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{
"description": "ignoring and/or snapping at my mom when she talks to me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ignoring and/or snapping at my mom when she talks to me?
|
For about a year now I've been acting very rude to my mom. I've been ignoring her when she talks, getting an attitude with her, and raising my voice in an annoyed manner. It doesn't matter whether or not she comes to me already angry, or in a calm way. Now that we got that out of the way, onto the main situation.
I hesitate to say my mom is abusive, as I know that her culture and the way she grew up was very different from mine, but she goes out of her way to insult me and make me feel bad. When I was young (4-14ish), she was very physical in her punishments with me. (Not spanking, but throwing me onto the floor, into walls, against things that would make me trip, etc). After i fell she would make fun of me or scream at me to get up and that if i did *insert task* that she wouldn't have to do this in the first place. I started to fight back around age 13-14 and since then hasn't put her hands on me much, but has ramped up on the insults and saying that every problems she has is my fault. That being said, she is also sometimes perfectly fine and nice, and says she is proud of me and all i do. She also goes out of her way sometimes to get something i would like (like candy, food/snacks, or art supplies).
As I've said before, I've now started to simply ignore her or get snappy with her whenever she tries to talk to me. I will admit that lately she has been nicer to me and comes to me more calmly, but she still has bouts of verbally berating me. I can see that she loves me with the things she does for me, and i often feel bad for being annoyed with her, but in my mind i can't help but think it's justified. So tell me, am I the a-hole?
PS: she also yells at (and sometimes hits) my dad. I'm not sure how relevant it is to you guys, but i felt that i should mention it.
PPS: this is my first post and I'm not sure if me mentioning my past punishments counts as me breaking rule 5 (no violence). Hopefully it doesn't
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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{
"description": "moving to California",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Moving to California?
|
My mom wants to move to California with me and my siblings because her boyfriend lives there. I am cool with it because she said that I can still fly down to the state that I am currently living in so I can see my dad and friends. I am not that close to my dad and he tends to leave me out of his life on some situations and the girl he is dating has three kids so it would be 6.5 all together (sister dosen't come around that often) and I don't get along with any of them. Being 14, this has caused me a lot of stress and he keeps bringing it up when I don't want to talk about it. He eventually said one day in court that he gave up trying to keep me in Ohio and is focusing on keeping my two little siblings.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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{
"description": "disliking my brother's girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for disliking my brother's girlfriend?
|
I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, English isn't my first language.
My brother (24) got a girlfriend (28) a few months ago. He has a habit of choosing girls that are gold diggers. We are definitely not rich, but are a tad bit better off than most people here because my parents work their asses off abroad.
She started out coming over to our house for a few hours/few times a week to sleeping over at our place for a few days straight. The only words I have ever spoken with her are "hello what's up". She never bothers starting conversation and is simply unfriendly. As much as it annoyed me at first, I got used it.
A month or so ago, she got the habit of showering at our house and there's basically no warm water for me anymore because it's always used. And on top of that she uses our bath robes to dry off which is extremely gross to me. Whatever, I got used to that too.
A few days ago I noticed someone used my hairbrush. There were blonde hairs all over it (I'm a brunette). My biggest pet peeve and disgust is shedded head hair just lying around. I get grossed out of my own, let alone someone else's hair.
She couldn't even bother asking for permission to use it. It just grossed me out, but I didn't say anything out of respect.
I have told my mother multiple times to tell her directly or tell my brother to stop using my things since I feel uncomfortable since as I said we barely know each other. My mother is always taking their side and is telling me that what I'm saying is rude and it compeltely baffles me how she can say that since she has always been a rational woman.
I understand my brother and her love each other very much, but you can't just do those things in someone's house.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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}
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WRONG
|
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avpdg3
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{
"description": "being annoyed at my partner taking cocaine",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being annoyed at my partner taking cocaine
|
Am I the asshole for being mad with my partner for doing cocaine.
​
​
Ok, so I'm kinda torn here because ultimately I know I can't tell someone how to live their life. I'm 31, my partner is 27. We've been together for about half a year but have history prior to that when we were younger. We're both no stranger to the party drugs scene but I left that behind a few years ago because I saw it destroy some of my friends it was starting to take its toll on me so I left it in the past.
​
When my partner moved back to the country she had mentioned that she'd still go out and do cocaine with her friends. I'm at the stage where I'm asking myself "do you want someone with these habits to potentially be the mother of your children". I told her I was uncomfortable with it very early on in the relationship and she told me that it wasn't a big deal to her and she would stop.
​
Since then there's been times where we've been out with her friends who I know have been dosing and I suspected she was on it too but I never said anything because I chalked it up to me lacking trust trust and I didn't want to be "that guy". Last night she went out with her friends, the one thing we always do in these situations is let the other know via text when we're home safe and sound, I never got this text which was unlike her I was a bit worried but her battery could have died, lost phone etc, nothing to panic about. I called her this morning and she sounded terrible, she was really hung over and mentioned that she had been taking cocaine till 4am. On one hand she did tell me herself but on the other I now feel like I can't take her at her word. If I kick up a fuss and she says she will stop (again) this will probably just encourage her to hide it better or lie.
​
The other issue is her mother has just been diagnosed with cancer and starts treatment soon, she asked if I was mad and I said "I'm torn, I really care about you but I don't want to be with someone who's doing that, I feel like I can't take you at your word now" and she's brought that up and is painting me out as being unreasonable. Maybe I am.
​
​
Am I overreacting here? I'm I being an asshole and making a mountain out of a molehill?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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{
"description": "leaving my friend to finish work",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my friend to finish work?
|
Obligatory lurker, on mobile, the whole shabang.
So before you make any rash comments you'll need some context because I'm not doing the, "I'm partners with someone and they do everything while I sit back and play Tetris or something"
So I'm attending a trade school, and what I do say to day is go to my normal school and about halfway through 4th period I (and all the other kids who attend) go to eat lunch earlier than everyone else so we can catch the bus and go to the other school.
So my 4th period class is health. Luckily my only friend at that school also has that class with me so we do a lot of assignments and tests together since a majority of them require a partner (doing things like CPR training, what to do if someone is choking, etc.) And usually the teacher gives us notes and some crossword or something and tell us to do them with a partner, so naturally my friend and I partner up and get working. When the time comes for me to leave I get up and go and she continues to work on the assignment without me.
Lately though she's been doing things like asking me to miss lunch to finish these assignments. I have done it one time when it was something super important and the project was worth a lot of points, but I dont really feel like its a big deal with something like a crossword puzzle. I help the best I can when I'm there but I do have to eat.
I'm not really sure if what I'm doing is terrible, and if it is I'll try to fix it the best I can. So reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
arpaf7
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my friends for not letting me hang out with them",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friends for not letting me hang out with them?
|
A bit of background.
So maybe like once a month they all meet at someone's house but when I ask if i could come they always put me down. And then when I ask why they just say for certain reasons.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
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|
a77m24
|
{
"description": "not letting a kid in my class use my work",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not letting a kid in my class use my work?
|
I'm a student, and finals are coming up. In office hours, a guy I had never seen saw me looking through the really detailed notes that I had spent hours putting together to help me study for this exam, and he asked if I could share it with him (on google docs). I did in the moment, because I would've felt awkward saying no, but when I was thinking about it while working later, it felt unfair that he was getting all my work without putting in anything of his own, and I unshared him on it. I know he tried to access it later because I saw that he requested permission.
​
It didn't cost me anything to share it with him, but the situation felt weird and unfair. AITA for not letting him see/use my work?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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|
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{
"description": "ignoring my coworker's request to cover her shift and then lying about my availability so I wouldn't have to do so",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ignoring my coworker’s request to cover her shift and then lying about my availability so I wouldn’t have to do so?
|
Basically title. She texted me at 11:30 pm last night asking me to cover her shift which starts at 9:45 this morning. Even though I was available, I didn’t structure my plans around needing to work today and I felt quite pissed that she asked so late, especially because I’d be asleep by then if I was working the next day, but I told myself that if I could wake up early enough to get to work I would do it, so I just didn’t respond to the text. I ended up oversleeping and only woke up at 9:00, which was way too late for me to get ready and then commute to work. At 9:30 I texted her saying I just woke up and couldn’t cover her shift.
Five minutes later she asked me to cover the second half of her shift. While I don’t have plans for the day, I was going to get brunch with my parents. She’d need me to cover her from 1:30 onwards and although I *could* make that work, I don’t want to be that rushed and spend a good chunk of my afternoon just making it to work, as I work in a different city than where I live (it’s only around 30 mins by bus from my house, but from where I’m meeting my parents it’ll be around 1.5 hours if I take the bus). I lied again and told her I had plans for the afternoon and couldn’t do so.
So, Reddit, AITA for not wanting to cover a shift even though I was free to do so?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
b6aesn
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{
"description": "asking my colleague why she does not want to work with me anymore",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my colleague why she does not want to work with me anymore?
|
Alright, so I just got home from work and I got this question to hash out till tomorrow. I work in retail to finance my life as a student. Since I have been working in retail for ages and even before I started my studies I am in a position where I sub for my boss in the evenings and thus am in a position of some responsibility. Now let's discuss my WIBTA situation:
​
A few weeks ago I worked with a much older colleague of mine who is working the registers (I'll call her Ms. Karen), while I am supervising the cash registers of our huge store. She was having a bad day, being at odds with my boss about how her breaks were handled that day, while I was having a great day and was in good spirits. When I am in a supervising position I like to check in with the people at the registers when no customers are around to know if they need stuff etc. sometimes this also ends with some casual conversation. As I was in a good mood and have a somewhat booming voice, I could tell that my casual conversation with some of my other colleagues were doing nothing to improve the mood of Ms. Karen, who has got more disgruntled by the minute. When she finally finished her shift, I was the one who took her to the back to finish up her cash register. When in the back I asked her if I was to blame for even worse mood. Since she didn't offer me an answer, I apologised in case I was.
​
I went on a 2-week vacation and when I came back today I asked my boss if Ms. Karen had complained about me. Ms. Boss answered that Ms. Karen had asked who was supervising one of her shifts and when she got an answer that didn't contain my name, she responded with an annoyed "As long as it's not Mr. u/Erzlump". Back in the day when I started there we actually got along great and she often told me that the place needed more people like me - so this total turn surprised me. Now since my Boss and she do not get along very well (while my boss and I do), my Boss did not pay a lot of attention to her response - but the reaction could, of course, have been a lot different.
​
Now the WIBTA Part: Tomorrow her shift will just be ending as mine begins, giving me a good chance of meeting her in the back. It really irks me that I asked her if she had a problem with me, yet received no answer, only to then find out that she now openly displays her resentment towards me in front of my Boss to the point where she says she prefers not to work with me at all. The thing is that if I asked here "Hey, Ms. Karen, why do you not want to work with me anymore" there could be other people present and she could that it as if I am trying to embarrass her. However, maybe she just said it as a joke and I want to give her a chance to tell me directly what's her problem. As our store (and relationship) are set up, I will have no real chance of talking about this to her with just the both of us.
​
So - WIBTA if I asked my colleague why she does not want to work with me anymore?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
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|
b4ybkh
|
{
"description": "getting upset of my FIL advice",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For getting upset of my FIL advice?
|
Alt account btw. So I’m a stay at home dad to two wonderful but extremely hyper and demanding kids and it stressful as crap but it’s what I signed up for. Now I haven’t been able to visit my mother in 3 years because she lives in a different state and my in laws live 30 minutes from where we live so we see them like 7 times a month. They treat me well but I still don’t feel like I can be myself around them or like I belong there, so I can never relax. Also my wife works extremely hard and I recognize that so I let her rest as much as possible while I tackle the kids.
So after 3 years of not seeing my mother due to never having a baby sitter or able to afford plane tickets for a family of 4 I decided that I’m gonna go visit her. So we ran into some
Issue planning the road trip (MD to FL) my wife would have to use ALL of her sick/vacation days until she accumulated more of them and I’m 100% not ok with that so I mentioned that I’ll just go by myself but I need help with kids while I’m away. So I bring all this to my FIL and his response to my wife using all of her sick/vacation hours so soon was “it’s not an issue until it’s an issue” also he said that “trips like that should always be a family trip” we do have family vacations every year to the beach so it’s not like we never travel as a family.
I’m all for proper planning so not worrying about something until it becomes an issue is a big red flag for me but my wife said she can just borrowing against her time and I’m not ok with because what if there is an actual emergency? Both her parents have health issues, and whenever she gets sick it hits her hard. She says that it’s fine advice to give but it just doesn’t sit right with me. So maybe an outside perspective can help me out here.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
b27fht
|
{
"description": "bringing my dogs to a restaurant",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for bringing my dogs to a restaurant?
|
So, this just happened, so strap right in for the wild ride. My mom called this restaurant beforehand asking if we were allowed to bring our dogs and the phone conversation went like this: M=Mom E=Employee
M: Hi, are we allowed to bring our dogs to sit on the patio?
E: Yes, a little bit
M: What does a little bit mean?
E: Yes, a little bit
M: What does a little bit mean? Can we bring our dogs?
E: Yes, a little bit
M: Can we or can we not bring our dogs?
E:Yes
*hangs up*
So we leash up our dogs, two tiny dogs less than 15 pounds each, and walk over since it isn’t too far of a walking distance from our apartment.
We get there, ask for a table for three and a quarter (the quarter being the dogs and my dad making a joke.) E is confused at their dog policy now, enter RB for Russian Bitch.
RB: Do you have service dog verification?
M: No, nobody told us that. I just talked to E on the phone and she said that we can bring our dogs for patio seating.
RB: We need service dog verification.
M: Let me pull it up on my phone
My mom pulls out her phone and moves out of their way so that they can continue serving other people as we’re looking of unnecessary papers. After a while of searching on my mom’s mess of a phone, my dad asks:
D: Bottom line, are you going to serve us?
RB: No.
D: Okay, fuck you *walks out*
RB: Get out of *MY* restaurant and never come back! Proceeds to scoot my mom out after my dad already left
M: How dare you, you bitch!
RB: Fuck You Bitch!
*slams slow door in our face*
Are we the assholes for doing our due diligence and calling ahead? More in comments cause I’m tired of typing a post.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
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|
b0mia0
|
{
"description": "not wanting to leave my mom",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA not wanting to leave my mom?
|
This might get a bit long but I’ll throw in a TLDR at the bottom, on mobile, yadda yadda yadda.
Backstory: A little over a year ago my mom had a baby. I just turned 20 and it kinda fucked my plans up. My mom and I use to be really close (we still are, just not as much.) until she met her bf and got pregnant. We ended up moving over to where her bf use to live (they work in construction so they needed a home base) and where his (now 11 or 12years old) boy is. We had plans to hit a good job, save money, and settle down in a few years. We have been here almost 2 years now. She talks about moving but again, it’s been almost 2 years. She also is getting fed up with her bf because they’re not really compatible (they were together for about 3-4 months max before she found out she was pregnant.)
Before all of this, i met my boyfriend while we were both in high school. We dated online for years until we finally met one another last year. Needless to say it was worth the wait and is the most amazing man in the world. My mom likes him and was going to let us stay with her for as long as we want (I wanted forever cause were really close and enjoy being around one another.). The offer still stands (maybe not forever but he can move in with us if he really wants to) but now that the bay is in the picture, he wants nothing to do with coming over here. Even visiting would be enough to annoy him to no end. My boyfriend borderline hates the thing because it’s loud, annoying, and takes up all my time since I babysit all day. (5 am-5:30/6pm)
Because my mom wants to move out and stuff(and because I’m in the middle of nowhere with no babysitters and the only daycare is $200 a week from 8am-4pm I think) I want to help her out. I don’t want her to struggle cause I love her and she’s always helped me out. She didnt even really want another child but her boyfriend convinced her, even saying “if you don’t wanna him, I’ll take him!” ... Let’s just say if anything happens to my mom, she wants me to raise the baby.
My boyfriend says it’s not my problem or responsibility, that she’s a grown woman that can take care of herself. He wants me to move up where he lives and be together. I want the same but I don’t wanna abandon my mom. He says I’ll be there forever, which would probably be true if he broke up with me. I told him I wanna stay for another year or 2 max to help her, but he’s sick of us not being together and so am I. I’m also sick of watching the thing, I DONT EVEN LIKE KIDS AND DONT PLAN ON HAVING ANY.
Am I the Asshole for not wanting to ditch her?
TLDR; boyfriend is getting annoyed I wanna help my mom out with her new baby and not move out for another year or 2. He wants me to move up with him soon (like this year) and I want to, but again, I don’t wanna abandon her.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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|
avv8i1
|
{
"description": "asking someone to remove their to go box from my table",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for asking someone to remove their to go box from my table?
|
I was in Chicago at a pizza place with my boyfriend and they sat us at a four-top right next to a couple in a two-top. My boyfriend and I sat on the farther side from them so a set of chairs were separating us from the other couple. The couple were finished eating and waiting for their check and talking and the girl puts a bag holding a to-go box on my table. Now this is a city I don’t live in and I haven’t been to this restaurant before so I don’t know the unspoken rules. However I am a space nazi and I hate it when people intrude upon what I consider “my” space. I’m also a non-confrontational person but I try to work on being more assertive.
After a minute or two I say “excuse me um, this is OUR table” in a voice that’s trying to sound nice and pleading. She removed the bag and gives me a dirty look and mumbles that I’m not using the space.
They leave and another couple is seated and they order salads and a pizza. They are eating their salads and the restaurant goofs up and brings their pizza out too fast. The guys are like “um, uh, er...” and put the salads on our table lol. This time I didn’t ask them to remove their salads because their table literally couldn’t fit all their food at once. It would have been nice if they asked though.
