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{
"description": "thinking my partner should not push back on occasional early breakfast dates",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for thinking my partner should not push back on occasional early breakfast dates?
|
I (54F) have been with my boyfriend (55M) since 2006. We have been domestic partners since 2011. He is a night owl. I am a morning person. This is not by choice, it’s just the way each of us is metabolically wired.
I don’t choose to wake when the sun rises. Quite the opposite; I spent $3000 out of MY OWN POCKET for custom blackout curtains to try to block the rising sun and my biological urge to wake with it. I take sleeping pills and sometimes take (way too much) alcohol before bed in an effort to sleep sounder. I often wake in the early hours of the morning and try desperately to get back to sleep, to no avail . My mother and father are both morning people so I think that supports my argument that it is how I’m biologically wired. His father is a morning person, his mother is not. He drinks daily which exasperates his late awaking (IMHO).
I try my best to stay awake with him for evening movies but I often fall asleep to his great frustration. He quizzes me during the movies ; “Are you awake?”, “Are you awake?”, “Are you awake?”... it’s very frustrating.
Breakfast out is my special treat for me. I don’t know why. I can only suppose it’s because I’m a morning person. I love breakfast out. Since I’ve been with my partner, I can literally count on one hand the number of times we’ve been out for breakfast together outside of when we’re forced to do it because of an early morning flight or family engagement.
On rare occasion I suggest we go out for breakfast; “Hey, let’s do breakfast tomorrow “. This is normally greeted with “How early were you thinking “? He might suggest “not before 11:00”. “Nobody gets up early on a weekend just for breakfast “. It inevitably ends up in a fight if the proposed time is before 11am. Sometimes he tries to find a restaurant with an all day breakfast menu but for me, it’s more about the early start on the day and less about the menu. The reality is we struggle to get out of the house before noon on any weekend days.
We literally had this exact fight tonight. He won’t remember any of it come morning, I’m sure of it.
I desperately want a partner who is willing to recognize that a few times a year he should be the one to operate outside of his normal circadian cycle. It seems like I’m always trying to be an evening partner for him but he’s very resistant (combative) when it comes to being a morning partner for me. I’m happy to quiz him during breakfast; “Are you awake?”, “Are you awake?”, “Are you awake? :)
AITA for wanting my partner to break from his night owl schedule a couple of times a year for a breakfast date
with his partner of 13+ years?
TL; DR: He is a night owl, I’m a morning person. Once or twice a year I’d like to go out to early breakfast with him without it being a huge argument.
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b3rix7
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{
"description": "not wanting to attend my Masters Graduation ceremony",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA For not wanting to attend my Masters Graduation ceremony
|
So, heres the context
I go to a very small college (1,200 students) This school offers a program where you get a bachelors degree in 3 years, and a Masters in 1 year. This school is private and rather expensive. My parents are helping me pay for college, and stipulated that I could go to this school, on the condition I enrolled in this program and completed my masters.
​
I finished my undergrad with an honors degree, had awards for extracurricular and the whole 9 yards. My parents were very proud. They also agreed to let me take the summer off before I started my masters. (Keep in mind I had 3 very good internships in past summers, and I work during the school year for the Head of a department at the university) My parents helped me with rent and food, and I also stayed at home a bit and I assisted them with small jobs, and caring for my grandmother.
​
So, heres the rub
My masters program schedule is a little asinine. Classes run for a full calendar year, from August 2018 to August 2019. But, the graduation ceremony is in May 2019. Then 2 weeks later classes start again. My school wont host 2 ceremony's because they are cheap, and combine masters and undergrad into 1. The point is, I dont want to go to graduation and then go back to class. I think it cheapens my achievement. Not to mention I have come to hate this program a bit.
​
But, I am afraid of letting me parents down. They are VERY invested in me getting this degree and helped me get it. Additionally, My Grandmother did not come to my undergrad graduation because she only wanted to go to one, and decided to come to the last one. She has also contributed to my education a significant amount, and is invested in me getting this degree.
​
Am I the asshole for cheating my family out of a 2nd graduation ceremony?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
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b3wjoe
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{
"description": "showing up at a childhood best friend's house unannounced",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
Aita for showing up at a childhood best friend's house unannounced?
|
So this happened like 10 years ago and it is still kinda bugging me..lol.
When I was a kid I grew up next door to a boy my age and a girl a couple years older (brothers age). We we're all best friends. Like spent every day hanging out. They were kind of a weird family though.. I honestly can't put my finger on why, they were just strange.
Anyway, we moved away when I was like 8ish. I never really saw them again.
Cue me being like 20. I ended up driving by my old house just to see it, and I noticed they still lived there!! So I knocked on the door, and figured I'd just say hey, and catch up a bit.
The dude who was my age answered and was nice enough and everything.. but the parents, and even him we're stressing pretty hard about how I should've called first and shouldn't just stop by unannounced..
I left with a really strange feeling like I had done something wrong, and was an asshole.
So.. I need judgement.lol. Was I the asshole?
|
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| null |
AITA, sister and a deal
|
a little backstory:
​
I have failed classes my freshman and sophomore year and been making them up in online classes since last summer, which should have been done by the end of summer, which i lied about but still am getting done.
Early march my sister and i made a deal to get me a new phone, to get my grades up and get 3 classes of my online school done. this had to be done by my spring break, the first week of April.
​
Now here comes the question of AITA:
​
With about 2 weeks left, I have gotten my school stuff done, except my online school. But the day of writing this my sister and I got in a fight because of how, lazy, and other sorts of names I am. It started because she thought I was playing my games on my computer, I was doing school work.
​
So I was then forced to move from my computer in my room, to my sisters laptop in the living room. I continued to worked on my school work, NOT online school(which comes important later), to try and start off the last quarter of high school for me right.
​
​
​
Because I have been focusing on my school work, not online school, for about the past 3 weeks, and only started doing the classes this weekend, which as I mention before, they each will take about 1 week, with about 2 hours each day. But, because of not getting much done since this weekend, she saw I have made little progress and we got into the second fight today.
​
The first fight was a little more warranted as I could see why she thought I was playing games, but what ever. This second fight I have been trying to prove my point that the reason I haven't been able to do much online school as the past couple of weeks is because I have been doing my school work as the end of the quarter was last Friday.
​
This is where it might get a little biased:
​
But, I was trying prove my point that school was coming first before my online school and that I made up from D's and F's to A's, and B's, and 1 C. She was saying it shouldn't take that long with working about 4 hours a day, on top of school, and some on weekend, but after chores, and some gaming late at night after I was done for the day.
​
She was yelling at me I am lazy and do nothing but game, when I should be doing online school. But, what got me mad is I was trying to prove my point that I have been focusing on normal school, which as I mentioned consists of 2 college level classes. Which I got my grades up for and she basically refused to see my progress on my school, all because I didn't get more online school done.
​
This is why I ask that question, AITA, for arguing and mainly being lazy, when, note, we still have 2 weeks on our deal, and only online school to mainly deal with now. So, am I being the "asshole" \*lazy\*, or is she being the asshole.
​
If I missed anything or need more I may post more in the comments if needed. Just ask and I am willing to help.
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b8ipvc
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{
"description": "keeping my donuts in baggies following an April Fool's joke",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for keeping my donuts in baggies following an April Fool's joke?
|
My friends and I are at an impasse regarding my recent behavior, and I have decided to turn to Reddit for resolution. If I am indeed the asshole, I will accept my judgement with a grateful heart.
Anyway, with yesterday being April Fool’s, I decided to go with a classic office prank. I purchased a dozen fresh donuts and filled the box with goldfish crackers. It was a big hit. Afterward, I told my friends that my intention was to replace the donuts the following day. I had them all in Ziploc baggies and was just going to place them, in said baggies, on the counter in the staff lounge.
My friends were horrified when they heard this. By keeping them in the baggies, it would be obvious that I touched them to put them inside. They suggested I place them individually back in the box (which would require I touch them not once, but twice) or purchase a new dozen (yeah … no). I say, donuts in Ziploc baggies or bust. They say it’s gross.
Help us, Reddit! Each side thinks the other is truly insane!
​
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HISTORICAL
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|
b01x7r
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{
"description": "not wanting my dad to talk to me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my dad to talk to me
|
okay yes i am aware it sounds like angsty teen bs but bear with me.(sorry for formatting , am on mobile)
Okay so I've been with my dad through thick and thin and have away been there for him. But he went back to prison again this year for drug charges and as much as I love him I hate how he is back in prison , because he said he was sober again and I was so happy for him and I was going to go surprise him and go down to where he lives to be all proud of him and stuff and as I was planning it I got word of how he was in custody.
I didn't think too much of it because where he lives the police pull over for the sake of pulling over. But then I asked why was he in jail and it was for heroin usage. Fast forward hes sentenced to about 3 years in prison. He's been writing me letters and trying to call me , I was always hesitant to pick up his calls. About the third day he called me I was honest and I said how I don't want to talk to him because he lied to me. I told my mama and abuela about what I said and word spread throughout our family and about like a day or two lager my tio (uncle) calls me up and demands I apologize to my dad for not wanting to speak to him. Same thing happens with a few cousins and tias (aunties). I refused to call him still after that , I still write him letters though.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to talk to him?
|
HISTORICAL
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ao9j0g
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{
"description": "not wanting to end it",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to end it?
|
Second account as I don't want this tied to my main. Also I am new to this subreddit as a whole so I apologize if I make any errors.
I am genuinely confused whether my stance on this makes me the asshole...
I am in high school, going to college in a few years.. my father got a promotion in work so we'll be relocating really far away from where we are now.
I have a GF in high school who I've been together with since 6 months now. I really love her and obviously we didn't tell our parents about this as we're in high school. She has a sister who knew about us and she decided to tell her mom about this relationship. Ironically she was in a relationship too with a much older guy and my GF didn't tell her mom about this. Now the pressure is on her from both of her parents giving her the silent treatment.. so I asked GF to snitch on her sister too (her sister is 2 years younger and had a bf way older than me) so she's out of the line of fire. GF declines saying that "I'm the elder sister, and I won't do this to her"
I replied saying that your sister should've thought about this too but she didn't.. its not about what's right anymore because your sister crossed the line.. its about saving yourself. Am I The Asshole? #1
Her mom doesn't approve of us and wants us to be just friends and be in a relationship when we're ready for it. GF doesn't want to disobey her mom.
My reasoning here was that I'm going to relocate in 1 month anyway so why not be together for my last moments here? I said that as much as I would love to marry you in 10-15 years we both know its not going to happen and its possible that we're never meeting again.
She tells me to have a little faith in God and if we really loved each other we will meet... I said that life is harsh and the bitter truth is that we are never meeting again and we both will find someone else.
Am I The Asshole #2 for trying to make it last for 1 more month? I am not trying to dominate here. Should I just take the hint and end it?
|
HISTORICAL
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amtb1c
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{
"description": "not wanting to share my financial aid information with anyone but my parents",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I don't want to share my financial aid information with anyone but my parents?
|
So I get an estimate for the financial aid I will be receiving for college, with estimated loans and everything. I'm looking at it and my little sister, 14, asks how much financial aid I was getting. In the least aggressive way I could, I said it wasn't her business, it's just something me and dad have to worry about. She suddenly starts getting angry with me like "what the heck! That's weird. Why do you even care?" And I just said it's just something I think is better kept private. So I hand it to my dad, because he wants to see it, and my little sister asks him to see. I tell my dad that I'd rather he just look at it, and then he tells me that my little sister should see. I kind of snatch it out of his hands, and he gets angry at me, like "WHY ARE YOU BEING SO WEIRD! I NEED TO SEE THAT!" I'm like I literally told you I don't want this shared with everybody! Now they're both being pissy with me. Like, literally what? Don't I have a right to be somewhat conciliatory with my information? Maybe I don't want everyone knowing my financial situation for the next four years? Am I crazy? Tell me I'm not the asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
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a7f9kv
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{
"description": "sleeping with her friends",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for sleeping with her friends? (M18)
|
So to preface, I have severe trust issues, and as such I've had it a lot easier with casual sex than with relationships. Anyway, me and this girl "Ellie" got very close. I actually fell for her, despite having a hard time trusting anybody, and things went south. Long story short, she broke my heart, but we still keep in touch and hang out on occasion. Anyway, her class is 90% girls, and I already know a lot of them, either through Ellie, or from other friends, or school or whatever.
So, I've slept with several of her friends. Some of them I knew were friends of hers, others I found out later, but it's getting to be a lot of people she knows that I've slept with, since sleeping with as many people as possible is kind of the way I cope with heartbreak and bad feelings. I've asked the girls I slept with to not tell Ellie, since I don't want any awkward feelings, but I get the feeling she knows, since she has been really distant and hasn't really talked to me that much lately.
To make things worse, a girl from her class, we can call her Jenny, has started sending me some pics, and invited me to hang out with her at her place this weekend.
Am I the asshole for basically sleeping my way through the friend group of a girl that completely broke my heart?
|
HISTORICAL
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|
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b8m3l2
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{
"description": "refusing to dance at family gatherings/parties/wherever",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I refuse to dance at family gatherings/parties/wherever?
|
In about two weeks, my girlfriend's father turns 50 and there is a huge party planned for him that we're going to. Of course there is going to be music (live or not, doesn't matter) and people will dance.
Dancing seems to be like a "requirement" in my country. At these huge family gatherings, people pressure into it, especially older people. "Take her for a spin", shit like that is not uncommon to hear. 5 months ago, my mom celebrated her 50th birthday and there was this thing the musicians did, they picked a single person at a table who had to make a toast with his table (4 tables), and the table that was the loudest would "win". He picked me as the dude that doesn't dance.
I fucking hate dancing. I don't like to do it, I really suck at it, I need a couple of drinks to even get me on the floor, and even then I don't feel comfortable. Music is my biggest passion, but I will never feel this music so much that I could dance to it, since my kind of music is the complete opposite (metal/punk).
My girlfriend said that its like a tradition that the son in law has to take the mother in law for a dance. It's also expected from me to take my girlfriend to dance, but this is probably only from the family's side, since I talked to her about this and she said she doesn't give a crap about me not dancing and respects it because it's not who I am. Her mother will apparently be very offended if I refuse to do so.
I talked to my family about this and they said I just need to suck it up and do it. But still, can I be viewed as an asshole if I flat out refuse to do so?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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b6a7dz
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{
"description": "bringing up my friend's ex-girlfriend in a context that he said was okay",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for bringing up my friend’s ex-girlfriend in a context that he said was okay?
|
This incident involves three people. Me, Person A, & Person B
Person A jokingly mentioned he wanted me to invite my girlfriend’s little sister to a group event all of us we were planning. In response, I said that I find it weird to have a friend date my girlfriend’s little sister as I find it one step detached from being eskimo brother. I realize this may be an unpopular opinion, but I only care enough to the extent that I wasn’t looking to actively set them up. If they were to meet organically, more power to them.
In response, A found this strange and told me that he thought there was nothing wrong with being eskimo brothers with ex-girlfriends, much less sisters of a current girlfriend. In fact, A went so far as to say that he would be okay with his friends being eskimo brothers with his ex-girlfriend. Surprised, I asked A again if he was hypothetically okay with our mutual friend (Person B) being eskimo brothers with his ex-girlfriend. He in turn found this comment to be of low taste and was quite upset by it and went so far as to say I had low EQ for bringing her up
I’m curious what Reddit’s opinion on this is as I usually quite sensitive around bringing up ex-girlfriends. In my opinion, I wasn’t out of base bringing up A’s ex-girlfriend in this context as he essentially said first that it was okay
|
HISTORICAL
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b4s94p
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{
"description": "staying at a bar because I wanted to finish a darts game",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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|
AITA for staying at a bar because I wanted to finish a darts game
|
Sorry for my poor english knowledge and formatting. Writing on mobile.
Every Thursday and/or Saturday I rehearsel with my band in the basement of our favourite bar.
I always come home at 8:45 pm after rehearsel.
Today there was a DJ who played some decent stuff we're into. I would have come home early anyway If my girlfriend wish to but she wanted to come too, to stay and drink, party, and have good time.
So she came at 10 pm and immediately texted me across the room that she wouldn't have come if she knew that there were so many people (she suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder and has sociophobic symptoms).
She started conversating with strangers anyway and seemed to have good time. She was laughing, talking, and didn't bother at all that she didn't know those people.
At around 2 am she wanted to go home while I was in the middle of a darts game. She insisted on going right now even though the game wasn't finished yet.
I told that we can go home when the game is finished.
So we stayed for another 40 minutes or so when she texted that she wants to go now. She was pissed. Really pissed.
She said in a reallys disparaging way that I can stay longer if I want to and that she goes home (she always does this if something doesn't go to her plan and cries about it later).
I - knowing her - knew of course that she wanted me to come with her so I paid our bill, dropped out of the game and told her that I am ready to go. We went outside where she said that I am shall go away. I tried to talk to her but then she ran off in the middle of the night. I couldn't find her and she wouldn't answer my calls. I went home and waited for her to come which happend about 30 minutes after.
So AITA? Did I do anything wrong in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
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artzxi
|
{
"description": "wanting to ditch my friends of 7 years",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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}
|
AITA for wanting to ditch my friends of 7 years?
|
Yes, I am a senior in high school and yes the obvious decision is forget them when you graduate in a few months, but I see them everyday and I've known them for almost a decade so this a huge deal for me.
So now that that's out of the way...this year, I've been reconsidering my friend group I've known since 5th grade. I heard the quote, "If 9 of your friends are broke, you will be the 10th" or "You are who are your friends are." That quote made me think about who my friends are and consider if I want to be known for who they are. I realized that I am the only one of my friends with a job, a license and car, and I have more than $1000 in my bank account unlike them.
One friend has OCD and is sad that everyone around her is in a relationship except her and her parents won't let her see a therapist. When I first met my boyfriend, she made it all about herself and was sad that she's not in the same position. And now another friend of ours went on her first date and is experiencing the same thing I did, but no one listened to me the first time I said anything. But not everyone likes to hear about relationships so I just don't talk about my boyfriend with her because I have other friends who like to hear about that stuff. On top of that, all she ever talks about is sex and the ironic part is that she's a virgin. She is obsessed with feeding over-weight, submissive men who eventually get nauseous and likes to reminisce about rubbing stomachs. And everyone finds it hilarious! I'm all for supporting the fact that people have the right to express their sexual feelings, but does she have to be so open about it? It's kinda creepy. (also she had a random mental breakdown in the middle of lunch with no explanation. she started bawling out of no where and none of our friends consoled her because they said "i don't know what to do" "i'm not good at that kinda stuff" "it's not my thing"
And the girl I mentioned earlier who went on her first date, her dad died when we were in middle school. Her mom lets her smoke weed, but her mom doesn't know she socially drinks at parties. And I have a theory that she was sexually abused as a child because she told me she has PTSD and she showed me a song that she said really described her. One of the lyrics was, "I was molested at 8" so maybe, but not for certain. She has a dominant personality and is the one I fear the most will come after me if I suddenly just decide to leave.
