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ama6c9
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{
"description": "making noise to get back at loud neighbors in university dorm",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for making noise to get back at loud neighbors in university dorm?
|
I live in a university dorm and have people who live below me who routinely are loud, even til 3am. I let them be until it affects my sleep (like 2am), but even when I bang on the floor to quiet them down, they yell back and bang on the ceiling.
I also use a jump rope in my room and I have heard the people below hate it when I jump rope as they hear it.
I decided that until they stop having these routine parties that last way too long, and disregard my banging on the floor to tell them they're too loud, I will jump rope whenever I please.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
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|
b745hh
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{
"description": "not sharing an ice lolly with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not sharing an ice lolly with my boyfriend
|
I've been very stressed with school, and after having a breakdown (which to be fair he did help calm me down from), I go to my freezer, and take out the last ice lolly because dammit, I'm sad and tired and dehydrated and I want chocolate. (worth noting, we don't live together, the ice cream is very much mine)
Bf asks if he can have one, I say no that was the last one, he wants to share it, I do not because I am weird about eating foods other people have touched, some sort of anxiety thing idk. Anyway, he says I'm being selfish and mean and greedy, and he tries to take it off me. I push him off me, and he tells me off for hitting him and being horrible. I'm crying again now.
In the end, I feel awful and give it to him. After the fact I tired to discuss that his actions upset me and I don't think it's normal adult behaviour to be so petulant, but he asks me to stop because I'm upsetting him and it's not fair that I'm "making out he's abusive" and making him the villain.
So, objective observers, am I the villain? should I have just shared the ice lolly in the beginning? more low stakes than some of the stuff on here I guess lol
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
C5U1HbvALZhDlLMouypjmrsUr37JCBoP
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b6up8m
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{
"description": "dumping my gf after feeling abandoned",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA - Dumping my GF after feeling abandoned
|
Story goes like this: We had been dating for about half a year (Give or take) and my gf at the time was doing theater in Bern. I'm not a big fan of it myself, but I did like her singing, so I would make time to go see her whenever she had practice or a show.
​
It was December, and I had caught a pretty bad cough combined with mild pneumonia. Stayed at home for a good while, and ended up missing a lot of the performances she does around Christmas. Eventually, as I got better, she started to approach the subject of coming to a specific play of hers they had been preparing for a while. I was against it initially, since my cough had adamantly refused to go away, and my throat still hurt. Eventually I caved to the puppy-eyes routine. And on the day in question, dressed up like a conservative Eskimo and had a friend drive me to the station. Weather outside was awful, and as luck would have it the train stopped halfway due to "technical difficulties". I was going to be late. I called my gf to inform her of this, and she was livid. I had missed performances before, a lot of the time due to work or other shenanigans, and she would often accuse me of making up excuses to avoid having to go.
​
I was very firmly in the "I'm doing this for you even though I'm sick, so stop giving me shit."-Camp. She's having none of it. Eventually it turns into an argument and she hangs up in a huff. When I actually got there (Think it was about halfway into the play) the guy at the front is not letting me in. Invitation had been revoked.
​
When the play finally ended, and I got a hold of her, we were now both mad. I was feeling much worse again and really wanted to go home and she was still upset that I had missed all of the play. Eventually, she makes a big thing of leaving with an actor friend of hers, and leaves me standing there. And I don't have money for a ticket back. Cue an hour of texting, ducking into stores to not stand outside, and eventually getting hold of a friend, who despite the apocalyptic weather, came and picked me up.
​
GF is not responding to texts. At that point, I actually got worried. Since the weather was so bad, maybe they had an accident? Nope. Around 90 minutes or so after the whole thing I get a pretty picture from a party they're having. Complete with guilt-trip inducing "You could've been here you know." / "I Hope you rethink our relationship". That was the tipping point. I did rethink our relationship. When I got home with buddy, we rounded up all of her stuff and I told her she could pick it up later or the day after, and then get of my life. I made a point of ignoring all of her attempts at getting in touch afterwards, which I'll freely admit, meant I was burning all of the bridges out of spite. But I still absolutely believe this is her being the Ass, and I was justified. Am I wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b4ifch
|
{
"description": "dobbing my Ex in for defrauding welfare benefits",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
WIBTA if I dobbed my Ex in for defrauding welfare benefits?
|
So my Ex and I broke up a while ago due to her cheating on me throughout the entire relationship. I devoted a huge portion of my life and money to her. We were even engaged to be married. It was a messy breakup. I ended up banging her sister after we broke up, who recently spilled the beans and resulted in a big drama for their family.
While we were in a relationship, my Ex was claiming single welfare payments. I had a decent income at the time so she definitely wasn't eligible.
WIBTA if I dobbed her into the welfare department (Centrelink)? They take fraud very seriously. It would result in them pursuing her for the money she claimed and would likely cause huge financial hardship for her.
???
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
AwIvgeatu6Z14pX1vaBWLQh9MvWaXFFU
|
aebhb6
|
{
"description": "not allowing my friend's so to come on our trip",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not allowing my friend’s SO to come on our trip?
|
My two longterm best friends (lets call them B and C) and I have been talking about doing a trip to Peru together as a last hoorah since B and I will be moving away in a couple months to start new jobs. We haven’t really done much actual planning yet but we know we’re gonna go.
C recently got into a new relationship a few months ago and has been in a serious honeymoon phase. Honestly, I didn’t really like C’s new SO because their relationship started off with her doing some sketchy things that hurt C, and also because the SO has never really tried to become friends with me. But I tried to respect them and give them space to develop their relationship even if I kind of disapproved (C is a great person, and honestly... I thought he could do better).
So anyways we’re finally planning our trip when C mentions that the SO has always wanted to hike Machu Picchu. C then says that they feel bad that they’re leaving their new SO for several weeks for the trip, and that they want to bring them. My immediate reaction is to say no, because this was supposed to be a friends goodbye trip. C then disagrees and says they just thought it was just any other trip together, and he should be allowed to bring his SO because we hadn’t planned anything official yet. I was hurt by this but also upset because I didn’t like his SO and when they’re together they disappear into a bubble and ignore everyone around them. And I didn’t want that to happen on our last trip together before B and I moved away. Worst of all, C’s SO hadn’t even asked to come on the trip and didn’t have any idea that C and I were fighting about this.
Both B and I are in longterm relationships, and we never planned on asking our SO’s to come because we both thought it was a friends trip. But C really feels they have every right to bring their SO. But I’m putting my foot down and saying no. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
gAKvSq2A5i5qW8r3QZXZyK6SxniTuvqt
|
ahehoh
|
{
"description": "considering ghosting my \"friend\"",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for considering ghosting my “friend”?
|
So, buckle up for a long story.
I met my boyfriend 2 years ago, and honestly? We’ve had ups and downs. He was in a rough school, and being that he is pretty socially awkward, he ended up making the situation doubly difficult. I was pushing overtime in a job I hated as to support our relationship and my hobbies while he managed part-time during school. Well, he had a spat with our mutual friend over something trivial and they fell out of “best friend” status; but, not long before, said friend and I had loosely become acquainted. We’ll call him.....Charles.
Charles and I shared a few similar interests like: cosplay, manga, anime, and big-tiddy anime women. He also made a point most often that he was NOT looking to seek a girl out after his last abusive relationship and WOULDN’T be because he’s looking to improve himself. Cool by me, I thought, because I’m happily with my boyfriend still and didn’t ever even consider him anything more than a friend. We talked a lot, exchanged numbers so we could carpool, and even hung out many occasions as a trio. My boyfriend, Charles, and I, that is. We’d all grab breakfast, Charles would tell me about day-to-day stresses and we’d have a laugh.
Flash forward, my boyfriend graduates school and I get sick. Very sick. It turns out it’s nothing more than an unchecked gluten/dairy intolerance mixed with a bad combo of Too-Much-Stress-And-Not-Enough-Eating-itis. I’m on short term leave, and since my boyfriend moves to full-time work, Charles and I chill out more one on one.
Keep in mind, things are still very platonic and trivial. Dude talks to me namely about OCs, his stories, his campaigns for us/his other DND groups, etc. It’s fun up until the point where he starts divulging personal information to me. I don’t care about discussing fetishes or one coping with them (I used to write/draw graphic furry porn for friends to help fund food money for cons. I don’t judge) and I made it a point to explain why I don’t mind someone explaining their kinks to me. Though, due to previous Nice Guy experiences, I did add that his kinks “were seriously not my thing” and ensured him not to worry so much what I thought because “Dude, you’re not my type. It doesn’t even matter how I feel about them.”
He gets shifty and quiet and we drop the topic, with the exception of occasionally bringing it up in teasing jabs or jokes.
Well, another month passes. I officially leave my job, Charles goes through more Drama(tm), and I enroll in an accelerated Technician program with part-time work and part-time volunteering. My boyfriend and I move in together. I get a Wolfe Spider as a pet. My current fur-trio doesn’t care in the slightest. Life gets busy, and frankly? Between the two boys, I don’t have many friends. I’m just too over-worked. I spend 90% of my time with my partner, then 10% of the time occasionally messaging Charles.
Bad luck strikes again, my first car, which was pre-owned and mine for three years, ends up catching on fire. This one wasn’t my mistake, but our tower’s folly. Okay. Fine. Awful timing, I’ll go pick up another used car to last me a few years and then I’ll chug along. Well. The second car overheats and melted the motor partially; the overall cost to replace the motor is double the amount I’d purchased it for, so it’s a no-go there. Foolish me, I’d done a quick test drive on it, checked under the hood, and didn’t see any immediate red flags. Also, it was a dream model of car, and although older, looked to be in great condition so I think my bias got the best of me.
Found out a fan was out of place, hence why it overheated. And, I had no warranty or insurance on it, so that money was lost. I’m out 2 cars, make significantly less money due to shortened hours/less wages, and to top it all off, I ended up fracturing my coccyx two days after I received the news over the phone.
But, after I got the first wave of “your cars are fucked, I’m sorry, ma’am” from the mechanics, I thought “Screw it, I’ll take a breather and grab breakfast with my only irl friend”. He’s worried, as I’m plainly distressed in text, and we meet up for breakfast a few hours later.
It gets weird.
Dude immediately goes off, talking in an almost dismissive manner to me and referring to me as “Mrs. [Boyfriend’s Last Name]”. It’s weird. I tell him to stop because it’s aggravating, we’re not married, and we’re not considering the option for a good while. Not till things settle down. He starts telling me about his OCs again, like old times, and the breakfast almost seems to be hitting a normal tune when he dead-ass stops and stares me down. He then mentions that he’s started this new work-out regime with added supplements that seem to really “pump him up”.
To which then, he adds,”They make me want to fuck you right now.”
As you can imagine, conversation thins out. We leave shortly thereafter. He insists on a “hug”, and I give a half-assed side one out of courtesy when I really should have declined. I’m super uncomfortable now, especially considering he’d mentioned once before about having a “rape dream”. It made sense at the time because his then girlfriend had a rape/non-con roleplay fetish, and it worked for them. Not me. Not my style.
Of course, two days later, I seemed to have fractured my coccyx by falling flat on my ass from a very loving, too large puppy jumping on me.
He sends me some more OC shit that I’d mentioned sounded cool. I’m sore, I don’t reply. Next day, I’m working on getting my cars towed and scrapped. It’s hectic. I’m scrambling to find titles, pay the mechanic, organize school stuff, and figure out work plans since I work in a physical field and being physically injured kind of puts a damper on that.
He sends me another thing. I reply with “hey I’m busy breaking bones I’ll respond later” because I overdid it walking back and forth, assisting/talking with the tow man, and I’m stressed beyond reason. (Admittedly, I should have just left it on a “Sorry, just busy” note”) Not to mention, what had only been an ache before has since become a splitting pain along my back and in my leg. He presses on and on, trying to get me to discuss more of the situation, before finally resorting to asking my boyfriend.
Once he gets the news, he then proceeds to call me “overdramatic” and claim “It’s my loss” for not wanting to talk more about his OCs.
I’m pissed and still at a loss from our previous “chat”, so Reddit.....what’s your thoughts? Am I the asshole for thinking it’s time to just drop this dude out of my life? Am I really just being overdramatic or is my being upset legitimate?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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asz1pm
| null |
AITA My brother, a drummer, keeps/wakes me up all the time so I decided to wake up him up early this morning.
|
Changing some details as he actively browses reddit. Also on mobile, sorry.
I’ll start off saying I think that 9 maybe 10pm is a reasonable time to stop playing a loud ass instrument, but silly brother here often plays to almost midnight as long as it’s “quietly”. When he plays “quietly”, it’s still loud enough to wake me up sometimes because my bed is next to a vent.
My parents are fine with him drumming that late because it’s “just for a bit”, “just tuning”, or “hasn’t played all day”(and by that I mean out with his friends or some shit because he doesn’t have a or job or go to school atm). Over the past 2 years since he’s graduated high school, I’ve become absolutely fed up. Last night around 1am, he came back from a concert and decided that now is a great time to play the air guitar with his mouth at the top of his lungs. I have to get up at 6:30 so waking to this moron babble on was the boulder that broke the camel’s back.
I start cursing him out and demand he at the very least says sorry. Our parents hear us fighting and tell me to stop saying, “Now he learned he shouldn’t do that”. Seeing how he’s learned nothing I wait for my parents to leave then decide to practice my trumpet I haven’t touched since grade school. When he confronts me I only use the excuses he uses, “Its only for a bit. I’ll stop after this song, I need to practice this part”. After he complains that he has a concert later I help him out by setting his alarm, his phone alarm, his tablet alarm, even my alarm all a slightly different times. He ended up oversleeping for the concert and and now might be able to get gigs there. He hasn’t played the drums since I’ve been home today.
Did I take it too far or did he deserve that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
06duuimwHFIhcfkk92WnqcRBdfS9ZOxW
|
afnwiy
|
{
"description": "calling my girlfriend a bitch",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA for Calling my Girlfriend a Bitch?
|
My girlfriend and I have a great relationship and have had no problem with swearing at each other in the past. We don't do it mean spiritedly, we do it lovingly.
If I have something to show he, I'll often say, "get over here bitch" or if we're watching a movie and she keeps talking I'll say "shut the fuck up I'm trying to pay attention".
She does the exact same things back to me and we've never had any issues insulting each other. When we met we were part of the same friend group, and the entire group did stuff like this. That's where it came from.
The other night she was introducing me to some new friends. We were at a restaurant and I wanted to try her food. She wouldn't let me, and I said, "don't be a bitch let me have some". She burst out crying and made a huge scene of it.
I was extremely confused because normally she'd say something along the lines of, "fuck off I'm hungry stop being an idiot."
She said it was because she was around new friends, but we never had issues swearing at each other in front of friends before.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
WRONG
|
bAxGiLEwXVju9088xTmAjjz6Y1gT2eZV
|
aqd9zr
|
{
"description": "not wishing happy birthday to my ex",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTAH for not wishing happy birthday to my ex?
|
I broke up with him last January (over a year ago!) and it was... messy in a weird way. We still had to live together until April when I could move out - he was surprised at my final goodbye, thinking that I'd be back after handing in my keys and taking all my stuff for some reason (him?).
We then had issues getting our deposit back, which resulted in communication again for \~3 weeks every few days, after not being in touch for a couple months (he also deleted me on steam etc). Deposit finally got sorted, so I thought that would be the end of it back in August.
Come Christmas, he wished me a good one. Same for new years, and then again for my birthday last month. My issue - I've said thanks to them, and I remember last year he was super offended when I didn't wish him happy birthday despite him being a dick and we'd just broken up.
​
Would I be an asshole to just not message him? I know he'll be offended and angry, but at the end of the day I don't want to communicate with him, but feel like an asshole because he's messaged me for every holiday, and he also doesn't have many friends to wish him one which makes me feel guilty about it.
Thanks!
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
YnNpGu6q7KrlCuS3xPaD4qXWSpMNJUtF
|
a1alru
|
{
"description": "cutting ties with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITAH for cutting ties with my friend?
|
I’ve (M18) known this girl (F21) for almost three years. The first year I had a crush on her but after some realization decided that she’s better to me as a friend. She’s a very flirtatious person, which isn’t necessarily bad in my opinion but she’d go pretty far with it even if she was in a relationship. She once said that she wishes she could keep all her guy friends on a leash.
Anyway, she’s a “Christian” and she’s very hypocritical like telling her ex boyfriend to be more Godly then followed by her cheating on him. I’m a Christian myself so I personally find this behavior insulting to her Faith.
But then she tries to get with me, while she’s still dating this guy. They break up, she then starts dating this guy not even a month after and is still continuing her overtly physical flirtatiousness with every guy she finds attractive, including me.
This had caused her so many problems throughout the years I’ve known her and I’ve stood by her side as a friend. I was her most consistent friend and people consider me her best friend.
Then the final straw: while we were hanging out I was showing our friend group music I was working on. One of the songs caught her interest and I confessed to her that the song was written about her when I had a crush on her. She gets a little teary eyed but we move on. Hours pass, we’re all having a good time, it’s getting late and I have to go home. She gives me one of the biggest hugs, but I felt something quite strange. She kissed me on the neck, with her current boyfriend in the same area. She did it in a way that might’ve been hard to spot from his position.
I had no idea how to react, I know it was a kiss but sometimes I can’t tell if it was her or my brain, almost as if my brain is gas lighting me.
At this point I decided to not talk to her anymore. She’s been trying to contact me through calls and texts for 4 months but not once have I responded.
Knowing her, she probably misses me, and is probably sad and confused (or atleast pretending to be confused, idk)
I don’t wish the worst for her, but I felt like I didn’t wanna be involved in her shenanigans again. At the rate we were going I felt like I’d either become like her or end up married to her at 30.
I felt like me giving her attention was enabling her toxic behaviors, so for her sake and mine I left.
So, AITA for cutting ties with her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
fEjFVokFzQlPfGl1v94FH3pORBjzNbZJ
|
aflo5p
|
{
"description": "considering forcing my housemate to move out",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for considering forcing my housemate to move out?
|
Okay so this is a bit of a long one, there will be a tl;dr though.
I am a 17 year old female living with my parents, but in October a good friend of mine, we’ll call her S, was kicked out by her mom while she was sleeping over at my house. Her family is more than a little dysfunctional, mostly they’re just over dramatic stoners who act like high schoolers.
S is 19, so she is decently independent at school and works for my mom now, at a nice jewelry store. Long story short, S moves in with me and we got her out of a bad situation as best as we could.
S has not been grateful whatsoever, constantly complains, misses curfew almost every single night, doesn’t clean up after herself, has been disrespectful of our house rules (which we made sure she knew before moving in), has raised her voice and yelled at me in front of my mom, is causing her boyfriend to skip school and spend all of his money buying her fast food, and is upset that she’s gone from a size 3 to a size 8 because she won’t eat anything at home.
I completely understand that she’s very stressed and I’ve always tried to be someone she could talk to, lean on, etc. But the constant stress from her actions has been emotionally draining for me and my family, and we think it’s time she leave and try to move in with her sister. Her sister said that she could move in with her but it would be inconvenient. It’s not like we would be putting S on the street, but she’s been so rude and treats every kindness like an expectation.