But I’m wondering, did I challenge a specific restaurant norm I wasn’t privy to? The girl had a to-go box in a bag that she removed from the floor and set on our table. Surely she could have kept it on the floor or held it in her lap. I just get weird about personal space.
What say you? I hope this isn’t a shit post, because I tried to be nice, but it’s really been bothering me that maybe I was out of line.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
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|
axdh0r
|
{
"description": "not wanting some person I hardly know coming with us to Asia for two weeks",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA If I don’t want some person I hardly know coming with us to Asia for two weeks?
|
Obligatory throwaway account and mobile app post.
I’m going on a two week Asia trip with my boyfriend of 2.5 years, his sister, and his best friend in July of this year. My boyfriend just told me that his sister invited her friend to this trip. I’m kinda annoyed that she didn’t ask to see if it was cool with all of us. I also don’t want her to tag along because I’ve only met her twice and I would prefer if it was just our close knit group going. She’s a nice girl but I’m very shy and it takes me forever to get comfortable with others :/. My BF said we have time to get to know her but I’m not sure how I feel about that.
Please let me know if I’m being unreasonable! I’m feeling quite anxious already :(
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "not letting my ex boyfriend talk to my friend",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not letting my ex boyfriend talk to my friend?
|
So I went to my ex boyfriends college for an event and my friend and I stayed over at his place that was on campus.
This ex was my first love from high school. Lost my virginity to him and vice versa, and he was a big part of my life. It took me a long time to get over him and I still have a lot of different feelings towards him.
He doesn’t talk to me much and we do talk every once in a while but rarely.
A couple days after the trip to his school, he texts me asking if my friend has a boyfriend. I freak out (I have sever anxiety) and start to have a panic attack. I tell him no and that I’m super uncomfortable by it and it makes me upset.
He kept taking about it, asking questions about her even though I asked him to stop. He didn’t understand why I was freaking out or why it mattered.
My anxiety doesn’t always make sense but is this not a valid reason to get upset? Or am I overreacting and should just let him talk to her?
AITA for not letting my ex boyfriend talk to my friend?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a5pped
|
{
"description": "not saving my brother a sear",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not saving my brother a sear?
|
I 17M did not save my brother 12M a seat at a Christmas program tonight, I sat with my friends and didn’t know he sat alone. My mother got mad at me for not saving him a seat. My problem is, he admits he hates my friends, he criticizes them for everything, calls them losers, and nerds, and the reject squad, so it’s no wonder they don’t relish the idea of him sitting with them. He is rude and openly hateful to them, and he yells at me whenever I mention it to them. My mother said it was my fault, aita?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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adnyat
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{
"description": "being mad about my mother buying me stuff I ask her not to",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad about my mother buying me stuff I ask her not to?
|
Context: my mother and I have a rough relationship. It would take a long time to tell the whole thing but the short story is that I don’t like her very much but interact with her because she has a pretty big mental illness that she’s now finally on meds for.
She’s still not the most amazing listener even on her meds. If she has a penny she’ll try and spend it. And not even on practical things. What she has been doing the most since we’ve reconnected for lack of a better term is buy me things. I think she thinks she can buy my love. The thing is she’ll ask if I want the thing and I politely say no (although knowing her patterns I’ve maybe gotten a little too harsh with the no) but then buy it for me anyway. Example: Shoes when I already have enough and a coat when I already have enough to the point where I did a New Years clean out and donated what I didn’t wear anymore. If she was rich I would maybe shrug it off but she’s on a fixed income. I’m begging her to save her money or even just spend it on herself. We don’t have the same style and she’ll buy the most expensive thing while I’m content to shop at goodwill.
And then she gets upset that I’m mad. I think my main problem is this is another thing in a long list of her never listening to me. On or off her meds.
TLDR: Mom asks if she can buys me something then does it anyway when I beg her not to.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "not wanting to go to some family gatherings",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to some family gatherings?
|
My family normally has little dinners and stuff all year around for different occasions, majority of the time I go with them and have a decent time. But one time in particular it was a dinner for a holiday at someone else's house whom I have not met before. Typically when we go to these events I just end up sitting down on my phone or something like that for hours on end while my mother (mostly) and my grandmother spend the evening talking and I'm really not doing anything. My grandmother most of the time doesn't even want to stay either but just goes probably because she feels like she has to. My mom is the main one that really enjoys going to these functions. And I try to talk to some of the people at the dinner but I'm a tad bit shy.
Most of the conversations just boil down to something school related since i'm 17 and it's not exactly the most fun thing to talk about. And after they ask about my school work, they normally don't say anything again. So, this dinner rolls around and my mom asks me to go, I decline and say I just wanna stay this one time and she gives me a frowny face but doesn't say more about it until later. When they're almost ready she tells me, "Your grandma would really want you to go" and at that point I feel a little bad but I still don't want to go. She tells me i'm being selfish by not going for my grandmother and i've been questioning if I was being selfish or an asshole for not wanting to go.
​
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "being upset at being left outside for 3.5hrs with my kids at an important production shoot",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset at being left outside for 3.5hrs with my kids at an important production shoot?
|
Hey guys! So a little backstory....our small family owned restaurant was chosen for a shoot for a food show. Awesome right? I will not be naming names but if/when it airs it will put our business in front of viewers nationwide. We found out maybe 48hrs in advance. After some communication back and forth we were asked to bring the "family" for a family photo shoot early in the day. This includes 4 small kids (3 toddlers) and 4 female family members. A big deal was made about being on time etc. Of course we want to do whatever we can to support..
Well, the morning comes and not only is the shoot cast as men-only, excluding both the kitchen matriarch and manager sister...but when we arrive at the time they requested they treat all of the women and kids like a huge inconvenience. We ended up standing outside in the parking lot for about 2 hours in the sun, then eating outside waiting for "the word". Every few minutes a crew member comes up to tell us only guests who are "supposed to be there" can be there and we have to reexplain ourselves... more than once to the same person.
Now if you've had family photos done with kids you know what a stressful time it can be. Keeping them clean and entertained and quiet to respect the filming process until the shoot begins. By the end of hour 3 I'm like kicking myself for bringing them out. They are losing their goddamn minds. A crew member comes over with some rubber logo bracelets and thanks us for "keeping them so quiet" and just turn around and walks away...then literally everyone pours out and starts to leave... it was over and they wrapped up. No photo. No release forms. No explanation at all. I pulled my son out of school on science fair day.😑
Now... of course my hubby the chef is 100% over the moon... as am I! We stayed up late whispering about how excited we were the night before. We talked about all the changes we'll need to make and upgrades we could do at the restaurant... basically the culmination of a lot of hard work.
He clearly thinks ITA for being upset that he and the crew didn't communicate with us at all and left all 8 of us outside in a literal parking lot in hot weather. I feel like he's TA for not bothering to bring up the fact that his kids were waiting outside on the gravel to the producer. He wants no responsibility in the matter and just blames the contract he signed. AITA for taking issue with what went down today and expecting him to speak up?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "being upset that my gf basically lied to me to go out and celebrate her divorce with her friends",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being upset that my gf (28) basically lied to me (33) to go out and celebrate her divorce with her friends?
|
My gf (28) was previously married, she got a notice late last year that her divorce will be official as of the 2nd of February. When she told me I told her I'd love to celebrate it with her that day. She said she'd love to and we left it at that.
A few days after that I over heard her on the phone with her friend telling her about the divorce and that they should get together and celebrate it on the 2nd of February. Wait, what? I thought that's what we were gonna do and so I asked her about it. She told me that she didn't mean it that it was just girl talk and that we are celebrating it.
Fast forward to this week. She tells me that her friends want to get together Friday night around 10pm to go cosmic bowling and have a few drinks. I immediately asked her if this is them celebrating her divorce and she said no. Said she didn't plan this and that it's just coincidence but if they can kill two stones with one bird why not?
Because of my new job I have to work nights and weekends so I can't celebrate it with her. I wasn't upset that she was gonna celebrate it with her friends but I feel like she lied to me when I first asked and that she's lying now.
I got upset and told her I was upset and that I prefer she cancels on them Friday (this part I know I'm being petty about) but am I the asshole for feeling this was and basically starting an argument today?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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9wyro2
|
{
"description": "telling my gf to seek professional help every time shes upset",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my GF to seek professional help every time shes upset?
|
I have to make a disclaimer that no mater how long this is, i cant completely and accurately portray this situation
My girlfriend and i have been dating for almost four years and this is our first year living together in a student apartment. We argue very often and have a very rough patches, but i do love her and our lives revolve around each other. I try to help her when shes upset but she often pushes me away, not letting me touch her and saying nothing is wrong when something clearly is. When i eventually pry it out of her its often not the whole truth or just "what i want to hear". This annoys me to an extent I can't describe
I am stupid and sometimes I i sound meaner than i want to when im trying to find out what's wrong, or just tell her straight up how i feel/what i think needs to be done. Shes lately been saying that it makes her feel like I don't care. Allthough in my mind, me trying to get the bottom of the problem so i can help is showing i care
I can only help her to a certain extent and in my opinion if she doesn't want to help me understand what's wrong then i cant help her properly. For 4 years i have been asking her to see a councilor (for this and other reasons) but she refuses saying it wont help and that it doesn't matter. It does matter to me, i think she needs to let everything out and come to terms with our relationship/her personal problems.
So reddit, am i the asshole for telling her to see one, and Telling her i can only help so much?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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aw6ty5
|
{
"description": "wanting my girlfriend to complain less about work",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting my girlfriend to complain less about work
|
She (24F) became a special needs teacher and loved it, initially, and over the course of the year her optimism is all but gone. I (23m) get 2 paragraph texts everyday, no exaggeration, about how terrible and disrespectful her kids are how sad she is with her job. Shes been getting the behavioral kids and not kids with special needs, ie autism, MMD, slight learning difference, she thought she would be getting. Everytime we hangout all we talk about is how sad her kids are making her, how disrespectful they are to her, and how she hates her job. She's honestly doing a fantastic job with them despite their circumstances, but it's still weighing her down constantly. We've been dating for just under a year, but have known each other since high school. Am I the asshole cause I've asked her to chill out on the complaining? I just feel it's starting to weigh me down as well and distract me from my studies, I'm still in school about to graduate, but I feel selfish for telling her she can't talk to me about how terrible her day is everyday.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
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aoqq6c
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on a second date",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go on a second date?
|
I met up with a guy I went to high school with, he was always decent looking, not blow you away sexy, but kind of cute I guess. I heard from a mutual friend that he moved to my city and was looking to meet up with some people. I’m 31 and he’s 33.
So we went on a coffee date and I honestly didn’t recognize him - he doesn’t have Facebook or Instagram so I couldn’t check him out beforehand. My friend told me he gained a “little” weight so I thought ok whatever, what’s a few pounds. He must have gained at least 100 lbs.
I honesty didn’t know him that well in high school, more acquaintances I guess. He’s a nice guy but I just couldn’t get over the fact that I was disgusted with his appearance. He was fat, like very fat and I can honestly say I was extremely turned off.
He wants to meet up again and I haven’t responded to him yet. The mutual friend who told me he moved nearby thinks I’m an asshole but I can’t help how I feel.
AITA for not wanting to see him again because of how he looks?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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arqhxe
|
{
"description": "not wanting to turn off my stream when my friends not talking at all because of it",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA : Am I the asshole for not wanting to turn off my stream when my friends not talking at all because of it
|
Am I the asshole for not wanting to turn off my stream when my friends not talking at all because of it
​
Be Me - Streams Since 2PM
Freinds Calls around 5 Tells me lets Hop on and play league
Tell Him im Streaming League Of Legends
He laughs ask me how many veiws in a mocking manor
I say 6
He Says Okay and Hops On Discord
Tells me All the whole time to shut off my shit stream or Shut It off
SadFace.jpg
I Say No Ive been streaming all day i wanna fit ina couple more games
He Doesn't talk at all
Ask him why He's not talking
He says Im not talking about it on stream
Tell him ill mute stream then {MuteTheStream}
Ask him Wtf going on he says No Shut you stream off im not talking about On you fucking stream
I say then jsut text me it
He ays Okay
GAME 1
He text all game and Doesn't talk barely at all
Im Communicating about the game and trying to conversate
he still really quite
I then get Ping issues and say my pigns at 300 lets get off a call and hop on my server
He tells me shut you stream off
I say fuck off and laugh
{Ping Fixes}
then I accedently press the macro that links my stream in all chat
He says jsut shut it off
i say why
He says you links it
I say my maps coverd they cant ghost
He keeps telling me to shut it off
I said ive been doing this all day it getting fucking Annoying you keep bothering me about it
\-WE WIN GAME
Game 2
He doesn't Talk at all
Mid way thru the game I say wtf is wrong with you why arent you talking
He says just shut you fucking stream off
I Then just leave the call Because we aren't talking and hes just being annoying
WE LOSE THE GAME
I jsut the VC and he talking with his girlfreind and shut off my stream becuase he jsut feed and pissed me off And didnt want to play anymore, I ask WTF is wrong with you, he the leaves the server Voice Chat
I call him He says Fuck you, You Rather stream then talk to me
Was i wrong at all.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
al3bc4
|
{
"description": "giving some advice which lead to them quitting",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for giving some advice which lead to them quitting?
|
Me and this girl ( I’m gonna call girl) are on the same newspaper team . I created it and she joined later on . We have been on and off friends and I recently was accused of being rude to girl ( I was a tiny bit but we made up) . I didn’t like her because she was too much of a goodie two shoes.
I missed a few days off on the newspaper and that was normal so I could get some time to myself ( it was at lunch). I come back and was used to everyone hating on each other . They got rid of my other design which was fairly good and nice. I often disagreed with her because it was too rainbow or stuff like that but she did it anyways. She was a better drawer. I get a copy of the newspaper after it had been finished and looked at it . She often let a kid have one ( who was a friend ) but I didn’t really like that . I said about how I didn’t like it and said I should have one too but that wasn’t allowed so I just dealt with it. I took a spare one we had from another friend and flipped through.
Me : wtf is this?
it was an outline of a wolf with random colours and scribbles inside so I disagreed. I show it to my other friend.
Me : do you know what this is. Shows her the page
Friend: no I don’t.
The girl walks up to us
Me : girl do you know what this is?
Girl: it’s a wolf
Me: umm uh ok. Can you show us before you get it printed?
Girl: yeah.
I just went on a little rant about it and said sorry afterwards because yeah , it was harsh.
I get up to class , sit down , open my book. I look over to the door . Girl is there with the other kids . It’s normal .
Friend: girl quit the newspaper
Me : mouthing* wtf!!!
I was scared because our headteacher doesn’t like me and girl went to the head last time so I got really nervous but stayed there .
I’m sorry if it seems like I’m trying to push it my way but it’s my story and I just wanted to tell .
A bit extra info:
The next week she got me kicked out and practically owns it ! She could kick anyone else out and we made a rule we wouldn’t kicked any of the originals out . ( me , girl, friend and other friend). I was pissed.
TLDR: I got a little mad at girl. I apologised, she quit our group. Next week she got me kicked out and owns it . Hmmm.
What does tldr mean?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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|
ahobo1
|
{
"description": "encouraging my boyfriend to have unhealthy behaviors",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for encouraging my boyfriend to have unhealthy behaviors
|
My boyfriend and I are both pretty young —we are both 19– and have only been dating for 8 months. In high school, we were good “friends” but neither of us had romantic feelings for each other.
I put friends in quotation marks because despite that, our friendship was REALLY inappropriate. Not in a fun FWB kind of way, but in an unhealthy way. We would mutually encourage bad behaviors ranging from minor things like making jokingly racist comments, to major things like self harm.
Fast forwarding a few years, we had briefly lost touch for several months and, long story short, ended up dating. I feel like our relationship was pretty normal/healthy in the first 2 months, but we kind of reverted back to that old dynamic. We’re both into being verbally degraded and fulfill that under the guise of it being “sexual” and therefore entirely appropriate to say EXTREMELY not-ok things.
I don’t want to overshare so I’ll be vague, but stuff like me telling him he needs to cut himself to demonstrate his devotion or stuff about him needing to starve himself in order to be cute, and him telling me that he would feel ecstatic if I killed myself because I would actually be useful as a sex toy then.
I knew that the situation was probably not super healthy, but at the same time I loved (and still do) that sort of dynamic. We’re pretty private about the relationship, so there isn’t really a risk of someone hearing/seeing something that is very bad out of the context of the relationship.
What makes me hesitant about just letting myself enjoy this dynamic is that the things we encourage are not completely fictional. We actually “sexually” encourage each other to self harm and not to eat. Outside of the degradation, we still encourage these things. In late HS we were “Ana buddies” and that dynamic is still there.
I’m brining this up now because one of my close friends who I have talked a bit about the dynamic with has said that they aren’t sure if it is completely healthy.
AITA for doing these things? I really want to just be able to enjoy the relationship even if it is unconventional, but is this wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
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|
aotzqw
|
{
"description": "sending out a group message to all my coworkers telling them to make sure movies are scanned in as to avoid 'not scanned in's'",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for sending out a group message to all my coworkers telling them to make sure movies are scanned in as to avoid 'Not scanned in's'
|
Basically since these three new hires were put on the team last month we've been having a HUGE problem with Not scanned in's or NSI's so far. I've pulled at least 15-20 movies off the shelves that weren't scanned in and some so late they were about to become purged (basically when a movie is kept out for more than 25 days we put a fee on the customers account on top of accumulated late fees that they have to pay back before they can rent again.) So now people are getting late fees and possible purge payments that they shouldn't have got. I wouldn't assume that it wasn't the new employees who were doing this if
1. A movie that my dad had rented out under my account and returned yesterday was sitting out on the counter when I opened this morning, not scanned in. The two people who were working yesterday was 2 of the new employees
2. This problem didn't start happening until they got hired. We had maybe 1-2 NSI's every couple of weeks before the newbies were hired.