And the other guy is gay in a strict catholic home and his sister died when we were in middle school so that's just a huge mess. I don't have any personal problems with him because we're not really that close.
Some might say that it's harsh for me to just leave my friends when they're in a time of need, but they do not know how to support each other when the other is going through a rough episode. Anytime something good happens to me, like the fact that it was my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend on Valentine's Day, makes me feel like I'm bragging and being selfish because they are not living their best lives right now. When someone in a friend group is sharing something good that's happened to them, the rest should put aside their personal problems and give the other person a moment to shine. And a good friend group lets everyone experience this and they don't do that. I'm not asking for the spotlight to be on me because the same thing happened to the girl who went on her first date. They all want to be on the same playing field. If one is suffering, someone like me where life is going great, shouldn't really talk too much about how good their life is going because people like the girl with OCD could be hurt.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
ktzJVDH0WZbAAZcav5mSQCpJd9GPubP5
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9u48tl
|
{
"description": "not wanting to accept an apology from a delivery driver at my house",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to accept an apology from a delivery driver at my house?
|
AITA for not wanting to talk to him again?
I ordered food from a local pizza place and had it delivered but had the weirdest/worst interaction with the delivery driver which prompted me to message the business through Facebook. The conversation I had with the business ended up making me feel worse and that I shouldn't have bothered letting them know in the first place. Is there something I'm missing?
Here's the conversation:
Me: I just had a terrible interaction with your delivery driver. I live on (My Street Name). He came to the door, didn't say a word after I greeted him then just passed me the terminal to pay with my card. After it went through I returned it to him then he proceeded to shove my food into my stomach then turn around and left without saying anything. He topped it off by throwing the debit receipt on my front lawn. I can't even believe how unprofessional he was.
Business: I’m really sorry to hear that and thank you for letting us know. If you don’t mind what was your address, so we know which driver delivered you food. This is very unacceptable no matter any reason and the matter will be taken care of.
Me: (My Address)
Business: Thank you again. And I’ll keep you informed what goes on.
Me: Thank You
Business: The driver name is (His Name) he is a really nice guy and doesn’t do these type of actions. I don’t know if he is feeling off today but to make the long story short dear I told him he had to apologize in person and I need to make sure your satisfied for him to keep his job.
I hope you don’t mind
Me: I don't want to see him again this is very inappropriate
Business: I’m trying to call him back not getting an answer
He’s back here now sorry about that
Me: Yeah he come to our door and my husband answered. If you want to keep him as an employee that's fine, it's your decision. I mentioned it to you because there is no reason for someone to act that way and I didn't want him doing it to other people.
Business: I do appreciate that dear I will talk to the driver end of the night but I think he gets the picture and I would like to give you a 20 dollar credit for next time.
Sorry again and I do apriate your concern.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
UDWq2qUHsUNbaweCMKde88Bm3dQgPKPQ
|
a8lqby
|
{
"description": "not finding a place to charge my sister's phone",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not finding a place to charge my sister's phone?
|
Me and my sis were in the airport, and out of the blue she just starts asking me to find her a place to charge her phone. She wasn't doing anything, and she literally could have done it on her own just fine, but she said since I'm the little brother I should do it. My mom got mad at me when I refused. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
1Zp9Bu5qYY7BhuxTpV3HfV3ZmSTMs8nv
|
auxxf2
|
{
"description": "proposing my two male friends to take me on festival in June using car, that belongs to one of them",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because I proposed my two male friends to take me on festival in June using car, that belongs to one of them?
|
In my country at the 1st June is held a youth festival. It's in place, where (if we could believe to legends) was baptism of creator of our country. Since my one friend has no time due to moving to campus at his college, and second one isn't interested, I decided to go with two guys, that met some months ago in my school.
Yesterday I proposed one of them, if they can go with me. He told, that he has to rethink this idea, but later I felt like a fucking asshole. I shouldn't propose them this, because I can't decide over that car. Maybe, if I proposed them, that we can join to some group and go with them, it could be less offensive than proposing usage of someone's car...
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
xVEa3OVQgTM5aqIAACpLHYwK07aeZxAW
|
amyo9u
|
{
"description": "me calling my mother a name when she kept pushing for more food from me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for me calling my mother a name when she kept pushing for more food from me?
|
So basically this is the story. I have a Mexican family and I bought these kinds of chips. My sister asked me for one (since she bought the chips), so I did. My mother came up to me and said "Gimme one". I have a pet peeve about when someone asks me for something and don't say please. It's common courtesy.
I told her to say please, so she did. I gave her one, which she specifically asked for. Then she said, "Gimme two." I got really ticked off and called her a bad word in Spanish. (Apparently I didn't know that until she told me.) I told her in my defense, my father calls me that all the time, and no one says anything. She ignores what I say and she said, "Still. You have to respect your parents."
So, my sister sided with my mother and called me greedy for not wanting to share food (which I would happily do if asked nicely) yet I would take a bullet for them if needed to be. I got angry but decided not to take it farther so I stopped arguing, apologized and offered her some more in apology, but she said she didn't want it anymore.
So Reddit, I welcome any opinion or questions any of you may have. Please and thank you.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
oXMYbfPfejNanGOFQx2mBq1Crdkx8dR4
|
a8sw7k
|
{
"description": "cutting a Toxic my Toxic Sister out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Cutting A Toxic My Toxic Sister Out Of My Life?
|
My sister and I have a complicated history. We come from a divorced family and both of our parents have passed away in the last ten years (we are both in our 30s, so our parents did both pass away rather young.)
My sister and I have constantly bickered throughout our lives, and I know that she harbors resentment towards me due to the unique arrangement that was reached between our parents after the divorce. My father moved back in with his parents after the divorce and I moved in with him shortly afterwards, while my sister stayed with our mother. Soon after this, my grandfather passed away from cancer and my father remained by my grandmother's side to take care of her. In essence, I was raised by my father and grandmother and only occasionally visited my mother.
My sister definitely got the short end of the stick. Our mother was an alcoholic and a drug abuser (prescription medicines mostly, but more illicit substances here and there for sure) and had terrible choice in men. My sister was placed in an emotionally abusive situation for her entire childhood and it messed her up quite a bit.
Once we grew up, my sister moved in with her boyfriend in her early 20s and eventually they had two children together. I was a bit of a later bloomer and didn't really get my life together until my early 30s.
When I was about to be married is when things really started to go south in my relationship with my sister. My wife and I had decided to have a small ceremony but had of course invited her. With less than a month to go before the wedding, she had not RSVP'd and when we spoke about it, she was offended that my wife had not asked her to throw her a bridal shower and also that her son and daughter would not be the flower girl and ring-bearer. a) My wife did not want to ask anyone to throw her a bridal shower. Her aunts offered to throw her one and she accepted. My wife would have been happy to have a bridal shower thrown by my sister, but did not want to solicit one herself. b) As previously mentioned, we were having a small ceremony and did not plan to have a ring bearer or a flower girl. We only had one person each, a best man and a maid of honor. I explained to her that it wasn't going to be that kind of wedding.
Eventually she did decide to go to the wedding, but it was like pulling teeth and she made up some story about "not getting the invitation" (this will be important later). The wedding was lovely and the next couple years were fine.
At Christmastime of last year, my sister stopped talking with our grandmother over an argument they had on Christmas Eve. My sister had not brought a gift for my grandmother (although her children had brought grandma a gift. My grandmother, being a fiesty 90-year-old woman, made a comment about it, so my sister went from 0 to 60, grabbed her children and left. She did not speak to my grandmother until this September and would not return phone calls and messages on the subject.
She also cancelled family get-togethers (namely her children's birthday parties) this year and has generally been difficult to reach. My wife and I attempted to reach out several time, but were ignored or given the run-around.
Things came to a head earlier this year when my wife and I became pregnant. My sister was one of the first people we tried to call, and we left a few voice messages on the subject. We didn't outright say the news, but we ended the messages with "call us back, we have some really exciting news to share!" each time. As a couple of childbearing age that had been married nearly two years at the time, we felt like we were laying it on pretty thick with the messages.
The messages went unheeded, so we stopped trying to give my sister any special treatment. We had stopped communicating over text for a while, and, as mentioned before she seemed to be intentionally making herself hard to reach.
My sister found out about the pregnancy a few months later when it was safe to post on social media. She sent my an angry text message that day about not telling her. I simply told her that she was one of the first people we tried to call and that we had called several times. She claimed to have not received those messages (sensing a pattern yet?) and tried to make me feel guilty by bringing up that we never talked to her kids anymore. We would have been more than happy to visit with her children if she did not make herself so difficult to get in touch with, if she didn't stop coming to family functions and cancel traditional times where we would typically see each other. We eventually stopped trying after every conversation either became a runaround or an argument. At this point we felt that the relationship had become toxic and started ignoring her.
Despite this, I insisted that she be invited to our baby shower. She was the only person who did not RSVP one way or another (she must not have gotten the invitation again) and did not show up.
​
She has occasionally posted on social media, lamenting the fact that she does not have a close relationship with her remaining family, and makes herself out to be the victim and the rest of us villains. Hence this thread. Are we the villains? You are clearly only getting one side of the story, but should we have tried harder after getting ignored repeatedly? Are we privileged assholes who don't care about our extended family?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
vwRfbLFgqItLTRUvXGdD8fMaTRa80R6k
|
afamxz
|
{
"description": "not liking the tea my dad makes me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not liking the tea my dad makes me?
|
Hi all!
So every once in a while my daddy will make me tea. This kind of tea is a berry mix tea, which absolutely makes me sick. I’m not sure why, but the only way I can drink it is if it’s cold and very watered down. He makes the tea with 8oz of water, 1-2 teabags and about a half a cup of honey. It ends up super thick and tasting like turned elderberry syrup.
Now I understand and appreciate the gesture, but I’ve said a few times that the tea makes me really sick. Like indigestion and other kinds of sick. But I can’t help but feel bad whenever he makes the tea, so I usually drink it anyways.
Tl;dr
My dad’s makes me tea that makes but me sick, but I feel bad for offeneding him by refusing it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
zWtnRJ4jsGFStnU3eHxfEf8Jb7dNDgCX
|
ahf5rx
|
{
"description": "giving this Dollar General a bad review",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if i give this Dollar General a bad review?
|
Tl;Dr - merchandiser for a beverage company, I feel like I was blamed for corporate coming into this Dollar general. An employee is nothing but mean to me and I believe I have done anything wrong.
I am a merchandiser for a beverage company. And I haven't even been working there for 2 months, very new to all of this. Especially dealing with terrible people.
I have to make the order and work the product when the truck arrives. I'm never there for over an hour. There are 2 woman who work at DG whenever I'm there. One of them is nice, and the other I can describe as nothing but a bitch.
The nice one of the 2 gave me 4 receipts and asked if I and someone else I know do the survey for them. And she asked me to give them very high marks. Lately they've received bad marks and as a result they have to be on conference calls twice a day.
Today I went in to make my order and I simply asked how their morning was going and they both responded "it isn't"
Bottom line is, Corp. was coming in later that day and the mean one told me how I haven't order any sports drinks. And then she said to me "I have asked you to order them and you haven't. I've sent in an eticket (complaint) on you because you aren't doing your job." I told her how she has in fact NOT asked me to order any sports drinks. And if I had known, I would have. Because it's my JOB. I apologized for the mishap and she said "your 'sorries'(?) are getting old." I feel like she's blaming me for corporate coming in.
I'm very tempted to give them a bad review. Today I order the drinks like she had asked and I'm going to continue to do my job. Anything helps, sorry if this doesn't fit all the requirements for this sub
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
Td3QlPqWdpc19Ee3JoCBpqvzcmDi6AuA
|
alw2h3
|
{
"description": "being upset that my boyfriend makes comments about my diet",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset that my (26f) boyfriend (28M) makes comments about my diet
|
My boyfriend and I are pretty open with each other, and we tend to poke fun a lot. Problem is, very recently, I’ve been feeling very self conscious about my weight lately. I ate my dinner and decided I wanted seconds since I missed lunch and had a tiny breakfast. He (jokingly) says “you’re having more?!” And I kind of brushed it off.
Fast forward to today, and he asked me when I was going to hit the gym again. I know I’m not a big person and I look the same since we started dating, but he’s clearly annoyed that I mentioned that I’m upset with the comments. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
plOiBwm2at6bLBDYcgcobLi3qZnk6Pyg
|
am5473
|
{
"description": "seeming passive aggressive",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for seeming passive aggressive.
|
AITA for send a text saying "Its Friday" on Friday to a person who's last text was "Wednesday Tops" and hasn't produced document for a lease signing with 3 other people?
More info. I have been trying to get a lease signed for several months now. People are difficult, the landlord is a lazy schmuck, one person decided they weren't leaving, another person has continuously failed to get pay stubs. Above all this I tried asking politely to the person who needs to get their pay stubs in when it was going to happen. He said Wednesday and now its Friday my current lease ends on the Monday. I am stressed at this point. I have to work during the week and have a ton of packing left to do and am heading into unknown waters with this lease.
I have paid one person their monthly rent to live in their bedroom in the same house in question for the lease.
So after my text I get a response about how "life happens" and they dont appreciate me "messaging them passive aggresive shit like a child"
I have since tried to diffuse the situation saying I'm not accusing anyone of anything and that I waited beyond Wednesday and heard nothing from them.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
LqhMobwQoom0r3yNW8kp46LliTk5AL07
|
9w6scb
|
{
"description": "flipping off an old lady",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for flipping off an old lady?
|
And the context. I work at a donation site. I have reg donors who show up once a week. One in particular is a 89 y/o woman. She shows up bringing the dirtiest, oldest, mustiest shit ever. A few weeks ago she showed up with 3 full boxes of this stuff and also wants the boxes back. So i have to hurry through a 100 years of grime, caked on everything she brings so i can be ready for other people. I hand her the last box and she walks out the doors.
Soon as that glass shut, I flipped on both birds and start machine gunning middle fingers with authority. Shit you not... Fired the last round and its like it actually hit her. She disappears between her truck and the car next to it. I run out there to see if shes okay...
She had eaten every bit of that reinforced Costco Kirkland Signature box and busted her nose all to hell. Blood pouring out of her face like a broken keg tap. I look her over, handed her a rag for the bleeding and I call 911. She has a life alert on so she hits the button. Shes coughing, crying, and bleeding into the life alert and the dude on the other end starts berating her about how she shouldn't have called 911. I hear this and bite my damn lip cause I can't believe I just heard this dude say that shit. Ambulance shows up ten min later. They stop the bleeding, say shes okay and take off. I offer her the restroom, she cleans up, gets in her truck and leaves.
So she shows up a couple days ago and she looks like she got worked over. Have to bite my lip again but I ain't even angry about the dirty ass stuff she brought.
AITA for giving her the force push middle finger?
AITA for wanting to laugh when the life alert guy was talking shit?
AITA for wanting to laugh at the raccoon eyes Iron Box Tyson left?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
RIGHT
|
uNUmoxKoIOquyjJYK70WszoYxpFb6u6l
|
9v1d18
|
{
"description": "delaying my & a coworker's lunch",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for delaying my & a coworker’s lunch?
|
Happened yesterday, I work as a TV tech and am a relatively new hire (< 3 months) who has been performing well, and so received a very newly hired tech as a shadow yesterday (with no prior heads up. That’s a theme here.)
I needed to stock a new van instead of taking my normally assigned one (no heads up, again) and ended up needing to come back to the warehouse twice, once around 9 AM, once around 11:45 AM. Upon leaving at 9, I asked my shadow if he wanted to stop and get food, as I was all set eating my bagel I’d brought as breakfast. He declined, and so we went on our way.
As we were leaving around noon, he asked if we could stop and grab a bite. At this point, I was on a one-track mind of getting the job done and was stressed enough that I was looking bad by needing to come back to the warehouse twice in a morning. I explained that I didn’t want to look bad and that I’d like to get the job done first (about a 2 hour process with us both working on it) and he became angry, eventually telling me to not talk to him and completely ignoring me as if I wasn’t there. Upon arriving back at the job (we’d arrived once before returning to the office the second time), he gets out and walks away, and I’m told arrived later on at the office to discuss it with our manager.
AITA? I had no intention of making him go the day without eating, I simply wanted to get done first a job that had been significantly delayed and not look bad at my job.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
k0SqUVSDcYmomxuaKxvsuTXUzOTurEkT
|
aiuxzs
|
{
"description": "yelling at a kid at the movies",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for yelling at a kid at the movies?
|
Over the holidays my family went out to see the new Spiderman movie at the theater. We got there a little early, got all our snacks and got to watch some of those pre-movie commercials.
So far all good.
Right before the movie starts a dad comes in with his kid (probably late elementary school, 10 or so?) near the middle of the row we are in. Immediately the kid starts to have a screaming tantrum about how he doesn't want to sit next to strangers. He's kicking his seat and smacking food onto the floor. The dad tries to make him hush quietly but the kid won't stop screaming. Other people in the theater are turning around to look at him but no one is saying anything.
The kid doesn't stop even when the actual movie starts and the dad still hasn't taken him out of the theater. By this point I'm irritated enough to start a conflict so I duck through the row and loud whisper to the dad something along the lines of 'get your fucking brat kid out of here or I'll find someone else to kick you out' (ok so maybe yelling wasn't the right word to use). The dad looks mortified and doesn't say anything, just pulls his kid up and walks out of the theater.
In retrospect maybe I should have just gotten an usher but in the moment I was too irritated to be 100% rational. I think the dad was probably stressed out and just didn't know what to do with his sucky kid, so for that I kind of feel bad, like I should have handled the situation differently.
TL;DR Kid is loud and obnoxious at the movies, I confront the (probably exhausted dad) and tell him to get out.
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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WRONG
|
413wTRLzwZngD3SQUHqlPexNvhEBS9Lg
|
b8dhnb
|
{
"description": "confronting my friend about feeling excluded",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I confronted my friend about feeling excluded?
|
So I was walking home from school with one of my best friends last Friday(we'll call her A), and another one of our mutual friends, who both of us are pretty close to(we'll call her B) tagged along. As I later found out, both A and B are going to hang out at A's place after school. This is the part where I was wondering if they would also invite me along, seeing as they didn't have much reason not to.
So, we get to A's place as we're walking, and both of them are ready to go inside. However, as I'm about to just leave without mentioning anything, A turns to me and says, word for word, "hey, B's mom is also at my house talking to my mom, so I feel like that'd be wierd to have you over."
So, being the peaceloving soul I am, I just kinda accepted it and went home myself. However, later I was thinking about the whole thing, and I realized it was kinda wierd, because if it were me instead, I would've just invited the person in too.
