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9uumw1
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{
"description": "being pissed that my husband is late meeting me at the airport",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being pissed that my husband is late meeting me at the airport?
|
So I’m at the airport bar drinking a little just as a pre-text.
My husband had extra vacation hours that were set to expire by the end of the year. He works in accounting so this week was the best week for him to take off. Unfortunately I could only take today until Monday off, and I’ve been away from our home for the last three weeks so we both miss each other quite a bit. But I encouraged him to go down to a popular city where his family lives and would be a layover for us anyway. I planned it, bought the tickets and everything. So he was here from Saturday until now, and I just landed a few hours ago.
He hasn’t even dropped off his car at the rental yet. The city we’re in has pretty terrible traffic but I was sort of hoping he had the time management to sort of predict that you know? He was talking up getting some dinner and drinks before our flight out and I’m just a little disappointed that it’s probably not going to happen because he is pretty late. He didn’t even really think about clearing security :( It is a domestic flight and I know he might have been hanging out with his cousin, but it just sort of stings that I planned this whole vacation (plus his vacation away from me) and he is now just texting me if I already got his boarding ticket for him.
TLDR; planned vacation for husband and I where husband is already in city and I had to fly down to city as layover. AITA for expecting him to already be here or at least have thought about the obstacles it took to be here when I land?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "being awkward at a cafe",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being awkward at a cafe?
|
Sorry if wrong sub, I'm not sure where this goes.
There's this coffee shop I've been walking by every now and then nearby where I live, but it seems kind of fancy and I'm not really a well-put-together-looking guy. Yesterday it was time to just stop fretting about it and go in and get somethin. I was super nervous going in, and I said hi to the guy at the counter and asked them what kind of coffee they had, and he went and listed all the types and ended with "and then there's just the regular coffee". I didn't really understand the other types he was saying so I just asked for a regular.
When I pull out cash to pay (the total we just over the dollar mark), then he says he doesn't have any change and goes off for a few minutes. When he comes back I come back to the register and don't really know what to say while he takes like 30 seconds making like 99 cents change, even pulling some coins out of the tip jar. I felt like a huge asshole. Then he kind of gives me a stink eye and starts coughing as he walks away.
I have no idea why, but I feel like I wasn't nice enough somehow and made them uncomfortable. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
ae2tfb
|
{
"description": "wanting to leave the past in the past",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to leave the past in the past?
|
So for someone reason when I typed the full version of this story the entire post got deleted (yay) so here’s a shortened down version
So a few months ago I told friends some personal stuff and then some guy forwarded it to literally everyone he knows
I constantly got messages telling me i was gay and that I should die.
The guy who forwarded the messages had been such a dick to me in the past that I literally could not take it anymore.
What I did here was wrong. I am NOT denying that. I flipped out and called him a retarded cunt.
A couple of days later I was still pissed at him but then one of my friends said “both of you stop” which I did
Then a couple more days later he spams forwarding the messages I sent to him (the ones I regret). Like it was literally spamming them about 50 times a second no joke
Eventually someone told him “_____ FUCKING STOP” to which he complied
We agreed to quit talking about it which I did. However he still brings it up even today.
I agreed to just forget about it but he will not let go of it.
Every time I tell him to stop going on about it he calls me a “triggered libtard”
I am not denying that what I said was wrong. I just want to know if I am in the right for wanting to forget about it
I will admit that what I did previously was being an asshole so please only judge the second part
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b55ba3
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{
"description": "not going to my best friends baby shower, after he invited me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA - If I didn't go to my best friends baby shower, after he invited me.
|
So here's the situation, I haven't seen my friend for well over 10 (because of distance) years and he decided to invite me to his baby shower. I just recently moved kind of closer to him, so heading to it wouldn't be an issue. The problem I'm having is that if I did go, I wouldn't be able to be myself because my friend does a total 180 when he's with his wife.
His wife is the type of person he has to hide his hobbies from and if I bring it up or go into detail, it might cause problems in their relationship. Our hobbies include video games, anime, MMO's, and various japanese things. Though his wife is strictly against them and they argue a lot about it. (Just a little back story about my friends situation)
Also, there's the fact that he told me that his gf would throw a fit / not like me if I didn't bring a gift. Money isn't really an issue and I know you're supposed to bring gifts for such an occasion, but to outright say she wouldn't like me if I didn't bring "x gift" sounds kind of a rude thing to say.
Part of the reason is that the anxiety of being around a bunch of people I don't know (mainly her family) and with her attitude, will cause uncomfortable situation.
What's eating away at me though is he considers me family and I do as well, but if we can't be natural with one another, is it worth putting us in such a situation? I feel the repercussions of me not showing up might be more light, than if something happened at the event and I caused discourse by bringing up a memory from the past (like an event or something, that he didn't tell his wife).
So in summary AITA for not going and just saying that I am unable to make it? (I'd still send a gift, it just wouldn't be in person).
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
DFF1Z9L1fqRdpy4q44VEO7mOFHTHUgmZ
|
axc46w
|
{
"description": "giving my so an ultimatum",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for giving my SO an ultimatum?
|
I’ll post this on r/relationshipadvice, but want to make sure that I’m not just being an asshole first.
I (34f) have been with my SO (45m) for 8 years, and we’re best friends. We do everything together, have all the same interests, and have so many reasons to stay together. But we’re getting older. Getting older is expensive. Retirement and healthcare costs are going to start coming in. I have a tenured job, healthcare, and retirement, so I’m pretty set for my future. But he’s not. He has a high school education has been working since he was 13, but has no savings, retirement, healthcare, or opportunity to move up in his job. While the romantic side of society says that money doesn’t matter when it comes to love… as we’re getting older I’m having more and more anxiety about our future together. He can be added to my healthcare, but I’ll be paying the deductible, I won’t be able to afford his retirement, and I’m not willing to carry both of us the rest of our lives. We already live right above the poverty line, and it’s damn exhausting to keep our heads above water. I don’t want to live like this for the rest of my life, but I also don’t want to lose my best friend. He has made multiple promises to find something more stable, but in 6 years nothing has happened.
AITA if I give him the expectation that if he doesn’t get a sustainable job - including healthcare, benefits, and retirement- that I need to go?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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{
"description": "being friends with someone until we go to a mutual friend's wedding then ghosting",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA for being friends with someone until we go to a mutual friend’s wedding then ghosting?
|
I’ve known this girl, let’s call her Sally, for about 3 years now. She used to live close to me but moved to another state for a job, but we text everyday. Throughout this time she’s graduated with a doctoral degree, went through a residency, got a job, etc. Also through all of this she has complained, incessantly, about anything and everything. She hated her residency, she hates her job, etc. I complain about my own job, too, so I can understand, but it was honestly all day, everyday.
Recently, she had a baby with a guy she knew for about 2-3 months? Since she got pregnant and had the baby, the complaining has gotten 10x worse, and it’s harder to hold my tongue. She doesn’t like something the baby daddy did, she doesn’t like his family, etc. She’s sent me video of her family fighting with the baby screaming in the background. It’s just exhausting because I’m expected to give emotional support and advice what seems like 24 hours a day. If I have any sort of issue that I complain about, she brushes it off.
Anyway, onto the wedding thing. We’re going to a mutual friend’s wedding in May and I feel like I have to continue to be civil until then, because I don’t want to ruin said friend’s wedding with any awkwardness. I just really want to end the friendship, but have no idea what to do since I have to see her in person soon. Would I be the asshole if I just kept things civil then cut off contact?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
WRONG
|
dYllRmhT9IamLqtxBwi5l2s9h5G4oXqY
|
a873uo
|
{
"description": "trying to be more independent from my mother",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to be more independent from my mother?
|
So this is coming off a recent conversation and a growing conflict I've had with my mother. Recently I feel like I've matured quite a lot and I'm wanting to start being a lot more independent. I'm 26 years old, I've just started turning a lot of things around in my life, losing weight, improving my mental health, and getting into a new relationship where communication has been absolutely fantastic. I'm embarking on serious plans to hit the ground running in 2019 in my career, and I feel like I am finally in the right mindset to make it happen.
I'll try to give a cliffsnotes summary of some important info my relationship with my mom: She was never a helicopter parent, but about as close as you could get. She would do just about everything for us growing up. My brother and I were almost never asked to do chores, other than keeping our rooms clean (and for the record, our rooms were NOT kept clean). I remember that dynamic continuing all the way up to adulthood. Looking back it was almost like I was being picked up after without even knowing it.
So fastforwarding to the present moment:
My mom has done my taxes every year for as long as I can remember. And as a way of me wanting to be more independent, I asked her if she could send me previous returns and I would do them myself this time. I figured it would be great to finally start learning the adult shit I need to learn and I also thought she would appreciate me actually taking the initiative instead of just having her do them. But instead she got very quiet.
At first she said it was fine and she'd send me what I need. Then she asked me again a couple months later if I needed any help figuring it out. And I said I would let her know. And again a month or so after that. And again. And it kept going until I eventually couldn't take it any more, until today, when I asked her directly if there was any problem. She insisted there wasn't but she had really uncomfortable body language, so I asked her if she was okay. She continued to insist she was fine, but eventually she told me that she didn't understand why I wouldn't want her help. She also asked if I wanted to do my own taxes because I have an issue with "the idea of my mom doing things for me". I got the sense that she was hurt that I wanted to take a more independent approach to this, and that she was also anxious of a lot of things she worried I might miss if she didn't teach me.
I mainly want to do my own taxes because, well, they're my taxes. She continued to say that it was fine that I wanted to do that but kept giving body language that showed she was very uncomfortable.
Eventually, she said that she felt that there were some things that she was worried I might miss if I just took them and started doing them myself, so she wanted to go through things with me, just to make sure I knew. I felt really relieved because she finally told me how she felt, and I asked her why she didn't just say that in the first place, rather than keep asking me the same thing over and over. She said "she didn't know how to say it this way", i.e. she didn't know how to express how she felt.
So I feel really conflicted. I feel like on one I gave into what my mom wanted again so she could feel less anxious. On the other I feel like it's just the right thing to do is to play the good son and let her show me what she wants to show me, even if I would rather it be done another way.
I think there is a lot about this dynamic that isn't about the taxes, but rather other things that are buried between us. There's a monumental amount of stuff that I want to address with her eventually regarding the way me and my brother were brought up that led to both of us being very poor at communication and caused us to struggle in our relationships and personal development for a long time.
When I talk with her now, having gone through serious education on proper communication, alarm bells start ringing. She gives off so many signs of discomfort, but adamantly insists that nothing is wrong. Eventually she might admit that there is an isse, but it takes honestly a solid 20 minutes of heart to heart conversation before we can start to get to the core of the issue. It's exhausting for us both and I wish it didn't take so much time and effort to get to where she actually expresses how she feels about something.
I feel like I might be the asshole because my expectations are too high with regard to her communication, or because I'm subconsciously bringing in old stuff from childhood when I talk to her, or because I'm pushing the issue too hard and making her uncomfortable. Hopefully this is enough info to go off of. I feel like I'm being careful and considerate of my mother's feelings, but am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
4TIIanFeplN7ZV64LqwuBsUDVvGWpZJG
|
b7t9h4
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{
"description": "not defending my friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For not defending my friend?
|
Tldr: I went out to dinner with two new people I was befriending who then started badmouthing my best friend. I didn't join in, but I didn't say anything in response because I was stuck with them for the rest of the night and didn't want to cause problems.
So, this happened years ago. I was leaving work and saw these two girls (I always refer to them as hitchhikers) sitting outside in the cold and I offered them a ride home. On the ride we ended up all chatting and we all kinda got along so we ended up getting food and hanging out a handful of times over the course of a couple weeks. Neither of them had vehicles so I always did the driving. Well one day we went to dinner and I don't remember how it came up, but shortly after we ordered my bestfriend was brought up and the hitchhikers just started talking really bad about her and saying some pretty rude stuff. I didn't join in or say she was my best friend. I didn't want to say anything about it because we still had food on the way and I was there ride home. I was stuck with them so I didn't want it to be awkward. I just waited for the subject to change and got on with the night.
After dinner I asked my bestfriend if she knew the hitchhikers and mentioned it to her.
She asked what I did and I said nothing and explained. She got really offended that I didn't defend her at all and felt 100% betrayed. That was the end of our friendship. I kept asking her if we could talk about it but she just kept saying there was nothing to talk about.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
WRONG
|
EMp4CfnWsmVZG47XA2ESYjW1OX9VFKXv
|
amki0n
|
{
"description": "moving on too fast",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
Aita for moving on too fast?
|
I started dating a boy when we were both 13, October of grade 8. Him and I were together for 1 year 2 months. In October -almost 1 year of us dating- he was calling his girl best friend cute n he was flirting with her. Ever since then our relationship went downhill. Our conversations became dry and werent any fun. He stopped listening to what i had to say and made faulse promises of change. All this went on for 3 months of me crying too much over him, and all around being unhappy. So we broke up. I kinda dumped Him but at the same time it was mutual.
Its been 2 weeks of us being a part and he still texts me everyday despite me telling him to stop, proves that he still doesn't listen. And tbh after crying for a few days straight, I feel fine. I miss the feeling of being in a relation ship but thats really it. Lately from anon accs on Instagram ive been getting hate msgs calling me an asshole for treating my ex the way i did, frankly I think I treated him way better than i should've. These ppl are telling me that i deserve to be alone, saying im a thot, an annoying bitch, etc. etc.
So I ask: am I an asshole for not being upset anymore and begining to move on "too soon" ?
Pls help me :")
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
akl5sk
|
{
"description": "dating someone else after promising to come back to a girl",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for dating someone else after promising to come back to a girl?
|
I was starting as a freshman in high school, basically fresh out of middle school and I had no idea how relationships worked or anything like that. However, being a dumb and curious freshman, I decided I should jump right into dating. I started talking with this one girl enough to the point where we started dating.
I didn’t tell my parents about this, because I was unsure of how they would react to me having a girlfriend. I didn’t want to date a girl then have to break up with her a day later because my parents said no. At no point did I think it was a good idea to ask my parents before we started dating for some reason. This ended unfortunately in my demise as my parents eventually found out and forced me to break up with her.
This left us pretty depressed since we really felt a connection with each other we never experienced with someone else. Anyways I got my phone and most of my privileges taken away for a good amount of time for lying to my parents. I was also not allowed to speak to this girl until I was pretty much over her and had no romantic feelings for her. Of course, being dumb teens who didn’t know better, we decided to proceed to lie again and get back together once I regained my privileges. We pretty much made a promise to each other to get back together later on. This promise was later broken.
Fast forward to the point where I am completely unrestricted, I hit her up to see if we could catch up on the time we were away from each other. From inspection of her social media profiles, she had a date written all over her bios with a heart next to it. A date that was only weeks after we first broke up. I confront her about this and she responds with, “he helped me through tough times” and “no one could replace you, but...” that type of stuff. She had found a boyfriend during the time I was stripped of my privileges. I was mildly infuriated about this since we made a promise to each other, but we carried on and continued to be friends. My thought process was that you can’t expect feelings for someone to remain after you don’t interact with them for a while, so I got over it not too long after.
Fast forward a couple months or so, my parents decide I should be able to have a girlfriend as long as I don’t hide anything from them and I still prioritize school. I was a little upset since they could have said this months before and it would have saved me from tears. At this point my ex girlfriend was still dating another guy, so I didn’t try to get back with her. Some time later, I start dating another girl, one that my parents liked. We kept our relationship pretty lowkey to avoid drama and stuff like that, but our parents knew and were fine with it.
Days later, and I mean DAYS later, I find out that my ex had broken up with her boyfriend because she had cheated on him (cheating at age 15, I know). She then approached me for what at first glance seemed like support and comfort. I delivered on this, considering I didn’t want to be a shitty person and we were still pretty cool with each other. I didn’t exactly agree with her cheating, but I supported her regardless as she seemed like she understood the mistake she made and didn’t want to repeat it. As we continue to talk, she brings up that old promise we made to each other a while back that she had broken. She had wanted to get back with me once again. Please keep in mind that this was the same day she broke up with someone because she cheated on them. I declined and explained to her that I had been in a relationship already. She then went on rambling about “but we made a promise to each other” and “you should’ve told me you were in a relationship”. She seemed to have forgotten the fact that she had broken the promise first. We go back and forth, and it ends with her calling me an asshole and me calling her a whore.
Days after that, all of her friends started giving me dirty looks and started going up to me to call me a dickhead. My food at lunch was spat in because she was friends with a student cafeteria worker. I was constantly harassed when I was by myself to the point where I had to make sure I had a friend by me at all times. I didn’t want to approach the staff because at the end of the day I wanted to avoid drama, and I thought that it would eventually go away over time. Also I called her a whore still so that could’ve gotten me in trouble as well lmao.
I don’t know. I feel like I was sort of an ass to her, because at the end of the day she was a really nice and caring person who made a some mistakes, albeit some really stupid ones but mistakes that I had thought she might have learned from. I also hurt her pretty bad when the first break up happened, and she probably feels like shit considering I’m happy with another girl and she is left lonely. I never got to hear her side of the story but I’d think that her friends are supporting her for a reason. What do you think reddit?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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ape8oh
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{
"description": "not appreciating my birthday gift",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not appreciating my birthday gift?
|
On mobile, very sorry for any formatting issues.
So for context: I’m -15- 16, I live with my mom and visit my dad every other weekend. This last year I’ve had an increasingly tense relationship with my dad, I feel like he is being overbearing and he thinks I should be more responsible and social. He tends to say he wishes I would be more open and honest with him, but it’s difficult since I can’t argue my view as well as he can and usually end up feeling like shit. It’s a bit more complicated than that, but I’d prefer not to get into the specifics of our dynamic. He got me a MacBook last year for my birthday, but it didn’t work and said he would replace it(but still hasn’t).
So, my 16th birthday was last week, and this weekend I went to my dad’s house to celebrate. On Friday, my dad had said he thought I would really like it. When I asked him if it was a new computer, he said I already have one, referring to the desktop that is not mine and I can only use for max four days out of a month.
So today was when I opened my presents and, still being an absolute child, was super excited to see what he had gotten me. Mind you, I figured it wasn’t going to be a computer because of the chat we had had Friday. However, I was still extremely disappointed to see that I had received a Snuggie. And not just any Snuggie, but the same one (albeit with a different color) he had gotten me for Christmas, not even two months ago. I know I looked disappointed, cause my dad asked if I liked it. I knew I had to say yes, since my stepmother was sitting right next to me and she’s really sensitive. In fact, during Christmas my dad had said to just act like I liked my gifts even if I didn’t. So I smiled and said “yeah, I do like the blue.” And just hung around until I could talk to my dad alone.
So, I had a little while to think about why, specifically, I don’t like this gift.
1. I already have one. I don’t really need another one, except maybe for convenience of not taking it back and forth to my dads house.
2. It’s passive aggressive. My other Snuggie had been at my moms house for a while. I hadn’t even been using it, just forgot to bring it back to my dads. I feel like getting me another Snuggie is just him passive aggressively telling me to keep his gifts at his house.
3. It’s unthoughtful. I think that, by getting just a copy/paste of my Christmas gift, it shows that my dad didn’t really want to put any effort into finding something else I’d enjoy. It seems like he was really banking on the fact that I liked the gift the first time, so why not get another one?
4. It wasn’t really relevant to me. I like having a blanket with a hood, sure, but I really think gifts should be a way to show that you really know and care about someone, not just an obligation to buy something. If it had been slightly more relevant, maybe. For example, I had told him that I wished the Snuggie had arm holes, so I could play on the computer without having chilly arms. I think that would have been a more relevant gift than the same thing as Christmas.
Having these reasons, I felt like a badass and was kind of excited to share my thoughts with my dad.