I want to do it as a group message to all my coworkers so none of them feel targeted or feel like I'm singling them out as I don't want to cause drama. But the NSI's are getting quite bothersome because it really pisses people off and makes them lose trust in our business. Which in turn can cause us to lose business!
*tl;dr** newbies are harming the business
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
{
"description": "telling my bf to stop telling me the same stories over and over again",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for telling my bf to stop telling me the same stories over and over again?
|
My bf has some really good stories from when he was growing up. The problem is I’ve heard them over and over again. At first I would just go along and laugh like it was the first time hearing it, but it’s gotten old. He doesn’t have any memory issues or anything so it’s not like he doesn’t know that I’ve already heard them. It just seems so pointless to me to keep rehashing the same events.
Today he was telling me the one where he accidentally lit his hair on fire and I kinda snapped. I told him I know, you’ve told me about it a lot. You keep telling me the same stories over and over again. He just said fine he wouldn’t talk to me then. He’s been giving me the silent treatment since.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
a9u9ro
|
{
"description": "texting my Ex-fiances son",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for texting my Ex-fiances son ?
|
Long story short, my fiance just walked out on me. She waited til I went to work and packed her shit, took half of my rent money, our shared car and moved back in with her abusive ex-husband. No indication there was anything wrong. Everything seemed to be getting better. For over a year and a half I have spent a lot of emotion and energy on helping her raise her kids. Her 14 year old son especially. She is no doubt lying to him, and I don't care about that. I guess I just want to say goodbye, Merry Christmas, and that I love him. Which I do ..very deeply. We had a great bond and I never got to say goodbye. Her daughter is only eight so I can't get closure there...But the son is 14, doesn't live with her, and has a cellphone...So I guess I am just seeking guidance.i love those kids, and hate to walk away without ANY closure...just writing this has me sobbing :-(
Tl;Dr- Fiance cheated and left me while I was at work. Gave me no closure and just ripped my heart apart by taking her kids away without so much as a goodbye. WIBTA for simply texting him, saying Merry Christmas, and some sort of a goodbye?
Thanks! Merry Christmas and a Happy New year to all of you
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"description": "wanting to leave a store where my partner embarrassed me publically",
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AITA (25F) for Wanting To Leave a Store Where My Partner Embarrassed Me Publically?
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Details: Partner and I make six figures, have no debt, and no kids
Anyway... My partner grew up extraordinarily impoverished and he seems to view unnecessary spending and as a moral failing. I grew up upper middle class, and just don’t get it. However, partner and I (usually) have great communication so we’ve found a solution: our finances are combined, but I put aside extra money for things that are pleasurable. Since they come from “my money” the theory is that he will be able to freely enjoy these things that (I believe) are worth the money. The account is literally called ‘The Fun Account’. We also agreed that he will not lecture or complain about my purchases under $10 (he consistently fails at this...)
Partner and I have been planning a vacation for months. He has been crazy busy and I love vacations, so I have done all the planning, the only thing required of him is that he procure a tux and shoes to go with it. We leave in a week and he still has not done so. Great. At his request, I send him a list of potential renters. He doesn’t like any of them (lots of excuses, but in the end it comes down to price) and seeks out the cheapest possible tux instead. I let him know that the quality level is not appropriate, and the sales person is trying to sell him a tux that is never going to fit properly (I sold high-end suits and tuxes all through college.)
He agrees to go somewhere else to try on others and to have himself measured by a quality salesperson. The main goal is measurements, so he can get the right tux SOMEWHERE. We leave and go to the other shop. Within moments of engaging the salesperson, my partner starts asking me abnormally aggressive questions, he’s basically scolding me and saying I’ve tricked him into the store, when he only wanted to be measured! I am trying to keep the (commission based) salesperson’s head in the game, so I say that we’re here to try things on, get measured, and see if he likes these better. At this point he seems to lose it and starts talking to me in a manner that is totally out of character. He starts accusing me of tricking him and of luring him here on false pretenses. These tuxes are too expensive. He wants to go to men’s warehouse and have me buy a $200 tux instead (these are called ‘service tuxes’ and are meant for boys at proms and high-end bartenders. If you wear one where we’re headed, you’ll be mistaken for staff.)
Partner is refusing to let the salesperson handle things and measures his own waist (why?!) but eventually he decides that he’s going to try on tuxes here. Great. I have never been shamed like that in public before, so I am very upset. Public arguments are tasteless and grossly unfair to the people around you. It’s a small shop, and the sales girls are desperately trying to avoid making eye contact with me. I. Am. MORTIFIED. When the salesman leaves, I let my partner know that the plan never changed, we’re here to do exactly what we discussed and I don’t understand why he yelled at me! I tell him that I’m super embarrassed and I would like to call myself an Uber and leave.
This sets him off. Instead of calling me an Uber, getting his tux settled, and meeting me back at home, he gathers his things and storms out. He insists that he doesn’t want to talk about it, so we’ve been living in silence for 12 hours. He still doesn’t have a tux. We leave on Sunday. Wtf happened? Am I the asshole?
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WRONG
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AITA For cutting off a friend for the sake of my girlfriend?
|
First off some context. My friend, let's call her Kaylee, and I have been friends for the past five years or so. When her and I first met our relationship evolved into something of an exclusive fwb for about half a year but we eventually decided to return to just being friends again. My girlfriend Anna and I have been together for about a year and a half and friends for about three years now.
​
Over the past few months following our one year anniversary Anna and I have been talking about our relationship and the issues we see that do/may cause issues between her and I. The biggest issue that she has voiced and that we've both talked about with each other is that she deals with anxiety and jealousy due to my past and my sexual lifestyle before her and I started dating. Fast forward to today where I decided to talk to the people I talk to who were once in any type of sexual relationship with me. There were only three people, one of them being Kaylee, and the other two were very understanding and wished me the best of luck in my relationship with Anna. When I talked to Kaylee about it she accused me of being a shitty friend and that she'd never do something like that to any of the people she cared about.
​
So my question is, is it wrong of me to make this decision? To cut off my relationships with the people I have a sexual past with for my current girlfriend?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
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|
AITA for not wanting my gf to go on a random solo trip, when we just got back together?
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She left me over a month ago and we just got back together less than a week ago. I needed a solo day to figure out some stuff on my end and she said that she would head to a city a couple hours away. No big deal. That was two days ago, and i went out last night to hang with my buddy during my solo time. I told her about this and she got passive aggressive with me. We have a 3 day weekend coming up, so we discussed going somewhere together during this, and now she wants to go do something alone for the entire 3 day weekend. I thought it was kinda fucked up because she literally had a whole month during our separation to do whatever the hell she wanted, and now she wants a whole weekend separated when we just relit this mother.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "stopping being friends with someone who won't help me put in a new water heater",
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|
AITA if I stop being friends with someone who won't help me put in a new water heater?
|
Backstory: I have a friend who works at the same small company as myself (I got him the job) and who also lived with me for about 10 months for $200 rent (my mortgage is $1300/month for comparison and I pay about $400/month for water/electricity/internet) while he saved up money to put a down payment on a house. Part of the verbal agreement of the $200 rent was to paint the house, of which he has completed 3 rooms...the guest bathroom and the room he stayed in, plus the kitchen. Approximately 30% of the house we would need painted. I have tried to get him to paint the rest of the house several times and I get blown off (not in a good way) or he just forgets.
So on to the water heater; just before he moved out last year, I bought a new water heater and he helped me install it, which was awesome. For some reason now, the water heater has developed a slow leak, and I am getting a replacement and I would rather not pay a plumber's rate so I think to myself "I bet my friend would help, since he owes me." I asked him about it yesterday, he said he needed to check to see if he had plans, and just now he offered to help...if I paid him.
I'm going to try not to put any more bias in the story, but I feel like I'm done being his friend at this point. AITA here?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not paying my cheating girlfriend back",
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|
AITA For not paying my cheating girlfriend back
|
I found out my gf of 6 years was cheating on me. She lived with me rent free for 4 years. Additionally, we were about to buy a house before I found out, she put down 10k towards the deposit.
​
After I found out, I bought the house anyways and moved in alone. I've paid her back 4,000 so far, but as more stuff comes to light about our past (including booking a hotel without my knowledge, and telling me she was at her friends place for the weekend), I'm highly inclined to default on the remaining amount. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "sharing one computer",
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AITA Sharing one computer
|
So my family only has one computer and my brother and I have to share it. He gets 30 minutes to use it, then I get 30, then he does, etc. The problem is that recently my brother has been playing games on it with his friends more frequently and because of that he asks for an extension on the 30 minutes. For example, he wants 5 more minutes and because of that I want 10 minutes added to my next 30 minutes. Essentially i get double the amount he gets for his extension. My brother thinks i should just get the same amount of minutes he gets and because of this he calls me greedy. Am i the asshole
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "wanting to dump leaves on my neighbour's property",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
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AITA for wanting to dump leaves on my neighbour’s property?
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I have a large tree just inside the fence line of my front yard and, being a tree, it drops leaves now and then. On two separate occasions I’ve spotted very obvious piles of leaves sat on my side of the fence. On the other side of the fence: my neighbour’s spotless concrete driveway.
It’s obvious he’s collecting them all and dumping them over the fence along with whatever else happens to be around, like old cabinetry bits and bobs (screws, brackets etc from his work). The first time I was a bit amused and hadn’t lived here long, but it appears to be becoming a regular thing.
I can’t even begin to understand why this guy thinks he has the right to do this, and why he’d go to all the effort of collecting the leaves to *not* just put them in the bin. It seems spiteful and lazy. And this is suburbia, and we are lucky enough to be living in a leafy suburb. I *appreciate* my neighbours’ trees, even if I have to do a little sweeping and clambering on the roof now and then. I even get free lemons from my neighbour’s tree.
So, I obviously want this leafy business to stop. There’s a few ways to go about it, but I’m thinking I might start by depositing a few leaves on his side of the fence. It’s not in his face, just a little nudge to say “hey, I know what you’re doing and it needs to stop”. I know that the mature and respectful thing to do would be to have a conversation about it, but I don’t imagine I’m going to agree with his logic and he hasn’t exactly been respectful to me thus far.
What are your thoughts people?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "asking my girlfriend to not drink or do drugs? I care about her, and I'm just trying to make sure she doesn't make any bad decisions or anything to hurt herself. so why would she be mad at me for that? for caring about her? the fuck man",
"pronormative_score": 5,
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|
AITA for asking my girlfriend to not drink or do drugs? I care about her, and I’m just trying to make sure she doesn’t make any bad decisions or anything to hurt herself. So why would she be mad at me for that? For caring about her? The fuck man?
|
Literally just trying to look out for her and while I was at work she said she was/thinking about going to a party or something. It’s mostly a blur now so forgive me if I can’t remember everything correctly. Keep in mind she made a promise she wouldn’t to me. And a little after we were talking, while I’m having another panic attack, she gets pissed at me. For actually caring enough about her? So, my question is, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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aa85wk
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{
"description": "telling (and exaggerating to) my sisters new crush that she uses drugs",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
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|
WIBTA if I told (and exaggerated to) my sisters new crush that she uses drugs?
|
***Disclaimer: I amongst many other am a casual drug user who doesn’t use to the point of addiction, dependency, financial or social ruin. I use on average 3x a month. This post is not about drugs so feel free to flame your anti drug rhetoric but it’ll fall on deaf ears. ***
I overheard my sister last night telling one of my friends some really personal things about me. Specifically, she was telling him that I have a drug problem and that I can’t make it through a day of work without doing drugs. This is very far from the truth. I know why she said it and it is because a week or so ago I stated to her that I really needed some stimulants if I were to make it through the next couple of days at work. Reason being, I had to spend the last days taking care of my sister in the hospital and when she got home sleeping not at all. But whatever, even if I had a heinous drug problem, and she is scared and worried about me, she should not be gossiping about it to my friend. She has a tendency to bring the private into the public. Especially when she gets drunk, she will start fights with me and yell things that should really really be sad and discussed in private. My only response to her is that we need to continue that talk later in private.
To teach her how it feels, I kind of want to tell the new guy she has been seeing that she loves getting high on meth and fucking. Or something like that. Not true but she has done meth so true enough right?
I’m pretty sure this would be an asshole move so I was hoping you guys could reaffirm this and suggest an alternative route.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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WRONG
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afq79i
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{
"description": "not wanting to reconnect with my father and my half-sister",
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|
AITA for not wanting to reconnect with my father and my half-sister?
|
Not sure if this is the right sub for this but here's some background:
Growing up, my father and I weren't that close. My earliest childhood memories consists of him being drunk all the time, occasionally yelling at my mom and him passed out on the couch. He refused to financially support my mother and I and eventually left us when I was around 5 years old.
Over the years, my father would often attempt to contact me, and at such a young age, I would always refuse (though my mom encourages me to atleast give him a chance) because he could never get along with my mom, and to me, that was a huge deal breaker. I can't be friends with my father if he can't be friends with my mom.
In my teenage years, I gave him a chance since I'm close with his brothers, parents but not my father himself (strange, right?). My father and I would often see each other a few times a month. We catched up a bit; he told me about his new job, how my grandparents are doing, etc. and my father mentioned that he was seeing another woman, and I was cool with that. I genuinely wanted him to be happy.
One day, I absent-mindedly scrolled through his Facebook profile until I noticed him posting pictures with a baby. I'm almost never on Facebook (waste of time) and since my father and I were talking regularly at this point, I was very puzzled. I stalked him some more until the realization hits, he had a kid and didn't even bother to bring it up at all. I later learned that the kid was barely a year old and my father and I reconnected about two years ago.
Now this might not be a big deal to others but to me, it is. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally okay with both of my parents dating other people and moving on, but the fact that my father didn't even bother to bring this up was a shock to me since we've just started to have (or the very least repair) our relationship as father-daughter. It's inconsiderate for him to not mention that he was having a child, I would've been supportive. Finding out I have a one year old half-sister through Facebook stalking made me doubt about reconnecting with him.
I asked him about it and he just responded so casually, like it wasn't a big deal at all, which greatly offended me. To make things worse, apparently my half-sister has a serious disease and later on, he started asking me for money to support himself, his new girl and his child. I couldn't believe the audacity. I didn't give him any money and at the moment, I'm refusing to talk to him or even bother being in my half-sister's life in the future.
TLDR; My father was a deadbeat dad, left my mother and I at a young age, finally reconnected, had a child with someone, never told me, found out through Facebook stalking and now I'm debating if I'm an ass for refusing to talk to him.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "telling a kid to shut up on a plane",
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|
AITA for telling a kid to shut up on a plane.
|
I was on a trip to Michigan a yearback and some kid was crying on the plane for 30 minutes. I yelled for the kid to shut up and the kid quieted down but the parents started freaking out.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b6da4u
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{
"description": "asking if my asian friend knew any martial arts",
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|
AITA for asking if my asian friend knew any martial arts?
|
I have a friend who’s asian. He’s extremely fit and agile. I asked him if he knew any martial arts and he just got really sarcastic with me about it. I wasn’t saying all Asians knew martial arts, just asking if he specifically did.
Bonus AITA. His sister was home from college and complaining about how there was a guy she liked, but couldn’t date. When I asked her why she said that when she’s ready to get married her dad will set her up with a man. I told her that she’s an adult and can date whoever she wants. Her brother told me I didn’t know what I was talking about and to stay out of their family’s business.
|
HISTORICAL
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a4t1ed
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{
"description": "wanting my mom's boyfriend to move out of the house",
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|
AITA for wanting my mom's boyfriend to move out of the house?
|
So, this happened back in May where my mom asked if she wanted her boyfriend to start living with us. I said no, but my mom made him live with us ever since May. This was a couple weeks after my father passed away of old age, and she's letting a new man into the house when I'm not even over my father's passing.
I feel very uncomfortable in my household and have talked to her about not making him love her 24/7 since I can't have friends over or do everyday things like shower and change comfortably.
He does do good things like pick us up from school, but occasionally me and my sister can hear them having sex from across the house. Me and my sister are very uncomfortable about this, and both of us have talked to her. But, my mom hasn't done anything.
AITA for wanting my mom's boyfriend to move out?
|
HISTORICAL
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| null |
AITA my sister wants to go to Mass but I wouldnt be able to go to confession?
|
So basically my sister asked if I could wait longer for her to get ready so that she could go to Mass, but I would miss confession and not be able to recieve the Eucharist. She is also very sick. I contacted the family who takes us to Mass asking if they could wait a bit longer, then she started to attack me with, "if I told Father he would side with me." I explained to her, in a yelling fashion, that I want her to go to Mass but that I also need confession or I could possibly go to Hell if i die. She said that i can always just wait. She then criticized me even more for being mad even though I had just contacted the other family. I tried to make her get ready for Mass because she wants to go badly, but then she said she doesnt want to go because I am angry at her for having to wait, even though that's not why I was angry. In short she is not going because she thinks I'm angry for having to wait but I want to go to confession and I want her to also come to Mass
|
HISTORICAL
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|
a26mht
|
{
"description": "repeatedly shutting down my guardian",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for repeatedly shutting down my guardian?
|
My guardian keeps trying to talk to me about my problems and now my grandparent who passed away last month. As I do not trust them, I’ve been repeatedly shutting them down. Our relationship sucks, they’ve done multiple things that I just cannot forgive.