This isn't a parent I haven't met before, and I'm actually pretty close to her. I kind of want to talk to my friend and ask her what she meant by that, but I'm just not sure what to do here, am I being insecure?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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RIGHT
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ivYaK2lMAtC1bFiDTwdQyFE5xbEsUnCF
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b08rnt
| null |
AITA not vacation with SO family
|
Household is SO's parent, SO's older sibling & their 3 young children. I've never been good with younger kids but try my hardest. Every morning begins with a symphony of little kids screaming, slamming doors, & being fairly rude to their parent & grandparent. I'm usually up around 5am anyways for work & school but on my vacation I'd like to sleep in. That doesn't happen as I'm a light sleeper & up as soon as they stomp out of the room screaming for food; my head pounds & ears ring. The kitchen is open layout next to the living room where we sleep. (we can see into the kitchen from the guest mattress)
The house & yard looks like a tornado ripped through a daycare. SO's sibling's side of the house emits a filthy animal smell. They have 2 caged dogs that have an on/off issue with fleas from the last year we also visited. Our sleeping area had to be baby-gated around so the kids don't play on it & we wouldn't sleep on Legos.
My SO also does odd jobs & repairs around their parents house, that I DO NOT mind. I'll also help clean around the house. Sometimes food is made at home but follows a strict diet but it's changing. I'll cover for food but that can be a battle as the kids can be picky or expensive as 2 of them are going through growth spurts.
SO & crew look to me for the events of the day. I DO NOT like planning as I feel pressured to make sure the kids stay entertained to give their parent/grandparent a break. The times we go out somewhere with them are filled with screaming, crying & general little kid drama.
The times we don't go out with all of them I don't enjoy myself as I have this eminence feeling of guilt for not including them. I feel guilty if dinner isn't kid friendly. I feel guilty if they can't get a babysitter. I don't plan on SO & I having a date night while here as SO feels guilty for leaving their parent with the kids while SO's sibiling is at work. Going off & doing my own thing would basically be the death sentence of my relationship.
But this is supposed to be my vacation time... it never feels like one. Just an extended weekend visiting family. On the way home when SO asks if I enjoyed myself I'll say "sure it was pretty fun" but my head is screaming "NO! NO I DID NOT! IT SUCKED!"
I don't think I can do this again next spring & plan on telling SO how I feel. We've never spent a vacation JUST us 2. But I know he loves being here. This is the only time they get to see their sibling. I know they love being able to fix things for their parent. Not agreeing to visit feels like I'm not allowing SO the see them. AITA?
TL;DR
Spend my spring break with SO's long distance family. Little kids drive me crazy but feel guilty for their parent's sake. Feel like a babysitter during a time I should be bonding with my SO.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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cu7RiCjhr2klVBa7kvGSAFBbqBdjkJcl
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a2cnd3
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{
"description": "calling someones wish stupid and saying they shouldn't wish for it",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling someones wish stupid and saying they shouldn't wish for it?
|
It was a disussion on Facebook (of course wasn't gonna end well) in a closed group with OP saying that people should shut the fuck up about race if they have no clue about it *or* they should educate themselves. I disagreed and called that former part of her wish stupid as preventing people from voicing their opinions will likely let them radicalise those as they would only exchange opinions with like minded people and as telling people to shut the fuck up likely won't result in doing research but in creating a bubble which shields from other opinions and, as said, will result in radicalisation of the own. I believe even the biggest idiot should be allowed to voice ther opinion so there can actually be a discussion about that view. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
V8nbc1WMFdwS6N5poE998ApwGxvslcLv
|
b4q9cx
|
{
"description": "wanting to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA - for wanting to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon?
|
My wife and I came home with our new baby 6 weeks ago. Being a new mom, the curve for her has been a hard one. Being a second time dad I have tried to make sure she has all the support she needs. I keep the feeding schedule (if she’s up I’m up) so she doesn’t feel alone. I call her friends to invite them to stop by so she doesn’t have to feel needy.
I do all the housework anyway because I’m already a stay home dad. I do the shopping, cleaning cooking and managing of our older boys routine when he’s spending his weeks with us. I fix the cars I repair the house. I go and do odd jobs for extra cash so my hobbies don’t take away from the house finances. This is my usual routine. I have not asked her for help in it. He only thing I don’t really help with is her personal laundry. Ruin one cashmere sweater and you never live it down.
I don’t usually take naps it’s not a thing I really get to do. I treat being a stay home dad like a real job and so I make my self busy from 6am to 630 when dinner is over. Monday through Friday and from when ever breakfast is on the weekends till dinner. Just like every other stay home parent I don’t get a day off sick or not. Sometimes I dose in-front if the news or whatever show is on around 7 but I’m always woken up to a reminder that “I won’t be able to sleep if I take a nap now.”
Today I was doing some tummy time with the baby and we were laying in a strip of sun. It was warm. We were on the squishy rug. We both passed out. I got woke up to empty the car of the consumables we went to get today. I said “ok in a bit. I’m really comfortable napping with my boy.” Mind you it was only about 10 minutes. I got some attitude in her voice as she exclaimed that “well I’m up folding laundry and making the house nice and relaxing. So I’d like it if you would get the stuff out of the car.” Then the baby starts to cry. So I jokingly “said see you made he baby cry. He just wanted a nap too.” Apparently now I’m the asshole because I wasn’t doing shit and then made her feel bad for wanting I have a nap when she was motivated to do some chores.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b9yj4n
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{
"description": "not finishing my laundry in time for my mom to get home",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not finishing my laundry in time for my mom to get home?
|
So this morning my mom put a note on the fridge asking for my laundry ( like 2 loads) to be done by the time she got home.
Easy enough.
So i do my first load and wash my second. I then put my second load in the dryer. Then my mom gets home and starts raising hell about how i never get anything done when she asks me to even though my last load only had 20 minutes left. So my punishment? Grounding me, which I think is an overreaction but whatever. Thats not enough though. She then decides that I cant go to the movies with my older sister who is about to move away. So, were these two punishments warranted?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
yyfX0YFazYb5kcPFPzcFvo10LBEAvu6X
|
a3vuw9
|
{
"description": "disputing a charge on a tab at a bar I forgot my card at",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I disputed a charge on a tab at a bar I forgot my card at?
|
Last weekend I went out to meet a few friends at a bar. Needless to say, by night's end I ended getting a little inebriated. I also ended up forgetting to close out my tab and forgot my card at the bar, which didn't reopen until five days later. Despite my condition, I remember what I drank and in what order I drank them. All the drinks I knowingly purchased don't even come close to the amount that was posted on my credit statement. Additionally, I paid gratuity in cash as I ordered each drink, even though I had a tab open.
For several days, the charge pending on my credit statement was an amount that I thought was a little high, but well within the realm of what I ordered that night. However, today on the day when the bar reopened, the final charge posted. The thing is, this charge was a little over 70% higher than what was pending and seems far in excess of what I ordered and put on my tab. Today, I went to the bar at open to recover my card. I asked for a receipt, but they were unable to provide one (something about another company processing the transactions) and told me to return tomorrow. I ended up signing no receipt to authorize any charge to my card, despite a final charge being posted. I also looked at the signage around the bar and there was no documentation posted suggesting there is an additional charge for cards left overnight or unclosed tabs.
Tomorrow I plan on returning to get a receipt, which I expect to be itemized. I know for a \*fact\* I did not spend as much as the amount posted to my credit statement. Would I be out of line to refuse to pay for drinks (or additional gratuity) added to my bill that I did not order? Since the final charge was posted and I'd presume a signature is no longer required by the merchant, would I be the asshole if I disputed the portion of the charge in question with my credit card company? or in the event they are unable to provide an itemized receipt, the entire charge?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
I1WzNscUch4mcXB6ExnOdnFGl0AUIPpk
|
arfip7
|
{
"description": "getting in a fight with my step father",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting in a fight with my step father?
|
Some quick back story, my actual father became addicted to alcohol in my early teenage years and I often got into physical fights with him about anything and everything.
So now I'm 21 and mystep father got drunk in the middle of the day for some reason and was being a bit of a dick. I don't like confrontations so I went to my bedroom to take a nap so my mother could get home and take control of the situation.
An hour or so later he came down banging on my door and shouting from the other side. I asked him what was wrong and he just mumbled something about me being a cunt. So I went upstairs and asked him what was wrong. He just went around in circles about nonsense, he had obviously been drinking more since I went to bed. He became irate and I approached him because I was sick of yelling out to him across the living room.
At this point he braced himself against the counter and dared me to "try it", I was confused because I had no intention of doing anything of the sort. I tried to explain this to him but he kept screaming in my face and after listening to it for too long I grabbed him by his shirt and told him that he's not my father, and to stop acting like he was.
He then tried to pull away from me & when I didn't let go, he turned and shoved me. He was stumbling because he was quite drunk so I tried to get him on the ground to stop him from falling and hitting his head on the counter or table or even falling on one of our dogs.
When he was on the ground he started clawing at my eyes & ears, trying to gouge them. At this point I realized he's playing for keeps and I've gotta stop the fight to prevent any permanent damage being done to me. So I punched him once in the ribs and once more square in the face. Being drunk, he felt none of it and continued trying to get his fingers in my eyes. With that, I gave him a really nasty headbutt right on his nose. Blood went everywhere instantly, it was pretty disturbing. He decided when he saw all the blood that he had had enough and stopped fighting with me.
He and I are cool now but my mother is not impressed with either of us. Given that I tried to walk away, deal with it with words & only resorted to actual physical violence when I was at risk of permanent damage, AITA?
TL;DR Got into a fist fight with step dad & beat him up pretty bad, feeling bad about having to do it.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
ztcViKRoLpzU8jqIRbw8mSseG8yS41sj
|
ah5l1c
|
{
"description": "asking the guy in front of me to take his hat off during a Broadway Show",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for asking the guy in front of me to take his hat off during a Broadway Show
|
I recently visited New York for the first time so as any tourist, I did all the touristy things! One of them was to watch a Broadway Show. I went to go watch Chicago and as those of you who have watched this, the theatre is very small and the top level is very compact so everyone can see the showing.
For reference, if anyone has been to a hockey or basketball game on the upper deck, you have to kind of LEAN forward to see the game.
As we all start to get situated, I notice the guy in front of me has a pretty tall top hat. He was kind of dressed up nicely, so I didn't say anything before the show. About 5 minutes before the show, I tapped his shoulder and asked if he could take his hat off. HE GOES OFF. He tells me to never touch him again. How I can't see that his fashion point is the hat. His date? also tells me "mind your own fucking business and watch the damn show". This gets me pretty livid.... so I waddled my way to a theatre person and told her the situation. She pretty much says it's his property and he can choose to take it off or not.
So I go back to my seat and I "accidently" knock his hat off with my knee. ( this theatre is TINY and I'm about 6'1" so it's very easy to do so ). He stands up and throws his program at my face. At this point, the show starts and he's just yelling at me. I just stare straight at the theatre lady while this gyy is challenging me to go outside and face him. Guards take him away and not me because my neighboring seats defend my position. I feel a tad bad cause those tickets are expensive. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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WRONG
|
5eUixeV4XsnnAU0iLzZYkMdHkQelHXT2
|
arcuco
|
{
"description": "wanting to eat",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to eat?
|
Throwaway + mobile, sorry for formatting. This happened like 30 minutes ago and It’s bothering me.
So, my family and I are going to a different city today to do a rosary for a family member who passed away a year ago. I was told we were going to leave at 4pm and be there for the entire evening. It’s a 1 hour and 45 minute drive.
My mom has a terrible habit of not telling me anything we’re doing. I remember always being upset whenever I was relaxing on a Saturday and i was yelled at for not being ready to go to a birthday party i had no idea we were going to, and one I had no idea even existed. It’s frustrating and I’ve told my mother multiple times to PLEASE tell me about things we’re doing or places we’re going to in advance so I can be prepared. I understand when it’s a last minute plan and it’s like that for everybody, but I get upset when I’m left in the dark and not told about things. My mom does this so often and it’s frustrated me so much that every single day during dinner I always ask what we’re doing this week and if we have any plans.
So, I found out almost a month ago that we were gonna go to a different town for this rosary. Alright, good. I got more details as today approached, how we were leaving at 4. Cool.
Then today comes. I do some chores and I only ate a small bit of yogurt at 10am so i could not be starving but still eat lunch with my family.
My dad calls me, he left to go pick up my grandma so she could come with us and was on his way home. He was trying to call my mom but she wasn’t picking up bc her phone was in a different room. So I go to my mom with my phone on speaker. My dad says he’s going to pick up some Panda Express for my grandma, since she hadn’t eaten and asks if we want anything. My mom gets upset and says, “No, we’re about to leave to go eat where we’re going”
I got really confused. It was 1:30pm. We weren’t leaving until 4. She said we’re leaving as soon as my dad gets home and we’re leaving at 2.
I got upset. I said she told me we were going at 4. She said she changed her mind and wanted to go earlier to help set up some things. I told her she never told me and she said, ‘Well now I am.’
I said I hadn’t eaten a meal all Day and I didn’t want to wait 2 more hours to eat. So my dad hung up and i texted him to bring me some food. When he came home, he brought me some food too. Cool.
As I’m eating, my mom comes in and says to only eat a little because there’s gonna be a lot of food. I tell her I haven’t eaten all day, and I’d have to wait 2 hours to eat a full meal. Not only that, but we were going to be there until very late, so I could eat at around 7 or 8 since there’s gonna be plenty of food. My dad asked if they killed a pig to make, (the family lives in the countryside and on a farm.) and my mom said yes. This was kinda the final take. I have an allergy to pork that seems to get worse as I get older, and cross contamination with pork can cause a reaction. I said I wasn’t sure if I was comfortable eating there anymore, since there is most likely to be cross contamination. My mom looked pissed and left to go finish getting ready.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
3c08PhvuQRpOVbayiGlIm5NDLm33QkBn
|
b8qqbw
|
{
"description": "being annoyed with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed with my friend?
|
So I’m aware this whole situation is ridiculous and juvenile but nonetheless I want to know if I’m being unreasonable.
I have agoraphobia (basically an anxiety disorder wherein various situations cause me to have panic attacks). One of my biggest triggers is school - especially on mufti days (which is basically a day when we don’t have to wear our uniform + there’s usually a theme of some sort). This particular mufti day was 80s themed & for the graduating class of 2019 only.
Usually, I don’t go to school on mufti days but my attendance is currently at 76-ish% (due to my agoraphobia and depression) which is below what it needs to be in order for me to be able to graduate at the end of the year. So, I decided to push myself and organised an 80s-themed outfit, as did my friends (which I confirmed probably an annoying amount of times, since it was important to me that I wouldn’t be the only one dressed up).
What I had intended to do was to come to school in my uniform to make sure that everyone else was dressed first before I got changed, but my friend begged me to come to school wearing my 80s outfit so she wouldn’t be the only one on the train dressed up. I, unfortunately, agreed to this. However, she never showed up to the station. I called her to see what was up (once I was already on the train). She told me that she’d decided to sleep in and was going to come to school late, leaving me alone. I didn’t see anyone else who was in 80s attire (which wasn’t particularly unusual I suppose since only one grade was supposed to be dressed up), had a panic attack and decided to just go home because the thought of going to school and being the only one dressed up absolutely petrified me.
So, the current situation is that I’m kind of annoyed with her. I feel let down, since she knows my situation and was giving me shit for my attendance just the day before - though, I am aware my attendance, or lack thereof, is my responsibility. I haven’t brought it up with her nor have I, at least to my knowledge, been treating her any differently. Regardless, I think she can tell that I’m annoyed with her. I probably have a look on my face or something.
Which is why I’m asking you guys if I’m being an asshole. Am I even justified in being annoyed? My agoraphobia/social anxiety isn’t her problem and she doesn’t really understand it either so it’s likely she just didn’t understand how big of a deal dressing up was for me and how distressing I would find the situation she put me in.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Y5zhglG3sGeJj8vlSKqcIE5oA6jTr3Zn
|
aj7okg
|
{
"description": "ending a friendship with a guy that has very poor logic or reasoning skills",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ending a friendship with a guy that has very poor logic or reasoning skills?
|
Backstory: I have a friend who I’ve been friends with since we were both 11 in 6th grade (14, 8th now) and he is mildly autistic (we still treat him normally, he’s just very shy) Classmates know that we’re really good friends, so it is a big deal. Now that we’re older and he tends to have a bit more... *aggressive* arguments over dumb things with me, I say that’s fine, I argument then let him win because he won’t give up on arguments.
So today, at our club meeting that is trying to find a strong material for space exploration, he brings up that a website we might be using is a charity, saying that they’re “keeping the money for themselves” and that they “never donate to their causes”. He’s said things like this before where he says something that is complete bullshit that can be contradicted so easily. Even the 7th graders call him out on it saying that it’s completely untrue and embarrassing that they, the kids younger than him, have better logic than him (they said it, not me)
Also, he’s kind of a prick sometimes. He lashes out EXTREMELY easy and has attacked people for jokingly taking his pencil case.
So, AITA to end the friendship with him after all this time?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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WjZ7XJveQdYAjACwcgYTNOSWIMEoBGUw
|
aqqyqo
|
{
"description": "getting really mad at my best friend for peeing himself in my house while he was drunk",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting really mad at my best friend for peeing himself in my house while he was drunk
|
Long story.
It was his birthday, I won't specify how old he is, but just assume that were between the ages of 18-23. It was his birthday (Yay!) and me and a couple of the guys we're like "Yeah, this kid is gonna get super fucking drunk and just fucking hammered." We go to a party where we know NOBODY. Anyway, the night goes on.
At around 1:30, i'm the DD. I'm always the DD. I'm cool with it, it happens to work with my personality, since I like to take care of people. At this point he is considerably drunk. I take him back to my house, let him sleep on the futon I have in my room and assume everything will be normal.
3:45 AM rolls around, and i'm in this half awake/asleep stage where I cant tell reality from dream. I was having a dream of a waterfall, which apparently is never a good thing. I slowly come awake, and I can hear water hitting my carpet. I sit up, and this kid is just fucking sitting in my chair, PEEING. He is peeing his pants, piss running down his leg. I start yelling at him, mostly just in shock. I'll tell you the next part through dialogue.
"You JUST fucking peed your pants you god-damned stupid fucking moron." I was considerably angry.
"**NO, I didn't**."
"Yes, you did, why are your pants wet, and why is there what looks like a dark water stain on the ground."
"**I don't know dude, I think you have leaky pipes or something**."
A reasonable explanation. Also, I didn't put it in here but I was basically just in shock because he peed his pants in my room and I was really upset.
"Ok, well fuck you. Go back to bed on the futon, and you better have that all cleaned up in the morning." I rolled into bed and on my side, facing away from him. "You're a god damned moron."
I recall sitting there and thinking about how shitty of a friend he's been to me lately. I have been really upset, but I figure I should just shut up and appease him and be nice, because I think he is going through a hard time or something right now. Either way, I felt a little bit of pity for him.
It was when I began to fall asleep that I started to hear.. rustling. I just didn't want to deal with him anymore. I just really wanted to go to sleep, I rolled over to look at what he was doing.. and he was just standing up, not moving.
&#x200B;
"What are you doing? Sit the fuck down"
"**I'm standing."**
**"**Yes you are, and you should sit back down and go to sleep."
No response.
After a very awkward couple of moments, he walks over to my bed and flops down on it, face down, with the pee on his pants. I had tried to get his pants off him, but he insisted that it wasn't pee, and that my pipes were leaking.
