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DvUO0WRRCSB4PtioFByCMcbWyAORdqBU
|
b4as91
|
{
"description": "going on a long weekend with friends, leaving my wife with the kids",
"pronormative_score": 33,
"contranormative_score": 41
}
|
AITA for going on a long weekend with friends, leaving my wife with the kids?
|
My wife (married 6 years, together 10 years) is a stay-at-home parent for our two children (4, 1.5).
I work pretty long hours and sometimes travel for work, leaving her to do most the parenting and housework. On weekends I generally pitch in, spending time with the kids, cooking, etc.
This weekend I’ve decided to go on a long weekend with a friend to a music festival, Thursday to Sunday.
It’s been hard on my wife, she’s exhausted from the week and then she’s not getting a break over the weekend as I’ve gone away.
I feel bad for leaving her and it’s tough on her, but it’s one weekend away in the year.
She’s made it clear that 4 days away is too much and that I’ve made the wrong decision.
So what do you think Reddit - AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 40,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 3
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 33,
"WRONG": 41
}
|
WRONG
|
PNFQc2AcdgguNsKYRf2gS6DzgZli6Cnt
|
axfafw
|
{
"description": "learning that a girl I've been seeing for 2 months is pregnant and telling her I want an abortion",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for learning that a girl I've been seeing for 2 months is pregnant and telling her i want an abortion.
|
So ive been talking to a girl for about 2 months now and I really like her. She has a child already and I have yet to meet him because we are taking things slow. We arent "officially" together but we do everything a couple would normally do. Including sex on a regular basis. Now this is where I fucked up but I didnt wear a condom any time we had sex. She is on the pill and in my previous relationships ive never used a condom if the girl was on the pill and never had an issue. Now, she is very conservative and doesnt believe in terminating a pregnancy no matter what the situation is. I on the other hand believe that would be the best option considering im really not finacially or emotionally ready to raise a child. Especially with someone I feel like I just met. I told her this and she looked at me like I just stepped on a kitten. She's really not happy about it either and also thinks its a fucked up situation but she doesnt think she could live with herself if she got an abortion. I really dont know what to do and im scared out of my mind that I could potentially have a kid with someone I hardly got to know. Am I an asshole for wanting her to get an abortion? Im also curious as to if anyone else was in a similar situation and what there decision was.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
CKMQpZN6g3V6cUF3IWx4Feq5jxIvYhB9
|
b3uoup
|
{
"description": "rejecting a girl I've been seeing for months because she rejected me once",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 41
}
|
AITA for rejecting a girl I've been seeing for months because she rejected me once?
|
So the title maybe doesn't put me in the best light, but hear me out. I had a crush on this girl, we flirted, she apparently told her friends about me, she told one of my friends she liked me, and then she basically got a bf, out of nowhere, after months of (apparent) relationship building, where she was very touchy and flirty. I took it in stride and basically abandoned her, I stopped speaking to her for months, I ignored her messages and pretended she had never existed or mattered to me when my friends brought her up.
Anyway, a few months back we kind of reconciled I guess, and she's been more open with me. She's stayed at my place a few times, though I wasn't interested in touching her. She said I love you to me and I said it back. A few days after that I told her about a girl I've been crushing on, and a while later I told her the other girl sent me underwear pics. She seemed off, but I kept flirting with her, and spending time with her.
But, I've been getting incredibly bored of her, and I've frankly never trusted her or enjoyed her company that much ever since the initial rejection over a year ago. I started by ignoring her in public, in front of her friends, when she saw me at coffee shops and so on. I also posted a snap story, a private one with only me, her and a few others able to view, about this amazing girl I've met, and who I'm falling for (not true, no such girl exists), and she basically stopped speaking to me.
I know this probably makes me look bad, but can people understand where I'm coming from. Or am i an asshole, who wasted her time and hurt her out of spite? A friend told me something of that nature yesterday.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 36,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 41
}
|
WRONG
|
knzdUTOnyg9oIZs6muPwb1QGNK6JxCbj
|
axzu04
| null |
AITA Office Assistant Doesn't Want to Pay Delivery Fee or Tip for Her Food
|
I work in an office. Typically, a few of us will get together and order Chick Fil A. On this particular day, I was ordering alone. However, one of the assistants wanted to order large fries for herself. Now, when I order, I tip 33% for a couple reasons; the order isn't more than $15 and the delivery fee is only $2.00, so I feel its appropriate compensation for the delivery driver (about $7.00). Second, I don't want to give the delivery driver any reason to mess with my food. Anyway, the assistant's large fries cost $3.25. I asked to her to pay $1.00 tip because I was paying the delivery fee and tipping my 33% so my order was not messed with. Please be aware that this particular Chick Fil A is in a mall- therefore, the third party delivery driver has to go to the mall, pick up the order, and deliver it into a complicated office park to get to our office. Plus, they have to use their own vehicle and gas. I hardly think I am being unreasonable in tipping 33%. She refused saying that it was ridiculous to pay $4.25 for fries (while I agree to some extent, go to the restaurant if you want to pay base price). Given that she refused to pay any tip or fee, I paid an extra dollar on her behalf. It wasn't the biggest deal, but its an office, and I see no reason or obligation to pay for any part of my co-workers lunch.
