and swore at them. Me and K1 got to leave early since we had floor hockey. After gym we went back to class. K1 was in the other class so he didn't know what happened. L got in school suspension for 2 days for something he didn't do. M got a week of in school suspension. After school we were at the base and M and 4G attacked. We got off most of them off except for one, he knocked over some blocks before being grabbed by the back pack and thrown away by another girl who worked with us. Me and E had enough. K3 a character who doesn't really appear much so he isn't at top showed me their base. Me and E went and broke it. Another kid was there, he said not to but didn't really give a crap when we did. I then went home. I didn't think about "oh crap we might get in trouble" at the moment. Now later on today I've been thinking it makes sick, what happens if we get in trouble? So am I in the wrong or right? pls tell me I really need to know.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
rhe4NBiXbNgFJxIkCclYY1AdddRLoc59
|
aqkrb3
|
{
"description": "mentioning a problem about our dads car to my brother and basically telling me to stand down in all caps",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA: I mentioned a problem about our dads car to my brother and he basically told me to stand down in all caps
|
So our dad has recently been less and less self sufficient and needed some help. I live in another city and my brother and my mom help him with moving to a smaller place after we sold his house.
I wrote my younger brother about the [impending GPS rollover](https://www.gpsworld.com/homeland-security-provides-info-about-2019-gps-rollover-event/) and sent him [that article](https://www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/12/current_gps_epoch_ends/).
The conversation went a bit like this:
**Me**: Hey could you ask our dad about what kind of Volvo he drives? I'd like to check with them if the model has safeguards against the rollover event.
**Brother**: *sends pictures of demolished Volvo* I flipped it over with a bulldozer and it's pretty roughed up now. Has dents in it's roof now.
**Me**: I'm not talking about this kind of rollover. Have you read the article?
**Brother**: *sends grumpy cat meme with "no" caption*
**Me**: Okay, it's fine. I'll just ask him myself.
**Brother**: don't do it. We have other stuff to do here.
**Me**: I'm serious, his car is like 15 years old and does not have any active internet connection to patch it. He might freak out of his GPS stops working in the middle of a drive. I don't want this to happen.
**Brother**: We are moving in the next couple of days and I don't want him to worry. It's challenging to write an email for him at this point.
Me: It's just the model number. He does not have to know the reason why I'm asking.
**Brother**: FUCK SAKE BLKPINGU
**Brother**: STAND DOWN
**Brother**: IF YOU THINK IT'S IMPORTANT ASK OUR MOM
**Brother**: The car is not a priority at this point
**Me**: Okay, fine. Have a great valentines day. Thanks for the conversation.
I was pissed at this point but I feel like I have done enough to shed light on the problem.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
nOlwwgulu5GxaAuJI9N7fS2FdhaaliiP
|
b3z60r
|
{
"description": "getting upset with the person I'm talking to for being on my ass about smoking weed",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting upset with the person i’m talking to for being on my ass about smoking weed?
|
I feel like the asshole, but I also feel like my reaction is justified.
I’ve been through a lot in my life. It hasn’t always been easy. I smoke to help cope a bit with what I can, but It’s not like that was the first solution. I’ve been to therapy and taken psychiatric meds, and nothing helps as much as a little bit of green once in a while. The girl i’ve been talking to doesn’t like drugs; I understand and respect that, but tonight things got a little out of hand and i snapped at her.
I told her that she doesn’t have any clue what kind of trauma i’ve endured in my life and if she really didn’t like me smoking to cope with it then we didn’t have to keep talking. I told her that her judgemental attitude about what I was doing with my life (which i’ve never ever let impact her, i’ve never talked to her when I was high) was coming off as condescending to me and that she was trying to be morally superior over a moot issue since I’m going to continue doing something that helps me make my life a fraction of a bit more endurable, and I kind of vomited a bunch of shit that’s happened to me all at once on her to try and make her understand why I continue to smoke.
I obviously made her upset and I feel bad about it, but I also feel entirely justified in my anger considering I’ve never let it impact her and its my life to do what I wish with. It’s not like i’m doing meth, for crying out loud.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
yOvq4Qb3DpKRrkCIqbME1BxcU02GURt7
|
b0r6g3
| null |
AITA Roommate has been unable to pay his full share of the rent for a while now and leaves me to cover it. I try to talk to him about money issues and solutions to help both of us and he gets upset.
|
My roommate and I have been living together since July. He is my best friend and we moved to a new state because my job took me here and he wanted to get away from his current situation. Since I’d be making better money I offered him a deal where he pays 1/3 of the rent and half the bills and I’ll cover the rest. Told him if he had struggles paying then I’d help cover it so he didn’t have to worry as much.
After we moved in it turned out my job barely brought in enough money for ME to pay my rent and bills and still have enough for food and gas, let alone cover his. He waited to long to find a second job and I ended up needing to take out a credit card in October under my name to pay for the rent so we could have a roof over our heads. I provided nearly all the food and everything for a couple months and after he got work he promised to pay me back the money I covered.
Fast forward to the past couple months and he’s been still struggling with money and gets upset when I mention that maybe he needs to look for a second job to help him get by better. My job has improved slightly but now all my extra income seems to go towards covering for him. I get mad at him for eating my food and for using my stuff without asking and have asked him a few times about what his plans are with the money he owes me/if he’s doing anything to change his current situation. He seems to get extremely pissed off whenever I bring up ANYTHING pertaining to money or living situations and makes it out like I’m the bad guy it seems.
Am I in the wrong here or what can I do to help this situation? He’s my best friend and I love him and want him to be happy and healthy but I cannot keep covering him at a huge financial burden to me. If I had the money to help and still be ok, I 100% would (like I promised) but because my work has not been as lucrative as I had hoped I cannot help without pushing myself into a hole. Am I an asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
e7qJQSX22Zn7y7BjuqXTmIph62DZsizO
|
b3jpqu
|
{
"description": "thinking my girlfriend is dating me out of pity",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
aita for thinking my girlfriend is dating me out of pity?
|
so, hi. on mobile, second time poster, english is my first language.
i moved states (nevada to arizona) in about july. school started around august, but i started in september. so there i was, starting school late in a new state without friends.
i made my first two friends who aren’t relevant to this story. they introduce me to a, my current girlfriend.
a asks me out on october 2. yes i still remember. i had just recently come to terms with my sexuality and put a label on it. i say yes and things are smooth.
around november, a few days before my birthday, she asks me to leave her alone for some reason. trying to be the best girlfriend i could, i did. she didn’t talk to me again until late january/early february.
by that point i had assumed we broke up without explicitly saying it. i took it hard for the first few days, because a was my first everything. first girlfriend, first kiss, the works. i didn’t realize it at that time but she was my first love too.
i got over it surprisingly fast. i assumed i did something wrong and gave up.
pause.
she starts talking to me again around where i mentioned earlier. so things are chill. there’s nothing romantic between us anymore. however, things developed. she’s my girlfriend now and she has been since a few days ago.
now, here’s where the title comes into play. i went to her house yesterday and noticed something today: for some reason, she hesitates to be affectionate. i like to think of myself as a very affectionate person and i like being physically close to people.
so, to make things clear, there’s no lack of affection between us. there’s a lack of reciprocation.
she can also be very closed off at times and has what i can only describe as mood swings.
there’s also this other thing she does. she hits people a lot, in a playful way. normally i don’t mind people like that. but as i said, i was at her house yesterday and i came home today. there are two scratches on my face and one on my hand from her.
she takes it out on me a lot and i think that’s what is causing my doubts.
so, aita? should i talk to her about it or just let my insecurity get the best of me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
lUgN9JGua62ArGN7rRoCHq7Cx6ULr2o8
|
b9sh69
|
{
"description": "confronting the pee in the bowl",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I confront the pee in the bowl?
|
I'm living with my fiance's parents for the next few months until we find out where his new job is placing him. His parents are in their 60s and retired,
They are lovely people, but don't really upkeep their home very well. I'm trying to help where I can with daily household chores, and aside from some minor venting to my fiancé and close friends, have been keeping the little things that bother me to myself. Things like not cleaning up after their pets, hoarding, etc are all ignored as best we can because it's not our house and we're just grateful to have a place to stay at the moment.
One thing has started to push me over the edge. Someone is leaving pee in the toilet bowl, unflushed, lid open. This happens every couple of days and it's a nasty surprise. I feel like I should probably just internally fume and put it away with the rest of our silent daily gripes. It's their house and we're just their guests for a time. But at the same time... ew.
To keep this short, WIBTA if I ask my fiancé to bring it up with them?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
yGV2oT3lj2Y6uBCrwsQR6Um05nicgVfA
|
b48pqe
|
{
"description": "\"cheating\" on my so",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for “cheating” on my SO?
|
So this actually isn’t my story, but a friend’s. It took place years ago. So it’s more of ARTA (are THEY the asshole)?
She was with her boyfriend for about two years at the time that this happened. They had a habit of breaking and making up (which is already a bad sign). They had a particularly bad fight and he dumped her; she was really upset over it and thought he truly meant it.
There was this guy she had a pretty toxic relationship with (they dated for a couple of months) prior to settling down with her SO. Her SO didn’t like him and didn’t like her having any contact with him. Well, the night they broke up, she went to a house party with some friends to get her mind off of it. The guy was there, and they left to have sex. She told me she actually cried in the middle of it, and I don’t think(?) they finished.
The next morning, her SO (who she thought was now her ex) hits her up like nothing happened (I think; it also could have been him apologizing—some of the details are fuzzy now). She tells him what happened. He flips out.
He says that she “cheated” on him, even though she thought their relationship was over for good. He must have assumed they were on the same page since they’ve had similar breakups before? Anyway, he and all his friends trashed her for weeks, and she did everything she could to apologize and get him back. They did get back together for like two weeks until he broke it off again.
A year afterwards, they still talked and hooked up occasionally, but the bitterness he felt for the whole situation was still intact, so they never got back together.
When she first told me this, I thought ESH. Her for doing what she did with the worst guy she could’ve done it with, and him for refusing to see her side of the story and labeling her a cheater and bitch, and continuing to do so today.
It’s such a Ross and Rachel scenario, and I’m curious as to what everyone else’s take on this would be. (:
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
h6IMDonmQr8ExDmxv6j0Pw1xUfYFUwgg
|
aon8cf
|
{
"description": "constantly questioning my supervisor",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for constantly questioning my supervisor?
|
Stick with me here. It's a little long.
I work for a police department as a security officer. The building I work in has pretty high security, but less than an airport. So already you can probably get the armed services vibe of "do what you're told and don't ask questions". But I'm not in the military, and I don't get paid enough to not ask questions.
I always need to know the reason behind things. It's just the way my brain works. I'm always asking "why?". If I am given an answer that makes sense for the results, I am great. The problem comes whenever things that I'm told to do or the way we're doing things don't make sense. My supervisor has already told me I should put more trust him and not ask so many questions. I didn't like that.
Here's the most recent situation: We're currently short staffed. He's taking an officer from one area and moving them to another area that already has 2 other officers. That leaves me with more work to do, and it's barely possible to complete everything assigned. The other person that was pulled now has no assignments. My supervisor keeps saying it's because we're short staffed, which is barely relevant because having more staff would just mean maybe 1 more person on shift and less overtime. So no matter what, we would have about the same amount of people on shift. I talked to him about this, and asked him why he'd do this. We had a civil discussion and came to the agreement that the officer would only be pulled away on days when the other building is particularly busy (day by day basis). However today he has ignored our conversation and left me to do everything myself while the other officer has nothing to do. I asked my assistant supervisor why since he's running shift today, and he said, "I don't know. You'll have to ask [our supervisor]". I want to email my supervisor asking him why he is still doing it this way, but frankly I feel like I'm coming off as TA.
I know for a fact they're pissed that I always question them, but I'm good at my job. I work hard and do a lot for the department. I try to put myself in his shoes and think about how I'd feel if I was constantly questioned. AITA for constantly questioning my supervisor?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
JpblBExCE7RjxarCX980LojuNZK5h1f2
|
afa27v
|
{
"description": "making fun of my friends skin color",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for making fun of my friends skin color?
|
So this girl I used to work with and been wanting to sleep with is Hispanic, so am I. I'm light skinned though and she's much tanner than I am. She always teased me about being white.
We were hanging out with some people the other night and she started calling me things like white boy and other things. Which I didn't really care about. But then started getting meaner about it and I said "are you jealous that you're dark ass fuck and don't look like me. Brownie"
She got all offended and the people we were with were like wtf you can't say that. I was like why not but they had no answer and they all just left.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
5eRdCz0wWJ2pyHaZD9AwrK5LSbjtoAz3
|
akmq9u
|
{
"description": "meddling with my dad's work",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for meddling with my dad’s work?
|
My dad was recently transferred to a new city (he’s a prosecutor) and was reviewing a bunch of cases and he stumbled upon a rape case that was going to be dismissed. He found out the family of the rapist had paid off the prosecutor and the said prosecutor was already transferred to another region. My dad got really angry and asked to be assigned to this case, refusing to allow the case to be dismissed. I know it might seem very righteous of him but our family just think it’s very foolish of him to pursue this case. The rapist’s family is very influential and there are a lot of scary rumors surrounding them. Re-opening this case might spell trouble for my dad. I kept badgering him to just drop the case and he got very angry at me, telling me not to meddle. He was very upset because he felt like his family was against him, and even singled me out for being the most “antagonistic”. I am just worried for his safety that I had become very aggressive in trying to change his mind.
Please be honest with me... AITA? Should I just let him be?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
cq3VKI5TAPIhfkYdq7s5vvyGd2LdSXMU
|
a67y0d
|
{
"description": "not helping a soon-to-be single mom",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not helping a soon-to-be single mom?
|
I’m a single mom. I usually don’t call myself that. I’ve worked really hard to get my son and I ahead. Most, if not all, the help we’ve received has been paid for in one way or another.
An acquaintance, the mom of my son’s classmate, is going through a divorce. She says they’re just separated for now but it’s clear he’s checked out. She asked me if I can help watch her daughter one day a week while he works out of town. I asked for how long, and she said 3-6 months, but I have a feeling this is just his way out.
On one hand, I want to help because they’re sweethearts and it’s not their fault this asshole isn’t taking care of his daughter. Also, when I was fired from my job she offered me a part time job right away. (I ended up turning it down because it didn’t pay enough.)
On the other hand, I already have a lot of my plate. She has her own business (ie schedule) and our kids are at school for nine hours; I don’t know why she needs to work 12 hrs on one day. I’m an introvert, I’m going back to school at the same time, and I’m just not looking forward to it.
Am I an asshole for not helping another mom when she needs it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
D5KrdhMf9baEh8XjWLHSPxSVx3ih8Yuk
|
aj9dwy
|
{
"description": "being angry at my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being angry at my roommate?
|
My roommate and I live in a two bedroom apartment. At the moment, we have our friend, who is my best friend, and her dog staying with us for a little bit. Tonight both my roommate (A) and my friend (B) left our apartment for two hours so that I could have some privacy while a friend is over. The friend and I went back to my room to hang out. We decided to leave the dog out instead of putting him in his crate. The dog has a history of going number 2 on the carpet when left alone, but I figured it wouldn't 'use' the carpet because it could hear us in my room.... Anyway, 2 hours later A came back, while B went to go do something else. A little bit over 2 hours after A came back (4 hours from when I went to my room), my friend was going to leave and I walked into the living room to see that the dog had shit on the floor 3 times, both me and A were surprised by this. When I texted B to ask where her doggy bags were, she told me that A had already texted her and told her about the dog poop on the floor 2 hours ago. I am very angry by this, and confronted my roommate about it. She thinks that since it isn't her dog, it isn't her responsibility. Which I agree with, but when an animal makes a mess, regardless of who's fault it is, you clean it up so that the smell and the mess is gone. She doesn't get it and she is too defensive for me to bring it up anymore. I just need to know if I'm right with how I feel about this whole situation. Should she have cleaned it up?
Am I the asshole for being so angry?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
FKNZ46sg0PjVEeEdps4RPZpagqPiy9fF
|
as562a
|
{
"description": "being mad at my disabled mom",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my disabled mom?
|
Some backstory: I am the oldest of 5 children, and my mom has cerebral palsy. My parents are divorced, so my dad lives about 15 minutes away. My mom is only disabled to the point where she has a severe limp, nothing affects her mental ability or upper body. She is also overweight.
She is always late. Always.
Examples:
One Sunday (switch day), my mom offered to drive me and my siblings to my dad's house a few hours early. We had gotten a few inches of snow the night before, and all my best friends were going sledding. She said she would give us a ride if we cleaned the house. Me and my 2 sisters cleaned the entire house, top to bottom, for about 3 hours, and we were ready at about 11:00.
My mom said she would drop us off right after she made lunch for us. We don't normally have a sit-down lunch, so I was not expecting to have one, especially when we had plans. Sundays are usually fend-for yourself days. I was expecting her to just heat up some pizza or something fast like that.
I texted my friends, after confirming with my mom, that we would be there around 11:30. Keep in mind, she AGREED to 11:30.
Suddenly, I hear sizzling from the kitchen. I look in, and I see my mom cooking salmon on the stove top. I ask her what, and she replies "I'm making lunch for the boys (my 2 younger brothers, 9 and 6).
They are pretty used to being home alone, and it would have been only 30 minutes.
She continued making lunch, and at 11:45, she had made 6 plates of salmon, rice, and mixed vegetables. She called us all, and seemed very confused when we didn't want to sit and eat with her. At this point, we were already 15 minutes late, and eating lunch and cleaning up would have taken at least 30 minutes. I was thankful that she made such a nice lunch, but I really wanted to go and hang out with my friends.
Despite our protests, my mom, my 2 brothers, and 1 sister sat down and ate. It took 45 minutes for them to finish.
When they were done, my mom went on to go to the bathroom for 15 minutes and we finally left at 12:45, and didn't get there until 1.
_______________
So, I last week, I had a 4 day field trip, and we had to be at the school at 6 AM to catch the bus. Knowing her, I told her we had to be there at 5:30 to get the bus, so we would (hopefully) get there on time.
Well, she found out, and started asking me why. I responded truthfully, and she started screaming at me. She said she's "trying her best" and "she can't be perfect" and "just accept me". I tried to have a reasoned discussion, with her, but she wouldn't listen.
I got my dad to drive me there **on time**, by the way.
So, AITA for being annoyed at her like this? I know it's hard to manage 5 kids, but I don't get it sometimes.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
jMQ2mZE3oWaMO5EtQeignlgOfZKImD03
|
azk5kl
|
{
"description": "refusing to compromise on my gaming schedule",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing to compromise on my gaming schedule?
|
Lately i have had more sparetime than usual as the workload have been reduced, that has allowed me more time to enjoy my hobby and game with my buddies. We are playing games that require communication, and we are usually doing callouts and having fun. However, im talking with a normal voice level, im not screaming, or making noice above what is considered normal in a conversation. I always stop playing before 22.00, and never start playing before 12.00 at the afternoon. I have stated clearly several times to the dorm, if it is too loud, tell me so i can reduce my voice. The walls in our dorm is pretty thin, and it is easy to hear if someone is having a conversation at the other side, but not what people are saying, so its somewhat of a low buzzing noice.