I feel horrible, she really was a good friend and we all just wanted her out of her old situation but we had no idea she would act like this, I’ve done everything I can think of to be a good friend, and help in any way I can. I know her life is hard.
What really became the head of the situation was yesterday she had made me late for school, again (S always wakes up late and refuses to leave without doing her makeup, she also doesn’t have a license or a car) and I complained about it to my boyfriend, who is best friends with her boyfriend. My boyfriend brought up that S was the reason we weren’t there yet again, and S’s boyfriend blew up in my boyfriends face, saying that we were both liars and that S had told him that I was always the late one and that I was an awful housemate.
S then turned up to first period, which we share, and just started berating me about how I’ve driven a wedge between our boyfriends and they shouldn’t have to deal with our problems, and then said that I talk about her all the time and told me a bunch of crazy lies that she’s “heard me saying”. She said I treat her like the plague and that I make everything about me, despite the fact that I actively avoid bringing up my ptsd to anyone other than a therapist. She got really upset when I tried to defend myself by saying I don’t talk about her to anyone other than her, and that one offhand comment about her making me late for school nearly every day for three months. So then, she started to cry and loudly say awful things about me in front of a class of people at 7 AM.
I was so angry and upset that my friend has acted this way that I just left and did all the work in another class period. My best friend told me that I’m not in the wrong because I’ve had several friends live with me, but none have treated me like this and My family has been extremely accommodating.
I know this is all stupid high school stuff and I don’t even like talking about it because it feels so juvenile but, I can’t help thinking that my family doesn’t deserve this. I have a huge tendency to blame myself for things like this. I understand it could be because of her family and her stress, but it was a really humiliating experience and she hasn’t even tried to apologize.
TL;DR: friend who comes from a bad home life moves in with us, breaks all of our rules, complains constantly, lies about me to other people, has convinced her boyfriend that my boyfriend and I lie about her, disrespects my parents, and attempts to humiliate me in front of 30 other peers. We feel awful because we did invite her here, but I think maybe she should move in with her sister and so do my parents.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
81vC039Z3zXDM6ljqNFg1eCDeIRQxbyQ
|
avdxgv
|
{
"description": "accidentally breaking an NDA",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for accidentally breaking an NDA?
|
So mobile app developer here. New to the industry. Did an unpaid internship for 7 months then a low paying position with another startup for 9 months.
I've been struggling with finding a a better overall position and I finally passed the interview process elsewhere. They wanted to see some samples of my recent code so I took some basic code I've written from my current position and privately displayed it to their lead. Once they sent me the job offer, I put in my 2 weeks.
I told my boss/ceo about the process and how I used some code snippets. He was cool with it at first but a week later, I guess he told the CTO and he flipped out.
My final day was Friday with the flexibility of working next week if I wanted extra $ but now they're cutting it down to Thursday. I'm told that I broke their NDA and if I asked permission it wouldn't have been an issue. They said the code that I shared was nothing critical but I still broke a legal contract. CEO said he could write a cease and desist letter but probably don't think they have to.
CEO went on to say that he feels like he has the moral obligation to notify my future employer about this situation but at this point he won't. He personally feels betrayed by my actions.
I apologized and mentioned that i may not fully understand their perspective. I didn't do anything maliciously but I messed up. I feel bad that he feels betrayed but I'm honestly feeling like he tried to make me feel as shitty as possible. Threatening future employment really hurt me.
Maybe there's a perspective I'm not understanding.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
fnz0fgZRHhTs2RoEf4n0JZmJBzwGHT1X
|
b1yux4
|
{
"description": "not wanting froyo",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not wanting froyo?
|
Yesterday, my SO asked me if I wanted to go get froyo. I knew we had a couple pints of ice cream in the freezer, and really was craving one, and mentioned that to see if that was preferable. She said no, she would rather go get froyo, which I was fine with so I agreed. About 5 min later, she asked if it would be ok to pick it up and bring it back to the apartment to eat, which of course it is. This is where the fight started.
​
Since we were going to be bringing it home, and since I still preferred the pint in the freezer, I said Id like to eat that while she eats the froyo. I figured it wouldn't matter since we both get what we want and we are still eating dessert together. But apparently not. This led to a meltdown and me being called "selfish" and that I should just get what she wants and that what I wanted was not the same. Further, this led to her saying in the heat of the moment that "things aren't working out." This morning things have cooled down but she still contends I committed some kind of terrible sin.
​
I'm still bewildered by this reasoning and why it mattered so wondering if others can give me some clarity. For context, the prior part of the day had been very stressful for the both of us, and I am suspecting that probably played a significant role in the reaction, although she denies that.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
n9kxeIsKTZmTasuvJiWcJGRI6xh73ZmO
|
afsx6p
|
{
"description": "regularly hanging out with a male friend without telling my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA for regularly hanging out with a male friend without telling my boyfriend
|
Hey, so for context I have been dating my boyfriend for ~2 years and we have a “closed” (monogamous) relationship. All the people involved in the post are college-aged but very childish (which will become clear after reading the post).
I’m actually very happy in the relationship and I think he is as well. He is definitely too good for me (haha) and I am very lucky to be his girlfriend.
My only legitimate complaint is with his opinion on physical affection. Apparently I’m being “such a tease” when I initiate physical affection but don’t want sex. It’s not like he tries to force me into it, but he is kind of pouty when I decline. I’ll just want some snuggles and maybe a kiss or two and then he’ll try to initiate sex. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but the best I have gotten is just tolerating him feeling me sexually and calling it “cuddling”.
I kinda gave up on non sexual physical affection with him, but it’s pretty important for me personally. *Cue my genius idea of getting non-sexual physical affection from friends.*
Obviously it’s inappropriate to do this with people in public, so 3 close friends and I have these movie/snuggle parties at one friend’s house.
It’s really cute and I love doing them, but I am starting to have second thoughts about if this is appropriate to do in a relationship. In addition to group things, I have cuddled with a male friend when it was just the two of us.
There was never anything that was non-platonic, but things got really physical when we had a ‘tickle fight.’ I want to reiterate that there wasn’t even a little sexual tension, I just feel like I may have let things go a little too far during the tickle fight. I feel extra guilty because I never told my boyfriend about these things because I thought that it would either only make him feel bad unnecessarily or he wouldn’t care.
Obviously I am planning on telling him what happened, but what kind of reaction should I expect? AMITA for doing these things? Would it be asshole-ish to ask if I can still have the snuggle parties but just be more clear on what is/is not acceptable to do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
WRONG
|
sVDulACtshfAgVbY633X3i7PA5hNqLEX
|
a2pcaj
|
{
"description": "hating my brothers girlfriend and wanting them to split up",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hating my brothers girlfriend and wanting them to split up
|
Let me just preface this by saying, it’d take me fearing for his safety to actually sabotage the relationship.
But my brother, I’ll call him B, and his girlfriend, I’ll call her G have been together for a year and a half now. He’s just turned 21 and she’s 20. They live on the other side of the country and when I met G, I noticed a few red flags. She used to get ‘hangry’ and rage at everything. After she ate, she would calm down. One time, she snooped through my mums belongings and stole a pair of earrings because ‘they were just so cute.’ While she was here, she refused to wear a bra/underwear and would only wear see-through clothes or a tshirt. She has breast implants and likes to show them off.
She has been in debt for a while, because she was in three seperate car accidents (she faked all her hours before getting her license.) instead of paying off that debt, she’s become addicted to online shopping, considering it a great deal to get free shipping, or 10% off an item.
A few months back she requested money off my parents because she became uncomfortable in the place they lived at. We later found out, it’s because she thought she was too cool for that suburb and wanted to live in a ‘trendy area.’
She has accidentally showed nudes around to my brothers friends. She flirts with his boss and other colleagues. She will not stop posting pictures of her in underwear on Instagram. Just this morning, she posted about buying a brand new iPhone! She’s in lots of debt to lots of different people... She doesn’t understand how to save money and had her credit cards frozen because she couldn’t make any afterpay repayments.
I know B would be much better off without her... she’s trouble all around and my mother believes we have to let him ‘make the mistakes and learn for himself.’ I think that’s bullshit, I think he needs to be rescued from that horrible situation before he becomes homeless.
So tldr, my brothers girlfriend is in major debt, doesn’t seem to act loyal, posts sexually suggestive pictures, gets aggressive when hungry and is dragging my brother down with her.
I desperately want them to break up so he can move on and start doin right by himself. Does it make me the asshole for hoping they split? Even if it would make my brother unhappy?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
M3SWvQ1U9MvPmvmuvFfv7Mj1J7D6oWEg
|
a0ivnf
|
{
"description": "yelling at my dad for bringing in more furniture",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for yelling at my dad for bringing in more furniture?
|
My dad has a history of collecting what I think is old junk. He frequently buys old, run down cars (we have 7 cars at home right now, not a single one was manufactured in the past 10 years, most of them are 1980-2000s cars, 3 of them don't run. We also have 2 cars in the back yard, and neither of them run.) and he frequently brings in old furniture/refuses to throw away old furniture. This wouldn't be too much of an issue for me normally, I don't mind people's hobbies and if he wants to collect stuff, sure, whatever. The problem comes up because our home is extremely small. We have a tiny backyard, we have little to no room in our actual home because it's so crowded, and our garage has been turned into my dad's office space. To make room for all the extra junk my parents have, we had to build two closed off decks that have file cabinets full of things like plates, cooking ware, bowls, cups, tools, etc. Him buying any extra cars or furniture takes up what little space we have left. My mom and I have expressed this to him many times, but each time he just dismisses us and ignores us. He sometimes even shushes us.
My dad also doesn't work close to home. He works in NorCal (we live in SoCal) and we either visit him or he comes back home around 2-3 times a month. He came back for Thanksgiving on Wednesday. Today, somehow, he picked up a wood and glass display cabinet from who knows where, and I lost it. I yelled at him.
"Why do you even need these things? What the fuck are we going to do with a glass display cabinet? What are we going to put in there? And just because something is free doesn't mean you should take it. What if we want to move some place else? Have you considered that your shit would make it harder to move? What about your cars? You spend thousands of dollars on these shitty beater cars that you might as well just buy a new car at that point! This is a problem you have and you need to stop, because I'm fucking sick and tired of you bringing in shit that you never use!" I also threatened to take an axe to whatever he brings in from off the street, and break the windows of any "new" cars he buys.
AITA for screaming at him like that? I dislike his hobby and I think it is in no way helpful to us, but I feel like I could have been nicer about it or handled it better.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
jo8MXpDJIMZKvQ0dbMmAqSFH1ERuyAp0
|
ajgqfr
|
{
"description": "taking some random girl's clothes out of the dryer",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 66
}
|
AITA for taking some random girl's clothes out of the dryer?
|
Made some girl really mad.
My college dorm has 6 washers and only 4 dryers. Doing my laundry yesterday, I noticed after taking my clothes out of the washer that all of the dryers were taken. And there were mounds of other people's wet clothes all around the room... because of people like this chick. Had one item in a dryer, set for 75 minutes. It was relatively dry, so I took it out and hung it up.
Came back 40 minutes later and she left me a note saying "HOT TIP DON'T TAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S CLOTHES OUT OF AN ON DRYER. LOVE, A PERSON WHO WAS DEWRINKLING A BLAZER FOR A JOB INTERVIEW."
Sure, if I had know that, I would have left it. But in the meantime that I intervened this hold-up of dryers, most of the surrounding piles if wet clothes disappeared. The jacket was already pretty dry and looked fine. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 66,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 66
}
|
WRONG
|
knf2evnGR4EeCGw2UhTWbiX7vjrJjZNw
|
at3ge7
|
{
"description": "asking my sister to cover her self harm scars",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 123
}
|
AITA for asking my sister to cover her self harm scars
|
Ok so I know how this sounds but I have to know because it’s really getting to me.
So my sister is four years older than me and right now she is living at home having just left University and is looking for a job. When my sister was seventeen she was bullied really badly and due to this she would self harm for a really long time. I don’t know how my parents didn’t notice it but when they did they took her to therapy and eventually it stopped. She’s come a really long way since then and I’m so proud of her but she still has scars on her arms that are clearly noticeable. I’ve never been depressed or self harmed so I’m not in the right position to tell her what to do and I can’t even begin to imagine her point of view.
However around the house she always leaves her arms bare and most of the time it’s fine but it really really upsets me sometimes to see them because it makes me so angry that someone could have bullied her to the point that she did that. I know I’m being selfish by saying that because it’s not about me but it’s beginning to affect our relationship as whenever I’m around her now I just feel so sad. I casually mentioned that I could see the scars the other day when we were alone and she got really upset and started crying. I instantly felt horrible and I wish I had never said anything. I don’t know how to fix this and I need to know if I’m being unreasonable.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 123,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 123
}
|
WRONG
|
xnux4VAE3t3idXxy7jZyDNZfWsfCgLtj
|
a2hcts
|
{
"description": "eating Breakfast",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for eating Breakfast?
|
This happened probably a week ago now, but I can't stop thinking about it.
My family goes and picks out a tree every year for our grandparents house. This year we got done pretty early so we decide to go eat dinner. We ended up going to McDonalds because no one proposed a better idea.
I ended up getting two breakfast burritos, and a hash brown, because that's probably the best thing they have there. We used the self ordering things, and my grandparents were watching us order, and telling people what we could, and couldn't get.
While we were eating my Uncle came over, and said something to his son, along the lines of, "Maybe you can teach your cousin what Going out to eat burgers means".
I have not been able to stop thinking about it. Am I the asshole for getting Breakfast at McDonald's?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ZMEsv9mD6EzQKo56WOF67YaKKKP4Eu5s
|
anrfbo
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay bills that I do not use since I've moved out",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay bills that I do not use since I've moved out?
|
Let me preface this a little.
I graduated college a semester early and moved back home while job shadowing and waiting to get into grad schools. Since I have no money, my parents are actually paying for what I used at college (ie- rent, utilities). I have lived with my roommates for a couple years. Every summer, we agreed that the roommate who lives there pays the utilities that are fluid, meaning they change with amount of usage. These utilities are- gas, water, electric.
So, since I have moved home, my roommates are still wanting me to pay 1/3 of the gas, water, and electric. I said no because my parents are already letting me live here rent free and paying for what I use here. I also do not contribute to the usage of said utilities, so the **prices went down**. They said that they were not "comfortable" paying 50/50 because it was not fully discussed, even though we have done this the past two summers. AITA here???? I have not used any water, gas, or electric, so I am actually confused as to why I should be paying? I told them I would pay the bills that didn't fluctuate, because I thought that was fair since we all signed off on Wifi/cable. I am trying to discuss this with them, but they just don't respond, except for saying they are not comfortable paying it.
Also, just to add, one roommate has a bf that essentially lives there without actually being on the lease. He does not go to school, and sits in the house most dat. He uses MUCH more water, gas, and electric than me, so why is he getting it for free?
If anyone can contribute feedback or solution I would really appreciate it!
​
TL;DR i am not using utilities so why should I have to contribute?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
dmFQN9uh1Ybo862F56b1PQ48KvsXq356
|
ap01ur
|
{
"description": "not saying I pushed someones baby",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because I didn't say I pushed someones baby (Which I didn't)
|
Hello. First-time poster on this subreddit. Whole story first, then a TL;DR.
​
A while ago my parents had the mother of one of my friends over. We're all pretty good friends, and talk as if we had been friends for a long time. My parents mainly invite them over for game night, but it's basically "Smoke, chat and play a little" night between my parents and my friend's mom, while me and my friend actually participate in playing video games. Overall, they're all pretty chill. So, while they were all playing Mario Kart on the switch (I sat out so my dad could play), my friend's little sister (About 1-2 at the time. Currently walking pretty well.) was trying to grab a PSVR headset that we had on a stand fairly low to the ground, and I would move her hands away. Now, I admit that I could've just moved the headset, but that thought hasn't occurred to me until writing this post. After a while of moving her hands away, she looks at me for about 5 seconds, smiles, and sits down, and lays down. Now she didn't do this very quickly, but to everybody who was staring at the TV (Which the PSVR headset and my friend's little sister was very close to) I could see how it looked like I pushed her, and she fell (Not to mention the fact that they were all high besides my friend.) They ask if I push her, (Which I deny pushing her) and about 5-15 minutes later, they leave and I get a text from my friend which reads: "Dude staright you lied to your parents about pushing (Her sister). I saw you push her, and the fact that you lied about it makes me sick. THat's why we left early. You can't be treating (Her sister) like she is some dog. (Next text) I don't know what your problem is but don't ever treat (Her sister) like that again." Now, at this point I was very upset because I was worried about losing friends. I show my dad the message, and he sends one for me pretending to be me: "I understand. I told mom and dad that I did after you left. I mad a mistake and was afraid to be in trouble. I make mistakes a lot and it's embarrassing. I'm very sorry (Next text) I want being as careful as I should've. Sry you're upset" Now, I hate being wrongly accused of things I didn't do, so I was protesting with my parents that I didn't push her, and my parents were on my side. We made up a month or two later, but I denied ever pushing her with my parents. Whilst we were making up, I ended up saying that I was sorry for pushing her, even though I knew I probably shouldn't have, and still protested against saying sorry to my parents before they came over. Am I the asshole?
​
TL;DR: Parents invited friends over. I tried to keep friend's very little sister from touching and breaking an expensive item. Friend's very little sister falls over while I'm trying to keep her away from the item, friends leave, and I get in trouble. Parents are on my side though. I make up with friends, but I am very angry that I have to apologize for something I didn't do. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
yBvOaEoI4YvET5ESzy0tF20wSFrKCX23
|
ah5p8s
|
{
"description": "regularly declining voluntary ot",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for regularly declining voluntary OT?
|
I work as a forklift operator at a warehouse, and I'm trained in virtually every operation that requires any type of forklift, because of this when we get busy my skills are in high demand. Usually a lead will ask me to work OT, but typically I decline because work-life balance is important ti me and I know mandatory OT is just around the corner.
The part where I feel like I might be being an asshole is that other drivers have been working 10 hour days for about a month now, whereas I'm just working my 8. This week I agreed to working an hour of OT every day, but if it comes up concerning next week I'm already pretty sure I'm going to decline.
I want to be a team player so we can get ahead, but at the same time I don't think me being there an extra hour will make too much of a difference. I'm of the mind that if we were really that busy the OT would be mandatory. Still every time I decline I feel like my leads take it personally, even though they say it's fine and that it's voluntary.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
RgNk3X7RkLkxdKkn3TscdkA3iaEJdO5q
|
b483g8
|
{
"description": "not telling my friend about removing him from a group project",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling my friend about removing him from a group project?
|
Tldr at the bottom. First off a bit of context (also on mobile so I apologize in advance for formatting):
I'm in 10th grade and recently had to do a group project in one of my classes. Now in the past, I had a friend (I'll call him Carl) who used to be my best friend (since 2nd grade). I'd say we had a little too many altercations over time to be considered best friends anymore but we still talk a little.