We were gearing up to order Chick Fil A again recently and I was overheard saying that this one particular assistant was to be excluded from the order because she didn't want to pay delivery fee or tip. No offense to her, but if you're not paying your portion of fees and tip, you don't get the delivery service; its a luxury service in my opinion and if you don't want to pay for it, you don't get it. This assistant came over and pretty much cursed me out, yelling repeatedly that she "paid for her food!" I responded that she did pay for her food, but she didn't pay for fee or tip and that was the problem, and thus the reason she was being excluded from the order. I understand why she may have been offended, but I don't think I did anything wrong.
Bear in mind, this assistant is in her 60's. While I have compassion for her, we aren't friends, I have no obligation to her, and in an office environment, it is common to pay for your own food (regardless of how little it cost). I am pretty big on the principal of the issue: I don't owe this woman anything and I find it infuriating that she doesn't feel responsible to contribute to the expense of the order.
At the moment, there is some in-office debate as to whether I was "disrespectful" by excluding her from future orders, talking behind her back, and "being an asshole" for how I treated the situation because "it was only $1.00" and essentially because she is "old." Personally, I hate these kind of arguments- I don't go to work so I can contribute even one penny for someone else's
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
imU7IU39mnTqz3Zmfg3IelULOsnyneXF
|
aohgmd
|
{
"description": "being mad at my mom because she's being immature",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad at my mom because she's being immature?
|
My parents are going through a pretty rough divorce right now. It's been especially tough on my mom. She's feeling betrayed and hurt and to top it all off, she's basically been functioning as a single mom as my dad currently resides in a different country. Being the oldest sibling, I'm more than willing to take part of the load of parenting my two younger siblings, and she knows this, but she's been especially distant lately. She started using Tinder to meet guys and she goes on frequent dates. When she is home, she spends all of her time in her room. She's been drinking alcohol and she started smoking again. I'm worried about her constantly. All of the problems that she's shouldering are crushing me. I've tried confronting her about the smoking, but when I bring it up she denies ever smoking even though it's painfully obvious that she has been. She leaves a pack of ciggarettes and two lighters in plain sight right next to the front door. I guess the thing that's been bothering me the most is the whole dating thing. It's like her whole world now just revolves around trying to find the next guy to marry. I've tried to tell her to slow down, but she's in her 40s already and so she feels like she doesn't have time to. When things are going great with a guy that's all that she wants to talk about. I try to be there and listen to her, because she doesn't really have anyone to talk to about these things, but if I'm being honest it makes me a little uncomfortable. She goes on dates with people I don't know to places an hour or so away. There's literally no way for me to get into contact with her besides her cellphone and she doesn't answer most of the time. The largest problem is that because she's so preoccupied reliving her teen years, my sisters and I have taken the backburner; it's not so much a problem for me because I'm 18 now, but my sisters are going through their teen and pre-teen years and I'm not sure I can provide everything they need emotionally. I'm mourning the loss of a functional family and I'm not sure what to do at this point. I don't know if I should confront her about how I'm feeling (if it'll even make a difference) or stay quiet because she's already going through so much and I don't want her to break under the pressure of it all.
Anyways, this is my first post on redit (I pretty much just made one for this). Any feedback would help.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
AEJTxqR2Xk8cWeeOwNZpQIwHiyEVfx71
|
ayus23
|
{
"description": "yelling at my sister",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for yelling at my sister?
|
Just happened. My sister called and asked if I wanted some burrito place. I said sure. She gets home and and I’m stoked, totally hungry. She proceeds to go through the burrito bowl with a spoon and take out what she wants. I kinda assumed we would take a knife and take half and half.
“What are you doing?!?!?”
“I paid for it so I’m taking what I want”
Haven’t touched it. Just walked away. Am I petty or has she lost her mind.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
IvCNFTlXcSenmvealsFRl1hRjF9WOxto
|
a4m1se
|
{
"description": "ghosting the couple I had a threesome with",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ghosting the couple I had a threesome with?
|
So, I (F, 24) had a casual affair with this guy (30) who also had a kind of casual affair with another girl (23). At first this girl was a little selfconcious because of me and maybe got jealous.
But they became more and more attached to each other, while I didnt really care and was on my way to break things off with him. But I started to hang out with the girl once in a while (also because she was super pushy towards our "friendship"). So we went out together and got super drunk and of course this had to happen: we made out, went to the guys house (he was playing RedDeadRedemption2 and probably felt like in a dream) and we had a threesome.
It was nice and fun. But yea.. Do you know the feeling when you had sex with someone you dont really care about and afterwards you're even more like "meh" than before? At least that was it for me.
Some days later I told the guy I dont want to hang out anymore and he was pissed. Like.. ok? Sorry for not wanting to continue this thing? To be fair, I said that I'm not interested anymore and maybe it gets better if we dont see each other for some months. That got him pissed. But I honestly dont feel like this is a super bad thing to say?
The girl then regularly texted me if we wanted to hang out and I said no a couple of times. Then after a while she sent me this super pissed message saying she lost trust in me and is sad. Right now I'm working 50 hours a week and really couldn't be bothered with it. Normally I really dont want people to feel bad because of me and I would never ghost a friend. But for me she was a one night stand and I'm actually kind of annoyed.