I feel like what she demanded yesterday crossed a border, in what a dorm member can demand out of a roomate. She asked me to take a gaming break, as it had been alot lately, and she stated, she could not rest well when i was gaming in the evening. And i responded, that ill try to keep quiet and reduce my voice level so she can rest. She then stated, "that would not work, we have tried that" She also said im not asking you to quit gaming, but that it does not have to happen so much, and we can plan what days you can play and what days not to play. That is when i stood my ground, as i am paying just as much for living here, i game in my own room, i try as much as i can to be quiet, i respect our sleep times and dont make loud noices. And when i have spare time, i want to decide for myself when i want to game with my friends, I do not want to be limited in that area of my life by her. I clearly stated ill try to be as quiet as possible, and she can tell me anytime if it is too loud.
So in my case, I really don't like this lady at all, living with her is hell ( I have lived in several dorms, never had a serious problem with anyone else). But im not an undecent person, and i dont want her to be unable to rest, or do anything productive work at home when i am gaming, but i feel this is an exaggereation, as she also said "i find your voice fucking annyoing".
Am i the asshole if i refuse to find a compromise on this?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
QVq2gi80iXB3SOTS1CoV051xNTEJV3Ot
|
a4sqcg
|
{
"description": "telling my boss to F*** off when I tried to call out cause my grandmother passed away",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my boss to F*** off when i tried to call out cause my grandmother passed away?
|
So a couple of days ago i woke up to the devastating news that my grandma passed away,i was pretty depressed and i didn’t felt like going to work was a great idea.So it was pretty early in the morning and i always have the closing shift so i decided to call my job to let them know what happened plus since its so early they can find somebody else to cover my shift.So i called and my store manager answers the phone and i let him know that my grandmother passed away and i really didn’t felt good so he answers back asking” ¿Are you sure you can’t come in? Cause right know a couple of employees called out and we don’t have anyone else to close”.
So im a pretty chill guy i have never been disrespectful to anyone but at that time i felt like he was being disrespectful to me so i raise my voice and i told him”Are you f***ing kidding me,my grandma passed away and you only care about me being on my shift F**k you and i hang up”
Btw i have never called out before is my first time,Days prior that happening i was really sick and i still made it to work and i was the only employee who stayed cause everybody called out.
And Also i see that after that i have less hours on my schedule when i always have 40 hours now is down to 34 for some reason and is seems a little fishy to me.
P.S I Love my job but management sometimes makes the job a shitty place.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
lwkswc8Q0SWBtI0B413jN7bMiCQ3NQsB
|
artrjw
|
{
"description": "suggesting we don't tell my grandmother with Alzheimer's her oldest son is dying",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I suggest we don’t tell my Grandmother with Alzheimer’s her oldest son is dying?
|
My oldest uncle got diagnosed with stomach cancer last week and may only have a few weeks/months to live. He is considered to be moderate mentally retarded and lives in a state group home, about 2-3 hours from my Grandmother’s house. I couldn’t tell you the last time they’ve seen each other, as neither of them travel very well- my Grandmother refuses to leave her house except to go to the doctor (begrudgingly), and my uncle- leaving the group home, even for a few hours, makes him incredibly stressed. He didn’t even want to spend the night at my dad’s house after spending all day at the hospital having test and test run.
My father is the primary caretaker/power of attorney for both of them. My dad has a way of being an emotional burden on people, and uses situations like this to complain and emotionally overburden everyone around him- he loves to be the center of attention and be perceived as this caring man when he’s actually very selfish. I’m ok with him dumping all his emotional baggage on me because he’s done it my whole life and now it’s just par for the course. What I’m not okay with is him burdening my Grandmother.
My fear is that he will overwhelm my already very confused/distraught Grandmother with the stress of what’s going on with my uncle. She’s tough, but I’m afraid this kind of news would make her decline even faster, if not kill her. I mean there’s also the chance that we tell her, she has a huge meltdown, and forgets a few hours later. But then... do we put her through that every few days leading up to his passing?
I’m preparing to lose both of them in 2019, but I have a feeling my Grandmother will outlive my uncle.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TlT9dobOrEzeku2VUxmV17A5c2p9XuZ1
|
b6wrlj
| null |
AITA in a Craigslist argument?
|
Found a fairly good deal on a mountain bike on Craigslist the other day posted for $1,275. Texted the guy and spent a good part of the day going back and forth discussing specs, condition, finding a good time to meet, etc. We decided to meet so I could look at it the next day. Hadn’t talked price yet, but a few hours later got a text saying he won’t take any less than listed price. I say no problem. He texts back a little later asking what I saw the listed price at. He just realized he accidentally posted it at $1,275 instead of $1,375. I said last I looked it was $1,275. Now he texts back saying the price was a mistake and he is just going to take the ad down and put it back up in a few months. At this point I had spent a majority of my day communicating with him and frankly looking forward to a new ride. Told him thanks for wasting my time and called him an idiot. After this I received a profanity laced paragraph calling me a degenerate and telling me to go piss someone else off on CL.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
7foeEAzUDTIOxMjol3qwLd1Sts71uTgp
|
am20rl
|
{
"description": "putting my stuff back in the closet",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for putting my stuff back in the closet?
|
I live in a residence with a kitchen that is shared between 15 people. A girl who I know also lived here for two years, but this year she didn't during the first semester because of unrelated reasons. This week she just moved back in, after subletting the room to someone else for the first semester.
When she left in the summer, she also emptied out her closet in the kitchen. I put my stuff in this closet right after. Now yesterday when she came back, she moved my stuff to another closet, claiming that the one I had my stuff in was hers, because she used it last year. She didn't notify me that she was going to move my stuff.
I moved my stuff back, and when I notified her about it, she kinda freaked out. I'm shocked by the hostile nature of her messages, and absolute refusal to discuss it in person. She messaged me like I'm a stranger, not even considering for a moment the countless times I helped her out with things during the last two years. I temporarily moved my stuff to my room since there was no possibility to even argue, and I noticed the last few weeks that my things get used by other people, which I don't like. I'm ready to cut ties with this person and ignore her for the rest of the semester. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
6oCz9AQ5i0P4pnUSV4CM8uRGqhcMCsMJ
|
ammhx5
|
{
"description": "doing what I've been doing for 5 years",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for doing what I’ve been doing for 5 years.
|
About 5 years ago I got a new job that paid a lot better and moved into a neighborhood where the houses are rather far apart, I’d say probly about 100 meters or so. Most people use that space for outbuildings like garages, storage, pool house, etc so it’s not uncommon to have buildings on your property that are close to somebody else’s house. I used this new found space to build a little auto shop to be able to work on cars, mostly just a series of passion projects but I have been trying to get into detailing and repair business. Because of this I usually have approx 4-6 cars on the property, some are total junkers and are used mostly for parts and some are functioning. I only really have time to work on my days off (the weekend) and tend to keep to the standard 9-5 hours when doing work on the cars because I acknowledge it can be pretty loud and noise travels pretty easily where I live. About 6 months ago a new family moved into the house next door, to give some perspective I can see their front door from my garage but it’s still rather far. Since then I’ve had a deputy sheriff at my house 3 times to talk to me about my, “unacceptable level of noise” as well as an official HOA letter about their complaints, I know it’s them because the deputy had come from their house prior to mine. They’ve never talked to me about it in person or voiced any opinions to me, I feel like all this is very passive aggressive. Would I be the asshole if I kept ignoring them and doing what I’ve been doing?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
gDRBCVY1MgOBN2p8gxP0TI1c5kwEgN1R
|
b4litu
|
{
"description": "asking my friend to not go to a concert with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my friend to not go to a concert with my ex?
|
My ex-boyfriend and I bought concert tickets a few months ago for a show coming up in a month. One of his friends got excited about it, and my boyfriend asked him to come (with my permission). I was cool with it, since he’s my friend too. He was going to bring along his girlfriend who is one of my closest friends, which made me even more excited.
Since then, my boyfriend broke up with me over text after we’d been together for pushing 1.5 years and were planning on moving in together after college graduation in a couple months. Needless to say, I’m heartbroken and no longer going to the concert.
I know my friend and her bf haven’t bought tickets yet, but are still planning on going. WIBTA if I explained how much it would hurt my feelings if my girl friend went? I feel like it’s reasonable, and her boyfriend can just take my ticket.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XIGJPY7kBXZM4UOJdCB7rkx1b9PdEcKS
|
anexyo
| null |
AITA for being mad?
|
So I used to be friends with a dude from college and we sort of had an urgement over a girl in our science class. He stopped talking to me and we decided to spend sometime away from each other. This was especially difficult for me , since he was one of my greatest friends and I had no one to talk to about certain things anymore. So we had a mutual friend, and he stopped talking to me right after my pal and me decided to take some time off . But when we did reconnect , he still wouldn't speak to me. He claims that it's awkward and difficult to be in that position but I never even said something to him about this other person and I never would cause I hate gossip. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
kybTg1Ef3cxqGUoNI3MlfJEmlhVGgawz
|
b7kg7h
|
{
"description": "seeing an acquaintance on the bus",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA when I see an acquaintance on the bus
|
AITA for just giving a wave and a hello? Do you sit next to them or give them their space? If it’s a short ride I usually seat near and chat but on a long ride I hate to monopolize someone’s time who isn’t a friend or closer person who I know would enjoy the company.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
iZOYNIjPEXljv4AtTQuPHvRmZpiXiH69
|
ak9p6i
|
{
"description": "demanding my husband to be there for me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for demanding my husband [35M] to be there for me [25F]
|
I have developed depression due to some severe traumatic experiences I went through since our marriage over a year ago. We live long distance (oceans apart) due to having financial problems which contributes a lot to my said depression. My husband doesn’t give me proper timing and always prioritizes his friends. He usually isn’t the one being loving and caring either. Usually I have to initiate things for him to even say anything. But he tells me hes more of an action man than words and can’t do much since we are apart. Anyways, I told him yesterday about an argument I had with my sister which really triggered self-hatred and sensitive feeling in me to which he was talking to me for about half an hour and said that we will talk later.
Que 12 hours later and I’m still waiting to talk to him since I do not discuss these things with anyone else. He knew I was waiting and got really upset at him when he finally called because I wanted some of his time and that he should have been there for me. He went to sleep as I was talking to him on the phone and I started to cry which woke him and he got angry and told me to go find someone else to bother and hung up the phone. I know sometimes it can be too much to have someone be wanting your attention. But he is the only person if I speak to him I feel better. Am I an asshole for demanding him to be there for me when I have an episode like this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GYodQ9lGsipTIOM7odRFf5hMgAZNWhp7
|
auc2ew
|
{
"description": "asking my roommate if her brother could not sleep on our couch while he's sick",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my roommate if her brother could not sleep on our couch while he’s sick?
|
For background, I live with my girlfriend and another couple. I am the only one who has graduated and started a full time job about two months ago, the rest of them are in their final semesters of college. My girlfriend and I started dating about halfway through our lease, so as a result the two of us are each paying 1/3rd of the rent and have separate rooms still. The other couple splits the remaining 1/3rd, despite having the far larger master bedroom with their own private bathroom attached.
Recently there have been minor issues that I’ve had with the other couple that have mostly been pushed aside. These issues include them moving their cat’s litter box out into the living room of the apartment, right next to our kitchen counter. Another is them leaving their weed and paraphernalia on that same section of the kitchen counter, which creates an unappetizing environment to cook in. With some other typical roommate complaints, like them being loud late into the evenings and not doing their share of chores, the tension has been building, at least on my side.
I really should have said something about these smaller issues as they came up, but I was pretty much fine with letting them slide for the remaining 3 months of our lease together. However, yesterday a conversation that I had with the woman of the couple about her sick brother has brought all of it to the table.
Her brother is a freshman at the same college and lives in the dorms, and has come down with a cold this weekend. On Friday night, she brought her brother over to our apartment after my girlfriend and I had already gone to bed and had him sleep on the couch in our living room. Her brother will typically spend between 1-3 nights on our couch every week and does multiple loads of laundry in our in-unit washer, without any notice to my girlfriend or myself. We usually don’t mind because he’s not too imposing. However, this most recent time is different in my opinion because he is likely contagious and spending all day and all night living in our common areas where we hang out and eat.
I feel like I was dismissed immediately without any discussion when I brought my complaints to my roommate, even though her bringing a sick person to live in our common areas impact everyone who lives in the apartment. I feel like it is a reasonable request that he should sleep somewhere else when he’s sick, such as his dorm room or their bedroom. I’m not requesting that he never comes over, or doesn’t sleep on the couch when he’s healthy.
Would it be out of line to ask that they start paying more in rent for the remaining 3 months (individually my girlfriend and I would be paying 30% of the total each, and they would each be paying 20% for a total of 40%)? I feel like this is reasonable with the current situation.
TL;DR: Roommate’s brother is sick and sleeping in our living room, I asked to change that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WNCWeL6VXJMYAYs49ceB2PVmaSo1SGHv
|
b6mkgw
|
{
"description": "I mean being her dad",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA? I mean it is her dad?
|
AITA? I have been with my girlfriend for two years. She has a 12 yo daughter with her ex who was in a motorcycle accident over a week ago. He is still in a coma. We would like to speak positively to the 12 year old daughter but temper that with realistic expectations. His family and his sex worker girlfriend will not allow us to speak to his case/social worker at the hospital so we can know whats going on and HIIPA doesnt let the the staff speak to us directly. Also the family is texting the 12 year old giving her updates directly (against our wishes) So here we are, picking up the pieces of a 12 year olds heart every night. The latest happened this morning. We were scheduled to meet with the social worker on his care team this morning until his girlfriend forbid it, We have now decided that until someone gives us an update or we can speak to a social worker, we will not be bringing the daughter for visits. This pains me because she should see her dad. (even though they wont let her if her mother is with her) But she should not have to deal with a bunch of strangers telling her her dad will be okay when he wont be. AITA for keeping her away from the hospital until we can know what his prognosis is? As you reply, please keep in mind the welfare of a 12 yo child.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 3
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
DXNjD8jKobXooQVNUsZs091ishlldvww
|
alarb5
|
{
"description": "telling a girl someone called her a slut",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling a girl someone called her a slut?
|
I just started at a new school and I sit with the girls in my homeroom class at lunch, who are nice to me but don’t seem to like a lot of the other people in our grade. There groups “leader” I guess, A, doesn’t like another girl, B, and while the group was talking A called her a slut.
B and I were talking later that day and she started talking about how mean the girls I sit with are, so I told her that someone called her a slut. I dont know why I brought it up, I guess I was trying to agree, but I didn’t tell B who said this about her. She started getting upset, a lot more than I thought she would be, and asked me if it was A who said that. I didn’t say anything, and she yelled “I knew it” and left.
The next morning when I got to school all the girls I sit with were standing in a circle talking quietly, then when I went up to them one of them said “there she is”. As soon as A saw me she ran up to me and started screaming about “how dare I” tell B she said that, calling me a bitch, and a lot of other things I don’t really remember. I was really embarrassed because everyone in the courtyard could hear her and it was only my fourth day of school.
Am I an asshole for telling B? I think that you shouldn’t say things about people that you’re not willing to say to their face, and A seemed so confident I assumed she had told B this before. I’m still sitting with them (this was last week) because I have other friends in the group but A gives me the stink eye every time she sees me and it makes me really nervous to be around her. I’m starting to think I shouldn’t have said anything. Anyway, thanks for reading
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ntB8VPEPds0Ukx9WSqwDsrtaSuOlamBk
|
b85ldb
|
{
"description": "not going to the family reunion",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not going to the family reunion?
|
So my husband’s family (who has taken me in and treated me like family since I don’t have one of my own) had a big family reunion with all the aunts and uncles and cousins and all the rest. My husband and I were invited.
We told the planner (his older sister) that we likely wouldn’t be going. There are about 25 kids on the guest list, and they wanted us to take an entire 3 days off of work and stay in a hotel about an hour and a half away from home. Both of us work weekends 98% of the time, since that’s when we get overtime pay.
We both had the full capability to take those days off and go, but we didn’t want to.
We live a very child free life, and we don’t visit anyone due to some drama surrounding his younger sister and her drug and attitude issues. (Very long story, but it’s bad enough to keep us far away from them, as they are all absorbed into her drama.)
So we didn’t go. We don’t want to take off work, we don’t want to be around kids (especially that many), and we don’t want to be around his younger sister.
But now we’re being told we should have put aside our lifestyle choice of no kids, and put aside our problems with his younger sister, and taken the days off work and rented the hotel room, to come to the reunion.
I’m at a loss here. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
mO0Zo75xDxUIctyDyOuNuDgXLXrejeGJ
|
9xh9oo
|
{
"description": "being uncomfortable around my grandmother",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being uncomfortable around my grandmother
|
Throwaway account btw
AITA for being extremely uncomfortable around my grandma?
She always asks the most personal questions about my development and says stuff like "Get some meat on that ass!" And stuff like that
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vYTAtRsU0B3sIqUiZzT1vR3s0s5MoLxH
|
ayv211
|
{
"description": "giving my BF an ultimatum",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for giving my BF an ultimatum?
|
We (f/30) (m/31) had a fight about a controversial issue. He took it personal. We made up, but after 2 days, he said he felt judged and broke up with me bc he doesn't want me to resent him 1 day. We make up again and the very next day which is a week before our big trip across the world, he says we have to postpone the trip. He says he doesn't understand why I'm mad and that it's bc of money. I tell him I still want to go and he says the trip was for us to go together. I told him it's not fair he decided for me and if he can't, I still want to go. That night, we talk on phone but turns into yelling at him and being mean. I apologize the next day for the way I acted and he breaks up with me again after thinking over the night before. I tell him I respect his decision to break up and I still want to go on the trip together even as friends. We talk in person a few days later about everything with it ending on a note that he might end up going on the trip with me after all. The next day (Mon.), I wanted to know for sure bc our flight was on Fri. (today). He says we're not going and I ended up texting him later that night I'm done and need a more stable relationship. He tries to convince me all day not to break up. Says he's sorry for breaking up twice but I was being a jerk and he was mad. I tell him I need him to email the ticket and 2 weeks apart for both of us to think about everything. Those were my terms. He tries to convince me not to go on a break bc I'll cheat on him and he doesn't want me to go on the trip. I promised I wouldn't go and also not to talk to anyone else and told him that he has to trust me. After arguing all day, he sends another screenshot of tix. I told him I didn't trust him and the email. He sent me a screenshot of the airbnb. I stood my ground and said I needed the email by end of day. We discussed a lot and I felt like we could make this work despite all the recent turmoil. I realized he hadn't sent the email yet and told him he had til noon today (Thu.). It was after noon and the day went bad from our fight and got worse from a series of events at work (unrelated). I brought up the email that he needs to send again. I told him I really need him to send it now bc I didn't want him to always wonder if I would have gone on the trip if he had sent it anyway. He said it gives him anxiety to think about it bc of past experiences and he just can't. So I said if he didn't send it by 6:30, this would be it for us. He texts me at 6 that he'll be busy til 8:30. I said no email no us. At 10pm he said he's home and he's talking like we're still doing the 2 week break and he's going to work on everything we discussed. I told him we're done bc he didn't send the email.
tldr; Boyfriend postpones big trip across world week before flight without discussing. I tell him to email the itinerary for proof but I won't go. He doesn't send it because he thinks I will go and I break up with him. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
6dvRDbZosTrSw9A4UkNgxEUAhvd339Yi
|
b02zx2
|
{
"description": "telling my coworker to go talk to her mom in the other room so I could watch a movie",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I told my coworker to go talk to her mom in the other room so i could watch a movie?
|
I work 3rd shift by myself 3 days of the week. It is usually pretty slow, which gives me an opportunity to watch some movies in my free time. I finished most of my work for the night and sat down in the lobby to watch a movie.