I’m pretty insulted that they want to speak about it now considering last month they had forced me to leave the [house and told me off for telling someone else](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/9wtwoj/aita_for_getting_angry_and_feeling_hurt_by_my/?st=JP5X1Z5Q&sh=77a3f3d2)
Today, they started the conversation with “Grandparent knew they were going to die”. No. No they did not know they were going to die. They had booked a holiday, and had made many plans with people. They were beginning to walk again, their health was improving greatly! They looked better than they had been in years!
I got mad and immediately told them to stop as I did not want to discuss anything with them. The just responded with that I should because they are my guardian.
A bystander who stood a few feet away mumbled “disrespectful” and shook their head at me. I’m beginning to wonder, I’m an asshole for telling them to leave me alone all the time?
|
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b48c68
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{
"description": "trying out trp",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for trying out TRP?
|
Hello everyone, 21M here. I've considered myself a lifelong 'experimenter' when it comes to a lot of stuff. I feel this way because a lot of times when making a decision to do or not do something, you're faced with a lot of second hand info that is usually biased and extremely titled to one side. Not to mention, completely anecdotal. Take, for example, something like nofap. You have people saying 'it changed my life for the better, made me more productive, etc' but also people calling it useless garbage. And it's really hard to make a decision based on subjective, probably biased second hand anecdotal evidence. So when it comes to trying lots of stuff all these self-help gurus and all them suggest, I decided, 'fuck it, I'll try it for a while, and see if it works for me. If it does, great. If it doesn't, it doesn't.' Over the years I've done a lot and basically consider myself the human Guinea pig.
So far in life, I've done okay with girls. I'm not swimming in girls or anything, but I've had a few relationships. But as always, I'm curious if I can do better than okay. That's where trp comes in.
Again, trp is something very controversial, with people saying 'it's misogynistic shit' but also people saying 'it made my life so much better'. As I've said already, all of this is anecdotal, all of this is subjective, and in a lot of cases, ymmv. So I came to the same decision: there's no consensus whatsoever, so try it out and see what happens.
It ended up being a mixed bag. On the pro side the lifting, meditating, nofap (to an extent), and cold showers really helped. On the other hand the whole 'alpha' thing was pretty much bs. So I continued with the former, stopped the latter.
Recently, I was on a forum (not reddit) with some people I know online, and I mentioned my experimenting over the years. I made a list of stuff I tried. It included everything from:
- Speed reading
- Nootropics
- Intermittent fasting
- Nofap
- Polyphonic sleep
- TRP
Everyone zeroed in on the trp thing, and said I was a huge asshole for even considering it. They didn't really listen to my philosophy of basically just 'trying it out'.
So I'm not sure now. Aita?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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a0p1nb
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{
"description": "telling a friend to leave",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling a friend to leave
|
Im in a theatre class and we are working on dramatic duets. I work with a girl in a dressing room because her ADHD causes us to have problems getting work done. We had a week to practice and memorize for it, and she wasn't memorized at all while i was. I didn't want to take an F on the grade, so after school we went back to the dressing room to help her memorize. We worked until people came in and she couldn't concentrate. I started telling them to leave. My close friend walked in and i told everyone to leave. He texted me later saying
"If you need people to leave, don't be an ass about it. (Friend) needed to talk to me privately, we didn't want to cause trouble. So thanks"
I responded with
"Maybe don't act like a 13 year old girl about it. I understand you're irritated and i didn't mean for it to come off as rude. Just text me next time and it's all good"
He replied
"Maybe don't insult when you're trying to come to an understanding"
We ended up hanging out and shrugging it off. I feel like it was just a miscommunication but my friends always tell me i can never admit when I'm wrong. I don't know if i am, but i want to know if i was in telling him to leave. I've already apologized about our conversation as he has as well. We were both TA there.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b015vs
|
{
"description": "dating someone my friend dated",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA dating someone my friend dated
|
My friend "John" broke up with my other friend "Stacy" and she has been really heartbroken and recently I have been talking to her a lot and we facetime every night for like 2 weeks and I think I am starting to develop feelings AITA for starting a relationship even though he broke up with her?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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RdsMtxPGMhu9gqDpoWDrKtDrQITny8Dp
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afca3v
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{
"description": "giving up on our friendship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for giving up on our friendship?
|
AITA for giving up on our friendship? (Didn't really know what to title this as there's a lot of things)
​
Starting off with some background info on how it all started, yes it will be a long post.
I'm male, important? Can be. Good to have included, I suppose.
It all began a few years ago, I had just started a new school and joined a new class. This class was just put together from two other ones, so there were some groups of friends already established. Anyways, there's this one girl in the class I really get an eye for. We end up dating for half a year before she ends it, saying she wants to focus more on school. Anyways, she's not really important to the story, just the background of it. So, we're broken up but still in the same group of friends, so kind of a weird situation but it works out as we were all going separate ways a couple of years later. That group of friends was sort of like two friend groups merged.
​
About 1 year go by and I've distanced myself a bit from the group of friends, but still staying close to the original group I hung out with. I start talking to the twin-sister of the girl I dated, and eventually we become best friends. We text almost every day, speak very often as well as meet up to talk and hang out. This goes on for about a year and we're still very good friends. She gets her first boyfriend and I am very excited for her as she's always been quite shy. That relationship ends up failing about a month or two later when she found out he was kind of an asshole. Didn't really see that one coming, but oh well. I support her and she moves on from him.
​
Right to a guy I knew to be an asshole, and I warn her as soon as I hear of the situation. Not even a week later I learn that she agreed to go on a date with this guy, and I am completely destroyed to figure that out. I let her know again that he's an asshole, have my sister explain it to her (the one who experienced this asshole first-hand) as well as telling her another time. I let her know that if she does go on that date, we won't be friends anymore. It's important to note throughout all this I let her know I am only saying and doing the things I am because I care for her. The conversation comes to a natural end, though I can tell she's upset. Her sister (my ex) is furious and spams me with messages because her sister is now crying. Though the situation passes and we're still friends...
I can't exactly remember everything very well, but I believe we continued our best-friendship as it had been before. Though it might have been a little shaky right in the aftermath. About half a year goes by and she gets another boyfriend. This is where our friendship started deteriorating. She replies less often, we have less calls and meet-ups. After a month it's almost impossible to get a response from her. From April til November of that year(2018) she barely responded - ever.
Sent her 3 messages between then and December. I honestly kind of forgot about her for a while due to a lot going on in my life, and her never responding. Speaking to a friend I actually learned that the boyfriend she got earlier that very year had ended just a few months later, the fact that she didn't even let me certainly didn't make things better. So in December I decided let's get this all sorted. I managed to get a reply, and we agreed to talk on a specific day. That fell through, but managed to get a new day set. I ended up being sick for a few days, including that, and was asleep while she was trying to contact me. I woke up and replied about 2-3 minutes after she had called for the last time and ended up getting no reply. I waited for about a week and without a reply I ended up removing her nickname in the chat (this is Facebook messenger, so it shows up in the chat almost as a normal message). And the next morning she sends me a message, saying "Good morning". I've yet to respond to it, and really am not sure if I want to pick it back up.
Having supported her and been there for her as best I could through the time we've been friends, it really sucked that she just stopped replying to me completely. I really needed her to be there for me this year, as I went through some pretty tough times. Her not being there and never responding to me didn't exactly make things better. I do understand it's not her fault if she's busy or this and that, but yeah, not really the main point of the post though I feel it can be relevant to some.
​
I really care deeply for her. I do love her, but I'm not in love with her. We've been friends for a long time and it sucks that things have gone the way they have. But just from everything that's happened, I'm not sure if trying to make the friendship work is even the best thing to do. We've met on the bus 3-4 times and she has greeted me, but it's probably because pretending she didn't see me would be very awkward. We've only met on the bus because we've attended different schools for almost 3 years, and as I've explained we haven't met up since early 2018.
​
My attempt at a TL;DR:
Best friend got boyfriend, stopped replying to me. I tried picking things back up after over half a year of almost no communication. Picking it back up fell through, I was sick and fell asleep. Replied 2 minutes after her call but got no reply. Removed her nickname a week later feeling like the friendship was over. She said "Good morning" the day after and I haven't replied. Been two weeks now.
​
But let's wrap it up: if I just leave this friendship behind, without trying another time, am I the asshole?
​
​
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ajnbh3
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{
"description": "blowing snow onto my neighbor's driveway after he removed part of our property line barrier",
"pronormative_score": 1,
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|
AITA for blowing snow onto my neighbor's driveway after he removed part of our property line barrier?
|
Background: (Sorry, it's long and formatted from mobile.)
I moved in nearly two years ago. The nextdoor neighbors never said two words to me. I was fine with that. We got along in our silent way.
Then this past summer, both the man and the woman who live there finally introduced themselves to me. It soon became apparent why.
They began asking me (especially the man) about removing a line of mature cedar trees/shrubs that grows on the property line between our two driveways.
The trees are something like these:
https://imgur.com/a/v3n0Dz6
I told them I'd think about it, expressing my concern that I needed to plow snow into those trees in the winter.
You see, my home has very little room for plowing snow off the driveway, and we live in a cold climate where one snowfall will accumulate on another and another… Basically you need to plan ahead for the big piles of snow that will form. And due to the shape of my driveway and placement of my home and garage, there is a large portion in the middle of the driveway that I normally plow into the tree line, using the snowblower to throw the snow fairly high so it will hit lots of cedar branches and fall to the ground without going through to the neighbor's driveway. The only way to avoid plowing into the trees would require me to laboriously plow and replow the same snow over many passes of the snowblower in order to shoot the snow into a big pile in the backyard (where I have already been piling snow from the back portion of the driveway).
The neighbor said he wanted the line of trees removed because the one on the end was shedding into his garage gutters. So I suggested he just remove the one on the end. He didn't seem to like that, so I asked what we'd replace the trees with once removed. He replied, "Nothing." Hmm
A few weeks later he approached me again about the trees. I reiterated the snow issue and again gave him the option to remove the tree on the end. He sort of shrugged it off. (Note that I never mentioned the issue of having a privacy hedge between our properties as I felt this might come across as rude, though it was also a big factor for me. I'm a female though, and sensitive to my privacy.)
Well, fast forward to fall, and I come home to this neighbor standing in his truckbed taking a chainsaw to the branches on his side of the trees and dropping them in the truck. By the end of the day he had essentially shaved his side of the trees down to their trunks, cutting the branches off as high as he could reach. (Seems like he couldn't reach high enough to prevent the gutter shedding issue, but okay.) And no, those branches and the foliage on that side can never grow back from this.
Following this shaving, the trees shed a LOT of dead brown evergreen leaf/needle things. I was afraid the trees might be dying. But they didn't. They just looked more sparse, both from the half-shave and the shedding.
Well, folks. Now it's winter, and we've gotten a few good snowfalls in lately. Guess what happens when I snowblow the middle of the driveway? Yeah, it goes through the sparse trees and lands on the neighbor's driveway, just as was predicted. Not a lot of snow. Just enough that it's noticeable on his already-plowed driveway. But I think if we get a thicker snowfall sometime, he may get a pretty significant amount through the trees.
I'm not going to lie. There's a part of me that feels it serves him right for refusing my offer and ruining those pretty trees. But I have not gone out of my way to prevent the snow going through the trees. I don't feel like spending an extra 10-20 minutes replowing the same snow into the backyard. All I've done to prevent it is aimed my snowblower higher up the trees in an attempt to hit the denser leaves. However, that just results in the wind blowing the snow back in my face. So that solution didn't last long. I could shovel by hand, but…that's kind of why I have a big gas-powered plow for my big driveway.
AITA for not making an effort to plow without getting snow in his driveway? WIBTA if I do this when we get even deeper snowfalls?
TLDR: Neighbor wants to cut down trees on property line that block me from plowing snow into his driveway. I say "no," so he cuts all the branches off his side of the trees. Snow goes through anyway. AITA for not changing my snowplowing habits to accommodate the trimmed trees?
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HISTORICAL
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PGcSGTF4anNb7eVIxQguOytSQn9iZy5B
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av1540
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{
"description": "telling my sister-in-law her new laptop gift was a bad purchase and to go return it",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my sister-in-law her new laptop gift was a bad purchase and to go return it?
|
This was back in November, but it keeps haunting me. My wife was angry with me, but I tried to convince her of my good intentions.
My SIL and her husband bought a new Apple MacBook Air the day before the new ones were announced with the long overdue upgrades. The new one is leaps and bounds better, and it was all over the web. I enjoy being caught up on computer news, so I knew this. I'd also understand if people don't read that, and she was very happy with her new, but old tech, laptop.
So because this wasn't a surprise gift, and they chose it together, I suggested they return it and pre-order the revised MacBook Air for whatever extra it may cost, so that they have a far superior machine that lasts longer.
So was it a dick move to say they made a mistake, and I should have kept my mouth shut? Or as rude as it felt, was it worth it to say something? They did end up getting the new one, and because I told them right away, they were easily within their return window.
Thanks for your opinion. I either want to rest easy knowing I made the right choice, or know to keep quiet on more subjects going ahead.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b1npt1
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{
"description": "asking a friend to reciprocate",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking a friend to reciprocate?
|
So I've got a friend who I've been friends with for the better part of two years. Recently though, she's been extremely insistent upon me (and her followers) being extra supportive and enthusiastic about her original stories. She runs a massive fandom blog with over 5000 followers, and she threatens everyone with "If you dont play into my fantasy then I wont write". She hasnt really been writing for the fandom blog at all and has only been writing for her original stories, which is not the issue here but is still somewhat important.
Here's the twist, she has Autism, OCD, PTSD, BPD, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, and Anxiety. Shes a fan of saying "God had to nerf me or I'd be too powerful".
I recently went through a period where I stopped talking to her because I was tired of being her personal cheerleader and never receiving anything in return. She's talked endlessly about her stories and her characters, about her struggles and hardships, and during the entire thing, I listened and supported her, but she hasnt reciprocated.
Today, I sent her a message telling her why I stopped talking to her, and it went like this
Me: So, I know we haven't been talking much as of late, and I just want to kinda explain why I've been a bit more distant than usual. I'm not saying I dont want to be your friend anymore cause that's not the case, I think you're awesome, but I kinda feel like you only use me as a means to feel validated with your stories. I'm not saying I dont like them or that they're stupid, I just kinda feel like it's not an even balance between the two of us. I love your stories, I really do, but you arent the only one who enjoys sharing their ideas and I kinda feel like mine get swept under the rug sometimes.
That's kinda why I stopped talking, because I was a little hurt. I felt like I wasnt allowed to talk about anything except what you wanted to talk about, and I try to be an accommodating person, but that doesnt mean I'll let myself be a doormat. I still think you're a great person, and I still want to talk to you and help, but do you think you might at least be able to meet me halfway?
Her: Sure, of course, whatever means you don't hate me. I'll never mention them again. I'll shut up for good.
Me: Ok, calm down, I dont want you to misinterpret me.
Her: I'm serious. I'll do whatever you want.
Me: I dont want that though, I still want to be your friend, but all I'm asking is that you be a bit more considerate
Her: Of course. I'm never considerate. It's my own stupid fault that everyone says this. No one ever tells me thank you, no one tells me I can shut up. I wont mention it again. I'm sorry.
At this point, I know I've given her a panic attack and I feel awful for it, but I also feel like shes trying to guilt trip me. I've bent over backwards multiple times to make her happy, I dont see why it's such a big deal to ask for something in return, but I still feel shitty. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b2xxnu
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{
"description": "referring to my ex as my boyfriend in stories I tell from when he was at the time my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for referring to my ex as my boyfriend in stories I tell from when he was at the time my boyfriend ?
|
I’m 18, female, British, and a grammar nazi tbh.
So I was having a conversation with my boyfriend and one of my friends just now, and I started telling them a little story that was fairly relevant to the conversation and was just meant to give them some context for my viewpoint within the debate we had gotten into. My little story went like this:
“When I was in year ten I went to a party that was at my boyfriend’s best friend’s party...”
My friend started giving me weird looks for referring to my ex as my ‘boyfriend’, even though I had made it clear I was talking about the past and the story was told in the past tense. After the friend had left, my (current) boyfriend asked me to stop referring to my ex as my boyfriend, which I will do anyway in order to make him feel more comfortable.
The reason I referred to him as my boyfriend and not my ex is because I wanted to show that at the time he was not my ex. I’m an English student and I’m pretty sure if I’d said “in year ten I went to a party at my Ex’s best friends house” it would imply he was my ex at the time, which he wasn’t.
So, does my wanting to be grammatically correct make me the asshole?
If there are any people out there who know how to use correct grammar in a past tense anecdote whilst not referring to ex boyfriends as “boyfriend” it would be appreciated 😊
Side note, babe if you see this and the verdict is that I’m the asshole I give you permission to hold it against me lol xx
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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|
aidp8x
|
{
"description": "sometimes refusing to do my chore",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for sometimes refusing to do my chore?
|
For the background: i'm a physically disabled 19 year old and I live with my roommate, 21 and able bodied. Originally we would take turns with the chores (the 2 chores in question are the dishes and taking out the trash). So when she took out the trash, I would do the dishes, when she does the dishes I take out the trash. The problem was, she would get irritated at me for being too slow with the dishes or using up the hot water or generally not being done with the things she wanted by the time she wanted to cook. Why I mentioned I am physically disabled is because that's the reason I am slow with them, it wasn't on purpose. Poor coordination and weak legs, I had to stop earlier than most so I wouldn't collapse or break one of the dishes by dropping it.