Of course it's not the best way to handle all of this but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1gE7WXaejReAUnT66LihmMjwGdlX0g7V
|
b57fzt
|
{
"description": "getting upset when my gf flirts with a lot of guys in front of me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset when my gf (23) flirts with a lot of guys in front of me?
|
So, my girlfriend (23) and I (23) had started dating a short while back and we're have a lot of common friends. We had been friends for over a year and after a while we realized that we liked each other. There are a whole bunch of guys that she flirts with although in a rather playful manner but I feel like some of them aren't are actually interested. A few weeks after we started dating, this one guy (24) (who was good friends with her at this point according to her, and also does not like me for some reason) started flirting with her in front of me. I don't want to get in the way of telling someone how to behave but she started flirting back. I didn't really feel good about this so I walked out of the room. This happened a whole bunch of times and it would bother me quite a bit. Whenever I confronted her about it she would just say that they were really close friends. ( I need to mention that she was interested in him a short while before we started dating and even turned me down because she was confused between us at one point). I don't know, and I guess it's absolutely her right to behave how she wants I guess but it upset me and when I talk to her she either says that's just how I am or that was in the past or I said sorry why do you bring it up again? Then she proceeds to get annoyed with me.
AITA for getting upset in this situation?
Tldr: girlfriend flirts with lots of guys including one that she was interested in before we started dating.
I might be overly sensitive and stupid here so genuinely don't know if I'm just being annoying and wrong. Lemme know what you guys think. Cheers!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ObXr2zVvuw7zkRGqcL72EsOSUKDdREtg
|
ammsaz
|
{
"description": "having my girlfriend show her love by visiting me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for having my girlfriend show her love by visiting me?
|
First time posting, and I just wanted to make sure I get everything right for it. I've been in this relationship with this girl (Call her A) for about a few months. It is a long distance relationship (Like more than 3000 Miles, NV to MD) and We've been going incredibly steady and we have very busy things that we tend to alot. Me being work and school since I'm close to graduating.
Fast forward to around this week, things were getting stressful and to a breaking point. Since family, work, and a whole lot of life thoughts get in the way. Now, we are both dealing with a bunch from both sides. I wanted to come visit A, and speak to her dad so he can get to know me. She said she won't let me talk to her dad because he doesn't want A distracted but she told him we're really close and are dating. He says in about 3 YEARS I'll be able to talk to him. This sounds insane to me just to say hi and to gain permission to date his daughter.
This is where the AITA part comes in.
Fast forward to today and I decided to break it up and say that I think we should be friends for the time being and that we have alot going for ourselves and plenty outside things are putting tons of pressure on us. Especially if A wants to be a nurse/doctor and I want to go into auto. At first she was in hysterics and cried which crushed me. So I thought (and it really hurt me to think it) if she cares like she says she does, then she should take a flight down here so we can see eachother and we can be together again. Note that I did alot for her, sending expensive gift packages and making sure I listen to and play everything with her. On her end, she probably thought she did the same. (Come to find out she's been having a depression for so long and has yet to tell me. She also openly said after I asked where our relationship is going and she said "i don't know" and "nowhere" Ouch.) So I told her if you care about me like you say you do and that you'd do anything for me, come down here and show how much you care and we can be back together.
Her friends and such are saying what I did was a dick move but I felt like it was necessary for the circumstances. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
cNCPToQ1bTEsuawCfNAKgeCol6sqN0oO
|
acm0cw
|
{
"description": "cutting traffic on the shoulder to get gas",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for cutting traffic on the shoulder to get gas?
|
On my commute home from work there is about a 1/2 mile line of cars to wait through for a stoplight. If I need gas on my way home I will drive on the shoulder when I see the gas station, skip \~15 cars, to turn right into the gas station before the light. This (to me at least) is not an asshole move, because the shoulder-driver is not waiting in line for the light but to turn to a different destination. (in my case gas, but could be a restaurant or whatever) I believe most people would agree that this is not an asshole move even though it may be illegal.
​
The catch is, I turn back into the queue of cars after spending 5 minutes getting gas, and get ahead of people who I've passed because it is a slow light.
​
I don't intend to cut in front of people, I am just doing what I would do in any waiting-at-a-light-but-need-to-turn-right-elsewhere situation.
MSPaint Diagram:
[https://imgur.com/a/JHe2CBb](https://imgur.com/a/JHe2CBb)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
bz0ecI1ydKbEB7TPL1fFX37G2q0lAZSM
|
b7ubb4
|
{
"description": "scolding a freind for joking with me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for scolding a freind for joking with me?
|
Alright let's just jump right into it.
So, I have this freind who's a senior(I am a sophomore) and I met him two months ago when we were both casted for the same play at our school. We had to spend a lot of time together after school because of rehearsals and things like that. He was pretty cool but he showed me weird videos that he thought were funny but I personally didn't
Everything was fine.
He was like me and he loved to tell jokes! That's probably why we'd get along so well. But the difference between myself and him, I know my limits. I'd never ever tell a joke that could probably come off as an insult because I care about people's feelings too much. But him well..