I started the movie and my coworker sat down because she doesnt have a ride and is waiting for her husband to pick her up. She said she was gonna hang with me and watch some of the movie while she did some computer work. The movie started and she said she had to call her mom, i paused it because i thought it would be a quick call. After 5 minutes or so i played the movie and turned it down a bit. She kept talking and talking and it was getting irritating. She wasnt talking loud but i feel like i was there first and she was invading my space. I dont have a lot of free time tonight and was hoping to enjoy what free time i have. I ended up turning off the tv and leaving bcuz it was hard to take in the movie.
Would i be the asshole for asking her to move to another room?
I feel like i would, thats why i didnt
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
qZoS0AmmAOez0u8wQNca2hJXqEsBC88o
|
amgq81
|
{
"description": "snapping and yelling at my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for snapping and yelling at my roommate?
|
The title makes it seem pretty one sided, but hear me out. TL;DR at the bottom
Me and a few friends (3 college-age guys) just moved into a new house this past summer, and it’s been great. The neighborhood is really nice, and it’s mostly families and older couples living here. We like to play live music with drums and amplified instruments, and we try to keep it reasonable; no music after 10, try to keep our voices down outside, etc.
We’ve gotten a couple (2) complaints from the neighbors about noise (the cops were called on one occasion) and so I’ve been very conscious lately of the level of noise we make.
Well last night we went out to get some food at around 11 PM. As we’re leaving, one of my roommates starts yelling and making noise, so my friends and I tell him to stop. He does, we get in the car and go get our food. When we get back, closer to midnight now, he starts yelling again and I tell him to stop.
Seemingly out of the blue, he gets super defensive about it, and claims that there shouldn’t be any issue, despite past complaints. “What are they going to do about it?” Was one of his arguments. I tried to explain that we should at least be courteous to the people who we have to live next to, but he blew me off and said that we always make a ton of noise in the backyard and nobody has ever said anything about it.
This sets me off because I have, on countless occasions, told everybody to quiet down because we were too loud. It hardly ever works, but the effort has to be made. I start yelling at him about it (we’re no longer outside) and he says that he doesn’t remember any time where I have said something about it. This is where I snapped and said “right, because you don’t listen to me. No one ever fucking listens to me.” He makes some remark about that being way out of left field.
At this point I realize that I’ve just completely invalidated my entire argument by letting out my own pent up emotions on the subject. I go outside and sit on my own while the rest of them watch Spongebob inside.
I’ve come to the conclusion that what I did was wrong and that I should probably apologize, but I also don’t want the original problem to get swept under the rug if I try to be the bigger man.
TL;DR: Roommate was making too much noise late at night, I snapped and yelled at him because I felt like I’d been ignored.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
2amrDWzfakr2SKPvcTZU81iLxksxdndi
|
ba4o72
| null |
AITA: Droppin’ Bombs
|
We went out to breakfast; my wife, 2 year old daughter and myself. We were seated in a booth behind a group of 3 older gentlemen. As we were sitting there trying to figure out what to order, we kept hearing “fuck this” and “fuck that.” They weren’t be belligerent, just talking to each other. Anyway, my 2 year old is a sponge right now, so I turned around and gave the guys a gentle reminder to maybe watch what they were saying. They apologized but my wife was a little embarrassed by my confrontation. She doesn’t handle confrontations of any kind very well. Am I the asshole for asking people to watch what they say in public?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
r5tZFE0OEshvWYmkgbmbY3M9Vy2Sn3WL
|
axklfr
|
{
"description": "making a girl pay for my drink and lying to her",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for making a girl pay for my drink and lying to her?
|
I was at ball with my friend and I happened to bump to one of the girls near bar. I immedietly apologized and the girl said its ok as long as I go get a drink with her (she wanted to pay for it), I kindly declined and told her maybe later (which was a lie I didnt like her at all but didnt want to hurt her). My friend then tried to persue me into going to her and getting a "free" drink (for him too), I didnt want to do that but since I was already a little bit drunk it didnt take much to accept it. She gave us the drinks and out of nowhere another two girls appeared and started to talk. When she saw me being more interested in them she left.
Some time later I was going to take a photo with with my friends, when she appeared again and asked me for a dance, I told her I am taking a photo with friends and that I am bussy, which she responded that she is leaving soon and she is going to be waiting somewhere for me. I didnt want to decline, but also didnt want to dance with her.
I told my friend to help me out and that when I approach her to just take me away and say that I need to go somewhere.
Well... She happened to still be around and yeah.. she heard it all. I didnt know what to do so I just ignored her.
How much of an asshole I am?
I usually never do anything like this and I feel like I could've really hurt her or maybe I am just overthinking it. What do you think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
sRwYsg6EiakpPr3gubyK2mI43pWSqt6O
|
9y3v3z
|
{
"description": "buying beer for her with her money",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For (23m) buying beer for her (19f) with her money.
|
Been seeing this girl and she has a job, i recently lost mine. i had a job when we met but then i lost mine she felt bad for me i guess. but since we met, i felt like she only liked hanging out with me because im one of few guys that she had to hang out with and buy beer for the both of us (with her money) and just have sex. it's really only what we do together. but is it wrong? She's a nice girl, and just doesnt have much of a social life ( me also, introverts i guess). we eat out and take long walks on the beach. I lost my job, and i got evicted after 2 months, i was forced to leave her and move states. I really had no other choice. i felt really bad having to leave so sudden.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
EMQp1MaFncwOFchb7zlPpuEikJbH1lfd
|
9t5an9
|
{
"description": "seating myself at the counter without seeing the hostess at a diner",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for seating myself at the counter without seeing the hostess at a diner?
|
So I arrive at a busy diner for breakfast. There are 2 entrances, a Street entrance with no parking and a back door leading to parking lot. My partner and I park in the lot, enter through the back door, and snag two seats at the counter since it's just two of us and we don't need a table. After the waitress behind the counter serves us coffee, the host gives us the business. Apparently we are line hopping and have to put our name on the list.
There is no sign saying we had to see the host stand, and we both thought seating yourself is standard for sitting at the diner counter. Am I the asshole for seating myself at the counter in a diner?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
IrUwEdk6z8GXJzCA3QKBFSUC73WjfirJ
|
9v27b6
|
{
"description": "expressing my financial concerns for my gf's father",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
Aita for expressing my financial concerns for my gf's father
|
To be fair this happened a couple months ago and I feel requires some background knowledge to properly access. I have been friends with this F (23) for a a long time. I've been working with her father for almost half a year. And we both started officially dating about 2 months ago. She has a car that her previous boyfriend had signed for and she pays him.
She has been 2 months behind and has failed to inform her ex. I have pleaded with her to inform him before he likely takes action. She went to Mexico instead. When she came home he repossessed "her" car and blamed this guy as just being insensitive and rude. I told her father who I work with the truth and that she needs to control her finances better.
Aita for trying to have her be responsible for her finances. I know it's not normally the place to speak of others finances but if you're working to build a life with someone would it not be better to lead them towards better life decisions.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
CVf8c7xKxbujRDKFSjsMG7FNVUF4D6D0
|
au75yh
|
{
"description": "being mad at by best friend and Ex gf for sleeping together",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for being mad at by best friend and Ex gf for sleeping together?
|
For some context I dated a girl for a little of 4 months. We never got to deep into love with each other even though sometimes I really felt like I did and I’m sure she did too but in reality it was more sex than love. At the end of our relationship we kinda stopped talking and only saw each other once a week at most and one night I got very shit faced and had sex with another woman and I never told her. I broke up with her in the easiest possible way a couple weeks later. Even though we were distant she still seemed upset and I felt like an asshole even though I’m allowed to decide if I want to end things.
Fast forward to now which is about a month later. My best friend is an idiot who’s completely controlled by his dick so any girl who talks to him, he’ll throw himself onto her. I found out that he was talking and flirting with her and I got upset with him and he told me that he wouldn’t do anything with her. Today I found out that they had sleep together a couple weeks ago and I was pissed because my friend had betrayed me and my ex had sex with my best friend to get back at me.
I came to dilemma though because I’m not sure if I deserve be mad or not. If you have questions please ask.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
j8TJHhfhQhTMDs4k9llwzj3eT5D6F7p7
|
b3wiq5
|
{
"description": "leaving for a music show without my friend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving for a music show without my friend
|
I'm a university student that lives in a house with 5 other students (two couples, and two singles, all close friends of mine). I spend a large majority of my time with the first couple and we hang out, play games, and watch movies together every night. The others in the house are always welcome, but are usually doing their own thing.
Last week, the three of us decided that we were going to go to this Folk/Punk night at a rundown bar in town on Wednesday, and we brought it up consistently throughout the week. We invited the others, but didn't really have much hope since it seemed like it was going to be a weird and probably lame show, and they didn't show much interest. No one brought it up to us, or asked when we were going, so we assumed it was just going to be the three of us.
We ended up making a night of it, going to this art market at a brewery before heading to the show, and it turned out to be a lot of fun. Super weird, kinda uncomfortable at times, but it was good to get out of the house and try something new, and the music was better than we had expected.
Since it was a Wednesday, and we had early class in the morning we were back to the house by 11. Two of our roommates were sitting on the couches talking, and looked unhappy when we walked in. We tried to tell them about the night, but they straight up ignored us and went to bed, only saying goodnight to each other, and acting really cold. This was odd, because like I said, we're all good friends who usually catch up at the end of the day.
Today I found out that the reason they were acting so weird is that the one of them was apparently planning on coming with us, and was mad that we had left without her.
So AITA for leaving, even if we didn't know she was planning on coming?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Q1q43Ul38w4tKTKrchJ6lSxdY7yonJjm
|
b2afev
|
{
"description": "bitching at my roommate",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for bitching at my roommate
|
I study abroad in the same city as my best friend, so obviously our parents decided to rent us an apartment. Its very small, basically one open room w/ kitchen, living room, beds. The only things we really decided on spliting are beds (obv) and desks. There is a couch facing the tv that i never sit in, that my roommate basically lives on.
Now im not some super clean person, but i do like to keep things mostly clean, my roommate on the other hand... He litters the couch and his desk with crap, wrappers, dirty dishes, crumbs of food and other, not to mention theres crumbs and wrappers on the ground. Despite never using the couch, im adamant about keeping it clean, and often tell him to clean it up, he usually says hell do it next time he gets up from the couch. (As i said, basically lives on it)
To top it all of as soon as he gets up, he turns on the tv despite neither of us watching it. Now im usually on my computer with headphones on, but it still pisses me off. The tv is in the corner, to the right of my desk, so i can still see it in my peripheral vision, i can also still kinda hear it through my headphones. Ive told him multiple times about how it pisses me off, but he just shrugs it off and says he likes to have something playing in the background.
His excuse is that i never use the couch, so what is on and around it shouldnt matter to me. And since im watching videos with headphones in, the tv shouldnt matter either. Is he right? Am i just a nagging asshole or what?
First post, so i hope i did everything right, im also writing while in an extremely rocky bus, so if theres any mistakes, blame that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Cl5YvTxInB9QU72SwZUZ5NOLvgXRwfpa
|
b8p5hb
|
{
"description": "not paying rent after moving out",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA if I don’t pay rent after moving out?
|
I’ve been living with my roommates for about 2 years now. It’s three of us in one apartment, and rent is 1500 dollars a month. I’m going to give a little background and then get to the problem.
Background:
Everything was going well, until one of my roommates got a dog without running it by any of us. It was a rescue, and it was not trained at all... for example it peed and pooped in the house EVERY. DAY. It would get into EVERYTHING, destroy it and rip it to shreds. Also, this roomate worked second shift and would leave the house at 2am... the dog howled and barked continuously until one of the other roommates (usually me) woke up to get it. I’m a student and don’t have class until 11am, and I usually stay up pretty late gaming or watching TV so I’ve been getting almost no sleep. I’d continue to try and work this out with said roomate but never got a sympathetic response, just “try giving her treats” or “buy earplugs”.
Also, the house is disgusting. My roommates do not clean. Dishes are stacked, the bathroom is disgusting, I stopped using the shower completely and started using the one at my SO’s place. I started buying disposable dish wear so I stopped feeling like doing every song dish after two years. Whenever I brought this up to them, they just shrugged and said it’s not that bad/they’d get to it soon/another lame excuse.
The problem:
I moved out. I decided I had enough and my SO and I got a place together. I ran it past them, they said it was cool, and found another person to take my place, and I successfully moved everything out.
Now, the person that said they would move in backed out and rent is due in a few days. They keep messaging me expecting to pay, but I literally don’t have an item there anymore and we had agreed I could move out. WIBTA if I refused to pay rent even though I’m on the lease? Or am I well within my means to refuse and make them split the 500 until they find someone to replace me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
ZwRqzH6H99bb3gDnsgjFTF5kygEaOlGL
|
aw9825
|
{
"description": "getting mad that my Dad couldn't pay for a trip",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting mad that my Dad couldn’t pay for a trip?
|
My sister lives far away so I don’t have the chance to see her a lot. Two months ago my dad said he could send me over to see her for a week. I was over the moon! Getting to see my sister and having a mini vacation was a dream come true! So I tell my part time job that I wouldn’t be in that week and start planning for things to do down there with my sister. A week away from the trip my Dad tells me that I couldn’t go anymore because our budget wouldn’t allow it. I get mad that he lead me on and got my hopes up. To clarify I’m not mad they he couldn’t pay but that he told me a week away from the trip.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
tXkvFgBcxp0JbbVnENcke6XsX0FWz6CM
|
arfnsh
|
{
"description": "rejecting my ex-friend's feelings",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for rejecting my ex-friend's feelings.
|
TL;DR: I made a new friend. She needed help kissing. I helped her. She confessed her feelings to me. I rejected her.
​
Some background: I'm a junior in high school. Before the school year I chose to take an extra Spanish class. My friend since middle school was in the same class sitting in the desk in front of me. Now, I'm a social guy, I like to introduce myself and get to know my neighbors. The girl sitting next to me, I could tell, was not as outgoing and kind of just gave me a side-eye look. I can understand obvious signs of "Leave me alone." I thought nothing of it and went to class like usual. Fast forward a few weeks, I'm cracking jokes with my buddy and we're chatting like normal. I make one particular joke about his appearance and notice she chuckles. I took that opportunity to ask her name and get to know her, and eventually she came around and became our friends.
​
Now, we've been friends friends for a couple of months at that point. She has similar humor as me as we make fun of my friend and he gets us back. She has a similar blunt outlook on situations. She's basically a female version of me, and I loved that because I could say whatever I was thinking about to her and she understood and wouldn't get offended as if we've been friends for years.
​
A few weeks after that, she mentioned she was crushing on some guy. I asked for his name or class and she said it was none of my business. I told her to get to know him and to give him a shot, I pretty much volunteered to be her wing man. She said she was shy because she never kissed anyone before. I, having two girlfriends in the past told her it's easy and that it was okay to be shy. She wasn't sure and I volunteered to help her with that. She agreed, and I helped her with kissing. For the record, this was simply to help her and I told her after a few minutes, "Yeah, that's pretty much it, good luck." She was literally not acting any different the following days.
​
Finally, I was taking Spanish test that was taking me too long and I was almost late for my next class. A few more tardies and I'd have to attend Saturday detention. I finished and she was waiting for me outside of class. Weird, but whatever. I had a minute or so to get to my next class across campus and told her to jog with me if she wanted to talk. I get upstairs one of the buildings and she holds on to me and stops me. I'm panicking at this point and telling her "What?" She confesses her feelings to me, that she likes me and wants to go out. I tell her very quickly but firmly, "I don't like you that way and I never will. I want us to stay friends." and ran to my class, which I was late to btw.
​
She doesn't talk to me anymore and my friends say I'm in the wrong. I don't see it that way. I don't have feelings for her, I was only trying to help and the way we socialized, she was pretty much another one of the boys to me. It's been a good bit since that happened. She works at my local grocery store and I actively avoid her. What do y'all/Reddit think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mD4zvC8XssiyAjMwF8GG2intxxpgxAVM
|
ascw9o
|
{
"description": "being disappointed that friendA didn't tell me about friendB",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being disappointed that friendA didn't tell me about friendB?
|
Context: I lived in a country different to my homecountry for 5 years, the last 2 of which I made a group of friends from Homecountry (FriendA, FriendB and FriendC). We work at the same company, have similar ages, are all in LTRs.
I moved to Newcountry almost 2 years ago but kept in touch with them, chatting daily, sending birthday presents to each other, I visited 3 times and even stayed at FriendA's and FriendC's while they were there or away on holidays themselves.
When FriendA's very close friend passed away in Homecountry FriendA told me first, before telling anyone else. I immediately went into support (those who emigrated will understand how important friends's support is during hard times) and as soon as I saw them posting it on Facebook I reached out to FriendB and FriendC and we all kicked into support mode.
I share some friends with FriendA, one of whose father passed away recently. When I found out a few months had already gone by, but I immediately thought of FriendA and texted her the news in case she wanted to reach out and support said friend. Turns out FriendA already knew and replied something like 'I'm sorry I didn't let you know, if there was someone who I should have told it was you'.
I found out today that FriendB broke up with their SO, and surely enough when I reach out to FriendA I find out that they already knew. First they say that they didn't think of it, then that they apologise for letting me down with this and then that they weren't sure if FriendB wanted to share the news (yeah but FriendA didn't ask or try to find out). FriendC has been on holidays for the last few weeks so is out of the question.
I just wish that FriendA would have kept me in the loop so I could also support FriendB, especially since this was something I had explicitly asked.