So we came to an agreement she'd always always do the dishes if I always always take out the trash (since then, I've also taken on the responsibility of sweeping, mopping, and cleaning the counters though she'll do it on an occasion. The reason I've taken on these 3 additional tasks is because, "dishes are so stressful. It's fair if you do more chores"- most of the time, they're her dishes, not mine anyways).
And I was fine with taking out the trash although at times it was painful because it was heavy, I have a disability, and it is a bit of a walk. The dumpster I have to take the trash bags to are a half of a block to a block away but, I'd get it done. However, there was 1 term & condition. That I wouldn't take it out after night without her walking with me because I get really scared and paranoid being outside alone.
This was all fine and we worked like this for a while, until I returned from winter break (I spent half of December and a week of January outside the state with family). When I returned, I noticed that she would clean her room almost immediately after I took out the trash, causing the trash to be almost full if not completely full often the night of or day after taking out the trash. She would get upset at me if I complained though my complaining was because, as I said, it can be a bit painful, it's a long walk, and I had JUST taken out the trash the day before. I didn't want to do it again.
I told her once when I was about to take out the trash and checked with her if her room was clean, thinking this could resolve things but instead she just snaps at me and tells me how clean her room is, is none of my concern. I think it is my concern because I have to take out her trash.
I've also asked her several times to Not clean out her room immediately after I took out the trash so that I don't wake up and see it almost full after I had JUST taken it out. I told her if she wants to fill up a trashbag full of her trash, she can take it out herself. This didn't stop her either, except cause some arguments. Now she fills up plastic shopping bags and shoves it into the trash bag but it still fills it up to over half way full.
She also complains about the smell sometimes, but she's the one that is tossing in raw meat scraps usually a day or two after I take out the trash when its mostly empty (if it's stayed mostly empty). I rarely cook raw meat btw, because I don't have the energy, I live off of pasta, microwaveable meals, and sometimes a "frozen meat entree" whenever I have the money.
So this is where my question comes in.
Last night she took out the trash because it was dark out and I hadn't done it; she got frustrated that it wasn't taken out and did it herself. Today its already full, barely any of the trash is mine, but I know she's expecting me to take it out today. I know if I take it out, I won't be standing my ground and that she will possibly yell at me BUT id be willing to do it tomorrow after classes.
So, AITA for not wanting to take it out today?
and AITA for refusing to take out the trash roughly a day or two after I had JUST taken it out, refusing only because she decided to fill it up after cleaning her room which I asked her to do, multiple times, before I take out the trash, not after?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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abqtu0
|
{
"description": "gelling my sister to stand up for herself and take her break",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For gelling my sister to stand up for herself and take her break?
|
So my sister works retail for the past year and half. She has been complaining that her boss doesn't allow them to take a 15 min break every 3 hours. There is a law in place that says she is allowed to take that break and my dad who is a manager at another retail store agreed her boss is in the wrong. Her argument is that her boss doesn't take the break so why should she.
I have told her this over 10 times, take your break. But she constantly declines. At the same time she constantly complains that she isn't allowed to take her break. But this time at the dinner table she was complaining about it and I blurted out "Its your right take advantage of it and take your break". Although I was tough about it, my whole family got mad and said it's not right for me to treat her like that. Although I didn't tell her anything wrong, I never yelled at her or anything about this matter I just stated her right every time.
Would really appreciate everybody's advice. Any kind of criticism is accepted. Thanks.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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ayuxrh
| null |
AITA for swearing
|
I live in Germany and grew up saying the word "fuck" its in my normal everyday language. Now my sister had an American student who is 14 coming over for a week and I know fuck is a bad word in America so I tried not to say it. At first it worked but talking more and more in English it just slips sometimes as it was a normal word to say for me. I asked him if it was allright but nevertheless I sometimes feel bad about it. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
HB0FqDkzz2xUCh5ewiKMWrm8Ds8OJpoZ
|
akprze
|
{
"description": "wanting to stick with my delivery driver job instead aiming for studies for a better paying job",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to stick with my delivery driver job instead aiming for studies for a better paying job?
|
To give some context, I'm 23 years old and I live with my girlfriend in a rented house. We live pretty comfortably, from a pay to the other usually but at least we don't lack anything. Many members of my family keep on pressuring me to make a path change in my life. How I could make this or that formation or this or that enterprise where they're hiring for a better salary than mine. The thing is, I love my job. I love being on the road always and I'm never afraid of Monday mornings, because I'm almost happy to go back on the road for an other week. I'd even go to say, it's more than a job, it's a passion. But, there's always these thoughts in the back of my head, making me feel wrong and stressed out for my family to not be supportive of my career choice. It's only a few dollars over the minimum salary, but at least I got 40 hours and a stable schedule with insurances. Plus I love the team there and honestly I'd hate to work in an enclosed space. Even if my back hurts sometimes from always driving and lifting heavy weights, I wouldn't want to trade it.
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HISTORICAL
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AITA for cutting off my friend/ ex boyfriend?
|
Let me start by saying this happened at the beginning of the year, but it was recently brought to my attention which is why I’m posting this.
My ex and I had been best friends all through high school, he wanted more, I did not until the end of my junior year/ his senior year. We dated for 7ish months, broke up because he didn’t really put in effort that I wanted from a boyfriend. We stayed friends because there wasn’t much fighting and we didn’t hate each other.
Flash forward to shortly after, I started dating this guy (we’re still together now, he’s wonderful) and my ex started talking to another girl. We were happy for each other, there wasn’t jealousy or hostility. They had been going on dates and having sex and everything, but my ex said they were not officially dating. Of course I was like, that’s fine, I don’t care how you label your love life. However, the day of my birthday rolled around, instead of seeing me or calling me or texting me to wish me a happy birthday, he asked out that girl (he’s known me since we were 13/14, he knows my birthday, so he didn’t forget). He texted me and talked for hours about how he asked her out, but didn’t once say happy birthday.
I ended up cutting him off because I didn’t want any petty ex drama and it really seemed like he was trying to start a fight over this, but maybe I’m just over thinking this. AITA?
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AITA for being upset because my brother doesn't do me a favor?
|
Me \[19M\] and my brother\[15M\] argue a little bit, sometimes I make fun of him, sometimes he makes fun of me but it's all brothers things but we have an overall good relationship .
I'm finishing high school and in my country we have to do college entrance exams to be able to go to college. My school is a professional school (more focused on who wants to work soon after finishing high school)and doesn't have these exams, those who want to do the exams have to go to a normal school to do them.
My brother is in a school that has these exams. I went there to sign up for the exams but I could not pay them because the school stationery shop was closed and their schedule is from 9:00 am to 12:20 pm and 2:20 pm to 4:20 pm.
This schedule is impossible for me because I'm in internship and I work from 9 am to 5 pm with an 1 hour lunch break, and the company I'm working at is 1 hour from that school.
So I asked my brother to go to the school stationery and pay them with my money because he has classes at that school and he's there 7 hours a day.
He said no and also said that these are my problems and that I have to solve them by myself.
​
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{
"description": "asking my girlfriend to talk to me less about her favorite novels",
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WIBTA if i asked my girlfriend to talk to me less about her favorite novels?
|
I live with my girlfriend and recently she's become obsessed with a particular series of novels. She's on her phone pretty much 24/7 reading the books, on discord servers about the books, on tumblr blogs about the books, making memes about the books. They're good books and I like them too, but I read much more slowly than she does and have only read 3 or 4 of them, and I'm currently working on a writing project which occupies most of the free time I would otherwise spend reading and I'm not really interested in trying to read them to keep up with her right now. Additionally, I work a full-time job with a long commute and she's currently unemployed, so she has way more free time than me.
I'm happy she's found something she likes so much, but she keeps constantly talking to me about them. Such as telling me I need to read more of these books and asking me to read her fanfiction even though I don't really have much context to appreciate it. Also, most of the time when we're together, she'll be on her phone and interrupt whatever I'm doing to read me a post or bit of a book she thinks is funny without much context. I find being interrupted constantly extremely draining and our limited free time together is mostly just me nodding and pretending to laugh at things I'm not really interested in. It's also a little disheartening because she doesn't really reciprocate sometimes and hasn't talked to me about what I'm writing, I'm not even sure she knows I'm working on something.
WIBTA if I asked her to talk to me less about these books? It's not that I want her to not talk to me at all, or to stop talking to other people about these books. There was one point at which we were going to the store together to get groceries and I asked her to leave her phone at home, because every time we did so she would spend it on her phone not helping me shop. She still brought it and kept off it for a good while but eventually went back on it. The period of time when she didn't have it on her was nice because we were actually talking to each other and doing stuff together.
I'm also a little worried this obsession is going to distract her from her job search. She is still helping with the bills from her savings and we're doing OK on money right now, so I'm not worried about that part of it, but she gets very frustrated with herself for not having a job in her field that uses her degree and she's been looking at grad school programs and she finds it intimidating. She is probably using this as a way of escapism to avoid thinking about it. Which I totally get, but WIBTA to point it out?
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|
WIBTA for not attending their Christmas party?
|
I have a large family with divorced grandparents and this means that every year for the entire week of Christmas I have 3-4 family gatherings to attend depending on the year.
My stepdad has been in my life for 12 years now...him and I have a lot of differences and have hit heads a lot in the past - we can get along okay and be cordial with one another but we really don’t have any kind of relationship outside of family gatherings..
My stepdads parents live far away from us and we only see them once a year usually around the holidays ..In the 12 years I have known them I have probably only seen them 12 times but they have always been kind to me when we get together and they even send me birthday cards every year (which is pretty thoughtful and more than my biological family does)....I generally enjoy being around them...
this year from the 21st to the 26th I have 3 different Christmas get togethers to attend with my biological family and then my step dads parents get together is on the 29th.
In all honesty I just don’t want to go...it is nothing personal towards them but after a full week of family get together I wouldn’t mind a day or 2 for myself while I have the time off of work and really don’t feel like taking the 4 hour drive ....part of me thinks “well my stepdad and I don’t even really talk anyways” but then another part of me feels that it is disrespectful to not go...
WIBTA for skipping out on their family get together?
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"description": "skipping my aunt's wedding to play soccer",
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|
AITA for skipping my aunt’s wedding to play soccer?
|
My aunt, who I’ve never been close with, is getting married the same day that I have a soccer game 1 month from now. My mom already told me her I’m going, despite me never agreeing to in the first place. I only see my aunt once every couple of years so I decided to ask her if it’d be alright if I didn’t attend her wedding and went to play in the game instead. I told her that soccer means a lot to me and that this game is really important. She told me she understood and said I had her blessing to go play and she wished me good luck.
My mom was pretty upset because apparently I wasn’t the only one skipping the wedding. Her brothers and their kids didn’t want to make the trip and her aunt couldn’t make it due to poor health. She also said that by me not showing up there was going to be a disproportionate number of girls to boys. She told me my aunt must’ve been pretty hurt by me asking to skip her wedding but she didn’t sound upset. She didn’t even know who I was, when I approached her she asked me “who’s kid are you?”. I will play no role at the wedding so I don’t think there’s a point of me being there when my aunt didn’t recognize me
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"description": "getting upset at my crush/good friend for going on a date with someone else",
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|
AITA for getting upset at my crush/good friend for going on a date with someone else?
|
So I think this story needs a little context. So I like this girl in our high school, she is in the same class as me and we we are very good mates. So over a video call I told her that I liked her and we decided to go on a date. It was a pretty nice date, I had a nice time anyway, and that was that. We had been messaging very often since then at which point I asked her if she wanted to go any further with the 'relationship'. As she had recently came out of a long-term relationship, she said she wasn't quite ready but she liked me too - which I accepted. I left it a little while and we continued messaging and voice calling most days until last night. Where she messaged me and said "sorry for not messaging you I was at the cinema". I received this message at midnight so I thought obviously her parents have been out with her all night or.... She went to the cinema with another guy. I asked her who she went with and she replied with "someone", at which point alarm bells started to ring. I called up some mates to help me out and to find out who this girl that I really like went to the cinema with and after several messages and me getting quite confused and upset about the whole situation we found out that she went out with a guy, from the grade above me. Is it just me or do people think that she should of just told me that she didn't want to take things any further rather than giving me a sense of false hope. And Am I The Asshole for getting upset about the situation?
(I would be able to accept if she told me that she didn't like me and then went on a date but what confused me was that she said she liked me but didn't want to move on yet because of said previous relationship)
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amujxo
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{
"description": "not wanting to give my mom back massages",
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|
AITA for not wanting to give my mom back massages?
|
On mobile so sorry for formatting probably.
My mom always used to have me rub her back as a kid. I never liked it because it made my hands hurt, but other than that I didn’t care.
Now that I’m older, I hate doing it even more. I don’t like touching people at all, I think it’s gross. It also doesn’t help that she always makes noises while I do it, which is just weird. She asked for them a lot, and sometimes I agree because I feel guilty if I don’t.
Anyway, earlier today she was asking for a back massage, but I didn’t want to because my hands hurt. She got all mad and was saying that nobody cares that she is in pain. I felt guilty but still didn’t, because it makes me uncomfortable. Does that make me an asshole?
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{
"description": "not replying to my colleagues' desperate attempts to get in touch with me regarding an important project",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
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|
AITA for not replying to my colleagues‘ desperate attempts to get in touch with me regarding an important project?
|
I am currently on leave of absence.
However my female colleagues are incredibly dependent, lazy, dumb and bitchy.
I’ve always been completely annoyed by them and couldn’t give a damn about them losing their shit right now because they don’t know anything and are used to me handling any major tasks.
All three of them tried desperately contacting me through several services with too many messages and E-mails.
So, I marked them as spam and blocked them.
I must say, it felt really good!
Those bitches can SUCK MY BUSINESS DICK!
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not wanting my aunt to attend my nan's funeral",
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|
AITA for not wanting my aunt to attend my nan's funeral?
|
My maternal nan recently passed away on the 25/03/19. She had ovarian cancer however passed suddenly.
The funeral is in a couple of weeks and the news of her passing was placed on social media to inform friends and distant family.
My paternal aunt saw the post and informed me that she was sorry to hear about the loss of my nan.
Just over a week later, she sent me a message on social media, asking how I was and if she could attend the funeral because she said she would like to pay her respects and be there for me. This was the first contact I had received from her in the last 6 to 8 months.
My paternal aunt has only met my maternal nan a few times, and they have barely interacted with each other.
I've recently had a strained relationship with my aunt due to her not attending my wedding in 2017, after saying she would and not informing me that she wasn't going to attend.
This hurt me because she is one of the only links I have to the paternal side of my family, which meant that we were very close.
While I can understand that she would like to pay her respects to my nan, my paternal aunt only knows my immediate family, and I don't want to have to feel like I have to entertain her because she doesn't know anyone else attending the funeral.
I appreciate the support she wishes to give, however I also have my maternal side that will require my support as I will theirs.
I can understand why she wants to attend the funeral, however I will want and need to be able to be with my maternal family.
So reddit, am I the asshole for not wanting my aunt to attend the funeral?
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ardtr8
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"description": "telling my friend about a party she was not invited to and potentially causing more drama",
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|
AITA For telling my friend about a party she was not Invited to and potentially causing more drama?
|
Sorry if the formatting is terrible doing it on my phone.
Some background...
My friend, let’s call her ‘B’ was planning on having a ‘going away’ party as she is moving to another state. She invited everyone in our friendship group except this other person I’m really close to, let’s call them ‘T’.
‘T’ and ‘B’ used to be best friends but a lot of drama happened between the two of them, and they have settled for just being very cordial and polite with each other in person but each strongly dislikes the other.
The reason I suspect ‘B’ did not invite them is because they did not want to have to put up pleasantries with this person and wanted to leave the state without ever having to talk to her or see her again.
T and I are very close, we’ve talked about really personal stuff, hang out together privately outside the group and so I consider us really good friends. She’s also massively helped with my social anxiety.
A few nights ago, someone wrote in our group chat (that has everyone in the friendship group) asking what time the party was on. Having been through that awful feeling of knowing I’m not invited to something, I stressed to my partner how upsetting this would be for ‘T’ to see the message and that they deserved to be told in person - which prompted him to confront the guy who was apologetic and deleted it straight away before they saw it.
Last night I was hanging out with ‘T’ when I decided I should tell them in person there was going to be a party and that everyone was invited except them. Understandably they were upset and worried people were turning against them and questioned their place in the group. They then became really furious at ‘B’ and (not sure if this was a heat of the moment thing or not) exclaimed they were going to message them some pretty nasty stuff.
I feel awful and terrified that I may have potentially caused drama - I always try and keep information I hear about people to myself. I just knew last time I was in the same situation as ‘T’ I wish someone had the guts to tell me I wasn’t invited, instead of finding out in other ways.
What do you guys think? Am I the asshole?
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"description": "breaking up with my long distance girlfriend and getting with my former friend's girl",
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|
AITA for breaking up with my long distance girlfriend and getting with my former friend's girl?
|
Sorry about the formatting, on mobile.
This has been happening over the past couple weeks, and I figured that it'd be good to post here, to allow complete strangers to judge me more objectively than people I know! I was in a long distance relationship with a girl I had been talking to for the past four years. At first things were going great; we talked a lot, it seemed like we had many things in common. Around 3 months into the relationship though, we started drifting apart. Talking less often, and I also discovered that she does not enjoy many of the things my friends and I do for fun.
I broke up with her in what was probably not the best way, basically saying I'm sorry, but I'm just not really feeling it anymore. She immediately started crying, sending me a bunch of texts within a couple hours, telling me how much she's crying in class, things like that.
I then called, and we tried to figure things out. She kept telling me things I thought were completely unrealistic, like that one of us could come see the other once a month. (sidenote, we're in canada, and she's across the country. Flights from here to there cost around $650CAD.) She is 23F, I'm 23M; We are both in uni.