He would constantly make jokes about how he could bear to look at me because of how ugly I am or how I'm fat and things along those lines. Now, I get he doesn't mean them, but hearing those kids of things constantly gets tiring and annoying and it doesn't help that I'm self conscious.
So I started scolding him and calling him an a-hole. He, of course didn't take the hint that I was annoyed and contiuned. He honestly wouldn't stop unless I scolded or just ignored him all together. Today he approached me and told me he doesn't mean any of it and he's sorry but funny enough, despite knowing I was self-conscious he kept doing it.
So my question is... If I stop talking to him altogether. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
F7CudEHRMuECANJlGsF3QNcqDut7m4JQ
|
b2ubyu
|
{
"description": "kicking an Old Lady off a machine at the Gym",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for Kicking an Old Lady off a Machine at the Gym?
|
I go to Planet Fitness a few times a week.
The gym has a 30-minute circuit area. You work out at a station for a minute, take a thirty-second break to wipe up the station you used and move to the next one, and then repeat. In front of this area is a light that alternates between green (work out) and red (clean and move). Next to it is a sign with rules on using the area, which including doing the stations in numerical order.
Almost nobody follows these rules, especially during the post-work rush. People like to hog the circuit’s machines since the gym is small and the unrestricted machines elsewhere in the facility are often occupied. When people are at a station I have next, I politely ask if I can have it and they get off with, at worst, a bit of a huff.
Not today.
An old lady got on the leg press while I was two stations behind. When I caught up to her and it was my turn, I did my usual routine of gently asking if I could have the machine. She ignored me. I thought maybe she did not understand why I was asking, so I explained the rules. She ignored me again, so I explained again. This time, she told me, in a brusque tone and with a somewhat thick accent, that she was going to do one more set.
If she had *asked* if she could do another set (which most people who get to this point do), I would have been fine. However, her tone was exceptionally rude, so I said that I would get the staff. She continued ignoring me. I explained to a nearby worker that someone was not understanding how the area worked.
Before we could return, the lady jumped off the machine, rampaged over, and began swearing. The staff tried to explain the rules for the circuit, but she would not hear any of it. Some choice words included, verbatim, “I said I was gonna do one more fucking rep!”, “You’re not behaving like a fucking gentleman!”, and “Fuck you!”. Essentially, every sentence involved her dropping f-bombs like she was trying to carpet bomb a World War II city.
I remained silent the entire time she was going off. The staff went to grab the manager and the old lady moved to a different machine. I resumed working out while listening to her yell things like “Fuck you!” and “Some people just like fucking drama!” while turning to look back at me with a glare.
The manager came over. “There are so many other fucking machines! Why doesn’t he fucking use those?” and “He was so fucking rude!” The manager calmly explained the rules. The stations are supposed to be done in order. You cannot stay at a machine for more than a minute. She seemed uninterested in hearing any of it, but at least she quieted down.
I feel I may have been asshole-y for involving staff. I could have gone to a different station and just chalked up her rudeness to her lack of English proficiency or cultural differences but chose to act on my irritation. As a result, everyone’s day was shittier than if I had said nothing.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
zZoaxA1iuJKJqiZKfG6VNl47V7dhNFUw
|
a8576b
|
{
"description": "being uncomfortable when my boyfriend speaks Spanish to his family around me",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for being uncomfortable when my boyfriend speaks Spanish to his family around me?
|
I’m very rarely with my boyfriend and his family, but the few times I have been, they’d only communicate with one another through Spanish, which is a language I hardly know at all.
His whole family speaks English as well, but they choose to speak Spanish to one another around me, which makes me uncomfortable because a lot of times it’s regarding plans we’ve made and then my boyfriend has to turn to me and translate what they’ve all been saying, and often he leaves things out and forgets to tell me those necessary details until later.
Now of course I don’t mind if it’s like, his siblings to his mother in a conversation that shouldn’t involve me, but when they’re talking with my boyfriend as he’s sitting right next to me, I just feel weird.
I understand it’s their “normal language” as my boyfriend calls it, and I’m not trying to be all up in the business or try to have them change their ways, it just makes me feel left out and extremely confused and even a little awkward...
I’ve mentioned it to him and he gets defensive and angry, like they’re not going to change to make me more comfortable.
I just feel that if the roles were reversed, I would have my family speak to me in a language my boyfriend would understand so he wouldn’t feel left out or like he’s missing something important.
Before anyone tells me to simply learn Spanish, first of all, it’s not that easy and second, I am learning Spanish...trying to at least...
I feel like I AM the asshole but I don’t want to be...so someone just tell me, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
RIGHT
|
5K7XBUW0WO4OBL2v1T8qUKD7cnMAM8s5
|
a01od7
|
{
"description": "not speaking to my family",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For not speaking to my family
|
AITA For just generally being quiet and not speaking to my family? Decided to post to reddit because I am at a loss as to how to continue.
I will do my best to balance the argument so I don’t convince everyone I am some kind of saint like a lot of posts I see here. Basically like a lot of us on reddit I have always been socially anxious/easily embarrassed and subsequently have zero friends, girlfriend, and hobbies minus video games because I have to fit the stereotype just perfectly...My life consists of working 50hr weeks labouring on site then the rest at home. Hopefully you get the picture that my life is pretty shit/unfulfilling currently although I am going to uni soon to try and get a decent career and better my life.