In fairness I feel like FriendA is somewhat self involved due to only reaching out when the way to talk and barely keeping conversation when it's not about themselves, etc
AITA?
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GaLzGuGhxs5HYnh6z3wuKm4SOAwEhAu2
|
adbce0
|
{
"description": "being offended at a joke my boyfriend made",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for being offended at a joke my boyfriend made?
|
my boyfriend and i are both gamers, but he is into more games than i am and knows a lot more than i do.
yesterday, he had some friends over. he was playing Fallout 76 on the Xbox and his friends were sitting with him and joking around. i was sitting with them and i saw a plane thing on the screen, and all i did was ask what it was but he just laughed and said “a plane, dumbass” and all his friends laughed. i would have joked back but he KNEW i wasnt feeling good that day so i just stayed silent. a couple minutes later i said something in front of his friends (i told him off for it) and he just kind of looked away. i didnt talk for the rest of the time until his friends left and he didnt even notice or check on me.
later on i took him aside and i got upset with him for it. i told him it was disgusting the way he acted and he should be ashamed. a real man doesnt act that way to his girlfriend my opinion. he got really stand-offish and wouldnt talk to me very much, like only talked to me if i talked to him first after that. i got mad at him again that night and he ended up sleeping on the couch again.
am i the asshole for being upset by this, i really dont think ive done anything wrong and he shouldnt be mad at me for this but i dont know.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
6JJZ62rDsd5Zx36iNkTHkuRO9DqPPJHA
|
9yyl92
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my partner for thinking about having sex with other people",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my (21 F) partner (28 M) for thinking about having sex with other people?
|
I need perspective here. We've been together for 2 years. My partner sometimes sees a stranger and think about having sex with them. Today he saw a co worker of his check him out and started thinking of them sexually. I'm really upset by it and want to understand his perspective but I'm struggling.
He says he doesn't think it's wrong. In the past, while we would have sex, he has admitted to thinking about other women (some he knows) while inside me. Am I in the wrong here? If yes, can you guys please help educate me and give me your insights?
AITA here?
Tl;dr partner thinks about sex with other people- struggling with accepting this
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
8fjPtqVOY9XC6t8BC8F0EY4BKMFIMHoQ
|
9v577k
|
{
"description": "losing my friend of 19 years",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for losing my friend of 19 years?
|
So this only happened recently, but the whole problem of it started over a year ago. Basically, I used to hang around with this group of the four of us, myself, one lad who’s irrelevant to the story, and a couple, who for the sake of anonymity I’ll refer to as Rhys and Zoey. Now, Zoey started hanging out with us a lot later on due to her dating Rhys, but myself, him and the other lad have been friends for 19 years. Since we’re all only 22, that’s almost our entire lives.
Before Zoey joined us, we always used to share the same incredibly dark sense of humour, more often than not it’d be directed towards each other or each other’s family. When Zoey joined us, the other two lads dark sense of humour declined when she was around, but I kept mine up, she never noticeably had a problem with it, with the sole exception of two occasions where the jokes were aimed directly at her.
So one day, we were out together, considering that by this point she’d been apart of our group for several years and was well used to my sense of humour, I cracked a joke which, being honest, wasn’t remotely dark by my standards. I won’t repeat the joke, not due to the darkness of it, but just simply because it was purely contextual and wouldn’t sound remotely funny out of context. It was in no way aimed at her and was mostly just a joke about myself being gay. Yet, for some reason she seemed to take massive offence to it.
Now, I’m not here to ask if I’m the asshole for offending her, truth be told I’m totally convinced I did nothing wrong, especially given what followed. After I discovered she had such an issue with it, I tried apologising. Repeatedly. This went on for about two months, until she seemed to be over it. It wasn’t until a further month after that she revealed she wasn’t over it at all, at which point I then continued apologising, repeatedly, for about six months. After that point I gave up, I wasn’t seeing her at all, if she wanted to continue holding that grudge against me that was fine, even Rhys (who at this point was her fiancé) seemed to think she was being petty. I continued to meet up with Rhys and stay friends with him at this point.
The wedding was looming at this point, and I’d only been invited to the ceremony and the evening reception, which if I’m honest already ticked me off. I’d been friends with this lad for 19 years and he wasn’t inviting me to the meal of his wedding. There were additional reasons however, which as weak as they were, I used to ignore.
Now, fast forward to the night before the wedding, about a month ago. I’m prepared to go, their wedding present is wrapped, my suit is hung up on the bannister, I’m about to go to sleep before his big day. That’s when I get a call from Rhys. He calls me the night before to tell me I’m uninvited to the entire thing. As you can imagine I’m pissed off big time. I remove him, but not blocking him, from all social media. Like I say, this was about a month ago and he’s made no effort whatsoever to contact me to talk about it. Am I the asshole here for being annoyed in the first place? Or even removing him from all social media? Or is it not on me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
phiAAJ1oe4nHOUcoZtNBGLJulHDPbbqt
|
b0u3v6
|
{
"description": "pushing my friend in a water balloon fight",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for pushing my friend in a water balloon fight
|
Don’t know if this counts as physical violence sorry if it does
Side note: this happened a long time ago but I chilled with my friend that this happened to today, also were in middle school so this is rly silly stuff
So it’s me and my friend Tom vs Shawn, 2v1 in water balloons. Me and Tom are running low on balloons and decide we’ll use our container of balloons as a shield and steal some of his balloons. Something to mention is that he gave us some extra when running low but we didn’t want to just ask for more balloons again. This is because
A. We were getting kind of bored but didn’t want to be rude
B. Like said, running low on balloons
So we steal some of his balloons and he got mad. Starting whipping balloons hard as he can at Tom. I use the plastic container to push him away (wasn’t really a ram but harder than a push) so Tom wouldn’t be getting smacked. He then got madder, almost started crying and walked back into his house.
He said we could’ve just asked for more balloons but due to reason A and the fact we didn’t want to keep asking just because we weren’t using our balloons conservatively. I feel that everyone in this situation could be considered an asshole but I want to know what you guys think
Btw me and Shawn are still friends
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
B9CAGU1vQgVaCO8Zsbin1JMfiZb7lUhN
|
ax42i4
|
{
"description": "calling a little kid's YouTube channel trash",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For calling a little kid’s YouTube channel trash?
|
I used to be friends with someone at my summer camp and I have always supported his small YouTube channel (100+ subs). He runs a discord server for his fans, which I have been a part of all the way from the beginning. The server starts becoming active again a couple years after it is made. However, I noticed that people were not enjoying their experience in the server. He was muting people in the server for the smallest things and many members were leaving the server. One of the rules in the server was literally to subscribe to his YouTube channel. Eventually, I had enough of it and I started telling him ways he can reform the server. My suggestions were taken as personal attacks to him.
Fast forward a couple weeks and I was starting to care less and less about the strict rules that he made. So with my friends, it is a joke to play Look at Me and spam “Ay” every time it’s said in the song. And we did exactly that. The owner of the server muted me for spam and revoked my roles as mod. After that incident, I just felt like he was looking for excuses to ban me from the server. For example, I could ping everyone once and get a 7 hour mute, while someone can do it 10 times as a “joke” and suffer no consequences. When I noticed this bias, I started calling his server garbage and telling him how unfair this is. Many other members noticed the bias and were on my side. But I think I was a bit harsh. I also told him that his YouTube channel was garbage directly to him. His most recent streams were just him messing with his fortnite settings and I told him that no one would ever want to watch that trash. I was just tired of pretending like his channel was good to make him feel better about himself. I also called him out for his ego and how he always brags about his PC and music setup. Again, this is someone a few years younger than me and they aren’t even a teenager yet so I feel like I was too harsh on them.
(Yes I was banned from the server. We resolved our issues, but I want to see what everyone thinks of the situation)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
b6v6RctFKxk8vRg0tFT9KFPyWWixlass
|
argpot
|
{
"description": "rethinking my whole relationship with my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for rethinking my whole relationship with my best friend?
|
This one is going to be a doozy. Obligatory TL;DR at the bottom.
So, to set the stage for this, I met my best friend (21F, who will be referred to as Sara from here on out) when I (22F) was in high school. She was a sophomore and I was a junior and we have been friends ever since. So, around six years. Ove the course of our friendship, I met different people and introduced them to her. There were about four of us in our friend group at the best point.
​
Well, one person of the group did some things that I didn't agree with in high school and said something that set off a huge red flag for me, and despite me trying to overlook this and continue to be friends with them, I just couldn't. I haven't talked to the said person in years, but Sara is still friends with this person, even though I have informed her of all the terrible things the person has done. Which is fine, she's allowed to be friends with whoever, I just asked that Sara keeps my personal life private from this negative individual.
​
Another thing is Sara is Mormon. She just came back from her mission in Chile about five months ago after being gone a year and a half. She is very religious and has always found comfort in her beliefs. She has never tried to convert me and isn't a crazy person trying to shove religion down other people's throats. It's just important in her life and to her lifestyle.
​
Sara also has had a multitude of boyfriends in the past. All of which I've felt she moved too fast in, or they moved too fast in. I never said anything because it never lasted long because they would break up before it got too bad. I always hinted at it, but never outright told her. I've always tried to be supportive of her.
​
Well, back in January, after being single for about a month, she met a guy (26M) in our local Walmart. They went and had coffee a few weeks later after he somehow scored her number and they hit it off. She didn't even tell me she met someone until they were already a thing one week after meeting. And, I know she isn't obligated to tell me anything, but it just felt very secretive. She didn't even tell me. Her mother did and then Sara just confirmed. I asked when she planned on telling me and she said later when she thought things were a bit more solid, even though they already had the boyfriend and girlfriend label.
​
Now, we are in February, and I found out about a week ago that she and the guy are engaged! She told me this a few days after he popped the question and I asked her what the hell she was thinking. She told me that they "were in love and that she knew he was the one" and I told her that this was too soon. It's been a month and she barely even knows the guy! I asked her if they even had a serious argument and she told me they hadn't because they "just agree on *everything*". I told her that they were in the honeymoon phase and that she needed to give it a bit more time before tying the knot.
​
Well, after going to the bathroom and calming myself down, I realized that this was her life. I can't control her or what she does. So I went back and told her that I was happy for her, but I did need to meet the guy before the wedding. She agreed wholeheartedly. The issue was, her and I have full-time jobs. We're both teachers, so we both get off around the same time. He doesn't have a job. So it should've been easy to get together and meet up, right?
​
Nope.
​
I planned THREE different times to meet them. Each at least a day before, and each one got canceled. And it wasn't for legitimate reasons, I feel. One was because he wasn't feeling too well, or because his family had a last minute BBQ and they just couldn't miss it. It was hurtful each time they canceled with these excuses because I felt Sara just didn't...care? It was important to me for my friends to meet my significant other because I wanted confirmation I made the right choice. It wasn't easy because he's in Norway (LDR) but I still made it happen when he was here. And I never canceled on her.
​
This whole thing was frustrating because I have my own things to do and she just did not seem to care. It really hurt my feelings and I told her this and how much stress it's adding because I had to juggle other things around. She said she was sorry and that I shouldn't stress out about it and we could do it another day, but I didn't want to keep putting it off.
​
So I finally met him today. He seems like a decent enough guy. I just don't really like the person she becomes when she's in a relationship. It basically just consumes her life.
​
And while I was talking to her fiance, I found out that Sara, the negative individual, and he has a group chat together where they send each other memes. Out of spite, I'll admit, I asked if it took the individual three times to meet Sara's betrothed. Not at all! In fact, the person drove Sara to her first date with him.
​
I just feel really confused. I really love Sara and I feel so gross for even thinking I shouldn't call her my best friend anymore. AITA?
​
TL:DR - My best friend since high school got engaged to a guy she's known for a month, and a series of events have caused me to question my friendship with her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Utd2aH4ygjJoLzwMaerdekecf1s6qpxS
|
b8pti8
|
{
"description": "giving my sister weed knowing she's had bad experiences in the past",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for giving my sister weed knowing she's had bad experiences in the past?
|
The title sounds bad, but bear with me. I (19F) smoke regularly. I enjoy it, it helps me relax. My sister (17) does not. She tried edibles once before and totally freaked out and spent the night puking. She's tried smoking a couple times with me and hasn't had a bad reaction.
So, on to last night. I got home, after an exam, and wanted to relax and treat myself. So I set up my bong, and offer some to my sister. Now, I usually offer some to her if I'm going to smoke, but I never pressure her. I just offer and then move on when she generally tends to say no. But last night, much to my surprise, she said yes. Awesome, I set it up, let her take a few hits while I proceed to get stoned out of my mind. She was fine for about two minutes before starting to freak out, which lasted an hour. Crying, shaking, hyperventilating, the whole works. I did my best to comfort her, talked for a full half hour non stop about random shit to distract her, held her hand. I felt awful seeing her like this, I wanted to help.
Here's the part that makes me worry I might be an asshole: the first time I tried my bong, I also got way too high (I had no idea how to use it and ended up taking way too much) resulting in a very intense prolonged high. It didn't bother me, it was uncomfortable but I didn't freak out because I usually don't. But, I knew this was a possibility. I, however, forgot this/didn't think of it last night, and gave my sister a bong even though it's a more intense form of smoking. It honestly didn't even really occur to me that she would freak out again, but I feel so bad about the whole situation that I feel responsible.
So, AITA for letting my sister smoke even though I knew it can be intense?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
CkG9Y9Xx2xwcJlzs7M0j4DiIq1ibxvyk
|
b5wse4
|
{
"description": "telling a girl she should probably find a new home",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a girl she should probably find a new home?
|
First of all, I’m not a native speaker and there might be some cultural differences, which I’ll try to explain.
I’m in college and share a house with another 9 people, it’s kinda like a fraternity but we’re super chill. 5 of them are men(gay) and the other 5 are woman(me, included).
We are super close and quite intimate. The guys walk around on their underwear and the girls walk around topless. We talk about sex, periods and everything a drunk person can. That works bc everyone is super confortable with each other.
We got two new girls this year(the last ones graduated), one fit really well but the other has felt kinda unconfortable. We had a meeting yesterday(we do it every week to speak about all the things that must be done on the house, about the dog, ect) and she said she didn’t feel confortable with us topless or some of our conversations and asked us to stop.
I’m not gonna lie but that didn’t go too well with the rest of the house, literally everyone else either likes the way we act or doesn’t care.
Long story short, today I sat down’t with her and told her it might be better if she looked for a house that fitted her personality better and that it wasn’t fair for her to ask 9 other people way of life, especially when we weren’t being assholes
She cried and told me it wasn’t fair, since she would be a paying renter and she had the right to be confortable. I explained to her that I understood that she was more private but that people had different limits and it seemed like hers didn’t mesh too well with ours, that she would be happier somewhere else
We didn’t talk much more bc she was crying. I feel terrible and really guilty but I don’t think it would do any of us any good if we lived together. AITA?
TL;DR: we live a very free life(talking about sex and walking around topless) and a girl who just got here asked us to change, I told her she should probably move(but in a nicer way), I feel guilty and sad, but I need an objective view. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yc0pb1tXW0bnbSgRQTE69jt606ZqEENY
|
ao9yy6
|
{
"description": "being a side dude",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being a side dude?
|
So long story short I met a girl the other day and I’m 100% she got a boyfriend. We were hitting on each-other quite a bit, I asked if he has a boyfriend and she said “haha kinda nothing serious, dw ill tell you if anything happens.” Am I an asshole for considering being a side dude????
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
EmnYfQfcc4fhHOLwz9OkCNNa0C6tJwmb
|
aqfek2
|
{
"description": "asking to be reimbursed for alcohol my roommate's mom drank",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking to be reimbursed for alcohol my roommate's mom drank?
|
This is my first post ever. That's nerve wracking. If I mess any of this up, please let me know and I'll fix it. TL;DR at the bottom.
Let me preface this story with a bit of backstory. This happened back in October of last year. My best friend (21F) (from here on out to be referred to as RM) and I (21F) had been living together for 4 months and had known each other for 7 years. Things were pretty strenuous because of financial things and other issues.
​
It was the weekend of a different friend's (21M) (here on out referred to as John) birthday. They were turning 21 and for their birthday, since they had never really had any alcohol before, we agreed to get a bunch of different alcohol for them to try. So I went to the store the Saturday before and got a bottle of Crown Royal, some rum, whisky, vodka, etc.
​
Party comes around and its myself, John, and 2 other friends (RM was busy and didn't arrive until later, but didn't drink). John discovered that they *really* like Crown, it's the only alcohol they like really. By the end of the party, only about a quarter of the Crown Royal is gone though, because John is a light weight. John said to just keep the alcohol at my house since they only really drink when we're together for parties (which are normally held at my place) and of course, I said that's fine.
​
Now RM knew that the alcohol from John's party was John's alcohol, even though I bought it, it was given to them as a gift. I put the alcohol up on the alcohol shelf, because we had no where else to put it, and then went on about my week. I had a few days off, so I decided I would go back home (I lived about an hour away) to spend time with other friends and family, plus it would give me a break from RM. RM's mom had been coming over a lot lately to help with some project RM was working on for theatre, so I was glad to be away.
​
Well I come back at the end of my break, and see that the Crown Royal is just.... Gone. The bottle is on the counter completely empty. I ask RM about it and they say that their mom drank it and RM had offered some to a friend when they were over, but they didn't drink any. None of the other alcohol was touched, just the Crown. So I messaged John and said that I was sorry, but RM's mom had drank all their Crown. As expected, John was furious, just as much as I was. After talking with them and the other friends at the party, they told me that I should totally ask to be reimbursed the cost of the alcohol, because it was made clear that the alcohol was theirs and not open for consumption.
​
Now, I would also like to point out here that, although RM and I would share our alcohol, we didn't really drink the same things. RMF was more into wine, which I didn't like at all, and I enjoyed mixed drinks with Rum, which RM wasn't fond of. So we normally just bought our own alcohol or took turns buying alcohol as repayment when we drank the other person's.
​
So imagine my surprise when I message her and this is how the conversation goes...
**Me:** Hey, so that Crown was John's alcohol that was bought for his birthday and he's really upset that it's all gone because it was the only alcohol he really liked. He's asking that you either reimburse him for the alcohol or buy him a new bottle of the same size.
**RM:** Okay so no, I will not be buying John a new bottle or reimburse him for it and here's why: 1) I don't have the money to do so because you still owe me and my parents money for rent and bills *(Even though I had already worked out a payment arrangement with them for when they covered me when I was transitioning jobs, and they never brought up that I owed them money any other time that I asked to be reimbursed for things, like groceries and such.)* 2) My mom drank the alcohol, not me. If you or John would like to take that up with her, than feel free to do so.
**Me:** Okay, then I'll message (RM's Mom) and take it up with her. Regardless, the alcohol wasn't yours to offer to anyone and even though we share alcohol a lot of the time, Crown is a bit more expensive than Malibu and the other types of alcohol we normally buy. I don't appreciate you offering it up without asking first. Please ask next time.