While this was happening, I'd been talking to another girl, who was dating one of my friends at the time. I learned from her that over the course of their relationship, he had abused her rather often. While I'm normally a skeptical person, in this case I'd managed to verify with the friend in question, and skype logs.
I'm sure you all can guess where this is going. I broke up with my long distance person, she broke up with my apparently abusive friend, we figured out we had more in common with each other than we did with our previous partners, we are now dating.
I feel like a complete fucking asshole, and I really don't know what I should have done differently.
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aw906q
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"description": "wanting to spend my last night in town after a long stay with my sister",
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|
AITA for wanting to spend my last night in town after a long stay with my sister
|
I’ve been staying with my sister and BIL for 9 mos as their live in nanny. I quit my job, put my things in storage and moved halfway across the country to do this.
It’s time for me to leave soon and I found out that on my last weekend here my sister is working all weekend. That’s fine, it’s work and not a shift she picked up. I told her I thought we would be doing a final family activity like brunch ( we make at home) or a trip to the mall (that was mostly a joke, but if we actually did that I would still be happy). So that weekend she’s busy working and I’ll be packing and leaving so there isn’t much time to hang out.
The Friday before that weekend she texts me and asked if I’m leaving that night. I said no, I have laundry and cleaning so I’ll probably be leaving Sunday (was planning on deep cleaning my room and bathroom when I had all my stuff out and washing linens). She proceeds to tell me that she has made plans with her friend after work Friday, just “for a couple hours”. I told her I wanted to have a family night before I left and she asked why I take things so personally and that if I wanted to make plans with her I should have asked. Her friend asked her so she made plans with her. She won’t be back until late evening, missing family dinner, then when she gets home needs to get cleaned up so we would have not much time until we are all exhausted and need to go to bed. Her friend lives here and they will have many other opportunities To hang out
I feel that I had made it clear that I wanted to spend time together when I asked about brunch. I didn’t think I would have to continually ask her availability and have her pen me in for a time. She has told me in the past that she pencils people in, that way she can change plans if something better comes along.
Am I the asshole for wanting to have a family dinner and spend some time with my sister and BIL playing cards and chilling? Is this not a common courtesy when hosting someone at your house to have a last dinner/say farewell thanks for the good times?
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HISTORICAL
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ama11a
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{
"description": "not believing my dad about his \"trump photo\"",
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|
AITA for not believing my Dad about his “Trump photo”.
|
My dad lives out on his ranch far from me. He is slightly nutty (but I love him very much) and claims in a phone call he has come across a photo of Donald Trump from his days in construction doing something highly inappropriate. He wants to show it to me. I am not convinced and since he doesn’t use computers and is worried it will be lost by mail he wants me to come and see it. It is a long drive over there and I think he has just got confused. I am frightened he might be developing dementia. Is it wrong that I don’t believe him?
|
HISTORICAL
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9y888y
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{
"description": "dropping my friend who mistakenly dropped me",
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|
AITA for dropping my friend who mistakenly dropped me?
|
So at the time I knew that friend for four months and we got along real well. I'd reckon we became one of eachothers' closest friends in that time. We'd text about 2 hours every day. In all honesty though, our friendship sort of began out of me getting her out of a controversial relationship. It sort of felt like she was just using me to get over him, but she still messaged me random things and talked to me about this and that and helped me if I ever seemed upset.
​
Flash forward to late October and we're talking about the movie Venom. We get into an obviously fake argument (I can genuinely assure you that she knew it was fake and played along as well, but I'll get to that later). I'm going on about how the movie was terrible, and she's throwing all sorts of plus points to the movie and her fandom for both Eddie and Venom. At that point, I said "Goodbye \*full name\*" to her and then shut down my phone and went to bed. I've been known for taking jokes far--this has been something multiple of our mutual friends and her have brought up when the topic arises.
​
The next day I get a text from a friend asking if I was mad at her because he said she seemed concerned about it. I message her about it and she acts very nonchalant about the whole thing, but then she says she thought I was being homophobic because I said goodbye when she mentioned Eddie and Venom dating. She then says she was "like whatever" (to quote) and was ready to drop me because she thought I was being homophobic (I got the opinion of my gay friend and he said that the conversation we had wasn't a valid reason for dropping me, but that's just one opinion).
​
Like I understand that you don't need to be friends with whoever you don't want to be friends with, but it really hurt that everything we had been through and done together in that time (which was actually quite a bit) was so readily forsaken. So I just said "okay, good to know" and then left it at that. Five days later she texted me and asked me if she'd look good in bangs (which she asked 5 other people), to which I said she wouldn't, but do what makes you happy. I'll admit I wasn't the most pleasant about it, but I wasn't downright rude or aggressive either.
​
Since then we haven't said a word, 28 days later.
​
Am I the asshole for dropping her (at three friends' advices) because she was going to drop me?
|
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}
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RIGHT
|
qhd7MPRtYOuPu9OOawFUBS8Bfobe3tkL
|
ate6mg
|
{
"description": "crying out of line",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for crying out of line?
|
There's a tl:dr; at the bottom, but I feel like you can't judge properly if you don't know the whole story.
So I (M23) have a sister (F21) and two brothers (M18) & (M15). My sister is living on her own as am I, and my brothers are still living at home. But my sister keeps being messy and my parents don't know what to do about her. They messed up earlie and they're all in holes they can't get out of. My sister feels so alone, she feels like she doesn't have a place in our family. She doesn't feel included, and it saddens me when she tells me she's "always the last to know". But growing up, she used to either stay in her room or feel my dad's rage, but like I was like that too, but I'm trying to better things. Like my dad isn't like that anymore, and it's not easy for me to talk to our dad either.
But things between them are still very messy. My sister parties alot, and I know I can't blame her for living for life, because even tho her grades are being messy, I have to trust her to be able to prioritize. We both went to high schools that were hard to get in, so I know she's capable. Everyone else is blaming her for partying and drinking too much. Even my girlfriend "dude, she's drinks on a monday, tuesday and wednesday!" I want to believe she's not failing school because she parties. But that she knows when she has time to party. I know it won't help if her brother keeps telling her to not party, like that's why she never speaks to our parents.
Like formally she's renting a 200.000$ condo our parents own. But having loud parties are annoying surrounding inhabitants and long story short she could be kicked out and my parents could lose all the money they've invested in the condo. She doesn't realise how lucky she is to have parents who support her economically like that is the narrative of our family.
And in my dream it was Christmas and my mom opened a gift from her and it was an old mp3 with probably some nostalgic tunes, but it wasn't even working and my mom got sad, and then she said "look, she doesn't even appreciate the gift. It works, It doesn't always work, but when it works it works." And it just broke my heart and I couldn't hold back the tears. It's 7am here in Germany but I keep reflecting. The whole dream is such an analogy. My sister pointing out my parent's emotional absence. Like they're not seeing the emotional part of her gift but focusing on the economical value of her gift. The gift's poor condition which is representing her popr condition. I never cry, I somehow only cry after I have dreams. The last time was 9 years ago when I lost her in a dream. That I was in line to cry about, but am I for this? I fear I might cry like this in fromt of her when we're both returning home for an event next week.
tl:dr; I had a dream in which my sister did something bad and it hurt our mom, and I cried because the action reflects how she's messing up her life.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
Mg3PLvqo3dVfoYbWwCA0Rh91R1byseZp
|
b8p6el
|
{
"description": "taking the easy way out of a possibly sinking ship",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for taking the easy way out of a possibly sinking ship?
|
I'm currently working at a small company, not for long, somewhere around a year now. The work environment is really nice, I'm quite good friends with almost everyone. Problem is it doesn't pay that good (not that bad either, a little below average) and it's unlikely to change in predictable future. That's not the biggest deal-breaker for me tho. The problem is that company is struggling right now, there are new possible projects, but if they fail (there is a good chance for that) we are screwed. I took that gamble before with another company and it backfired horribly, so I'm not eager to take the risk again.
Recently I got a possible opportunity from a bigger, more stable company with high-ish chance for bigger paycheck.
My dilemma is that if I take it, it will probably ruin some future projects. I'm not THAT important that my leave will instantly collapse the company, but losing 25% of your workforce is going to hurt no matter what. It will inevitably lower the chances of company surviving.
What do you think guys, would I be an asshole to my coworkers if I took the job?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
k5JYG2zBsvOsZjSMEDQ2KtstpLfOOMS8
|
a3ak8l
| null |
AITA for online friend?
|
WIBTA? I have this online friend who is a girl that I've never meet IRL but she's been my friend for about 10 years. I talk to her every now and then and last time I talked to her was 25 days ago then before that about 12 days. She can be very emotionally dependent on me especially now that she's getting a divorce. She has bad depression sometimes and I'll talk to her and maybe play a game online sometimes when she's depressed. She might be moving to another city over from me and my gf thinks that I talk to her too much. O tell her that even if she did have feelings for me I have no feelings for her and not attracted to her whatsoever. She's mostly upset because I sent her a shirtless picture where you could see one side of my chest and barely the side of face but mostly of my dog cuddling me (wasn't sexual or sexy in any way). She says I never send her pictures like that I am just not recently. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
hl0JCei9HBLZsgElfqAVhmOMTZwtOcjn
|
ao3bpa
|
{
"description": "not wanting to help my boyfriend move",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA: am i the asshole if i don't want to help my boyfriend move?
|
Me (F,21) and my S.O (M,23) had been together for almost a year, living together for six months. On the day we had to move out, I had work around 2pm, so we got up earlyish to finish packing. Essentially I had two big bags of clothes and nothing else. My boyfriend has an insanely heavy bed, a big set of drawers, about as tall as I am, two heavy side cabinets, and just a shit ton of tubs full of god knows what. (The large Tupperware kind where you can only carry one at once. )
I spend most of the morning cleaning his drawers because they have mold on them, (we lived in a shitty flat.) While he tries to get rid of useless things in his tubs. He tells me one of his mates are happy to help us move, who is quite strong by the way, so i said great, he can come help us with the big stuff and we can both take down the rest.
S.O says no, heavy stuff first, because we will get tired doing all the little stuff and won't want to do the big stuff and i should just help him. So we go get the trailer and he gets very stressed driving a trailer because there are no brakelights on the trailer. On the way there he's driving quite crazy and fast. He brakes quickly about a meter in front of two school kids while they were walking on a footpath jolting me forwards quite intensely. At this point I'm mad at him for driving recklessly because he can be mad at me but I don't want him killing anyone cause of moving.
We essentially grab the trailer but argue the whole way home. I say I'd still rather his friend did the bed as it's heavy and his friend is kind of a pervert and i don't want him touching bags with my underwear in them. I'm not strong, nor am i strongwilled, so after some debate i just start taking the mattress with him down the stairs to the trailer. After all, I was sleeping on it too, so i think the bed is fair enough. The stairs from our flat to the trailer is very concretey and about 50 steps down. We do the mattress okay, but when we take the bed base down, i trip and it gives me a huge fright. My S.O insists I'm lazy, and trying to get out of helping. At this point its near 1pm and I have work soon, and I start crying from stress. I realize I won't be able to help him at his new place, and he won't care if I'm late for work. We get the bed base down and into the trailer, and then we have to grab a large washing machine.
I say no, i want to take my clothes. He says I'm not trying. I say i never promised I'd help him. He says it's the right thing to do. And I said you can't make me. He says don't make this a consent thing just do it, and this kind of talk goes on and on while I'm crying. Eventually i just grab the side of my clothes bag, and saying please can we just..?
And he slams the lid of the machine shut, making a huge noise, he punches it, goes down the hall, punches the wall, and then slams the door to where our bedroom was. I have about an hour til work, so i grab my stuff and uber to work early. Our friend helps with the rest of the stuff while I'm at work except my clothes are thrown across the floor. Apparently he came out to apologize and when he saw I was gone, he flipped again.
This was months ago, and we've since patched things up but it does mill about in my brain whether I was the asshole he said I was. Also, i found this subreddit a few days ago and fell in love with it. The best ones are where you're not sure who's the asshole. Most people make it sound like their s.o is the asshole for validation however. Not sure if pointing this out makes me an exemption or an example. For context, he was also going through a lot at the time - he has never (bar once) hit or punched anything again in anger.
TLDR: I know a perfect girlfriend would just help. I feel awful for bailing but I did have work. But I gave up earlier than that because I was exhausted and I felt pushed to my limits. I am not very fit. I wish I had the choice. I also feel like if my S.O told me they didn't want to do something, I'd hear out their reasons and not respond aggressively. But it would be frustrating to be abandoned in the middle of a stressful process. I'd love to say I'd done nothing wrong, but I'm not sure. Would love to hear your responses.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
WRONG
|
cIhBCiYo01b51zDcFxGauPGEp9arGTyq
|
azgh12
|
{
"description": "finally speaking my mind to a long term friend who is also going through a shitty time",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for finally speaking my mind to a long term friend who is also going through a shitty time?
|
I honestly dont know how to give the story without giving out too much information. Which is why this is a throwaway.
This started a good maybe 3 years ago when my bff at the time got with a man and things took off way too fast. She blocked nearly 80% of her friend circle during the first year of the relationship because they questioned her decesions. Since then she got the babies she was desperate for, twins. Everything was going decently except for the man she was with was verbally and financially abusive. Moving her from house to house because he couldn't hold down a job, and never helped with the kiddos. I honestly at one point was scared for her life, he was falling off the edge. Myself, her other last friend, and family all begged her to leave him and move back in with her parents, who had the room for them, and welcomed her with open arms. She finally did when they lost the house again. Her man moved in with the family too. He eventually got kicked out of the house for not helping with bills.
I want to say that during their relationship they also cancelled 2 weddings and she found him messaging multiple women during her extremely harsh pregnancy and after the babies were born.
I also want to point out that during this entire thing my s/o was diagnosed with a rare cancer and is still fighting it to this day. It's been 2 years now. She knows this. I'm slowly piecing our lives back together by going back to a full time job.
These past few months have been rough for the both of us. She found out she was pregnant again, same baby daddy. I honestly am so saddened for her. She picked up and moved back with him. Everytime she messages me it's always about her babies (which is fine), her own medical problems (her body is tearing itself up.), or about baby daddy. I have slowly been thinning the chord between us only because I cant stand the same bitching but not seeing her try to get out of the situation she is in. Here's a screenshot of the last conversation we had:
http://imgur.com/gallery/O0MuBmU
I know I probably missed a lot of information and am more than happy to answer questions.
Tl;dr bff and I are both going through life changing events but I dont have the time or energy to be her crutch, especially when she keeps putting herself in these situations and not wanting to better herself.
She blocked me after the conversation posted above.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
hgrLH6UsvZLk0RIDn4HerILmk74qilGy
|
anxq1m
|
{
"description": "breaking a friendship over a holiday disagreement",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for breaking a friendship over a holiday disagreement
|
**TL/DR: I have not spoken to a friend for a year or so because I felt ditched and left out.**
​
I (24F) and my friend (24F) have been friends throughout university and a little bit after that (so maybe 4-5 years in total). We used to be quite close and would support each other through difficult time. The event in question occured maybe 1-2 years after university. She and I lived in different towns at this stage and we agreed that we would spend some time around New Years at her holiday home.
I brought my partner with me (30M) with her consent. She had her family over at that time (so mum, dad, brothers, etc), her partner (24M) and her housemate (24F). Several others were also present but not quite important to the story.
Her holiday home is situated in a beach area. I have mentioned it several times that my partner is not that great at swimming (he can float and take care of himself in shallow water but he is not particularly confident in deep water). No issue arose so off we went to her holiday home.
First day we (me and my partner, along with her and her partner) at the beach, enjoying the hot sun and water (you may now notice that I live in the Southern Hemisphere). It was great and it was fun. She then mentioned that the next day she and her partner would have to pick up her housemate from the airport (as she flew in) and she will be gone at most several hours. Obviously my partner and I felt a bit awkward since we did not know her family very well (but they were extremely kind) but we thought we could spend the second day just sightseeing and going to the beach again just us two. So second day, off she went to pick up her housemate. "Several hours" turned into the whole day - while I was irritated I understood that they might want to stop at several places along the way.
This is the first time I met the housemate - I really tried to talk to her and get to know her but I had a feeling she did not like me very much from the way she brushed me off. I don't want to sound too high-schooly since we were adults but it also felt like she did not like that we were there with my friend (as in, she wanted to be the centre of attention). I am a pretty quiet person so I couldn't care about attention, and I slowly allowed her the limelight because to be honest, I kind of just wanted to spend time with my friend since we haven't seen each other for a while and I did not really care for the competition.
Third day - we all (including her brothers) went to a swimming place (like a creek area not a beach). I let her and her housemate, her brothers, and her partner have fun in the deeper end while I hang out with my partner at the shallower end. We weren't being downers - we laughed at their dives and encouraged them to have their own fun as we were actually enjoying ourselves as well. That night, we were playing cards against humanity and I thought we were all having fun. But maybe sometime during I must have annoyed my friend because she all of the sudden went off to do something else (with her housemate following her) while I continued to play the game with everyone else.
Fourth day - during the morning, my friend came up to me and told me that her, her housemate, and her partner wanted to go on their boat. The conversation goes something like this:
>Her: Hey, we wanted to go on the boat today. Sorry but it can only take 3 people.
>
>Me: Oh ok I guess... so I'm guessing it's just you, \[your housemate\] and \[your partner\]?
>
>Her: Yeah, are you and \[my partner\] have any plans today then? You can totally go to the beach again
>
>Me: I guess we could. I'm sure we will find something we can do.