Anyways my problem is that my mum her partner, brother and sister are all unhappy with the amount of ‘chat’ they get from me. Starting with my brother the reason I don’t speak to him is essentially because he always hyped up helping me socialise but there was always an excuse when an opportunity arose to go out together eventually the truth came out that he was embarrassed to be around me asked why to no real response. I will just say I don’t consider myself attractive but I am not some Frankenstein monster either, have good hygiene, dress etc... so ya real confidence booster similar situation with sister.
My mums partner is very confrontational if anything is not to his liking. Calls me a cunt, weirdo, and is generally a very elitist and my opinion is superior to your opinion sort of person. Finally my mum who unfortunately has a severe disability similarly will complain about anything and everything I do but still expect me to do jobs around the house after a 10hr day I know it sounds really childish but I pay her a significant amount of rent and the lack of gratitude for the jobs I do complete really sours any goodwill I have towards her.
The asshole part comes in as I have just been threatened to be kicked out the house mainly my mums partner suggestion for simply not talking to any of them and making a ‘hostile’ environment. I am not violent or angry just simply ignore them most of the time. So am I the asshole?
Hopefully I have explained the situation good enough to get some other people’s perspectives feel better just for having a online word rant tbh. Thanks.
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"description": "asking for part of my grandmother's wedding dress",
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WIBTA if I asked for part of my grandmother's wedding dress?
|
So a bit of backstory: my grandmother is 87, and losing her memory a bit. My mother is part of a sewing group that makes bereavement dresses for parents of infants who have passed away. They have too many dresses right now, and have a backlog waiting to be used.
​
My Nana and I had talked about me using part of the lace from her wedding dress to wear as a veil on my wedding day. This was important to me as I am hopeful, but not positive, that she will make it ten months until I get married. Her dress is handmade lace. We had even talked about me wearing it, but I'm a good four inches taller and not built like a ballerina, so it likely wouldn't fit.
​
I had told my mother about this, and also my fiance. Nana, when she found out about my mother's group, she donated her dress to be used for the cause. She says she told my mother to save part of it, my mother doesn't remember, and it's really possible that either of them could be mistaken.
​
So. Would I be the asshole if I asked for part of the lace skirt back and offered a cash donation to cover other supplies for the organization? If they were short on dresses I would never consider this, but knowing they have a lot of extras I am rationalizing that I could help cover thread, needles, etc for the volunteers.
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"description": "calling out a resume writer",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
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AITA for calling out a resume writer?
|
I used a professional resume writer I found on LinkedIn to help me revamp my resume, cover letter, and LinkedIn profile. I paid $300 for this service. After she sent me my documents, she asked me to write a review. I looked through my documents and they were littered with grammatical errors, spelling errors, and just weird sounding sentences. Even my name was spelled wrong! I am very disappointed but instead of writing a negative review, I sent her a message letting her know I was disappointed and told her I wouldn’t be writing a review because I don’t want to add negativity to her reviews. Now I feel bad for calling her out and sending that message, but AITA for being honest in a private message?
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AITA told someone I had Autism so he wouldn't talk to me.
|
This happened during Christmas break. I was in a class which I don't friends in. I usually keep to myself in this class but I talk a lot with the professor.
After class this guy came up to me and asked me out. He gave me a candy that I was allergic to but I still accepted it. I panicked and gave him my number, just so I wouldn't be late to my next class.
He texted me the next day. He was asking stupid questions and would text back after like 10 minutes. I really didn't want any sort of relationship with him. He was extremely unattractive and I didn't even know his name. So I lied and said I was on the spectrum of autism and that I would still like to be friends. He texted me some more but I just didn't answer and blocked his number in the end.
He didn't bother to talk to me again, but he makes me mad when I catch him looking at me. He stays clear of my path. I'm completely fine with never speaking to him again.
I was scared because classmates that I don't know never ask me out much less talk to me. In actuality I do have a bit of social anxiety. I know I should of flat out rejected him but I just freaked out. I'm sort of guilty about it. Am I a jerk?
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"description": "wanting to cut off friend after engagement announcement",
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AITA for wanting to cut off friend after engagement announcement?
|
So I have a friend I went to college with. I'm not super duper close with her but close enough I guess.
Anyways I'm going thru a really tough breakup where my ex basically lied to me for 4 years about wanting to move in with me , get engaged, etc. In the end I ended up moving out and got us an apartment and after he told me he would help pay for it and told me not to get a roommate, he backed off and left. I was devastated. I didnt eat for days .. didnt shower, laid in bed for days. I still am in a very dark place. It has not been easy. I'm the loneliest I've ever been
So I reached out to my friend for support. I would write paragraphs of what I was feeling and at one point she said he isnt a bad guy but he is young. Okay .. But that's literally anything I ever got from her. after that she would reply with emojis like this : ":/" . THEN she would flip the conversation about how she thought her bf was going to propose soon and that's all she talked about while my heart was breaking over the break up. Shes been going out with the dude for 6 months and when I said it may be too early she got really defensive so I just dropped it and let her continue to talk about it . This when on for a while. I would vent and she would respond with a face and flip to talk about her bf.