While my dad drove me home, he asked me if I actually liked my gift, as I had been a little “off” since after dinner. I answered honestly, no, I don’t like it. It feels lazy on your part to get me the same gift as Christmas and I wish I had gotten something more thoughtful. He seemed really hurt and I said I’m sorry, but that’s how I feel.
He starts telling me that the concept of not appreciating a gift is so foreign to him, because he grew up needing to get food stamps or go to soup kitchens, and implying, but not directly stating, that I should be grateful for getting anything. I think this is unreasonable, since we’re probably more of a middle class family and can probably afford gifts, especially since I prefer homemade, thoughtful gifts anyway. I didn’t say that though.
He also said that he and my stepmother had actually puta lot of thought into getting me another Snuggie, since they knew I had one at my mom’s house and they wanted me to be comfortable at their house as well. I think this was more of a selfish thing, but I’m biased. I think they just want to make sure they see me using my gift.
He brought up the whole “It’s the thought that counts” thing but I still wasn’t convinced it took a whole lot of thought to get the same thing as Christmas. I said that it doesn’t just matter that someone is giving the gift, it also matters how thoughtful and personal the gift is. I said the Snuggie wasn’t very personal and didn’t seem very thoughtful, and that was pretty disappointing to me.
Of course I was feeling attacked (unironically) by the part about being ungrateful, and started crying there. I know, teenagers and their silly emotions. This is usually the trend when I have a conversation with my dad, and I can’t tell if I’m faking it for attention, or if I can’t take anyone criticizing me. Overall he definitely won the conversation, but was he right? Before talking to him I thought I was definitely NTA, but now I’m not really sure. Am I the ungrateful asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
s5dyAWIkdp9MGiz4bELigCtoMvK1o7Lt
|
azruy2
|
{
"description": "telling my friend hes being rude by proving me wrong at every chance he gets",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend hes being rude by proving me wrong at every chance he gets
|
My best friend whom I've known since first grade has recently gained a habit of trying his very best to prove me wrong. sometimes he will find the smallest things he can to prove me wrong sometimes even making shit up.
Hes a great friend but i really dislike this new behavior. when i called him our for it about an hour ago he started trying to label me as a hypocrite by saying i do the same thing and i simply disagree. And after calling me a hypocrite I got a huge urge to fucking punch him but i don't care for conflict especially not with lifelong friends so instead I went to my room and started writing this to avoid talking to him while I calm down.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2bowUXG7pxOcerEaBaDmirOfziGyGdVG
|
avx6p6
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my roommate for taking his sweet ass time when I volunteered to give him a ride",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my roommate for taking his sweet ass time when I volunteered to give him a ride?
|
So my roommate asked for a ride to the airport and I agreed to give him one. He told me he wanted to be there by 5 am. So I woke up at 430 am so I could give him a ride. Well as I wake up I notice that he is not even ready to leave so I told him I'd start the car to warm it up and would be waiting. I waited about 30 minutes for him to come outside. This is all on my day off too.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
pgmYb3xW1d3eoCOL69zRPPSSdErBZVmK
|
ad07oy
|
{
"description": "thinking about me after finding out my bestfriend is withdrawing from my college",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for thinking about me after finding out my bestfriend is withdrawing from my college?
|
Today I was informed by my bestfriend that shed be leaving my college this upcoming semester. She asked that I not question her until shes ready to tell me why she had made such a decision and I am determined to do so and be as respectful as possible.
Am I the Asshole for only thinking about how college will be without my bestfriend there with me? I'm terrified of thinking about what itll be like when my friend group no longer includes the best person I've come to know at the school.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
WUeRKLnPN54ekHginacBki6Aykc8cKJg
|
b15zbl
|
{
"description": "telling my friend our mutual ex is trans",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling my friend our mutual ex is trans?
|
So basically, my friend and I met because we both dated the same guy (she dated him first, whereas I dated him on and off for years). The day after the last time I broke up with him, I found out he was trans. I suspect he was trying to piss me off for the last month of our relationship so I would break up with him.
I sat on the info for a while (two months?), and then it came up in conversation with my friend. Neither of us had spoken to him in months (me more recently since we had dated) so I figured it was probably safe-ish to tell her since last I heard he was coming out to his friends and family within days anyway, and tbh neither of us really cared about him enough to gossip to outsiders about him anymore.
At this point, we had already agreed that he was a narcissist who only ever wanted attention. He was constantly lying to both of us about how he'd lost this job or that job or gotten kicked out and it was conveniently never his fault (although his stories NEVER lined up). He also spun some story to me about how he didn't know how the sexts I found got onto his phone. He never saw them come in so someone must have hacked his phone. She got an equally stupid lie from him when she caught him cheating.
A few weeks later, we both got messages from him saying he wanted to talk. I didn't want any of his shit so I just said "I already know you're trans. Leave me alone please. FYI, [friend] knows too." I basically told him I didn't want to get dragged into his dishonest crap again so I had no interest in speaking to him about anything ever.
He got really mad at me for telling her, but tbh it was kinda just a "huh. Kay" conversation for both of us and then we went back to exchanging memes. And we honestly never thought we'd ever hear from him again. In fact, I *told* him I never wanted to hear from him again EVER because he told me that my depression when we first met was something he "forgave" me for - wtf? If he had even just said "I forgave you for the things you said/did" then ok cuz I admit to being a real jerk sometimes but the fact that he needed to forgive me for being depressed? That sounded like more manipulative bullshit to me. Like "look how amazing I am because blah".
Anyway. I'll concede that maybe it wasn't the nicest thing to do, but under the circumstances (not expecting to hear from him again, thinking he already came out to those who mattered, etc), was what I did really *that* horrible?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
lgV96Uv5palTxsDCePwTIBurLXKzIRNm
|
b9xl5j
|
{
"description": "telling a girl that her sister's death did not give her the right to treat other people like shit",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA I told a girl that her sister's death did not give her the right to treat other people like shit.
|
My (20f) friendship with this girl (19f) was complicated. We were at school together for 7 years and she was my best friend on and off during that time. Sometimes we were inseparable, other times she would bitch about me behind my back and spread rumours about me.
​
Her sister died when she was 17. I did everything I could to help her. I talked to her every day, didn’t push to visit her but when she was ready and wanted me I was there. I took her gifts, tried to distract her a little, talked to her like normal and tried not to pussyfoot around her like everybody else. We drifted apart not long after and I figured it was because she needed time with her family to heal.
​
Anyway, 18 months later she claimed that everything I did for her was for my own gain. She called me selfish and told me she never wanted to speak to me again. She also had a go at me for spreading it around when she had told me not to tell anyone (which isn’t true, I told only one person and that was after the rest of our friends had already been told). My feelings were extremely hurt.
​
In response I wrote a letter. I explained why I did each of the things that I did and that that I was genuinely trying to do my best to support her.
​
Because I was upset, I let my emotions get the better of me and in the very last paragraph I told her that her sister dying didn’t mean that the world revolves around her, that it didn’t give her the right to treat those around her like shit and just expect us to lay down and take it.
​
Later that day I start getting messages from loads of people. Messages telling me that I am a horrible, vile person, that nobody is ever going to love me, that I’m a psycho, an attention seeker, that the world would be better off without me.
​
Turns out she had taken the last paragraph of the letter and posted it online with her own context to make it look like I had said those things just because I was sore that she didn’t want to hang out with me anymore. Everybody saw and believed.
​
There was an entire thread of tweets dedicated to hating on/sharing personal information about me, edited pictures of my face circulating group chats and people I thought were my friends turning against me. Everybody in my home town hates me now and I can’t go home (I’m at uni) without receiving disgusted looks and whispers.
​
This was almost a year ago
​
I texted her for the first time since today. I asked whether she would be willing to meet, as I’d like the chance to apologise and make things right. I have no interest in being her friend, I just want to move on, and thought that if I could talk to her about it maybe id be able to make a start on doing that. She read it and ignored me.
​
But the real question here is am I the asshole? This last year I have thought about it so often that I’ve begun to believe everything these people think of me is true. Is it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
FCOLKnHOO2KVR8RAHStOA9YWUs8oz6D1
|
ay81ry
|
{
"description": "not tipping the bartender for a $1 drink",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for not tipping the bartender for a $1 drink?
|
A local bar has $1 beers every weekday. Standard tip is 15-20%, and I didn't have any coins on me, so I decided not to leave a 15 cent tip on a $1 beer. If I had gotten a few drinks, I would certainly have left a tip but I did not see the need to leave a couple cents for a single beer.
When I handed the bartender a single dollar bill for my drink, she said "So I guess no one has taught you about tipping before. Bartenders make almost all their money off of tips, and this is not a bar that you want to not tip at." I handed her another dollar because I did not want to deal with the uncomfortable situation, drank my beer, and left because the (in my opinion) rude service left me uninterested in the bar.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to give her a 100% tip because I didn't have any change on me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 20
}
|
WRONG
|
4zX2VH37gbfsPcgipfzJEhFWZ35lvX7j
|
aee50f
|
{
"description": "being depressed about not being liked by this girl",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being depressed about not being liked by this girl.
|
I've liked her for a while and I've come to the realisation that life is just so much more than girls man! Like, I'm an artist, I love writing stories and making poetry and experiencing others work, as well as that I've got my studies. And I'm not lonely, I'm very grateful for my friends. After realising this, I decided that it was wise to keep things as a friendship with this girl. I love talking to her, we talk for hours by texting but, in school, she barely talks to me. It can get awkward cuz she's really pretty and for some reason I try not to look at her and I think by the time I get the courage to do so she doesn't wanna look at me cuz she thinks I'm trying to ignore her. Idk, I get really shy sometimes, and she does too.
Recently, she got on offer from Oxford university. I'm really happy for her, everyone was crowding around her and congratulating her. There were some friends that she went up to herself to tell. I wish I was one of them, I just wanted to tell her how proud of her I was cuz she's been through a lot. Thing is, I want to be ok with things not being my way. I don't know how I can make myself strong enough to not get affected by these little things in such a pathetic way.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UIIDm80boft1KKg583xRuMM6gF6sOuVJ
|
arrx0z
|
{
"description": "talking loudly on a train",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for talking loudly on a train?
|
(Please excuse formatting I am on a phone)
I just started college as a year 9, I was with my friends at the end of the carriage and having a discussion about homework.
During this a large year 13 boy marched over to us and started screaming at us for "talking loudly and being inconsiderate towards people trying to study or listen to music."
Now this is a public train so we laughed him off and made an effort to be quieter. We quickly noticed he was glaring at us.
We stood up for our stop and he walked up behind us while staring at me. I was incredibly uncomfortable.
I politely reminded him that it was a public train and we are allowed to talk on it.
In response this guy who's at least 6 foot and towering over 5 foot me throws me against the inside of the train and as I get up he starts screaming at me calling me a little asshole and saying he's sick of my shit.
So I know he over reacted but was a an asshole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
kswDqI68hNpvHmOVDVNNn6q1wmCObQZc
|
aygsf7
|
{
"description": "expecting an apology",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for expecting an apology?
|
So a little backstory, this person was my best friend since we were children. Last year we ended up getting into a relationship which was a complete disaster due to a mistake I made. Eventually this mistake, being that I lied to them about being happy, made them start to act abusive towards me. By that I mean they'd constantly put me down, call me stupid, call me a bitch, you name it. They were awful towards me. This was after I had apologized to them countless times for what I had done, and they still acted this way, even when I needed emotional support. To top it all off, they then claimed that they were the victim, to which I agreed mostly out of obligation. This went on for about 9 months before we eventually broke it off, and our friendship ended a few weeks later.
So early this February I decided I'd get into contact with them one last time to apologize to them for what I had done. All they really did in response was thank me for the apology and say they don't like my personality (kind of unnecessary right?) I had expected for them to apologize as well, for everything they said and did to me. But they didn't. They didn't show a hint of even wanting to. They were still acting like a victim and I'm sure they would've gotten pissed had I tried to ask them to apologize. It makes me wonder if it's just petty to expect an apology out of them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
vti9CvlkmhkFb8vyBtqabiRsH9hRTwrp
|
aj0duy
|
{
"description": "complaining to my building management about the baby next door",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA If I complained to my building management about the baby next door.
|
I moved into this building in September. It’s not a high rise but it’s big (160 units, but they’re small, most of them are 580 sq ft). I’m in DC and 75% of the building is young professionals and then a few older single people. There is one family that I know of (next door) but it’s all one bedroom apartments so really it’s mostly couples and singletons. This is part of the reason I picked it, because it’s super quiet and everyone minds their own business and it’s quite nice. I have a very stressful job (don’t we all) and I like to come home after and be alone, in the quiet, and decompress. That’s how I recharge basically.
Anyway, so at some point the people in the apartment next to me had a baby, I think in October. I have never actually seen them, just heard them. The room the baby lives in is right next to my bedroom and I’m almost 100% that it’s bed is right up against the wall we share. I think this because there’s a lot of bumping into that wall like someone is moving a crib around and because of the clarity of sound. So for awhile it was just kind of annoying because I could hear the baby crying but it would stop and I’d be able to fall asleep, but now it’s ridiculous. The little dude has been up ALL night for the last month. I checked the clock yesterday, it was screaming at 10, 12, 1:30, again at 2, and then it was peaceful til about 4:30 and then back up again at 6. And every time it cries the parents make a BIG deal so their fussing is almost as disturbing as the crying. I don’t mean fussing over the baby, I mean I think they’re having issues and they’re fighting about who has to get up. Last night they were yelling at each other at 2am. It was unpleasant.
So I basically can’t sleep, and I’m annoyed about it because I chose this building because of how quiet and non-social it is, and it’s starting to have an impact on me at work. But on the other hand, I think they’re having a rough time and babies are hard, especially the first one. But on my third hand, I didn’t chose to have the baby and I don’t need to be on its sleep schedule.
I’m considering talking to the building management about it but I don’t want to be a massive asshole. I’m pretty sure they have the larger floor plan (700 sq ft) so I’m thinking maybe they can just move the baby anywhere else so it’s not against my bed wall, I think that would help. I cannot move my bed (or I would) because my bedroom is itty bitty and it would block the door. Also, I’m not going to go talk to them directly because I actually want to have zero personal interaction with any of my neighbors other than being nice in the elevator
So would talking to the building management make me an asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
Tich4Z1sWHnycOqdcUQ6fLYTlPHOeXLe
|
ap4t82
|
{
"description": "asking the mom for her blessing to marry my gf and not the dad",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking the mom for her blessing to marry my GF and not the dad?
|
Good thing I found this sub Reddit cause i'm feeling a little bit of an A hole right now. Title pretty much explains the post. Now, all personal views on if asking for a parent's blessing is outdated (or sexist or what the hell ever), I'm just wondering if I am in the wrong here. I asked my GF's mom for her blessing first to marry her daughter instead of the father first. The reason(s) being is that:
​
My GF is a hell of a lot closer to her mom than her dad. Her dad is still in the picture and married to her mom but she wasn't really close to him. I mean her mom practically raised her by herself for most of her younger years (the split after they had her for a couple years), and even when he came back they did not get along well at all, she tells me they are MUCH better now but I can't judge since I wasn't there her whole life.
​
Her dad a lot of the times can be immature...I mean really immature...I mean border line Peter-Pan syndrome. Not like the weird "innocent" Michael Jackson type stuff, more like he never grew out of Sophomore year high-school type personality, even though he is pushing close to 50 fast. And with it comes some really D-bag moments that personally tick me off but I don't say anything cause I feel it isn't my place.
​
AITA for almost entirely avoiding asking the dad for his blessing? I only asked him after her mom said it would mean a lot to the dad. And when I let it slip accidentally that I asked the mom first he was really surprised and that made for an awkward situation.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Shla8PQQtJTrSN1UEnxCTs7TDe7FTqkn
|
b68ngp
| null |
AITA for hangong out with my sisters bfs friend?
|
So, my sister's bf lives with my family, and every Sunday, he invites hos one friend over to hang and play videogames. He's a really nice guy, and fun to talk to, so I've started to chill with him and my sisters bf whenever he comes over
The problem is, I kinda feel like an asshole when I do this, because I feel like I intruding on there time together. they've never said anything about it (though they might just be trying to be nice) and I've never tried to insert myself into what there doing, I'm usually just a sorta passive observer (though I will, of course, talk from time to time) but I can't shake the feeling I'm being annoying. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IqW1pKRDJ5NmW3TzwnEJi6VQ733QjdJW
|
avz4o6
|
{
"description": "not using the right phrasing",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not using the right phrasing?
|
This happened a few months ago. My SO and I have opposite schedules, and on this day I decided to take voluntary time off since I didn't get any sleep the night before. On my way back through the parking lot of my complex I noticed one of my SO's tires were extremely low. I had mentioned to her numerous times to fill her tires, so I assumed it was a slow leak. It was *almost* flat, but I figured it would get her to the nearest gas station before work.
I woke her up when I got home and said her tire was extremely low and she should fill it before she goes to work. She mentioned something about doing it on her lunch break, and I tried to stress how important it was for her to take a look before then. I assumed she would heed my warning and assess the situation appropriately, I even told her she should wake up a couple hours earlier just in case. She goes back to sleep, I'm starting to fall asleep as well, and think to myself "I should probably tell her it's flat since she isn't taking it seriously enough." She's already asleep again, I figure I'll wake up around when she's going to work and tell her then.
That didn't happen, I was too sleepy to remember. She gets to work and realizes her tire is completely flat and now has to call triple A. Turns out she didn't have a slow leak, there was a pretty big hole in her tire. It turned into a huge ordeal and she had to get it towed, get new tires, etc, and she's stressed since she has to figure this all out while she's at work.
While she acknowledged she should have checked her tire before she left for work, she said that I should have said the words "your tire is flat" instead of saying "your tire is extremely low, and you should check it out before you go to work." I feel like an asshole for maybe not saying the word "flat" but I tried to stress the severity of the situation. She said it wasn't my fault, but the fact that she said I should have said "flat" still feels like she blames me to some degree.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZF0BTaaWazNvxn1LC2rJlpZicIfU2IBq
|
av7679
|
{
"description": "considering re-homing my cat because I'm pregnant and he keeps peeing on the bed",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for considering re-homing my cat because I'm pregnant and he keeps peeing on the bed?
|
I have a four-year-old persian cat and am currently four months pregnant with my first child. Since I found out I am pregnant my cat has started peeing on the bed (usually while we are sleeping on it!)
So I have often had to wake up in the middle of the night and change the sheets. It is gross and (I fear) pretty unhealthy. (He doesn't have a UTI or other medical condition by the way), and it leaves me absolutely exhausted which in turn makes my morning sickness worse.
I love the cat and he is a sweet boy, but he has always been pretty anxious and high-maintenance, and I'm pretty worried that once the baby comes and I am already sleep-deprived, cleaning up cat pee will be the last thing I want to do, and I won't want to sacrifice my sleep any further by having to change the sheets in the night. And what if he pees in the baby bassinet and harms my child?
We tried getting a pet gate but he bangs on the gate to get in at night, and sometimes sneaks in to the bedroom anyway.
Anyway, the pet groomer the other day mentioned that she LOVES the cat and spontaneously said "if you ever need to find a new home for him, I'd love to take him."
I am tempted to let her take him... it's pretty heartbreaking to think about letting my cat be re-homed, but I genuinely think the cat would be happier in a new home at this stage, and I have to be realistic that I will go crazy if we are constantly cleaning up after my cat as well as my baby.
TL;DR: AITA if I re-home my cat (to a loving home) because I'm pregnant and he pees on the bed?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
HzULrDaGjF3hJE4p9LGoDNnzqvVZMVCD
|
aikgm1
|
{
"description": "asking my sister three times to pick up the same piece of cat poop on the floor",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for asking my sister three times to pick up the same piece of cat poop on the floor?
|
As of February 17, I've edited this post. Responded to some comments and cut out the excess - thought I was giving context, wound up just venting. Sorry guys, first post jitters I guess. Still fairly long as I am incapable of short, but sticks to the main point now.