So first period, my teacher says we have to do a group project (we had to make an infographic type thing on a subject). Carl asks if I want to work with him, I say sure. First day, we do research, find all the definitions and stuff and we're done. The next day, I start on the final product while Carl sits there on his phone for the entire hour and a half. I tell him he needs to work on his portion at home since he didn't do it in class, he agrees. Day before its due, we have a midterm so we don't work on it in class. I tell him to do it since we only have one day left. Later that night, I call him (seeing that he hasn't done it yet) and tell him to do it or I'm taking his name off the project.
Now normally, I'd be fine with finishing the project on my own and putting his name on it, but there was a LOT if information to cover. He says ok, but still doesn't do it.
At this point, I'm taking to my other friend who I'll call George. I mention the project to George and he says he completely forgot about it (keep in mind it's due the next day). I offer to put his name on the project and remove Carl's name (since I already warned Carl) in return for him helping me finish. He agrees, we finish the project (he did more work than Carl did throughout the whole week).
Now the next day, today, comes along. The project is due at the end of the day, and I have not told Carl that I removed his name from the project. Selfish me wants to just let him get the zero as a wake up call to do his work but the other part of me wants to tell him so he can at least turn something in.
So the question is, AITA for not telling Carl that I replaced him?
Tldr; Friend asks me to do a project, makes me do all the work, told him I would remove his name if he didn't do his part, replaced him with other friend who helped me finish. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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"NOBODY": 0,
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OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NSh6XYRxxjsjTBV6H1w9giZ25C7Uptj3
|
ae3f5d
| null |
AITA in this disagreement about clashing audio from two games?
|
My SO and I are both playing games in our game room with our tvs right next to each other. They recently got the Persona rhythm game and I got Moonlighter. My hearing isn't great so I have my tv turned up a bit to hear the music and sounds in the game. They tell me to turn mine down so they can hear their game better and that the tv was loud enough to give them a headache.
We get into an argument on opposite sides basically with me saying that if one of us is playing a rhythm game that requires the music to be heard well, that that person should wear headphones or the like because their choice of game with audio needs shouldn't trump the other's enjoyment of their game music (if they want to hear it). They have the argument that since their game NEEDS audio and mine doesn't that I should have my audio turned down enough (but to them, "down enough" is to the point I can't hear the music well over the rhythm game.)
So therein lies the question, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
6g1p7ssGAESXBcpRgl1mFF1Tv8irQhCH
|
ar0bsw
|
{
"description": "getting Upset that my GF got me nothing for valentines",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For Getting Upset that my GF Got me Nothing For Valentines?
|
I'm M22, She's f20. Been together for about 6 months and she likes getting gifts so I knew she'd want something for V day plus dinner. I got her a charm from pandora for her bracelet and a ring from pandora, few roses, card, small teddy bear and a card and paid for dinner last night at a decent restaurant. She really liked all of this and I think I went over board but I really like her so I wanted it to be special for her. When we got back to my place I was kinda expecting her to give me a card or something at the very least seeing I just spent around $400 on her. But she just gave me head and we banged and that was it.
This morning I mentioned that it would have been nice if she got me something and she got defensive saying that girls don't usually get guys anything (she said that because this is my first relationship) and that she's a student and doesn't have that much money and I work full time making good money. I kinda got sad but said ahhh ok and left it at there but I've been being dry to her today and she's been calling me an asshole and pussy for wanting something for V Day. She is a student but her parents give her a lot of money and how expensive would a card have been $2?
​
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
2kPiKW2JChp1SZ7R9MNAt6iXXMADwQje
|
ay5l4u
|
{
"description": "not having my father at my wedding because he never invited me to his",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for not having my father at my wedding because he never invited me to his?
|
Typical story, parents got divorced when I was 12. They both got remarried.
​
But when my father got remarried, they "eloped". I found out a few weeks later that they actually had my stepmother's kids present. I have held onto this grudge forever. It has affected my relationship with my father and my step relationships as well.
​
I should say my father has apologized many times and and he's begged for forgiveness in the past few years. I just cannot bring myself to let it go. It just made me realize how he viewed me in terms of importance.
​
During his second marriage found less and less time for me. Couldn't even take me on vacations he took his stepkids on.
​
It's now 16 years later. My father and my awful stepmother are now divorced. He's sad and alone and realizing he's messed up and has been trying to fix things with me. I am just not interested. It's too little too late.
​
I am getting married later this year. WIBTA for not inviting my father?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
AnsmqAlTAMe2akE6tMaI3d1a6vYrJOxM
|
a3w959
|
{
"description": "not wanting to put someone else's money into my account and deposit and give it to them",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to put someone else's money into my account and deposit and give it to them?
|
Title.
​
My cousin texted me asking me to deposit money her father sent her through PayPal into my account. Checking out the money at an ATM and giving it to her cash. She said she doesn't want it to go to her bank account because she already has automatic payments setup (???). I'm not familiar with PayPal or banking, but that was a red flag. Why would that prevent PayPal from making a deposit into her account? I don't know this just seems like a weird ask and I'm not comfortable with it. Now, she's just angry texting me, calling me selfish and I've ignored it, but I can't escape the feeling that I'm the asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1yMJuF9QQQNSWukXHiHlYODwhfE7tPOC
|
apo2jy
|
{
"description": "wanting to live with my mom instead of my dad",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to live with my mom instead of my dad?
|
I made a post on here earlier and following the events of that post I make this one, because I don’t think I can live with him anymore. I sent him a message saying that I don’t think it’s fair how much I have to do around the house (because I have to do a lot and I feel like I have to fill the position of “housewife” when I’m at his house.) and he stormed into my room right after he read it and basically told me he thinks he has to do everything. I*have*been slowing down on how much I do because well I do have things to do and I’m just so tired of it, it’s been happening since 2017 and I was only 12 then, but I still do so much and he verbally berated me telling me how little I do and that he has to do so much and I’m just complaining over nothing and I don’t do anything to help (and I did follow up with a sibling because I did want to make sure other people did see what I was doing and my sibling agreed with me that I do do a lot) but after simply voicing my complaints he went after me and made me feel like shit even though I know I’m doing stuff and then he told me I’m the reason he’s been so upset these last couple days (he didn’t mean it in a caring way, he meant it in “I’m a burden” way) and then he made some more passive aggressive remarks and slammed my door like a child. I’m 14 (barely) and he’s 54. I was really upset after that obviously and I started talking to my mom about living with her full time, I’m just so done with my dad, he demands that I do everything a maternal figure would do, take care of his son, clean his fucking kitchen, make dinner for 5 people just when he doesn’t feel like it. And he’ll make me make him like breakfast when he just doesn’t feel like cooking and he does it only to me, just me, out of 4 kids, he just chooses me. And then he tells me I do nothing. I hate his house and I hate him. Am I just being an asshole or is there any merit to what I’m saying?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
hTTPZzspMqR5VZd68KhwZAnDA5Gc7jKZ
|
amh7i1
|
{
"description": "not wanting to quit smoking",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For Not Wanting to Quit Smoking?
|
A bit of backstory: I (16f) started smoking about a year and a half ago after an incident with an ex boyfriend left me with some pretty bad anxiety, especially at school. I picked up smoking as a coping mechanism, but dropped it for a while in favor of vaping. When I dated my current boyfriend for the first time (May-Aug last year), I wasn't smoking very often because I was in a pretty good place, mentally. I picked it up again in September because stress and it's way cheaper to buy a pack of smokes than it is to buy a bottle of vape juice.
We got back together in January of 2019 and I can tell he wants me to quit, even if he won't say it to my face. I don't really smoke when it's just him and I, but he still knows I do it. I've been playing dumb as much as possible but I know he wants me to quit, but I don't want to have to argue it with him or try to convince him why I smoke, he knows that I've been through a fair bit of trauma and that school is a big source of anxiety for me. I go through about half a pack on a bad day, so my habit isn't nearly as substantial as some of the people I know.
Recently, I filled my friend in on the situation, and he told me that I'm being a bitch for continuing to smoke and not stopping out of courtesy for my boyfriend, so I'm asking the good people of reddit to help me settle this one.
Am I the Asshole for playing dumb about the situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
dSe0PHlh4T09pZrjz2fSotXQ4qu0NOuA
|
b0zfxc
|
{
"description": "not wanting my parents to constantly send things to my sister/cousin",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my parents to constantly send things to my sister/cousin?
|
For clarity my youngest sister was adopted from my family because my uncle and his wife both cannot conceive children. My uncle has three children including my sister that he has adopted from our side and his in laws. Uncle owns his own computer retail and repair shop, so hes well off.
My younger sister has always been a soft spot for my mom. Initially she didnt really want to give up my younger sister but had made a promise to her father that if she does ever give birth to another child that she would let her older brother adopt them. Being a woman of culture and of her word, when she gave birth my grandma took my little sister away making her my legal cousin.
Every year like clockwork, since my sisters birth my parents have always sent birthday gifts, christmas gifts, etc. My uncle understood and is cool with it, my sister always elated because theyre gifts. It never bothered me because i once took a trip home and we got along well.
However, recently i feel like my sisters starting to become a brat about it. Her sister just recently gave birth and now that theres a new baby in the picture my uncle has tightened his purse strings so to say. Ive since learned that my younger sister, who used to ask for things through me, has now gone over my head to tell my older sister to ask my mom to send her things. I know its because i stopped relaying her message, but only because her requests came too often and were too expensive.
My mom and i argued because i noticed her online shopping had become ridiculous and she informed me that its all stuff for my younger sister back home. WHAT? i got mad because my mom doesnt even work anymore, and the rents gone up, and we just bought a new car. WE ONLY MAKE ENOUGH (me, my older sister, and dad work) to pay bills, buy food, and buy things for the 4 children in the house. I reminded her that my little sister isnt living in poverty, my uncle is much much more well off than us. THEY HAVE FOUR CARS, MY LITTLE SISTER HAS HER OWN CAR!
My mom called me an asshole for making a fuss about it since shes still my sister and i should WANT to send her nice things since she didnt choose to leave us. I made my mom cry cause i told her im cutting her off, and i know making my mom cry makes me an asshole, but aita for not wanting to send my little sister care packages anymore?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
2WWwL7b04TUtAO8N9d29SyNmwdDm0wj9
|
aqjvw4
|
{
"description": "arguing with my mom on the phone",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA After arguing with my mom on the phone
|
This post is gonna grow off of this previous: [AITA Haven't spoken with my mother since Christmas after some fighting](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/agt1rm/aita_havent_spoken_with_my_mother_since_christmas/)
​
I'm 17 m and the relationship between me and my mom for the past two months has been really rocky. She has made decisions that I strongly disagree with and all under the guise that she 'is an adult'.
​
Recently, my mom was getting food for my brother (14) and he asked if I wanted something. I wasn't sure who was getting the meal, but who would miss out on free food?
​
Well, all he did when I responded was give me the phone. It was my mom. She said that I had to give her a hug if she got the food and almost immediately I denied the fact that I wanted anything. I was planning to eat at home anyways. I said, "If you want a hug, I want an apology."
​
That pissed her off.
​
From there it spiraled into an argument, she denied her guilt in anything and refused to apologize. She started yelling at me over the phone which I responded with yelling back. Saying that "she was the adult" and "I was the kid". "Everything \[was\] my fault" because I didn't have better judgement. If you read the other post, you will find this is at least somewhat wrong.
​
I ended the call with "Have a nice life" and hung up. Finally, my question is if I am the asshole for sticking up to my mom like that. It felt wrong and I have had a guilty feeling in my stomach since we fought. AITA?
​
TL;DR: Scream-argument with my mom on the phone following [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/agt1rm/aita_havent_spoken_with_my_mother_since_christmas/), she refused to admit guilt and I hung up, still not talking to her.
There is a tldr at the bottom of the attached post, too.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
QUAWl90oAMuBlhcvHQyWiHlnvoOz90LY
|
a0rfx1
|
{
"description": "making jokes about Paul Walker",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making jokes about Paul Walker
|
I recently was playing rocket league online and made a joke about Paul Walker's death after my Fast and Furious Replica car was blown up. My teammates got offended by it and yelled at me for the rest of the match. I feel like enough time has passed for the joke to be okay now. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Xk30tlj498Gs7lEvPDJYlaTubwZVEJ4A
|
b5ptb0
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my girlfriend for not going to prom with me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my girlfriend for not going to prom with me?
|
Some background here: She first approached me about going to prom and at the time I was pretty against it because I am not really one for school dances and such. She was pretty upset and said how she really wanted to go with me and such. About a week later I figured that I should go because that's what couples do and that it wouldn't kill me to go to prom. So last night I tell her and she got all mad me saying how I now want to go to prom with her because now its convenient for me and I tried explaining why I changed my mind but she was still all up in a fit. If I am the asshole here what do I do to fix it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
sLs7khCEdYDhspkO0u8Dt4EzxU6PUia1
|
aexdvw
|
{
"description": "ditching my boyfriend on Valentine's day",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for ditching my boyfriend on Valentine’s Day?
|
Hello fellow proctologists, thank you for your time and your help in figuring this one out. I’ve thought through it from a few different angles and can’t seem to find a satisfactory approach.
Some backstory: A few years ago, on my birthday, I was targeted in a club and had my drink spiked. I was abducted by a pimp and delivered to two men who had paid for a prostitute. They raped me all night in their hotel room, and in the morning I stole some cash from one of them (my phone, wallet, etc were all missing at this point) and managed to pay for a cab ride home. I have not been back to this hotel since, except with police to identify the location. My birthday is the same week as Valentine’s Day, and I have just recently started “reclaiming” my birthday and celebrating again, so my boyfriend and I usually do a few fun things that weekend for the combined occasions. My boyfriend works in the entertainment industry, and in 2018 he started a small production company and produced his first short film. I am incredibly proud of him and excited to support him in his career aspirations.
The situation at hand: My boyfriend’s film has been accepted to a festival screening that happens to be on Valentine’s Day. I’m thrilled for him, and excited to attend the screening with him. There is a networking event afterwards, which is a very big deal for his industry and would greatly benefit him career-wise. He is a little shy, and I am much better at schmoozy networking party conversation, so I was planning to attend this with him afterwards for moral support and to encourage him to be bold and really go for it. I just checked the afterparty information, and it is being held at the hotel where I was raped. I do not want to go there, ever, and I especially don’t want to go there so close to the anniversary of my trauma. He knows what happened to me, but he doesn’t know that this hotel is where it occurred. I’ve asked him if he would be okay with me going to the screening with him and then heading home while he goes to the afterparty with his director, but he said he really wants me to be with him the whole night. To me, it seems like there is no way to avoid being an asshole here.
Option A: I refuse to go without giving any specific reason why -- “I just don’t want to.” In this case, I show a clear lack of support for him and his career goals. I also run the risk of him trying to skip the afterparty in favor of doing something else with me for Valentine’s Day, which I think would be a big mistake.
Option B: I refuse to go but explain why, and tell him I really want him to go without me. In this case, I’m worried that he will not really take advantage of the networking opportunities and will be worrying about me instead. After I initially told him about my rape, he had trouble sleeping and was upset for weeks. He is deeply empathetic, and I don’t want to put any negative, distracting thoughts and images into his head during the event. I don’t want him thinking about what happened to me and getting the wind knocked out of his sails.
Option C: I just suck it up and go to both the screening and the afterparty and do my best to act totally normal. I’m worried that even if I try my hardest to be my normal self, my boyfriend will be able to tell that something is “off,” and will get distracted trying to comfort me. Alternatively, I could pull off the facade and everything goes great. Then we go home, and it’s Valentine’s Day, and he wants to have sex while I’m on edge from re-living my trauma all night. He would have no idea why I wouldn’t want to be intimate and I would ruin our Valentine’s Day.
So reddit, please help. Would I be the asshole if I pick any of the options above?
TL;DR Boyfriend has an important networking event at the hotel where I was raped, I want to support him but I also don’t want to go.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 12,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
7IyPKbeIWR5vdwCvSKFrfbUn5xTKSKhr
|
att51n
|
{
"description": "\"isolating\" my significant other from her \"friends\"",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA (32m) for "isolating" my significant other (28f) from her "friends"
|
A little backstory:
My girlfriend and I have been together for a couple of years now, and for a great majority of that time, things have been wonderful.
Recently though, due to some issues related to trust, things have started to get a little rocky. For the last handful of months she's become obsessed with the idea that I'm cheating on her with someone she found a in-the-comments conversation that I had with on Instagram, two years before her and I met ( someone who, by the way, I haven't spoken with since we before we met as well).
What started as questions about who this girl was/is slowly turned into accusations- accusations that I would be a "liar" for denying.
Dodging these false accusation, that hurt my soul to the deepest level because to betray her trust like that is totally outside of my character, has become an almost weekly event now, and this last time, I told her that I had had enough with the lack of trust and told her I wanted to break
up.
This of course gives way to a tidal wave of statements like "well have fun fucking [Susan]", and "I knew you were just trying to get rid of me so you could get with [Susan]", etc, and then she said this, which I found particularly hurtful, and gave occasion for this post:
"You isolated me from all of my friends, and then you leave me!?"
What she was referring to in that statement was the fact that, on several occasions she has come to me sobbing about the horrible ways one friend or another has treated or is treating her. I always make time for her and listen intently, before commenting something like, "well, that's not how friends ought to treat each other, so, if that's how it is, fuck her/him. You deserve better. You're worthy of more."
So what's happening is, now that we're breaking up. she's trying to accuse me of instructing her to cut ties with all her friends because I wanted to isolate her. Like I'm some control freak asshole, which I can promise you I am the farthest thing from. I always encourage her to hang out and her feeling free and trusted while she does is hugely important to me.
So, am I the asshole for "isolating" my girlfriend from her "friends"?
TLDR: My girlfriend often comes to me complaining about this friend or that friend, how poorly they treat her, and how she needs new friends. My response has always been something along the lines of:
"You don't deserve to be treated like that. You deserve better."
Now that we're breaking up, she's trying to bring up those occasions as attempts I made at isolating her from her friends.
AITA for "isolating" my significant other from her friends?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1taJM8wO8Q6qeDITYr6BX3KnvxZaRQPY
|
b53hks
|
{
"description": "siding with my nephew during dinner with my family",
"pronormative_score": 54,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for siding with my nephew during dinner with my family?
|
So basically my brother, his wife, his son (M 14), and his daughter came down to our place to visit us, me and my girlfriend. So over dinner we started talking about the gym, since my brother and his wife are trying to be a better and healthy family, and on the subject, my nephew started talking poorly about the gym's community. When asked why he was being so negative, he told us that when he was working out on a machine, this 30 year old came and asked him to move. The nephew declined as he was using the machine and he wasn't done working out yet, so he wasn't just going to move because this random man asked him. His parents started saying that he did wrong and soon, my girlfriend agreed with them. I was surprised and I strongly disagreed because he was on the machine so he didn't have to move until he was finished with it. His parents reasoning for why their son was wrong was because he was younger, and since he was younger, his workout wasn't as important as the man's workout. I thought that was total bull crap, since age doesn't determine how important a workout is. Both my nephew and the man were trying to benefit their body, so they were equal, and age doesn't matter. Anyway, after dinner, my brother started talking shit to me and how I was wrong because "respect your elders" and that crap. I kinda feel bad since I'm not my nephews father and I kinda disrespected his father in front of him. Anyway, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 53,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 54,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
0SKfjGZ5WitSlwuICPXdOqZM3beNhqTB
|
aymtvo
|
{
"description": "being selfish",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being selfish?
|
( sorry for formatting I’m on mobile )
A little backstory: some weirdo is going around my school asking for girls info then threatenIng them. My gf was one of them and now her parents won’t let her out the house until she gets a drivers license.