She suggested we take a trip in December. I've started planning and found a cool cheap trip to Canada for us. Under $300 for a weekend. I was super hyped but she kept saying how she needed to get an ID to leave the country and was looking into it. She said she didnt have a passport but at one point said she needs to attend a wedding in Columbia and will need a passport. I told her to get a passport and she kept saying its expensive but I figured itll be cheaper then the ID?anyways this went on for about two weeks. I even took the day off ahead of time. She came up with another excuse about her family and then I got a text msg with her and a picture of the ring with her bf. Okay he proposed. I told her congrats but was still kinda upset she kept leading me on about the trip
Then she outright told me she couldnt go on the trip because shes engaged now and needs to save money??? Mind you we are both working woman and the trip was under 300. I was really hurt because I was looking forward to this trip so bad and I felt like rather then tell me she didnt wanna go she kept giving me excuses and rather then support me thru the break up she just kept talking for hours about her possible engagement
Shes invited to my friendsgiving today and kept asking about the time and date. I told her to check fb and she said she didnt have the app so to just tell her( she posts on ig ALL) he time. I've been giving her short replies and tbh I really wanna cut her off. This whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth. I wanna be happy for her engagement but I feel neglected and lied to
Am I the ass hole?
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"description": "being indecisive about a girl I like",
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|
AItA for being indecisive about a girl I like?
|
I am clinically diagnosed with depression and I’ve struggled against severe episodes in the past few years.
I am currently dating the nicest girl on the planet. Let’s call her A. A is a smart, attractive, and independent woman and I think that I do not deserve her. We met each other over a year ago and got attracted right away.
I like her; the thing is, I am not ready to get into a relationship right now. I had just broken up with my fiancée of three years last 2017 and we did not have any closure. I’m broken. I cannot feel anything, much more love something or someone.
A and I got closer in the last year; closest that I’ve let anyone been with me in an emotional and intellectual sense. She would cheer me up when I am not feeling well; call me out when I’m being an asshole; and, essentially, walked me through my worst days. She has been very patient with me and she showered me with so much love. She is perfect and I only want the best for her. Except that, I know I am not capable of being so. I am still finding myself and I am unsure of what I want yet.
We parted ways last month and it was the most painful goodbye I’ve had. I cried really hard. She now lives ten time zones away but we still keep in contact. The other day she asked me where things are going. She said she is at a crossroad and she is planning on building the next five years of her life and she would prefer if I am in it. However, she wants to know whether I want her in my life so she can decide whether to hold on or let go.
The question drove me insane. I like her so much. It’s just that I am not sure about ANYTHING right now. I am not sure about her but I don’t want her out of my life as well. I have never been a better person until she came. It’s just that, I know I am not ready for another long distance relationship. All I want right now is to determine what the next few years of my life would be and I don’t want to build my future around one person nor do I want other people to do the same for me.
Am I the asshole for telling her that I cannot decide for now?
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"description": "pursuing my feelings for my professor",
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|
WIBTA for pursuing my feelings for my professor?
|
I want to know if I'd be an asshole for this and ruin a professional relationship I have.
I'm falling in love with my professor. I feel like if I pursue these feelings, I could potentially risk their career. For nearly 2 years, I had have the strongest feelings for them. I've never been so hung up on a person like this before. We actively talk and we know each other very well. I think they know that I have feelings for them, and I think they at least have some feelings for me, but they can't act upon them because they need to remain professional. I respect that entirely.
I just don't know what to do. I want to with them or at least let them know how I feel, but I don't want to jeopardize our friendship and their career they worked so hard for. Also, my professor is not married and is not in a relationship with anyone at the moment.
I tried to move on and see other people in the past, but with other people, that emotional connection is not there, and my feelings for professor continue to persist.
Would I be an asshole if I pursue?
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{
"description": "not wanting to move out of my room",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to move out of my room?
|
I’m 17 and currently living with my parents. There are three rooms in the house: my room, my parents’ bedroom, and the guest room. I have the second biggest room in the house (biggest is the master bedroom) and I’m an only child (in case you’re wondering).
I bought all the furniture in my room except the mattress (I paid for my bed frame, desk, desk chair, bookcase, and a small loveseat couch, TV stand and TV). This money came from my own work (mowing lawns/odd jobs until I was old enough to work as a waiter).
Last week, my parents told me that my cousin was moving in with us because she needed a place to stay while she does her grad program. She’ll be paying rent (for reference, I don’t pay rent.) Because she’s paying rent, my parents want to give her my room and have me move into the guest room. The problem is that the guest room is very small and it can’t fit all the furniture I own. I expressed this to my parents and they said “why do you need to move your stuff? Just leave it in the room for your cousin.” I got pissed because I bought all my stuff with my own money but they just expected me to leave it and let her use it.
I told them it was unfair but they told me that I don’t pay rent and have been living there for free so I don’t have a say in the matter. I can’t really afford to pay rent (my cousin is gonna be paying $900/month and I can’t afford that at all). I still think it’s unfair and haven’t talked to them in a few days. AITA?
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"description": "wanting to break up with her",
"pronormative_score": 6,
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|
AITA for wanting to break up with her?
|
She \[20F\] and I \[20M\] have been dating for a semester an half. We just yolo'd the relationship but I'm her first relationship ever, so I am afraid to break up with her. We are close friends with many people and breaking up with her could potentially cause a lot of awkwardness within our group.