Cast:
Me: 20 yo aspie artist. I live at home and don't make enough for my parents to be comfortable charging me rent, so I do weekly jobs around the house to contribute. Would usually do so the day before this story, but I woke late after having a poor night's sleep and had to go to a meeting about my small business, so the bigger job of vacuuming/mopping was left to today as the house is too busy for loud vacuuming in the late afternoon.
Sister: 17 and I find that she's a bit of a terror. Some days I get her 'public face' - the perfect child who got Head Girl and is loved by the majority of the school. At home, I usually deal with a child who likes to play a third parent to me, not follow her own advice, and rage at her family for everything going on in her life.
Sebastian and Bundi: Our two cats. While I do a number of jobs around the house, their litter boxes are a job my sister and I share.
Mum: Tries her best to be fair, but she's got her own issues.
​
Wake up, do waking up things. Pass the laundry where the litter boxes are kept. See shit on the floor. Grrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaat. Since I cleaned up the floor poop yesterday morning, even though I had to fly out the door, I feel like it's fair to ask if my sister could do this one this morning.
Go out to the kitchen. Sister's making breakfast for herself and Mum with earbuds in. I have to talk a couple of times to get through her earbuds, eventually just stating that there's cat poop on the laundry floor and asking her to pick it up.
Sister chastises me for not asking her more politely, as I had not continued using the word 'please' after the second attempt to get through her earbuds (about 4 tries total). Then she brings up the times when she has told me someone needs to do the litter box, I went into the laundry to find poop on the floor, and then I went to ask her if she knew about the floor poop. In the past, she has pushed her jobs onto me, so I had reason to ask at the time. She apparently thought I was trying to prove something by mentioning the floor shit. I explain that I simply felt I should tell her because I knew at the time. Sister continues to tell me that the only reason she didn't mention floor poop was because she didn't know, which I confirm that I understand now.
I sit and talk with Sister and Mum over breakfast. Lots of topic jumps and some nonsense, y'know, family stuff.
After breakfast, I ask if Sister remembers that I asked about the litter boxes. She gets huffy and Mum tells me that I don't need to check in on her so much and not to ask again. I explain that I only brought it up because I know I forget if I get distracted by anything, but that I understand.
I go to get started on the vacuuming. Sister is wandering from her room to the bathroom to the kitchen, on her phone. I change out the vacuum bag, maybe a five minute job total. Still wandering and texting. Plug in the vacuum and clean the first two rooms, five to ten more minutes. Still. Texting. Not even moving towards the laundry. I know she needs to nail down a date for something with her friends, but come on, we have known this shit was on the floor for approaching an hour now. I decide Mum's previous order now ranks as a request. Probably an asshole for that.
I ask a third time for her to pick up the cat shit. Sister looks like she wants to tear my face off for that, snaps her hands through her hair so hard an earbud falls to the floor, and stomps up the hallway. I hear her grumbling through my own headphones and ask her, very calmly, to repeat herself.
"It's not like I have anything to do!" she snaps. I explain that I needed to vacuum in here, that I could not vacuum over the cat poop and had to move things around in there to clean properly. I explain that I have seen her wandering around on her phone. This job will only take her two minutes.
From what I was able to see, my sister wandered through the house on her phone for the next hour and a half before jumping in the shower, so that was apparently her idea of things to do. I did go on to warn my Mum that I asked Sister again, since she was wandering on her phone and I needed it done quickly, just so she knew why she was angry.
Am I the asshole here?
​
​
Responses to comments:
***Why didn't you just clean up the cat shit?*** Yeah, I probably should have. I think it's the household mentality. Just this morning when I went to make my coffee, there was some paper towel on the ground. In our house, that means Mum found cat vomit and decided not to wake anyone to clean it up, just to mark where it was. I have also been told about floor cat shit when I wake up in the past, while my sister laid in bed wide awake and texting. I'm not justifying it, and it's a habit to break. Shitty reason, but that's why.
***You're coming off as controlling.*** Unfortunately, it happens. I panic when things aren't moving at the 'right pace', because I'm scared I'll get in trouble for not having my own work done. Not a good trait. My sister has left jobs alone for days in the past while being reminded by our parents and walking past the obviously needs-to-be-done job multiple times a day. In the heat of the moment, I thought that I was doing the right thing. Looking back, I wasn't.
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{
"description": "questioning my friend if she actually cares about what she shares on FB",
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|
AITA for questioning my friend if she actually cares about what she shares on FB?
|
Throwaway cause I’m typically a lurker, but this has been on my mind for a bit.
So my friend is pro-Black and pro-feminism and she constantly shares pro-black and pro-feminism articles, videos, etc. on Facebook. I don’t have a problem with that, she can share whatever she wants.
But it’s come to a point where she only shares the stuff BECAUSE it’s a black person or a woman, or even a black woman that is in the video/wrote the article. I asked her if she even read the articles and did more research into the stories, and she told me that she reads the articles, but doesn’t do further research. I said she should so she could get a better understanding and have more details about the article/video.
She then said it doesn’t matter and that I shouldn’t get worked up over something so small. I talked to some other mutual friends, and they sided with her and said I was overreacting.
So I feel the need to ask: AITA for questioning my friend if she actually cares about what she shares on FB?
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{
"description": "being pissed about not being told about a new employee at a place I don't work",
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|
AITA for being pissed about not being told about a new employee at a place I don't work?
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Yeah, based on that title, 100% I'm the asshole. Here's where I'm confused:
The workplace is my dads, where my husband was employed. Hubby finishes up at the end of this week, because he's chosen to take on a different job. Dad wasn't overly happy about this - one of those 'but I'm creating an opportunity for you to take over the business one day' scenarios. Which is great, and super appreciated...but hubby's got a trade and been given an amazing opportunity in that field - and he never wanted that business and was clear on that from the start, he started working there to help Dad out when Dad got sick and needed a hand for a while. (Dad's fine, temporary illness)
So we've been a bit curious since we haven't heard anything about anyone new starting with Dad (only Dad and one employee - business is busy, but doesn't need more than that at this stage). Today, Mum let slip that he had someone lined up to start next week. She was the only one that knew and we weren't to be told because 'why do they need to know?'. ('They' being me and my husband)
Ok....fair enough? Seems a bit douche-ey to me because we're family, but ok fine, we don't really need to know I guess.
​
Oh. Except. The person you've got working for you is our real estate agent, who currently has the sale contract for our apartment. And Dad's sworn him to secrecy. So he'll be leaving that real estate agents next week and....we....haven't been told...because Dad's forbidden him from telling us? Really?
​
I'm getting out of the fog lately with some ridiculously narcissistic things Dad's done, and some beautifully enabling things Mum's done, throughout my entire childhood....but this one has me a bit stumped. Am I the asshole here and I'm making a big deal out of something that really isn't?
P.S. Don't know if it changes anything, but for the last 10 years I've worked for our other family business (and still am) - Dad has stepped away from this one leaving me and Mum working here, while he does the other business full-time.
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{
"description": "calling my girlfriend a ho",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
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AITA for calling my girlfriend a ho...
|
Let me start off by saying this happened all through texting. My girlfriend and I of 3 and a half months will sometimes jokingly call each other names, in a flirty manner. I'll call her a loser and she'll reply calling me a tool, nerd (etc). We just like to go back and forth with banter in a lighthearted mood and have a good time with it. Well today, in the middle of some of our bantering, I said, "Gonna take a shower real quick" she replied, "Cool story bro". I get out of the shower and she said she was going to run to Walmart, so i respond with this exact text, "cool story... h..." Implying I was going to say hoe. Here's the thing, I didn't actually even call her a hoe. So she facetimed me and kind of told me how wrong that was of me and how she doesn't enjoy being called a ho. I told her it was all in good fun as we were just going back and forth with names. She said very emphatically it was indeed NOT funny. She said it was would be equivalent to if she had called me a prick. Which, honestly would not offend me, unless she were being serious.
So maybe I'm the asshole here, maybe I crossed the line, but my first thought is that she is being sensitive here. It can be hard to judge from the first person
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{
"description": "not wanting to pay for alcohol",
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|
AITA for not wanting to pay for alcohol
|
To start off with i will say that this is not me in case, it's my friend/classmate and i will apologise in advance for my broken english as it is my second language.
​
Ok a bit of backstory, so we are 17/18 years old and at second grade of college/high school. there is this kind of a tradition to celebrate the third graders/seniors leaving the school that we celebrate it by hosting them a party and buying all the alcohol and food for them. and also there is another tradition going on about the same time now that the second graders have this oldish event in which we have a lot of old dances that we train and then there will be our big day to show off everyone how good of dancers we are.
​
So the thing is that we have also a party after our dance in the evening and usually people drink quite a lot in there and we have to pay for everything collectively beforehand. And now that we are planning both for the party of the seniors leaving and our party after the dances. we came to a conclusion that everyone should pay 20 euros so we can pay for both. And if you didn't want to take part in our party after the dance you just wouldn't pay 10 euros and not come to the party, And also if you didn't want to pay for the seniors goodbye party then you just wouldnt be able to join next year when the current second graders would pay for you. quite simple.
​
So now we are at the point where everything is basically figured out and done. But my friend has strong beliefs against alcoholism and didn't want to support the drinking or drink himself. I of course assumed that he would just pay his part on everything else since the was a good planning for budget and all expenses were figured out so he just wouldn't pay his part for the alcohol costs.
​
Here is where is was really surprised that almost everyone started to scream to him that just pay the fucking 20euros and get this done with and don't fuck around. he explained that he just felt that he wouldn't like to part of supporting heavy drinking and just not pay for the alcohol and not drink it by himself now or the next year when we get the party. even after he gave a proper explanation people still talked shit about him that "always like this, never willing to co-operate" which is partially true but in this matter I couldn't really understand why he wouldn't be able to just pay his part of the other costs like rent and food. And people kept telling him that just pay the fucking 20 euros and we can use it to buy foor and not alcohol so everyone will be happy, but as obviously terrible argument as that is because simply there would be more money to buy alcohol since someone else wouldn't pay for the food and buy more alcohol which would still support heavy drinking.
​
I most often can relate to other views or atleast understand them but in this case i truly can't understand why wouldn't he be able to just pay his part in other costs so he would just be able to join the party and not dring because i was basically the only one that got his back. so is my friend truly an asshole?
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| null |
AITA Subreddit banned me for making a post in another subreddit
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Am I the asshole here:
So I made a post in a subreddit, supporting a Young American soldier who just completed boot camp:
"Well done. Thank you for stepping up. A classic American patriot here folks."
​
Here is the reply from the moderator of another subreddit:
You've been banned from participating in r/\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*
subreddit message via [/r/](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest)r/\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\[[M](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/about/moderators)\] sent 38 minutes ago
You have been banned from participating in [r/](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest)r/\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*. You can still view and subscribe to [r/](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest)r/\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*, but you won't be able to post or comment.
Note from the moderators:
>You have been automatically banned for participating in [/r/@](https://www.reddit.com/r/the_donald)@@@@@@@. It systemically [harasses people and communities](http://archive.is/Tbvqi), including this one. The effects of your participation go beyond Reddit, as [it heavily promoted the Nazi rally in Charlottesville](https://www.wired.com/story/alt-right-charlottesville-reddit-4chan/), and [interferes with American democracy](https://www.dailydot.com/layer8/russia-troll-farm-r-the_donald/).
[The content you provide to the hatereddit harms all other communities](http://archive.is/OGyRh) and breaks our rules. We are willing to reverse the ban only if you will completely disengage from these hatereddits. If you will not immediately cooperate with our rules, then do not contact us; we will ignore any other response.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team for [r/](https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest)\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* by replying to this message.
**Reminder from the Reddit staff**: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of [the Content Policy](https://reddit.com/help/contentpolicy#section_prohibited_behavior) and can result in your account being [suspended](https://www.reddithelp.com/en/categories/reddit-101/rules-reporting/account-and-community-restrictions/suspensions) from the site as a whole.
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{
"description": "not wanting to hang out with someone autistic",
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"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA For not wanting to hang out with someone autistic?
|
Ok I know this sounds bad but hear me out.
I’m currently in 1st year uni. I saw a girl who was lonely, we had the same classes and same break times so I decided to talk to her. We became friends after that. A few months later I transferred to a different uni. After a while she started to get fixated on telling me about every detail of her life. She would send me giant blocks of text of how she decided that she would runaway, date someone 10 years older than her, someone in her apartment died etc. It was fine for a awhile, I gave her advice on what the best thing for her to do would be.
But now she’s become fixated on her sex life and would send me descriptions in great detail alongside sending me images of the lingerie she prefers to wear. I tried to change the subject many times but she can’t understand social cues. She decided that she wanted to get me something for my birthday and brought me lingerie despite my protests. Now she wants to hangout so she can give it to me and keeps messaging about the meet up date.
I’ve never known an autistic person before nor do I have the knowledge or experience to deal with someone like that. She’s 5 years older than me so it the conversations I have with her feel awkward. I can handle her messages but if I see her in person I don’t think I can.
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"description": "trying to be realistic",
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}
|
AITA for trying to be realistic?
|
So my friend, Dave has been building decks for a couple months now. Few weeks ago his boss told him he wanted him to create his own LLC to sub contract work out to.
At the time Dave said himself it was a bad idea. I agreed citing his lack of experience with budgets, taxes, insurance etc. Didn't bring up his issue with spending money and always falling for every gimmick or dumbass thing someone tells him.
Yesterday he tells me and some other friends that he's now a business owner. I thinking we were still on the same page tell him he's dumb for going through with it. He continues to tell me I always have some bad to say etc.
I realize I do come off kinda harsh in things like this and always try to apologize when I do so but still try to convey my thoughts. I think he just gets mad that he's not hearing what he wants to from me. As seems to be a pattern for most people around him/here. I've known this dude all my life and don't want him to screw up, I hope it works out. But I think he thinks I'm just being a dick.
AITA?
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{
"description": "\"questioning my dad's logic\"",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For “Questioning my dad’s logic”?
|
I was heading to bed and saw my dad, I asked him if he was still going to make me a new Ethernet cord because I wasn’t sure if the previous cord was broken or the port is. He responds by asking me if I’m going to be using my computer that night. I asked him what he was going to be using my computer for (because a. I don’t want him snooping through my computer and b. Why does he need to know if I’m using my computer to make an Ethernet cord? He doesn’t have to touch my computer and I can set it up myself). After I asked this, my dad went off on me to tell me all about how I need to stop “questioning his logic” and how I’m an ungrateful little brat.
TL;DR: I ask my dad a follow up *question* to his *question*-answer of my *question* and he lectures me about basically being a bitch millennial.
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{
"description": "calling a restaurant out for giving suggested gratuity by percent on their receipts that was inaccurate in their favor",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling a restaurant out for giving suggested gratuity by percent on their receipts that was inaccurate in their favor?
|
All I did was cross out the amount they printed and wrote what the actual percent tip was. Then I tipped *more* than either of those to make them feel bad? Make me seem morally superior? I think I just answered my own question
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{
"description": "confiding in a close's friends best friend about his want to relapse",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for confiding in a close’s friends best friend about his want to relapse?
|
Hi, so i’m kindve in a conflicted situation. I have this friend where he was in rehab for narcotics and has been out lately, and we’re very close.
One night, he was wanting to relapse and i’m also close with his best friend so I didn’t say anything specific, his friend just asked me why he was being moody and I said he was struggling with some problems with going back to his past and that i’m sure he’ll kick out of it. They live together, and he told me he’d keep a eye on him, to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid because I was genuinely worried about him. I never brought it up first, only when asked why he was upset.
Then, this friend tells the whole rehab that he wants to relapse after swearing he wouldn’t tell anyone. Friend who wants to relapse texts me, freaking out, and friend who I told says it’s my fault and that he should be able to tell people.
I was just trying to look out for him because I cared.
AITA?
|
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arquh8
|
{
"description": "not tipping for the first time in a while",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not tipping for the first time in a while?
|
So I'm a 17 year old high school student who works part time, so all the money I make goes into saving for college and for social events with friends. On the weekends I limit my budget to fifty dollars maximum, which usually gets used up fully. I withdrew fifty dollars on Friday after school and ordered pizza for dinner. I had two twenty dollar bills and one ten, so I just used a twenty for the seventeen dollars worth of pizza and told the delivery guy to keep the change. The next day I went out to lunch with friends and had an eight dollar meal, which I used the other twenty to ask for a ten, a five, and five ones, and left a four dollar tip, as this waitress was amazing and overall a great person, and I also wanted some bills for exact change purposes. Now I was down to eighteen dollars. I always make sure to leave a tip, because the tipping system is pretty garbage, but that is public knowledge by this point.
​
So Sunday morning rolls around, and my friends and I go out for breakfast. Our waitress really isn't that good, and she never gave any of us a refill on our clearly empty drinks until I asked, to which she seemed pretty annoyed, but most of the time I would still leave a good tip. My friends and I get our receipts and go to the front cashier to pay. My bill is $12.84, so I used my ten dollar bill and my three ones. I would've used the five, but my friends were already making plans for later to get fast food and watch movies at one of their houses, so I thought I would save the 5 for dinner later. The front cashier is having my friend swipe his card while I hand her my cash and tell her to keep the change, just cause I didn't want her to fish for sixteen cents. I didn't say it in a tone of voice or anything, just the normal conversation voice one would have. after I say this she says in a sarcastic tone, "oh wow, sixteen cents!" she wasn't loud or anything, but still pretty snarky. As the sixteen cents prompt showed up for my tip and the two dollar prompt passed for my friend, she looked at him and genuinely said "thank you so much!" and then looked over at me and sarcastically said "I mean it!" I left and it wasn't a huge deal or anything, but I can't help but feel stupid or something. I mean, for all she knew I could've left the tip on the table. She didn't even seem like the type of woman who you'd expect to act sarcastic or anything, and in past experiences she had been really nice when I left tips, so this came as a shock.
​
TL:DR: I didn't tip for the first time in a long while to save cash for later, and the cashier spoke sarcastically and snarky towards me.
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{
"description": "trying to eat pasta",
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|
AITA for trying to eat pasta?
|
Despite the stupid title, there's actually a bit more backstory.
​
I'm 13 years old, and my sister is 17.
Her school is done, so she stays at home for the whole day. One day I come home at like 5pm from the bus (parents work quite late and don't get back until about 6:30) and there's leftover pasta from the night before. She's already eaten her dinner and I'm about to serve myself. I scoop one scoop and then I'm about to do another (i need lots of food), and then my sister chimes in saying stuff like "you don't need another one" and "save it for parents". normally this wouldn't be a problem, but she says it in a shouting way and this kinda ticks me off a little bit for some reason so I jokingly keep on serving the second spoonful (i was gonna put it back) but then she runs up to me and starts grabbing my arm and pulling me away. Like idk why but when someone gets really angry at me for little to no reason it annoys me so I push her away but then she gets really angry and starts punching my arm. She takes the pasta away and says 'you don't deserve it and stuff.' The punching doesn't hurt but I'm kinda annoyed now so I push her really hard. She starts crying and going on about how 'im stronger than I think' (which is an excuse she uses 24/7 with parents) which is kinda true. I'm kinda pissed off because when my parents get back they would take her side of the story because she's older and she sucks up. She tries retaliating but I don't quite remember the next few minutes but its basically back and forth physical fighting, but in all, she definitely punched/kicked more than I did. I did use a few choice words and punched/kicked as hard as I could though. I generally kept my calm. Parents come back and surely, after debating and the like I get in trouble. It doesn't end here though. I still feel like I was wronged so I wanted to kinda get revenge so I walk into the kitchen and take the leftover pasta and say really loudly "oh I wanna eat this pasta" and then she gets angry and another fight brews before my parents can stop. I kinda feel like I could've done things to stop it but Imo its generally my sister's fault. Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
mmUP8ktZwNfNiYlN9LA5YJikdohbtVdF
|
ag9vu1
|
{
"description": "making a girl tap out in an MMA fight",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for making a girl tap out in an MMA fight?
|
I (male) practice a couple of martial arts and there was a mixed gender tournament. There was a girl from my area who competed against me in it. I begged her to pull out but she wouldn’t. After a struggle I got her in a submission hold (one that is frowned upon but not banned)and made her tap. She tapped but I kept the hold in for a bit longer and then was awarded victory. I feel bad for what I did but I had to win. I hope her and I can be friends.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
f2Ap3ysyMu9u9gJGeaHebdFWNJcmo3BH
|
a4pox7
|
{
"description": "moving in with my best friends ex-girlfriend a month after they broke up",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving in with my Best friends ex-girlfriend a month after they broke up?
|
AITA for moving in with my Best friends ex-girlfriend a month after they broke up?