Now, my gf texted me saying I’m very selfish. She refused to tell why and eventually called me to yell in my ear still refusing to tell me.
She then says I’m selfish because I wasn’t very concerned (and wasn’t mad) she couldn’t leave the house until I connected that we couldn’t go out on dates(when I realized I let out a long awwwwwwwww).
I don’t think her not being able to leave isn’t a big deal because if she actually tried to get a license it wouldn’t take that long and I don’t see how her parents protecting her is a bad thing.
I just think she’s pmsing buttttt I cant really let this off my mind.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
U66cevpAnHWTZrh2dxCGhDREAqfPNvtT
|
a4linw
|
{
"description": "offering one of my roommates beers",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for offering one of my roommates beers?
|
I'd like to say I don't think it's generally ok to offer other peoples food or speak for someone else but I feel like the context of this scenario makes it justifiable. The roommate has in the past offered my drinks such as milk/soda to people and said that I wasn't being a "team player" for complaining about this despite the fact I'm the only one who buys these things so it's always mine that get used. In addition to the roommate I live with two other men who weren't present for this story.
As further context to this the roommate in question constantly asks me for beer and has for that past few months since moving in always with the promise of "replacing them once he gets the money". I've probably gave him 20 or more beers in the time we've live together but I like to try to be fairly easy to live with so although it has bothered me he hasn't even attempted to pay me back like he said I haven't made a big deal out of it.
Fast forward to the other day and we had a few of his friends around for an evening of playing a video game that just came out. While trying to be a good host I offer our guests the drinks I know I have in the kitchen and at the end I remember the roommate has a few beers too so I offer them as an option, saying he probably wouldn't mind because he owes me a few anyway and in general it's been ok for others drinks to be offered to guests.
As I leave to go get the drinks including a beer I turn back to double check with the roommate anyway but mid sentence he starts telling me off and shouting at me for being "rude and presumptuous" offering one of his beers and that "Just because you gave me beer doesn't mean you now get to take my beer without asking". I tried to explain that I was about to ask him but he continued to repeat himself without acknowledging what I said. To make matters worse the person who wanted the beer changed their mind after this and the rest of the evening was fairly awkward despite me trying to play it off.
So Reddit I'd like to know what you think about this scenario, I realize that offering someone else's food is generally asshole behavior but I feel like it was acceptable given this context and the roommate was being fairly unreasonable in how he reacted to this, I'm considering moving out due to this consistent pattern of it being a one way pattern of me putting more time and money into the "team effort" of the house.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZxOiTScHUTdtsNvh5HMHxJHVx41yREnH
|
b5kzyv
|
{
"description": "asking to break in line",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking to break in line?
|
I was recently in San Francisco for work and chose to stay at a hotel that was right next to my favorite cannabis dispensary. I've been to a bunch of places in the bay area, but this one is my favorite. The reason I like it so much is that the staff aren't super baked like a lot of the other places in the bay area, especially around Berkeley. The online site is always up to date, I can place an order and go pick it up. Online order pick up is a separate line so it's always pretty quick... until today.
​
Today I go into the shop and, as usual, go straight to the "Online Pick-Up" line. There's only 2 people in line for pick-up, but about 10 in line for the regular ordering line. I get into the pick-up line and the guy in front me says "I've already been here 15 mins." I look to see what's going on with the person at the counter and they are standing there with an iPad, slowly going through the entire menu, ordering things one-by-one and asking lots of questions. While I don't have a problem with this in general, this was the online pick-up line. If they want to shop and discuss, I feel they should be in the longer, regular checkout line.
The guy that's in front of me gets tired of waiting and says "fuck this" and walks away to go wait in the normal check out line. I'm still a bit skeptical, so I decide to keep waiting in the pick-up line since... well, that's what I'm here to do.
​
Another 5-6 mins go by and there's no progress being made and the lady is visibly taking her time as if there were no one else waiting behind her. At this point I realize that if the guy in front of me was being honest, this has been going on at least 20-25 minutes with people waiting in line. So I lean forward and say "Excuse me, I'm just here to pick up, mind if I pass through?"
​
At this point the lady in front that was ordering gave me an eat-shit look over the top of her glasses. The attendant behaves as though I just told everyone to fuck themselves; she throws up her hands and shakes her head. Then says "She's in front of you, I can't just let you in front of her!".
I play it cool and just say "ok cool" . Fortunately someone else in the shop noticed what was going on and quickly helped me. The guy who was previously in front of me runs over from the regular line and says "me too! I have an online order too!... and have been waiting over 20 minutes!", which was slightly vindicating.
​
Question is: am I the asshole for asking to break in line and get my pick-up order? I sure felt like one but when I think about it, I don't see how I was in the wrong.
​
Curious to hear any comments!
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
QA3CVXPzTBHnUrN0VNPKQocVqigzLoju
|
alsoc1
|
{
"description": "recommending that a Family Member not go on a trip",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Recommending That A Family Member Not Go On A Trip
|
So I'm going on a trip with my family, and we found out a year ago about this trip. During the initial planning we realized that there would be 3 free vouchers for these people to go for free. It was decided who would get these, and my brother was one of them.
For the past few years though my brother's been a flake. He'll commit to going to something, only to not show up and you can text or call to see where he's at but he won't get back to you until 3-5 days later. So this was concerning for my parents and myself because if we use the voucher on him and he decides to flake, we A) won't know till day of and B) we would be out for the value of the free voucher.
My parents asked him to confirm if he could go. His response was along the lines of "at this present time I can say yes, but I'm not sure". So not quite instilling confidence. Neither my brother, parents, or myself could cover the cost of his trip on such short notice, so ultimately they decided to not use the voucher on him and use it on me. This was a surprise to me and while I had paid off the trip I won't say no to the credit.
Now my other family are emailing me, and they're saying that I'm an asshole for being motivated to get the voucher as I'd get to go for free. Thing is though is since now I'm going from a double occupancy to a single, I'm only getting a portion back; and I'm paying my mom back for the deposit she paid for him. So it's not really a motivator here. Still, I suppose I just want to know for my own self whether I am in the right or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 7,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
7Ezp5Uy5OJGPqb7tIP3zhEhQ5WQKgh2q
|
amqqgy
|
{
"description": "not wanting to hang out with my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hang out with my girlfriend?
|
I love my girlfriend to death, and between school and work we rarely get to hang out. Every other weekend we get to hangout, and for the most part I'm ecstatic when she gets to come over, as is her. But some days I just want to be alone, some days I dont entirely feel like being around anyone for that matter and that usually leaves my girlfriend sad, and me feeling awful. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XxhHHdL2etNE8B1Mt8NLy8Cbhu4nwFHk
|
apdbf0
|
{
"description": "refusing to do my brother's dishes",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for refusing to do my brother's dishes?
|
I’m confused at the moment. I just escaped an awkward, unfinished argument with my brother and his girlfriend. To preface this, my brother, his girlfriend, and I live in an apartment together and split the rent three ways. On the way home after being away with his girlfriend for three days, my brother texts me that I better have kept up with my dishes, as he knows I’m one to procrastinate on cleaning up after myself. I reassured him by texting back that I had cleaned all of my dishes after I had eaten dinner. He replies with ‘Since I made waffles and you got to enjoy them, it only makes sense for you to clean the waffle stuff’. The Thursday before he left, my brother left me a waffle and enough waffle batter in a large bowl for more waffles in the fridge. While they were gone, I ate the waffle and used the batter to make two more. Taking his reply to mean he wanted me to wash his waffle bowl he left in the fridge, I reply with ‘That doesn’t make sense, and I haven’t washed the waffle bowl’. This started an argument between my brother and I.
My brother believes that I should repay his act of kindness with kindness; that him giving me waffles and batter should be repaid by me cleaning up after him. He believes that if I refuse to clean the waffle bowl, it would be wrong.
I believe that I shouldn’t have to clean any mess I didn’t make. My brother should be responsible for cleaning up after his own messes, acts of kindness involved or not. Him giving me waffles is irrelevant; he sullied the bowl, he should have to clean it. Had I known I was supposedly morally obligated to clean after my brother’s waffle mess, I wouldn’t have accepted his waffles or batter. For him to offer something to me and decide that I’m unspokenly indebted to him for accepting isn’t right.
They get home an hour later, and my brother’s girlfriend confronts me about the situation. She tells me she’s disappointed in me. She’s taken my brothers side, and has interpreted my disagreement with my brother as an attack against our friendship and our arrangement. She says it’s fine if you want to just be a roommate, only paying your side of living expenses, but for you to not contribute in this circumstance is unfriendly. I walk out of the conversation, as it quickly dawned upon me how badly this escalated and how she’s misinterpreted the situation. I’m going to bed now; I’m gonna have to think about how to handle this.
TLDR: Am I the asshole for refusing to clean up after my brother’s mess he made making waffles, even if he gave me some?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
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}
|
WRONG
|
vVJOIb0nqP1Sgrvcpt8E91qWtshz4I7O
|
a3vqz5
|
{
"description": "not giving a ride",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not giving a ride
|
I stopped by a gas station to get a drink, and was approached by a lady who was walking outside. She asked me to give her a ride, saying she had $2, for a few blocks down the street. I politely turned her down, despite her showing me her metal leg. She got very irritated and started yelling obscenities at me while exiting the store. Should I have given her a ride?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
lPCngC4LaXcwLSBmJ7XUIH7CQ5W4em3c
|
axczn3
|
{
"description": "not inviting future sister in law to our wedding",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA, we didn’t invite future sister in law to our wedding
|
Me [23f] and my fiancé [27m] are getting married in May. We did not invite my soon to be sister in law [23f] to the wedding. She just got out of prison. She was in there for a year, after years of drug addiction/legal issues.
She has reached out to my fiancé, saying she’s trying to live right and do better, which is great. There was a function at her halfway house that we went to because she invited us. This was the first time I had ever officially met her, and the first time my fiancé had seen her in years.
I come from a small rural town. Back when we were younger, she really made a name for herself. Stealing from people, selling fake drugs to younger kids, the whole nine. She was “that” girl. She was “car hopping” and one of the cars she hit was my good friends dad’s, her or one of the people she was with stole his GPS. This friend ended up being my roommate in college, and her parents are invited to my wedding.
A lot of our wedding guests will be people who grew up with us, therefore know all about fiancés sister. I don’t want our guests uncomfortable because someone who stole from them in the past is in attendance. My fiancé owns a contracting company, I sell real estate. We’ve settled down about an hour away from our home town, but I still sell houses in that area and he does quotes in that area all the time. Both of our livelihoods depend on our image. As I don’t want anyone thinking we associate with people like her. Lastly, I barely know her. I don’t want her attached to my special day in any kind of way.
She JUST got out of prison. Maybe she’s changed, maybe she hasn’t. Time will tell. I feel like a natural consequence of robbing people is that other people won’t want you around after that, and she should understand.
After she discovered she had not received an invitation, she messaged my fiancé asking what was going on, so he told her we had decided to have just close family and friends. She lost it. Messaged us both saying she can’t believe we would be so mean, that we shouldn’t have “pretended” to support her recovery. My fiancé responded that our wedding day has nothing to do with her recovery, and we aren’t close due to her life choices. He received another angry message back.
Are we the assholes?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
pxFN2ipjUPd2URVRk7Y3iH6nu6Jw6gY5
|
9uf740
|
{
"description": "asking to turn AirDrop off",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking to turn AirDrop off?
|
I work as Computer Support in a what should be secure environment. AirDrop is obviously not a very secure feature.
There were prior issues with it at a separate facility which I shut down real quick because I didn't want the hassle of individually removing files from each MacBook.
So as I entered into work on Thursday, my coworker asked me if it's possible to turn AirDrop off which I replied "yes you can, would you like me to disable it?" To which she said no, there aren't any issues right now.
So near the end of the day, I walked into her classroom and made double sure that I shouldn't turn it off and there were two students in the classroom, who may have been using it before.
They were completely against the disabling of it, though that decision isn't up to them since it'd be my job on the line.
Said teacher was upset that I brought it up in front of them to which I replied "Regardless if they were there or not, if they were using it they'd find out anyways. It's a bandaid that needs to get ripped off."
It just seemed like she was upset/angry and being suuuper passive aggressive about it and I don't really know why? (If formatting is trash, I'm on mobile my bad)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
75D7A8DKK5DnDyWrfiENkFf0s1zPNuNV
|
b8p1mi
|
{
"description": "telling people to take their hats off in a restaurant",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 25
}
|
WIBTA for telling people to take their hats off in a restaurant?
|
So this isn’t actually a scenario directed at me, but my girlfriend recently told me that her dad was really tempted to tell a group of strangers at a restaurant to take their hats off while they eat. He’s a very traditional type of guy, and so he was very angry to see that they (random strangers) were eating with their hats on. When she told me this, I was kind of taken aback, because to me, it’s none of his business. I’m asking because maybe I’m missing some restaurant etiquette?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 25,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 25
}
|
WRONG
|
eKueGLIKFCaHr9aWEjYlYDPje0m7atq2
|
b92u8x
|
{
"description": "planning my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For Planning My Wedding?
|
At the beginning of this year my fiance and I started looking at wedding venues. My mother had expressed interest in the wedding planning so we included her in the process. Some backstory on my mom is that she is a bit of a helicopter parent. I graduated college back last May, have moved out of state, have a nice job, and a lot of independence.
My fiance had found a venue that she really liked and wanted to see in person. We invited both sets of parents although mine weren't able to make it because they are in the medical field and time off seems to be a rare blessing.
We went to the venue and everything seemed amazing. We chose that we would have it there.
My mom didn't like us making that decision without them having seen the venue. We told them we would like them to come down with us to the venue another time before the wedding. My fiance got emotional over my parent's reaction and started to break down thinking that my family hated her. My fiance's family tried to intervene by posting onto Facebook extremely hurtful and threatening posts about my mom and how they are "messing with the family".
This obviously didn't go well and my mom pretty much went no contact and I was devastated. My parents said we were no longer invited to nights at their house anymore while in town.
My mom eventually blocked us. When my fiance and I decided on a wedding date, I told my dad the date with an explanation to why we chose it. We told my parents before my fiance's to make sure that their schedules could fit. I asked that if there were any conflicts, to please tell us so we could reschedule for a better date.
My dad really tried for a couple of weeks to get us to mend our problems. It turns out she had just blocked us on Facebook so I kept trying to reach out to my mom in meaningful ways by saying how much I love her, how much I disagree with my fiance's parent's actions, and so on, but it did no good.
A month or two passes and we are to today. A couple of days ago we set a date with the wedding adviser. We used the date that we had set a while ago and I texted my parents the update. My mom blew up not knowing that a date had been set and saying she can't make it. It turns out my dad had never told her the date when I had told him.
My fiance's parents figured a couple days ago that there is some kind of 3 day rule to signing a contract where you can get out of it so they said that if there is any time to change the date it would be by today. I have been trying to talk to my mom to get her to tell me a day that works with her but she has said over and over to not let her ruin our lives and we can pick a date on our own. I'm trying to talk to my dad at the moment on what to do and to pick a date with him but I feel like I'm going to pick a date today that my own parents won't be able to attend. I love them so much and I want them to attend.
Am I the asshole? I can answer questions.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
zUyirh70XIoez0Qk69LwUBBV4hN6Nh8O
|
aisoza
|
{
"description": "not believing a student that threatened to shoot up my school can change",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not believing a student that threatened to shoot up my school can change?
|
Ok, so about a year ago someone threatened to shoot my school up, a student. I’m in 8th Grade. He had a list and everything, he was held in a correctional school until yesterday. He’s back to our school now. I never really talked to him, but I can’t shake the weird vibe around him. I look at him and he still has the look in his eyes like he’s scanning everyone. I don’t know if it was a joke when he threatened to do it, but I just stay away from him, don’t talk to him. AITA for ceasing all contact with him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PmP7FqBazbC7QwnnNBRSRQDD1ZCjDFcI
|
awwu0e
|
{
"description": "going on a trip with a girl who is in love with me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 101
}
|
WIBTA if I went on a trip with a girl who is in love with me?
|
I have a girlfriend, Amy, who I’ve been with for 9 months. The girl who is mentioned in the title is Melissa my friend of 3 years. M is part of a group of 7 friends from college.
About 4 months ago, Melissa and I planned a trip for our college friend group to go to Hawaii in May. Melissa was in charge of coordinating the trip with everyone else. She told me that she couldn’t get anyone to agree on dates or agree to the trip so it was just going to be the two of us. I asked about bringing Amy along but Melissa said that it would be a bad idea for me to plan a trip so far in the future with someone I had just started dating. This made sense so I decided not to invite Amy. At first, Amy was a little uncomfortable with some aspects of this trip (Melissa and I sharing a room) but was fine after I assured her that Melissa and I were just friends.
Fast forward to Friday night. My college friends and I all go over to Melissa’s house to hang out and drink. Things are totally normal until around midnight after everyone else leaves and it’s just Melissa and me. Melissa started telling me about how excited she is for the Hawaii trip because it’s finally “our time” and that she’s been waiting for this for three years. I had no idea wtf she was talking about so I asked her to explain. She said she’s been in love with me since we first met and that she knows I feel the same way. Things clicked in my brain once she tried to kiss me. I told her that I wasn’t feeling well and left.
Yesterday, I told Amy what happened and we had this conversation (not exact quotes obviously):
> Amy: It sucks that you’ll have to cancel your Hawaii trip. Maybe we can go somewhere together that week instead.
> Me: Why would I cancel the Hawaii trip?
> Amy: Because Melissa just admitted she’s in love with you and it would be inappropriate to go on a trip alone with her.
> Me: Look I would like to cancel the trip but, I’ve already paid a lot for this trip and some of it is non-refundable. It sucks that I’ll have to go with Melissa but if you trust me, you know that I would never allow for things to get inappropriate.
> Amy: I trust you and I don’t think you’d cheat but I still think it’s inappropriate to go on a trip alone with her.
This went in for a while longer and Amy started to get mad and interrogate me about why it was so important for me to go on a trip with Melissa. By the end of the conversation, she said she was sure if she believed it was just about the money anymore.