**RM:** I didn't offer it to anybody. In case you haven't noticed, my mother does her own thing. If you don't want things being eaten or drank by anybody other than yourself, then don't leave them in the kitchen. Because if it's in the kitchen, then the understanding is that it's free reign to anybody in the house.
**Me:** You told me when I got home you had offered it to (RM's Friend). Whether he drank it or not, you put out the invitation. And drinking some is fine, but the whole bottle? That's a bit excessive especially when it isn't yours. The polite thing to do is ask before taking, even if it is "free reign to anybody."
​
RM never responded to that message. I sent a message to RM's mother and her response was "next time you see John, give him the money it was worth and we'll deduct that from what is owed on bills.” So that’s what I did. I paid John $40 for alcohol that RM’s mom drank, and **still** paid RM and her family $400 when I moved out (which was over $100 more than what I owed them because I was just so tired of fighting with them over money).
​
​
TL;DR: Roommate’s mom drank alcohol that was purchased for a friends birthday. Ask to be reimbursed for it. Friend fought with & lied to me about it, told me to talk to their mom about it. I did and I paid friend $40 for the alcohol and paid Roommate and her family $400 when I moved out (over $100 more than I owed)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
R2a09EyKRgdXv54NmeWspS3U5503TXFD
|
amvwqy
|
{
"description": "confronting my ex 3 years on",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for confronting my ex 3 years on?
|
So the backstory.
3 years ago me and this girl were in a relationship. It was highschool senior year (I'm not from the US so we don't have a relaxed dating culture) the first time for both of us and lasted for 4 months before she dropped of the face of the earth for a couple of days, and ended it without giving a reason. We never fought or anything, and she constantly avoided telling me her reasons so I was left wondering why. I had a 3 year crush on her as well so her leaving me fucked me up for a good year or so before I got over it. Also vital information, both of us share a very close friend and practically the same social circle.
Fast forward 3 years. Me, my ex, and our friend all end up in the same college and same major. Since then I've dealt with my ex a number of times and we never really had a problem. All 3 of us are in the same course, which is basically one big group project. Naturally, since I'm close friends with our mutual friend, and having partnered with my ex on previous smaller projects before I assumed we'd all be on the same group. However, I was talking with my friend and she told me they are both already in a group, and that I'm not in because my ex doesn't want me there. I was pissed off for like 5 minutes and then dropped the subject.
I go talk to my ex in the hopes of figuring out what her problem with me is and fixing it so that situation doesn't happen again. She gives me the same runaround, gets all defensive and doesn't say shit, at which point I stop trying to talk and just lay into her (nothing vulgar, just confrontational). The conversation ends there.
The next day my friend texts me saying that I'm wrong about talking to her in the first place, we're not that close as friends ( we've been close for 5 years now), and that she looks at me differently now cuz apparently I'm the asshole, even though I'm the one who got fucked over now and 3 years ago.
So am I the asshole? If so what do I do? If not, what do I do as well?
I realize the whole thing may seem childish to some, it probably is. Just take into consideration that we're not actually adults.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
NxhdSCADlGZGFsLQdpsJ9k9NDD43hiyd
|
abq54n
|
{
"description": "prioritizing my strict moral expectations for myself over my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for prioritizing my strict moral expectations for myself over my friend?
|
My close friend of several years (we'll refer to her as Mary) dated this guy (we'll call him Roger), but it ended up being a one night stand-ish ordeal. She had felt very genuinely towards him, but Roger severed the relationship after only a few days, leaving her with a negative, whorish self-image. She proceeded to express intense loathe towards him and generally spoke negatively of him, with me trying to provide as much emotional support as I could, as it is something I know she would do for me.
In the following weeks, things healed, and she began to catch feelings for him again. The trash talking ended, and she began instead asking for advice on whether to ask him for another go at a relationship. Mary and I were at a football game. It was halftime, so we were heading towards the concession stand. Along the way, we were greeted by Roger, who had been talking to a friend of his who apparently bet him to kiss a guy. Roger asked me if I would be willing to kiss him for $5. My though process was that 1) Mary had been in a positive enough place with Roger that she wouldn't loathe me for accepting and 2) it was a meaningless, harmless bet, so I accepted (also it was not a serious kiss, it was a small smooch on the lips).
At the time that this occurred, I had not been aware of the sexual nature of their relationship. But later that night, Mary told me everything about the encounter that she had during her first stab at a relationship with Roger, and how betrayed I made her feel. However, while I overall empathized with her, I could not find myself hating Roger.
Also later that night, Roger DM'ed me, asking how I knew I liked guys (I am currently a closeted homosexual, only letting my closest friends know due to the homophobic nature of my community and family, and Mary had apparently told Roger because he asked), because, he enjoyed when I kissed him. I was shocked, but still helped him understand the feelings he was having. I empathized with him because I was in a similar situation, unsure of what I wanted in a relationship.
I immediately told Mary about the encounter, and she was unhappy that I decided to help him, calling me "harshly opinionated."
As stated in the title, I hold myself to strict moral standards, one of which is to never have negative relations with anyone. I try not to dislike anyone unless they've personally offended me, and even then, I've managed to forgive and forget over the years.
Am I wrong to hold myself to this standard and potentially damage my relationship with my close friend?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
4YhKgruV3tKGFAA8brzKEyKURXM1Ufdp
|
ag3rqu
|
{
"description": "being angry at my sister and her friends for messing with my hair",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being angry at my sister and her friends for messing with my hair?
|
I am a guy btw. My older sister and her friends are very into makeup and stuff. One of her friends I think has a crush on me although I think they are weirdos. Anyhow I fall asleep on the couch and when I wake up my hair has been done with scrunchies and into plaits. AITA to regard this as an invasion of privacy?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
LHWdjhHFx5X9TpyW9SAfZg39megNTb1C
|
as4jl0
|
{
"description": "not paying for the fence",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not paying for the fence
|
Okay let me start by saying I’m not the person this is about but idk what the sub is when you want to find out if another person is being an asshole. So bear with me if you can.
We are building a house for these clients in a rich, waterfront neighbourhood. We are coming close to finishing and the price all up is getting pretty high so the clients insist on doing somethings for themselves here and there.
One of these things was building the fence on the left side. The owner is not a very handy person so he called upon his two brothers to help out one of which is a carpenter.
Neighbours on the left side were notified and were aware that the fence was being built so they were prepared. Although they refused to pay for the fence at all.
The fence took about one week to be built and the very next day the neighbour on the left calls in a surveyor which cost him about a grand which would’ve been less than the amount to pay for the fence.
The surveyor determined that the fence breaches the the Boundry line by 70 mil and so now the neighbour wants to fence removed entirely and re-done
Is he not an asshole for not being involved from the start where he could have got exactly what he wanted and paid less money?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
mnH1e1JivSmgAbzRJINrGqOLxoT32uxJ
|
a99sf7
|
{
"description": "refusing to see an ex's kid who is not of any relation to me 8 years after we split up",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for refusing to see an ex's kid who is not of any relation to me 8 years after we split up?
|
Here is a little back story. I dated this person for a little under 3 years around 8-10 years ago. We were both in our early 20's and she has a then 1 year old son from a previous relationship. She told me the kids father was a dead beat dad and beating her and what not (found out later all of that was a lie). I played acting father figure to the kid when we were together so he met my folks and entire family. We never had any of our own and I am still not a father to any children. So anyways, her whereabouts and other things start to not ad up and I get a bit suspicious over the time we are together but just cant quite make sense of it all... and then her boss calls me concerned about her safety. This of course is a few days after she has explained to me that she has been fired and hasn't been going to work. Apparently I'm the emergency contact she wrote down on the application that's on file and the boss and I have a nice chat about her current employment. I promptly call her and tell her what has transpired and she comes up with yet another bullshit story. Needless to say I drove my happy ass over to her place after work and I told her it's over. I met with her son and sat him down face to face and I cried right then and there when I told him I wasn't going to be around anymore. That was honestly the hardest part of the entire break up by far.
​
Fast forward a year after we split and the kids dad is fighting for custody and she gave him up entirely. The state is after her for medical neglect. The kid has Diamond-Blackfan anemia and the entire time we were together she neglected his condition and he was hospitalized at least twice while we were dating. I didn't know the severity because she downplayed the condition and she seemed to have it under control to my knowledge with the lies and all. Little did I know that when she was supposed to be going to doctors appointments she was pawning him off on her sister and doing other things. Turns out the dad is a stand up guy and was only trying to be there for his son this whole time!
​
My parents have continued to play the grandparent role to the child and have been in contact with the kids dad and his new stepmom this entire time. The biological father and his wife give him to my folks when they need babysitting duties. I have absolutely no problem with all of that. Like not even a little. That kid has had a rough life thus far! Especially with his mom being the dumpster fire that she is and I'm glad he finally has a support network.
​
I made a choice a long time ago that I needed to leave the painful memories of that toxic relationship behind me and move on with my life. I thought that the young age of the child would help him forget about me especially since he can now make new meaningful memories with his biological father. My parents have not let that happen. They constantly try to get him back in my life. I've told them how I feel about it and they ignore my wishes. I don't care if they have him over for the holidays and what not. I have just exclaimed that i'd like them to keep me out of it entirely. It's a bit embarrassing explaining this to every person I've dated since her and also my now wife when they mention their "grandson".
​
AITA for refusing to have him in my life?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
R9xXTfvhXH6wAAJJCXZOJO7LF7PcMPXy
|
an17x2
|
{
"description": "not telling my friend what happened at A Party",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Not Telling My Friend What Happened At A Party?
|
CONTEXT: I am a male, most people at the party are male. She and me had a little bit of chemistry before the party but we lost touch until my friends party.
Alright so this has been chewing me up lately and I need advice.
So I went to my friends bday party and we’ll call him Harold so I went to the party and everything seems to be fine, I was chilling with her and Harold and other friends having a genuinely good time chilling and talking about everything. So Harold goes upstairs and so does most people besides me and her and we start talking and It was pretty cool, so she starts holding my hand and that was like okey dokey welp this is my life now.
So she said to everyone that we were dating or whatever and I agreed to it do it was all pretty nice and chill, she said to one of Harold’s friends that she was single. So I thought I was in the clear or whatever, so we just held hands until she had to go. She kissed me goodbye and left.
The next day in the morning I text her since we exchanged numbers and she acts confused when I wanted to call her and talk or whatevs, so I don’t think much of it and just shrug and wait for her to call me. So about an hour later she texted me saying that she took something before she went to the party and didn’t remember much, and that she was in a relationship...
She didn’t remember anything of the party.
I didn’t tell her about it because I don’t know how to access the situation.
TL;DR
She took something before She went to my friends party, was high af and hooked up with me. She Kissed me. Texted me she was high af at the party and didn’t remember jack shit and was in a relationship. I haven’t told her yet about what happened.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ql0p8bRL6avhh0p6wr7oxqnbmh3iFgpk
|
ac8rp8
|
{
"description": "not being psychic and knowing what my grieving MIL wants",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not being psychic and knowing what my grieving MIL wants
|
So, some quick background, my husband 3 kids and I moved in with my MIL back in July to help raise our 2 nephews because she works 2nd shift ft and I'm a stay at home mom. There's more details in my post history if anyone cared to dig.
My MIL is mostly a very nice lady. She can be very passive aggressive though, instead of acting like an adult and saying she'd prefer something else, she pouts or rage cleans. My husband has always been lazy when it comes to helping with kids, he will be staring at his phone while I'm busy as he'll, and when I ask him to jump in a nd help, acts like he's totally put out.
Last week, we got a call my BIL was found unresponsive. After several days in hospital, he was declared brain dead. MIL decided to donate his organs, so it took several more days in hospital while they did testing and set up donations. This is also winter break for the kids (5 total). I was happy to jump in (99% of childcare already on me, I am now doing 100%). That's all over now, and his service is Sun.
Kids have been sick, so has MIL, and now I've got it. I was up all night before last with screaming 3 yo with ear infection, got no sleep. Now I'm exhausted and sick too. I told husband and MIL if I was taking care of kids last night, bedtime was going to be early, as I'm sick too and exhausted. MIL had been going through pics at table for last few days. Her rule is only food at table. So dinner last night, I started to throw down a blanket for a picnic dinner. She got bit snappy Says she was cleaning table off. Ok. Tgen bedtime snack, table still mostly clear except for album directly in front of her. I set 3 of kids at table, said be careful with your drinks. If she didn't want them at table, she could have said as much, I'd have moved them elsewhere. Instead she grabbed her things went into bedroom and slammed door then started sobbing loudly. Kids were freaked out by it, so I was then reassuring them that grandma was just sad about thier uncle, it was ok, just brush teeth lay down with thier tablets. Once they were in bed, I went and sat on futon in front room, only other place for me to sleep. I left lights on in case she decided to come back out with pics. She came out in PJs, got drink went back in bedroom. I assumed that meant she was going to bed o r at least her room for night. So I finally turned off light laid down. Few minutes later, I heard 3 yo crying. Husband had laid down with her at 630 fell asleep, left me with other 4 kids. I told husband his mom was upset, ran over what happened. He went off on me, saying I should have asked what she wanted, or should have known. I was a bitch for being mean to his grieving mom.
I'm truly trying my best to be helpful, but I'm also sick and was already at my breaking point as caretaker. My break got cancelled twice with the goings on due to my BIL dying. I understand that, it sucks for me, but it is what it is. But I think expecting me to read Mil's mind is a bit much. She could have easily said hey, not at table, I'd have changed plans. Instead she threw a fit.
So, AITA for thinking even if grieving, an adult should be able to express their feelings to me without all the drama? Keep in mind, this is not new to her grieving period, she's done this several times since we have been here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
UWp76SaaxRtNDG3jyvQf4fntcIHEeSKK
|
axaue3
|
{
"description": "missing my aunt's (eventual) funeral",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA for missing my aunt's (eventual) funeral?
|
So for like my entire life, my aunt has been basically non-existent in my life, and in fact has always been only looking out for number one.
As a teen she was a runaway. She's got an adversarial relationship with her siblings. She was in the hospital hallway on the phone the entire time her mom was on her deathbed. She shunned her son and only looks after her daughters.
I cannot remember a single Christmas gift from her. I'm disabled and she'd grumble about having to push my wheelchair.
Having said all that, I get along fine with my cousins. I decided long ago that if my aunt died, I'd skip the funeral, but my Mom says it'd be important to support her kids.
Would I be the asshole if I skipped out on her farewell?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
0dj9aBrXRmTRMeLRIyyUVKmSu7OK1H4J
|
b8wtd2
|
{
"description": "being frustrated with the father of my child",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being frustrated with the father of my child?
|
I'm UK based and get a certain amount of maternity and child benefit paid into my account. My partner works and our baby is his second child - his first born lives in a town not far away but he has to travel every weekend to see him. He's paid roughly £700/800 a month compared to my roughly £600. He works 3 days a week 2pm-9pm while I take care of the baby (he takes the night feeds as he's usually up until 3/4am anyway).
The reason I'm frustrated is this - we both pay £200 a month in rent as we're living in my families property. Beforehand I worked 6 days a week anywhere between 10 to 14 hours, paid our £600 a month rent, paid for the shopping and would give him money for the bills that came out of his account. Now I've obviously taken a step back, but every month when my money comes in not only am I still spending £100+ on shopping for the month and giving him half of the debt we're in, he's asking for half of all my pay because the baby is half his responsibility and he has to pay £10 a week in travel to see his first born.
I'm not angry with him and a big part of me thinks he's probably right, but it's getting me down that I can't afford to go out or do anything with my friends or the baby while he can afford to buy parts for a computer that he's 'building for me' that I didn't ask for and haven't used once.
The sentiment is so nice and our relationship is great otherwise, and he's a brilliant partner and dad to both his kids, I'm just... Frustrated.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
LBKUJhSPPNkBlKy0mJfCcXU4cyr44Kak
|
ax3bpm
|
{
"description": "calling my friend fat",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for calling my friend fat?
|
I go to a pretty small public highschool and my friend is one of the biggest kids in our school, but he is also the strongest and sometimes that gets to his head. So my friend is constantly making fun of me for not being able to lift as much as him and calls me weak constantly even though i can lift a good amount already. Then i retaliate by calling him fat and how i can do more body weight exercises than him. He then gets all butthurt and I tell him that I wont make fun of his weight if he stops calling me weak constantly. He says the 2 things are completely different and I shouldnt make fun of him.
So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
06sJSR7Y3JtjeItbKjtMoKluA0beAYFf
|
b6iegy
|
{
"description": "asking my friend to stick to a schedule for when we can talk",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my friend to stick to a schedule for when we can talk
|
Hello all - pretty low stakes game here, but I'd like an outside opinion.
​
I am abroad in Europe, in my first year of grad school, while my good friend is working in the US; we are 6 hours apart time-zone wise. We have made a good effort to keep in touch while I've been abroad, via Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook etc. We haven't been that good about talking to each other on FaceTime though. She works a regular workday, 8:30-6, while I have classes, review sessions, and meetings scattered throughout the week in long chunks (some scheduled weekly, like class, some ad hoc like meetings with professors)
​
Sometimes, she will call me without any warning, and about 90% of the time it is when I am busy. She'll usually call on her way to work, when it's the middle of the day for me. When she gets home in the evening, it will be 11pm or midnight, and I usually am in bed by that point as I have early classes most mornings.
​
I want to suggest that we fill out a schedule for when is a good time to call, and make it a set weekly time. Her calling randomly never works and I feel like a dick for never being able to pick up. Admittedly, I don't ever call her randomly like this - not only do I just not think to do so (which doesn't paint me as a good and interested friend, it's true) but also I feel like most times I'd be free to call, she's at work, so I don't call.
​
Would I be the asshole if I told her that random calling can't work for us while I'm still here (we only have 2 more months before I'm back in the US), and that we should fill out a schedule for a weekly or biweekly catch up. I am worried that this would come off as too clinical, or that I \*only\* want to talk to her during those times. I don't! I love Snapchatting and sending quick texts or messages on Insta and Facebook.
​
So Reddit - am I the asshole? (Bad friend? any advice otherwise?)
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
9i9jwynZOBNGnG2rOERcnoBGNhKTbNk7
|
b2dvk1
|
{
"description": "addressing my GF's compalont and change my behavior toward her",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for addressing my GF's compalont and change my behavior toward her?
|
First time poster, English is my second language sorry for odd syntax.
Long story short. Few days ago, i tried to initiate some intimacy between us the sane way I've always did. She did not felt like it, but i still kept going. I always start witha good full body massage to setup the mood and it always turns me on real rast when she moans like that. She's also into light BDSM (morr like being dominated, being tied, and the like)
I have this horrible habit to say stupid shit and when she did got mad when she felt me poking, i stated in a joking way "its your fault with your moaning and all" to wich she replied that was too far. It then dawned on me all i did in past with her; every time she wasn't feeling intimate and i convinced her, and the remarks i thought was kinky. I still feel disgusted by my behavior.