​
**Bit of back story:**
We are not going out, we have no interest in each other. I moved into her house to be closer to family, work and save some money to get my own place ( I originally lived 200 miles away). I feel really guilty, they finished their relationship on a bad turn of events but both seem okay with it? I think...
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
8ZBQGtaZ55oBoePMF7SQPilQSml6GC1c
|
b15izy
| null |
AITA? Husband casually drops that held applying for a job NOT in the city we’ve been planning on moving to for the past year.
|
Husband (32m) casually told me he's applying for a job in a city that's NOT the city we've been planning on moving to for the last year. I (33f) feel like l've been blindsided.
Husband and I have been married for 7 years, together for 10. We are both trying to finish up our PhDs. In order to do that, we decided to go to our home country and settle down in the city where we have roots, like family, friends, familiarity, etc. My family has a country house that we are free to stay in so that we have the time and space to work. It was my husband’s idea to make this move.
We've also never lived in the heart of this city before, so we (I thought) were psyched to reconnect and build the rest of our lives. I'm not saying that l expected that we stay in this new city forever, but we had settled on it for the near future.
We're supposed to move in July and finish writing our PhDs with the support of friends and family. I had thought that we would at least stay there until the end of 2019. Other friends have friend encouraging us to move to other cities (to be close to them), but my husband has consistently told them that we have decided on this city as our next location.
Today, he tells me he's applying for a job in a different city (5 hours away), and that it starts in September. He old told me because he wants my help with the application. No big deal, right? I told him I'm not happy with how he's acting like this isn't a HUGE departure from the plans we've made. We will only spend 2 months in the place where we're we're supposed to be dedicated to writing. I doubt he'll finish his PhD if he starts working right away.
Again, I'm not opposed to changing plans, but I'm insulted by his nonchalantness. Like the plans we’ve been making mean nothing. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
n86cHJ9fsxZTUlMc6dYFT8cog5G7T0Zi
|
ambdfr
|
{
"description": "telling him I to spare his help for me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I told him I to spare his help for me?
|
I have made a thread on Twitter talking about how I am involved with a group of schoolmates whom I had to endure their unappreciative attitude (and actions) towards me.
Background:
These actions/attitudes includes excluding me from their WEEKLY gatherings and not telling me to come with them unless they feel like it, bullying, lack of communication and other stuff.
Now I know the people in this group since where 16, and now where 22. But here is what went wrong: when college was coming 2 of my friends went abroad to study and I majored in something different than (the group) majored in, so what they did is they made a (circle) of their own and didn't think about making me a part of it because all of them know me well.
This asshole move made me very depressed and lonely since I joined college. The fact that you know that you have no one other than this (group) you know well enough to spend good times with them but they don't want you made me lose my will to continue being a normal guy.
The other fact that I have a family which only looks at me as I am a teenager who overreacts about everything and that I'm really just sensitive made me even more lonely, and btw I have 3 brothers and 4 sisters ( I'm from Bahrain ) but unfortunately I cannot really reach out to any of them because of what I mentioned earlier.
So
So I bottled up for about 3 years and yesterday I reached my breaking point and made a thread on Twitter talking about everything I had on mind. This made my cousin (one the guys I mentioned who was studying abroad) reach out to me saying he can talk to me tmw. But there is another guy whom I knew from college, and whom I really respect reach out to me as well, the latter also he can talk to me a time later.
But now that I know that my cousin will talk to me (and that he knows me best). I don't feel like talking to the latter guy whom I knew from college, even though I still have a lot of respect for him.
Put simply: I was very depressed and lonely, two guys reached out to me, I think of them would be enough for me, so now I don't feel like talking to the other.
WIBTA if I told the latter guy politely that he doesn't need to hear what I'm going to say, or if I told him politely that I had help already?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
DfPgILlR24nhUWbcS3zNTDPP1S8g6M4J
|
asz0uq
|
{
"description": "pushing my so to go to therapy when he has made it clear he doesn't want to",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for pushing my SO to go to therapy when he has made it clear he doesn't want to?
|
The title is basically the question.
My boyfriend and I have been together for many years. In that time we have both had our issues and dealt with them together. I have been to therapy and still currently go.
My boyfriend is currently very depressed. Watching him go through this is so painful for me. He has seen a psychiatrist and various counselors but never seen a therapist for a talk session. I think this would be really beneficial but he hates the idea. He doesn't want to talk to someone who he feels won't do anything to fix his problems. I think it is also important to note that his insurance will cover therapy and cost is not an issue here.
This is something he is drawing a line in the sand over. He has started to get legitimately angry whenever I bring it up. I am at a loss. I would not break up with him over this, but I do not see the point of suffering through it without trying all available options.
I'm not trying to be an asshole but I've continued to push the issue even though he has made it clear he will not go. AITA if I continue to push this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
QPhW5EkoKF6Q3IqsAKxj4ZduczbBeWVk
|
aw6fp9
|
{
"description": "snapping at a girl for talking about her problems",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I snapped at a girl for talking about her problems
|
​
There's this girl I go to high school with. By with I mean I have her in my first period and that's it. Every chance she has she talks about herself and her own problems. To the point I don't actually think it's legitimate anymore.
​
She has talked about having a boyfriend in a very obnoxious way a lot in the past(basically no one asked or were talking about anything related and she just pipes up "WELL MY BOYFRIEND...") , and always talks about their problems to anyone who will listen, or just has ears. Of course she did this until he broke up with her and she then just complained until she realized no one cared. This rubbed me the wrong way because she would just outwardly talk about their relationship but since he went to another school he would never know nor be able to defend himself.
​
Another incident me and my friends are again eating breakfast and she pulled out her like water warming squishy heart shape period pouch from her ***p a n t s*** and talks about her period. While we're eating. We just kind of??? stared at her??? and she was oblivious to it all. She was kind of cracking jokes and and trying to seem quirky. For having period.
​
This morning is the final straw. My first period is in the library this morning because the teacher is sick. A friend of mine is talking about how she might get kicked out and have her phone taken away because she got into a fight with her family. I'm telling my friend about how I could definitely take her in, and another mutual friend is also stating that they could also take her in. Then this girl, multiple times, interrupted to talk about how HER home life is, and how HER mother never lets friends to stay over(even though this isn't a sleepover? it a living arrangement?) , and WOE IS ME. We just kind of ignored her the best we could, with me going "Ok?". Like my friend might literally be forced onto the streets, and you go and make it about ***y o u.***
​
(Just got told by said friend that after this incident that she was talking about being legally blind- and this girl just tells her that she isn't? Wow thanks for curing them!!! Can you get my diabetes next?)
​
She has done this since anyone could remember. She always makes everything about her problems. You can never talk to anyone unless you are whispering to them, or else she was jump in and make it about her self. And at this point some of the stuff she says is so outlandish- we're not even sure where the truth begins and the lies start.
​
The thing is, is that if the conversations we had with her started with her and was about her this wouldn't be an issue. But instead of seeking people out at an appropriate time- she interrupts and makes them about her. Even if it's a serious issue.
​
So WIBTA if I just snap at her? Tell her to mind her business? Tell her to stop interrupting?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
2rgqREBlDSfzgG2CumyCptZa6aRu6Gdt
|
a4k08u
|
{
"description": "being mad at my friend for making me choose who should go with us",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For being mad at my friend for making me choose who should go with us.
|
Quick and simple. My friend wanted to go get food after school with one of his friends coming too.I told him if friend A could come and Friend B. Then my friend said choose just one. I was really weirded out because neither friend A or B wanted to eat in particular but I wanted them to come to hang out. Then his friend canceled on coming after school and then he was ok with allowing both my friends to come along. I was super weirded out and honestly mad that he suggested I choose a friend. He has a seemingly group “limit” idk but I got pissed.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
FYW3aIrtVmXiFiwPrdYMqHxn6aO4E98l
|
a7xrxv
|
{
"description": "needing to tell my Mum that the turkey is too dry to eat when she cooks it on Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for needing to tell my Mum that the turkey is too dry to eat when she cooks it on Christmas?
|
My mum does not know how to cook but like to think she does. Half of her stuff is not edible and she refuses to follow directions for cooking things. I’m sick to death of dry ass turkey on Xmas day but family says I’ll be a dick to tell her I’ll cook it instead of her and that it’s needlessly insulting to her.
Am I really being an asshole or should I just try to cook the damn turkey?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
GBrW8HpBhBPEEjKA8fa9fGeZmg0TKVZC
|
9te6r2
|
{
"description": "thinking that the other kids crying over the game is a bit funny",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for thinking that the other kids crying over the game is a bit funny?
|
So, we have a soccer league sorta thing at our school called FISL where we play games and then have a final couple of games to see which team wins. But, one of the teams, Orange, are really bad sports and end up either being dicks to the other team by taunting them when they win but when they lose they don't give the other team "GG" at all and just go sit down and start crying. They do have 3 members that are pretty chill though that gave a good gade handshake, so extra points to them. But I usually laugh a little bit when they cry about losing the game even though they decide to make the other team feel bad when they win.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
gj42fjFiQmo0sBhD87e83GmsKOHvny6t
|
9tcj2n
|
{
"description": "forgetting to do the dishes whilst busy and depressed",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for forgetting to do the dishes whilst busy and depressed?
|
So in my dorm we made an agreement that we would wash our dishes within 24 hours of use. When I notice that they haven’t washed their dishes, I usually let it slide. It’s not the same vice versa.
I’ve been pretty depressed and anxious as of late and with my mind going everywhere, dishes have been the bottom of my priority.
Roommate #1 made a mess in the living room whilst working on a sculpture and pulling an all nighter. I told her that if she needed help cleaning I was here (I’ve got that weird thing where if someone needs me I can do the thing but can’t do stuff for myself) and attempted to lighten the mood when she said that I shouldn’t do that because it was her mess by joking about how I’m like a shark and I have to keep doing things or else I’ll drown. To which Roommate #2 responded that I could start with cleaning my own messes quite harshly
I have a slight bias towards Roommate #2 and #3 because during our first night they gossiped about how they thought I seemed weird and fake (the walls are incredibly thin). And the two of them often band together since they’re friends and I’m the outsider. But honestly I have had the dishes in the sink for the past two days, and my mental illness is not an excuse. So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
3lWzcw9fqVs7zehp79LC9pH6jhzJWehc
|
aigqn5
|
{
"description": "being upset that my husband wants to redo what I spent my whole day doing",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset that my husband wants to redo what I spent my whole day doing?
|
Our vacuum is broken, so I borrowed our neighbor’s super fancy dyson. I vacuumed ALL day, I moved the small furniture, I picked up every shoe in the entry way, every toy, every last thing and vacuumed under it. I used the hose and vacuumed along all the baseboards and in the corners of the ceiling where there were a few little cobwebs, I vacuumed out the air intake to the hvac, I vacuumed out the lint area of the dryer. I made full use of having the vacuum today.
My husband came home from work, we had about an hour until I had to leave for work. There were dishes in the sink, laundry to be dealt with, and our toddler is sick. Basically there’s plenty of things he could do.
He says - should I vacuum again? Since ours is broken?
I told him I found it hurtful that he wanted to redo what I spent an exhausting day doing - I vacuumed the last couple rooms while carrying our sick toddler.
He said it’s my fault I got offended and it’s my fault I’m upset - he always says this when I get upset - that we are responsible for our own feelings and that nobody can make us upset but ourselves - as if that’s some sort of cop out for being rude.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
gNBkiL206enwoLMyXTd3EZDExerv2Pqh
|
aewzah
|
{
"description": "not wanting to do what my family wants me to do",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to do what my family wants me to do?
|
I am in college, but I still live at home. I work part time at the school I attend and take classes full time. I guess it's fair to mention that I don't pay any bills in the house. Nevertheless, it's really stressing me out how i'm expected to practically drop everything I'm doing to help my parents or brothers with *something.* I normally don't mind if my parents need help with dropping my brother off at practice or something like that when they are busy or just can't be around, but it stresses me out when I have to do something absurd for them while they just sit at home, like take my dad's glasses to go get repaired or to schedule dentist appointments or take someone to their haircut appointment or help with someone's school project at the last minute. I'm at school all day, whether it be at work or in class, and it makes me so mad when I'm tired at the end of the day but still have to act as personal assistant to the rest of my family. I feel like my mom puts a lot of pressure on me to help my youngest brother (who's a little younger than 10) with his reading and writing and math skills, which is something I don't feel well equipped to do. Whenever I try to bring up how stressed I am to my parents, they always bring up how i'm living in the house rent-free and don't do as much as I claim I do and threaten me to not ask them for things. I also feel kind of guilty because I know that if I wasn't living in the house and helping my two younger siblings with stuff they would have a lot of opportunities to do things that they want to do. I don't know, I guess I just feel stressed out, but I don't know what to do. Do I even deserve to feel like this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
tBP01tM2ohXm9bkNnnpx7CjnljaEtDxG
|
b4cdua
|
{
"description": "being rude to a group member",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being rude to a group member.
|
For context, I am a high school student in a film program at my school, I was put into groups by people who don't work at the school and had no knowledge of our relationships or past projects.
My previous mentioned high school film class was invited to a workshop to make a film for a festival. I am in a group with a girl who is adored by teachers and is thinks rather highly of herself. She has a tendency to talk down to people and act like a adult towards classmates, this steps on my toes as I am constantly on the other end. She was made my writer with me in a director roll and was nicer than usual around the ones working with us on the workshop, who now began shutting me down in favor of hearing her ideas. I upset by this and her past actions publicly called her out several times a large number of our classmates have agreed with me privately. I felt the need to step up to her and the people running the workshops. Those in charge have called me out as the asshole, and have called me to act more professional. I then sallowed my pride and sent several emails apologizing for my actions which I do semi regret but still feel she has not changed her ways. She has not responded to me since the most recent meeting despite a deadline coming up for our script. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
fXgqYnv7BT0J7Xm0zPDO5SvASHM1LmZP
|
b1bm8z
| null |
AITA? me and my friend got into an argument about vaccines
|
so basically what happened was i heard that one of my close friends (lets just call her Charlotte) was anti vax so i asked her about it and when she confirmed i got extremely concerned since she had just recently gotten the flu. now before i tell you the rest of this i need to say i wasn't in the best mood since i was only running on 6 hours of sleep and had a rough day at school so when all of this happened i was very aggressive. what ended up happening was after a bit of arguing and telling her she should get vaccinated for her and everyone else's safety she called me a dick, and looking back on the matter now i should have just stopped arguing right then and there but oh no little stubborn me kept trying to convince her that they are good for you and don't do any harm. this is where she actually starts to get a little pissed and sends a couple gifs/pictures regarding vaccines and how they are "bad" for you. this pissed me off as well because of how stupid all of her so called evidence is but i somehow remained calm as possible and didn't act like an ass. she then tells me she doesn't want to hang out anymore and also says that to my friend Sammy (not her real name) and this confuses me since Sammy has been trying to stop the argument but i didn't look too deep into it at this point since i was very stressed out in the moment and couldn't think correctly. fast forward to the next day at school (today) during gym i try to apologize to her since i feel like I've done something bad and i'm in the wrong. i decided i would try to make the interaction humorous so there wouldn't be a ton of tension, and after i had said sorry for about the 6th time or so she kept ignoring me until she told me to go away and slightly pushed me. me being the sensitive idiot i am walked away and tried not to cry. oh and one last thing Charlotte ended up forgiving Sammy and she didn't even have to apologize but when i tried to apologize she just ignored me then pushed me away isn't that just so funny? so anyways i just want to know what you all i think, am i the asshole??
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
nnjcXYAzgLRFa7OFkkUe9SSFLoaTjFTX
|
a02lcc
|
{
"description": "calling my friend an asshole? probably. however, do I owe him an revised apology after he rude about my first apology",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for calling my friend an asshole? Probably. However, do I owe him an revised apology after he rude about my first apology?
|
Prepare for some meta-ass mental cartwheels.
Firstly, I overthink and care what people think of me. According to him, my roommate doesn’t overthink or care what people think of him. Earlier today, he, my boyfriend, and I had a discussion about the etiquette of paying for meals.
I approached it as a spirited debate. However now I see that I targeted my roommate in a long-winded rant. I said something like, “While you might feel like it’s the polite thing to do, you’re actually the asshole for refusing to accept gifts from people.” Note I said “you,” directing the lecture at him regarding a specific instance. That was shitty. He was amiable up until I said "asshole," which he stiffened at.
I apologized for calling him an asshole. He responded by saying that since he doesn’t care what I say about him, he doesn’t need an apology, and that my apology is irrelevant.
I pointed out that even if he wasn’t affected by being called an asshole, I was affected by calling him an asshole. Refusing my apology when it means something to me and nothing to him, does in fact make him an asshole. He laughed, agreed, and left it at that.
While I apologized for using the word “asshole,” I should have apologized for lecturing him in the first place. Looking back, I see my lecture was unsolicited and condescending, which my apology didn't cover.
Since he did a shit job at accepting my first apology, do I bother offering a revised one? Did he refuse because it was not sufficient (something I can change) or because he's spiteful (something I can't change)?
Lastly, if he’s the person he says he is, then he has already forgotten about this. But if he actually cares, then it might make him feel better. Mostly it would make me feel better (but it shouldn’t be about me).
_________________________________
TLDR: I apologized for calling my roommate an “asshole” while lecturing him about etiquette. Really, I should have apologized for lecturing him in the first place. He called my apology “irrelevant” since he doesn’t care what anyone says about him. Would revising my apology make it better or worse?
________________________
PS: There’s a sliver of chance he’ll see this in which case: Sorry again dude, I hope you’re more amused than offended.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
WQ1tMrkwdUZGua5GY7UTHbuHtBosTbS5
|
alnini
|
{
"description": "being annoyed my wife gets mad at me for forgetting things",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For being annoyed my wife gets mad at me for forgetting things
|
Occasionally, I'll forget minor stuff that is unimportant to me and this makes my wife angry - case in point is tonight when she asked if I knocked her hairspray onto the floor, and spilled some. I assume that she didn't do it (hence why she's asking) so it must have been me. I responded by saying I probably did, but don't remember (It was afterr I worked 9 hours, went to the gym, and had dinner, so I'm pretty tired and was just focused on showering at that point). Apparently this was the wrong answer.
She starts going off about how can I not remember something that happened a few hours ago, and swears I'm lying to her. How it would be implausible that I wouldn't hear it or remember picking it up. Frankly, I didn't and was just trying to be honest. I knock stuff over all the time - it doesn't stick out in my memory.
First of all, what would be the benefit of me lying? We don't have kids, and the dog can't reach it. If it wasn't her, it was obviously me. The fact is that knocking something over is something that happens all the time. She has stuff on the counter and sometimes I'm not careful about avoiding it if I'm distracted or doing something else.