Getting into my reasons for wanting to break up with her: She is very social with every guy she meets. And I don't mean being very conversationalist-ic. She doesn't notice often but she flirts with nearly every guy she meets. She goes partying often and gets drunk with her friends, usually to the point where she doesn't know what is going on or is only vaguely in control. Last time this happened, apparently a few guys tried to hit on her and her friends pulled her away after a few min and tried to tell her she already has a guy (me), but she "didn't know" they were flirting with her. She even sc's a lot of the guys she meets and "talks" with them a lot.
​
Like I get she might want to look around at other people because I am not the best looking (I am guessing, most people say I look decent). But it seriously bothers me and I have spoken with her about this because she used to bring up a guy living near us a lot, joking she wanted to date him if she ever got really lucky.
​
The part that bothers me the most is that I heard this all from her friends, not her. I am overly honest with her, she knows everything about my past and prior relationships/crushes, etc. I know a lot about her too but since she has been going to more parties and stuff, I have been knowing her less and less. She is personally quite immature and often glorifies guys she meets. Another thing is that she gets really touchy-feely and close with my roommate and its starting to make me feel uncomfortable. Other people have noticed this and pointed it out to me, but I don't want to talk to either of them because I don't want to seem like a jealous asshole. So AITA for feeling like this and WIBTA if I chose to have a very serious conversation with her (I talked with her like this recently about her maturity to no real avail) or break up with her? Could you please help with any advice? I am looking for real help, so please don't be overly cruel with responses.
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"description": "still texting a girl who cheated on her bf with me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
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|
AITA for still texting a girl who cheated on her BF with me?
|
We met when she went to my town (she lives in another state) and we ended up spending two nights together. (She's 24 and I'm 20, dunno if it matters)
After the 2nd time we slept together, she told me she'd been in a relationship for 7 years, and was going to spend Christmas and New Year with her bf on another town. I kinda said "yeah, whatever" cause I didn't want to upset her nor wanted her to leave, we talked and laughed for hours after this. She then left but we still texted whenever she had some time away from him.
Thing is I'm really into her and it seems to go both ways, we talk nearly every day now and the time we spent together was just great, so are our conversations. Just knowing she'll be back in a few months made me feel great.
Except I feel like a total dick for going through with this, I've had a long relationship myself and I'd be sick to my stomach if I ever found out I was being cheated on and she had kept in touch with the guy (most of our texts are pretty intimate, almost like we're in a relationship ourselves). I sometimes forget she's not single and whenever it hits me during our talks it makes me feel like a total douche.
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{
"description": "building stuff in a game",
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|
AITA For building stuff in a game?
|
So most people here will probably say that it's just a game and it doesn't matter, but here I go.
So recently, I started playing this game with my friends called Warframe, a MMO/RPG. In the game, you are able to make a clan which allows you to research new abilities, trade with your clanmates, and be able to build things in the "Clan Dojo."
A couple of friends and I started a new dojo with one of us as the clan leader ( they are able to kick anyone, destroy things, etc.). We soon realized that some rules would need to be put in place in order for the whole clan to not be a mess, so one of these rules was that it was not allowed to build anything without the clan leader's permission.
Fast forwards a couple of weeks and the clan leader made two rooms. I asked them what they were for and they said that one of these rooms would be mine (personalized rooms are not necessary for a clan, but it made it more fun) and I could choose which one mine would be.
The next day, I decided which room I wanted and started to build things in it (doesn't really matter what's in the room) without the clan leader's approval. I finished laying out everything I wanted in the room and started to farm for about 2 hours for the materials needed to get them. After the farming, I started production on everything... it would take about a day to finish.
The next morning I log on and I find that everything in the room was gone; all destroyed by the clan leader. Now, when things are destroyed, you get all of your materials back, but I was still very mad. After talking to the clan leader on discord (all be it in a very angry way), they said that they destroyed it because I didn't get permission from them.
I'm still pretty mad at my friend for destroying what I built, but I also see how I was in the wrong. So AITA?
​
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"description": "getting mad at my dad",
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|
AITA for getting mad at my Dad.
|
About last week I got sick two days before my test and I tried to take stuff to make me feel better. Next day I feel better so nothing wrong there. The day of the test in the morning I was feeling way worse as my sickness came back. I was talking with my brother about how I was sick and afraid I would fail the test even though I studied a lot and even got a lot of help from my tutor. He told me I shouldn’t go because in his experience he has always failed tests when he’s been very sick. I’ve had the same thing happen in the past. I called my mom and she said she was ok with it but she needed to get approval from my dad so she dialed him up for a three way phone call. In short he said no and we had a huge argument which ended in me going to school. During the test I was blowing my nose like every 3 minutes and sneezing a lot. It was so hard to think and I tried my best but I just couldn’t think as well if I wasn’t sick. Well yesterday I got my test back and I failed even though she curved it. I was angry because my teachers tests are very hard and now it’s going to be practically impossible to bring my grade up to an A again. I was mostly upset as I could have gone back to school when I was not sick and have passed or at least have gotten a decent grade. I told him I was upset and why and he tried to justify it so I stormed off to my room and didn’t talk to him for the rest of the day.