It honestly is just about the money. Ideally, I wouldn’t have to go with Melissa but I don’t see any other way out of this. I understand where Amy is coming from but I feel like she should trust me to be appropriate. WIBTA if I went on this trip anyway?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 95,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 101
}
|
WRONG
|
HnRiDWmYLdpCglCa5FuFNpqgkFb8PbmK
|
aooh62
|
{
"description": "taking my brother's Phone away Dor showing everybody I didn't want to show my grades",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For taking My Brother's Phone Away Dor Showing Everybody I Didn't Want To Show My Grades?
|
So to start things off, Im a high schooler and a while ago, I used my brothers phone to see my emails. Big mistake, right? So, then I logged off (or I assumed I did). Simple as that. Fast forward 2 months later, we're at my cousin's house. We're having a small family meeting, and for some reason, they have to bring the "kids" along. Each of us brought food along like the generous people we are. So we go into my cousin's room to hang out. Fast forward a couple of minutes later, we're talking about school and stuff. I decide to try and change the subject because I don't feel comfortable about my situation in school. Then, my cousin decides to bring up grades. Now, I have pretty average grades, but everyone else has straight A grades, like the typical Asian family we are. All of a sudden, my cousin waves his phone in my face and says now I have to show him my grades since he did the same. I say no and try to change the subject. On the spot. My brother pulls up his phone, and my grades, using schoolloop and shows everyone. I try my hardest and eventually stop him before he reaches my cousin. Now, he calls me the a-hole and they repeatedly try to take it from me. Now I sit alone while everybody shames me. AITA For protecting my privacy?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4oxnmm8UoUMWZT0jNQnr9nYvIaKisdHD
|
b8l4zo
|
{
"description": "not inviting my best friend's boyfriend of 3 years to my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not inviting my best friend’s boyfriend of 3 years to my wedding?
|
Tl;dr at the bottom
My best friend of 8 years (we’ll call her Kate) and her bf (Roger) have been together for 3 years and have a house together. And they fight constantly. Not just your run of the mill arguments either, they are incredibly abusive to one another.
I held in my feelings about Roger for a long time until, in the middle of them fighting, Kate came to me and said “sometimes I just want to leave him.” It took everything in me not to beg her to do so, and instead calmly said that I don’t like him, I don’t believe they treat each other with respect, and that she can do better for herself. She just defended him, rationalized and excused their behaviors towards one another. She basically said that I’m not in the relationship, so my perspective is invalid. I feel the need to mention that she’s 21 years old and he’s 40-something.
This blew up and manifested in other ways, and she didn’t talk to me for two weeks.
She finally called me and we talked for hours. I was telling her my true feelings that I’ve held in for the past 2 years. I don’t like Roger, even though I have tried. He’s been nice and cordial to me, welcomed me in their home, and has done nothing directly to me. I’ve been nice to him, hosted him in my home, went on double dates with them, tried to get to know him, and I do not like him. I’m not friends with Roger and would never associate myself with him outside of my friendship with Kate. Therefore, I do not want him at my wedding, and my fiancé feels the same.
It’s clear that she loves him and he loves her, even through the toxicity I’ve witnessed firsthand. My goal isn’t to break them up, I’m all about fighting for who you love and I have to trust and respect the decisions she makes. I just want her to respect my feelings towards him. I want a relationship with Kate outside of her relationship with Roger. She can still come to me and tell me about their lives together, as I love hearing about her life. I just don’t want to be around Roger anymore or see him on what’s going to be the happiest day of my life with my future husband.
Am I the asshole for telling her this and also telling Kate that I don’t want Roger at my wedding? The majority of guests will be family and I’m only inviting 5 friends (including her) and only one of those friends is married (they invited me to their wedding and I actually like his wife) so I gave that friend a plus one.
Tl;dr I don’t want my best friend’s toxic relationship at my wedding, just my best friend.
Does that make me the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
hKKMRqVstLczKSL1aSgSAFCr3EVG1qZy
|
apxnge
|
{
"description": "helping ban cheaters from CS:go",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for helping ban cheaters from CS:GO
|
So shortly after I started playing CS:GO I met my first cheater in the game. Later he ACTUALLY contacted me and called me an asshole for ruining his fun. I know this post is BS but, I think most players will agree I'm on the bright side.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
iQowitXFIUSG3DYB1mP1ERXCCo3aMzaG
|
awldh8
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on a trip with my friend and his wife",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go on a trip with my friend and his wife?
|
First off, I hate the thought of being a third wheel but this friend of mine is my best friend so I tolerate it for him. We had been planning to go to an event in California during spring break but whenever anything about the subject is brought up, he just expects me to have the info ready for them. From the Air bnb, to the trip details, the tickets, what we're gonna eat. They just wanna give me the money and go. I feel like a travel agency and it has completely taken the fun out of this trip for me. I've been on trips with them before and its always the same thing. I end up being a glorified tour guide while they get to have all the fun. I just wish they'd have at least a little input. As much as it sucks, I'd be alright with being a third wheel if they just helped me plan the trip out even a little bit. I have talked to them about this, but they refuse to go look for themselves. The only response I get is "If you don't want to go, we understand" Thing is I DO want to go! I was super excited for this trip until they threw the whole thing on my shoulders. I'm tired of this trip already and its not supposed to happen for another two weeks. I'm pretty sure they know how I feel too but just don't want to do anything themselves. IDK
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
s7Vjv239VtNIVVZyldavkq3wC16v5mGR
|
ai58we
|
{
"description": "not being sappy enough",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being sappy enough?
|
My girlfriend is currently At work and is always messaging me "wyd", or, "hello? Are you there?". Every ten minutes while I'm with two of my friends at my house playing Smash Bros or something else. I always tell her the same thing when she asks these. "I'm with Blank and Blank playing Smash at my house. We haven't moved a muscle" or "Yeah om here but I'm with my friends so I'm a little distracted.
This has been going on for months and she has told me over and over again that my friends are no excuse to ignore her. I've told her that I'm not looking at my phone when I'm with my friends because we're doing involving stuff and I dont always have texting back while she's at work. If she was home I'd understand but she's at work and is supposed to be doing something.
Just ten minutes ago I get a call and her and her coworker are yelling at me telling me I'm a bad boyfriend for not texting things like "hey I'm with my friends right now but I'm thinking of you, you're the light of my life I love you!" every hour. Telling me that if I really loved her I wouldn't be hanging out with friends and I'd text back quickly.
So yeah. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
A4Zxd5r0I8yMrvIRI1HCLNKac6XoW6LI
|
atxbo9
|
{
"description": "not sharing money with my immediate family",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not sharing money with my immediate family?
|
I've recently come across a large sum of money. News spread out and a bunch of people, including friends and relatives I haven't talked to in years, have come out of the woodworks trying to get friendly with me. Obviously I don't care about them, but there are others, like my parents that had me under their roof until a few years ago, that want their part of the pie. I get I'm being a bit greedy, but I do not want to share a cent of this to anyone. They helped me out of their love for me, and I feel I shouldn't be morally obligated to feel like I owe them. I love them and will help if their financial situation gets tough, but that's not the case right now. Yet I'm being criticized by people around me for not even giving a cent to my parents. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
MVEf5nD68jDCnZyTup5uqRFXnB6B418G
|
9w8khy
|
{
"description": "ghosting my Family",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I Ghosted My Family?
|
I really just want my whole family to fuck off. I'm 15, so I know my opinion will change on this with time, but right now I really don't want to be near anyone in my family.
My mom has beaten me, cursed at me, threatened my life and livelihood, but still expects me to want to talk to her. A year and a half ago, I came home late from a track meet, so she locked me out the house and hit me with a broom several times when she finally decided to let me in. That was one incident that I consider tame compared to some of the other shit.
When she caught me masturbating last year to JLo in my room and saw my 9 year-old brother beating it a few days later (WHILE WE WERE ALL IN THE ROOM) she concluded that I was sexually abusing him and that I had brought "the spirit of fornication" into our shitty apartment. She then asked, no, STATED that I WAS FUCKING MY LITTLE BROTHER. I stood up and called her crazy and stupid for even thinking that, and she said I was being disrespectful.
I lost what little respect I had left for her then and there. Ironically, we went to a church sermon recently where the message was honoring your parents.
I wanted to love my brother (half-brother actually), but I can't and I won't. I see too much of his father in him. I remember only a few things about his dad:1. he's from Liberia, like our mom 2.I saw him in bed with my mom when I was little 3. I saw his dick in the bathroom once, and told the judge that I was gay (erroneously, if that matters at this point) during the custody battle bullshit with my mom 4. He's kidnapped my brother on multiple holidays 5. I saw him pull a gun on my mom when she drove to his house to take my brother back.
I'm not innocent in this whole thing. I've hit my brother and beaten him multiple times over the years (not one-sided, he often instigated these fights, but I was way out of line in my response). But it hurts too much to love him. I can't not think of his dad when I look at him.
I want nothing to do with my dad, either. He hasn't done nearly as much to me (or for me) as my mother, but he's too similar to me. I can't talk to him since he's so quiet. That, and I hate him for just abandoning me and my mom.
WIBTA if I just disappeared from all of their lives when I turn 18?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
sgy6XEwItqTEuW6oIM2hsFPo9AL1HrBt
|
arn1go
|
{
"description": "refusing to play the piano for my family",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to play the piano for my family?
|
Excuse any spelling/grammar errors since I’m using mobile.
Tl;dr Parents want me to play piano for their friends, I refuse feeling that I was being used.
Backstory: I have been playing the piano for upwards of 17 years now. I wouldn’t call myself a prodigy or even a professional but I’d still think I’m pretty good. I can play most songs by ear shortly after hearing them and I have played for a couple weddings for close family but thats about it. I hated doing recitals growing up and only did a couple because I had terrible stage fright.
For the past few years, during my families holiday celebration, my parents would coerce me into playing christmas songs on the piano for the guests. Usually telling me things like, everyone will enjoy it, or, it would make *insert relative* happy. My parents knew about my stage fright but would usually pass it off as me just being lazy and not wanting to perform. It would usually be one or two different christmas songs and then guests would start making requests for other types of songs. Even when I didn’t know the song, they would still pressure me by saying “You can play by ear, just listen to it a few times!” Most of these guests were friends of my parents and I didn’t usually know them too well so, because I wanted to be polite, I would play a few more songs and then slip away when everyone was talking. A couple years back I started to feel like I was being taken advantage of and that my parents didn’t respect my decision to not want to play. I started to feel that they only wanted me to play to brag to their friends.
Fast forward to last christmas, the same situation happened, except this time, there were about twice as many people as usual. My stage fright was higher than ever and after a couple songs, I couldn’t take it anymore and stepped outside in the middle of a song to take a breather and calm down. When my parents asked me why i stopped playing, I told them that I wouldn’t be playing for them again because I felt like I was being used. They started to call me selfish and tried to guilt trip me into playing again saying that they paid for the lessons but I refused and told them they would have to find another circus monkey to perform for them. They stormed off but I can tell that they are still pretty pissed off about it.
So AITA for wanting to play piano on my own terms and for my own enjoyment?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
hj0UPh2MHEyVCdNSA2wYWqUF8Jwv2fD7
|
awukit
|
{
"description": "not wearing a charity shirt given to me for a race",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I didn’t wear a charity shirt given to me for a race.
|
I’m running the NYC Half Marathon in a few weeks under a charity. The race has 20,000+ runners but sells out pretty quickly and once it’s sold out the other way to gain entry is through fundraising for a charity. I chose a charity I’m genuinely passionate about and hit my fundraising goal. The charity mailed out some shirts with the name of the charity and the charity team. While I really like the shirt, it’s a bit large for me and not something I’ve run enough in to know how it will feel in a race or effect me with things like chafing. I usually wear the same set of clothes for races because I’m accustomed to running in them and I’m trying to run a competitive time to potentially qualify for the NYC Marathon. WIBTA if I didn’t wear the shirt?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
DgPxXlKZs0Xi3EuhcfjjvD59vXfDSqow
|
ayxsrc
|
{
"description": "wanting to pay when my friend's family did not want us to pay",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA (my parents/me) for wanting to pay when my friend's family did not want us to pay?
|
This is a pretty light and funny situation, so don't think anyone in this thread is a bad person, but its technically a moral dilemma so yeah. Basically, my friend invited me over on a trip to Arizona with his family in June, which I thought was very fun. He told me all my costs would be covered, and I said I just needed to get my parent's permission. So I relayed the situation, and they were fine with me going, but they adamantly refused to let his family pay for anything. (Btw, for context, both of our families have the adequate resources to pay, so no one would be struggling). HIS parents then adamantly refused to let my parents pay, and it was a back and forth till we settled on them paying for the tour and my family paying for the flight. I can provide more INFO if need be, but who in this situation would you rank as "TA".
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
OdPEwPzrPxGT8jZr6h5Vem0Wja0Vdj6A
|
9vwj9y
|
{
"description": "thinking I'm not a racist",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for thinking I’m not a Racist?
|
Please don’t delete mod..
To begin I think an Am I Racist sub would be a good thing and how is racist jokes a sub????
What is YOUR definition of racism?
So I think I might be racist. Could you please tell me if I am?
I believe that blacks in general are better at basketball and football than all other whites. I’m cool with it. I’ve studied the stats. I’ve turned the TV on and can see with my own eyes but I feel dirty inside for thinking that way.
I have 3 beautiful half Korean kids.
I’ve said the N word in the past but not with any anger behind it. I’d compare my use of it to the way Chappelle uses it, because It sounds cool and makes me laugh. But then again who hasn’t said, “I’m Rick James bitch”! And God knows I don’t want to be rick James because He’s dead and I’m pretty sure if he were alive today and acted like he did back then the #metoo movement would be on his shit quick.
I’ve sung and continue to sing along to rap songs while driving including the N word with the lyricists with no guilt. But I’v enough respect to not write it out here 🤔
I believe that blacks and whites have the exact same opportunities today regardless of color. Equality of outcome or equality of opportunity?
I believe saying MAGA is not racist in any way. If a KKK member is wearing a MAGA hat over their hood screaming “N word die”, I should not be associated with him just because I have a MAGA hat. I’m sure the same could be said about a Malcolm X hat back in the early to mid 90s? Young kids are very impressionable.
I believe God before all others and thank God that Christianity is still very prevalent today in the black communities. I pray that that generation is dying out......is it? Any blacks from the south or elsewhere have an opinion on the youths involvement in Church???
I don’t understand why it’s cool to shit on white people and their “race” for being white because it’s something that they can’t control but it’s not ok vice versa? I personally think it’s NOT ok either way but that’s just my opinion.
Am I racist or an asshole or both.
Oxford:
1Prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.
Wikipedia
Racism is the belief in the superiority of one race over another, which often results in discrimination and prejudice towards people based on their race or ethnicity. As of the 2000s, the use of the term "racism" does not easily fall under a single definition.[1]
Definition of racism Merriam-Webster
1 : a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race
2a : a doctrine or political program based on the assumption of racism and designed to execute its principles
b : a political or social system founded on racism
3 : racial prejudice or discrimination
racism (rāˈsĭzˌəm)
n. The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.
n. Discrimination or prejudice based on race.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
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|
ayr2cn
|
{
"description": "not wanting my boyfriends family to buy us furniture",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my boyfriends family to buy us furniture?
|
My boyfriend and I just got our first apartment together. We move in one week and are only missing a couch, some dressers, and a bed. Our plan was to save for things we absolutely want and furnish our apartment gradually as we go along.
His mom offered to buy us a couch and his grandmother is persistent on us getting a bedroom set. I showed her the couch that I wanted and she wants me to change my mind. She showed us pictures of similar couches, but they’re not the same. She doesn’t like the couch I want because it’s a 3 seater and is $600. But it doubles as storage and pulls out as a bed. I also have ottomans for people to sit on. I don’t want a huge couch.
His grandma wants us to get a bedroom set while we just want a simple platform bed and some drawers.
I am so grateful that they want to help us. I know a lot of people don’t get offered this help when first moving into their own. But I have things that I’m certain on getting even before they offered to help us out. I can’t help but feel like I’m being rude
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
ar0j18
|
{
"description": "not letting my housemate watch her regular tv show",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not letting my housemate watch her regular TV show?
|
I live in a house share with 3 other people. Our shared kitchen/dining area/TV lounge are all in one room, so when the TV is on, it pretty much takes over the entire area.
My housemate, let’s call her Jane, is constantly watching TV, she gets home after work, and from 6pm to 10pm, is pretty much on the couch watching.
I have a tv in my room and she doesn’t, so I tend to only use the kitchen/dining area for cooking and eating and then usually go up to my room.
The other day, I had an especially rough day at work, so I got home, and nobody was there. I proceeded to start cooking my dinner, poured myself a glass of wine, and turned on the tv and set it to the music channel so I could cook while listening to some sweet chilled tunes.
At about 6:50pm Jane gets home, walks into the room, sees that I’m using the tv and gives me a ‘10 minute warning’ that her show is coming on soon.
I told her I don’t care if her show is coming on, I’m chilling out listening to music while I cook and the last thing I want to hear now after a rough day is the tv blaring with some crap from a show I have no interest in.
She loses her shit and tells me that ‘listening to music’ doesn’t count as using the tv and that her show is on every weeknight and she doesn’t want to miss and episode, and that I’ve got my own tv in my room and she doesn’t, so I’m being an asshole about it.
I didn’t back down and she stormed off to her room with an award winning grumpy face, and she has given me the cold shoulder for several days now.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
1zCg8pF5uXx4Z20ObUVWLLpKDDsQGMXx
|
acvsir
|
{
"description": "calling my wife out on her snappy/rude behaviour during her period",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for calling my wife out on her snappy/rude behaviour during her period?
|
Essentially I called my wife out for her constant snapping when on her period, not just to me but our toddlers, even when I am clearly going out of my way to pick up the household burden so she can rest.
I pointed out that such behaviour would be inexcusable in our wider society and if anyone spoke to a colleague or a customer in this way then they would be fired and menstruation would be no excuse. If it was towards a friend without apology they would not likely stick around for long.
I got called an uneducated misogynist. Am I the asshole for believing that it is one's own perogative to mitigate against negative emotions yourself rather than expect society to accommodate you?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
NxuVbkXpcqZFaZBwMDBwxprGSj0ravqL
|
afcoyz
|
{
"description": "not wanting to stay with family on my holiday",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to stay with family on my holiday?
|
I have planned a holiday later this year, which I had entirely planned to be going by myself. I had informed my family (I still live at home) of this around August last year, just go give them a heads-up. A little while after this, my mum tells me out of the blue that she and my younger brother will also be going on holiday in the same country as me, at the exact same time. At first it's no big deal, but this is proceeded by her asking me about my itinerary and whether or not I have booked accommodation yet.
She now wanted this to be a pseudo family holiday, with us three staying and doing things together.
I had always intended for this to be a solo holiday (it's just my preference) and if I had wanted to go with family I would have extended the invitation. I have bought this up with my mum, and she just retorts saying I'm being "mean", "why don't you want to spend time with us", "I never get to go on holiday with you". Honestly I do sort of see her point, but I see them every day, and this is supposed to be a getaway and break from everyday life. She also expects me to handle the accomodation for us three, as well as find things for us to do (pretty much plan the entire thing). I have told her that I am not opposed to seeing them whilst we are there, but not the entire time, and would prefer I stay by myself. This is compounded with me already having booked a majority of my accomodation, some of which cannot be altered without incurring a fee. She doesn't seem to have gotten the memo however, and up to now is still trying to discuss the trip.