Second, if I had remembered or realized at the time, I would have cleaned it up so she wouldn't notice and get pissed later.
I made these points to her, but she was just busy being mad. I ended up cleaning it up, but she still kept going on about how there must be something wrong with me to not remember it and she was pissed at me for "lying" to her. Somehow this also became about me being "holier than thou" about her having stuff on the counter (apparently this is what she got from me saying that there is her stuff on the counter sometimes and sometimes I knock it over by accident).
To me it seems like a huge overreaction. Why couldn't she just accept that I was trying to be honest by saying I don't remember, but I'll clean it up? What really pisses me off the most is that she doesn't ever seem to think she does anything wrong and seems incapable of apologizing for blowing up on me. I apologize for not remembering and she jus stays pissed, with no admission of fault on her part for the argument.
So, AITA for not having a good enough memory of minor things I screw up?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
azj7WYhz4cwYCV44NwS6VRz4zigNu0oX
|
axz0fw
| null |
AITA in these texts to M(18)y girlfriend(F18)?
|
[texts here](https://i.imgur.com/CB9uPnm.jpg)
First time posting, on mobile so bear with me. AITA in this argument? My girlfriend and I have been fighting recently, and she said one of my biggest flaws is I don’t express my feelings ever. Last night she was sick and had to go to sleep early. Normally we sleep on FaceTime with each other (she lives in another state) and I accidentally hung up while browsing reddit :)
Any advice or perspectives would be greatly appreciated as I really feeling I didn’t do anything wrong.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
rGhOrlsGLTzC7RkG8B6cnhRmTL9R62Jt
|
9zlasd
|
{
"description": "wanting to throw my project partner under the bus",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to throw my project partner under the bus?
|
I'm doing a group project for a college assignment that is 10% of our grade. The only thing is, our professor told us that if we are in groups(max 2 people) then she expects a more complex project.
Now we had to learn a new coding language and download a simulator software for it and my "partner" has been claiming it's not working. Here's the caveat though, a friend sent me an instructional video to get the software working and I pulled it off, I pestered him till I got it working and begged him to lend me his laptop if need be. Then another dude from an other group asked me how to install it and I sent him the same video and he got it. This dude in my group claims it's not working and that he's "trying" circumstantially, I can trust him. But the problem is, he has been doing sod all.
1) He hasn't tried to seek my help or even help me. I asked him to research some of the logic/algo that we need and he hasn't
2) I told him to send me his mail id so I could send him the code on google drive so he could at least have an idea of what to do. He hasn't sent me the id.
3) I told him I'm going to the library to get a book to refer to, he said he was in the lecture hall and eating. After our lectures, I told him to find a book, he said he had to go to his grannies place and couldn't work that day. I asked if she was doing okay, he said yeah. So I cant even say that he had family issues.
4) I told him to bring his laptop and to college so I can help him out in getting the license working. He said his dad needed it for office.
5) We had a lab viva session and the professor said he wouldn't leave till everyone got all their lab material corrected. I told this guy to work with me in the meantime Instead he was gossiping and trying to convince others "to finish fast" when he wasn't pulling his own weight. Even when I got him to sit, I was doing more work than him.
.
6) Is a burden cause I have extra work as it is a group and not an individual one.
Have I been the best project doer? Nope, I have wasted hours playing Spiderman, watching the office and researching for fantasy football. But have I been trying to do my own work and get him to pull his weight, yes!
To me it seems like he doesn't even care and when we have to present our project, our professor will ask who did what and I'm tempted to say he did jackshit. He doesn't know how the algorithm works and is gonna not have much to say. For comtext, we are building hardware for a calculator and he doesn't know what logic is to be used as he is only sleeping in classes or gossiping.
The worst thing is, I wanted to do a project for a research paper under the professor with that guy. But I'd need to buy some expensive hardware. I've been putting it off doing a project for long and felt that doing it with him would be great. Now however, I don't know...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
BIKbDcTeHNXooRlZoecSyQhmisFswrTd
|
ahfbsr
|
{
"description": "trying to push a friend out of our hang outs",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for trying to push a friend out of our hang outs?
|
So the first thing that should be mentioned is that the guy in question is super depressed and I'm aware of that. The frustration I have stems from the following issues.
Every week, my and a few of my friends meet up on Saturday to drink, play some Smash Bros., and play some DnD. Additionally, we'll go out and get some food, or go see a movie or something. Basic friendliness stuff I guess. It's always at my place, mostly because I'm the only one with a house and fortunately my wife doesn't care in the slightest. That's all fine. That doesn't bother me.
My issue is that the one friend has some rather outstanding debt to me and another person in the friend group. He currently owes the other friend $60 from a previous purchase, and he currently owes me $90. Let me explain where this debt comes from.
My friend's PC was having a few issues, and being an IT grad, I figured I would take a look at it. I told him it was being suffocated with dust and that was causing it to overheat. Which is true, although to be fair to him, the prebuilt didn't exactly have any dust filters built into it, so that was bound to happen.
Fast forward about a week and a half and I get a text at about 10 pm that it officially shat out and isn't giving any video. So I sigh to myself because I know exactly what the problem is, grab my spare GPU (A GTX 1050, basically something I have on standby for temporary replacments) and drove my dumb ass over. After a full day of work. At 11 pm. In my pajamas without any makeup or anything. Greattttttt.
So I go over, grab my screwdriver and magnetic screw dish from my car, walk in and do the part swap. It's like a 10 second thing. I install the drivers which takes slightly longer, and everything is up and going for him. I told him that since the card retails for $150 (at the time) I would charge him $80 for both the card and my installation services. I felt like that was fair, and I know he has money issues so I told him he didn't have to pay me back immediately, or at some point he could just give me back the card and buy his own replacement (Cuz I lowkey kinda really want that card back. It's the one I use for the youtube and jackbox machine that's plugged into our living room TV) and I wouldn't charge him a dime.
Well...it's been a month now, I know he's bought other things, and I know for a fact neither me nor my friend have gotten our debts repaid. It's *incredibly* frustrating to me to the point that I've been slowly trying to boot him out of these hang outs without saying anything.
Like, I thought I was on the up and up and was right here, but other people have told me to just take the high road and really, I don't know if I'm being the asshole here or not. I'm trying not to be but like god damn my guy.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
NcoCIyZkGWHyJCcOzazTRmWcbvbZqWiQ
|
b60e6w
|
{
"description": "cutting off my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for cutting off my best friend?
|
I’ll start by saying I’m a dude. I’ve been best friends with this girl since early high school. Been through thick and thin together for years and she was like a sister to me. We went to separate universities but still remained very close and saw each other all the time. Really one of the best friends I’ve ever had.
I introduced her to one of my best friends in college. Long story short, he was not a good friend because he was very condescending toward me, blamed me for things that weren’t my fault, and he distanced himself from me when my dad passed away because he didn’t want to deal with it.
I recently found out my “best friend” from high school is now dating my friend from college who treated me very poorly. I openly told her how much I disliked him, and she would agree. And now they’re dating. I completely stopped all communication with her as soon as i found out (I found out through a third party) and so far i don’t regret it. But am I overreacting? Is this something to even hold a grudge over? I have no desire to talk to either of them but sometimes I feel like I overreacted to the situation and i should’ve just talked it out instead of cutting her off. But I feel kind of stabbed in the back from this whole situation also. Just not sure what to do.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
LH2cCWONd1QDJg8gEoKja7oGfjeVOizd
|
a27h23
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk to my dad",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA [24FTM] for not wanting to talk to my dad [65M]?
|
\[note: I totally accept that I will get banned if I delete this, but I may have to delete it unexpectedly anyway if my dad finds this somehow. consequences won't be good for obvious reasons. I'm fine with this because this is a throwaway\]
So I'll try to be as brief setting this up as possible. I have bipolar schizoaffective disorder that I've been in treatment for for about seven years and it's mostly controlled by meds. I have a hard time finding employment due to this and I can't really care for myself, plus my mom is disabled and needs some help with certain things, so I live with my parents at 24. Most people in my life regard me as a man or nonbinary person with the exception of my father, who reserves his right to call me his "little girl". That's why I specified my gender status, sorry if that's TMI. It adds to the friction is what I'm getting at.
My dad really likes to talk to me, usually telling stories about things that happened to him or that he heard on NPR. I'm not really allowed to focus on things too hard or wear earbuds/headphones when he's around because I need to be able to listen to him. He's allowed to listen to music and watch TV when I'm in the room because he has misophonia and my breathing/chewing/etc. annoys him, so I don't consider this unbalanced. However, maybe because I'm mentally ill or maybe just because I'm an irritable person, sometimes I get irrationally annoyed by his talking. I have tried to tell him to stop for a while but he gets understandably upset.
My mom gave me permission to listen to music in the car when he drives me to therapy once a week. This was after some arguments about me not listening or responding to him because I had headphones on. She told him I like to be able to gather my thoughts on the way to therapy, and he pretty much accepts that although he still will try to talk to me (but he doesn't get mad if I don't answer).
**TL;DR:** My dad wants to chat on the way to therapy and I want to listen to music and be quiet while I think.
So, yeah. I realize I'm basically being a petty teenager here when I'm waaay too old for that shit. I'm working on getting out of the house. But for now, am I the asshole for wanting to listen to music in the car ride to the therapist and not talk to my dad?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Lv8tVB48aEQmlyHe4VmWq3qy2q51HV25
|
ax8wyw
|
{
"description": "warning a girl about my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for warning a girl about my friend?
|
This story involves:
Myself,
SO= my significant other
F= my friend
FF= my friends friend
And G= girl that my friend was hanging with
F, FF, my SO and I all decided that we would go out one night. One important thing about F is that he is in a relationship but likes to act like he isn't and I have called him out on this before. Well F decides to invite this girl to come with us, and she ends up being DD and driving all of us to the event we were going to. F's significant other ends up sending him some money to spend for the night.
At the event, everything is fun, I'm dancing with my SO, F is dancing with G. It's pretty innocent although it becomes quite obvious that F and G are into each other.
Anyhow, music is good, drinks are flowing, we are all enjoying ourselves. G seems like a nice enough girl, I talked to her here and there and she seems cool. I realized later I had met her before.
The night comes and goes and we end up all getting back in the car and driving to a gas station. F and my SO get out, leaving G, FF, and I in the car.
G starts to talk to me, telling me that F is very cute, and she likes him. This makes me a bit uncomfortable due to the situation and my drunk mind can't really shut off and ignore it so I tell her "hey, just be careful"
Of course this sparks her interest, she begins asking questions. I keep it quite vague with her, just repeating that she should be careful.
She brings up his "ex" and I say I don't know about an "ex" I do emphasize the word ex. She asks some more questions and I tell her I don't want to say anything else, just repeat again that she should be careful.
I never went into detail, just didn't want her to get the wrong idea of what she was getting into. Honestly I felt bad for her and I just wanted her to be able to make her own decision. She thanked me several times and that was the end of the conversation.
This made FF angry, he made some comments towards me and stormed out of the car. A few minutes later everyone returned to the car and G drove us all to F's apartment. F and G stayed in the car and my SO, FF, and I got out. I told my SO I wanted to go home. She said she wanted to hang out for awhile but I insisted that I wanted to go home. This made her a bit angry and we went back and forth but eventually returned home.
On the way home, I told her about what happened and her opinion was that I should have minded my business and that I was over reacting and we shouldn't have left. I explained I wanted to leave because of FF's reaction to me but she didn't agree with me.
So, Reddit AITA here? Because I really don't know.
TLDR; I went out with friends and my SO, friend who has a SO that actually paid for his night out was trying to hook up with another girl, I told that girl to be careful. My friends friend got visibly angry with me over it and made rude comments towards me, so I noped out of the situation shortly after.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
02mwVJEK7cLlZePZvAoQXxudbZ8Dx7YR
|
aq0qdx
|
{
"description": "letting the air out of someone's car tires after they zoomed up behind me while riding my bicycle and honking, trying to spook me then driving away laughing",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for letting the air out of someone’s car tires after they zoomed up behind me while riding my bicycle and honking, trying to spook me then driving away laughing?
|
Preface, I ride my bicycle in the road. Not in the middle of the lane, but along the curb, staying out of the way traffic mostly. The bike laws here are such that if you are hit by a car or any other incident involving cars where it’s the car at fault you must be riding on the road to be considered for right of way regarding any insurance claims, if you’re riding on the sidewalk you’re considered a pedestrian, and unless you have a walk sign cars have right of way regardless.
While riding my bike in my neighborhood the other day, right around when schools are getting out, a car came up slowed down and got in my blind spot so I could really neither see or hear them and they pulled up real close and honk and then speed away, and I can audibly hear them laugh. Now, I’m pretty fast, I ride light racing road bike. They were in my neighborhood so I follow them as best I could, and then lose them. But I know what car’s theirs and I find it. I go up and knock on their front door, I see one of the kids, looks like a high schooler, and trough the door I hear the kid say to the other, “Oh shit! He followed us!” And he scurries away and doesn’t answer. I was wildly angry, but I was simply going to tell them how dangerous that is for bike riders. Wasn’t going to get violent, wasn’t going to yell. I’ve been hit by cars five times, never been my fault. Cops have always sided with me. I just don’t want it happening to anyone else because some dumb jits think it makes for a good laugh.
So, they didn’t answer. So I decide I’ll get some petty, harmless revenge. Around 12:30 AM I rode over to their house under the cover of darkness and let out the air from his passenger side tires. Hoping when their parents found out they’d have to make up some lie about how/why/ or who caused them to have two flat’s. TL;DR Kids purposely spooked me riding my bike, I got petty revenge by letting the air out of their tires.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
kSEVOQ0wnCkS6QSDG3E2pb6CMwA3r3Ry
|
9xa6nv
|
{
"description": "not agreeing to a change of date of a test",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not agreeing to a change of date of a test
|
Context: I'm 12th grade in high school and my class has 13 people. We only have TWO (serious) classes that we have tests to study for. I'm also not American, so Americans, please try to understand that the system in my country is much more different.
So today in History this girl I can't stand suggested that we change the date from the 22nd of November (note: this date is scheduled since September) to the 29th with the argument of us "having more time to study"(you'll soon realize how ridiculous that is). Usually in these situations, if the teacher agrees, a piece of paper is passed around with the signatures to change the test's date, since everyone must agree. That is, if someone doesn't, they have veto power.
It just so happens that for very logical reasons (which I think aren't revelant, but I'll say them anyway : we have a test of the other class on the 27th (TWO DAYS DIFFERENCE) and we have a shit ton of time to study regardless, so why skyrocket my anxiety), I disagree, and thus didn't sign, being the only one in the end because some other guy that didn't agree as well was persuaded.
Havoc ensued. Everyone is calling me selfish, an asshole, and that it's all my fault and that "it's not fair".
I DISAGREE, I DON'T SIGN. It's my right. If you disagree with the system go talk to the board, I don't give a fuck. I ended up snapping at a girl and telling her to not talk to me again (been meaning to tell her that for a long time though lol).
Am I being the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
Y3m4yltPPT0v4GUIPZvmrYcwnX1XjnCh
|
aq9du8
|
{
"description": "wanting my boyfriend to break it off with a friend who has romantic feelings for him",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my boyfriend to break it off with a friend who has romantic feelings for him?
|
So, to preface I'm a (21M). My boyfriend of 7 years (22M, we'll call him "Alex") met this guy (17M, we'll call him "Brad") a couple years ago and everyone has been decent friends with the guy for awhile. More recently some pretty big arguments between this new guy and another one of our friends (21M, we'll call him "Chris") have been going on, but last night a more serious argument occurred which changed my mind about this guy.
Chris brought up some messages where Brad had confessed romantic feelings for my boyfriend Alex, talking about "oh if only OP wasn't in the way", those kinds of messages. I obviously was not aware of this, though I had some suspicions with how he acted towards my boyfriend. But apparently, my boyfriend was aware of this, and thought I had known.
I told my boyfriend I wasn't comfortable with him being friends with Brad because of his romantic feelings towards him, and the fact that he blatantly stated to Chris in messages that he wanted to be with my boyfriend, if only I weren't in the way. Cut to now, my boyfriend doesn't want to talk to me because I'm asking him to ditch a friend, and has told me that I'm being insecure for being bothered by this.
Ya'll tell me, because I'm worried that maybe I am being controlling, after all it is my boyfriend's friend, not mine. I'm just looking out for our relationship, I would've expected after Brad being friends with me and my boyfriend for about 2 years now and knowing that me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 years, he wouldn't be talking about having feelings for him anymore.
TL;DR: Messages showed a friend Brad saying he loves my boyfriend and wishes I weren't in the way, knowing me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 years. I told my boyfriend that it really bothered me and that I think he should drop Brad, and now he's upset at me. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
iHlFSyEMPHj4HTLWEo9lcAc0PcdVbSFX
|
b639xo
|
{
"description": "making an old person driving to make a sudden stop",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making an old person driving to make a sudden stop?
|
This isn't anything too big but I was going to cross a street between two cars (that were fairly far apart) so that I'll let the first car pass and soon as it goes by I'll start walking so that no car has to slow down and I wouldn't have to wait. But then the first car just quickly stops as the driver sees me going to walk across the street (it was a 2 way road so i actually had to start walking slightly before it had passed)
Nothing happened after that, I just continued walking and kindly waved for the old person driving for stopping.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
O4lIHTzfSOPuof89lW3cBueklMtFSva6
|
aunr1s
|
{
"description": "talking to my dad about my half brother",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if i talked to my dad about my half brother
|
Hi, obvious throwaway is obvious
About a year ago (spring break) I found out that I had a long lost half brother that lives in the otherside of the country. I didn't get to meet him because my dad didnt have a lot of money and a father meeting his son for the first time in 30 years is a very emotionally charged experienced.
My dad and my half brother get along pretty well and he maintains contact with my dad. My dad didnt abandon him, my dad was 22 at the time and the mother didnt want her son to end up like she did with so many walk in and walk out fathers. The mother eventually moved to california and my dad and his son lost contact until late 2017ish.
My dad spent the spring break going to where my brother lived to meet him and didnt tell me until the trip was over because it might have effected my emotional state (i had pretty severe depression at the time)
He says that my half brother is excited to meet me but we dont really have the money to see him. Ive called him a bunch but time zones and his very busy work schedule prevent much contact.
I also feel bad because of this I have two nephews that i feel like im not there for.
I feel hurt that its been a whole year and i havent met my brother yet and feel like i'll never meet him because of money. but I would also feel like an asshole if i talked to my dad about it because it would make him feel bad
WIBTA if i talked to my dad about visiting my half brother
Tdlr; i have a half brother that my dad got into contact with about a year ago. My dad got to visit him and I didn't. I feel like I won't ever be able to meet my half brother and nephews and I want to talk about it with my dad
sorry if this is rambly, ive had a lot of feelings about this
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
lYd2UU81rq9iKEzfwn1IwRb1J76ek8yV
|
a5bhhc
|
{
"description": "thinking my boyfriend is too self centered at the moment",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for thinking my boyfriend is too self centered at the moment?
|
I'm going through a super stressful phase at college right now, with exams and term papers, to the point of crying because of being overwhelmed and stressed out. This has led to me venting a lot to my boyfriend and asking for more emotional support as usual.
He on the other hand has been a bit dissatisfied with how his life apart from our relationship is going. Normally, I'm very caring and understanding but he does have a tendency to complain and can be a bit sensitive to annoying stuff that's part of being human (inconsiderate co-workers, being criticized, etc.).
So whenever I have a low moment and just want to be pampered with words of encouragement, I get a very generic answer and then he'll switch topics. On the contrary, he keeps bringing up the same topics for days at a time and expects me to be nothing but supportive, otherworldly he'll get standoffish.