That was when I had enough. I know he's drunk, but there isn't a reason why he should be doing this.
"Nope, nope, nope nope nope nope nope nope nope."
I get off the bed and stand over his not-moving body. I know he can hear me.
"Get off my bed."
He responds by laughing.
"Get off my bed."
"**Can I just sleep here?"**
**"**No, for two reasons. One, that's my bed. Two, there is pee on your pants, get off my bed."
"Get off my bed. Final warning, or i'm gonna move you off."
No response.
"Ok, I am grabbing you and moving you off."
I grabbed him, and moved him off the bed.
He responded by getting back on the bed. At this point I was just absolutely fucking livid, I was having thoughts of breaking some bones on this fucker. I started yelling, I ripped the sheets out from under him, told him to move his ass to the futon, and that "I have every right to break to punch your stupid fucking teeth in and you're being a prick, and were gonna have a talk in the morning." After that, I guess he gained enough consciousness to respond to hostile threats, and stood up. For ten minutes, we just yelled at each other and told him he was awful and an idiot, etc etc. I went to sleep on the couch, downstairs. I live with my parents (Yeet!) So at around 6'oclock, (In the time between 4 and 6 I hadn't slept.) my father comes in asking why I am sleeping on the couch, and I explained the whole thing.
&#x200B;
Morning time comes, I hadn't slept much, and I come upstairs. I told him he needed to take the sheets to his own washer, and he said he was gonna do them in my washer, and I said no.
He washed the sheets in his own washer.
We sort of resolved but we haven't talked much, and he still sends me memes, but I dont send him any or go out of my way to communicate with him. We've been friends for about five years, and I think maybe were just growing apart. He hasn't been nice, considerate, or shown any signs of value of me as a person as of late. Maybe we're both not assholes. This has been bugging me for sometime, and in retrospect there is a lot of things I could have done differently. Maybe we're both assholes. Please give feedback.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
NCnZzurLrgbAG8XRMsJPa8uDrlIdELKW
|
b6o4dq
|
{
"description": "pushing past a family blocking my way",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for pushing past a family blocking my way?
|
So I go shopping. I enter the store and there's this long ass shopping cart supporting escalator from the entrance of the building (and car park) to the entrance of the store. As I enter I see this family blocking the entire thing. No problem, I think. Walk up, politely ask them to make some space. The guy is starting to try and move the cart but does it in like the most stupid fashion imaginable and by the time he'd be done, we'd be at the top. So I push myself past them and am on my merry way.
As I'm doing my shopping, some guy walks up to me and just stands there staring at me (I got earbuds in). I notice he's probably there because of me, take my earbuds out and ask what's up. He tells me there was a kid in the shopping cart and it almost fell over when I pushed past. (which I HIGHLY doubt. There was barely enough space for me to push through so there is no way this cart could have fallen over as there was not any more space on the other side).
I am stunned, as I have absolutely not realized that there was another kid. There was one standing on the escalator, but I couldn't see what's in the cart as the people were standing in front of it when I approached from behind. So any accusation that I... wanted to hurt the kid, accepted that a kid might get hurt or something similar is just wrong.
While I'm collecting my thoughts the very tactful man makes a remark about how I am not even going to apologize... so I cut my thinking short, I apologize to him and tell him I had no intention to put his kid in harms way. Afterwards I tell him that I wouldn't have had to push past him if he didn't block the entire escalator. To this he replies basically:
1. You can wait behind me (yea cool, everyone has to adapt to your pace I guess and if you want to stop everyone has to?)
2. You have a very bad upbringing (excuse me?)
I replug my inears and leave. I cannot take talking to that guy and since I've got nothing nice to say, I decide to shut up.
I don't think I did anything wrong - after all, if you're going to block a pathway for everyone else, you gotta expect people to push past you, no? I still said sorry because even though it was entirely unknowing, I had no intention of putting a child in harms way and can understand that parents go into "I don't care if ITA, that's my child!"-mode.
I mean am I wrong to think that what I want is people to be considerate of each other and what he wants is people to adjust to him? Is my perception here warped? (this is probably the most important question here)
3000 characters is the most stingy restriction ever. How do you even write a short story of what happened with this without leaving every second detail out?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
AOeDMRlENvEmpcMeUmhxOglJJ6H4Gtw4
|
b19exn
|
{
"description": "arguing with a family member of an accused murderer",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for arguing with a family member of an accused murderer?
|
Background: a young mother was murdered last year in my town (Ohio). The husband was arrested shortly after. Their 3 year old son was given to his closest relatives, the family of the husband.
The woman's sister lived in Turkey, and was originally from Isreal. She filed for a Visa to come to the funeral, but was denied. After 7 months, she was allowed a Visa to try and get custody of the nephew, as she feels he should not live with that side of the family. She said she would immigrate to the US, as she wouldn't want to force the child to relocate. The husband's family refuses to let her see the kid, and a legal battle is brewing.
Potential A-holism: A guy on my Facebook, someone whom I've known casually for about 7 years, often posts anti-immigrant, "the media is the enemy" things. He posts how the sister from Turkey has changed her FB status to "living in (our town)" and that this "is how illegal immigrants sneak in, and how terrorists get their start."
This post got to me, as someone who works at a newspaper covering the story, so I explained how she was here legally, and how she's seeking residency because she wants to take care of her nephew.
He called me a liar, accused me of falling for the media conspiracy (and told someone else to "do what they can"to remain vigilant against liars), and said I was being racist for thinking he called her a terrorist "just because she's Arabic." At that point, he revealed he's the brother of the accused murderer, and the child is his nephew.
I apologized for not knowing, but still maintained that he can cry "illegal immigrant" all he wants, but "terrorist" went too far.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
|
QmQnXjQ0XIvxhT3IEogjRLAXrmzq3UTY
|
b9ywk4
|
{
"description": "thinking my friend was lying to me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for thinking my friend was lying to me
|
So me and my friends have a discord server which I run due to being the smartest with technology in general. I like to regularly check the audit logs to monitor everything and I noticed something strange. My best friend who I gave Moderater permissions created an invite link that wasn't to the default. I approached by just asking about it then he claimed he didn't. I said it's in the audit logs and he claimed it was an accidental then claimed he remembered when I brought up it not being default configuration. Am I just paranoid or should I be suspicious that he's lying and trying to go behind my back.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
etzjIwzLE7Gy0uQ2uNJlkkudv8VL8auE
|
amfviv
| null |
AITA Coworker out of context text?
|
Context: Coworker currently has an ankle injury and has had to use a scooter for mobility concerns.
&#x200B;
I don't even really know how to phrase this so bear with me. So, the previous day (Friday) I help a coworker out to the front of our office where their spouse picked them up. There were some concerns about some awkwardness about being left alone waiting for said spouse, so I hung around. The following Saturday morning, I get a text about how another coworker, lets say Janice, left her there and a separate security guard was kind enough to keep her company while she continued to apologize. There was no context, just a text talking about Janice and how she didn't know what to do but continually say "thank you". Janice was also out of the office yesterday when I helped my coworker to their spouse outside our office.
&#x200B;
The text, to me, came out of nowhere and I was immediately concerned that my coworker had taken some sort of medication for the ankle injury or something else was wrong. The conversation went roughly along the lines of:
&#x200B;
Me: "are you ok?"
Coworker: "yes, are you ok?"
Me: "Janice was out of the office yesterday what are you talking about?"
Me:"Seriously you're ok right? Don't make me call you"
&#x200B;
Coworker then says this is getting rude, and then provides context that they were referencing when Janice helped her out on a previous day. I apologize for not understanding, as I thought there was a health problem due to the random text, ankle injury, and referencing a separate coworker when I didn't know what was going on.
&#x200B;
I ask another question about a topic I was researching, and coworker seems upset. Am I the asshole for how I handled that situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
649TtPBu9qrJwn0ei8HS09vavmqiLhWU
|
an1dao
|
{
"description": "being mad at my mother",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for being mad at my mother?
|
I (f17) have a pretty good relationship with my mother, but it's a problem in the way that it makes it hard for me to be/stay mad at her.
heres some context
I have two older brothers, who are completely hopeless and never help around the house. They're both big gluttons and they almost never clean anything, not even their own rooms. They're typical gamers, and only sit in their rooms all day in front of their computers, and they almost completely shut themselves out of the family and social life in general.
So naturally, my mom is really fed up with them.
Problem is, she takes her frustration about them out on me. If she's pissy about my brothers, or anything at all (she's a stressed person with a lot on her mind most of the time), she ends up getting mad, and taking it out on me. She doesn't hit or abuse me or anything, but she can get loud or speak to me in a very accusing or unfriendly tone.
It's especially bad if I'm the reason she's mad. If I'm doing bad in school, or don't help her with chores, or if I go to bed too late, she gets mad at me.
Last night I was up a bit too late, and she got mad at me, and said the reason I dont sleep at night is because I always sit too much with electronics. I've struggeled a lot at school the last years, and have skipped a lot bc of depression, and last night mom said she wouldn't be surprised if I dropped out of school soon. Then she went off to bed.
I got really mad, because in general she is a very caring, supportive and kind mother, and I expected her to have more faith in me than to think I'd drop out bc of insomnia, depression and being shit at school. I'm going to stick out, and get an education even if it kills me to do it, and I thought she of all people, would know that.
And then there was this morning. She woke up grumpy, and when I asked her if we had any pizza leftovers in the fridge (a very simple question, with no bad intent behind it), she said "Of course not, if anything like that lays visible in the fridge it doesnt last long", obviously referring to my gluttonous brothers. And she said it with this tone in her voice, like it was somehow my fault. So I got mad at her again.
Now, I'm a **really** oversensitive person, and will start crying easily. So today was about to cry, which is the reason I often let it go before even confronting mom if I'm mad at her. I don't want to start crying, and my mom is the last person I want to be mad at, because when I'm upset, she's the one comforting me. But I WAS mad at her, and this time I didn't want to let it go, if things are going to get better, I'll have to confront her if I'm upset about the things she says to me.
So I left for school without saying goodbye, which she noticed, and realized I was mad about something. So on the way to the bus, she sent me a message saying she hoped I would have a good day.
Every time I'm sad or upset, even if its because of her, mom always makes an effort to cheer me up, and she has been a really great help with all of my problems (like depression, diffculties in school, etc) I just feel like a dick to get mad at her. She really is a great mother, it's just when my brothers shuts themselves in their rooms, her complaining comes to me, especially since I have many of the same bad habits as them (just not in the same amount).
So am I an asshole for being mad at her?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
Nv6CJhLyqYYKxz7zvNDjHPhPvkXCC4cV
|
b7m9ct
|
{
"description": "not wanting to hang out with my 2 close friends after they started dating",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hang out with my 2 close friends after they started dating.
|
We've been close friends for 2 years (in college), but after they started their relationship they've really changed.
I try to hang out with them, but when we're walking together they can't keep their hands off each other (not full blown pda, but arm in arm, whispering to each other, etc.), and don't seem all that interested in keeping me in the conversation (despite calling me over).
I have no problem with them doing whatever they want, but it gets super stressful for me being made to feel like a third wheel. Despite being invited to hang out with them, they don't seem to be interested in doing group stuff and seem infatuated with each other.
AITA for not wanting to hang with them and probably avoiding them instead of maybe trying to talk it out? Cause I feel this should be pretty obvious, don't invite me to tag along a date ffs.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
1XYD5UEJWyUA4ppGyGOGhzt0ruPV5pPf
|
9z8qpw
|
{
"description": "refusing to travel 800 miles and pay $180 for each ticket (yeah, seriously) with my girlfriend to see a band she loves and I hate",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to travel 800 miles and pay $180 for each ticket (yeah, seriously) with my girlfriend to see a band she loves and I hate?
|
Title, pretty much. I feel I'm on the right here since it's a shit ton of money to spend, plus traveling, accomodation, and food. And I absolutely despise that band. They're playing a festival and I don't like any of the bands that also play either since they're pretty much that kind of new indie pop that's popular nowadays and I'm more of a metal/rock/emo kind of guy (Sorry to any indieheads that read this!). So I don't want to go. Really. I don't. I may go to the city the concert is at with her, but I doubt I'll go to the show. Still feel like an asshole for telling her no.
She said it's okay by text but I don't know if she means it in the "Nah don't worry babe, it's all right" way, or the "I'll say it's okay even through I'm actually really angry at you" way.
I'm going to tell her I will go to the city with her, but I doubt I can make it to the concert. Which is the truth. I love the city, I just don't want to go to a concert of a band I absolutely hate.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
XF1WXnUVmdiq9tkWg8GbTIghzLm8CqB3
|
aogrk9
|
{
"description": "recording the rude 6yo to prove to his parents that he is a rude child",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA If I recorded the rude 6yo to prove to his parents that he is a rude child
|
So I've been forced to watch the kid every so often for little to no pay since his somehow family ( I dont know how, possibly a family friend thing). I don't work but I am looking for work and brought up doing the babysitter thing but only for INFANTS, not a whole grown child. The kid is insane he curses and acts like he is the boss but when his dad is around he is the perfect gentleman.
Would it be wrong (morally and legally) if I recorded him and showed his parents?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Njnoir7tFvWzD3rCP1dm4Wc8HiKngHW4
|
akuv51
|
{
"description": "not caring about my older brother being suicidal",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not caring about my older brother being suicidal??
|
Last night was my daughters 5th birthday and everyone was drinking and having a good time. It was at her grandparents house so i left to go home a little bit early. My brother seemed happy, although a bit too wasted for a child’s bday party, but hey the entire house was singing the smiths at the top of their lungs when i left so he it wasn’t like he didn’t have company.
Today i get a phone call from my mother (that’s his roommate) saying he was talking about killing him self the previous night. I told my mom that he was a “big boy” and he could take care of himself. She told me i was being insensitive and i should “talk to him”
AITA for feeling like that’s not my responsibility? I know she wants me to talk to him because i suffer from depression and anxiety, and that’s annoying cause that doesn’t make me the goddess of mental illness. I feel like she’s putting it on me to fix his “problem” when he should go to the hospital if he’s serious (or she should call 911, she is his roommate for fucks sake). I mean i obviously care but this is waaay out of my lane, am i wrong?
My brother is single
My brother has 1 friend
He’s 34 years old (I’m 27)
He is employed
I fear my mother may be his best friend (yikes)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
7WQmbg7aWXp2uXtzV82zenxxmvuqCPVr
|
a499l3
|
{
"description": "getting mad because I was expecting a friend to wait for me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad because I was expecting a friend to wait for me?
|
Using a throwaway of course. I'll try to retell the story as accurately as possible and let me know if you think that there's a part I'm leaving out and I'll let you know.
&#x200B;
So it kind of started because we all played a game together. I was playing with someone, we'll call Joe, who I've been friends with for a long time. After playing this game for a while, I asked if he wanted to play another game something like League of Legends or so. He accepts so of course I start getting on but my discord starts getting buggy. That's pretty much the only platform I kind of use to communicate with my friends because snapchat or facebook. Anyway, I was trying to make discord work again while my League loaded up and when my League loaded up, I realized that he was a full queue with another group. That's fine and all but I was pretty much upset about this since I asked him first to play with me. I mean, it's common courteousy right? Or am I expecting too much? I asked another member of the group, since I know them, if it was full and they told me it was full. I didn't care much really because I mean, if he wanted to have fun then fine by me I guess. I didn't really mind being left out because I didn't want to ruin his fun. I was still sitting in the League cilent when they went into queue and played a game. My other friend, Bob let's call him, told me to play some other game with them so yeah, I got off League cause I wasn't planning to play anyway. Fast forward a few hours and then Bob told me to get on League so we could play. Why not, right? So I get on. When I get on, I get an instant invitation from the other group of friends. I was confused but I guess they were out of the game. However, I was curious why they weren't a penta queue anymore and I was confused who was in the party so I went to check their match history. Turns out that the previous games they played was a quadra queue. There was room for me but no one told me. They had me on discord and snapchat so I mean, I would have expected them to tell me something. Something to note is that during this time, they didn't send a single message to me so of course, I'm upset. They should have let me know that they had space. They should have let me know that especially since I asked Joe first to play but he decided to play with another group of friends without bothering to tell me. All this time, I thought it was full which is why I didn't ask so of course I'm upset. I message him telling him that I don't want to make him feel bad but that simply wasn't cool to do. I was expecting some sort of sorry or some sort of "it's my mistake" but what Joe told me was that he didn't think he was wrong because he assumed that since I went offline on Discord, he assumed I wasn't playing. What I'm stuck at is why didn't he let me know he was going to play with them or even just message me through the league cilent? It was a really harsh debate and it was tough but we made up later along the day. While it's over, there's still a longing for me to know like, was I wrong for getting mad because I was expecting him to wait for me? I didn't want to bottle up my feelings this time. The debate itself was pretty much both of us getting very upset at each other and we both said our fair share of terrible things so yeah I'll admit I was an ahole for that. I try to be nice most of the time but sometimes, it's just really hard to keep everything bottled in which is why I confronted him about it.
&#x200B;
I've been told that no one is an ahole because he was just enjoying himself and in the heat of the moment, of course you're just gonna play some games together. Sometimes you forget what people asked because there's a lot of people in the call and everyone is getting "hyped up." I know for a fact that what he did was not intentional and nothing personal. He's not a bad person and he's very understanding but I guess in the heat of the moment, I basically got extremely upset. I really like him as a person and I really enjoy his company. We been friends for like several several years so it's not like he's a stranger. But just because he forgot, according to the person, doesn't mean that they were wrong. They were just enjoying themselves.
&#x200B;
Others have said that we were both the aholes since it kind of escalated to the point that it was during a call I had. Basically, other people were there and we were sitting there arguing at each other. And when I say that it was heated, I kind of mean yeah it was prettyyyy heated.
&#x200B;
I've been told it's his fault cause he should have at least let me know and not ditch me like how he did.
&#x200B;
And some say it's my fault cause I was trying to force him to do something. I know that I shouldn't force people to do things. I don't like forcing people to change the way they are for me or play games with me. It only hurt because they didn't let me know anything about what was going on. If I knew he wanted to play with them, that would be fine cause why not but since I didn't obtain anything, I get really angry. I think this is one of the few times I've been actually very angry which scares me. I'm not a type of person to do that and I'm ashamed of getting mad but I want to know if I was the ahole for getting extremely mad or not.
&#x200B;
The majority of the time, I would say 99%, we're a very relaxing group to be around so there's not a lot of arguments. I think I broke the silence because I felt like I was lied to but I'm not sure. Maybe I'm overreacting which I was told that I was. I didn't want to start a problem but since it's here, I want to hear your thoughts and maybe get a better understanding as a whole about the situation instead of my own bias thought about it. Thanks
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
kSt2NqsFNfucHgi4Z7E1BT42Kk09KFeQ
|
aucblu
|
{
"description": "working on a project without my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for working on a project without my friend?
|
I do a lot of royalty based income work, I like to create. My friend suffers low confidence but not the type where people seem to want to help her anymore, instead she’s become very biter over the last year and can’t seem to be happy for anybody. She always has something unpleasant to say recently it seems.