Last night i told her my resolution which was i will be more careful, i will respect her the way she should be respected, i will wait her express consent before doing anything. She now feels bad about it, regret telling me the truth and said i make her feel horrible for saying that. Am I the asshole for my careful behavior ?
I really love her and it really breaks my heart to realize i disrespected her like that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
pthjR6KaFs9ZS4oFTGnfMS3MbIEhSkN3
|
b71pwu
|
{
"description": "asking my mom to stop humming in public",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for asking my mom to stop humming in public?
|
My first post so excuse any mistakes please but am I the asshole for wanting my mom to stop humming and singing in public locations and in the car? She sings and hums alot and it gets very annoying.
I’ll say here that her humming and singing is very loud and she seems to try and command attention. She is always loud and when I have a headache she will act like a saint telling everyone to be quiet but two seconds later she starts talking in her loud voice. I can let that go because she is a teacher but when told to stop she might for a few minutes at most and then she’ll do it again.
The whole family has asked her to stop a lot and she will say “I cant help it!” We (my brother and I) prevent ourselves from saying, doing, and starting things all the time why can’t she? So tell me, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
psTQ0LxF9yauOECK7IMZMqNK8A8yFIyY
|
a48466
|
{
"description": "wanting to keep my desk heater on in the office",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting to keep my desk heater on in the office?
|
Hi everyone, I am really not sure what to think of this situation. I am a legal assistant at a law firm. Across from me sits another legal assistant. There is a barrier between us and a decent amount of distance between us. I find the office cold and I have been using a small desk heater as of recent. I only point it at myself and turn it on and off periodically. It is very small. So the other assistant that sits beside me is very warm all the time. She said that since she had a child her body temperature has gone up a few degrees. Anyway, she has been asking me to turn off my tiny heater and told me I should bring a sweater to work instead. I told her that it doesn’t really do the trick which is why I use the small heater which again, is only pointing at me. I don’t see how it’s even affecting her because there are times she asks me to turn off the heater and it isn’t even on and I tell her this. So today, she was in a sour mood because she asked me to turn off my heater and I did not do it. I was cold and find it hard to work when I am uncomfortably chilly. I told her to turn on her fan and she said that it’s counter productive and I think but am not sure that she mentioned a sweater again. So anyway, I keep it on and she is noticeably silent and just clearly mad at me. Afterward she is talking to the receptionist about how hot it is (the receptionist found it hot too but three other people I talked to said the office was cold) and I suggest she turns down the thermostat for the whole office. She says it would be rude because other people are also cold.
Now the next thing that happens really makes me doubt that I am the asshole but nonetheless...earlier on one of the articling students was asking me to help her with something. She then comes over to the other legal assistant and asks her how to phrase something. Since I had been helping and discussing the same file and task with the articling student earlier,
I asked what they were talking about. I also thought the other assistant might have said she was busy so I was offering my help. I might have interrupted a bit by accident. Anyway, the other assistant said “she’s asking ME frozenofficegirl, stop trying to undermine me.” And I was like “I’m not undermining you...” and she said “Yes you are and you’ve been doing it all the time and I can’t take it anymore!” And then she took a break and also left early and didn’t come to our weekly Friday happy hour. Now my boss is very close with her so I figured I would suggest I switch desks with someone since my heater bothers the other legal assistant a lot. Am I the asshole? Also, what can I do here to fix the issue?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
DH37nYS1iaY7X9oo6PY8xi6pB6qukli5
|
ae1ho2
|
{
"description": "parking in an empty reserved spot to pick something up from a porch",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for parking in an empty reserved spot to pick something up from a porch?
|
On the way home from work today I had to pick something up from my daughter's school friend's porch. They live on a pretty busy road with no street parking. I m not feeling well and am rushing to get home so of course I absentmindedly drove passed their drive way. I pulled into the next multi unit lot and park in an empty spot.
I'm rushing with my daughter to grab the item when I hear someone say "hey guys"
I turn and look and see a a man with a dog on a leach and he nods toward my vehicle.
Confused, I held eye contact awkwardly for a few seconds before I realized that must be his spot.
I apologized and begin to explain that we're literally grabbing and going as I walk back toward my car.
He says "it's okay"
I say "cool thanks!" And I turn back to go get the package.
And he says "it's just kind of rude"
And I stop, in a little disbelief at this point and say "I didn't realize it was a reserved spot until after I got out" I didn't! I probably could have assumed it was but, honestly, almost missed that driveway too so I didn't even think to look.
He says "and you're a bad liar"
Fin.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
cCkUrEdcuFirC7H9ENgA9viGURVmpOWy
|
b2fh47
|
{
"description": "fighting with my gf over kittens",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for fighting with my GF over kittens?
|
I've always wanted a kitten and a few months ago, a stray followed me home and I adopted him. My family was not pleased because our landlord doesn't allow pets. But they grew to like him and the landlord gave us the OK.
Prior to adopting, I had been sending m6 gf pics of white cats because I always wanted one. Imagine the occasional cat pic as a reaction instead of an emoji.
Anyway, one day I come home and she makes me close my eyes as she grabs a box from her car. When she let's me open my eyes, inside the box is not one, but TWO white kittens!
She had apparently been looking for white kittens for a while and found a couple that were about to be euthanized at the shelter. She brought them home for me.
I recognize this was sweet of her and she has a good heart. But I was already on eggshells with 1 cat. 3 is a lot. What's worse is that our original cat was not friendly to the new kittens. They would often fight and the little ones constantly hide in fear. This has been going on for months with no improvement at all.
Tbh, it upset me that she brought them. They're cute, but she is 100% aware that I'm not supposed to have pets. I would have been OK if all the cats got along, but there's hostility in my animal kingdom. The kittens are saved from euthanasia, but they live in fear everyday.
AITA for disliking her gift, telling her she shouldn't have done this, and giving one of the cats away next week? ...Even though she spent a time and effort to surprise me with something she knew I liked?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Xw0kiEgDGalWmUWqn4b288fQnBLPC5sB
|
azeqgb
|
{
"description": "not telling my mother about my future plans",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling my mother about my future plans?
|
So a little bit of a back story: I am a 15 year old that goes in 10th ( last ) year of primary school. My mother always wanted me to gymnasium or higher education school in English. I got nice school marks etc. so I don't think it would be a problem, however I decided that I want to do a trade as a fitness advisor while also going to a 3 year long evening school to get a equally useful diploma as the one from highschool. Needless to say, my mother got furious when I told her yesterday and I am not sure if it's my fault.
I think I should have talked to her about it, but she's not necessarily mad because I didn't tell her, but because I don't want to go to a normal school that requires a lot more effort than evening school but the same result.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
GOflYl0W86VUsK6PYCWGVjeaqm9nf6VM
|
aayapo
|
{
"description": "ghosting a friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for ghosting a friend?
|
This happened a few months ago, but it's been looming over my head ever since. Throwaway account since some people know my main account username. I apologize that this is a long one.
I have been friends with a boy (who I'll call Alex from here on out) for more than 10 years. At the beginning of the "friendship", though, I didn't like Alex too much. We didn't have anything in common, he was a bit awkward and we had different friends, but we were kind of forced to be around each other since we were next-door neighbors and our parents would talk occasionally. He moved after a year or two and I didn't see him at all after that.
Fast forward about 6-7 years, Alex and I reconnected through a mutual friend on Facebook. Even though I didn't really consider him a "friend" in the past, it was still nice to see him after all these years and catch up. We exchanged numbers and met up in person a few times. We still didn't have too much in common, but like I said, it was still nice to see him.
A bit after we reconnected, Alex confided in me that he's been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts over the past few months. He told me that he doesn't have any real friends as people really only kept him around to ask him for help on homework, classwork, etc. Alex knew what they were doing, but he helped out since he just wanted to be a nice person. To be completely honest, I wasn't expecting to meet him very frequently after we reconnected since we just didn't have anything in common, and our conversations don't really go anywhere. Alex can also be unintentionally condescending sometimes, which was frequent enough for me to notice but didn't bother me TOO much at the time (this is important later). But when he told me all of the hardships that he's been through, I just wanted to be there for him, as corny as that sounds. Even if we didn't meet up in person, we'd text frequently and I'd just ask him if he was doing okay.
Fast forward about 5 more years, we're both going to different universities but still keeping in touch through text. Around my junior year, I went through a bout of depression. I tried to keep it to myself but it got to the point where I just needed to confide in someone. I thought of Alex since he's been through depression too, and maybe he could help me get through it. When I did reach out to him though, the first thing he said to me was, "Everyone's depressed. Join the club." I was taken aback by this comment, so I just wrapped up the conversation. A few weeks later, I was honest with him in how his comment did hurt a bit, but he said he was just being honest and didn't see anything wrong with what he said. I told him it's a bit insensitive and condescending, and he disagreed. This wasn't the first time he's said something of this nature, but this time it really hit me and I felt that I really didn't want to keep someone like this around. My effort to talk to him honestly about how his comment made me feel was just tossed aside, and he was unable to have a shred of empathy about it. From that moment on, I ghosted him.
He's tried to reach out to me a couple of times after that day, and I've ignored every one of them. I've stopped checking up on him through text. He's confused as to why I'm choosing to ignore him. I know that ghosting someone isn't necessarily the best way to handle things sometimes, but I just felt that even if I did try to explain myself, he just wouldn't understand and say even more insensitive things. I've told some close friends about the situation and they agree that it's good to cut out people that are toxic like this, but I just wanted to get input from a few internet strangers if this was the best thing to do.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
CyoPip5piuaQbYLLpELiyVjPpkGEtSkl
|
ah2skf
|
{
"description": "calling someone out for spamming Craigslist Free Section with a sick kitten",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling someone out for spamming Craigslist Free Section with a sick kitten?
|
The free section of craigslist in my area gets far too many listings for pets, despite being specifically not acceptable for that section.
Other Person lists *sick* kitten on craigslist free section, begging for someone to pay ten dollars for it and then take it to a vet.
I send an email:
>
> Free stuff (no "wanted" ads, pets, promotional giveaways, or intangible/digital items please)
>
> What part of "no pets" do you not understand?
The first part is a direct cut and paste of the menu selection to select the free section, the second is my comment.
Other Person Replies:
> You know, you dont have to be an asshole correct?
If everyone put their unwanted pet on craigslist free, it would make that section far less usable, which is presumably why the rule exists.
Am I the asshole for calling someone out for breaking the rules by spamming?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
xyDgIkSWCzrTvFqqiNV3oUJRC2UYGgq7
|
b3sn0r
|
{
"description": "worrying about the fact that my girlfriend smoked a joint with a random homeless man",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For worrying about the fact that my girlfriend smoked a joint with a random homeless man?
|
As the title says.
My girlfriend just told me that she smoked a joint with a random homeless guy on the street. When I brought up the fact that she could maybe catch something. (I think, or am I wrong?) I said how that has the potential to affect me and that doing that kind of stuff has dangers.
I specifically brought up gonorrhea (yeah, I’ll admit that was an asshole move)
She got mad at me for making her feel gross and told me that if I didn’t want to catch anything than maybe I just shouldn’t kiss/be intimate with her when we see each other tomorrow.
Am I the asshole here? I think I maybe handled the situation like an asshole but my worries feel warranted...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
Ok9XiI7o9sxD7e2RJRD405UaC4eZU05n
|
atapke
|
{
"description": "having a thing with a married woman who's on \"break\"",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for having a thing with a married woman who’s on “break”?
|
Her and her husband are apparently on a “break” as she says. She currently lives in her own place, and I’ve been there multiple times.
Soon after she met me, they took a break according to her and then she basically hinted at us seeing each other. She’s attractive so why not?
Here’s the thing. I’m not a mean or a bad person. I don’t know if I’m letting my dick do the thinking, and that I’m the asshole here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
d3roflx94zssgskcPi3zQTRmVlo21yzc
|
9zkizx
|
{
"description": "telling my uncle-in-law he needed to leave Thanksgiving dinner when he wouldn't stop attacking people politically",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my uncle-in-law he needed to leave Thanksgiving dinner when he wouldn't stop attacking people politically?
|
He is VERY conservative (and religious) and I guess that's fine, but as soon as he got there he had on a MAGA hat and a shirt that said "monica sucks but not like hillary" and was told it's not OK in front of kids, but to his credit (after my Aunt's help) changed into one of my shirts for the night. Then 2 mins later started saying his rights were being violated for not being able to wear his shirt. he started bringing up other political crap (cant rememebr everything) but pretty much Hillary's emails, the media, and Islam and people kept telling him it isn't the place for that but he kept going at it with people, even if they didn't respond back because he knows their views. Then started complaining how liberals are destroying this country and something about George Soros, then another family member mentioned that a Trump supporter just tried to kill him with a bomb and my UIL said it was a hoax to make trump supporters look bad. Keep in mind during all of this people (including me) tried to nicely get him to stop, but he would just say we are violating his free speech and we are fascist and were "NPCs" and libtards.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
uqVeEQvZ6g3WR1tCox24QsuxlaTwnml2
|
aij60l
|
{
"description": "getting frustrated when my bf didn't respond and taking a shift at work instead",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting frustrated when my bf didn’t respond and taking a shift at work instead?
|
Okay so for some context, I’ve (US) been in an LDR with my boyfriend (UK) for almost five months now. The only saving grace is that his sleep schedule is messed up enough so that we can actually talk. I have class on weekdays and I work on weekends, leaving the only time we have together during my evenings and his late nights. Overall, we don’t really have many issues. The biggest one is the time thing. He wakes up and waits around long past when I go to bed to make sure I’m okay (though I’ve told him he doesn’t have to wait around once I’ve gone to bed) but basically today I had off of classes and we were supposed to spend it together, but by 12:30 my time I hadn’t heard from him.
The day before this, my manager was mentioning how one of my coworkers would be working the front (despite her job being food prep) because they didn’t have anyone. I impulsively said I could work, but then remembered my plans and I felt like shit so I lied to my manager saying I had plans I had blanked over.
Fast forward to today and I woke up planning to talk to my bf. When I didn’t hear from him right away I assumed he was asleep and carried on with my errands. Around 12:00 my time I got a text from my mom asking if I wanted to meet her for lunch (at my workplace) I said yes, thinking that if they asked I could tell them I was stopping in before my plans (horribly impulsive, I know) once I stepped foot in I noticed how busy it was. They had kitchen staff delivering food and only four people staffed total. I looked down at my phone and still no word from my bf and it was 12:30. I had an event at 5:00 so at that point I knew we wouldn’t have much time anyways so I stepped in to help work. I let him know I’d be working and id talk to him later. It should be noted that it was in a very pissy tone because I was annoyed that the day was almost over and I had made a point to have it off.
We got into an argument as expected and he was more pissed off than he’d ever been and I do feel partially in the wrong. I also found out his phone died and he had originally set an alarm to be up before me so we really could spend the whole day together which made me feel even worse about going into work even though I felt partially obligated since I lied to my manager.
TL;DR
I had plans with my LDR bf but when he didn’t respond after a while (despite his phone dying while he slept) I took a shift at work instead
Tbh I’m kinda hoping I’m the asshole here but I honestly don’t know
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UjQiIDxOz6HIHHAICNyIJS5mU9OHBmh6
|
aiwb5l
| null |
AITA and creating unnecessary problems at work?
|
I (33 M) have been dealing with ongoing issues with a colleague who I will refer to as G (40 F) at work. I am having trouble letting go of the situation and don't feel like I am in the wrong, but would like some validation in my opinion or to hear differing thoughts regarding the situation.
Just some background, this colleague and myself have been with the company for around 9 years and have worked together for 4 of those years. We ate lunch together daily, often times separately from people within our department and regularly had personal conversations regarding our families. I felt it was a very good relationship, which is likely why I am having issues with what the situation has degraded too.
The company I work for is going through a major expansion and my entire department as well as others has been moved multiple times. One of the more recent moves, paired myself and G in a rather small cubicle. Everyone in the department was in a similar situation, some had more space, some had less, but for the most part was about equal. G was vocally upset regarding the closeness of our seating situation and informed myself, others in the department and our direct report of her unhappiness. I don't know if G ever asked to officially move, but there really wasn't any space to move to even if she had made a request. I was a little hurt that she would be that upset to share a cubicle with me, but I saw her point of view as it was close proximity and thought if was a good cubemate she may be more comfortable. As time went on the situation escalated as she became more vocal and began telling individuals in other departments of her discomfort, many of whom I did not know. I felt as if these people were looking at me like I was behaving inappropriately towards G. It was very uncomfortably for me, but I didn't want to ask someone that was genuinely uncomfortable to not voice their discomfort. I informed G that her saying this bothered me and asked if I could do anything better or different that might alleviate her discomfort. She told me there wasn't anything I could do and that it was just a proximity issue and that it wasn't personal. While I was still uncomfortable, I trusted her and believed she was not being malicious or attempting to make me look bad and opted to let it go and not make a big deal about the situation.
After approximately 8 months of us sharing a cubicle, it was time for my department to move again. The week before we were scheduled to move, G asked if I wanted to go out for lunch, I had made previous lunch plans and couldn't go, which is what I informed her. I then saw her go and ask others in the department about going out for lunch, but they all had other plans as well. I felt bad because she and I usually got lunch together and it looked like she was going to have to eat alone, so I recommended G check and see if a friend of hers whom we regularly met for lunch was available, G responding by stating that was a weird and creepy thing to say. I often reminded her to text this friend when we went to lunch and I didn't view my recommendation as any different than that reminder. I had never been referred to as weird and creepy and didn't know what to do, so I just went to my lunch obligation without responding. The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me, two days after she referred to me as weird and creepy, I brought it up again, thinking she would talk about how it was a crazy day and that I caught her at a bad time, or that it was a miscommunication, something along those lines. Instead, she loudly and angrily referred to me as weird and creepy again, I tried to explain that I just felt bad and didn't want her to feel excluded, but she just kept loudly stating that it was weird and creepy, over and over. G was saying this loud enough that another colleague walked over to mediate and try to calm the situation, but he was unable to do so and I felt so humiliated, that I just stopped talking, wondering what I did wrong and hoping no one else would hear what she was saying. No one wants to be thought of as weird and creepy and to be told that by someone at work whom you trust was truly awful. We still had a few more days of sitting in the shared cubicle, I didn't understand why she spoke to me that way and wanted to talk about it, but the way she went off on me was so embarrassing, that I didn't know how to act, so I just put on headphones and focused on work. Over the course of the next few days, G acted like nothing had happened and I couldn't believe it. How could you say something like that, never talk about it and pretend like nothing had happened? I just wanted her to acknowledge that it was wrong or show some sign of caring that she hurt me, but she never did and the last day we sat next to each other was not a good one. I went to work and moved all of my belongings out of our shared cubicle early, G later mentioned to me how she had to wait for facilities to help her move, but I feel like she made this comment expecting me to offer to help. I did not offer, but rather told her that sitting next to her was not a good experience for me, packed up the remainder of my things and went to my new work area.