This has been going on for 3 weeks and I'm starting to get fed up with it. I can't deal with his negativity when I barely get enough support from him for my own worries.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
e86hmAtewzdhscLeBZTL7ZcSTmf2g5pL
|
9u0cdv
|
{
"description": "telling an alleged rape victim to come back with real evidence",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling an alleged rape victim to come back with real evidence.
|
She had no real evidence of worth and I said I am not prepared to ruin an innocent man’s life on the basis of hearsay and that if she is lying I hope she gets sued for libel. I don’t ruin lives without evidence folks.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
ILJ3Abr76t5NIxw0aPsOye82DPtP0c6i
|
9y36v1
|
{
"description": "thinking I deserve more in my friendship",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for thinking I deserve more in my friendship?
|
A little background. We are both in out late 20's and have been close friends for 15 years. I am male and she is female.
So she and I have been close for as long as we have known each other. We have gone on trips together, camping together, spent holidays together, etc. We kind of had an on again, off again relationship but mainly just friends. Nothing intimate ever happened between us but it was always in limbo on if we would seriously date. Eventually I sat her down and we discussed it and while I was fine with either option, she thought it would end badly and ruin our friendship. I was okay with that because I simply wanted to know since not knowing it had been kind of a block for me staring relationships with other girls I dated.
Well, since the start of this year, our friendship seems to be on a decline. Before, we would get together at least twice a month and get dinner, or watch a movie at one of our places, or do something fun. All that changed when the year began. (After we had our relationship discussion) Despite offering to get together literally dozens of times in the first half of the year, I have seen her 4 times total this year. Every time I tried to get together, I would either get a text from her the day after the day I had talked about saying she couldn't, or a text that day saying she wasn't able to and we could plan on doing it some day the next week. I would ask her to just let me know what day would work and then I wouldn't hear anything about it, even when we texted. I got to the point where I just stopped trying, and even though I make attempts every so often, I pretty much know what the answer will be.
We used to text each other pretty much every day with just a "how is you day going" or something funny we saw online. Then it went to I would text and she would respond a day later. Now it has been 5+ days till I get a response for the past few weeks. When I haven't texted, she has been the first to send one to me on occasion.
I just don't understand what is going on. One of my thoughts is that perhaps she met someone and is in a relationship. If so, I would understand her not wanting to spend as much time with me. The only problem is why wouldn't she tell me? We are both each other's best friend (at least we were) Why would she hide something like that from me? The other thought is that maybe I did something that hurt or upset her but I have not been told anything. She does initiate texts with me, and she even invited me on a weekend camping trip a couple months ago with a mutual female friend.
It just feels like I am the only one trying in this friendship and I don't know what is going on. For example, the camping trip is the only thing she has invited me to over the past year. For her birthday, I threw a little party for her, made her requested dinner of pot roast, and baked her a cake. Got her some fun presents as well. For my birthday, I got a short text wishing me a happy one, and that was it. She sent me a text a few weeks later saying she forgot to give me the present she got and we needed to get together to celebrate, but that was a month ago and I have heard nothing else about it. Now, I honestly don't care about presents or anything like that. It was just an example of the seeming difference of what we put in. While I feel like I have put more into the friendship through the time we have know each other (since it is just a friendship, I am fine with that) I just feel like I am the only one doing anything right now.
I am afraid I am acting similar to a jealous bf and I don't want to be like that. I also don't want to let the friendship die as it has been such a major part of my life and I don't have many close friends.
So AITA and acting too clingy and should I just let her live her life because I am not entitled to her time, or do I deserve more from this friendship than I am currently getting?
TL:DR- long time friend stopped hanging out and O don't know why and think I deserve more from the friendship.
P.s. If there are any female redditors out there who might be able to give some explanation on what might be going on, it would be greatly appreciated.
P.S.S Remember, this is only one side of the story. There may be plenty of things that I don't know about. I haven't talked with anyone in my life about it because all the people I would talk to know her and I don't want them to have a bad opinion of her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
VueTlrVtMt2flWeeVNORe5rcwWif6E1d
|
acraz6
|
{
"description": "not paying for my gf's friend's birthday presents",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not paying for my gf's friend's birthday presents?
|
So my gf's friend birthday is coming around the corner and she would like me to contribute something to the gift as she was short of some money to fund it.
However, i do not even know this friend of hers and have never even seen her before throughout our 5 months. She refused to take no for an answer and has even called me a "unsupportive bf and a miser". She has not been replying my texts for the whole of today. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
LGDsiCsbywZWp7NT9vdlIp4yccuAGlqO
|
9u3d1s
|
{
"description": "ignoring your manners and opening my own door",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ignoring your manners and opening my own door?
|
This situation constantly drives me crazy...
Two people simultaneously approach a set of door(s!), one from each side. One of two scenarios typically plays out:
1) Person A holds a door open, letting Person B walk through first, and then proceeds through themselves.
2) Person A walks through a door first, then politely holds open the door for Person B to proceed through.
When scenario 1 plays out, you all know the ridiculous “(“ type arc Person B must walk to avoid brushing up with Person A, while also saying thank you. Or Person A stands there and holds the door for C, D, and E as well.
Same thing for scenario 2. B skinnies up to slide past A holding the door for them. And another meaningless thank you.
BUT IN BOTH SCENARIOS ONLY 1 DOOR GETS USED AND THE OTHER IGNORED!
AITA for saying fuck it and just walking through my own door on the right hand side? Was that not the whole purpose of the design? To be able to accommodate two people at once? The whole thing seems like a weird experiment for people to prove their manners to each other. Establish a hierarchy of who has the best manners. Ever stand there and quip with someone about who gets to hold the door and who has to take the walk of shame?
“No, you go, I insist.”
It’s bizarre. Pointless. Use both doors!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
wfMtTXdKgPzs3HjG80qQYIXLuNWC6M6h
|
b4v6ho
|
{
"description": "wanting to work instead of taking a vacation with my father",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to work instead of taking a vacation with my father
|
I've been out of work for a good month now and this weekend i've received multiple calls backs, i have a vacation coming up in April that i don't want to disclose in the interview as it might harm me. My father is trying to guilt trip me saying "its my choice" and its really heartbreaking because surely your parents would want you to succeed and get back on your feet. he said "you can look for a job after the vacation" but i've been looking for a month and these are the only calls ive retrieved. AITA for valuing a stable job over a week holiday that cost less then £300?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZrblkaxoUmr3F90lzUnObdU47WbXvFR3
|
b8iuu7
|
{
"description": "telling my friends to stop being rude to me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my friends to stop being rude to me
|
To start off, I have two friends. These are the only two people I hang out with and confide in. Me, being a girl, am I lot more emotional than these two guys, and they have made efforts before to be a little less rough when it comes to me as I hold a lot of insecurities. Now onto why this story got blown out of proportion.
​
This morning, I was talking to them very enthusiastically about something, while they listened. They all of a sudden started saying "Ok Tabletopcheckers, alright", acting like I'm a wound up child. We are the same age, and I think of it as very demeaning, since my father used to say it to me whenever I would try to talk about things that I liked. It really hurts me when they do them, and I've brought it up a few times when they do it, saying it sounds rude and there are alternatives to things you can say. I think I could probably toughen up a bit but it just hurt me in the moment, you know?
​
Then I jokingly said I'll be mad for an hour but I'll see them then. They started calling me irrational for wanting to cool down because they were saying I was overreacting and it was pissing me off. Then one of them, which I consider my best friend, says, "Ignore me for five hours Tabletopcheckers, you'll come right back" which hit me insanely hard. I have been in and out of several abusive relationships, staying because I thought I couldn't find anything better. I doubt he meant it like that but it really hurt. All I asked him was to stop being condescending when I talk, and he thinks that I'm telling him to "change his entire personality". Am I the asshole for not wanting to be treated like that anymore?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
s21JYd60nUKtGHVR4WYUPpNAsN0rQWLy
|
at2eig
|
{
"description": "inadvertently ruining friend's birthday surprise",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for inadvertently ruining friend's birthday surprise
|
This happened several years back. My best friend lived in another city with a bunch of mutual friends. Her then boyfriend lived abroad. He had planned something special for her birthday even though he wouldn't have been able to visit and he was in touch with the aforementioned mfs to help him. She visits my city, which happens to be both our hometown, the weekend before her birthday. I was asked by one mf to get one of her gifts as planned by the bf and I was told that I would be reimbursed. It was sort of an expensive gift, not exorbitant but definitely over the budget one would spend for a friend's birthday gift. So we went shopping, stopped by a place for the gift and I asked her to pick the one she liked. She selects one, loves it and I think, fine maybe we should get this. We decide to grab a bite before buying it. And while we were at the restaurant, I receive a call from the mf asking me to abort the plan and that the bf wanted to get it himself. So I forgot about it and when we were done shopping she stopped at the gift shop again, took the one she had picked first and was just kinda admiring it. So this is where I know I screwed up. I went ahead and got it for her anyway. My reasoning being anyway the initial plan was to have me get it so it should be fine and if the bf doesn't want that, it can still be a gift from me. That blew up. I understand that he wanted to get it for her, but it's not such a gift that you can have only one of it.(think handbag, shoes, plush toy). And anyway if her boyfriend got the same one it will surely be extra special. I apologised to both of them. But it ended badly and they ending up fighting. They both stopped talking to me and blocked me on all social media platforms. I truly felt awful, and I understand why the bf was upset but I still feel the reaction was a bit extreme. It was not like I planned to sabotage their special day. Please tell me, AITA?
Note: things are good with my friend now. She started talking to me again after a year and they broke up sometime after that for reasons unrelated.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
fgmFydF6RJkS1r4Wl6JQoVBrkiqwGIMF
|
9zxwzh
|
{
"description": "asking for a cheap exercise bike for Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for asking for a cheap exercise bike for Christmas?
|
Hey! I'm 22 yrs old and my mom is telling everyone that she isn't spending alot of money on Christmas this year. She is kinda freaking out about it but, as long as we get together idc. The exercise bike I'm looking at is 65$ which is cheap for one ( I'm trying to find a cheaper one but so far that's it ) she doesn't know what I want, and the that's the only thing I know I want lol I know 65$ sounds like bad but with past Christmas she has spent alot more so this would be tame compared to the other times, I can get it myself, but I was thinking of asking my mom and was wondering if I would be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
tpifaAFDIZNQStY1YN74ebVP1AWjafq4
|
b41oag
|
{
"description": "calling him weird",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for calling him weird?
|
Context: Discussing NFSW on discord with my favorite small twitch streamer and mutual fans of said twitch streamer (when I say small I mean like 10 views per live stream).
We were talking about NFSW stuff and we all asked him about his kink or fetish because he asked to for recommendations. I honestly don't have a clue as to how and why we were even talking about NFSW. Anyways I was one of the people who asked him (just for fun and as a joke) and he messaged me on snapchat (I'm a new fan of his so I don't know much and I can't say that we're close) about his fetish.
At first, I thought it was a joke and asked if I could expose him to a mutual fan who I compete against for the "love" of our favorite streamer.
He obviously said no. That's when I realized that he was seriously letting it go like a waterfall, exposing a soft and strange side to the streamer that I've watched for a few months. To say in the least... I was weirded out.
Then he kept on asking for recommendations and how he really couldn't get it up for normal porn.... I have no idea honestly. I told him that he was a weirdo for telling me this and that he was sharing stuff that he should with someone he didn't really know...
And that he should be asking his guy friends as I'm a girl who has no idea about this stuff and only talked about it in chat just for the jokes and memes. Like what....
But at the same time I have a difficulty with identifying who is friends with me and who I am friends with... You see? I might not see him as a friend but he might see me as one...
He also said that he was scared to share this with his guy friends and male audience (99.9%). He told me to not expose him or else he would never share his worries (wrong word I suppose) with me ever again.
But at the same time..... Haha.... He kind of gives me the jitters. Like a radical incel would or a closet SJW or a tweaker who's slowly getting addicted or a 40 year old dad who hasn't done it in ten months looking for a snack.
All in all, he kind of got offended, I believe. As he stopped replying less and less and eventually left me on read...
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
MLB9EUat87T04FRGIo2fjNHnahzsYM40
|
all4n8
|
{
"description": "being a light sleeper",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being a light sleeper?
|
My roommate (lets call her E) and I usually wake up around the same time for work. For the past few months, I’ve been waking up a little bit earlier than her, which has been fine because she is the deepest sleeper you could ever meet. I have been able to set two alarms and get up and move around without bothering her in the slightest. However, recently, she has needed to wake up and get to work earlier than me. This would be fine, however, E is *such* a deep sleeper that she needs to set 10+ alarms that she subsequently snoozes to wake up in the morning, and I, unlike E, am a pretty light sleeper. I’d understand setting more than one (I use two myself) but to me the number of alarms E sets is extremely excessive, ESPECIALLY considering she also snoozes them all. This means that E has alarms going off every 1-2 minutes for usually around half an hour. I’ve tried to explain to her that not only is this habit annoying, but it is also inconsiderate, but she always gets mad and says she can’t help it because she just doesnt hear the alarms. The other thing that makes me mad is that she isn’t even trying to improve upon this habit even though living with roommates requires compromising, or at least trying to, on basically everything. So, am I the asshole for thinking she should try to cut down on the alarms?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
L5UMt5mARdT8APq5NdpUmHzbmj7SnAU5
|
amkbu5
|
{
"description": "calling my mom names after she didn't care about my pet lizard potentially dying",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for calling my mom names after she didn't care about my pet lizard potentially dying?
|
So my pet leopard gecko is really fat. Doing some research, I think she might be blocked. I'm so heartbroken over this. I was telling her this and she says "I'm going to sound like a jerk but can I say something?" I said "No." She then ignores me and says "It's not like she costed like $200. She costed $40." I said "Actually $20." My mom laughed and said "You can always buy a new one, get a boy this time." I looked at her with that smug smile and said "What the fuck, you're a psychopath. I love my lizard and you are a fucking awful person for saying that. Fuck off." Walking back to my room she said "Real mature, Parthenaslw." I just said nothing after that. She's with company and she's singing in the kitchen, laughing, and having a good time as I type this. I write this crying not sure what to do with my pet or if she really is blocked. I made another post on r/leopardgeckos. If someone can help me better there. I spent about $1000 on setups, decorations, vet bills, etc on this little girl and my mom has the mentality of she's replacable. I feel like my mom is a horrible human being for saying that. We have a rocky relationship and this shows me she's a psychopath.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
TnrVcGWZNyBDFcU5swTNsOpih3pyKT5Z
|
argk6v
|
{
"description": "not taking full responsibility for my roommate's pitbull attacks on the neighboring animals",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not taking full responsibility for my roommate's pitbull attacks on the neighboring animals? (long)
|
"Jen" (21f), her boyfriend "Bob" (26m), and I (26m) moved in to an apartment complex about a year ago. About a month in, the couple asked me if I would be OK with them adopting a dog. As a dog lover, I was thrilled, and enthusiastically agreed to their proposal of adding a furry companion to our home. I was expecting a labrador, a golden retriever, or something along those lines.
Fast forward a couple weeks and they come home with a massive, male, unfixed, black and brown brindle pitbull with scar tissue on his face from the shelter. I was a little taken aback, but I had grown up around sweet pitbulls and had no aversion to the breed. Jen insisted on naming the pitbull "Sin," which I found distasteful, but it was their dog so I kept quiet.
For the first couple weeks Bob the bf paid a lot of attention to the dog and tried to train him, but it became obvious they were in over their heads. Jen enjoyed their new pet, but didn't contribute to training the animal and simply refused to admit the dog was capable of any wrongdoing.
A few weeks later Bob and Jen break up and he moves out. Jen's friend, Bill, moves in and things seem to be OK. Jen started to get annoyed with Sin as he would whine and bark in his kennel at night. She would yell shut up, but it didn't resolve the issue. Bill and I had full time jobs, but Jen was unemployed which left her plenty of time with the dog. Unfortunately, she didn't really enjoy taking Sin out for exercise and the poor thing was always bounding around the house, raring to go. I volunteered to take Sin on a daily walk to the dog park and play fetch with him. I was happy to do this because I liked him very much and knew he was starved for attention. I also tried to discipline and train him a little as he had gradually started to run the house. Jen would constantly undermine me by validating his bad behavior. If he tore up the couch, pissed on the floor etc. she would coddle him and say its not his fault. I warned her this was not a good idea but she ignored me, saying it was her dog.
After a couple weeks I felt I had developed a good repoire with Sin and had good leash control and basic commands. Around people he was a saint, but around other animals he would become very tense and agitated, not going so far as to lunge at them, but he was very interested. It made me a little nervous and I tightened up on the leash, but so far he had not made any aggressive moves.
Shit hit the fan one afternoon on the walk back from the dog park. The cat from next door hissed at us and Sin bolted at it in a flash. Though I had a good grip on the leash, he slipped the collar and was on the poor thing, instantly ragdolling it. I, stupidly in my panic, jumped in and started screaming and hitting Sin to try and get him to release the cat. The ensuing commotion drew all the neighbors outside to watch, including the crying cat owner. Eventually, I got them separated and dragged Sin into our apartment. I was covered in scratches and blood and very shaken. I am not a small guy and Sin had doghandled me like some chew toy, I was absolutely overpowered. A mob had formed outside and Jen refused to go out to face it. Feeling responsible, I did, and was screamed at and told they were going to call the cops and have the dog put down.
Amazingly, nothing actually happened. I don't know if the cat lived, but the cops were not called. Jen held me accountable for the incident and asked for money for vet bills for Sin's face. Feeling responsible I helped pay. She coddled the dog, saying it was not his fault. I realize it wasn't, but I still was amazed at how she refused to discipline the dog in anyway. She even joked about the cat's fate. Wracked with guilt and anger, I told her that even though I liked the dog I would not take him out ever again. I also advised her that the dog needs some sort of training, but she insisted it was fine. She called her mom, who advised her to get a gentle guider leash. Bear in mind, this is her first dog and she has no idea what she is doing. A few weeks earlier I asked if he was on heart guard and got the pikachu face.
Fast forward a month and tensions in the house are running high. It's awkward in the common space and to make matters worse Bill and her were good friends and both blamed me, essentially leaving me feeling ostracized in my home. I wish this was the end of the story, but it's not. One morning I am packing for a camping trip, which required me to make several trips to my car on the other side of the building. Each time, I was careful to close the door behind me, but you see where this is going. I hear a loud animal fight break out, but it doesn't occur to me at first what is happening. As I round the corner, I see Sin thrashing some little dog around in front of a terrified owner. Once again, my shitty instincts kick in and I manage to pin Sin to the ground in a choke hold after a lengthy struggle with lots of yelling. The other dog is fucked up. The whole thing repeats itself. I drag Sin inside and only then does Jen come downstairs to see what's going on. Her dog and me are covered in blood and I go back out to get berated by the neighbors. On my last trip to the car I must not have shut the door all the way, leaving it cracked, even though I thought I had absolutely shut it. I take responsibility for that, I left it open I guess. Jen scrambles to get Sin out of the apartment complex that day, fearing this would be the last straw. I'm feeling awful once again, knowing I fucked up, but also I am angry. I don't think this situation is fair or all my fault. She does and so does Bill so I am kicked out of the house, which by this point I'm fine with.