I write songs as part of what I do and I thought as something nice to do I would offer her to work on a track with me sometime. She loves singing. Her voice really isn’t great but there is always auto tune.
So last year I wrote a track and played it to her asking if she’d like to sing on it. I wouldn’t say she looked down her nose at it, but she didn’t bother to bring the topic up again. Fast forward to this week and I’ve found a wonderful singer of the opposite sex to do vocals. He sounds absolutely amazing and has transformed what I’ve done. I’m going to be releasing it soon.
The problem is that my friend is now being off with me because it was supposed to be her song to sing.
She has piggybacked off me so much over the last year and tried putting me down in so many ways, this feels like the last straw. I’ll just add that this is a 40 year old grown woman behaving like this. There is no support for my work or even any nice words to say, it just seems to be about her again.
I’m ready to walk away from her. I’m finding her behaviour very toxic. However, I’m posting here because maybe there’s something I’m missing and I’m being unreasonable? I’m too irritated to think objectively right now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
1a7ZmonuL1ZPLAlGUWFmIZN8RnP2gpGG
|
9u11ph
|
{
"description": "being mad at my family over a game of risk",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being mad at my family over a game of risk?
|
A little backstory to this:
A couple years ago i bought the boardgame "risk"(if you want game specifics look it up). Now, i loved this game, but could never play it with anyone, so it sat mostly unused. Until today, when my grandmother and mom decided to play it with me. So, we sit down, set it up, and i explain the rules. We then play for about 10 minutes before my mom and grandmother decide to change the rules. Whoever can control all on one country first wins. Now, if you know risk then you know that that is utter bullshit, as with that rule you could win the game from litterally your first turn, or in this case(since were 10 minutes in) the next turn. So guess what happens? My mom wins and the game is over. So of course i am angry(though the most of this i show is maybe a dissapointed face). The one time i actually want to be social and its shut down in 10 minutes, and i suspect that they changed the rule just so they can quit playing and hopefully have me leave them alone. I know this is kinda petty but i still got angry over it and i want to know if my anger is justified or not. Its to the point where i wish they just would have said no or i didnt ask in the first place. So, random people of reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
FShPaoU4XVd4UKGHUBBeGZWxiN6Go5jT
|
a5zqyr
|
{
"description": "being annoyed that my husband got me a birthday present",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being annoyed that my husband got me a birthday present?
|
Background: the two of us live pretty frugally. This is partly because of our current financial situation and partly because we're both naturally frugal people. At the beginning of our relationship we mutually decided not to exchange presents with each other at Christmas time. We also generally don't do birthday gifts.
My husband's birthday was two months ago. I asked him what he wanted, and he told me nothing. I asked a few more times in the weeks leading up to his birthday and he still said nothing. This didn't seem out of character to me at all; consequently I got him nothing. I mean, I made him a card that the kids and I signed, but that was it.
Today is my birthday. I assured my husband several times over the past few weeks that I didn't want or need anything. This morning I noticed that he had left a card for me on my dresser before he left for work. When I opened it I realized there was also a gift card inside to a store I like but rarely visit.
I know it was really sweet of him and I'm trying to focus on feeling grateful, but I'm also fairly annoyed that now I have no idea if our whole "no gifts" agreement even means anything any more. Is this a sign that he actually wanted a birthday present even though he said no? Do I need to lie and say I'm not getting him a Christmas present but then secretly get him one now?
Tl;dr -- I did not get husband a birthday present 2 months ago after he asked me not to. But husband just got me a birthday present today after I asked him not to. WIBTA if I share my annoyance with him when he gets home tonight?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
CCPeLNKGrvSXcoEVjTJFlkFbUtbw22GZ
|
a87tcx
|
{
"description": "being honest about not liking an Xmas gift",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being honest about not liking an Xmas gift?
|
My husband is usually an EXCELLENT gift giver. Since we have insane work schedules and don’t get to see each other much, he had me open my Xmas gift tonight. I unwrap the package and I see it’s an UGG box. I ask ‘is this what it really is?’ and he says yes. I’m not anti-UGGS. I have a pair a friend gave to me years ago. They’re comfortable. They’re total Becky boots but comfy as hell. I continue to open the box and when I pop that lid and peel back the paper - I see seafoam green. Seafoam green boots. I am a nearly 40 year old woman that dresses like an aging goth kid, or more accurately, Daria as an adult. Seafoam green is a delightful color, but not my jam NOR my jelly when it comes to clothing or footwear. I pick them up and say ‘wow. these are... different. not a color I’d have chosen for myself’. He knows the jig is up. He says ‘you don’t like them’ and I tell him it’s not that I don’t like them, they just aren’t my style and I can’t picture what I’d wear them with. He then tells me that a friend of ours helped him pick them out. They both thought they were totally me and since he wanted to surprise me with something I’d never get for myself he thought they’d be perfect. He assured me they can be returned and I felt just awful but I had to agree, they just aren’t my style but I really appreciate the thought. I end up talking to the friend that ‘helped’ pick them out later in the evening and she tells me she was actually looking at them for herself and sent them to a family member so she hoped she didn’t get them because it might be triggering for my husband since I didn’t like them.
SOOOOOO - am I the asshole for being honest that I didn’t like the boots? I feel like I was respectful in saying thanks but no thanks but I can’t help but feeling shitty.
Also - should I tell my friend not to send my husband things she’d buy for herself if he asks for help in buying me gifts in the future?
THANKS!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
edjirf6yeYK2Yuz181kdjV0lSKZAXy2Y
|
b3u22t
|
{
"description": "using an older picture on Tinder",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for using an older picture on Tinder?
|
I recently broke up with my first and only girlfriend, we'd been together since we were 16. Never had tried dating or online dating for this reason but I figured I might give it a try. So I made a Tinder with some pics of me. One of them was a bit of a candid shot of me shirtless holding my Maine Coon kitten, that was last year May I think so about a year ago.
Back then I was crazy lean, I had dieted down for summer for a long time and was probably around 8% bodyfat. I was super cut, abs, Adonis belt, everything. However at that point I was also quite light and relatively weak, I wasn't really satisfied with how strong I was. Also being that lean was really hard, I often felt tired and my diet was super strict.
Which is why I decided to bulk up until recently. I gained a lot of strength put I'm also nowhere near as cut anymore. I'm probably 16% bodyfat or so, which isn't fat by any means and actually less than the average man has but it's not lean in any case. However I want to get lean again soon so I'm getting that physique back and I'll even look a lot better with the added mass.
I matched with a girl and we talked for a while. We seemed to get along well enough so I set up a date, just to have drinks. However when we met up she didn't seem as enthusiastic as previously. After some time she told me she thought I looked different in the pictures and actually pulled that one up after I asked her what she meant. I explained to her how I had been getting stronger and a bit thicker but that I would work on losing the fat again and I'd look better than in that picture.
However she kept pestering me about it and how long it would take for me to get back to that which I found a bit frustrating. Personally I'd prefer a woman who loves me at my bulkiest as much as she loves me at my shreddiest. So there wasn't a second date since I broke off contact.
AITA for using that pic? It's not super old and the only difference is that I have bit more fat mass now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
VzSnn0azMbCjUR733wc4pOh6rJyxgbcp
|
b9ebjq
|
{
"description": "asking my roommate to pay for the modem wifi box she threw away",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for asking my roommate to pay for the modem wifi box she threw away?
|
October 2018: I move in with my friends E, D and V in a student appartement where they lived for a few years. I also had sublet a room there for 8 months two years prior. As the previous guy leaves, I take over the internet subscription and the guy from the company comes install a new modem box.
January 2019: D and V are a couple and give their end of tenancy notice to the landlord. Turns out there is some sort of loophole and the landlord finds a way to evict us all for April 1st.
Thursday March 28th: I let E know that I've cleared all my belongings and she can do whatever she wants with what's left in the appartement (i.e. lots of legacy stuff from people who lived there before).
Friday March 29th: I store my stuff at the next place I'll stay and leave for good as I go away for a sport event over the weekend. I tell E she can use my vacuum cleaner. She just has to hold on to it after. I also leave the modem box behind so E can have wifi for the last few days. However, I don't mention any instructions about holding on to it.
Sunday March 31st: With a lot of stuff to handle, E's mom come help clearing out the place. Eventually one of them throw away the modem box. (I was reachable by standard means of communication)
April 2nd: I'm back in town and ask about the modem box as there is a 200 $CAD unreturning fee. I ask her to pay and blame her as I claim it's common sense to not throw away a functioning, practically new, most likely rented piece of expensive electronics.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
vE3jrFBRvAvb1s0fcJqvpLL7xbE6gQtz
|
a7rhk2
|
{
"description": "saying something to checked out parents",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA For saying something to checked out parents
|
So I don’t know if it’s against the rules because this happened this time last year, but I just learned about this sub and this event still sticks with me, but if it has to be recent, then ill take the post down to adhere to the rules
So at the time, me and my mother were going out to eat at a chain pizza restaurant, because they had an AYCE buffet going, and my mother was to have neck surgery the next week and would miss this opportunity until she recovered in 3 months, so we went
When we got there, it turns out that there were 3 separate birthday parties for i think like 8-9 year olds going on, but they were all related and in one big super group type thing, so we picked a booth away from them because it was deafening how noisy they were, with the kids running full speed around the establishment playing tag and screaming and several almost ran into my mother, who due to spinal issues has to use a cane, walks slowly, and has terrible balance
I looked at the parents at the tables and all the dads were drinking beer and talking, and the moms did the same with wine, no supervision, just letting their children rampage around the place acting like it was alright, and I wanted so bad to say something, but felt like until one of them knocks over my mother because they aren’t paying attention or something, I would be an asshole because “they are my children, don’t tell me how to parent”
So I would like to hear opinions/ judgment because I believe I would have been in the right, but i need outside input if you please
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XAEiKzOuOMBh1sr8j4w9r1PI0wDNNpy1
|
aug041
|
{
"description": "going on a date",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA - For going on a date?
|
Weird title I know. So there is this girl that I like but she has a boyfriend (what a home wrecker, I know). The thing is I've been taking her to places like the aquarium or botanical gardens which she hasn't been and knows she really enjoys going to places like these. This gets her boyfriend annoyed, which I don't blame i wpuld get annoyed too if my girlfriend was going to these places with another guy.
So am I the asshole for taking away these dating experiences?
(My apologises of this makes little sense)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
5IqEA22MHaWE5Tknk023ymgLTiu3DSUY
|
b2pi6u
|
{
"description": "refusing people's hugs",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing people's hugs?
|
I have always been uncomfortable with any kind of skin contact with another person. I don't like touching, which means I don't like hugs.
At my work, we had a "going away" party for a co-worker who had quit, and it was her last day. At the end of the party we were all saying our goodbyes and everyone hugged her, one by one. After she hugged everyone except for me, she looked at me and attempted to hug me. I avoided it and went for a high five (still touching, yes, but way better than a hug). She looked hurt and my co-workers were shocked, thinking I am cold hearted.
This happens to me alot, usually with goodbyes and it makes me feel guilty. Am I being rude and inconsiderate? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
hRLhMU8CJf7EYxJ6iE4xdyIcCRD7bsB1
|
b7jt1e
|
{
"description": "leaving my manipulative friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for leaving my manipulative friend?
|
Ok so a bit of backstory, I'm a 14 year old girl with few irl friends and leading up to this point, I'd been manipulated by this "friend" that I'll call K. I never had the courage to stand up to this girl or tell her off because I was scared to.
In this roleplay server we used to have, she would constantly be causing drama to get attention. K broke many, many rules in the process. At this point, nobody really wanted to confront her since we all found it pointless. Plus, most of us were nice people, and no matter how rude K was, we thought we'd be just as rude by unfriending her
The final straw was when she used two of her characters to hospitalize and traumatize two of mine
"But they're fictional characters"
Yeah I know that but it isn't the point here. She had pulled that shit way too many times and frankly I wasn't having any of it.
So I left the server and blocked her.
I had been working on a drawing for a long time and I posted what I had in the art section of that server. I realized I had forgotten it and didn't have it on my current device so I was invited back to the server to briefly to get it... That's when shit really happens. (introducing new character M)
(insert name) has joined the server
M: No. Hell no. Leave. Right fucking now.
Me: I'm not here for long I just need to grab something
M: that doesn't fucking matter. You had your chance.
K: exactly
M: no. No, no, no, no, no. NO. FUCK NO. You had your fucking chance but you got all bitchy and childish over nothing and left. Nobody fucking wants you here. Your a little bitch who gets butthurt over every little thing and whenever shit doesn't go your way.
Me: I just need to grab a picture real quick and I'll leave.
K: nobody fucking cares. Have somebody else get the picture for you. Just don't come back.
M: where's the bitch-begone spray I need like five bottles
(K proceeds to laugh and support M)
K: who invited you back in the first fucking place? Just get out of here.
M: you need to grow up and learn how to deal with it.
I left the server afterwards without ever retrieving my picture. A friend screenshotted the conversations and apparently they told the server owner, a good friend of mine, to not let me back and to block me.
Btw M is in her early 20's so these two adults antagonizing a 14 year old
And from what i could tell, nobody else there did anything. They didn't want to stick up for me or tell K & M off because they didn't want to start any more drama. They did all DM me though afterwards to try and calm me down
I'll admit that I didn't try to resolve things before leaving. My main reason was because my attempts to talk things out in the past just made stuff worse. I felt horrible about it though.
My real friends all told me that I did the right thing but did I? Maybe I should have stayed longer and tried once more to talk?
I'm sure I'm not in the wrong but I want your opinions.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
YKslhHgUPXbAWU6QB4hednYxLTjVjoNh
|
apurcb
|
{
"description": "making my classmate fail",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for making my classmate fail?
|
Hey Everyone!
I know its wrong to cheat during an exam but me and my classmates used to do it all the time,We'd help each other out on whatever we didnt know from all the way across the room sometimes!
Back then most of the teachers in my school didnt really seem to care so we got away with that stuff.
During one of the exams, A rare strict teacher was watching over us so we couldnt get away with much cheating this time unless the person was right next to you.
A classmate of mine who was an outgoing,fun girl who everyone liked including my own friends was sitting right beside me. I didnt particularly like her but i didnt really mind her either.
Lets call her Kay.
Kay called my name and asked me to cheat for her, i helped her out on a few questions,But after a while i got pretty annoyed and started ignoring her.
Rude of me i know but i felt like Kay never tried and always relied on others during the exams.
I felt that she didnt deserve anymore of my help and that she was gonna have to learn one way or another that she cant piggyback off of other peoples hard work all the time.
Yeah i cheated for and from others before as well but we never relied on each other for almost every single question,I thought that it was a selfish/inconsiderate thing to do as well as a waste of the other persons time,like you should study at least some of the material y'know?
After the exam,Kay cried about how i didnt help her and told everyone what i did and that it was my fault she was gonna fail even though she was the one who didnt study.
My friends and classmates told me that i was being a hypocrite and a self righteous asshole.
Was i being a self righteous hypocrite? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
mjeXR6ptfqxsgqQoMhcXvzR2jpM8Br5z
|
ajn39j
|
{
"description": "focusing on wanting to save money to move countries to be with my gf? she thinks I should focus on myself",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for focusing on wanting to save money to move countries to be with my gf? She thinks I should focus on myself.
|
I (33F) had a fight with my gf(27F) cos I'm sacrificing on many of my personal endeavours to make money to save and move with her to another country. I'm not in anyway stopping her in pursuing her goals. I just feel that being with her is more important then my own endeavours. I am fairly settled in my life in terms of career and finances and my only real goal now is to be with someone who loves me and I love back.
With that said I do have abit of low key anxious attachments when it comes to relationships. I need consistency and her physical presence and touch.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
9dhYz6l7ur56QftwAoqIWYRtFaOTSyyN
|
ata428
|
{
"description": "being mad about my boyfriend's female friend coming over while we were hanging out after he told her he was going to be unavailable",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad about my boyfriend's female friend coming over while we were hanging out after he told her he was going to be unavailable?
|
Last weekend me and my now ex were hanging out. He had been with a female friend of his who is Rich and pays him to do side work for her all week. As such, he told her that he was going to be busy all weekend because he was hanging out with me and he was going to be unavailable. Everything was fine until Sunday night when she decided to show up at his house without warning and stick around for 3 hours.
Unfortunately her husband is abusive and she was just trying to get away from him but I still think that she overstepped her bounds by coming around without warning especially when he told her that he was going to be unavailable. I'm sure she had other friends that she could have gone to. The thing that bothered me the most was that she was asking him to stay at his house for a few days to get away from her husband and did so right in front of me.
He is still living at home while waiting for his disability payments to kick in but I still feel that it was inappropriate for her to ask him something like that knowing he's with me. After she left, she texted him saying can we please move in together because I can't live with my husband anymore? I was super pissed about it because again that's inappropriate.
Apparently she also asked him what he sees in me and he claims that she didn't say it in the way that I think but I still think it's super rude and inappropriate. It's none of her business. Apparently he told her it's because I'm the only woman who's ever cared about him and that I keep him grounded and keep him from doing stupid stuff that would land him in jail or worse. Again though it is highly inappropriate and rude for her to ask something like that.
I highly suspect that they have something going on between them because why would she be asking those kinds of questions and be asking to stay with him otherwise? When I was angry about her showing up with no warning and asked him about it he got super defensive and literally told me to fuck off if I didn't like it and told me that I was not going to treat him that way. I don't feel like I treated him any kind of way because I feel like he should have set boundaries with her.
Am I the asshole for being mad about her showing up unannounced when we were supposed to be hanging out? And am I in the wrong for being mad about her behavior towards him and accusing him of having something going on with her? I don't have concrete proof as they say trust your gut. I just want to know if I'm wrong in this situation? Like should I have not jumped to conclusions or am I right to be upset?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
qYFCmD5eXuDhplsEW2XnFbWV5byp0CV4
|
au62v8
|
{
"description": "asking my girlfriend to put in more effort",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA asking my girlfriend to put in more effort?
|
There’s this girl that I’ve been dating for around 2 months now and she’s had a thing for me for probably close to 2 or 3 years (yeah I know). I know that she really is happy with the current state of our relationship and really enjoys being with me but I’m just getting tired of it.