For some reason, I was extremely angry at this point. I quite literally came all the way down to her place to see her and spend time with her as friends. But I felt ditched and quite frankly if I wanted to just spend time with my partner I WOULD JUST GO WITH HIM ELSEWHERE. It could also be the compouding effect of everything else that happened - feeling left out because of her housemate's attitude, her ditching me on the second day for the whole day, and me feeling quite out of place with her family members (I'm really shy and while I can hold conversations I don't generally like to be with people I don't really know that well). Also just as a background: I always try to make plans with her when she's in my town (she goes often because her partner lives in my town) and she would normally cancel (myriad reasons). This may have also fueled my anger slightly.
She may have ditched me and my partner because of his swimming issue - valid reason but in my mind, I would never ditch someone like that. I would try to actually find activities that we could all do together, but I guess what I would have done in her position is not really that relevant.
I talked with my partner and we decided that we want to go home (it's within driving distance for us). However, I felt bad for her family's hospitality to us (they were really kind and did not charge us for staying with them and fed us) so we bought them an expensive bottle of champagne and some more BBQ type food for everyone as a thank you. I gave these to her mum while my friend was out on the boat, we then gathered our things and we left without saying goodbye to my friend.
She tried calling that night, and I eventually told her that I was back home (I kept it civil, I didn't call her names or even express my anger at her). We have not talked since then (this was 2017-2018 new years), and this has been on my mind a lot lately. I guess I want to know if I'm the person in the wrong for not reaching out because of this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
WRONG
|
G2SHRcfYABWxR632cgzDaMDN8FokQpmD
|
aj9v5r
|
{
"description": "telling my ex we can't be friends anymore now that I have a new gf",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my ex we can't be friends anymore now that I have a new GF?
|
Ex and I met in undergrad and dated for 3 years before breaking up about 1.5 years ago. We remained friends talking every couple of days (hooked up maybe once a month as well) but it was clear that we were not dating anymore which we made clear to our friends and parents. I met a nice girl through a co-worker and we hit it off after a few weeks and I asked her out. The next day I texted my ex that I was seeing my new gf and that we shouldn't talk anymore and she got upset and demanded to know why when we remained friends long after we had broken up. I told her that I didn't want to put my gf through all the BS associated with SO's still talking to their ex'es and causing unnecessary drama regarding trust issues and whatnot, especially since we were friends with benefits. Ex says that she would obviously stop having sex with me when either of us found a new partner but essentially ghosting the other person is an asshole move. I kind of get where she's coming from because you're not really "friends" if it can end abruptly but at the same time I feel like I've heard of too many situations (admittedly a lot from Reddit itself) where ex'es involved in a new relationship just leads to too many trust issues and insecurities. What do you think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
aEBY1w412s1N9XDt1HtA81LheMi2UGep
|
9v4osg
|
{
"description": "feeling gross and not wanting my bf to see me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA Because I feel gross and don’t want my bf to see me?
|
The couple days before my period I break out in horrific cystic acne. My skin is the worst it’s ever been and I feel really insecure. On top of which, I’ve been so busy that I haven’t been working out as much and I haven’t had a chance to shave my legs. I just feel gross.
My bf and I haven’t seen each other in a week and are supposed to hang out tonight. He texted me to tell me how horny he is, but I don’t feel sexy at ALL. Am I an asshole for wanting to cancel at the last minute?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
Vn0DmPQ4KPoGn03f8zxl2fumWdmzz4nY
|
aqsfe8
|
{
"description": "wanting to leave early on a vacation I didn't pay for",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to leave early on a vacation I didn’t pay for?
|
Throwaway because this situation sucks.
One day I randomly mentioned to my Uncle and Aunt that I would love to visit [exotic location] where they live and hang out with them. I said I’d probably only be able to stop by for a day on a cruise. They said 1 day is too short and I should come stay for a couple weeks. They also generously offered to pay for my ticket (money is no concern for them). Internally I was thinking, wow this kind of stuff never happens for me!
So today I fly out, get to their house for the first time ever and it’s a mess. I try not to judge because not everyone wants to be a minimalist but every surface is covered with newspapers, books, papers and miscellaneous broken crap. For example there is a broken under seat suitcase on their coffee table. Wtf. Overall it’s a bit grimy and generally unclean. Lunch is ready on the stove but it’s uncovered with little flies and the stove is covered in bits of old food. I gag a bit and mentally decide to stick salads for the next two weeks. My room is the neatest space, with a few boxes and an overflowing closet.
I spend the day at the beach and come back to their place tonight. As we’re eating dinner a roach runs into the kitchen. They casually continue eating but I jump up out of my seat and start freaking out. They tell me it’s silly that I’m afraid because I’m so much bigger than a roach. Also this is part and parcel of living in [exotic location]. I cringe but continue eating not to be rude. Then while we’re in the living room another roach appears and a mouse runs from under the fridge and starts eating the dogs dinner. I scream and jump up on the couch. They start chuckling that I’m overreacting because there are mice and roaches everywhere. My Uncle feels bad for me and tries to get me to calm down.
I want to leave ASAP but my Uncle is SO happy to have me here and has been telling everyone I came to visit. He would be hurt if I leave early. I have a splitting headache, can’t sleep and I don’t know what to do.
Tl;dr- Uncle and Aunt fly me out to stay at their home in [exotic location] for free. Their house is dirty with roaches and a mouse. I want to GTFO ASAP.
AITA for wanting to leave ASAP?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
oxlFj5ydK4lZgNY4WmFJSL4JFCHQ00Ry
|
afeyl5
|
{
"description": "being upset that my friend doesn't care as much about me as I care about him",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset that my friend doesn't care as much about me as I care about him?
|
So basically I've had this friend for a few years and we used to be really close. I considered him one of my best friends, and to this day I feel fairly confident that I was on the higher end of his friend list also.
Fast forward to early last year and he suddenly basically cuts me off. Doesn't try to talk to me in school, won't text me, and only answers my texts in short replies. This lasted for a year and I had no idea wtf I ever did to make him treat me this way. There was no fight, I didn't remember doing anything wrong, and I didn't even feel right confronting him because I tried to chalk it up to "I guess people drift apart???" Even though I felt that wasn't what happened. To be honest, this fucked me up mentally because I kept going back and forth blaming myself and trying to figure out what I ever did to deserve it, until eventually my therapist convinced me to confront him. I did, and his reasoning was a bunch of vague stuff and then he said he felt bad because he used me to cover up his sexuality and homework answers? (The bisexuality thing was us fake dating with no false ideas going on on either side. The only thing I had a false impression of was that I thought he was out of the closet already and he said he was trying to get a girl to stop pursuing him. I give all my friends homework answers so there was literally no reason for him to feel bad. Idk). Anyway he says he wants to be friends again and I say yeah sure.
This is where I question AITA because I basically expected everything to go back to the way things were. And they sort of almost did, but I've realized it was because I was doing everything to act that way. I would text him, invite him to events, initiate pretty much all the interactions. He approached me first on 2 occasions. Once, ironically, for homework answers, and once to accept some money I offered him (both of these were my suggestions, so he's not a jerk for accepting by any means). Other than that, it's all been me. I confronted him again on how sketchy this seems, and his excuse was that he just "doesn't text" and "doesn't see me much" (we have 1 class and a free period together). I realize I have expectations of him when I shouldn't, but at the end of the day I see how he acts with the friends he cares about. He hugs them, invites them to do stuff, and generally gives a shit about them. And that's how he used to act with me but not anymore. AITA for expecting the same level of friendship as before? For expecting to be treated like his current friends?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
b8iQVhfqQ1fQPB85RzWuSOLuoBYZVLU8
|
b8nm9s
|
{
"description": "holding Amazon accountable for delivering to my door",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for holding Amazon accountable for delivering to my door?
|
Long story short, Amazon has started using Amazon Logistics to deliver packages in my area. I live on the third floor of a sprawling apartment complex which pretty much means its about a 1 in 10 chance that the Amazon Logistics driver follows the delivery instructions and leaves my packages to my enclosed front door. The other 9 in 10 times they deliver my packages to "reception" or "mail room" about a block away. I get why they do this, it's obviously much easier to deliver the 10 or so packages that my apartment complex receives in a given day to a central location than it is to follow delivery instructions. However, as someone who works longer hours than what the reception is open for, it often means it is often 4+ days until I can pick up the package from the reception if it gets delivered there. I understand there are Amazon Lockers where you can pick items up but not everything I order is eligible to be shipped to one (they have size and weight restrictions) and I don't drive directly past one of my way to work. The closest one would add about a 5-minute detour to my commute. UPS and FedEx can manage to deliver packages to my door (often because they are forced to because they deliver the packages after the reception closes). USPS has always been lazy and delivered them to reception.
I have asked Amazon nicely 3 times to ensure my delivery address contains instructions to deliver to my door and Amazon has confirmed that it does. Amazon Logistics has confirmed their drivers are receiving the instructions and "clicking through them according to the timestamps." AITA for expecting Amazon to honor the instructions given to them at the time of purchase and requesting compensation when they are wilfully ignored? I have got the customer service dance down to a well-rehearsed 4-minute routine which is quicker and more financially beneficial than using a locker.
Here's a history of my recent orders and compensation:
* 4/1 $7.61 order with a full refund
* 3/29 $11.99 order with $15 credit
* 3/23 $59.97 order delivered to a different address with no problem
* 3/23 $35.20 order with a full refund
* 3/17 $10.99 order with a full refund
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
BB6zFo5rNRre8cd8IhI3VyEXgDuyDDBA
|
anzd65
|
{
"description": "sending my friend a present for Valentine's day",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I sent my friend a present for Valentine's Day?
|
I (25f) have a friend (24m) who is having a real rough time romantically and financially right now. He won't take me up on any offers to lend him money, and the dates I've set him up on haven't gone anywhere.
He has been single for several years so Valentine's is hard for him. To make the day less shitty, I am considering having chocolate covered strawberries sent to his office anonymously. I really don't want to put my name on them because I don't want him to think I'm coming onto him. However, my concern is that doing it anonymously will get his hopes up and make it worse. He is very handsome with a good job so he definitely should have women into him, but I think his confidence is too low to realize.
So WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
d0zZFw8ChqnKbEFxWRybUhIE1Zo2JfOs
|
acy6u8
|
{
"description": "being sketched out over a seemingly sketchy post",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being sketched out over a seemingly sketchy post?
|
[Send me a minimum of $55 for a box of mystery items](https://imgur.com/gallery/OvM8hXy) but I can’t tell you what those items are and you can’t discuss the items with other buyers. I understand me posting “tf is this?” Was shitty and I’ll own up to that but otherwise AITA? I’m red btw.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
aoqkje
|
{
"description": "getting upset with my gf when I try to accommodate her",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset with my gf when i try to accommodate her?
|
A bit long, TLDR at the bottom.
A little bit of context, I am a very straight forward person who says what I mean without second thoughts (so essentially filterless - I know this is a problem and I actively work on biting my tongue). Regardless, my gf is a self-prescribed “people pleaser” except is seems to me that she just constantly tries to go the path of least resistance.
So lately my gf will do things that if reciprocated I feel would highly offend her. The latest example happened recently.
I had a friend and his gf coming into town and we talked about all of us hanging out. The day before my friend comes into town she tells me her friend from out of town is coming in and that she wants to spend time with her and their hs friends, nbd. But my gf says that they are planning on going to a bar near where I live and I say that I’ll see if I can convince my friend and his gf to go. At first they don’t want to but after a few drinks they’re down for a night out so I tell my gf we’re going to the bar they’ll be at.
I told her we got to the bar and were hanging out waiting for her and her friends. After a while, she tells me that she can’t come because her friends don’t want to go to the bar (she told me in the first place it was her friends idea to go to the bar I was at) and that she couldn’t possibly convince a whole group to go to the bar they were originally planning on going to.
She showed up for a few minutes later but promptly left because of her friends.
I was happy she came, but also upset that this is a continuing pattern.
AITA for wanting my gf to keep her word/spend time with me when she says she will?
TLDR; GF seems to have trouble keeping her word with me and it feels like she doesn’t prioritize our relationship based on her actions of having no backbone to tell her friends she wants to be with her bf.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
H4py3oZTnvldugvwtTcZubN44Q0cEyi5
|
b1z839
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to a saint Patrick day festival I invited my dad to",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to a saint Patrick day festival I invited my dad to?
|
I asked my dad if he wanted to come to a festival as we have a hard time connecting although we live in the same house, at first he said yes but had to see if his girlfriend would let him. I immediately wanted to cancel as I felt like it should’ve been an obvious yes. I can definitely see how I’m being selfish as his girlfriend just got back in town but am I the asshole if I say I don’t want to go with him and his girlfriend?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
gD117LRhyGqm7aFXQHeYLWufoupeUfvX
|
algyaa
| null |
AITA For This Fight?
|
Sure you can start by saying that either one of us started the fight, but i believe he started it and he believes I started it, so lets start from the beginning.
This was a few months ago so I've had some time to cool down, but I still get crap about it on the daily since I could never tell anyone my side of the story since my parents are very "everyone will forget, don't worry about it". So this was in a gym class during a basketball round robin tournament, and we were facing a bully of mine I'll call him Kevin, this sophomore that is mentally handicapped (MHK). and this other guy that I do not remember. But this is where everything went wrong. The (MHK) was tugging on the back of my shirt since I had the ball and I dont blame him, although it was starting to choke me, but he probably didn't know any better. So I put my elbows up and turned left and right like I was taught to do when I played basketball. The (MHK) let go so I could breathe a lot easier, or so I thought I would be able to, but Kevin came out of nowhere and sprinted and checked me. I hit the hard ground, with my head, then my elbows and tailbone, all had to be iced later. I got up and threw the basketball at kevin and he then punched me in the face I threw a punch at his chest and he socked me in the face again, leaving one bruise under my eye and one on my nose, I couldnt wear my glasses comfortably for a week. Both him and I were stunned, him for me fighting back, me for getting hit. The teacher broke it up and I went to the nurse, everything after that is just talking to the principal and both of us getting suspended for 5 days, me in 3 out 2, him I couldn't tell you which one and how long.
TL;DR I felt like I was being choked so i tried to get a mentally handicapped kid off of me and then I got my ass handed to me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
CSfaHoNHPBR0Uu5hM9ots2qJzYhXwrZE
|
arf5rg
|
{
"description": "not believing suspicious roomate didn't steal",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not believing suspicious roomate didn’t steal?
|
So sorry in advance, this post will probably get pretty long.
Y sus roommate
J my roommate that is my friend
S cool roommates girlfriend
I live in an apartment with two other guys. (Y and J) We all have our own room/bathroom but share a living room and kitchen area.
Y is of legal age to buy alcohol so occasionally J and I will ask him to pick up some items for us. Y is always down to do it and we usually try to find a way to compensate him. This all goes well until one day J decides to let Y use a whole foods gift card to buy alcohol, this is where things get complicated. I was not present for when things went down and only know what happened through what I’ve been told by both Y and J.
From my understanding, J and Y arrive at whole foods with J’s girlfriend (S) in her car. Y goes inside and buys all the booze with the gift card. They come back to the apartment and realize the card is missing.
This card is the main source of J’s food money and had 3 or 4 hundred dollars on it.
Y says that he handed the card to someone in the car but J and S both disagree. From what we know, the card had to have been used in the store, so this means it would have 1) been left in the store 2) dropped between the store and the car 3) dropped in S’s car or 4) someone held onto it.
1 the store was called and the card was never found
2 he was holding a lot of stuff he had just purchased in his hands so i feel like the natural thing to do would be minimize the things carried. Putting away phone, wallet, valuable gift card... my guess is it ended up in his pocket
3 J and S tore up the car looking for the card and were unsuccessful
and before anything is said about S taking it, J and I both know her well and agree that it wouldn’t be like her to do something like that
4 i hate that this seems the most logical but i feel like he was the one in most control of the card
Nothing really came of this because J and I really don’t want to just accuse him without any real evidence. He hangs out with people who steal and has been stolen from by a methed out “friend” but I don’t believe that’s in any way a reason to believe he would.
Months had gone by but last night Y and I had a few too many together and I told him about J and I’s suspicions. This led to him constantly saying how he would never and that he has always been good with recipts, which is great and J and I both really appreciate it! But that doesn’t excuse the circumstances of this specific event. He kept trying to get me to tell him how much was on the card, which I obviously lied and said I didn’t know. After that he was talking to me about how he couldn’t afford it now but wanted to set up a way to start paying him back for the money he lost on the card. This sounds great but it only raises my suspicion! I could be overthinking this but it seems like a guilty conscience to me. He probably had no idea how much was on there. I honestly don’t know that if he had taken it he would actually admit it.
I know this isnt my business directly but i would really like to know if someone i live with is okay with stealing from other roommates.
Bottom line is, i still don’t believe him.
Thank you for reading my rant, more than anything im confused but id love to get input
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
r24JngpGOXfLkyQbX7SBSexNHT4dJ94P
|
ahyid9
|
{
"description": "trying to break into my neighbours yard",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for trying to break into my neighbours yard
|
AITA for wanting to get to the bottom of what has happened.
My 10 year old sister recently got two rabbits about 2 months ago and has been obsessed with them. About a week ago I was home alone (I’m a 16 year old male) when my neighbour knocked on the door and asked me to come with her in an almost annoyed tone. Her dog which poops in our yard regularly had killed one of her rabbits. She said that her dog had brought it to her and that she would buy a new one but she didn’t apologise or even seem upset or at least sorry about it.
It’s worth noting that this woman and her husband are very weird people . When my family first moved into our house the first interaction my dad had with them was was watching their dog take a dump in the middle of the street where we live, asking the woman if she was going to pick it up, and her responding by saying it wasn’t her dog after they both had just seen it happen.