In hindsight I realize how incredibly stupid and naive I was. I was not able to control the dog and should not have put myself in that position. But nobody was. Jen confided in me after the first attack that she had to hold on for dear life several times when Sin lurched at other animals. I know I shouldn't have gotten involved, but I tried not to be after the first attack. I should have been more careful with the door, but it was only open for 3 minutes and Sin had an animal in his teeth. Ultimately I feel most sorry for Sin, he doesn't know any better, and his victims. This happened a year ago and I still have some ptsd about the attacks and serious resentment towards Jen. Go ahead and let me have it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
evupGM9HhtoGQXI8FW8c0oFCnenFbZei
|
aajbqy
|
{
"description": "sending my friends a code for a steam game but not telling them that it was a steam game",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for sending my friends a code for a steam game but not telling them that it was a steam game?
|
So I got a extra code on HumbleBundle for a game which I already own so I decided to send it to my friends. I sent the code with the caption "first come first serve", not telling them that you had to redeem it on steam as I figured they would understand it would be on steam because that's the only platform they had games on. A couple minutes later my friend asked me what it was I just told him to find out yourself by claiming it. Later another friend asked what it was I simply said that it was just a game. By now I would've thought they knew it was on Steam. A couple hours later I kept getting flamed for not telling them that it was a steam game and that how were they supposed to know they had to redeem it on steam. I already told them that it was a game and they should assume that it was on steam as that's they only platform they have games on.
AITA For not telling them that had to redeem it on steam?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
quKXTOZGJJ09rAyUzAWnrsyL68LwJ3Sg
|
9zaae3
|
{
"description": "feeling unwanted at work and getting angry over not getting a monitor",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling unwanted at work and getting angry over not getting a monitor?
|
So, this event requires quite a bit of background. I work as a software developer (kind of, see later), just graduated from university. Over summer last year, I worked for a small company (about 8 developers and 2 bosses/managers) doing a programming internship for three months, completely unpaid, even paying for my own transport costs. After graduating they offered me a temporary job for three months to do a short amount of work, with the possibility for extension, which I took. Importantly, my brother works there full time, which is how I got into the company. (would not recommended, not because I don't get on with *him*, as I do, but because it's hard not to worry any tension between me and other people (which I'm great at generating) won't somehow affect him)
I have got on really well with everyone there, including the bosses, Mary and Mark. While Mary and Mark act as management and team leaders, they also do marketing, client relations, presentations etc. Basically everything the company needs that isn't programming.
I really like everyone as people. But as coworkers, they're complete nightmares and do not get along at all. Two employee are always making snide remarks at each other under a very weak facade of "I'm just joking!" causing a lot of tension. Another employee is constantly late, delays meetings, argues with Mark and talks down to people he is supposed to be teaching. Circular arguments getting increasingly louder with immovable egos are incredibly common. Code is always written "my way" with no consistency. The bosses seem perfectly fine with all behaviour, with attempt to reprimand anyone. The way Mary handled my contract broke the law in minor ways at multiple points. Essentially, Mary and Mark seem pretty incompetent at management. It's worth mentioning the entire office is in one room so everyone can hear every conversation. Ultimately, we mutually didn't extend my contract because I did not want to work in that kind of environment.
When I started I was given a pretty old laptop with a fairly damaged screen, but otherwise it did work fine. Ok, I thought, I'll just mainly use a monitor (everyone at the company has a laptop and one monitor, some people have two monitors).
I asked Mary if there were any monitors I could use. She directed me to two old monitors, with a vga to vga cable, when my laptop only takes HDMI. I ask people if there are any vga to HDMI adapters, and they essentially say "there might be some around". The office is a complete mess with no organisation (of course), so I give up after a few minutes and buy one online.
The cable arrives, and the monitors don't work. I tell Mary "I don't think these monitors work with this laptop" and she agrees the monitors are kind of crappy. I take the cable home and test on my own computer, and they do work, and my work laptop does work with my brother's monitors, meaning the fault is with the old monitors. I tell Mary "these monitors don't work". I don't remember the response, but I suppose I assumed I had implied I would like a monitor.
A week later, I mention to everyone during a team meeting, including Mary and Mark, that my monitors don't work. Nothing still happens so I think "fine, I'm just a temp. Maybe their budget doesn't extend that far" and left it, except sometimes jokingly mentioning to the others how nice it must be to have two monitors. I also mention in private to my brother how hard it is it work with no monitor, but I thought the issue was closed.
In their defence, I don't think I ever actually directly asked for them to buy me a new monitor, but it didn't really seem appropriate as a new employee and I wasn't really sure whether the employees bought and owned the monitors they used or if the company did (as it turned out, the company did), or what the standard procedure for well, anything was, bearing in mind this was my first professional job and I didn't want to overstep any boundaries. I also didn't have any kind of "this is how things work here now" as I had gone from an intern to an employee, and it had been a year.
I work for two months and the job I was supposed to be doing falls through and I get moved onto doing testing instead of programming, which is *not* what I agreed to, although it does say in my contract they can make me do whatever they think is appropriate. I do not like testing and am not good at it. The little bit of programming I'm expected to do is in a language I don't like and is back-end, when the original work was basically the exact opposite of these two things. I'm unable to do it and my brother has to take it from me, making me feel incredibly stupid and embarrassed. I do nothing and learn nothing for two months, making me already incredibly bitter and feel like I'm utterly wasting my time.
During this time there were a few other things that made me feel undervalued and completely unwanted there. Not unwanted personally, but professionally. However, I know I can be a little paranoid, so I ignore it I put down the way I've been treated to incompetence rather than intent. It'll be over soon anyway.
Two months are past and I have two weeks left. A new guy, Bob, starts working there temporarily for a few months just like me, same age as me too, although he's there to help with the management side of things rather than "programming". Mark is away on business and has been for a week or so, so Mary invites Bob to sit at Mark's desk and use his monitors until he gets back. I'm a little annoyed I hadn't been asked to sit there while Mark was away but whatever, I hadn't thought of it either.
A few days after Bob starts, Mary walks in carrying a brand new monitor in a box. Somehow, I already know what she's going to say.
"Bob's new monitor has arrived!"
Apparently there wasn't a budget, there was just complete apathy. I'm absolutely livid. The angriest I have probably been in years. I want to fucking scream at someone, though I'm not sure what or who at. "But *I* wanted a monitor!" probably wouldn't achieve much. It's ridiculous over a fucking *monitor*, but I'm shaking with anger. It's embarrassing. Fortunately, I sit in the corner (worst spot in the office, obviously) and have my headphones in so I sit there for a bit until the conversation dies down and everyone is at their desk. I then go outside and calm down until I stop shaking. I sit back down and try to pretend everything is ok, which really, it should be, but my voice is still shaky and I'm so angry I can't concentrate on my work for the rest of the day.
Now, as Bob is brand new and was already using a monitor, I doubt he asked for a monitor, Mary would have bought him one.
Somehow the conversation gets back onto monitors and I say something like "As Bob has a new monitor, could I have a monitor please?"
My brother responds with "oh, did you actually want a monitor?".
Although it's not his responsibility to buy equipment for me, it's Mary's, this still pisses me off. I say as calmly as possible while still an irritated voice "*Of course* I want a monitor. I mentioned *multiple times* that the monitors you gave me don't work".
"Oh, I didn't know that". Which is a blatant lie. I'm not sure how much clearer I could be than "these monitors don't work".
My brother gave me one of his monitors that works, but it's all a bit bittersweet. Mary still hasn't bought me a monitor.
Just to clarify, I'm not angry about Bob getting a monitor and me not, not really. I'm angry that Mary decided that Bob would get something she should have known I needed to be efficient. Someone that did not spend three months doing completely free work and someone that did not spend two weeks trying to politely prompt her. How else am I meant to feel but unwanted in that workplace?
I'm angry at the complete apathy I feel is directed towards me, for no apparent reason. I'm angry that I'm treated like an intern not an employee. The monitor was just the final straw. If I wasn't leaving already, I would think about quitting asap.
So I don't think I'm an asshole for being annoyed about the monitor thing, but am I the asshole for being being entitled? Am I the asshole for being as angry as I am over something trivial? Am I the asshole for not trying hard enough to communicate and then getting angry?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
76DgtNIviuxZDOzBmbS8vHm8Nc4jVjmT
|
al5mz7
|
{
"description": "not wanting to meet my uncle's adopted child",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to meet my uncle's adopted child?
|
Ok, so I'm brazilian and this is important for two reasons:
1) Our families are larger and everybody is much more dependent on one another comparing to northern countries - people here usually stay at their parents' houses until they can fully support themselves or get married, and lots of families (such as mine) remain at their hometowns until death or something special like a job offer happens. Therefore, it's unlikely that I can just ignore this issue as I'll probably be pressured to meet them in a near future.
2) The recent presidential election really divided the nation in people who support Bolsonaro and people who strongly oppose him, like me. It was no surprise to anyone that my uncle would vote for him: he's always had extremely racist, homophobic and misogynistic opinions, and had no shame on sharing them even before Bolsonaro made it "OK".
The thing is during the campaign things got really intense so I decided to cut bonds with him, even writing a message to my family stating I could no longer regard as my relative someone who supports the execution or exclusion of 80% of the people I hang out with. At the time most of my family supported my decision, since everyone was very nervous about the possibility of the now president winning. However, now that things have settled down and with a new baby on the family, everyone is surrounding him with love, something I just don't feel comfortable on doing no matter how much I respect and applaud his decision of adopting a child with his wife. I wish all the best for their family but I have no intentions on meeting them right now, as I would have no idea what face I'd keep or what I'd say to someone who is absolutely the opposite of me. I am sure that my mom will say that I'm an asshole if I tell her all of this when eventually my time comes to go there, so I need to check others' opinions first. So Reddit, am I the asshole here? Also, Am I an asshole for sincerely feeling sorry for this kid's likely education, even though he is much better with a supporting family?
tl;dr: I cut bonds with my racist, homophobe uncle and have no intentions on meeting him just because he now has a child. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
jpslhsHJZbxP4alCHxye9kNheNSQr7w7
|
akg1tr
|
{
"description": "hanging out with my ex without telling my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For hanging out with my ex without telling my girlfriend?
|
Context:
My ex and I dated for like a few weeks three years ago and then broke up because she was leaving to travel abroad. We both moved on, not a big deal. We ended up back at the same school about a year later and decided to just be friends rather than try and pick back up.
Fast forward to today, me and my ex are still good friends and she lives in the same building complex as me, so we hang out pretty often.
My girlfriend is pretty shy and has commented that she is afraid that I'm going to find someone prettier or less difficult and leave her. My girlfriend knows that I'm friends with my ex and that we hang out. They even met at a house party last month.
My question is, AITA for still being friends with my ex and hanging out with her without telling my girlfriend?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
gaJBaaHfLSQho81P64SDGe6HEOzyI0c3
|
amw6ca
|
{
"description": "asking friends to not bring up sensitive subjects",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking friends to not bring up sensitive subjects?
|
So around summer last year, I stopped talking to a close friend of mine that has quite a few mutual friends with me. Yesterday, one of those mutual friends claimed I was being unfair by asking them to not bring up the friend that I had stopped talking to because they're still friends with them and that I can't expect them to filter themselves just because I don't want to talk about it. Am I being unfair by asking them to not bring up someone who I'm not friends with anymore?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
dSzvgHXo66vtwPV99nbXwqRBPkBo4bcs
|
b370td
|
{
"description": "doing my own thing in Vegas during a bachelorette party because the group was being lame",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for doing my own thing in Vegas during a bachelorette party because the group was being lame?
|
Friend recently had a bachelorette party in Vegas, about 15 guests, everyone had to travel. The guests were a mixture of grad (including me), undergrad, and a few high school friends.
​
Sister is MOH, but nobody really took charge organizing. There were a few things the bride-to-be wanted to do, including a open bar Ferris Wheel and a Drag Brunch, but they were about 2-3h of the entire weekend.
​
Grad friends and I tried to research things to do and take advantage of our time, but the undergrad friends were impossible to move. In response to any suggestion, they would hem and haw and reject all ideas by wasting time without ever suggesting anything. We asked the bride many times what she would prefer, but she just always said she was fine with whatever.
​
Grad friends were interested in going to a Vegas nightclub. The first night, we got dinner nearby then went to some regular bars next to our casino. Fun, but basically not any different than we could have done locally. The next day we brought the idea up again, but the undergrad friends expressed doubt about lines, cost, the dress code, and some worried they would be charged a cover if the bouncer didn’t find them attractive enough.
​
Later we went to a Thunder Down Under show based on the recommendation of the high school friends, and afterwards we spent at least 20 minutes standing outside while people debated what to do next. Nobody else had an idea.
​
Undergrad friends were hungry, so grad friends and I suggested they (and bride who was also hungry) eat while check out the club before it opened. If it seemed like a douchey place then we could come back, if not they would come meet us. We did that and we tried to call them and tell them we got on the guest list, but they only told us they were “lost” and seemed incoherent.
​
Ended up going to the club anyways instead of spending the night with the bride, and we stayed there for several hours. It was very fun, and it was by far the cheapest thing we did the entire weekend. Got our cover waived because we dressed appropriately and got there early to avoid lines, got free drink tickets, and after a while our promoter came in and made his own drinks that he also gave us for free.
​
Later found out that the rest of the group spent the next hour and a half going between different fast food places and went to bed by 11:30. Which makes it hard to regret ditching them. It was very expensive to go on this trip, and I feel like it would have been a total waste if we hadn’t done some Vegas-specific things. But I do feel badly that we didn’t spend the night with the bachelorette. She hasn't expressed any dissatisfaction with the weekend, but I still feel guilty.
​
tl;dr: A group of us ditched the main bachelorette party to go to a club in Vegas instead of spending our time with the Bride-to-Be wandering between fast food joints.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
ggKlhyVysnk8muoisE8J1vdFxOMV93cT
|
awiexd
|
{
"description": "telling my friend she was being childish",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I told My Friend She Was Being Childish
|
Our prom happened on my friend's birthday. Let's call her Nic.
Nic's mom was PTA pres and so could choose when prom happened (with a range of late Feb-early March). March 1st was chosen for 1.) being a Friday 2.) being the only Friday without another school event happening at the same time 3.) being her kid's birthday so she could save a bit before the big 18th birthday debut next year. Side note: they were very, very, ***very*** rich enough to not *need* to save, but extra bucks is always good, right?
​
During the prom program, Nic is upset and all pouty. She talks to no one but her boyfriend, and only after the prom at a private party at a small bar at the hotel we were staying at (mine and Nic's friend circle + her mom and boyfriend) does he relay the message to us friends to find a way to leave the place because Nic was Not Happy Being There because she didn't have her own birthday party or even a cake or gift, and she felt that a small private party instead of a grand celebration like she had every other year but this 2019 "demeaned" her birthday.
​
We friends hold in rolling our eyes. We know Nic has high standards and gift-giving is hard because 1.) she's rich 2.) she likes material gifts 3.) she's picky about what she receives and she *will* say it to your face if she hates your gift (Side note 2: this is the one year we didn't give her a gift because prom preparations. most of our circle is also not rich, so prom alone is a big hole in our wallets), but because birthday we restrain ourselves and pull her away from the bar in hopes she'd be happy.
​
She wasn't. Pouting and stomping the whole time all the way up to our room. I get she is the youngest in our circle by a year, but I am two seconds away from giving her a private talk at school next week about her materialism and childishness, but WIBTA if I went through with that?
​
TLDR: Rich friend upset by not having bday party/gifts. I want to call her out on it next week. WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
HscoPLGS68G26L3hXr4hdrZRNumNwl6R
|
abwldo
|
{
"description": "expecting my husband to cater for my sexual needs",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA(F29) for expecting my husband(M34) to cater for my sexual needs?
|
TLDR at the end of he post
I am a person with a rather high sex drive - i need sex often and feel real bad when I am deprived of orgasms. What I mean is daily to feel happy and every other day to function without missing it.
I've been with my husband for over 6 years, we went through different times - moved in together, I got pregnant, had our child, bought and are currently paying for our home together, etc. I knew I needed a sexually active partner as this is one of the reasons why my previous relationship ended - my ex and I got to a point where we were intimate once a week or even once in 10 days. We had other issues as well of course.
Anyway, so my husband and I were frank in the start or our relations and he knew how important intimacy would be for me.
About a year and a half after our child was born we had our bedroom finally to ourselves and surprisingly started having less sex than ever. He was always tired or not in the mood or had a headache, etc. This lead to an incredible tension in our relationship and made me feel alone and unattractive. I realised I needed to take care of my own needs instead or relying on the person who supposedly wanted and loved me.
Fast forward one year, he confessed that he has been masturbating almost daily. He did need to relieve his needs but did not feel like getting intimate with me because it takes more time and efforts.
He says I have been putting too much pressure on him to be intimate and this way have been pushing him away. I do get very nervous when sex deprived and become a naggy evil version of myself.
I have always believed that when in a relationship the greatest part of one's sexual activity would be involving your partner so was extremely dissapointed that he preferred his own company to mine.
Just to add as it may be relevant - my physical appearance has been affected by the pregnancy but not too significantly - I am not a supermodel but still good looking in my humble opinion and when we do have sex it has and still is great for both of us. I have also been open to new ideas and practices and only refused one of his ideas as I was physically incapable of assuming the position 😁
So is it too much to ask when you are in a committed relationship with a person with a similar sex drive for them to come to you when the mood strikes, instead of taking care of themselves only?
TLDR AITA for expecting my husband to have sex with me when feeling horny instead of masturbating and keeping me away?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
zYPgFvsSyhTzw7J9fETdNerSquuF5rP4
|
a0nfl0
|
{
"description": "turning in a Nintendo Switch knowing one of the joy-cons drifts sometimes",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if i turn in a Nintendo Switch knowing one of the joy-cons drifts sometimes?
|
So i have had my switch for about 1.5 years, warranty about to expire. I am not completely sure what the problem is, but sometimes the left joy con is acting weird, not sure if it's actually broken or not (sometimes the input would register as going upwards while not touching the stick at all). There is a really nice pokémon themed bundle right now, containing some things i would buy anyway. Long story short, if i give the story my used switch, i get a serious discount. I am not sure i would get the full discount if i tell them about the joy con, probably not. Honesty gets you furthest in life, i'm all about that, but this bundle would be so nice to have and i don't have the money to pay more, my friends also pointed out that the store does a routine check up of the system and such, so it is their responsibility and not mine, so i shouldn't be upfront with them and just see what happens...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
BqTfwk2yD2x2GxjfIODdsJs7UmKvQJIZ
|
au7z16
|
{
"description": "breaking it off with high school friends",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for breaking it off with high school friends?
|
I am 17F and I graduated from high school last year. I also had depressive/anxious tendencies for a while as a result of bullying primary school that made it difficult for me to keep friends.
Throughout high school, I had a large group of friends, about 15 people, both guys and girls. We all liked the same things, had lots of fun times together and there was hardly ever any drama. Everything was fine and good. Until Year 11, when negative thoughts started surfacing. I assumed it was just the pressures of senior school and then Year 12 rolled around. I became more introverted, hardly ever going out to social events/parties with them and on the rare occasion that I did, had a supremely terrible time due to my thoughts. I eventually came to the conclusion that I had to leave this group, as I didn’t belong with them anymore and they didn’t need me anyway. I started seeing a counsellor around the middle of last year to cope and under her advice, I made a small group chat with about 5 of my friends. Everybody there was very willing to help but were reluctantly supportive of my wanting to leave if it ever came to that.
All of them except my best friend at the time, let’s call him Bill. He offered to help whenever I needed it but was very adamant that he, and the group as a whole, wouldn’t let me go, which really bothered me. After my 6 month trial with the counsellor ended, I immediately had a relapse and I’m certain this was because I hadn’t gotten away from the problem. I had made up my mind: they were enabling these thoughts and I needed to get away from them. Following this decision, graduation came and went, I left all the group chats I was in with them and declined all invitations for get togethers.
That was in late December and I had gone about 2 months without speaking to them. It hadn’t been long but I already felt worlds better, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. However, 2 nights ago, Bill got in touch with me. I tried to make it clear I wanted him to leave me alone but as he is very stubborn, he still didn’t listen. He said something along the lines of ‘nothing changed, you were supposed to be our friend for a lifetime and that hasn’t changed’ which really got on my nerves. I practically exploded at the guy for that, telling him not to delude himself, to forget about me and stop texting me because the only thing that will come of it is negativity, etc.