I’m the one who has to plan every single date, I’m the one who has to make the first move in anything, I’m the one who has to pretty much do everything for our relationship and it’s getting exhausting for me and I’m not feeling very happy. It’s hard to feel happy with a relationship when I’m putting in a lot of the effort and compliments and everything and she gives me nothing back. I know she cares about me because she mentioned in our first month that she’s getting me something for my birthday which at the time was 2 months away. She’s obviously in this for the long run and cares but I’m just not getting anything from her.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 3
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
xtoJjnWHiqBR9Kcv4HOupwft2x2B0MQ9
|
9wm0t9
|
{
"description": "distracting my friend from his girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for distracting my friend from his girlfriend?
|
So, a bit of background: My (17M) friend (17M) has a gf (18F). We'll call him James and her Kate. James and Kate are always together when I walk by James. Kate hates when anyone detracts James' attention away from her. Knowing this, I decided to start singing a random classic rock song at him when I walked by him in the hall. James joins in and sings it with me for about a minute. Kate then walks away in embarrassment. James was perfectly fine with me randomly singing at him. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
iqZKJyQUXsw5DouvNIagTHn4pyVGRjfb
|
b9fq3x
|
{
"description": "having sex with a FWB after ending relationship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For having sex with a FWB after ending relationship
|
Im a Sophomore in college and I met a really nice girl the first week of school and started hooking up with her and took her virginity. Nothing formal just a FWB type situation. We had casual sex for about 5 months (i know its a ridiculously long time for not being in a relationship.) We both talked to other people during this time period but neither one of us hooked up with anyone else (she went on dates though). So a couple weeks ago she told me that she didnt want to keep hooking up because she was in love with me and knew I didnt feel the same way so we decided to stop hooking up but remain friends. This was surprising news to me because I didnt know she caught feelings. A week after this happened I went to a nearby frat party and she happened to be there. She sat with me we had a couple drinks and she initiated physical contact and started making out with me. One thing lead to another and she told me to come back to her place so we went and hooked up again. Now her roommate and her friends thinks Im an asshole for hooking up with her and accused me of leading her on. Am I really the asshole in this situation or are we responsible for what happened?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
6rx2w8rtIdpJOafBbOwYvWuFFz4C6jP3
|
b503ft
|
{
"description": "wanting my bf to do more chores",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my BF to do more chores?
|
I (25F) am unemployed. I quit my last job and I'm working tirelessly to get a job. I live with my BF (32M) who works FT in retail. When not at work, he's on his computer. Because I'm home all day, I agreed to take on more chores. But we both agreed that cleaning shouldn't be my full responsibility.
A few years ago, the roles were reversed and he was the unemployed one, at home playing video games. I was working two jobs to make ends meet for us. He didn't help too much with chores then either (because we had a third roommate who loved cleaning).
Here's how it goes: I'll mention about wanting us to get some cleaning done tomorrow and he agrees. The next day comes and we wake up, chill out for a couple hours, and then I slowly start making my way to cleaning. He'll still be sitting at his comp. I'll mention something in passing like, "do you mind doing the dishes" or "could you take care of your pile of clean clothes in the bedroom" or "do you mind changing the water in your fish tank" (because I'm so small so I really struggle picking up the buckets of water that high and stuff AND ITS HIS TANK -- fish keep dying because he won't take care of it) and he just goes BANANAS!
"*Sigh* okay yeah fine but *I work all day* I really just wish you did this stuff while I'm at work"
What I do for chores:
- our laundry
- clean the bathroom
- vacuum
- clean 2 other fish tanks
- take care of our bird
- dust
- de-clutter
What he does for chores:
- water changes on the large tank
- he mopped the kitchen last week
We agree to swap dishes duty every-other time. But when it's his turn, he'll let the sink pile with dishes on both sides for days until it smells and we have no dishes. And even then, he's asked me in the past, "what do I need to do to make you take my turn haha" or sometimes he'll do only half of them at a time, let it pile up again, and the cycle continues for a couple weeks. And sometimes he leaves the ickiest ones on the bottom and say he "can't deal with the smell" and asks me to finish them.
After he's done moaning and groaning through a chore or two, he sits back in front of his comp and vapes while I'm still running around trying to clean the place. If I ask him to do another thing it's a big *sigh* as he gets up to go do it and says again "I work all week and my back/shoulder hurts."
While cleaning last week, my boyfriend told me at least twice "you don't need to make it that clean in here jeez" My blood boils just thinking about it. What the fuck is wrong with a house that's clean? Our apartment itself is already a dumpy place. I also have MDD and the clutter makes me feel 10x worse. I just wish he would help more and not make me feel like a grade A piece of shit when I ask him to scrub the toilet.
AITA for being upset with my BF because he won't pitch in without being mean about it? I don't want him to start falling into a groove of me picking up after him for the rest of our life together. I'd love to know everyones POV.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
iXgemmCXTyaVrLOksVpJiPBXnDWzLw3D
|
b9mmck
|
{
"description": "ditching my group and soloing a project",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I ditch my group and solo a project?
|
I'm a HS senior taking Japanese 4. My teacher likes group projects, and this time he assigned the groups himself because he wanted us to learn how to work with others we may not like. However, my group has not been cooperating with me.
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This project is supposed to be a 5 minute film. It's composed of me and 2 sophomores: S & K. I was the one who reached out to them first, got their numbers, started a groupchat, and asked them on Tuesday when a good time to work would be. We have Friday/the weekend off and I was planning to work then because I'm very busy with other classes next week. S asks the groupchat if we can start planning this Monday, which gives us only 2 days to film and edit the video if we did just the whole script that day. She also doesn't want to meet after school and asks if we can do it during the 30 minute study hall we have each day. She wants to film in a single classroom, but explaining the project is a long story, so I'll just say that filming in a classroom wouldn't work well because we're supposed to be giving a "tour" of several rooms. K seems ok with meeting outside of school, but he also doesn't seem to care what happens either way.
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Both of them stopped responding after we exchanged like 5 text messages on Tuesday, and today I texted them again asking if they were free on Friday/the weekend. S asks again if we can wait until Monday, and I told her that it wouldn't be enough time but we could start the script this weekend and film then. K agrees and says we can plan the script this weekend. S proceeds to ask if we can do it over facetime. I don't have an iPhone. She asks if I have Skype, but I have no webcam. I sense that S doesn't really want to get out of the house, so I ask her if she's busy this weekend. She tells me she has sports practice on Friday and a race on Saturday. Then K comes in and says he's going with his family to Niagara Falls the entire weekend. I asked them if I can make a google doc for the script and share it with them so we can all work on it while being apart. They said that's fine, but I doubt the script would be coordinated since none of us are talking to each other and expressing ideas while writing it.
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I explained the situation to my parents and they're pretty livid, suggesting I email my teacher and do the project on my own, leaving S and K in their own group. I told them I would wait until Sunday morning and see if anybody has contributed to the script besides me, and if they haven't then I would send an email. My parents, however, want me to do it asap so that I'm not limited on time. They told me that I shouldn't be getting an F because of my group and even if my groupmates were pissed off at me, they'd be on my side. However, S and K said they'd work on it and I feel that I should give them a chance before I go off on them for being incompetent. So, if I bail on them now and solo the project, WIBTA?
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"description": "promising to make a second study video and never doing it",
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AITA for promising to make a second study video and never doing it.
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Hello,
So the story goes like this:
I consider myself "smarter" than my colleagues in high school, and they also consider me as one of the "smartest people in class" (I know this sounds arrogant but its true).
I'm new to this high school, so when I see that they have a WhatsApp group were they record audio tracks to help each other study I give it a go.
I record audio tracks for a science exam, and apparently they were really good, so they ask me to make audio tracks for the next one too. I accept and instead of audio tracks I record videos for them using a whiteboard, they loved it.
Then a history exam rolls around, but I tell them I won't be able to do audio tracks or videos because we had too many projects due and I didn't have time.
That's when they said that I was "letting them down". So I promised I would do audio tracks for the next 2 science exams.
I do the audio track for one of them, but Im unable for the other one.
Its 1 month from this and they still say I'm letting them down, which makes me mad, as in my mind it was a favor to even do videos.
AITA for promising I would do more videos?
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HISTORICAL
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akhbhz
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"description": "not wanting to play Mario Kart with my brother",
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AITA for not wanting to play Mario Kart with my brother?
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This is stupidly long, sorry.
TL;DR: My brother has anger management issues around losing. This makes me not want to play Mario Kart with him because when he gets angry it stresses me out. However, he really wants to play Mario Kart with me and I'm conflicted on whether me saying no makes me a jerk or not.
My brother and I have a really good relationship, we're essentially best friends.
I love playing video games with him, and I enjoy watching him play single player games.
We've played a lot of Mario Kart in the past, and the problem is that he tends to be a sore loser. He gets very angry, tends to shout, cry, and sometimes acts violent (slams fists down onto the floor, etc. he's never hit me or anything).
We can't play monopoly anymore because of this kind of attitude towards losing, he takes games very seriously and it sucks the fun out for me and makes me very stressed and anxious.
it's really hard for my to understand how upset he gets over losing a game and I'm worried I'm gonna say the wrong thing and he'll get even angrier, which is another reason I'm reluctant to play with him.
He keeps saying that he'll change so that I play Mario Kart with him but he never does, and I've brought it up with him several times to explain why I don't feel comfortable playing Mario Kart. I offer alternatives, usually cooperative games where no one can really lose because you're on the same team.
I understand that you can play a team mode on Mario Kart but the issue is even if we're on the same team if I get in first place he throws a fit.
He's not happy with my reluctance to play Mario Kart with him and I feel bad because I enjoy spending time with him but I *really* hate playing Mario Kart with him because there's zero enjoyment in it.
I realize I could purposely do bad so that he'd win, and I guess I'm a stubborn jerk for admiring this, but I don't like purposely losing. It feels unfair to the other person.
Apologies for how long this is, it's just been eating at me because I feel really conflicted. He *really* wants to play Mario Kart with me, and I feel terrible turning him down.
I want him to be happy but I also want to be happy. Am I the asshole?
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AITA for not being a better employee?
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Okay, this might be a bit long so fasten your seatbelts.
I am a 20 yr old guy who is starting university this year. This is about an incident that happened approximately a month ago during work. I'm going to go to a university 400KM away and will not return for a while and wanted to get this mess out of my head. I apologize in advance for bad grammar, ranting, and lack or too much of info.
I before being selected to university started an internship at a reputable bank in my country, and the branch I was assigned just happened to be the second busiest one in the region and therefore despite interns usually being allowed to do only the simplest of tasks me and the other interns were provided the necessary authorizations to do most things a normal employee was able to do.
I worked there for 9 hours on all weekdays and it was usually very late when I got home even more so because our branch operated for two extra hours compared to other branches. We were paid approximately 2.5$ a day as opposed to 250$ of a BT (Bank Trainee). The work environment was excellent. There were no harassment and the playful joke or two never went beyond acceptable.
After 3 months of work, I was pretty much aware of how things worked and on a particularly busy day all our JEA (Junior executive assistants) of whom there were usually 2 had to leave early and I was the only one manning the counter. (Not the cash counter, we were at the service counter.) I was a bit restless because I had plans for that night and to not be late I wanted to catch the bus that left at 7.15 pm. So I was ready to run like the wind as soon as the bank closed at 7.00pm.
Then at the last moment comes a man wanting a new ATM card. I pretty much rushed through it and in the hurry I forgot to take his ID with me when I took it to the officer in charge. He then proceeded to give me a lecture using not so nice word but nothing I haven't heard before.
On a side note, the officer was a by the books prick. While I can understand there is a standard that is to be maintained in a bank when we write 'Sign OK' nobody needs to check it and in cases of emergencies if the signature and the photograph match we *can* provide certain services without the ID... EXCEPT with this office officer (I'll call him Mr.A for ease.)
Anyway, I was late and I went back got the ID and returned to another lecture in which he wasted further five minutes repeating the same thing I was pretty restless by now. Anyway, after I return The same customer says that he wants to apply for E-Banking and he wants it done now, with nothing to do I continue to do that and I was pretty much disappointed as I will be pretty much late if I had to do that, but well responsibility is responsibility so I get on with that.
Another thing I forgot to tell is my family is from a different region of the country and there are subtle differences in speech that I consciously suppress but sometimes slips out. One of them is that from where I am from we ask someone "can't you do .... ?" instead of "can you do .....? " to imply respect.
So I again go to my officer armed with all necessary documents signatures and in my hurry, the words slip out of my mouth "Can't you please approve .... ?"
Mr. A at that is f\*\*\*ing pissed and tears me a new one saying to show him respect and he worked on the bank from when before I was born and the whole bank is looking at me. He gave me no chance to explain and sent me away telling me to find someone else to do it for me. I had to go to the manager and in the end, I was thirty minutes late to some personal business which is whole another can of worms that will not be opened today.
I mean I was and am pretty pissed at this but that weekend me and a bunch of friends from school met and I told them about it. They made me realize why he might have been mad (I actually didn't think from his shoes up to then) And from the next day I was extra polite to Mr. A, but f\*\*\* if he didn't spit in my face at terminal velocity.
No reply to "Good Morning", No "You are welcome" to Thankyous and no looking at the face. And believe me, I kissed his ass for all it's worth but nope, It was as if I was some kind of machine that existed to go through the motions.
I mean, I was okay with it, we can do the mutually ignoring thing if that is to your liking and he *was* a very senior office after all. And if I did file a complaint what am I going to say "this guy is ignoring me"?
Anyway, life goes on and mutual ignoring continues until finally one day I ask him to sign my attendance sheet (Inters as they only stayed for a very short amount of time marked their attendance on sheets and at the end of the month e-mailed it to compensation and benefits.)And he tells me to find someone else to sign it while it's clear that all the other '*someone else*'s are busy. And believes me I was as angry as I had ever been at the bank. Ignoring me is one thing but refusing what I am entitled is quite another.
This was around the time I got my letter of enrollment. I pretty much lied and said I had to resign within two days and today I did.
And after all that I still feel angry and sad. Do I need to 'man up'?
AITA for all things above I had done? For resigning? For not clearing the air? For not being a bigger person?
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"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to play soccer",
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AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to play soccer?
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Hey Reddit
So some background. My girlfriend loves playing soccer. She’s played both club and high school every time it comes in season. She is great at it and I couldn’t be happier that she has something to play that makes her happy. Because of this love for soccer, this is how she met her now ex boyfriend (he is a manager). They dated on and off for 5 years and finally she ended it for good. Now we’re dating and she is still playing soccer. But before we started talking, she still liked him and did things to hurt me. I lost all trust in her and we ended up not dating then. But eventually she dropped him completely and I eventually started to talk to her again. Long story short is, she’s done things that make me not trust her the most.
(I’m sorry if this is all hard to follow, it starts below)
The problem that I am dealing with is that she is playing soccer and he is a manager. Before she even started soccer I was worried about it and I told her I was. She told me I had nothing to worry about but I still am. The reason I am still worried that she is playing soccer and interacting with him on a daily basis. Let me reiterate, I don’t mind that she plays soccer, I don’t like how she sees him daily. I told her how I feel about her interacting with him on a daily basis but not once did I say you can’t play soccer because of him. She knows my opinion and I try not to tell her how I feel unless she asks. I just support her and I’m glad she’s playing soccer but I’m not happy about the interaction.
So reddit, AITA?
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| null |
AITA - Roommate with constant visitors
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So obligatory happened 10 years ago.
I had a roommate for 3 years. We had been friends since we were kids and decided in our 20s to get an apartment together, we had already both lived on our own before. We lived in a nice lakeside apt, that we both loved, had small arguments as to who would get to keep it down the line, which was always a joke, but she wanted to keep the place and hinted at it all the time. We had made some informal rules, for cleanliness and how often visitors can come over. I am a loner, so I asked that she not have friends over every single night.
Year 2 comes and we both meet someone, I would stay at my bf’s on the weekend and her bf started coming over EVERY NIGHT. They were loud and smoked a lot of weed. You could be outside and look at her bedroom window and there would be a stream of smoke spewing out. I smoke as well just not nearly as much, so personally I could deal, but it bothered my neighbors who asked me numerous times to speak to her, which I always did, to no avail. This obviously started to strain our relationship as I was the one the neighbors knew (she wasn’t the borrow sugar from the neighbors type, I am).
At first I didn’t say anything about the bf being there nightly, I had somewhere to escape to on the weekends so I could deal. Looking back I think I should have tried to stop this behavior when it started instead of trying to put up with it. But she was in love and I didn’t want to deny her that. He lived at home, and has a very strict Muslim family, she told me they were not accepting of her.
Eventually I got dumped, and I no longer had the weekend escape. I was heartbroken, and never felt I had the privacy to really heal. If I was home, so were they, the walls were paper thin so shutting the door didn’t help, and when I wanted to cry, I didn’t feel like I could really cry that ugly cry I needed. I finally told her I really needed the visitor rule to be respected, she flat out said no. He would come over as often as she pleased and I would have to deal with it. This is when my behavior started to get shitty. I was upset and became mopey. Our Hellos were very strained, and I would head straight to my room when I got home. I would play my music loud in order to drown out their noise and wouldn’t really stop myself from slamming cupboards and drawers when in the kitchen. I admit I acted like a child.
So, the friendship was over while we were still living together. One day she called me saying she had moved out while I was at work, she refused to pay any of the rent that was left on the 6 month lease, and stupid me, I had been the only one to sign it. Her reasons were that my behavior warranted her leaving with 0 notice. When I got home, quite a bit of the communal furniture had been taken, my kitchen table, my couch, and my living room TV. She left me 0 contact info and changed her number. In the end, we both lost the apt as I couldn’t manage the payments on my own.
AITA?
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AITA for excluding a good friend from her group?
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So, i have a good female friend that i know for about 5 years+. Usually i have my own friends where i live and just meet her whenever i visit my parents place on the weekends.
I got out of touch with most of my friends in the same area that my female friend lives, since i moved to a bigger city and have my friends there and most of my old local friends around my parents place don't share the same interests/have obligations or no time.
So recently i had to move back close to my parents location and started to spend time with the girl i've known for so long.
She introduced me to her group of female friends and we spent a lot of time together with the group. I immediately clicked with the group and they liked me and last weekend i bumped into them while drinking in the city. During the same time my friend wasn't that happy that they decided to join me on my "bar tour" instead of hanging out with her at the same place (We always spent time at the same place every weekend, because my friend likes the place and we all go there because she wants it). During our bar tour we realized we had some common interests, so we booked an activity together without my friend. (She doesn't like hiphop-shows) Now she's pissed at me, because i spent time with her friends instead of going "through her" to meet up with them.
I'm really glad that she introduced me to them and i owe her this. I don't have a lot of friends around this area. Am i the asshole now for spending time with her friends without her? She's sometimes a bit difficult, but a nice person in general.
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aridgd
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{
"description": "bailing on a hookup for olaying Taylor Swift",
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AITA for bailing on a hookup for olaying Taylor Swift?
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This happened 3 days ago and it's been in my head ever since. Throwaway because people know my real account and I don't want them to know about this.
I met a guy at a bar and we both hit it off really quick. We went back to his place and to get in the mood he wanted to put some music. He put on Taylor Swift which was a red flag in itself and out of all songs he could've chose he put Bad Blood. I thought that was weird, but I was way too drunk to care so we began making out.
Just when we were starting to get into it the first chorus comes up and... I don't know *why* I thought it was so funny but I just broke out laughing. I wasn't even on my period and I don't know why my brain decided to connect dots that weren't even there but we stopped after that.
He asked me what was so funny and I tried to explain but he didn't really seem to believe me. I thought that maybe he thought I was laughing at him so I tried to explain but he looked even more confused. The atmosphere was... really awkward so I told him "I'm sorry" and left.