So just today my family got back from a overnight stay at a family friends house and found out that the other rabbit gone missing. The strange thing about it was that there was no holes or anyway that the rabbit could of got out of its fenced in area and when this rabbit has escaped in the past it has always stayed in our yard. We also found more dog poop in our yard.
My theory is that her dog killed this rabbit and she found out but it was to awkward for her to tell us so she basically hid the rabbits body from us.
So at about midnight tonight It was driving me insane (my little sister was crushed) so I went over to her house and jumped the fence into her backyard to go check her bins for the rabbit (when her dog killed the first rabbit she said she would chuck it away until I told her not to because I knew my sister would want to bury it next to our old dog). I successfully got into their backyard and was about to hop down from a high ledge I was on when their dog woke up and started growling and barking at me. I jumped back over the fence before it attacked me.
So am I the asshole for trespassing or is it justified since all the evidence suggests that it was the same people.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
qj7XWqRPISgXvX7rM5yg51JBBiA7Qkwv
|
af68xm
|
{
"description": "having more people over on girls night",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for having more people over on girls night?
|
I haven’t seen my best friends in a little over a month. I asked them if they wanted to stay in our go out bar hopping to meet up with people. Like typical girls they say “up to you” and I said Idc just tell me. Overall they say no. We watch a movie and they pass out while I’m still awake and bored. Initially I wanted to go out to the bar. They wake up out of mid sleep and I ask them if it’s okay if people come over to hangout. This is 1:30 am. They said yeah sure idc. I said are you sure you don’t mind ? They said sure we’ll just go in the bedroom. My friends are sleepy so they both go in my bedroom and don’t sleep at all. Awake and not saying hi to anyone, being secluded from everyone else. I asked if they wanted to come hangout since they can’t sleep and they say no. We were being loud In the living room and smoking. (They are against smoking) After maybe 30 min they decide to leave my apt. I tried to keep the party going between two friend groups but it didn’t work out. I feel really bad because the people that came over were loud. They couldn’t rest and they didn’t want to hangout and drink. Am I the asshole for allowing more people to come over ? I didn’t intend for it to happen like this but I feel bad and idk if I should apologize or not. When they left they didn’t seem upset they were obviously uncomfortable. What should I do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
cMiX6qAN8J51kIs8GsDpMmoa7Do4PwPM
|
b64vzl
|
{
"description": "speaking to the district manager about my personal situation",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for speaking to the district manager about my personal situation.
|
All my managers are panicked for having the regional manager coming for an inspection. It’s a pretty big deal. Deep down I know I shouldn’t bother someone higher up with my issues but I’m at a point where this is my only other option.
My contract finishes at the end of the month and my managers want to rehire me, but they can’t help me with my visa situation.
All I want to tell him is my situation, why I need his help and if I can get an interview with someone to show them my portfolio.
I know if I continue to work with the company, it might alienate me from my managers (if they do catch wind of this) because they see him as a god of sorts and that I shouldn’t bother him with such trivial things.
On the other hand, I have nothing to loose, I will missed my chance to hear a yes or no awnser. If I don’t ask, things will be exactly that same and will still be the same outcome of hearing a no. I go back to my home county and never see anyone again.
Am I being an asshole for putting him on the spot? I just love this job and want to continue.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
mnfoGZiKLgAGU0h0QkRcGY32B6pQEOoz
|
b5wi7a
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my mum for not giving me reasons why I can't do stuff",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my mum for not giving me reasons why I can't do stuff?
|
I usually ask my mum if I can train for basketball by going up to the courts because I really wanna get good before the season starts. Anyways she usually says 'no', I ask why and she says 'cuz I said so' and I get pretty pissed at the lack of reason, and it always ends up into fights and arguments.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
vI7pA36blWwgZA0QYcHjiCD30m3FbDTM
|
ajnk1z
|
{
"description": "ignoring/excluding my classmate",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ignoring/excluding my classmate
|
It has been a whole academic year and everyone in the class has formed their own cliques.
This classmate of mine isn't part of the main three cliques in the class and he always follows me around in an attempt to fit in.
BUT he's really "extra" in a sense that he says things at awkward timings and butts into conversations that are not involving him.
He doesn't really have the social awareness(?) and can sometimes say things that can come of as demeaning I.e he's really insensitive
For eg of the times he talks about sexual stuff and about how easy it is to get a girl etc. To girls when they're clearly not feeling it.
But.....
I just found out that he's an orphan and was adopted into another family. Maybe his upbringing caused him to be like this? It's not his fault...?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
9IYoQpj3iDj8RxpEDTcCdpKSVKwnWDz0
|
b2najl
|
{
"description": "making my Sister clean up my Mother's Poop",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For Making My Sister Clean Up My Mother's Poop?
|
This happened a few years ago.
After my father died of cancer (diagnosed and death all within 5 months), my mother went straight downhill. They were married for almost 50 years so they were always devoted to each other.
My mother started forgetting easy things within a few months of his death. Could no longer write cheques to pay bills. Could no longer drive. She fell into a deep depression where she would literally sit in the same easy chair all day and evenings. I know because I was taking my kids over to visit her almost every day during that first year. It got to the point where she smelled like ass and I mean BADLY!
My sister (I have 2) lived in the other part of the country so she had no idea what was happening other than the fact my other sister and I kept her up to date on our mother's degrading mental situation. But for some reason, I consider it human nature, she never really absorbed what we were telling her. She seemed to think we were making a bit of it up, that our mother wasn't as bad as we were making it sound.
So one day she finally comes to visit my mother. She was in a non-care home because she couldn't live alone anymore. I mean non-care in the sense that my mother still had to do some every day things but didn't have to cook or wash clothes. That was all taken care of for her.
I also have to say during this time my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.
Anyways, my sister comes to town and I take her to visit our mother. My mother doesn't recognize my sister since she hasn't been around to visit. She came to our father's funeral but it was quite a few years that she's been around.
So my mother says she has to go to the washroom. My sister seems to think "if she can go to the bathroom then her mind isn't as bad as my family has been telling me". And she says it out loud to me.
Long story short, my mother didn't raise the lid and sat down directly onto the lid. She proceeded to take a massive shit while sitting down.
My sister finally goes into the bathroom to see what's taking so long and comes to tell me what our mother did.
I kind of laughed and told her she had to clean up our mother and the toilet seat since she thought my sister and I were exaggerating to her for the past while.
I have to say my sister took it well and did what she was asked. She also told me she should have believed us when we told her how bad our mother went downhill.
I ask AITA because I could have easily helped her clean up our mother but didn't out of anger and spite.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
E2rqC3nMlJ8LzHkNfFHIvdPIILyzSatl
|
b9wk69
|
{
"description": "getting my piggy packed on my MOH's bridesmaids gifts for mine since we share some 'maids",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I got my piggy packed on my MOH’s bridesmaids gifts for mine since we share some ‘maids?
|
So confusing title sorry, but I am getting married in October, I’ve been engaged for 2 years now and have been planning for my bridesmaids robes for getting ready because cute photos and blah blah blah.
My best friend and co MoH (she shares the title with my sister because my sister is 2,000 miles away so they are splitting the responsibilities) is getting married in June, she got engaged last December. We are both in each other’s wedding parties and we share 2 bridesmaids. She informed me she is also doing the robe thing because that’s what everyone does. It’s cute and something they can reuse.
However I’ve talked to one of our joint bridesmaids and she said she has no need for two robes. So I am thinking about asking the other bride if I can just get the same robes for her and my sister so the other two can just reuse those. Obviously I’ll get them other bridesmaids gift, champagne glasses with their names or something otherwise equal cute and photographable (just trying to be transparent). I’m having them pick their own dresses in the color that matches the scheme so they can rewear the dress since they are paying for them (something I cleared with them when I asked them and they are all so fine with) so I want to get them something!
Would I be an asshole or even tacky if I did this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
C3a7OLTyYTOELYzicZTasScnjIc1tsUR
|
ax8uep
| null |
AITA - Angry at scam but perhaps overreacted
|
OK, so I live in southeast asia but am an expat. The other day we went to a place that gets a mix of tourists and locals. When it was time to go home, kids are tired and grumpy and it's getting late. The only taxi area we could find has a line leading up to a table and then a line after the table that goes to the cabs.
We get in the line and a kind of "pre-checker" asks us where we are going, and I tell him. He asks if we want set price or meter and I say meter. He waves us past the desk and to the cab line. So we pass the desk (where there are 2 people, one of whom we had to kind of shimmy past, so no way he didn't notice my extended family of 4 adults and 2 kids). Then we finally get to the front of the line and a taxi pulls up and the 2 employees at the front ask for our "ticket." I say we don't have one, and they point back to the table and say we have to get one. (They wave 2 taxis on, empty, during this time) . I am angry and frustrated and yell at one of the front employees that their OWN employee waved us through. They are unmoved. So I say "what a fucking scam." One of the front employees is a young-ish woman and she says (although I don't remember it, my wife tells me) "why do you have to say that word?" and apparently "looked sad."
My wife says I was being an asshole. I maintain that it IS a fucking scam, that she's not a child and knows it's a scam (i.e. being charged money for them to write down where you want to go - which I am perfectly capable of telling the cab driver - to give it to a cab driver who does all the work and gatekeeping who gets a cab), and that she has certainly been told that and worse. And that even if you see it as a legit business, then their own guy told us to bypass the desk and their own desk employee knew we were not paying, so fair game.
So which is it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
HkOQwjfAewAwaAcufHGH7uMhvSafINer
|
b8bv3j
|
{
"description": "not wanting to learn how to drive",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting to learn how to drive?
|
So, for many, many years I've been avoiding driving, but now I'm twenty three, and I have a wife who drives me around, and a newborn son. But it goes deeper than that.
I have a lazy eye, which pretty much cuts off 85% of my vision on the right side, while even my "good" eye is pretty shitty. Besides that I just have really bad, diagnosed anxiety, so I tend to over-hype menial things in my brain. Because of these, I've always just been iffy on driving.
In addition to that, any time I've asked my parents, or my siblings to help teach me, they always give me false promises, and then just kind of don't follow through. And then they want me to go and pay 300 dollars for driving school, which would be fine if I had that much money just laying around. The real kicker is that it's always my family demanding I learn to drive anyway.
So, I kind of just don't really want to learn to drive anymore because if I'm being honest I'm just not totally comfortable with it, and no one seems to really want to help me learn, despite everyone else constantly judging me about it.
(I'm sorry if this is jumbled or weird, I'm just kind of frustrated after a fun round of my family shitting on me for not being able to drive.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
te9TJrulL2t1rvM7g2ivAkbp5lNZiDiW
|
ao65m7
|
{
"description": "not liking the engagement ring",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for not liking the engagement ring?
|
Well this is my very first reddit post and I’m on mobile so I apologize for any formatting issues.
My boyfriend(23m) and I(23f) have been together for seven months now. We both know we are meant to be with each other and we both know we are going to get married one day. He’s my best friend and a truly wonderful and kind man.
Well last night we got on the topic of engagement rings. I know I can be picky when it comes to jewelry and I think that if I want something specific then I should communicate that. So I told him that I like 3 stone rings in a simple classic setting, round or oval cut, and jokingly said, “and if the stone ain’t a carat, i don’t want it.” 100% joking with him. I also mentioned I really don’t like marquise cut diamond rings. I don’t care about brands and I like getting the most bang for my buck so I told him if he wants to get it from a pawn shop or used or whatever is most financially feasible then that’s fine with me. I just want a certain style and quality. Then I remembered that his grandmother had offered to let him pick one of her extra rings for me (so sweet) when he’s ready to propose. So I told him I think he should take advantage of a free diamond ring and take her up on the offer.
Now the engagement ring that she wears is a massive marquise cut rock set in a pretty typical 70’s retro setting. It’s not my style at all. So I told him that he should just pick the ring with the largest diamond and if I didn’t like the cut or setting we could always have that redone because it’s cheaper than buying a new diamond ring.
Well he got very offended. Lo and behold he clarified that his grandmother had actually offered him one specific ring, not a choice of multiple rings, and guess what...it’s a 3 stone marquise...and i just told him I don’t like marquise diamonds. He felt like I had, “shit all over the ring” but I didn’t mean to! He said I was acting ungrateful because his grandmother is offering us a gift and that he understands there’s a “social status” component to engagement rings but essentially I’m acting like anything less than what I want is unacceptable.
I really tried to broach the subject with clear communication. If he proposed to me with nothing but a flower I would say yes in a heartbeat. Marriage isn’t about the ring and I could give a shit about any social status crap. I would just like the ring I’m going to wear for literally the rest of my life to be something I like and I feel like I should be able to tell him what my style is. The fact that I accidentally insulted the ring his grandmother offered was a big oops but what if I don’t like it? Am I supposed to pretend that I like it because it’s a gift from her?
Like I said, I love him so much and I feel bad that I hurt his feelings. If I am genuinely in the wrong then I want to make amends and learn from it. So I’m asking y’all, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
RIGHT
|
1abIPJ6D9aBjv6tB1OO6n84j1r7yHVue
|
ayx76h
|
{
"description": "being honest about inviting a friend to a party",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being honest about inviting a friend to a party?
|
Recently I introduced a friend (Sam) of mine to a wider friend group. Sam is much older than us and very much a showman/dominant personality and likes to be centre of attention and win people over. People either love him (usually quieter people) or hate him (other louder people). I genuinely like him one on one (when it feels like we're being honest with each other) but I'm realising I can't be around him in a group situation for longer than a couple of hours without finding him exhausting. When I first met him, I considered him charming but now that's worn off, I find him quite insincerely and manipulative at times. I do understand why other new people immediately take a shine to him but it makes me uneasy watching him play the room.
So one of my other friends took a shine to him when they met, so much that (after a couple of hours) he asked us privately on the group WhatsApp chat if anyone would mind if he invited Sam to the birthday event planned this weekend.
I replied honestly and said that I did because whilst he was a friend, I found him a bit much. And that it was his call but I'd probably skip it if he came (seriously, I know I wouldn't enjoy the evening at all). Friend was fine about that and nothing more was said & the question deleted.
I have discussed with Sam before about maybe giving people a bit more of a chance to speak in groups, and did again this evening but was told that was 'my opinion' - which it is, but also makes me pretty certain that I don't want this person permanently embedded in my friendship group if I can help it.
So.. am I the asshole? (I'm mainly curious at what people think. Whether I am or not, I'll own it; I feel relieved for having spoken up)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
y4MQGoUEwjs80P4ZdU7fRuIbsYuxiEkG
|
b1wo6j
|
{
"description": "wanting to go back to uni and needing to take a back seat on bills",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to go back to uni and needing to take a back seat on bills?
|
So I'm going to try and give all of the facts, I want this to be unbiased!
I own the flat my partner (of 3 years) and I live in as I bought it before we got together. (There is a mortgage but I own a fair chunk and it has gained c£55,000 value since I bought it 4 years ago)
Recently I've felt like I missed out on my childhood dream of becoming a vet because I wasn't emotionally ready to go to uni as I suffered from anxiety.
I broached the subject with my partner and asked if he would be willing to help out with more household bills if I were to go back to uni, and he flipped out on me saying that was selfish.
I want to add that I would be working part time and would be paying some house bills, just perhaps not 50/50 as we have it now... I also suggested that I would sign over some of the ownership so that he wouldn't feel like he was putting money in and getting nothing out.
He said that I couldn't ask someone to do that for me as it was too much, and that's something only a married person would be willing to do. This made me think he's not invested in our relationship and doesnt care much about my dreams!
Considering before moving in with me he was renting and that's paying someone else's mortgage with no gain, I don't see how doing it for someone you love is worse?
Also for bonus lols... He said it would stop him retiring in his 30s like he planned!
Am I in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
L7KsRHf2Asp4foeOMMVmW1mJ1wFyLnK3
|
anlws9
|
{
"description": "thinking my best friend is annoying",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking my best friend is annoying?
|
Me and my friend met about 2 years ago, around the time my dad passed away. He helped me get through it, and we hang(ed) out all the time. As time passed, I noticed him copying some of the things I do, and him doing some odd things behind my back. An example of this is when I put my glasses on him as a joke, and (jokingly) said that they looked good on him. After that, he started taking pictures with his dad’s glasses, even though he doesn’t ACTUALLY need them. That one joke became a huge thing for him, and it makes me feel kinda weird that he took it so far.
Another example is when I started boxing again. Sometimes I would tell him how my training or sparring was, what my coach was like, etc., and one day out of the blue he just says “I think I’m gonna do boxing.” I supported it, as it seemed like something for him to do. It was only until recently that I realized he did this with EVERYTHING I talk about. The first week we met, he heard me talking to my SO about drumming, and then a couple days later he says “I just bought a drumset, can you teach me?”
That’s the gist of the “copying” thing, moving on. Another issue I’ve encountered is how he’ll agree with me on EVERYTHING, and sometimes I point it out. Within a day or two, he begins to counter every opinion I have, no matter how small. Then when I ask about it, he always just responds “I don’t know.” Most times I just apologize and move on. Recently, he’s doing some very odd things that out of everything send up red flags. We’ll be walking in the park talking, and during a conversation he’ll walk behind me and just stay there for a full 15 minutes before I turn around to make sure he’s still there. Everytime I do, he just quickly shifts his eyes to the ground.
He’s just been making me really uncomfortable recently.
I feel really petty about all of this, but it’s been happening more and more now and it’s beginning to interfere with our friendship. Idk if it’s just me.
AITA?
TL;DR: My friend copies me, and acts really strangely around me, and it’s been bothering me recently
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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