The new area we moved to is much larger, with everyone having their own space. About a month after moving, I noticed G spending a lot of time at the cubicle of another colleague, whom she does not share work responsibilities with. I likely would not have noticed, but this particular colleague sits adjacent to me, so I can't help but see when she goes to his cubicle. On multiple occasions, I have seen her sitting on his desk, much closer than what we sat at our cubicle, which had been a major issue for her. I overheard a conversation, where the same colleague asked her about lunch plans, specifically where she went to lunch and he was not told he was creepy or weird like I was previously. I can't help but view this as highly personal now. I feel like I was spoken about in a derogatory manner to colleagues and that I was called hurtful names, not because of anything I did, but because she had an issue with me the whole time and I was just too foolish to notice. I am so disappointed with myself for just sitting there while she spoke in what I now feel was a derogatory manner about me. I am so angry that I didn't yell back when she called me hurtful names, I wish I had so badly and I don't know how to let it go.
I hoped time would heal all wounds, but it didn't, every time she goes to the other colleagues cubicle, it feels like an insult to me. I went to our direct report and informed her (40 F) of what occurred. She spoke to G regarding the issue and scheduled a meeting, at my request, to address the situation. The meeting went very poorly, G did not take it seriously, informed me I was only taking issue with her due to her gender and repeatedly threatened me with going to HR. I do not handle confrontations well and could have handled it better. Some of the meeting going poorly is most definitely my fault, but I strongly believe the fault is mostly hers. At the conclusion of the meeting, my direct report sat separately with each of us. My boss informed me that those threats were inappropriate and that nothing would come of it, that she believed me and other people had come forward with work related issues regarding G. My direct report scheduled another meeting two weeks later, but before the second meeting could occur, G suffered a tragic lose in her family and went on bereavement for 2 weeks. I have lost people in my life and felt horrified that I could in anyway worsen a already awful situation. My direct report informed me, that the second meeting would be canceled and that another one would be scheduled approximately 5 weeks after G returns from bereavement. I told my direct report that a time frame wasn't necessary, to use her judgement and schedule a meeting when she felt G was up to it. That was approximately 3 months ago and nothing has been scheduled or spoken about since then. I still feel the same as I did previously, I just want G to explain why she felt it was necessary to act like that and acknowledge that what she said was hurtful and that she should have addressed the situation differently. I am angry all the time at work and everyday I think about confronting her, creating a scene, forcing her to address it. But another part of me remembers how we used to stop for coffee and that I genuinely did enjoy her company. I think about how G just suffered a lose and I want to give her a hug and offer support, but I believe with all my heart that she thinks I'm creepy and weird. And that she is uncomfortable to be around me. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or to worsen any situation. It has now been approximately 6 months, since she referred to me as creepy and weird and I just can't let it go, I think about it every day. At this point am I now the asshole for not moving on with my life?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
5pckw1KjRWAipDZxhiMEyvAdxrVsLxne
|
b64n60
|
{
"description": "going on holiday without my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for going on holiday without my girlfriend?
|
Hello so me and the girlfriend in a bit of a pickle and she's saying i'm in the wrong but i think i'm not, please shed some light on this.
A few months ago we booked and fully paid for our very first Holiday together. The date was set for the 1st of June. She is currently on her final year at university and during this time of year she has a bunch of exams to do and it's very stressful. The idea for the holiday was that she finishes her exam on the last day of May and the following day we go away. Turns out one of her exams has been moved to the 3rd of June when we should be away in another country. We would lose 50% of our total money spent if we cancel and we would lose 30% if we reebook.
The problem is, i'm not exactly well off and i cannot afford to reebook and spend the same amount of money for another holiday. I told her if we cancel we can't go on another holiday until next year essentially due tocother commitments we have going on.
It's neither of our faults this has happened but i put all my eggs in this basket and i like this basket. I was going to invite a friend to come along and pay for her side so she gets her money back.
I explained that's what i wanted to do but she's saying i'm being an asshole as this was supposed to be our holiday. I don't particulary want to waste my money so if i do go ahead with this. Would i be the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
ni3W6EMTa6TPhokDSqpQ7TnDenOYREyx
|
b02eou
|
{
"description": "ending a friendship after they supported someone who is ruining my Professional Reputation and broke my heart",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Ending a Friendship After They Supported Someone Who Is Ruining My Professional Reputation and Broke My Heart?
|
About 6 months ago, I discovered a popular supplier selling damaged goods. Since I was scared of them, and no one would listen to me alone, I gave the information to another larger company, AC.
AC excitedly went public with the information. He became popular, and had a huge influx of customers. Due to a mistake, it came out that I was the leak. No big deal, we rolled with it, I had a minor increase in my own customers, nothing major. We communicated regularly, until it became clear we had strong romantic feelings for one another. I cut it off, because he is married with children.
A week or so later, I spoke to a supplier who used to work bad supplier. He knew about the damaged goods, but was afraid. He thanked me for going public, and offers me a discount on his newest product. I place an order.
A few days later, AC insisted that we talk on the phone. I explained my feelings were too raw, so talking would only cause more pain since a relationship was impossible. I told him i couldn't go to his store because I still loved him. He said we would talk when I was ready, and to know he would always love me.
Days later my order from the new supplier arrived. I put up the product for sale. The next day, AC released a statement, denouncing me for selling the product, accusing me of using him to get more customers, being part of a conspiracy to take him down, and of manipulating his feelings to get what I want. He also says I played a "cat and mouse game", and suddenly stopped talking to him and shopping at his store for no reason.
I was shocked and devastated. I told him he betrayed me by attacking my character. He said he understood and blocked me.
Afterwards, I was contacted by various friends and strangers asking if I was ok. They felt AC was out of line. I heard from everyone except FF.
FF has developed a reputation. He uses people to get access to premium suppliers, help setting up his store, etc. As a friend, I had helped FF with many things, he used my connections to BC AND AC to get new customers and suppliers. I ignored it, because I considered FF a good friend.
1 day after the drama? Nothing from FF. 2 days? Nothing. 3 days after, I finally asked FF if they saw it. Answer? Yes, and they had nothing to say, because they are friends with everyone. Everyone fucked up. FF is so upset with everyone for doing this!
I told FF I was hurt, they didnt even seem to care about the effect on me, and that at least some support would be great. FF then tells me he plans to write an ENTIRE NEWSLETTER promoting AC.
I told FF and his wife, if they write the newsletter, I am done working with them. We have a company together. It would look like they are condoning the actions of AC. As my business partners, I felt that looked bad. They were angry that I gave an ultimatum, so I told them, they are adults and can do what they want. Since I am also an adult, I can do what I want and end the friendship.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
88qSy9XKwM4EdzCPyq4GG7UlSlxl8iDb
|
a2gt6p
|
{
"description": "thinking my peer should take leave",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for Thinking My Peer Should Take Leave?
|
Hello everyone! I've been dealing with a situation for the last few weeks and I'm wondering if I'm in the wrong here...
I'm in a masters program (second year) and in a team of six members. The course is challenging and we have group assignments every week including one large final project. One team member, a married man with a family, had a sick wife with cancer. She was diagnosed several months ago and was told it was likely terminal (it was kept quiet).
For the first week he was participating in all our group discussions and helping with the homework, but then shared with us what was going on at home. Everyone was supportive and many of the other group members told him "Don't worry about this class! We'll take care of everything". I didn't speak up about that and only offered my condolences. About a week later, she did pass away.
We all offered our support and since then, he has only showed up for class on evenings. I have largely taken on a lot of the work because unfortunately, my remaining team members aren't very accountable. I asked them to submit one of our assignments one day and they forgot. We've been continuing forward like this with me doing most of the work and everyone else telling my classmate that he can just relax and let us handle everything.
AITHA for thinking he should have taken a semester off? Losing a loved one is horribly hard and I get that. But why would you stay in a school program when you don't have the mental capacity to be part of a team and do the work? Take the semester off and heal. I guess I'm mostly irritated because I've had to pick up theirs and his slack while they all proclaim don't worry about it when I'm the one who has been doing everything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
hi3pBNTIc1zXs6IjehNrigR3TH0iUuE8
|
a0dow3
|
{
"description": "getting upset with my boyfriend for dodging a concert we've planned going to, to go on a vacation with his friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting upset with my boyfriend for dodging a concert we’ve planned going to, to go on a vacation with his friends
|
I’ve been a long time fan of Guns N’ Roses. Have been to their concert back in July and it was the most amazing night ever. So when I heard about Slash touring with Myles Kennedy in February I became instantly hyped. Asked my boyfriend to come with me and he replied quite excited. He bought the tickets in September and that was that. After that I would send the new album of Slash, and some random news I would find online. Fast forward to today, he began out of nowhere about going on a vacation with friends (which I’m fine with, honestly) around the end of February. Jokingly I say “You better still be around to see Slash with me!!”. He looks as if he’s just seen a ghost and says he isn’t sure. I can tell he completely forgot about it. Not wanting to ruin the evening I let it be and move on. Till just a few minutes ago he called me up to tell me he will be flying the exact night of the concert. I don’t want to throw a fit so I reply with “Oh well alright. I’ll just go by myself then.”. He asks if I really wanna go that bad and I laugh “Yes, yes of course I want to go that bad.”. I’m sure he didn’t do this to upset me, but I’m pretty upset to be fair. The rest of the call I can’t get as excited about what he’s telling as usually. He suggests taking someone else with me, my sister maybe. Thing is, she, nor any or my friends, are into Slash. Before this there hasn’t been anything that he did that truly upset me. And I love him lots, honestly.
I always get childishly excited for things like this, so when there takes a change of plans place I get pretty upset. Am I the asshole for getting upset with him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
yfzMbc4ZXfbSmjzhXECDqIs2Tavf6446
|
9up62x
|
{
"description": "getting annoyed over processions for public safety people who die",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting annoyed over processions for public safety people who die...
|
Off duty? I had two recent ones in my city. First a cop died at home of a heart attack and a fire fighter was hit by a vehicle while cycling. Both got freeway processions of public safety vehicles and fire trucks parked on overpasses.
I am sorry for their loss but this wasn’t in the line of duty. Line of duty death I have no complaints, I am out there waving the flag.
Who pays for this procession? Who is covering their duty while they escort the body to the morgue?So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
LeScdWEEcRlVKhivhJgQmHorWeI3WKw3
|
aryqt6
|
{
"description": "expecting my best friend to not hang out with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for expecting my best friend to not hang out with my ex?
|
Me and my ex had a nasty breakup, with some stuff that was hard for me to decide if it was my fault or not. I told my best friend about this, and he would assure me that my ex is an asshole and I'm too good for him. However, he continues to hang out with my ex. I havent asked him to not hang out with him, nor am I going to, but am I the asshole for expecting him to cut ties? If he continues to have a friendship does that mean that he doesnt truly believe that my ex was a bad person to me, and that he lied to me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
0uEWsXvOUPSt4E5tNBmEh89XiBBfjRCs
|
asjzwi
|
{
"description": "asking my host mom not to be loud at 5 am",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For Asking My Host Mom Not To Be Loud At 5 AM?
|
For context; I've been living with a host family for 6 months now, while going to school abroad. Our relationship is pretty good, esp. between me and my host mom.
So, my host mom has started using the coffee machine early in the morning (around 5-5:30 am), multiple times over a period of around 20 minutes. I figured, if she just wanted coffee, she'd just run it once, so I thought she was cleaning it or smth.
The problem is, that the coffee machine is really loud and has been waking me up a good 2 hours before I'd normally get up for the last few weeks.
Today in the car, I asked her politely, if she could use the coffe machine a little later and explained why. Didn't think it'd be biggie, cause we have a good relationship.
She then got pretty annoyed, explaining to me in a quite sassy way (calling me "honey ", and not in a nice way) that she goes to the gym at 5:30 and needs the coffee. Because I didn't know that, I told her it's fine and she doesn't have to do anything about it. (I personally still think, there's ways to work around that, but I'll manage).
Later on, she started acting quite reserved towards me, but I didn't notice it back then. In the evening, I told her she didn't have to prepare dinner for me, cause I was gonna eat the left-over pasta from yesterday. We'd obviously still eat together as we do everyday.
She then looked me straight in the eye, asking "Why?". I told her, I was just feeling like pasta and it was left-over anyway.
What really made me think she was pissed of is the following:
A few hours later, my host mom then took my host sister (also a foreign student, not her daughter) out for dinner, like eating out. She didn't tell me about it and didn't ask me, if I wanted to come. My host sister has been living here for as long as me. That's quite rude, or not?
I might just be really ignorant and am gonna talk to her anyway. But Reddit,
AITA?
(For more context; this is located in North America, my host mom is of European heritage, so I don't think it's food-culture related)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
w1HUqgVsIbKOdNXPrc1f1b4xpqG9f30I
|
b3zsq0
|
{
"description": "telling my brother to hide that he's gay",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for telling my brother to hide that he's gay?
|
So I know right off the bat this sounds bad, but hear me out here.
My older brother, let's call him Thomas, is planning to run for the House as a Republican. He's also gay. He's semi-open, basically he doesn't hide it from closer friends and family, but the average person he kinda knows doesn't know.
I've heard through the grapevine that he's considering me in a key role for the campaign, maybe as manager. This is because I'm a doctoral student in psychology, and specifically I'm researching how people get their political views, how they decide who to vote for, how they justify changing parties without feeling like an idiot, etc. This is extremely convenient and useful for Thomas, since he's trying to get elected.
Anyway, he's been hitting me up for advice and all that. Since he's running as a Republican, in a pretty conservative, very Baptist area, my first question was how open he was going to be with being gay. He replied he was going to be open with it and bring it up, saying he was hoping it could get some swing voters. I think this is a terrible idea, for a few reasons:
1. You're not going to get swing voters just for being gay if, like Thomas, you're also Baptist, pro-guns, anti-regulation, and anti-drugs. So the whole idea of being gay getting swing voters is stupid.
2. It isolates his core bloc, which is again, Conservative Baptists. Thomas believes that they won't care if he's gay if he shares their views. I know this is *false*. Conservatives can and will basically flip their views on him the moment they find he's gay, and no matter what he says, they'll tune him out with 'gay, gay, gay, sin, sin, sin'.
So, I asked if he wanted my honest advice. He said sure. I asked him, are you intent on running as a conservative Baptist rather than a Moderate? Because as a gay moderate, he *may* have a chance. He affirmed he did want to run as a conservative Baptist. I told him then, honestly, don't be open about being gay. Hide it, if you really want to win.
He got offended at this. I can see where he's coming from. But 1) he said he wanted my honest opinion and 2) in the long run, I think giving him a fighting chance will make up for offending him now.
So, aita?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
pObYD1n8ubz6HJTcmtEJ81dzgu59rcaf
|
axsosr
|
{
"description": "not getting my friend a Brithday Present",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Not Getting My Friend a Brithday Present?
|
So, some friends and I have gone on holiday to celebrate a friend's significant birthday.
I live away these days so I haven't really been around for the organisation/discussions about the holiday or celebrations and so I didn't realise that as midnight hit on the eve of the birthday, the others appeared with presents for said birthday friend, but I didn't.
I apologised and said "I'm sorry I didn't realise we were doing presents" which got a response from of "We'll obviously! It's their birthday!" from the s/o with nobody disagreeing.
This is the first one of these we've done together, they're the first one to reach a significant milestone since we've become friends, and as I said above, I wasn't around for any planning since I now live away.
Now, none of us are particularly well off, all quite young, either not long out of uni, and/or not in a reasonably paid job, and so I assumed each of us spending upwards of £200 on the holiday was enough of a gift.
I'm genuinely curious, AITA here for not buying a present? Was it rude of them to respond in such a way? Or even, am I looking too much into the comment?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
rJBJiTBfzg0TvuySgSShyTPXVIJpTwdg
|
aszzr8
|
{
"description": "telling my brother what people were saying about him",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my brother what people were saying about him?
|
Okay that was a vague title. Here's the obligatory I'm on mobile/throwaway account/first post here/fake names/TL;DR at the bottom yada yada.
Some context: my brother is a few years above me. He has a girlfriend who is homeschooled, but her younger sister goes to the same high school as my brother. I as an 8th grader did marching band at the high school. Because of this I now have some friends who are in the grades above me.
So I was at a sports game today.
This one person in my brother Jack's friend group was at the game and since I know him from band, we were talking a bit. He mentioned how Jack always complains about having a girlfriend and and wishes he was single. He also said some other things, but I don't think they were very important for the story. After talking to him for a bit I went back to my other friend.
After the game I mentioned it to my mom, who said that it would be a good idea to warn Jack that people were saying that in case it got around to Sarah (Jack's girlfriend's sister) because she would definitely tell Jack's girlfriend Sophie.
Conversation when getting home:
Me: Hey Jack can I talk to you?
Jack: yeah sure, is something wrong?
Me: So I'm not going to say who, but someone mentioned how you said you wish you didn't have a girlfriend and-
Jack: what? No-
Me: hold on let me finish. I never said it was true. I'm just letting you know people said that because it would be pretty bad if it got back to Sarah because she would tell Sophie.
Jack: *starts talking about how the closest he said was just that he didn't deserve Sophie and how he would never said that (he's said it to me before when frustrated)*
Me: Okay, but I thought you would want to know
We kept going back and forth for a bit. He said that it was weird having me involved in his life like that, I pointed out he was the one who asks me to rate his looks on a scale of 1-10. He ended with I was giving unsolicited advice, so that's when I decided to stop. I felt like I was just telling him what people thought so he'd be prepared if it got around to Sarah (if someone told me that the person I was hypothetically dating wished they were single I'd be hurt), but he was pissed that I was getting involved and giving unsolicited advice. So Reddit, AITA?
tl;dr I told my brother someone was saying that he complains about his girlfriend in case word got spread around, he got pissed because I was giving unsolicited advice and getting in his business.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QvNhIydLOUaKWoAjXzFz7fYoJgH8GgjA
|
azk5wk
|
{
"description": "destroying my best friend's relationship",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for destroying my best friend's relationship ?
|
This is my first post ever so please forgive me if I've made any errors in formatting.
There are 4 people involved in this story (fake names for privacy obviously)
Me
Harry (My best friend)
Abigail (Harry's girlfriend)
Austin (the person Abigail hooks up with)
This happened around 9-10 months ago, at this point everything was going well their relationship was going on well (had a few bumps just like other relationships) but around a month before shit hits the ceiling Harry was always suspicious of Austin and even though Abigail knew about this she used to joke with Harry about if they had a fight she would go to Austin for comfort and all that. Oh and I had Abigail's Instagram account cuz she followed like 20-30 meme pages and I cba to follow those many so she happily gave me her account.