I feel awful for leaving without assuring him more but it was so awkward I thought it was best to leave. AITA?
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as2thd
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|
AITA for not heeding my wife's irrational warning not to use the elevator?
|
My wife is someone who like to think she's very observant. She will leave a hangout with friends and say something like "I think Ellen is going to leave John. She ..." and then give an example of something Ellen did to give her the idea. It's not always based on reason, but sometimes on what she calls her "intuition." So obviously sometimes she's wrong. She never remembers these times, only the ones where she got something right.
I usually just listen and smile and nod and let her have her theories and superstitions. It's usually harmless. She keeps a little notebook of them and says some day she might write a mystery novel or something, which makes it worth it to humor her.
We live in a pretty nice building, but it's a little older so there are some quirks. About a week ago, she told me that while she was in the elevator, she got a weird feeling and that the "lights flickered" or something like that. She said she thinks it's a good idea if we avoided using the elevator and let the super know. I said "Ok dear" basically and went about my day.
Well turns out she was right this time. How do I know? On my way up with the groceries from the garage, I got in the elevator... and got stuck. Someone had gotten in between our floor and the garage and we both got stuck in there right after the doors closed. We were stuck in there for about an hour.
When I told my wife, she asked me why I went in the elevator after she warned me. I told her that I wasn't going to make myself walk up 3 flights of stairs with groceries if I didn't have to, and that after we told the super he didn't see fit to change the elevator to out of order. I told her I wasn't going to put my life on hold because if a "feeling" she had that something "might" happen.
She got hurt by this and has been laying low for the past few days. I saw that she was talking about it with her friend on twitter and just had to toll my eyes because she paints me as some big villain.
I don't think I'm some big villain or that it's wrong of me to base my life around facts and things I can prove. But am I?
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HISTORICAL
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AITA for not wanting to work with my friend anymore?
|
Sorry in advance if this is kinda a long back story.
Me and my current best friend and roommate met roughly 6 years ago at our first job(restaurant). Not too long after that she got promoted from a cashier, like me, to a supervisor position. At first it was a really nice gig having my friend be my “boss” simply because of favoritism. However that quickly turned around. As a few months went on she eventually became a manager and I began to notice a difference in how she had to treat me. I wasn’t just her friend but her employee and she didn’t want to get into trouble which I understood. Eventually I got another job at a small bakery in a grocery store and she moved to a different restaurant location with the same management position. After a few years of having to work at both places without having her there of course, I found it hard to get any sort of promotion, raise or recommendation from other management. Both places I was always seen as a good worker but never good enough for any type of higher up job.
Towards the end of my time at the bakery I was being slowly cut hours and my boss was especially terrible to me which I still believe today was simply because I was young (I was the youngest out of a majority of older women) and school started taking up most of my time. I was struggling to pay rent and needed money badly and my friend had told me they needed help at the new restaurant where she helped manage. I saw it as a opportunity to make the money I desperately needed and applied. Again it was great at first but then not too long after she quit to focus on finishing her education. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to finally try and get that job promotion I always wanted! But to no surprise to me I didn’t get it... I met my current SO at the restaurant where he was also a supervisor. He later quit to get a better job and I was turned down for both positions.
All of that happened within the past couple years and now I’m noticing it again. She ended up graduating and receiving a bachelor degree in hospitality. So she needed a job and so did I. It was my idea to go and apply at the hotel where me and her currently work. I wasn’t too fond of the whole idea from the beginning and I should have trusted my gut. It’s now been half a year we’ve both worked there. It’s a small hotel with only 100 rooms. There is also a small restaurant that’s part of the hotel. We both applied for the front desk job because it paid the most. She ended up getting the job while I was offered the job in the restaurant until another spot opened up at the front desk. So I took it because again I needed money for rent and school. At first it was nice because I was making not too bad money. Then my general manager’s true colors began to show. He gave me a bad impression from the start and I could tell he was not a fan of me and I wasn’t of him. He’s one of those solid tall guys with a beer gut who talks with a condescending tone to everyone he speaks to. Especially women. I asked for a couple months to switch job positions when I knew they needed help at the front desk. I was finally able to switch over to the job. However his office was connected to the back office where the front desk was so I had to work with him right there with me for 8 hours a day. I knew I was a great worker and guests would often tell me that I was too and let him know personally. He didn’t see it that way. He began to cut my hours and I ended up moving into the housekeeping department to keep my income steady. I didn’t mind it because I’d rather have less pay than deal with his terrible ass. Shit you not he told me in his office once “even if you’re (me) depressed (which I wasn’t just having a bad day) to just leave it at the door and to come into work with a smile”. Turned out I was great at housekeeping! So great in fact that my supervisor for that department wanted to promote me to be her assistant. Finally!!! Someone saw how much I care about my work and others and actually appreciated me enough to do so. But I couldn’t take it because once my school schedule started I couldn’t be there when I was needed... i was devastated and upset but I understood.
Now my problem is that my best friend and roommate is once again receiving the assistant general manager position at the hotel. Part of me is happy for her because this is what she got her degree in and it’s better pay for her. But I’m mostly pissed that once again I’m at a job where she gets promoted and not me and I now have to talk to her like a boss and not just a friend. The GM and my friend get along fine. They’ve apparently been planning for months how to get rid of the AGM and let my friend take her place. One day he asked my friend if he should fire her before or after Christmas... like seriously wtf...The current AGM is a nice lady with two kids. She knows her job and has been there for years and does it fairly well. She was even texting my friend the other day to ask why the GM had been giving her the cold shoulder etc... she went ahead that same day and told him all about her texts to her and threw her under the bus. She plans on getting this position within the next couple weeks and with my hours once again being cut to just weekends I’m over this place and having her as my boss. She was texting me the other day not as my friend but as my “future boss” and to call work and talk to the GM. Which I hadn’t even received any texts, calls or emails from to do so. So I basically told her no. My supervisor has become unreliable and so has my GM. I don’t trust my friend now when it comes to our conversations about work and I’ve already got an interview for a new job this Friday. I’m ready to just quit with no explanation as soon as I get another job and she can explain awkwardly to the GM and my supervisor why I did. We’re stuck being roommates for the next year too.
So reddit, can someone please tell me...AITA for wanting to do that to her and my job?
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
1PHLOE0UgWRDLUOwODIA6zeziyK6HZkj
|
au083t
|
{
"description": "confessing having suicidal thoughts",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for confessing having suicidal thoughts?
|
Backstory:
I'm your average depressed teen from England (Yorkshire to be precise) and I've had a fair few friendships ending, some ending bad and some ultimately for the better. Also new to Reddit so let me know if this post belongs in a different thread
TL;DR: I've had thoughts about suicide and my (now ex) best friend doesn't want to be around me anymore
So in the past 6 months I've had two friendships almost end, and one end and it's starting to fuck with me emotionally.
Not sure if it's me overthinking stuff, so I want other people's opinions
I've been having suicidal thoughts (nothing bad, the worst of it was thinking about how I'd like to go and if it would actually benefit me and others) This made me quite conservative and not really talk about my feelings. Had an argument with my then best friend cause she thought I was hiding stuff. So I confessed. She was one of the closest people I was with and I thought I could trust her with anything.
Since then she's been weird with me, and recently told me I've changed, which I can't deny I have, but it's mostly just me being more pessimistic and less talkative. She says I've been using "suicide as a weapon" against her.
This whole ordeal of losing one of the people I was closest to has fucked me up a bit, but I'll turn out alright.
Not looking for any help with my mental state, just wether I'm the asshole or not
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
419YdC3eTu3O3JNcOmvMH0iEAYRlTFdo
|
b14mrg
|
{
"description": "wanting my gf to pleasure herself",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my gf to pleasure herself? (NSFW slightly)
|
My gf refuses my suggestion to invest in some adult toys for times when I may not be in mood due to schedule issues, overwork, or stress. She seems to think toys and/or porn is cheating or something despite the fact that I beg her to do it. (Not in front of me, wherever and however she pleases.)
I know her unfulfilled urges contribute to her being more stressed and sometimes angry which in turn makes me more stressed and forms an unpleasant feedback loop. AITA if I beg her more or buy the top 3 toys on Amazon for her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
6HfnX1yYn7hMn9dmYW1CB1uHkAwt6isf
|
arptgw
|
{
"description": "saying \"oh shit\" in front of a bus driver when I realized my bus pass ran out of credits",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for saying “oh shit” in front of a bus driver when I realized my bus pass ran out of credits?
|
he said “no swearing “ with a slightly pissed off and moderately stern look
45 year old Caucasian man
I then said “could I just board the bus just this once?”
He said “you can do whatever you want , but no swearing “
What’s wrong with saying “oh shit?” I don’t recall there being any children on the bus
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
VpnjLW5Q3lm5OT9ipL9LJhs90IfdToyT
|
ave8ao
|
{
"description": "preferring some privacy with a friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for preferring some privacy with a friend?
|
Before I start of I wanna clarify that the context in its entirety does not have any romantic nuances with anyone involved.
&#x200B;
Some backstory: I am apart of a teamspeak server with around 20 people and we play online games together for fun. So me and this other individual, lets call her Robin has been apart of this server for quite some time and we knew who each other were but never really played together until circumstance brought us in the same lobbies. We clicked really well, great chemistry and started DM'ing each other.
&#x200B;
Fast forward a month and we've become great friends and started our own private calls playing games on our own away from the main teamspeak server we met on. We're both introverted (not to the point of socially inept) and can appreciate the quiet of solely two people. The owner of the teamspeak server, lets call him Tom does not like this (whom I go way back with around 14 years so we're also great friends).
&#x200B;
Tom approaches me on the matter and says "It's time for CS, stop playing with Robin". I respond with "hush" and he says "its kinda fucking awkward when you two go into hiding like that". Now me and Robin had talked about it and if we invited a 3rd person they would kinda be third wheeling because of our chemistry so unless we are four we're staying on our own. So me and Tom go back and forth on the issue and I approach him on what his problem is with us being on our own and he says that he would appreciate getting invited and is quite disappointed in us.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yUHq8ADlYlzfbmbeerYvYqKZ4OAQXcge
|
9vayne
| null |
AITA My wife eats sweets faster than I do.
|
So in an effort to make sure I still get to enjoy some sweets I sometimes hide them. Context: I have 2 bags of candy in my office drawer. She eats her half of the candy much faster so I make an off hand comment, this is why I hide stuff. I wasn’t saying to be mean, I just wanted her to understand why I hide candy sometimes because she also gets upset when I hide candy. AmItheAsshole for telling her this why I hide the candy? Also part 2: AmITheAsshole for hiding it in the first place?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
a9uMjxq14oFOiH5YFcYvlGt0NWENsEvC
|
b6op2q
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my friend when he came over",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friend when he came over
|
(AITA?)So my friend came over the other day after telling me that he has been too busy with work for a few weeks now. I was fine with him being busy and didn't want to push or get aggravated until i found out that he wasn't busy with work but with a mutual friend going out drinking and spending time at her house and refusing to come over because he wanted to go see her. (which i would have been fine with if he had straight out told me but he lied). I found out that he was going over there when i called our mutual friend to find out what she was up to. Then the other day i called our mutual friend and my male friend was there so i asked to talk to him and then invited him to come down and play Pokemon go with me. He ended up coming down for the first time in months and we left to go for our walk and start catching Pokemon. Once we got away from my house he started talking about our mutual friend and his sexual ventures with her and other very inappropriate things, i asked him how many times he had gone to her house since she got back but he was reluctant to tell me which i was fine with since that wasn't exactly what was bothering me but then he stopped and said that if it hadn't been for the fact that our mutual friends ex husbands family was coming over he wouldn't have come down at all. At this point in the walk i put my phone away and didn't feel like playing Pokemon with him anymore. then he asked me if there was a place he could get a snake near where we were, and i said yeah that there was an ice cream place so we walked over there and he ordered his food. Now i live in a very small town where everyone knows everyone, my male friend turns to me and starts to talk about his penis and her and other really nasty stuff right there at the front desk of the ice cream place for everyone to hear even after i made it clear that i was getting uncomfortable so i decided to walk ahead of him a little as we walked back to my house and i felt awkward and angry because instead of really hanging out he was saying inappropriate and nasty things not just in front of me but in public so when we got back i decided i wanted him to go home and make an excuse of why he had to go home but he didn't actually leave foe close to an hour after that which was irritating. until finally i told him i wanted him to leave and he did. we haven't spoken since.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
6fyP4LU4roKoNjdUJE8itxqLGUwdnAvl
|
awfaxw
|
{
"description": "not standing my boyfriend's best friend/\"daddy\"",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA because i can't stand my boyfriend's best friend/"daddy"?
|
I (36F) have been dating my bf(28M) for 5 months and every single time we hang out, my man's roommate/landlord/ bestie dude acts Jealous,obnoxious, egotistical, blunt and at times, rude. AITA for telling my bf it's a deal breaker if i have to deal with this guy ever again? He's known him 12 years which he's made very clear! I'm so done!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
vmRObY2gAH6BmwnAOyIgZo2tO3nUpWJe
|
b5lrop
|
{
"description": "telling a friend to tone down his ego",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling a friend to tone down his ego?
|
So I'm going to be real here. I made an account on reddit for this reason.
Basically, I have a "friend who acts like a total dick (in my opinion) to me and his friends. A day ago, I muted him because I didn't want to hear him argue with a friend but also because he would'nt let me finish my point, when I let him do so. Now tonight he starts bringing this up making it seem as if I'm the one at fault. He says that I was spewing bullshit on why I had him muted (I said the exact same points as in this post). He then starts saying he starts arguments very civilized. So I respond with "You never start them civiliezed you blow them out of proportion the instant you hear something you don't like! If you can't see how bad the wrongs you do compared to everyone else, you need to tone down your ego!" He promptly says afterwards that he's blocking me because I can't make logical arguements, and that I always act like a cunt for no reason other than to be a "stick up prick."
Honestly I don't know how I feel about this argument, his arguments had gaping holes in them, and honeslty, so did a couple of mine. However, I feel strongly that I'm not the asshole in this situation. This argument really ticked me off, because he wouldn't acknowledge anything I said with any real importance, and would focus on the small minor things instead.
Thanks -StormHasBadFriends.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
OyvZzhQ5zpS9ANSMXKRjItcr32WzmmPH
|
a2a2qx
|
{
"description": "telling my brother to fuck off for pretending to have a more serious mental illness than he actually does",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my brother to fuck off for pretending to have a more serious mental illness than he actually does?
|
My brother is 22, he’s currently couch hoping because he tried living with a girlfriend but it didn’t work out. He works at a fast food response with no ambitions to strive for more and he has no plans to stop being a leech off of those around him. He has “no money” but spends an awful lot on weed and other drugs and alcohol.
He stays on Facebook constantly posting how sad he is, and how depression is a thing. Which is fine, I’ve tried to be there to talk to and support and stuff, But recently he started posting about how bipolar he is. It really bothers me because I have my own struggles and I know others that have truly struggled and it feels like he’s making the whole thing a farce, another one of his ploys for attention. To top it all off he has not and is not seeing any professionals that would lead him to that conclusion. He’s literally the kind of person who goes to WebMD for symptoms and picks the one that can get the most attention and relieve him of any responsibility for what has happened in his life.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
VxP4jQTljWXJooGnOhex670rLtLzB71a
|
a0c1y5
|
{
"description": "being turned against online",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being turned against online?
|
once i had a group of friends that were honestly...very mean. they turned against me for the games and characters i liked, and proceeded to talk shit about me on social media and stalk me to talk down on me directly whenever i posted or drew something they found disgusting ( like vent art or characters they didnt like)
i figured these ppl were just idiots, they treat me like i am a murderer or posted child porn(i did not) when all i did was draw vent art and like characters/games that they didnt...
but then when i tried to befriend an old middle school friend, her and her other friend turned against me for saying that those past-friends of mine were bullies/trolls..
&#x200B;
i was sent a message from one of them saying i have no sympathy and that i dont deserve friends or fans(of my artwork) and that they would make sure that wouldnt happen.
&#x200B;
aita????????????? i dont know why a seperate group of people would randomly turn against me for the same reason the other group did, so am i the asshole or are they?
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
RN5tA9bf2od1FCwUeh13xdPBB8orJ18c
|
apan47
|
{
"description": "wanting to split the bill for a AYCE sushi date",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to split the bill for a AYCE sushi date.
|
I'm going out to eat all you can eat sushi lunch meet up with an acquaintance of mine tomorrow. I view this as a date, but I am unsure if the other party does.
That being said, I don't like paying for the other party unless the feeling is mutual. What's your verdict boys?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lpTSqZY72FxRGTiRMbjEbKjdsYnr93PO
|
b8i0e5
|
{
"description": "wanting my money back when my friends used my/our money from our joint vacation account to gamble",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting my money back when my friends used my/our money from our joint vacation account to gamble?
|
I'll start this by saying that they won, they put everything on one row, so they tripled the money, basically. This was when they were out drinking one time without me.
Me and four of my friends planned a two week vacation to the Bahamas three months ago. It was $2100/person, all-inclusive including plane tickets. The hotel wanted $700 in a deposit. I couldn't pay the whole sum three months ago, so I told my friends I could pay them back in the beginning of April. They agreed.
They went out drinking and gambled with the money. They didn't tell me beforehand or for 2 months because they wanted to surprise me about the fact that I didn't have to pay them back. They've also upgraded us to more luxurious suites and extended our stay by one week.
At this point I'm furious.
Firstly they gambled with my money without my knowledge.
Secondly they used that money to upgrade the suites without my knowledge.
Thirdly they extended the stay to three weeks instead of two. I took two weeks off work and I'm not sure if I can get another week.
Now I'm thinking I'm not going on this trip because of this shit. So I told them I want my deposit back and I want my share of the winnings. They told me fine, you can get your deposit back but not your winnings because we'll need those because we upgraded the suites and you still owe us money from the original deposit.
I tried to explain to them that I'm not going on the trip with them. So then I said ok, I'm paying the deposit for the original reservation of $700 and I want the winnings from the money you gambled with. They said no that's not happening since I didn't partake in the gambling so I wasn't there to deserve the winnings. What the fuck.
AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
WBFKMfTpneLNWpCMWMKLF7tw1YR5phRA
|
as4f9m
|
{
"description": "wanting distance from my friend of 5 years",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting distance from my friend of 5 years?
|
My friend (22F) and I (23M) have been friends for 5 years, and working at the same company for the last 2. The past 3 years have been somewhat rocky, with constant arguments over petty things (usually issues she has with my character, such as not sharing enough about my life with her, not spending enough time outside of work with her, etc). At some point I suspect she had romantic feelings for me (and others have observed likewise), however I swing the other way so nothing will happen there.
We have a mutual friend who is closer to me than friend, as she is in my team and therefore a direct colleague. I tend to talk about the arguments we have with her, and share the annoyances I have, and she offers me some valuable insight and often helps me resolve the arguments.