I was so sure that I made the right decision, though as I’m writing this I’m starting to doubt myself. I believe that friendships are a 2 way street and if one or more parties are unhappy, it won’t work out and they should be allowed to sever it.
What do you think, guys? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
bLKLDwrowKg0n4gbhY39eDLPYU98v2PM
|
ag4wen
|
{
"description": "getting upset for an IG comment",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting upset for an IG comment
|
I recognize my own part in the assholery in some ways for snooping through people my partner followed, but I found a comment along the lines of "those lips" on a pic of a girl, meanwhile he almost never likes my photos on ig and says he doesn't want photos of us up there because of privacy concerns.
I got into it over that comment and he goes "hehehe I knew you were snooping " and it blows up into me saying I feel stupid for telling him i love him and doing all these things when he doesn't feel the same, and how I know it's not his fault but just how he can't control how he doesn't feel, I can't control how I do.
He then asks if I want to stop this, and I thought he meant the conversation so I said yes.
Turns out he meant the relationship. And I told him I don't want to break up over text of all places, over something stupid, and that I didn't know what "I love you" meant to him but to me it didn't mean escalating our first fight into a breakup.
I understood him being upset, but I think at least I warranted a phone call. I tried calling him but he didn't pick up.
So am I the bigger asshole, I suppose, or is he?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
UhDoIjQsuX8rJCY5umcG1UsqijPBoYRc
|
9zlwbs
|
{
"description": "kicking my girlfriend out on the street",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for kicking my girlfriend out on the street?
|
So some background information: me(22m) and her(22f) had been dating on and off for a while, mostly on sometimes off, and it's always been because I've been weary about committing in general, let alone with her.
See I care about her a lot but I get out of the Navy soon and plan on moving and going to college and don't want the baggage. Also I'm not sure I could commit to her longterm because she has no real drive or direction in life(she got a DUI and then got kicked from the navy a year later) and I'm not willing to support her forever. She's really sweet and good to me but can't get her shit together.
Anyhow, me and her were dating but living in seperate apartments. After she got the DUI and kicked out of the service her Insurance and car payments(she bought a brand new car, financially irresponsible I know) were too much for the job she was working so she decided to move back home to afford her car(Neither of us live near any family and her family is 6 hours away in Jersey). Well she was always texting me about it back at home and she was miserable and ended up couch hopping and sleeping in her car. I missed her and thought "maybe I can help her out and get my girlfriend back for a while by letting her crash with me". So I asked if she wanted to move in with me rent free until she got a better job and got back on her feet.
She's been with me 2 months now. As a stay-at-home girlfriend she's great but she hasnt made much headway as far as 'getting back on her feet' is concerned. She found a job waitressing but it didnt make good money and she hated it so she quit. I told her not to and to keep the job until she found a better one(since low money beats no money) and she asked if I'd be angry if she quit. YES. I WILL, YOU DON'T PAY RENT AND YOU'RE APPROACHING 90 DAYS DELINQUENT ON ALL YOUR BILLS! She quit anyway and I got pissed and told her that if she doesnt have a job within the next month I was kicking her out with literally nothing going on in her life.
She doesn't seem to be purposely sucking at life, she gets really stressed about her position and recognizes it's her fault but still makes poor decisions and life choices(like quitting her job when shes in crazy debt)
So Reddit, WIBTA for kicking my girlfriend out of the house with no job or money if she really can't find a job in the next month?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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iaBmRyNgNChII0b9dbdJt2uzWbjunpNg
|
b97o0d
|
{
"description": "telling my boyfriend he isn't trying hard enough to be supportive",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for telling my boyfriend he isn't trying hard enough to be supportive?
|
Our relationship is generally healthy; however, whenever I'm having a bad week it goes to shit. Recently, a lot has been going on in my life. A family member is very ill, I've been overwhelmed with schoolwork and work-work, and I've been trying to find a job for after graduation, which I need because of financial issues. On top of that, we've been looking at apartments to move in together, but because of his work schedule I've been doing all of the looking and contacting.
​
This week has been particularly bad, so I asked for his support and to just listen when I want to rant. There were a few times where I had to remind him he should just listen instead of giving solutions or trying to involve himself in the situation. After a few times of reminding him and him not listening, I got increasingly frustrated. Finally, I got angry and said its not fair that I have to be the one helping him be supportive, and that's not real support. He says that its unfair for me to say its not real support because he likes when I give him directions when he's stressed so he's doing the same. I countered with the fact that our forms of support are different, and while he does get credit for trying, its clearly not a huge effort because he never changes (its been years).
​
After two days of fighting, he finally agreed to try to do better. BUT he won't take the time to actually talk because he's so busy, and he doesn't have any actual solutions to make sure this doesn't happen again. So I said he needs to try harder; he made my already terrible week so much worse, and I'm not going to settle on an apology anymore. I said he isn't trying hard enough to help when I need it and I end up in much worse shape. He said that's unfair because he should get credit for being supportive, even if it isn't helpful.
​
So reddit, AITA for telling my boyfriend he isn't trying hard enough?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
lFHa7zWskXyKwkKB5efu9P4RLlXbtdwl
|
b33oyd
|
{
"description": "cutting off one of my friends",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for cutting off one of my friends?
|
Last semester, I meet a cute girl with a mutual friend in the library, ask for her snap, etc. Her and I go on to have two more awkward encounters before the last day of finals where I invite her to a party at my best friend’s house later that day. At the party, she meets my best friend and they hit it off and start talking. They talk over winter break and things sort of fizzle when we come back, and I start to become good friends with her because we have a class together.
About a month later, I’m pretty much talking to her on the phone every day for 2+ hours, and staying after our last class to hang out with her for the same amount of time. She has become one of my closest friends. I let her know that I’m uncomfortable with her and my best friend doing anything (which she says she’s ok with). She introduces me to her best friend and my best friend, her, her best friend, and I all go to her house when she her parents aren’t home. I hook up with her friend and she hooks up with mine.
Her friend and I decide that it was a one time thing and my friend and her decide to become fwb. Then, all she talks about is my friend, and she claims to be in love with him (after a week or two). I tell her that I don’t think I can be a part of this friendship because I feel used and that our friendship has been more about my best friend rather than our own personal relationship. It particularly struck a chord due to my own feelings of inadequacy and constant comparisons to my best friends (which I had confided in her about).
Tl;dr I meet a girl, she meets my best friend, things don’t work out, we become friends, she tries again with my best friend, and I cut her off.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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RIGHT
|
wkESczo770wYBHFqNm9ZkVMU78tBv9mY
|
9xkc67
|
{
"description": "telling people to think properly",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling people to think properly?
|
I'm a president in a club in high school that organizes a lot of events, and part of my job is to assign and distribute projects to the members of the club.
A few days ago, we had a club meeting with the college's management to discuss the progress of our events. Everything was going pretty smoothly until one of the leaders of the project said something that kind of triggered me. ( I'll refer to him as G)
We were suppose to order custom made t-shirts for one of our events. But G said that he already ordered the shirts without consulting us. He has no ideas what the budget is, and the number of people coming to this event. Admittedly I was kind of pissed but I held my cool until the end of the meeting. I then asked if I could meet him personally after.
In our one to one conversation, I said:
'Hey, G? Can I ask what is your thought process? What were you thinking?'
He didn't say anything, probably knowing that he did something wrong.
'Look, I'm not mad. But what you done there is very risky. What happens if we overspend?' then I kept going on without him muttering a word.
'Next time, please consult us (the committee) before doing anything. We have a limited budget, so please think properly before you spend. '
After that he left without saying another word.
Was I too harsh? I wasn't aggressive or anything, but AITA for telling him to consult us and think carefully before doing anything?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
kZnxeV7gaQN7abl1kiEXU1HUU2GTY8z6
|
ahjall
|
{
"description": "having bad work history and using my ex/best friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for having bad work history and using my ex/best friend?
|
I'll keep this short and succinct; right to the point.
I have a shit ton of disabilities (diagnosed with C-PTSD, COPD, BPD, IVD, etc etc) due to getting the shit beaten out of me by my parents and generally being sickly kid.
​
Ex saved me from suicide/abusive family members after my grandfather forced me to go into college against my will at 16/17 (it was either that or being a "pussy bitch" for complaining about not having a mask while working with black mold or having to clear several acres of Hogweed by myself.) I planned to kill myself and entered into very, very bad "don't care ruining my life fuck you" tendencies; including prostitution.
Moved to live with ex, was rocky but I tried my best for those 3-4 years (broke up because of me being hollow and her cheating on me along with some... questionably forced sex from them.) I have been out of a job over the past 1 1/2 years, due to my mental+physical illnesses/"bad" job history/ and semi-successfully freelance illustrating. During this time, I've been working hard on improving our mental health (she works a stable job and has medicine for depression+anxiety; I do not.) I cook meals to provide him with balanced meals, clean, do any chores and errands so they don't have to, coupon chasing (can't get groceries myself,) providing on bills when commissions are steady, blah blah blah.
​
I've recently been trying to get a stable job but my resume is completely fucking garbage due to all of this. I've lost/quit jobs in order, for:
Stealing food that was going to be thrown away from the kitchenette as it was either that or both of us starve.
No called, no showed after getting sexually harassed and humiliated by the assistant manager, (who would feel my ass and between thighs area, work overtime every day I was there, and made me make orangutan noises for my paycheck.)
No called, no showed after trying to kill myself a couple times.
My work ethic however was top notch (barring sometimes being depressed and not forcing smiles, eesh.) Usually worked 8+ hours, covered anyone's shifts if they asked (grammas love you if you let them go home an hour early to visit their grandkids!!!) If it's slow I helped restock, helped others with their stations/cleaning, and usually came in 15\~ minutes early everyday.
TL:DR- **Am I an asshole for "forcing" my roomie to work their job while I do the housework/errands, contribute with commission money, and working on my portfolio-- instead of trying to get food service jobs (with an overall "shady" work history) that will affect my mental and physical health, but provide stable income?**
​
Thank you for your consideration and judgement ~~my brain won't stop guilt-tripping me.~~
|
HISTORICAL
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TR1DIntrfypKIHb1NabgKET757gftybD
|
b3t7vu
| null |
AITA Tried to be chivalrous, but appeared the opposite.
|
This happened a few years ago, but it still haunts me. A little background: I was in an intense relationship where my gf at the time was very verbally abusive. Sometimes even physically. I stayed in it too long and have a little baggage, as a result. This was before the incident, though.
So anyway, I was at a college party a few years ago and we were drinking. This was in a place that had a layout that had like cottages in the woods, with no lights outside. So it was pitch dark outside.
There was this one bitch who would snap at me in class the entire semester any time I tried to be friendly. The way only a super bitch would do. I never liked talking to her, but she was a physics partner, so I was really forced to.
So I was drinking in one of these cottages with some acquaintances, and that bitch was there. She went to leave and said she was going back to her cottage. I noticed she was kinda drunk, and I really didn't want her to get hurt in the dark by tripping or something. But I didn't want to embarrass her. But without thinking things through, I said, "wait, do you need help going back?"
"Why the fuck would I need help", she snarled. She was already pissed off.
"Well, I didn't want to embarrass you, but you seem really drunk. I thought you needed help so you wouldn't fall outside." I didn't realize it, but my tone had changed to match hers. Which is what I used to do with my abusive ex-gf.
Apparently, this terrified everyone in the room, who was understandably unclear what my motives really were. Nobody there really knew me. The next day, almost everyone was trying to avoid me. Was I the asshole for trying to protect someone I didn't even like, let alone wasn't even attracted to?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
ZOs35EfjTwFPKmx7L0ySotcaBC4v2hz0
|
afdwbn
|
{
"description": "not always hiding my discomfort towards the smell of smoke",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not always hiding my discomfort towards the smell of smoke?
|
Little bit of context to start things off.
​
My biological father (if you could call him that) was a heavy smoker. Whenever he would drop me off at school he would constantly be smoking in the car, or he would be smoking in the house (I lived with my mother, but stayed at his every other weekend). On top of the constant smoking, when the driver-side car window broke, he decided to still smoke in the car, instead having my window rolled down (Whenever I tried to get into the back he got extremely pissed off at me.) so the smoke would pass right by me. Eventually I walked out on him for reasons I'd rather not get into (though I will say, best decision of my life, haven't looked back once), but even after over half a decade it's left me with a very negative association between him and cigarettes.
​
On top of that, I just *hate* the smell. It brings me close to gagging every time, and it takes everything I have to not start gagging, and I can't always hide my discomfort of the smell. When possible I'll just distance myself from the person or people smoking, but it's not always possible.
​
So, on to why I came here. The last time I babysat for my sister, she got pretty annoyed at me being visibly uncomfortable after she had went out to smoke, and we ended up getting into a somewhat heated argument in which I was told to "get over it".
​
TL;DR - Am I the asshole for not being able to get over my negative association and general disliking of smoking?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
UvJPtJCCQqnI30OdKIOoy2qjv75mkdYj
|
al1u9u
|
{
"description": "ignoring my best friend of 4 years to hang out with some new friends",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ignoring my best friend of 4 years to hang out with some new friends?
|
Now to start this off, I don’t hate the friend I’m ignoring, but it’s bugged for for awhile that they don’t ask me how I am as a person (was depressed for a couple years), & the group of friends I hang out with now really care about me, & ask me how I am. I don’t feel as pressured.
It’s really been bothering lately because I always try to find an excuse to not speak with them.
AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
U8eubCqwGNGchqNdCDzydijnAhZ1vQsA
|
a8h76f
|
{
"description": "getting with a friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting with a friend
|
I (Male) have known this girl for about a year now. She's been in an open relationship with someone not at our college for as long as I've known her.
We've been on multiple nights out (with other people) and it was obvious she was into me but I didn't feel comfortable getting with her at the time because another of our mutual friends was interested in her.
One night 2 months ago when I was out with her and some others, she was being flirty as usual and dancing with me/grinding on me for the entire night. We had both fallen out with the mutual friend that was interested in her, so I didn't feel guilty and went for it.
We made out for a bit and she wanted to have sex but I didn't because it was really late (5:30am - I had to wake up in 3 hours), and she seemed more drunk than me so I was unsure.
The next morning she texted and asked me to not tell anyone because she was "really drunk and has a boyfriend". This was the first I had heard that she was no longer in an open relationship (I assume that happened over the summer vacation).
It's been a long time but I kept to her deal and didn't tell anyone - so no-one knows except me and her.
I don't think she thinks I'm an asshole, but I'm scared it wasn't fully consensual because she was definitely more drunk than me... Should I have asked if her boyfriend would've been okay with it..? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
Xx0tY2UtK10lZS249XetYFFTJdlw5jjA
|
av8fsx
|
{
"description": "being disappointed in my SO's purchasing decisions",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being disappointed in my SO's purchasing decisions?
|
Sorry, this is a rambling mess.
My boyfriend has been out of work since maybe June of 2018. During that time I've been covering all of our expenses; rent, utilities, etc. Even his car payment for a couple months before he went on unemployment. I'd like to note that he has worked hard to find a job and has a promising upcoming interview. But even when he had a job, I covered the majority of our expenses since he had payments to make on his student loans and his car.
Now, I'm not necessarily a high earner. I get about $18 an hour. So, things can still be pretty tight and I have some no-interest debts of my own. I support both of us and he gives me what he can from his unemployment checks after paying for his car and keeping some for himself. Sometimes he gives me too much and has to ask for money from me to cover something. He's aware of how stressed I get when it comes to money.
Though I know he owes me upwards of $5000 at this point, I would never ask for him to give me the entirety of his income each time he gets a check. Having some cash and being in control of what you do with it is a freedom which I consider very important. So I believe it's his choice what he does with his money and I don't have a right to dictate how he spends it.
However.....
I'm having a particularly rough month due to some surprise expenses, of which he is aware. Today he texted me to tell me that he had paid someone to play on his Xbox account in order to get a specific reward which required a lot of time commitment, practice, and skill since it was a competitive reward. I know how much the game means to him, it is our main hobby and the primary way we interact with our friends from our hometown and college. He said it wasn't a lot of money and that it's something that had been weighing on him, which is why he chose to do it. He said he wanted to tell me about it and hoped it didn't change my opinion of him. He said it costed less than what he normally keeps for himself from his paycheck, so he sent me a bit more than his usual amount.
I couldn't pretend like I wasn't disappointed. I said if the gun really was more important to him than helping me pay rent was, I'd learn to live with it. I admit I spoke with some resentment as I told him I was used to it. So he told me to take the money and cease the attitude.
I can tell that my disappointment and words have hurt him and he thinks I shouldn't have viewed his decision that way. Am I the asshole for getting upset about how he decides to spend his paycheck? He never comments on my selfish purchases when they occur. But, of course, I don't owe him money.
TL;DR
I cover mine and my out-of-work boyfriend's expenses, he helps with some of his unemployment checks. He spent some money on an in-game reward so now I'm a bit miffed because money's tight and it seems he doesn't care that I need all the help I can get. He's miffed that I'm miffed.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
6j2cpukYt34uNkTNnh89Y8G8UFqVuNfm
|
apm8vn
|
{
"description": "mocking a dance that my friend did in a YouTube video that was on his new friends' channel",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for mocking a dance that my friend did in a YouTube video that was on his new friends’ channel?
|
This story requires a long context because there’s a lot of history behind this one friend. Sorry for the length...
Context:
So I have this group of friends that I absolutely love. We’ll call this group A. Group A and I are still in HS, we play video games and hang out all of the time, however in my freshman year I also hung out with another group, group B (this will be important later)
In our group, group A, we have this friend that is normally really chill, however 4 weeks ago he just stopped talking to us. Like, cut us out of his life completely. He hasn’t talked to us and he’s just basically been ignoring us It turns out, he started hanging out with group B, and the reason I stopped talking to them was because our schedules were conflicted and they couldn’t reach me either. Regardless, us in group A were a bit salty because he didn’t bother to tell us he would be hanging with another group, but it’s fine, whatever.
Personally, I have not known this group as long as they’ve known each other. They have history. Now according to one of my friends, this kid has cut group A out of his life 3 times already, but he always comes back. What he does is, he finds what he thinks is a cool group of friends, and he leaves group A for that group and comes back when he realizes they are all douches. This is the first time he’s done this while I’ve been apart of this friend circle.
We wouldn’t really care that he found new people, except for the fact that:
-he completely ignored and cut us out without warning/ letting us know.
-this time he openly said he didn’t want to hang out with us because we were too “cringey” for him. Recently however, he made a dance with group B and put it on YT (I’m going to remain neutral here but it could definitely pass as cringey). Keep in mind group A and B are really chill, group A (us) is only mad at that one kid.
-he had the audacity to ask our parents for rides to and from school even though he hadn’t talk to us in four weeks. One of the moms he left hanging, basically she was waiting for him but then he decided to go with group B and wasted the parent’s time.
-I took summer PE with him so I could take extra classes, and he was always throwing shade at me whenever we were around other people to look cool. My school’s insta posted a picture of my face and he screenshotted it and zoomed in and used it to make fun of me, friendly banter but still it bothers me
Ok there’s the context, now the story
So group A and I are in our normal lunch spot, when group b and the kid walk past us. As they walk by, I yelled out, “hey >his name<!” And did the dance that he did in group b’s video in front of him and the entire group B (but only he noticed, and since I was friends with group B in the past they know I didn’t mean it towards them). I did so in a mocking and condescending manner. Two of my friends said I might have taken it too far, 3 of them think he deserved it. Am I the asshole for mocking the dance that he did?
Sorry it’s so long... and if its bad formatting I’m on mobile.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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