Now one random day I was scrolling through those pages and getting my daily dose of memes like any other day but on this day I saw a text notification that caught my eye, normally I ignore those and concentrate on my memes but this one was quite confusing. It was a text from Austin saying " I don't wanna talk to you rn, no I'm not leaving you I just don't wanna talk right now". Now those confused the hell out of me considering she was dating my best friend and from what I knew they were still together. (This is a very gray area as in the aftermath of this whole situation Abigail was saying they were on a break while Harry was saying they weren't very Ross Rachel like) I take a screenshot of those texts just in case and move on. I thought maybe I misunderstood the situation or something but then the following chat they had confirmed my suspicions
Austin: It felt amazing so calm down
Abigail:Thanksss, sometimes just to piss Harry off I used to rub his dick under the table in tuitions like how I rubbed you yesterday
Now when I read that I was like what the actual fuck so I ended up waiting for more evidence and got it then took screenshots and sent it to Harry which resulted in so much shit which still goes today.
Ever since I've always wondered whether I did the right thing or not cuz this whole situation definitely fucked up Harry's head.
If there's any confusion I'll try my best to clear it up in the comments
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
U9g984sW9D7LFYOq6BuRZoTiGoqH8PkV
|
abghjg
|
{
"description": "disliking my mom because of her current lover",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for disliking my mom because of her current lover
|
My father has not been around for a while and it was just me and my mother. Up comes her current lover, which I will call David now.
At first I thought he was nice. He brought me and my mother to events I would never have gone to anyways. He bought me and my mother a couple of stuff. Im pretty sure he got me my Xbox 360 and a few games, and always got my mom some jewelry or clothing. I thought nothing of this since I was in middle school.
Fast forward to high school. I notice that some things are a bit off. Simple tasks, like ordering stuff online and buying drinks and food, he tells my mom to do. While shes busy with other stuff. It escalates to her helping him with his so called job. And I say so called cause I still dont know what it is. Buying envelopes, making phone calls, and helping with the money.
He regularly uses drugs at this point, everyday. Stinks up the house. Every simple task he never does and orders my mom to do it for him. I think he uses her to be more and more lazy. Every time he brings his kids from his ex-wifes house, me and my mom HAVE to take care of them. He leaves the house in a mess. Full sink. Doesnt take trash out or the recycling. I dont know what bills he pays for even. Argues with her, and even yelling at her if she doesnt do what he asks for.
I start to hate him more and more. Right now, he has been kicked out the house 3 times. 3 fucking times. Last time he came back, my mother said she brought him back to "kill him with kindness."
She keeps bringing him back, defending his actions. Even after I offer her help. At this point Im fed up with my moms actions and still do. I see no point in being in the household and with her, him.
I feel bad though, because my mothers issue is she doesnt want to be left alone. My girlfriend lives in Brazil, and shes scared of me moving there. Even for college, she wanted me to stay in the city because she wouldnt see me as often. But at this point I dont even want to be in the same city as her, and I dont know if he was actually kicked out would help that.
Am I the asshole here for disliking her now?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
NK5MXCkkwjoKLl6D3Xfh5XNUtawviIr5
|
ary4js
|
{
"description": "inconveniencing my friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for inconveniencing my friends?
|
This all reads as rather petty, but the feelings behind it are quite real.
I was friends with somebody who I hadn't spoken to for a while because we fell out. I had feelings for them and they lead me on repeatedly, we argued a lot about everything, and then eventually I cut things off.
Recently, I've had a lot of work to do and I like to spend my time destressing by playing video games. My friends invited me to play CS: GO with them so that was a plus. It's the only occasion I really get to spend time with them anymore because I'm so busy now. It was great until they also invited this old friend of mine to play with us. I tried to just suck it up and deal with it for a short while but eventually found myself very uncomfortable being in their presence again. It's been causing me stress when all I've wanted is a break, so I decided I'd just not play when he is because it's a better alternative to isolating myself from them all completely over something like that.
It backfired a fair bit because he's a very frequent player and so I have very frequently chosen to sit out of games. This is causing a few issues for all of us.
Me:
1) I've spoken to them about how I'm uncomfortable with how things are at the moment and why I'm not getting involved. They'll just tell me to get over it.
2) I'm starting to feel very lonely because the time I wanted to spend playing games with my friends has become more stressful than it ought to be so I'm choosing not to engage. I'm starting to think it's time to go out and make some new friends, but I'm a little overworked right now and the effort of that seems very daunting.
My friends:
1) My friends want a constant five-man team, so they've been really pissy with me lately over my decision to not play when this person is around.
My old friend:
1) I've tried to talk to them about it to sort out past tensions, but they have blatantly refused and won't allow me to.
I've explained the whole thing to all of them and from each possible perspective and I'm not really sure if there's something I'm missing here. AITA here?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tJYJ5UD9AcQt1dMGU6tyNJ2OLoCUrYL1
|
b5p19l
|
{
"description": "starting an arguement with a girl and her mom because I was defending my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for starting an arguement with a girl and her mom because I was defending my friend?
|
So we were making a project and this girl wanted to make a handle and my friend wanted to help so I let them be,When they were making the handle I noticed the girl playing with the cutter and then a few minutes later I see my friend's finger bleed so I asked what happened and he said that the girl accidentally cut her and the girl was telling me that she didn't while 2 of my friends swore that they saw her did it.
Then I said okay forget this happened lets just move on then we forgot about it for a little bit and the girl messaged me 2 weeks after it happened and told me that I was judgemental and rude for assuming she cut my friend and I told her that my friend told me you did and she said that my friend told his mom that he cut himself by accident and I was confused so I asked my friend why he told his mom that and I found out that his mom was super strict so if she finds out that someone cut her she would rush to the girl.
At this part my friend was just protecting the girl and the girl is still blaming my friend for cutting himself then me and the girl got on a arguement which made her mom think im the bad guy for protecting my friend and lying about what happened so I told her mom that it was the truth and she told me to not start it again and I told her that she started it and she said I was lying again so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
pf2QIfu8vrM4OugSw6v1mJNTd68wdfgT
|
awgzhr
|
{
"description": "not attending my friend's debut",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not attending my friend's debut?
|
She already placed me on a list where they call people up to give gifts ad stuff without eve asking beforehand if I'll be able to attend. I feel like a real asshole right now because 18th birthdays only happen once in a lifetime ad I wasn't there to celebrate with her when she was expecting me because I needed to attend a birthday for my uncle who was released out of prison. On the other had, I do feel a bit angry that she listed me before asking. Now everyone has cards with my name on them, ad whoever is attending will expect me to join as well. I feel some conflict. She didn't even tell me the address, she just told me that I'm invited and my name is on the card and I need to give her a gift. She seemed really disappointed days ago when I told her that i could't attend. Stopped talking to me. Didn't even look at me. Tried texting my other friends who were invited but didn't respond. Too busy partying. I have a feeling that people will think of me as a shitty friend and that I'm no good. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
cEF2LW87TX3IsPbOaZHYgZLVI1S53HIJ
|
9y9p0k
|
{
"description": "asking an apology",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking an apology?
|
Excuse my language, I'm not native speaker.
So, I'm student and live in appartment with my parents. They go to their country house most weekends, so i planned meeting with my friends on saturday at my house and on friday asked them both if they are going to country house and if i could throw a little party.(I feel really awkward about my friends meeting my parents, so trying to avoid that if possible) They said they were going but I assumed they would go the same time as always around 12-13 in a day, so didn't ask about time. So saturday comes and I wake up around 8 in the morning and see my mom, at this moment I decide to ask her when exactly are they gonna leave, cause my friends and I wanted to meet at 12. (I suspect that's where the biggest miscommunication happened) So she starts freaking saying I shouldn't make her leave her house (which I actually wasn't trying to do) and then she says "Your father will still be at work at 12, I was going to stay home until 18.00" and I start to feel like an asshole for not asking them at friday when exactly are they gonna leave, so i ask her if I should cancel my plans (because I know 18.00 would be a bit too late for my friends), to which she says no couple times, but i think it through and come to conclusion, that I have no right to make her leave her house, so I cancel my party anyway. She says I shouldn't have but I explain her that I'm not a monster and wouldn't do that to her. Here I thought is a happy end, I feel like I handled a situation pretty good and wasn't an asshole in any way.
But. When time comes, I find out she simply lied to me about 18.00, they left house around 13, while I was napping. I found out about that and thought this situation through again and was furios (still am) when I confronted her about that (I wanted a simple sorry) she started lying again, saying she didn't say about 18.00 which made me nuts and I just said I don't wanna talk about it anymore and went to my room, where out of pure frustration said "what a bitch" (it wasn't even loud or anything) and she ran into room trying to bend situation like it's my fault. I was having none of it. My father came home and stopped the fight but i still don't want to talk to her until she apologises. Am I asking too much, am I wrong in some way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ViRcOHtFUsL5X9jdfH1cJtmEG4NfiPjs
|
a45h88
|
{
"description": "hating my grandmom after she died",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for hating my grandmom after she died?
|
Ok so,
I lived with my grandmother and my uncle till I was 9,my life was pretty basic and normal.
But after I moved in with my family,let's just say they weren't the best (abusive mentally and physically)
The only ppl that cared about me (irl) were my uncle and grandmother but to them I was turning into a dispointment (failing in school not doing anything productive due to my siblings/parents just demotivating me) but they still supported me.
Few months ago she died and the night before she died of breast cancer(ithink) I had an argument with my mom I got pretty beat up so I sweared at her. The last time I talked to her was like that.
Now my mom/uncle blames me for her death and my life just gotten worst.(the worst part is I hate myself because I couldn't cry on her funeral)
Sorry for bad English it isn't my first.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
EW4gaPbBw1VreTCtCCfzl0phUv4nTWSj
|
aerirg
|
{
"description": "asking my roommate to smoke away from the house",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking my roommate to smoke away from the house?
|
My buddy and I moved into a new apartment in November, and there is an extra room. We moved in a girl who is-for all rhyme and reason-a decent person despite her splitting hairs with me on certain issues (timing of rent payments, New year's celebrations, a homeless friend she had stay over for a few days..) we aren't great friends but she pays rent and helps out around the house so I can't take any ostensible issue with her. The thing is, these minor instances have kind of set things off with her and I at odds with each other. She smokes menthols like several times every day usually two at a time. It's not much of an issue but she comes back in and smells like it.. she is constantly smelling her hands and she is generally gross about it. I know it seems like it shouldn't be an issue, but it sets me off. I sneeze and cough even when I can hardly smell it.. so I have asked her to smoke away from the house so the entryway doesn't smell like it. I want her to wash her hands when she comes in too because the smell is really very obtrusive. I hate menthols and I quit smoking awhile back.
When I approached her to lay down some boundaries about bringing smoke in with her, she got miffed and began snarking off about how she's a grown woman and she can do what she wants. This is a terribly trivial thing, but it's my opinion that if I want her to not bring the smoke around me, she oughta respect it. I want things to be culpable between us but she doesn't seem to respect her own health or my boundaries and that really gets my goat.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
vJ8RTL2TgwsTl7EogDdYc5RnTURBUgci
|
b8r0tt
|
{
"description": "wondering if I'm settling for my current partner",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Wondering if I’m Settling for my Current Partner
|
I really believe I love my current partner but I’m also wondering if it’s more of a platonic love. This is the second longest and realest relationship I would say I’ve ever had but the first of which has been with a woman. I once dated a girl in college for three months but we were horrible to each other. The one year relationship I had with a boy was also chaotic. This relationship has lasted five months and we’ve both learned wonderful things about ourselves and each other but I’m also not sure if this person is my life partner or not. I quit smoking weed almost a year ago and recently relapsed, one thing that really bothers me is this person often being stereotyped as a “stoner” and knowing they indulge on occasion when I in fact cannot indulge without becoming addicted - obviously my own insecurity that needs to be overcome. My partners goals encourage me but sometimes I also wonder if they work hard enough in other aspects of their life that I care about. I often get annoyed by little things like waking up early and making schedules. I also feel that I hate breaking up and tend to get really overattached and codependent during the breaking up phase and now that I’m thinking about ending it I also don’t want to end it more than ever. I would appreciate thoughts and experience because I wonder if I’ve always been TA or if I’m just going through what everybody goes through.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
RorCVa55KPcdnOv2LlolOOU2pP7ctqlY
|
b2en92
|
{
"description": "telling my classmate to shut up",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my classmate to shut up
|
This happened 5 years ago so this is more so “was I the asshole?” I was a sophomore in high school and taking a remedial science class. There was a small group of ghetto girls (before you accuse me of being racist or assume these people I’m mentioning are of a certain race. I’m not saying whether these people are white, black, Hispanic, Asian or fucking martians. They just had a loud ghetto attitude).
Anyways I suck at science. I had a D in the class and was trying to pass to avoid summer school. I have learning disabilities and these loud girls talking in the middle of instruction was no help at all. They would constantly be talking (more like yelling) throughout class and we constantly fell behind because of it. I missed a lot of information.
One day I got fed up so I turned around and asked one of them “would it kill you to shut the hell up for just 5 minutes?”
She looks at me like I just spat on her kid (no I don’t think she had a kid) and yelled “BITCH YOU DO NOT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT” as if she was royalty. We argued back and forth a little bit and after I “talked back” to her the third time, she got up and angrily left the classroom. As soon as she walked up random classmates started yelling “what the hell is your problem?” “You didn’t have to do that”, “was that really necessary dude?” It felt like bullshit.
The 2 para educators had to take turns calming her down outside for 20 minutes. She came back inside later and just sat quietly in the back of the room giving me dirty looks. The teacher pulled me aside the next day and told me while he didn’t blame me, I could have handled the situation better. I felt like I handled it better than he did all semester.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
CBRGkX6YMmXPQZE9u6dzQEHzPFsK07kk
|
arp9tp
|
{
"description": "wanting to tell a guy to move out or call the police knowing that he will end up on the streets",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to tell a guy to move out or call the police knowing that he will end up on the streets?
|
Recently my parents asked me to take care of the "family business" - we have 8 rooms to rent and basically all our money comes through it. Some of the people living there aren't paying rent and they want me to handle the situation as they say I'm more rational and cold when dealing with people.
The situation that is annoying me is this one: they talked to me about a certain guy living there who is not paying rent FOR HALF A YEAR. His historic is: nice guy who was living there for two years, paying rent correctly, never getting into trouble, then suddenly loses his job, stop paying rent, neighbors start complaining about him being drunk everyday. The guy is depressed and suffers from alcoholism, apparently. My father told him to move out multiple times but he's refusing to go because he's unemployed and will end up on the streets. My father considered calling the police but he says that he will feel guilty if the guy ends up homeless because he's sick and he was a good guy before unfortunately getting fired.
We have some money on the bank and that's why my father wasn't that bothered with not getting paid, but now we are spending a lot of that money and there's a risk that we will not be able to pay the degree I will be starting this year, also both him and my mom started having some health issues. Money is going fast and our rooms aren't shelters, we need the money that comes through them and that's why my father wants me to deal with the situation because he doesn't have the guts to tell people to move out or call the police. Well, I can easily go through the situation with two of the three people who aren't paying because I know they have family in town and that they can live with them, but the third guy is the one that I mentioned before and he has no family in here because he came to work, almost guaranteed that he will be homeless. This is breaking my heart and I'm felling so guilty for it, but I'm almost sure that I will give him 15 days to move out and if he stays there I will call the police. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fimJ0wswzsZ9iREYXfIsGlYjXq49wYca
|
b2te13
|
{
"description": "finishing a friendship because this person ghosted me and then 'took' my job",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for finishing a friendship because this person ghosted me and then 'took' my job?
|
Hello, I read the rules and I think I'm ready to tell you my history and I hope you can give me your opinion about it.
I have a friend, let's say she's called Jane, I met like ten years ago. We have supported each other through different complicated situations, like financial problems, a kind of abusive husband (hers), problems in the school with my children, etc. I helped her to get another job when she had financial problems too, recommending her to the company where I was working at the time.
Then, I began to have problems with that company because I was freelancing for them and, even if we settled that I will do a number and kind of tasks and they will paid me a monthly salary in our spoken agreement (a big mistake, I should have insisted on a written agreement, but that's other story), they kept asking me to do more and more and more. I refused a few times, I say yes to others, the work relationship was kind of tense. I spoke to this friend, who agreed they were abusive, and they were also asking her to do more and more, and proposed her that we started our own company (a website to offer certain product) and asked her if she wanted to participate. She said yes.
The first time I asked her to give me her opinion to buy the domain for the website (I wanted to know what she thought about some names I believed were good for the site) she said she didn't have time and acted annoyed, as if I was asking her to do a lot of work or something. I wanted her opinion only, but well. She ghosted me from then on, not talking to me in any way, no phone, messages, WhatsApp or any other means we used before. I could swear I wasn't rude or anything, but anyway, if I was, she always said she would be honest with me. But that didn't happen.
Well, the company I was working for decided to end the work relationship because I refused to do another big and complicated task for free. I wasn't surprised and anyway I was about to leave them because I wasn't happy. Well, that was expected, but what I didn't expect was to know, by accident (I saw a post in Facebook mentioning this ex friend) that she was going to take my job. She didn't tell me anything about it. The only thing that I believe was aimed at me was a post saying that some friends are better than others and that it's great you can disagree with some people, but so sad you can't with others and then, nothing. Obviously, she blocked me from seeing her timeline. I considered I was losing my time with someone who wasn't honest, who had ghosted me for six months without any explanation about it, who didn't talk to me after she ended with the job I did before, a job that she was able to have because I recommended her and that, even if it wasn't her fault the job relationship ended, it would have been a kindness to me to tell me what was going to happen, since I was her friend, so I unfriended her everywhere. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NBoBwucD1um9kjsvVn7hOvavNq87jGlV
|
b0hchx
|
{
"description": "not asking the girl that asked me to the spring (turnabout) dance to prom",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I don’t ask the girl that asked me to the spring (turnabout) dance to prom?
|
Recently, a friend group of mine that was brought together after we auditioned for a lip sync battle of sorts for our senior year decided that we should all go to the spring dance together. A girl in the group asked me to the dance, and I said yes. A week later, a girl from work that I had been talking to asked me to her schools prom (she goes to different school) and I also said yes. I have been talking a lot more to the girl from work, and I asked her to my prom. However, I have heard that most people go to prom with the person that asked them to spring. As a result, I have offered to pay for both my ticket to the spring dance and for my meal, as I will not be able to ask the girl from my school to prom. (She does not know) She doesn’t want to let me pay for my ticket, even though I’ve offered to. Am I the asshole if I don’t go to prom with the girl from my school?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.