AITA for having this mindset? Or if I'm well within my 'rights'?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
OjNlv9NfQBKs7a1VlcsVoDCFQqvvQqlk
|
aw6mew
|
{
"description": "telling my mom to find somewhere else to live",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my mom to find somewhere else to live.
|
Some background information is needed. My parents are divorced and have been since I was about 10 years old (I’m 21 and I’m the youngest of my family). I have an older half-brother (from my moms side) and two older sisters. When my parents got a divorce my brother went with my mother. I’m not sure the reason because I was a kid and haven’t really heard a solid story as to why. My mom isn’t well off. She definitely has some mental issues, but can live “normally”. My brother, on the other hand, can’t. He’s 27 and he is on the spectrum. He also has depression, anger issues, and possibly bi-polar. He lives with my mom and works from time to time, but is also i the hospital a lot. He mostly lives off my mom. Me and my sisters live with my dad, who has family money and a good paying job. Me and my two sisters are in college paid for by my dad and his inheritance. My two sisters are on their last year and one lives with my dad because her school is 20 minutes away from his house.
Now for the YTA/NTA part.
My mom has trouble finding places to live and often gets kicked out of those places for good reason. When she does, she often asks my dad to come live at his place for a couple weeks to get back on her feet. She ends up staying well over the duration she gives at the start.
My siblings and I would have no problem letting her stay if she was out by when she said she would be. We wouldn’t mind if she stayed longer because not everything works out when you think it will. I get that, but she has been doing this on and off for the past 5 years. She’ll find a place, my brother will go into the hospital, she gets kicked out, then asks to stay at my dads place.
My dad is not the strongest person when it comes to saying no. My mom sometimes makes him feel guilty. My will say yes and then he will force us (now just my sister staying with him) to stay home all the time and “watch” my mom cause he’s paranoid and thinks she steals from him. He has cameras up all over the house. When she finally find a place to live and leaves he’ll complain that something’s missing and that she stole it until my siblings or I yell at him to stop because we don’t care anymore.
She is asking again and this time it is just my sister at home who has to take care of two huskies, her last semester of college, and basically everything around the house because my dad is a recluse and barely come out of his room anymore. She can’t stay all the time to “watch” mom for him. She wants people to come over and hangout but doesn’t feel comfortable with my mom around.
There is a whole lot more that would make you understand better, but I don’t think reddit wants to hear my dark, sad childhood.
Anyway, AITA for standing with my sister and telling my mom she has to find another place to stay or go to a homeless shelter?
(I’m reposting with proper character count. I apologize to the people who already commented.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
kHh2OxKdUJmaf361KPyCzYGXCZry9q9l
|
ax05i8
|
{
"description": "ending a friendship because he wouldn't just let me vent and listen",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ending a friendship because he wouldn’t just let me vent and listen?
|
I have/had a friend(F) and we share a mutual friend(MF) MF and I had an argument over something trivial that we both escalated to a ridiculous level. MF is my roommate and say he’s just leaving for the night. Now I’m upset and alone and I wanted to talk about it. So I texted F what happened and he responds with, “why are you dragging me into it?”
Now F and MF have had arguments and fights before and F calls me about it every time and I sit and listen. That’s all I was asking for. I responded, “dude get off your high horse. I’m texting you for the same reason you do when the roles are reversed.”
That was the final straw for me with F. He has a pattern of “superior” behavior when he feels like he has his shit more together than us. But when he stumbles we’ve always been there. That’s all I needed was to be heard and vent and he couldn’t do that for me.
Am I the asshole for washing my hands of him and making sure he can’t contact me? I blocked him from everything.
Let me know if you need more info
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
713URZ0edQglaaay9b0Nbwf7Oxd80qLp
|
axhdd5
|
{
"description": "calling my friends gf a coke addict after being told she did cocaine",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for calling my friends gf a coke addict after being told she did cocaine
|
Alright here goes,
I’m in high school, recently one of my good friends (Jack, 16) started dating a new girl (Karen, 15) who he then added to a group text with 11 other mutual friends.
They immediately start talking about drug use, initially just vaping and smoking weed which isn’t a foreign concept to any of us. Eventually his girl “Karen” starts talking about cocaine and how much of a rush it is. Naturally that raised some eyebrows and I asked “are you joking right now? I can’t tell” and she assured me she was serious.
I asked Jack if she was kidding and he backed her up and said they’d both done some lines. I said that that wasn’t a great idea and they should probably stop, which caused him to get angry and tell me that I need to respect other peoples decisions because they weren’t doing anything wrong.
I told them there’s a lot wrong with doing coke in high school. I was pretty fed up at this point and after some back and forth said “ok then have fun with your coke addict gf”. Jack got really angry and said they were joking the whole time and demanded an apology, which I refused.
I told him that I stand by what I said and I’m glad that none of it was true. My friend “Laura” defended my position and said I was just concerned about him doing those types of drugs and “Karen” told her to “fuck off and stop being a bitch”
I further said that I wouldn’t apologize because all I had done was believed what he’d told me. Jack told me that he wasn’t surprised one of our mutual friends had cut me off weeks before and everyone has an issue with me, adding that I should “fuck off”. Eventually things died down, jack apologized, but there’s still some tension.
TLDR: my friend (16) and his gf (15) lied and told me they were doing drugs like cocaine and acid, and got extremely angry when me and several mutual friends said it was wrong.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
xMLC3FvBEWvuBXywSAqAMuJoHNuExSaj
|
b2w4mm
|
{
"description": "getting tired of driving my friends home after going out",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting tired of driving my friends home after going out?
|
I live the furthest from town out of all my friends so generally like to drive myself around to get to places as public transport takes twice as long. Going the fastest route will get me home after a night out in about 40 mins.
Now, a lot of my friends kind of live on the way home....only if I drive another route and not the fastest route for me. If I choose to give 1-2 a lift home, this will add maybe 20-30 mins to my journey home (as I’m not going the fastest way home). I honestly do not mind this at all.
However, it’s when 3 or 4 friends want a lift home too, this will easily add another 15 mins per person, meaning it will add another 1hr to my commute so it takes me 1hr 45 mins instead of just 40 mins or so.
AITA?
It makes me not want to go out and meet up with my friends because I don’t want to catch public transport back home (long commute), but I also don’t want a long commute having to drive all my friends home. (You can’t exactly say “I will drop only 2 people home, but the other 2 I won’t”). I’ve thought about dropping all my friends at a more closer area to their home so they can catch the cab home (and at a location that’s on the way home for me), but then if it’s late at night, I feel bad I might be putting them in a risky situation.
I just feel burdened by people always wanting a lift home.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0yrNeJh6ynaqBEx7d1DbJIIGGg3Nhpgj
|
9v4k00
|
{
"description": "yelling at autistic girl to stop touching me",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for yelling at autistic girl to stop touching me
|
I have an autistic girl in my school who is kind of my friend but not quite. She sits near me at lunch and next to me in one of my classes.
I wouldn’t say I’m extremely nice to her but I wouldn’t say I’m straight up mean to her.
She doesn’t have many other friends and a lot of people give her dirty looks.
She is always asking to borrow a pencil, or an eraser, or a pencil sharpener even though she has one. Often grabbing mine if it is between us. Not even asking just taking it and rolling it around in her hands. She won’t give it back until I ask her to.
Today while I was walking with my friends she walked up to me and started talking, interrupting our conversation. She started brushing up against me — I really hate being touch — I talked to her and them but was kind of ignoring her she kept walking with us and kept saying my name and when I turned to her she was holding one of the draw strings to my hoodie. She didn’t ask, Didn’t say anything just took it. Just was holding it. I didn’t even notice she was touching me.
I freaked out grabbing it and told her to stop touching me. I hate hugs, physical contact in general, and really really hate it when people get to close.
She then kind of walked away, to her group of friends.
I feel Bad but I really really hate touching other people in general. I think I made her sad.
TLDR: freaked out when girl started playing with the draw strings of the hoodie I was wearing.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
zNfnUkKcjpwV5AQ3Qu7iI37uvT9dHKez
|
a4j9ky
|
{
"description": "wanting sexual attention from my long distance girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting sexual attention from my long distance girlfriend?
|
Backstory for context: My girlfriend and I met in college, and she is slightly older than me and has already graduated a year and a half ago, I’m still in college. She had to move a couple of hours away for work, and we agreed to try long distance. Cut to today, and we’ve been dating over two years. We see eachother maybe once a month, so for the rest of the month it’s a little lonely. I (as many other men in their early 20s) get in a sexual mood more than once a month, and try and get my girlfriend to sext with me. However, most attempts end up with her being busy or just flat out not wanting to do it at all. Her reasons are either that she doesn’t enjoy taking pictures of herself or that she isn’t good at talking dirty. I’ve voiced my concerns to her before and she said she’d try and work on it, with no results. So, AITA for not being satisfied with once a month sex and maybe once a month halfhearted sexting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4blJZyQpGIvp12swkI8ig4m1SRjpUfoN
|
ayq444
|
{
"description": "breaking up over a lack of a sex life",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for breaking up over a lack of a sex life
|
Im not sure how to talk about this so imma just jump in. So my GF (21) and I (23) have been dating for 2+ years now. Im am her first long term relationship. After about 6 months of being abstinent, we attempted to have sex for the first time. Long story short she couldn't get comfortable and we just went to bed. She went to her doctor a couple weeks later and they established something was going on down there for her. Not sure if a uti, or a yeast infection, or what as shes gone through multiple attempts to fix it but its yet to go away.
Since then, we've tried a few more times but the same thing. She can never get comfortable with me inside her, and after about 10 seconds shell just tighten up to where it fucking hurts. So we just call it quits. Recently (~6 months) we haven't really tried again, mostly because I feel kind of defeated and tbh knowing your gf cant get sexually comfortable with you being in her sucks ass. Plus I'm always the one who initiates any sexual acts, she very rarely is the initiator. And it's not because I'm too big, trust I watch a lot of porn and I know I'm on the bottom of that call list for good camera looking dicks. So really for the past 2 years we've been getting by with blowjobs and fingering. Which I am cool with, and told her I'm cool with as long as we're actively working towards bettering our sex life/finding out what's wrong.
But about 4 months ago she was diagnosed with depression/anxiety so we've been dealing with that and recently shes been getting much better. But even since she was diagnosed, the blowjobs I get have practically zeroed out. The only time we do anything is after I ask her a couple times, not one after another but once on Sunday, again on Wednesday, then again on Saturday (i ALAWAYS have to ask and shes NEVER offers to do it but that's another conversation) and then if she does do it, its preceded by complaining about all I care about is getting off and dont care for her, which half the time makes me change my mind and just decided to go to the bathroom and get myself off.
And yeah thats about it. Recently I've been debating about breaking up with her as I've yet to have sex with anyone for about 6 years and am tired of waiting and feeling bad about asking for sexual favors. Tbh when I think about sex with her, it just makes me sad now because of all the failures that we've had, that it makes the prospect of a future with sex still seem lowkey not as great as I first thought when we started dating. What happens when shit is fixed? Am I going to spend the rest of my life asking to have sex or a blowjob or anything? And I'm not saying asking for consent sucks, because I always do and shit i want to try out later on requires trust and consent, but rather having to go and ask my gf if we can do sexual stuff together every single time and never being asked/initiated on sucks ass.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 18,
"INFO": 3
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
TQ2vrVbG2dmX5617pXAKEbnHM1VFuOEo
|
9xecic
|
{
"description": "not wanting my best friend to get a motocycle",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my best friend to get a motocycle?
|
So my best friend wants to buy a motocycle. According to him, he wants to get one to "live his life". It would make him cool, he would get to go on joyrides, ect.
I don't like motorcycles. Ever since we took a full day in driver's ed to talk about motocycle safety and knowing a family friend who's son got seriously injured in a motocycle accident, I've found them extremely unsafe and unnecessary. I don't want my friend to get one because it's an unnecessary risk. He's even admitted he has a tendency to be tempted to race in cars, and on a motocycle, there's a much greater risk of getting injured or possibly dying.
I love my friend, he's the best friend I've ever had and I don't want to see him get hurt doing something reckless. But I feel like I'm such an asshole for not wanting him to do this if it would make him happy.
Keep in mind I'm not actively trying to stop him from getting one, and it's not even a for sure thing, but I just feel so conflicted mentally.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
MSmLStmeRW8T3vt79UDZLUks8kDqRthn
|
awzuvd
|
{
"description": "photoshopping the hair of one of my wife's bridesmaids to a natural color...from the iridescent blue that she decided to RANDOMLY show up with for our wedding",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 21
}
|
AITA for photoshopping the hair of one of my wife’s bridesmaids to a natural color...from the iridescent blue that she decided to RANDOMLY show up with for our wedding?
|
Over 600 pics...it was fun. 🤦🏻♂️
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 31,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 21
}
|
RIGHT
|
j2fzrMlfi4aoTKKTeho8dO6OzdCY5M8x
|
a1ikvn
|
{
"description": "throwing away my roommate's orange",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for throwing away my roommate's orange?
|
Okay, I know that sounds really dumb but hear me out.
So, my roommate thinks she's funny, but honestly, she's just fucking weird. A few weeks ago, she thought that it was an incredibly funny thing to paint a face on an orange and name him Shrek. She built him a little house out of a cardboard box and set him up in the bathroom. I was fine with this, she's done weirder things.
We are in college so last week we went home for Thanksgiving break. Shrek the orange was left in the bathroom in his box. On Saturday, I came back to our apartment and Shrek was noticeably moldy. I picked him up and he was squishy, so I threw him away. I didn't think anything of this at the time.
However, when my roommate got back, she was very upset that I had thrown away "her son" without letting her know. At first I thought she was joking, but she's actually mad at me, and any time I try to talk to her she just leaves the room. I tried to explain that he was moldy, but she's upset because he was hers. I guess I didn't realize how important that orange was to her.
So, AITA??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
hNo8mnmnSIHKJF0wkZXrYSdRF7UyDH7H
|
b0a2qh
| null |
AITA-Husband hates his job, but unwilling to leave due to fear of being let go from another one.
|
My husband hates his job, but he’s the most experienced out of anyone there. He is a supervisor over a small team of 3 and he believes he is the fastest and best out of all of them, but one part timer is getting paid more than him and he’s upset about that. He’s also upset he hasn’t been heard about getting a raise by his boss and he hates having to do manager duties for less pay than a manager. He tried to leave once before to go to a competitor, and was let go about 5 months in for some crazy one-off reason. I agree that’s not okay, but am I the asshole for thinking he should get over it and move on to try to find a new job? I’m constantly frustrated he’s not listening to my suggestions-am I being unreasonable?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
DdHRkKA7rqB1CEbxl77a1xjF821Z9Kno
|
ap3pt8
|
{
"description": "wanting a Sunday off my gf",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AItA for wanting a Sunday off my GF?
|
Hi guys, I am a lurker here from a couple of months and I would have never thought of writing here. Long story coming.
I have a GF, both of us are 25 yo, usually we see each other 3 evenings during the week, saturday evening we sleep together and all the day during the Sunday. She basically does not have any interest other than seeing me and she see her friends very rarely, like maybe once every month or 2 because at least one of them always something else to do. I took up again MTG the card game a year ago. I played at first with a friend of mine casually then contacted other 2 old friends that also played and we started to do it more "seriously". I am not traveling to do the world championship or anything but if there is an event nearby we sometimes (rarely actually) think to attend it. We actually did 2 times.
Now the thing is that I work Monday-saturday. His event are at Sunday. There other 2 times that I played my GF made me clear that she was upset because she want to spend the Sunday together.
In fact the first time we started in a small shop and the event ended at 14.00, at that point I hate an hamburger and went straight to her.
The second time it was a bigger event so i was eliminated around 17.30/18 at that point once again I went to her (she was with her family) and spent the rest of the evening with her family and then alone with her.
Now I want to participate at another event like this and I took the saturday off work to stay with her to "compensate". Now she is super mad that I want to participate, she says that I should spend every Sunday with her, that if I go I won't be one of her priority anymore.
She says that I already see them one evening every week so that should be enough and I should spend the rest of the time with her.
I tried to like meet each other in a middle ground like I will do this only once every 2 months at max, I will ask more saturday off work to spend some weekend just with her somewhere.
Nothing she was super mad, started to cry saying that she might agree to something like 2 events per year and that it was still too much.
Am I the asshole for wanting to participate at this events with my friend leaving her alone?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mlbH6X7vKctAYU91lIGRquwuoviJXfKt
|
ba7ud3
|
{
"description": "expecting my daughter to be the best at something",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 79
}
|
AITA for expecting my daughter to be the best at something?
|
My daughter, let's call her Ellie, is 15. And it bothers me and my wife that she really isn't *into* anything. Her grades are average, and on top of that she does nothing at home aside from watching Netflix and being on her phone. She's not involved in anything, inside or outside school: no sports, clubs, art, music, anything. And my husband and I want her to be the best, or at least good, at something. The what doesn't really matter- it could be playing a sport, painting, debate, playing in instrument, math competition, writing, whatever. But we want her to be good at something, because currently she's basically aimless and has no hobbies other than tv and her phone. And we don't like that.
We've been introducing her to everything we can- a bunch of sports, art stuff, instruments, etc. But she doesn't want to do anything and called us 'controlling'. I see my husband and I as the opposite. I'm not saying, 'you have to play tennis, like me', 'I was in the orchestra, you have to be in it too', or anything like that. We're letting her essentially choose whatever she wants to do, as long as she *does* something and is good at it. Because doing nothing isn't acceptable to us.
Aita?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 77,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 5
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 79
}
|
WRONG
|
E6SIfmL1mJ54EpHXJxRe65Izgfu3hjvB
|
a2xfk7
|
{
"description": "asking my 12-year-old daughter to cover herself up more when she's in the house",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 43
}
|
AITA for asking my 12-year-old daughter to cover herself up more when she’s in the house?
|
As I said my daughter is 12, which means puberty. Her body is changing. Had to do the bra shopping and all of that.
Anyway, we keep our house really warm. She has a habit of walking around in just a tank top and underwear. Sometimes she just hangs around in a towel for hours after showering instead of getting dressed.
It’s not a huge deal but I suggested to her that she should really start using her robe if she doesn’t want to put something on. She asked why and I said it’s not entirely appropriate to walk around half-dressed in front of her father now that she’s a young woman.
I am very direct when speaking and I think her feelings may have been hurt. My husband ended up walking in on the conversation and asked why she was pouty. She told him and he just looked at me and rolled his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. I brought it up with him later and he was just like “can we talk about something else?” Clearly he didn’t want to have the conversation so I dropped it with him. As for my daughter, she’s been fairly quiet today, which is unusual for her.