My friend found out that I talk about these arguments with mutual friend, and started another argument with me yesterday. As with all past arguments, she came across rather aggressive, yelling, pointing fingers, crying, making assumptions, and not letting me talk/choosing not to listen to what I had to say when I did talk. All of this was in the middle of my floor at work, where people I work with were able to witness it.
As the argument started to ramp up, I made the decision to remove myself from the situation to try to deescalate it (since other methods I tried didn’t work). She physically blocked me whenever I tried to walk away, and in the end I let her speak her mind for a whole hour before returning to my desk.
At my desk she started messaging me things about how nasty I am to talk about her behind her back, how it is all my fault, how she can’t trust me, how she’s going through so much at the moment and she just needs a friend who she can trust 100%. I told her that if that’s how she feels, then perhaps we need to create some space between us for a while. Despite this, she continued to message me, call me, she came to my desk, and even followed me out of the building despite me saying that I needed to leave so I don’t miss my bus. At one point she called 5 times in a row until I answered.
AITA for speaking about our arguments with another friend? AITA/a coward for walking away from the situation? AITA for wanting space? Will I be the asshole if I decide I don’t want this friendship to continue in the future as it was in the past (i.e. suggesting we see each other less, maybe once a week for lunch instead of every day)?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GIM6D9dTmalLzfhXBtmU4gqqJXTPhRj7
|
ae17r2
|
{
"description": "not helping an old lady on the subway",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not helping an old lady on the subway?
|
OK there is more to this than just that. Basically I got on the subway at one stop intending to get off at the next stop. While I'm waiting for my stop to arrive I see this old lady sitting almost in front of me (but like 10 feet away) calling people for help. At first many were ignoring her but when she started pointing at specific people they did come to help. She didn't call me (even though I was right in front of her) but she called three other people. They came over and helped her stand up and confirmed they would help her get out of the station and to where the buses were. At this point they formed a little group near the door where I needed to exit from and I stood really close to them (I was thinking of helping) but I didn't say anything. Once the doors opened and they started leaving it didn't seem to me like they needed extra help or extra people so I just walked by them and left without saying anything.
Anyways I did that because my social anxiety kicked in and I didn't know what to say considering I didn't say anything before but now I feel like an asshole for not helping. I don't really think two out of the three people meant to get off at that station which adds to it. I probably should've spoken up and helped but anyways I didn't and now its slightly haunting (also I'm paranoid that a gif of the security cam footage will end up on reddit but thats anther thing...).
tl;dr: Old lady needed help but didn't specifically ask me for help so I pretended I would help but then didn't
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
fsbZffGDcHOYDcHq8CuV2NBZQ5r5Wl8w
|
a12n18
|
{
"description": "wanting to spend time with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For Wanting to Spend Time With My Girlfriend?
|
This happened last week and has caused some bumps with me and my girlfriends relationship.
My girlfriend (F16) lives in my home state, however, I (M16) live all the way across the country because I am going to school. I came back home this past week for the first time in two months and I was finally able to spend time with my girlfriend in person. During this week I saw her many times. However, when it came to when I had to leave on Monday, the only time I could see her before I left was on Saturday. Other than spending that last night with me, she decided to spend it going to a party. She invited me to come, however, I decided not go because parties are not my thing at all. I did tell her that I would like to spend it with her because this will be the last time I will see her in around a month, but she declined because she said she's had this party planned for weeks (I did not know she had this planned, she only let me know the night before). After she went to the party, I told her that I was really upset because I really wanted to spend that night with her. Her, on the other hand, was upset with me because she feels like she shouldn't have to devote her whole week to me. I get that she has her plans, but the time, the time that I have to spend with her is very limited because I live so far away.
So am I the asshole for wanting to spend time with her before I leave despite her plans?
TLDR: Girlfriend is upset that I wanted to spend time with her before I leave for a month, despite her plans made weeks beforehand that she only told me a day before.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
GkjGOHTEobKrE6ihw809VSn8APY8ZEGm
|
a5al67
|
{
"description": "ransoming a girl's teddy bear",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for ransoming a girl's teddy bear?
|
There was this girl who kinda was friends with my roommate and I in uni. While I was away (according to my roommate) she knocked and he opened the door and she walked in without an invitation. I happened to accidentally leave my wallet on my desk. She reportedly rifled through it, took money, and left. Indeed, there was no money in my wallet when I returned. I walked to her dorm on the next floor, gained access via her roommate, and took some random stuffed animal. I left a vague note that didn't mention my identity but essentially just said, "ROOMMATE told me you took my money. you know who i am and will receive your animal back when you return my money" In-person she blamed the theft on my roommate. He'd been trustworthy the entire time we lived together, and so i believed his story. she never returned the money, rumor has it she just used it to buy another stuffed animal because she needs one to sleep at night due to some mental condition i was not aware of at the time
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
9tcTNxAsUOmi6bzTrM3689PDAzZJoZBh
|
azpb82
|
{
"description": "telling off my siblings for not making their beds",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For telling off my siblings for not making their beds?
|
I live up at a ski resort and have been working here this ski season. Around christmas, my family came to visit like normal. I should add some backstory: the place I’m staying is my grandparents cabin as they’re not using it and they graciously let me stay here. My family and I have come every christmas for a ski vacation which i’ve always cherished. There are two floors and as I’m living here alone, I occupy the downstairs and don’t usually go upstairs. Anyways, when my family came this Christmas it was business as usual, plenty of fun, good family times had by all. Now, the rule at my grandparents place is if you stay, you have to clean the cabin to the degree you found it or better. Which is fine. But I went upstairs this weekend and found my siblings had cleaned the sheets for the beds they slept in, but hadn’t remade the beds and left it for me to do, along with not cleaning the bathroom. I don’t get grossed out easily but there were nasty old tissues and it was just kinda rude. I don’t typically have a ton of time as i’m usually working, so finding out that this had just been sitting there unkempt set me off a little. Naturally I got kinda frustrated because this is basic cleaning up after yourselves, and my siblings are old enough (16, and 12) that they are more than capable of making a bed and being responsible for their area of influence. I called them and told them off for being irresponsible and leaving it for me to do which wasn’t cool, and that I expected them to not do it in the future cause it’s just a dick move. But I felt badly afterwards cause I can have a temper and my little sister (the 12 year old) looked pretty upset that I told her off and I hate upsetting her. So the question is; AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
0SLgIpzzj6o6VLutmeGFgexzR4AUPEjm
|
a1yeon
|
{
"description": "having someone over after breakup",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA having someone over after breakup
|
I didn’t read the sidebar and I accidentally posted twice :( sorry :( It’s a very long story but pretty much my girlfriend and I moved in together 4 months ago. The decision was either: move in with me or break up because of long distance(both graduated college, live in hcol city and she couldn’t afford to live her on her own). She moved in, we started fighting more and more frequently, and we broke up. I started it but it became decently mutual once we talked through. She needed someone who was less selfish(I thought I was trying to be accommodating but it was never enough). She fortunately got a high paying job, and can afford to live in the area without me. Anyway, she has some of her stuff at my place but she lives somewhere else while she looks for a lease. This arrangement has worked well for the last three weeks. Today she asked me if she could come over and grab some clothes before she goes out. I said sure but it’ll have to be before 9. She asked why and I said it’s because I was having friends over. She thought I was lying and immediately asked me if I’m sleeping with someone. I tell her no but she doesn’t believe me.
The truth is, I am having someone over who knows about my situation and is okay with it. I know why she wanted to know if I was sleeping with someone else, but I feel like it doesn’t matter because we are broken up. Also because she probably has slept with someone else and idc. I also feel like a storage unit, and I am allowed to say, can you please come pick up your stuff at a different time before nine.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
QnfV1XWeZQmA3f9oQPfb2Fl0cufg36eF
|
b426pu
|
{
"description": "asking my girlfriend to throw away $399 roses that was delivered to her apartment anonymously",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For asking my girlfriend to throw away $399 roses that was delivered to her apartment anonymously?
|
On Valentine’s Day my(26M) GF(26F) received very expensive roses from somebody random. Valentines this year landed on a weekday, and me and my girlfriend are doing a somewhat long distance relationship. I had tried to secretly plan on bringing my own bouquet of roses when I went to visit her that weekend but some person had beat me to giving her flowers. After I begrudgingly gave her my $15 flowers, we went on our previously planned trip to Europe. During the whole trip I could not get off my mind that she had flowers delivered to her apartment by a stranger and she was not conflicted with it, even though she is very cautious about being a young women in a world where suspicious men can kidnap her on late nights where she’s walking to her car.
While this was going on in my head, I had asked her to call the flower delivery company to ask for information about who sent it because I wanted to rule out that she wasn’t cheating on me. (FWIW, I plan on marrying this woman and we have been together for 5 years.) She called the company and they obviously follow a privacy policy that doesn’t permit giving away their customer’s information.
This has put me in a weird funk, and I asked her to throw away the flowers because I felt disheartened that I wasn’t the one to give her the flowers she wanted, nor could I even afford that type of gift right now. She refused because they were very expensive and she didn’t want to basically throw away $400. She kept the flowers I bought her in her living room until they died, and these flowers have been on her desk for the past month lol.
I feel like I’m the butthole here but it still eats me inside knowing that she kept them
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
ksI0GLN1ZD9qpiE5qnT3AJhWm2CJEDDp
|
axc4c5
|
{
"description": "resenting my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for resenting my boyfriend?
|
I'm almost certain he'll find this as our situation is too unique. If he does - I love you, I'm sorry, I needed outsider opinion.
I am a woman, working in a trade for my parents, currently unpaid (for 6 months now) and I work 6-7 days a week depending. Recently I've been getting home more on time, but historically I start early and finish late. I know my parents ATA, but they ain't why we're here.
My boyfriend is a paid academic. He can work when he chooses.
In the mornings, I love time to myself. Since my boyfriend moved in, that's nonexistent. I like gettinh up early and being ready for the day, but nope my boyfriend wants to talk to me and tell me he loves me. I have expressed that I don't want to socialise in the morning many times. I just wanna get up early and enjoy my solitude.
He has an alarm set for 7 every day, purely because he enjoys that he can turn it off and sleep as long as he wants. This feels like taunting to me, while I'm rushing to get out the door.
He gets up at 4am on Sunday, my only day of not having to get up, to watch eSports. Now I love watching pro league, but hate being woken up at 3-4 on a Sunday.
He also says he only does chores at night, but I often feel even in his lax situation he only does housework if I ask. He will sometimes have the dishes done as a surprise, but washing sits there for days not put away. I cannot relax in an untidy house.
I understand I'm not my boyfriend's responsibility, but I'm currently working more than full-time hours, battling a tumour (non-cancerous but makes me very tired ) and studying in my spare time. If the situation were reversed I'd want to try and do extra around the house to help my partner.
TL:dr - my situation is a but shitty right now and I feel taunted by my boyfriend in a much better situation. He isn't the asshole because he's very lucky, but am I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4Sb8c7Fs3i9xth15fxcduTf7GCmJ7Wnz
|
a9vkk6
|
{
"description": "skipping an expensive play with my girlfriend's mom",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for skipping an expensive play with my girlfriend’s mom?
|
So as a brief intro, my girlfriend and I have been together for 5 months and have gotten very serious very quickly and now live together. Her parents are divorced and I love her dad and his family and we see them often. I have never met her mom, and for a “Christmas present”, without asking if we had plans or if what she planned was okay, she bought tickets for her boyfriend, herself, my girlfriend and I for an expensive play at a local event center this weekend and gave them to my gf. It’s important to note that her mom’s bf is both of their bosses (small family business) so it’s impossible to keep personal things out of the workplace for her mom (a drama queen).
GF’s mom is a very dramatic person who already thinks I’m a bad influence and mistreats GF and gaslights her for every day things in order to gain sympathy and manipulate others to control every situation.
I personally am not ready to meet the mother as I have anxiety and not being able to have a choice in the activity or place and time already make these worse as well as just not wanting to meet her yet.
Girlfriend doesn’t want to go to this show either, and is afraid to stand up to her mother for fear of repercussion at work because her mom won’t keep it professional. Her mom throws tantrums when things don’t go her way and although we appreciate the gift and her trying to welcome me into her life I don’t want her to think that she can just plan things for us in the future (she gave us less than a week notice and didn’t ask, just said this is what we are doing) as we are very busy people and don’t want to bow to her every will. I worry that she will hold this over our heads for the foreseeable future if we don’t attend but also think that she needs to be taught a lesson of being polite and asking if we are interested in an event. The mom doesn’t treat girlfriend as an adult yet even though we are in our early twenties and doesn’t respect her wishes about anything in life.
Am I the asshole for wanting to tell gf to cancel on her mom to mostly prove a point that she needs to show respect and ask before she does things?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
wbAAhqoKvZmBBKRGkOQymJc2gFyjrUJq
|
amyd4x
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my girlfriend?
|
On mobile so sorry for formatting and whatnot.
So to preface, I'm in highschool and so is my gf. Recently my car's broken down. I'm rather lucky in the regard that my mom both bought me a car and pays for insurance, gas, repairs, and the like. I'm trying to enjoy getting taken care of while I can cause I know life's gonna get a whole lot tougher on my own. Anyway with all that the only downside is when it's broken down it's not my mom's number 1 priority but it's getting taken care of soon. But that means I walk to school with my little bro. So no picking her up and no dates until it's fixed.
She's been bugging me about it and valentine's day and our anniversary (1 year, cheesy, uneccessary but a nice sentiment if we make it). So she's been lonely. I've been getting rides to school and getting rides to hang out with friends. I hang out with her at school when I can but ever since the car broke down it's nice to get some alone time.
Anyway here's where a problem starts. My gf is on her period so she's a bit more emotional. She's in pain and I have no idea what to do. From now and then I give her back rubs at my place. She loves it when I do it and I try to do it when I can (to be frank, not the most comfortable thing to do, fucks with my thumbs) but it makes her happy so I try.
Cue today when I hang out with her and some other friends. We hang out with one guy who's pretty nice. He has a plutonic relationship with my gf (which I was uncomfortable with at first since I have some trust issues from previous relationships but he's an alright guy) when all of a sudden he says
"You really need some lessons on back rubs dude, I could teach you"
This immediatley sets off some red flags in my head. This may have been an off handed thing, he is kind of a helpful guy but I was uncomfortable to say the least.
I didn't make a scene in front of everyone, so later that night I text my gf saying
Me: Why do I need lessons on back rubs?
Gf: When did I say that?
Me: Well apparently I need lessons.
Gf: It helps with my cramps! It's different. I love your back rubs.
Me: Alrighty 😑
She called me afterwards to see if I was okay, I say I needed some time to think because, well, I needed some time to think.
Gf: I was uncomfortable btw, I thought it'd be better than you, if that helps.
Me: Then why the hell did you accept it!? I mean if you've been getting intemant backrubs from (Guy) then what else has been going on?
Gf: Oh my god! Do you hear yourself?! Who the fuck do you think I am?! I didn't accept it!
Me: Then what the hell happened!?
Gf: He rubbed my back. I didn't like it. I verbally said I didn't like it in front of the squad. YOU ACCUSED ME OF CHEATING!!! Good night. I'm not fucking doing this because if anything I've said up until this point means anything you'd trust me but apparently that trust is gone
And now you're caught up to where I am. So now I ask you. With everything laid out and all. Am I the asshole reddit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
cUn02gF4dc9sJF46GOnb5LQRSKYl89WK
|
ayegs1
|
{
"description": "doing the work",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for doing the work?
|
(Excuse the formatting, I'm on mobile)
So I was doing a project with a person, I don't normally do very well with this. I'm an independent person, I want to get my stuff done and be done with it. I finished my part of the presentation and had some time to spare. She said she had all her information written down on a different document so I left her to do her part. Today I saw that she still hadn't finished maybe 1 slide. I decided to leave that part to her but work on some of the other slides to occupy myself and get it done. She came up to me just sounding pissed and saying that some of the stuff I included was too much and she repeated again that she had stuff written down on a different document (this presentation is almost due. We'll be lucky if we have another day to work on it.) So I looked at her and said "Well if you want to, delete the stuff I put there and put your own stuff there then" and emphasized that she needed to get her stuff put on there and she walked off, pissed. Like I said, it's due soon, I wanted to get it done with. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
0oOx21jvGZ8WlZYb8bKJXCsbuVg6oNVK
|
ala1w1
| null |
WIBTA - Neighbor’s young child very loud
|
WIBTA - I moved into a new apartment a few months ago and the upstairs neighbors, whom I have never seen or spoken to, have what sounds like a toddler (I hear nursery songs and crying sounds from the apartment, so the age is a very rough estimate). Sidebar: I’ve actually taken to calling the child Thor God of Thunder because I can hear the kid’s thundering footsteps at all times of the day and night and I don’t actually know the kid’s name.
Thus far, I’ve let it go without saying anything to the neighbors or to the building management (who can handle noise complaints like this). I figured the kid is a toddler and you can’t expect them to be quiet right? Well, it’s getting distressing. It’s 2AM right now and the cat and I were just woken up for the fifth time this week to very loud kid footsteps, sounds associated with falling down, and the kid scream crying. I also work from home where I have to work with video and audio files, so the noise is not conducive to my work. The loud noises seem to be particularly distressing to my timid rescue cat - who went from purring in my lap to hiding under the bed at this latest incident.
WIBTA for calling the building management for a noise complaint on a toddler without speaking to the adults/parents first?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
qbjOoYgivFvgFBfQOOjvBRFRbv3tlivY
|
alyrcl
|
{
"description": "thinking my friend is a bit annoying for exaggerating everything",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for thinking my friend is a bit annoying for exaggerating everything?
|
Hello r/AITA, this is a throwaway since I do not want to be identified.
Today, I got annoyed like again because my friend said that his family was so poor that he ate only Tuna as meat for 6 years straight. This was such a clear exaggeration. I responded "I have some doubts about that" and he doubled down on his response. Not only this, he would say that he has a depression whenever he is just slightly sad (he is perfectly social and happy for like 80% of the time). He also always implies that he is 'so poor' when he is clearly much better off than many others in the friend group. I often get annoyed and try to tell him that he should not exaggerate things as such but when he replies that he is not, I am not sure how to respond further. Now, I disregard many things he says, although he does claim what he says is true. Am I the Asshole for this behavior?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
kbtq82rnFaHvThJGZAQBtcJaABZtqb8E
|
b0lzoe
|
{
"description": "spending time with both parents",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for spending time with both parents?
|
hey Reddit this is my first post here so please have mercy and sorry for my english it is not my first language :) .
&#x200B;
i recently got back in touch with my father, my mother had to raise me alone after a dirty divorce 13 years ago. now i'm in my mid-20s and want to work up a lot of family crap. i get along very well with my father and talk a lot with him, my mother doesn't like it at all and always tries to talk badly about it to me. she's only interested in whether he gives me money or whether he apologized for what a father he was. i don't care about all of that, but since i do a lot with my father she treats me like dirt, accuses me of things and doesn't help me out anymore because "my father can do that". i live with my fiancée and we are both dependent on my mother's help, now she pretends it won't ruin me. so reddit am i the asshole, or is my mom abusive?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
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