Was I wrong to say something to her about this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 41,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 43
}
|
WRONG
|
b5xL7VK3BPYnIVxXrKjeoEL6oNddDdi8
|
a75yk7
|
{
"description": "ending a long friendship over possibly taking advantage of me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ending a long friendship over possibly taking advantage of me?
|
I've been friends with X since I was in highschool, and now we're both well into our twenties. We've always had some common ground with video games, computers and smoking weed together. X always did have an appetite for weed, smoking whatever you put in front of them and always yearning for more.
In the past few years I've taken up growing weed, both as a career and a hobby. Now, X really likes this because that means he has access to what I'd consider top shelf cannabis, and at an extremely reasonable rate to what he's used to.
In the past year or two we've become better friends and I trusted him enough to housesit for our pets and my several plants while my SO and I went on a 5 day vacation. I paid X in weed and they were happy. We came home and all seemed well.
We went away again recently for a long weekend and X was happy to housesit in exchange for more weed, to which I accepted because then I don't have to pay out of pocket (we don't have a lot of money and are trying to save). X asks if I can pay him in advance so he has something to smoke while I'm gone, and I have no issue with it. I tell him "there's beer in the fridge and a grinder with weed in it for the weekend, enjoy!"
We come back from our trip and notice that our pets litter boxes aren't cleaned as well as we had agreed upon, and that some of them don't have water and very little food. Now, we don't know how long that went on. The sink is stained with black residue from cleaning out a filthy smoking piece, which irks me, but whatever. My SO is upset because the one litter box is very dirty and that just isn't what we agreed on or what we 'paid' for. My SO wants to indulge in some weed and go to bed, and we can't find some of our pieces. Turns out they were in the freezer because X is notorious for trying to scrape them clean for whatever kief/crumbs they can. I go to get weed from a jar and it's empty. I'm 99.9% sure I left a sizable amount in there before we left, and X would have known it was there. I assume they smoked it all and I'm peeved at this point. I look at my personal stash and find that X has dove into that as well, without permission or a heads up.
I confront X about this and they admit to taking some of personal stash, but won't admit to clearing out the other jar. I tell X I'm not comfortable with having them around anymore and that I wish them all the best and he thinks it's a harsh treatment but respects it if that's what I choose.
It feels like the relationship is one sided, with me giving X unfiltered access to inexpensive, quality cannabis and always having a place they can come eat a warm meal and smoke to their delight. Maybe I enabled them? I'm torn.
AITA for ending the relationship because they possibly got too comfortable and took some of my things without permission?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ABLtzUv1oWejFaCiAM66EtKZcAjlskAK
|
b36iv2
|
{
"description": "riding my bicycle around and blasting music",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 21
}
|
AITA for riding my bicycle around and blasting music?
|
So every once in a while (2-3 times a week) i like to ride my bike around my neighborhood. It is not a gated community or anything just a normal neighborhood. When i do this i always bring my backpack and put my JBL Flip 4 speaker into the little cup holder thingy on the side of the backpack. I then turn it all the way up and ride around town blasting rap music. I wouldn't say it's obnoxiously loud but if you were on your driveway and i rode by you would definitely hear it. But it's definitely not like the entire neighborhood can hear my music. I also never do this past dark.
The main reason i do this is because i want to listen to music and if i use earbuds i can't hear cars coming behind me at all but when i do this i can definitely hear cara a lot more and i feel more safe. Of course i don't have to turn it all the way up to hear it but i like to have it pretty loud so i can get turnt up lol.
Anyway the other day my neighbor told me to stop blasting my shitty music so i flipped him off and kept riding. I know i'm probably an asshole for that but i'm mostly wondering if i am an asshole for what he was complaining about, blasting my music? So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 20,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 21
}
|
WRONG
|
O6TKLPRjyIC3Z5Sbaq2fn4STAMJfEr8j
|
9t5nhh
|
{
"description": "turning away restaurant guests after closing",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for turning away restaurant guests after closing?
|
I work as a host at a restaurant in an area affected by Hurricane Michael. There’s a curfew on the area, which causes businesses to close early so that their employees can get home before the curfew goes into effect.
About an hour ago, someone called to ask if we were still open. We were actually just about to close, but because the people on the phone said they were only five minutes away, the manager they could come on in and then we’d be done.
Fast-forward about ten minutes. It’s been a slow night all around, and there’s no sign of the folks who called to ask if we’re open. Someone else calls to ask if we’re still open, and my boss says to go ahead and close for the night, then wanders off to handle managerial matters. I tell the person on the phone that we’re closed, then start to wait for our remaining guests to leave so I can do my closing work.
Another ten minutes went by, and the people that called twenty minutes prior arrived. I told them that, unfortunately, we were closed for the night and explained that we had to give our employees time to get home before curfew. They were upset because they were told they could come in, but didn’t try to contest me once I re-iterated that we were closed. I felt bad about it, but I didn’t want to catch hell from my boss for seating someone after closing.
Contrary to my fears, my manager instead chewed me out for turning them away. I explained that I was only doing as she said, and that they arrived a whole fifteen minutes later than what they told us. She understood, but told me that I ought to use better judgement, and that now she’s going to catch hell for telling guests to come in only for them to be turned away upon arrival. She claims I should have seated them because they called ahead.
Am I the asshole for turning them away? Obviously it would have been better to seat them, but hindsight is 20-20. With the information I had, should I have done differently?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yYcCEjLeMXPa6vyJTtv5ey0oYE9hrJQV
|
b4pquc
|
{
"description": "making the debt collection office go after my friends",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I make the debt collection office go after my friends?
|
Two months back I bought something for my friends because we used it together. We agreed (I have it on paper) to split equally. Most of them paid on time (I gave 20 days), but now I'm still missing 3\*65$ after repeatedly telling them to pay. They always say they want to pay in cash, but according to my countries law if you owe someone money it's your responsibility to get it to them, and that is currently just not possible for them. I basically accept anything, they could pay in fucking crypto or WoW tokens for all I care, but they don't. Now I'm thinking of giving them a last chance to pay (15 days, adding a fee of 3.25$ each (legal maximum) to show I'm serious and if they don't pay in time I'd send the debt collection office after them (would be fucked because that gets published and is visible for the next 5 years (bye bye loans), but I'm not willing to wait forever. WIBTA if I do this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
WE3TKbJLVD8VtftCi0dCtyebgMvr4uxD
|
aw21r5
|
{
"description": "fat shaming a girl who called me ugly",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for fat shaming a girl who called me ugly?
|
m a 14yo girl and i live in the UK. I'm in year 10 at school (grade 9?) and im going to a school i just moved to at the start of the year.
When i first came to school for the first day around 6 months ago i met this girl - lets call her Jess - and she was my first "friend" at school. I say "friend" because like most friendships it stared out nice.
She used to compliment me alot but slowly she complimented me less - Now, I'm not an egomaniac that is obsessed with people constantly praising me, I wasn't bothered by her not complimenting me I just thought we might be drifting apart. I tried my best to reconnect with her and make an effort but she was cold and distant went i talked to her. I shrugged it off and just boiled it down to her just hanging around different people.
At the time this was all happening we had a mutual friend - Harriet - who i had gotten closer to over a few months. Harriet was Jess's best friend so she would tell her all her secrets - including mine. One day, Harriet told Jess that i had got off with Jess's friend's cousin - Jess's friend will be called Katie - and we made it very clear that she COULDN'T tell anyone ESPECIALLY not Katie. The first thing she does is tell Katie which is where this started.
Jess started to stay nasty things to me at random and pass it off as a joke. She'd say things like "you're just funny looking" "your teeth are really bad". I told her that my teeth were my biggest insecurity and she proceeded to pick on it. She did this thing where she would say she didn't like something about her self - say her teeth in this instance - and encourage people to say things like "well at least you dont have teeth like her" or picking on me for my ethnicity which im understandably quite sensitive about (I have some Japanese heritage).
She would do this for weeks without any retaliation. She would say things like "you're clapped" "I can't even see your eyes".I confided in my other friends about it. Some of them even said they had had similar experiences with her.
This pushed me to my limit and yesterday it all came to ahead. Jess is insecure about her weight - I.Dont.Think.She.Is.Fat. - and she constantly talks about loosing weight and going to the gym etc. I approached her and said "I'm jealous of your eyebrows." she then retorted back at me "I'm not jealous of anything on you" OK then.
"If i were you i'd be jealous of my weight."
She then grabbed my water out of my hand and drenched me then ran off and started telling everyone i called her fat and what a terrible person i am.
I needed to say something back or I think i would have lost my shit.
So... Am i the asshole?
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ai94iq
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{
"description": "not working for less than 50 usd for a logo for a corner shop restaurant",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not working for less than 50 USD for a logo for a corner shop restaurant?
|
My Friend forwarded me this guy, lets call him "DeLorean" to help him with a logo design. And this is the convo that took place. (DeLorean is in white speech bubbles)
https://imgur.com/a/QC7zzVb
AITA here or is this an example of a choosing beggar?
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HISTORICAL
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a70yyp
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{
"description": "dropping a like on my female friend's fb photo in which she was in a bikini",
"pronormative_score": 48,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for dropping a like on my female friend's fb photo in which she was in a bikini
|
My girfriend called this act "minor cheating"
​
Some background info:
I have a female friend who I know since a long time, and we meet occasionally (like once every 1,5 months). We are good friends, and we never had any attraction towards each other, we literally told one another that we don't want anything more than this from each other. When we hang out, we watch a movie, eat a hamburger, drink a beer, and chit-chat about everything that happened to us lately.
Me and my friend usually like each others posts on facebook. There was an occasion when she was travelling abroad with another friend of hers, and she posted a photo of her being alone sitting in the beach in a bikini. I dropped a like on that picture (I also like other pictures of her, not just this one) and that was, apparently, something I shouldn't have done, and it's a form of cheating on her, according to my SO. In her mind, me dropping a like on that picture means that I like her, I'm physically attracted to her, and that is how I show it.
So my girlfriend's POW is that there is no such thing as a "female friend", one person from such a relationship is bound to have more feelings for the other and this will end up with me being a cheater.
I feel this is unfair from her side, but let's see if I'm the asshole her, or not.
​
I tried to be brief, but if you want some additional info, feel free to ask, I'm happy to explain more details.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b11l1w
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{
"description": "asking my girlfriend to be less dependent on me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my girlfriend to be less dependent on me?
|
I wouldn't actually word it that way.
My girlfriend is anxious about her undergraduate dissertation and her body. Ive helped her a lot with editing her diss, but every day shell text me 5-10 times how stressed she is about it, and every time I ask how I can help she says 'I dont know.' Every time she says shes stressed it stresses me out. Ive said I wanna help but that she should be more specific about her needs. I frequently give every tip I can to help her manage her stress, but it feels like it goes in one ear and out the other.
She has trouble focusing and I sympathise, but its tiring when Im working with her on her diss and she says 'we need to fix this part' and I say 'ok whats wrong with it?' and she just says 'ugh I dont know'. The only thing that really eases her stress is when I completely take over and do huge chunks of work. But there have been times where Ill edit a bunch of her work and shell read over it say 'ugh this is such shit...sorry I mean the part I wrote, not what you did.' Today while working she started hitting and pinching herself. I stopped her. She wasnt out of control or anything but it was sad and scary.
Shes always had poor body image but its flaring up. She calls herself fat at least 10 times a day. she equates it with ugly, and I think shes perfect and has a warped view of herself. She goes to therapy every 2-3 weeks but the guy said 'youre not fat at all but you're not dangerously thin either', and I think a professional should know better than to say that to a person who aims to be extremely thin. She's asked me for meal plans and if she should get liposuction. I feel hurt and uncomfortable because I don't want to feed into her negative thoughts.
I frequently need to validate her. She talks about being hungry but says 'I already had two pieces of bread today, I can't have any more than that.' I feel all I can say is 'of course you can have more bread' because I believe that. She calls herself stupid, dumb, fat, needy, annoying, boring often. She's none of those things in my eyes and I tell her but it doesn't seem to help. I love her so much but this is exhausting. My mental health has taken a backseat in the relationship and my own head. (I know its normal to put others first at times and that relationships aren't always 'even', but I'm worried this is unhealthy).
I want to be there for her but I also dont think this is healthy. She seems happy as long as I'm doing her work for her, but it's hers to do. She keeps saying hat she needs to stop using me as her dumping ground and I've said I want to be there for her but I'm concerned by the amount of negative things she says. I suggest journaling but I don't think she has. She says all of this will end once she hands in her dissertation in a few weeks but I'm not sure if I should stick it out or confront her.
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b7ca0u
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{
"description": "not visiting my long distance girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not visiting my long distance Girlfriend?
|
My GF (20F) and I (22M) have been together for about 3 years. We have been playing the long distance game for about a year now, as she moved about 3 hours drive to the city to be with her family, while I stayed due mainly to work as well as my family being here.
At the moment she is searching for work after being made redundant, but has been unemployed for nearly 2 months now. I have been working full time, as well as working a 2nd job part time a few nights a week to get ahead on my finances. My life at the moment is basically stretched between work and sport, while hers has been netflix and helping around the house while her family work. However I have been trying my best to visit, and over the last few months have been visiting fortnightly to every 3 weeks or so, while due to her financial situation she's only come down a couple times, one of which was she hitched a ride with a family member who was coming down to visit some family friends, but only stayed the night. I understand her lack of visits due to her finances, but I have offered quite a few times to pay for fuel so she can come and visit, which she declines because she doesn't want to take my money.
She is coming back to my town for 3 weeks to be paid to housesit for a family friend of hers, which is only feasible due to her lack of work. We will ideally be spending a fair bit of time together while she is in town, but she is only coming for the housesitting job, she wouldn't of come otherwise.
The last time I went to visit was 2 weekends ago, when I was in the city for a work function, which she was my +1 for. I haven't visited since as I knew she was coming to my town anyway, and I plan to make the most of having her around so I thought I would use the weekends before to get stuff done. I have a big family holiday coming up in the start of May, and so am preparing for that, while also trying to actually take time out on my weekends to play sport, help out around the house (recently helped my dad with a paving job at home) and just bum around, stuff I can't do when I'm visiting my GF. It's a bitch driving 3 hours there and 3 back, and is generally quite an expensive weekend factoring in fuel, meals and entertainment.
Last night we had an argument about how over the 2 month period between March and April I will only spend 1 weekend at hers, while she is going to be spending 3 weeks in my town. I told her that's a bit unfair as she will be coming down so I don't have a reason to drive to her house, but she told me that she just doesn't think I visit enough. I told her she needs to understand I have a life outside of our relationship, and that due to her work situation she is able to get things done during the week, while anything I want to do outside of work is generally reserved for weekends because I simply don't have the time. She just replied with "whatever, night" and ended our phone call.
Reddit, AITA for not visitng?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a6oass
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{
"description": "not messaging the dog sitter",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not messaging the dog sitter
|
Long back story
My puppy Attila is a 6 month old is a great Dane x bull mastiff x ridge back. 25 kg at the moment. We live in an apartment but he is taken to the dog park twice a day for at least an hour and after that just likes to sleep and cuddle. If he isn't taken out then he starts chewing things, being a puppy and all.
So last week we had him booked in with a pet sitter for a night. Let's call him Jeff. Jeff also lives in an apartment but said he had greyhounds before so understood big dogs in apartments. Dropped the puppy off and Jeff seemed nice. But had left some cat food out so Attila ate that... I messaged Jeff in the app with my phone number a while after and asked I'f everything was okay. Never heard anything back.
The next day, I had said I would pick the puppy up around midday. So I messaged at 12 saying I would be around at 12:45 if that was fine. Heard nothing until 12:50 when Jeff said "sorry come now".
So I drove across and knock on the door but there was no one there and no dog. Waited outside for a bit then Jeff comes down the street with Attila. It was 30 degrees outside so that's not the best conditions to be walking a large puppy. When we go up stairs to get the dogs things he pulls a key out from behind a pipe, weird to show a stranger where the spare key is.
I ask Jeff if he can do this weekend as well as I needed to go interstate for family. But that I was leaving at 7am so could I drop the dog off at 5am or I would book the day before and drop him off in the night. I was told no the morning is fine.
So I book this weekend, ask Jeff again if 5am is okay and am told it's fine.
Friday morning comes around and I drop attila off. At the airport I realise I forgot to pack a breakfast for Friday. So I message Jeff and ask him to give him his dinner kibble for breakfast as he has extra pasta and veggies packed for dinner, along with his treats and pig ears. Never hear back.
For the rest of the weekend I don't hear anything until today. When Jeff springs on me that he is going to a birthday party so he will leave a key under the mat. This annoyed me cause he didn't mention this to me before and I was under the impression he would be with the puppy. Jeff also tells me that he has gotten some more dog food that he gave to attila. Now usually if you suddenly give a dog a different kibble it can make them sick. I didn'tmessage back since I was pretty annoyed.
My flight was delayed so I was back an hour later. I get to the apartment and there's no key under the mat. So I figure Jeff must be home. I knock on the door but get nothing but puppy barks. So I guess it was lucky I saw where the pipe key was so I could get in.
In the apartment there is no water in the dog bowl and heaps of shit laying around like underwear. Perfect for a puppy to eat. So I'm pretty pissed off. I don't send a message i just take my puppy home to give him some love, I figure I will message him tomorrow.
An hour later I get a message saying how unfair it was because Jeff left the party early since I hadn't messaged him. Basically I wrote back saying he could have tried to contact me before leaving and that I won't book him again.
Then the messages come flooding in saying how Jeff has done so much for this dog. That he sent me so many pictures. Jeff then tells me attila has peed on Jeff's bed and destroyed so many things. That I was rude for a 5am drop off and afternoon pick up. That he was so stressed out about the dog being in the apartment that he had to leave a friends 30th.
Being a dog sitter I would have thought some collateral damage was expected, especially with puppies around. Unless you dog proof which Jeff doesn't.
So am I the asshole?
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arw4rs
| null |
AITA Step-mom tries to "help" me
|
Before telling this story a little background:
​
My dad and mom separated when I was 10 or so and I'm now 23 and in this time both of my parents have had several boyfriends and girlfriends throughout the years. I've never cared or really gave my opinion unless asked of said bfs and gfs unless asked and even then was always polite. My father's now wife is a nice enough woman, but tends to give unsolicited advice and will at times get mad when you don't take said advice. I smile and walk away a lot since at the end of the day I'm not dating her my dad is.
Another important note is that my father and I have always had a pretty crappy relationship that is mostly due to him being unemotional in ALL circumstances. Hugs are awkward and he is more concerned about perception that his actual children. After years of being resentful of this I've finally come to just accept it as how his own father raised him to be, and he doesn't know any other way to be.
​
Ok now to actually get into the story!
​
While there were many times my now step-mom butt into my father's and I relationship to tell me how wrong I am one time in particular stands out. Sorry it's a long one....
​
We were going to an event where my father was accepting an award and we all had to dress to the nine's since we would be photographed for the newspaper(if wanted I might be able to find the picture that was featured) as a family as it was her first real event as his new wife.
She decided to call me up and invite me out dress shopping which my dad was nice enough to say he would cover the bill since I was sure that any shop she took me to would be out of my price range. (He is kinda rich and now she is too and I am a broke college kid)
So we go to a posh dress shop where she instantly gets an shop assistant to help us. She starts telling the assistant all these details about the dress that it just "had to be" like no cleavage shown, long dress, subtle color.
I'm thinking ok cool she is talking about her dress I'll wait my turn as I browse dresses around the shop. Five minutes or so go by then she finds me and tells me to go to the dressing room and while I'm confused to why I listen and go since I have no reason to not. As I walk in the dressing room the attendant is there with a bunch of dresses that fit my step-mom's bill and I think oh she wants my opinion on a dress for her makes sense since lots of girls do this. Nope, they were for me. In the wrong size which when I pointed this out step-mom comments "Oh I thought you would lose some weight for this event" I am a curvy girl. Have been since puberty and pretty damn good with it. But I'm not going to argue about it so I just tell the attendant that these dresses weren't what I'm looking for and would like to grab some from the front to try on.
As I turn to do just that my step-mom grabs my arm and tells me "Don't be ungrateful, your dad is paying so I'm telling you that you have to look decent in front of all these people who are going. I doubt you want to embarrass your dad in front of them."
I am pissed. I've been to these type of events since I was a kid I know how to dress to them, and I also know what looks good on my body and what is appropriate for my age. So because I didn't appreciate her tone or her "help" I take her hand off my arm and tell her "Don't worry I don't care at all about embarrassing him what so ever."
She tries to push the issue as I'm walking to the front of the store "I'm not paying for something I don't approve of!"
My reply? "You wouldn't anyway it's my dad's money not yours."
Step-mom "How dare you! Your father and I have a joint account so I'm equally paying for everything."
Me "If you believe that the blond dye is really getting to you"
Step-mom \*GASP\* "How dare you!!! See if you get a dress now!"
Me "Maybe not from this over priced store (500$ for a dress o.o for one night!)"
She once again gasped and said "wait till your father hears about this!"
After that dramatic ass line I left. Like I said they are not my problem they are my parent's problem.
Later my dad called me in a huff yelling at me for treating his wife so horrible and blah blah blah don't expect me to pay for your trashy dress now. I can't begin to know what she told him, but I don't care.
I get a nice dress from Macy's that was perfect and I got many compliments throughout the night including from my step-mom and my dad. And I made sure to comment that "oh this dress? I thought you wouldn't like it since it's trashy?"
Another fun add on is where ever she tries to parent me and tries to pull the "I'm your step-mom!" I love to pull the " and the key word there is STEP"
So am I the ass here or was I standing up for myself?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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owp6qMubcQz510rhO7FoxxMk9v9nx9U6
|
aeqeg1
|
{
"description": "not wanting to wash the dishes",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for not wanting to wash the dishes?
|
A bit of context:
Im 17, last year of high school, i live with my mother and sister. My father isnt really around, normally hes gone because of work.
My sister is 13 and in the the last year of middle school.
The chores in our house are separated between me and my sister. My mother doesn't really do much(cooks once every week or more) even tho she stays at home.
To be fair i cant say she does not work tho, but its somewhere in between, she does work but she has plenty of free time.
I wash the dishes daily(takes me around 25-30 mins in good days),I go buy whatever is required(doesn't matter if I have to buy 1 or a list of things, takes me around 30 mins in the best days and can go to wasting half a day on really bad days) and i have to clean the bathroom on cleaning day.
My sister has to cook(when there is no cooked food in the fridge), and by cooking i mean pasta or rarely sweets, and do the rest of the house on cleaning day.(the house takes around 2:30 if done properly and cooking takes 15 mins)
So realistically she does not do much most of the week, since she maybe cooks twice a week.
So today like any other day(still in vacation tho) i wake up, wash the dishes ,do some homework, go buy food and around 8 pm i finish everything and go to my friends house(i do live very close to him).
At 8:50 tho i get a call from my sister to come wash like 5 dishes cuz she wants to do pancakes. I say no because i already did my job today, and i tell her she does not need them(besides the pan), and that they wont ocuppy much space either. Plus why should i waste 15 mins to do what she could in 5?
That aside, she gets mad and tells me she wont make any for me.
Around 10 pm i get a call from my mother to go buy some things necessary for the pancakes because she forgot to tell me earlier when i went the first time, at wich point i am forced to abide since they are necessary ingredients.
In the end i do get 1 pancake, but its not the first time im asked at 10 pm to go buy some forgotten thing or to come wash some god forgotten dish(happens pretty often).
But i do have to be fair at least. My sister does do a lot for her age, but im not some stone golem, I wont compromise my free time(and we're talking about max 4h of free time) and happiness for unecessary things. Plus one philosophy I try my hardest to uphold is less effort for all, if can do something that aint my job with less effort than somebody else I will do it(if its NECESSARY). But i expect the same thing in return, otherwise I wont.
Tl;dr So to close this off, AITA for not wanting to come home to wash 5 dishes, when my sister could've washed them herself in less than half the time it would take me?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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b2kq6e
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{
"description": "playing the word \"bitch\" in words with friends",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for playing the word “bitch” in words with friends?
|
My (22m) girlfriend (22f) and I just started playing words with friends. We had 2 games going. Last night in game #1 I played “retailed” which used all 7 letters and I was pretty excited about. I played it and messaged her “FUCK me the fuck up. 7 letters bam” she replied with an eye roll. So the next turn I see I can play “bitch”. It was a good word and I probably would have played it either way but I thought it was even funnier given what just happened.
She messages me “you’re going to play 7 letters, have me watch it, message me, then play bitch” me: “that’s right”
So it’s also 2 am her time and she had to be up at 7 so I also say “you gotta go to sleep soon”.
Now the next morning (today) she’s only playing in game #2 and not touching the old game. I ask her about it and she says “it pissed me off in a not funny way last night”.
I’m annoyed and don’t think I have anything to apologize for, it’s a game, we were having fun, but am I actually being an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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alfw9t
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{
"description": "getting mad at my brother when he does dumb stuff and my parents turn a blind eye",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my brother when he does dumb stuff and my parents turn a blind eye?
|
A little bit of information before we go: I live in a house with three younger brothers, the only female. I do have a bit of anger issues and the changes in my medication can make it worse. I also have depression. They’re not at all an excuse for my behaviour, I just want to provide a little bit of what it’s like to be me.
The brother I’m referring to is 14, and is, what I believe, capable of acting like a somewhat mature person. However he likes to go out of his way to bother me. He just got over the three-year long phase of twerking with his butt a mere few feet from my face, and mooning me. Every time he did it I got mad at him. Every time I got mad, which is in my opinion a normal reaction, my parents would get mad at me and he would walk away laughing to prepare for the next opportunity.
This behaviour would often happen at the worst times, his favourite was when I would be swamped with schoolwork. (Why didn’t you lock yourself in your bedroom? There was no internet there so I had to be close to the router to do my research.) I tried talking to my dad and my mom about it, but I would end up hearing about “my problems” for an hour. That wasn’t good for my mental health, so eventually I gave up.
He’s a bit over the previously mentioned behaviour now because he was recently handed a new tablet. Samsung. He enjoys playing annoying songs at full volume and despite how annoying my parents find it, they have yet to do anything.
I’m now sleep deprived from coming out of exams and now I have to endure my brother playing loud music in the room next to mine. He also thumps around at 2am and pitches a fit when my parents tell him to turn the device off.
That brings us to today, me sitting in my room working on my hobby novel in silence when I hear him move downstairs and start watching a fortnite stream at full volume. I decided to grab some food while I went to the kitchen to tell him to turn it down. He looks at me and says no when I ask him to lower the volume. So I grab a pair of brand new headphones and give them to him, a solution to the problem. He turns those away too. So I ask him why he can’t simply cooperate and he tells me to screw off.
I call my dad, and tell him what’s going on. He tells me to leave my brother alone. I felt angry and alone, so when I hung up, I grabbed the headphones and hit him across the head with them.
Am I an asshole for putting up with his behaviour for so long?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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atr55v
|
{
"description": "ending my friendship",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ending my friendship?
|
My close friends consists of four of us. There’s my best friend and I (both 23F) who have known each other since 8th grade then there’s Jessi(26F) and Daniel(25F). We met Jessi and Daniel when Jessi moved in with my best friend.
We all got close. I was very close to Jessi. She knows everything about. However, she’s slut shamed me, and made me feel disgusting for a lot of my views. She told me I had no responsibilities (a rant, actually) said hurtful things about my best friend and Daniel.
I admit I shouldn’t have bottled everything up she was doing/saying but every time I tried to talk to her in a calm manner about something that bothered me.. she would get upset and blame it on something else/someone else. For example: I tried talking to her about BV and how her comments made me feel. Instead of apologizing, she directed it towards my best friend and stated, “she’s disgusting and dirty. She sleeps with men all the time with no condoms.” My best friend was only hooking up with one guy during that time and I had NOT mentioned her at all.
I’m fully aware that I should’ve never let her say nasty things in the first place and I never agreed with her or said anything when she said those things but... it’s a hard position.
Now my best friend lives with her and had distanced herself from her because Jessi had said some very rude things to her in her face. Daniel already knows how she is.
I finally let everything out last night. I told them everything. I wrote a letter to Jessi explaining how I felt about things and left it in her room. Everything in the letter was said in a kind way.
After the big blowout last night, I didn’t say anything to her because I already stated how I felt. I told her she can talk to me when she realizes that it’s not us whose the problem.
She had asked all of us to speak with her but she only ended up talking to my best friend and Daniel. I was not asked to talk. She texted me saying she was over it and that if I wanted to talk to her that she would be open to it because she didn’t want to talk to me.
I told her I needed a few days to cool down & to respect that. She texted me saying that I created the wedge between her, my best friend and Daniel. Reading that just made me cut the friendship off because the rude words that she said about them never came out of my mouth. I only made them aware of it.
My best friend supports me. Daniel, on the other hand. Is telling me that “She’s family and you shouldn’t cut her off. Give her a chance. Don’t be a bitch about it.”
And I get that... I would have been fine, partly, but that comment of how I wedged in between them was it for me. So am I the asshole here for cutting her off like that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tIScFUmWqJOzYAAaOxvQIPUMH7cAKGYR
|
a6cuyd
| null |
AITA Cousin making comment to me
|
My uncle took me in when my dad left (he got on drugs) he helped raise me with my mom and his wife. I was really close to my uncle, he was retired when i was born, but gave up travelling to help raise me. I thought of him as my father and he told me he thought of me as his daughter.
At his funeral the other day, I spoke about him and how he made me feel safe and all of his kids. Telling the story about when one of his children passing and the reaction they gave when he spoke to them. I, also, spoke about how much he loved his wife, she was his world the reason he loved living. his kids (but one) and his wife agreed and cried with what I said. All the guests came over and said that they could tell everything, I said was from the heart.
I said "we each have our own relationships, my experience with him was different than yours", my cousin (not his child lived out of state visited him maybe once every few years) saying pursing her lips saying that "Everyone loved him" extremely rudely and walking away. I never said once that people didn't love him, he was an amazingly lovably person.
I feel like she was attacking my relationship with him. She has two parents that never abandoned her and are still actively in her life. I was a daddy's girl until one day my dad left and never came back so my uncle told me, he'd step in as my dad for the rest of his life.
As he got older and the dementia, I became his caregiver. I barely went out with anyone to spend more time with him. I'm getting a Ph. D so I had somewhat flexible schedule. My university was a 2 hour drive each direction so I was doing 3 days at school and 4 days with him every week. I took him to every doctors appointment, spent the nights with him in the hospital, made sure he knew he was loved, cleaned him, and so much more. He had days where he'd ask me " Where's my family?" he knew he had a large family with lots of kids and his wife was extremely sick so she couldn't visit him often.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
eXwYFJd2ajr2Oaa6hB7xSDbqloXZVDfd
|
aweisj
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my mom for making my neighbors pay me less for dog sitting",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For getting mad at my mom for making my neighbors pay me less for dog sitting?
|
TL;DR My mom asked my neighbors to pay me $50 less for dog sitting/house sitting for them for 5 days. This was after she tried to get a family friend to not pay me at all for babysitting her mentally handicapped daughter. AIMTA for getting mad at my mom?
Some background: My neighbors are lovely people and they have three kids who I think of as little siblings. They come over to birthday parties and we go over there. We’re basically family.
They were going away for 5 days and asked me to stay at their house and take care of their dog while they were gone. Even though we’re close I still expected to be paid something. Their dog is extremely annoying and wouldn’t eat so I had to make special food for him. And every night he woke me up 5 times to go to the bathroom. They had me lock him in the stairwell when I went to school or work because it was pouring rain and they didn’t want him to be outside. Anyways the five days were really hard on me but I did it. They got home when I was at school so they came over later to give me my pay. They paid me $120, which meant they paid me $24 a day. And that might seem like a lot but I was doing their laundry and taking care of their plants too. I know they would have paid me more because I’m the last they paid me $35 a day which is a $50 difference. My mom told my neighbors they shouldn’t pay me that much because I don’t do anything when I’m there and so they dropped the amount the paid me. It’s not the first time my mom has done this either. When I was babysitting a family friend’s daughter who was mentally challenged my mom told her friend not to pay me at all. I love the girl I was babysitting, she’s super sweet, but it can be stressful because she’s developmentally delayed. I have to deal with mental break downs and helping her change her pads. I got mad at my mom and we got into a fight. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4Xr67p1UqiG9N1rSvTZwzNkuGB74PpoX
|
axooeu
|
{
"description": "calling someone a depressed bitch when the person I said it to started it",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for calling someone a depressed bitch when the person I said it to started it?
|
Okay, so this happened on r/LGBTteens, I recently made a post asking why does the majority of the subreddit complain about a multitude of things yet make no strive to change or fix the problem.
Everything was going pretty well, I was answering and conversating with other redditors etc. This was this one user who just came off as pessimistic and negative, they said their reply (which was negative)
and I replied with "if you say so".
I replied in that manner because I don't get into conversations in which the person already has a particular mindset that is negative. It's hard to try to talk to someone who has already given up.
So after I sent that, the user replied go fuck yourself.
So I replied with fuck you you depressed bitch.
In this insult, depressed was an adjective and was not used as in insult. Not only that but the user also labeled himself as a depressed furry, so I considered it equal grounds to use the word depressed.
After that I have been banned for r/lgbtTeens and muted by the mods when I told my side of the story.
So, AITA? The way I see it, I was defending myself against someone who was negative for no reason.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
ZmFa92BwBTN5OukjS0PgaFwE1rNQBff3
|
b4zel2
|
{
"description": "being vocal about my partners boss leaking information in regards to a murder",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being vocal about my partners boss leaking information in regards to a murder?
|
So my partner's boss volunteers as a pcso, about a month ago a woman was murdered in a small town nearby. No information besides location and the victims name was made public. It turned out it was a long standing member of staff for where I work, her husband who is also employed there.
​
So my partner tells me her boss who is a pcso has discussed the entire investigation with her and employees, this is including what happened, who they had held on suspicion, weapons used and what happened to the dog. AITA for being vocal about her boss needing to be held to account for discussing and potentially leaking confidential information about a murder investigation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
own8iPadmbFoBUiHszuwuKQYOAUruCjy
|
b51bqv
|
{
"description": "being mad that my wife went through my phone and found text messages about her to my family",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for being mad that my wife went through my phone and found text messages about her to my family?
|
A little back story.....
Currently on vacation with the family and my wife needed to take our daughter upstairs to the hotel while I stayed with our three boys at the pool. While in our room she couldn't find her phone so she used mine to call herself.
She explained to me that she was unsure how exactly my phone worked (I recently changed from apple to android after 5 years of us using iOS exclusively, so I buy that she didnt know what was what to an extent). In trying to open the 'phone' area to make a call (a picture of a phone on the front page) she instead stumbled into the text messages, scrolled a couple pages down, and found a thread between my step mom and myself. After scrolling through this for a couple of screens, she found a message from a me to my step mom where I vented a bunch of things about my wife.
Now these are things that I would not say directly to my wife as they would both hurt her feelings and start an argument that would not go well in my favor. Specifically, my wige was upset where I referred to her as a 'slob' and 'pack rat' in regards to the fact that she still has clothes that do not fit her from 10 years ago prior to our first son being born that she refuses to get rid of while also collecting more and more clothing. It is to the point that I had to remove all of my things from our shared dresser and closet as there was no more room. She currently has over 100 folder shirts and a full walk in closet of dresses and blousses that are hung (this number is not inflated as I'm the one that does the laundry in our relationship). This, and other areas where she simply does not take care of her things (multiple coffee cups left in the car for weeks, etc), is point of tension in our relationship and both my wife and step mom are aware of this.
My wife is furious that I would ever speak about her behind her back like this and feels that me implying that she is a slob is insulting as she works incredibly hard to help provide for our family (which she does) and the only reason she hasn't gone through her clothes is because she is so busy with work an family (which is true. She is incredibly busy).
I mad that she went through my phone in the first place. I dont buy that she accidentally stumbled upon something like she says she did. I feel that I should be able to speak to family about what is bothering me and if I chose to not bring certain frustrations to my wife's attention, then so be it.
Am I in the wrong here? Am I the ass hole in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
t2fUA5Af6xuXHOa5v481fbAqZJuUdhwp
|
b8ngkx
|
{
"description": "not wanting to get my wife's DOB tattooed on me along with our daughters and my parents",
"pronormative_score": 70,
"contranormative_score": 35
}
|
AITA For not wanting to get my wife’s DOB tattooed on me along with our daughters and my parents?
|
The idea behind the tattoo is that it would show my lineage. My Parents > Me> My Daughter in Roman numerals stacked oldest to youngest, bottom to top.
For some reason my wife thought that her DOB would be included in this tattoo and was shocked and upset her DOB was not included. To make the situation worse, my mother (who has no tattoos) sided with my wife under the idea that our daughter was a product of both my wife and I. I don’t know if they are confusing the idea with family tree despite me saying I was using it to show my lineage or direct descendants.
AITA for not wanting my wife’s dob on my body / changing the design of the tattoo. Cuse I’m having serious second thoughts about getting it done.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 34,
"OTHER": 54,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 16,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 70,
"WRONG": 35
}
|
RIGHT
|
alHsQWBEHB5rvxMN4HwJPK7RVF98m5pg
|
9zjn0g
|
{
"description": "starting a dumpster fire at sister in laws house",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for starting a dumpster fire at sister in laws house?
|
My sister in law is a known a-hole in her family. Everyone excuses it as it's just her personality. So today my husband and I went to her house for dinner. I didn't want to go.
She made a few comments this summer about me being white, not good enough for her brother, and about us being too comfortable. I haven't talked to her since.
So today I could tell she was waiting for me to say something just so she could cause a fight. A comment was made about the food being normal american thanksgiving style and not asian food. I said it was different than last year and not all of us were together. She flew into a rage.
She said I wasn't trained correctly and and maybe my husband needs to beat on me until I learn. I told her to rot in hell. Called her a few choice names and walked out. Without my husband.
So AITA for walking out without my husband and letting him deal with it, since I have no interest in fixing anything
#tdlr; sister in law is a horrible person, and my husband has never beat me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
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