AITA?
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{
"description": "losing my temper at ex-boyfriends ex",
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|
AITA for losing my temper at ex-boyfriends ex?
|
I am mortified by what happened, it was totally out of character:
TLDR: I attacked my ex-boyfriends ex-girlfriend kinda badly after she put her foot towards my face saying she'd love to kick me.
The ex boyfriend and I are good friends, we haven't really broken up and we are staying exclusive, we still see each other like normal. We broke up because I couldn't handle being in a relationship when I think he's always lying, this is due to me finding out he was texting his ex behind my back the whole time & some other ladies.
​
The ex had to come over to say goodbye to her dying cat which my ex and she owned for a year together, before she cheated on him multiple times. And I have been with my ex & the cat for the past 3.
My ex went from not wanting to tell her, to not wanting to invite her to the house, to saying he would allow her only 30 minutes. I told him from the start she had a right to know, I wasn't thrilled but she did own the cat for a while..
​
The day comes and she is at his house for 2 hours now while I was travelling down. I arrive, and my ex asks if she should leave, I felt bad and said I didnt mind in these circumstances but I'd like my own time with the cat without her presence. I had actually called her a long time ago to make peace so I had no bad intention towards her, but expected the same level of respect. Long story short, she was refusing to leave. My ex's parents were blaming me, my ex was yelling at me because I was getting upset she wouldn't leave.
Now shes had around 3-4 hours with the cat and I barely got an hour. And I was made to leave, she was good to stay.
I felt upset that I had considered everyone but no one considered me. I get my ex was crushed about the cat, but I am basically still his girlfriend, he still said I was his number one but I really don't feel it. It's almost principle that he should've defended me., even if he just considered me a friend
I feel like an asshole though because this almost became about me and the ex instead of the cat.
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{
"description": "allowing a stranger to crash our Super Bowl party",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for allowing a stranger to crash our Super Bowl party?
|
My ten year old son has a good friend named "Stevie" who lives with his grandfather. A couple of weeks ago, my son asked if he could invite Stevie over and I said "sure." About an hour later, when Stevie arrived, my son came into my bedroom and told me that his grandfather wanted to talk to me. When I walked into the entrance of my home, Stevie's grandfather was already inside (a big "no no" for my kids. They are never to allow strangers into our home but since this was his friend's grandpa, I understand why he didn't hesitate to let him in.
Stevie's grandpa was a nice, older man. He started talking to me about his life and started inquiring about mine. I felt a little uneasy but I didn't want to be rude so I engaged for a bit. I didn't think that this conversation was going to last for nearly an hour. It got to the point that I had to use my body language to usher him out of the door. Even then, he didn't really respond to my cues until I finally walked to my door, opened it and told him that it was nice to meet him and that his grandson would be in good hands with me. I didn't pick up any negative (or perverted) vibes from him. From the looks of it, he just seems to be a lonely older man who wants to be able to talk to people.
This past Sunday, my son invited Stevie over as we were having a Super Bowl party for close friends and family members. When the doorbell rang, I saw Stevie and immediately allowed him to come in and told grandpa that the party should wrap up at about 9:00 pm or so. I then saw that he had three little girls with him (his granddaughters) and he said, "Well, we're here for the party too!" I'm sure he saw the look of confusion on my face but of course, I was NOT going to be rude and led them to the outdoor kitchen where we were having the party.
I introduced him to everyone.....well, I asked him to introduce himself because I had forgotten what his name was, to be honest. I offered him a seat at the bar and he gladly took it. He then started barking orders at the guys who were grilling (my husband and his friends). He was demanding beer, plates of food, refills, etc.
The next day, my husband was incensed. He asked, "why did you invite a COMPLETE stranger into our home for a private party???" I assured him that I had NOT invited him but even then, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? There is no way in hell that I was going to ask this man to leave. That would have been cruel on my part. Then my husband asked, "so now, where is it going to end? He feels comfortable just coming over because YOU engage with him." He told me that I was naive and saw the world through rose colored glasses.
I don't know what to think. Basically, AITA for allowing this to happen? I think I would've been the AH if I had asked him to leave. Thoughts?
​
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
pqk0K5HCvpOfJV5XavI8XOIex4IjoOXg
|
ayk9oo
|
{
"description": "putting off treatment for my health issues",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for putting off treatment for my health issues?
|
I’ll say, straight up that I expect YTA. I’m terrified of dealing with my health issues, even though I know they’re serious.
I justify it by saying that I’m only one person, dealing with a lot. My son has a lot of special needs and I’m trying to be there for a lot of people.
The truth is that I have a 9 yo son with special needs and a husband who absolutely adores me. My husband is really scared that I’m not going to the doctor.
I know I should go but I don’t. It’s always been bad news and I’m not sure I can function if the doctors decide nothing can be done anymore.
However, if I could be treated, my life would be better- not just for me,but for my husband, 9 yo and my21 yo.
The problem is that I’m letting my fear keep me from accepting and dealing with serious health issues, even though it could affect my family
TLDR health issues that could be treated but letting fears stop me, even if it means pain to my loved ones
|
HISTORICAL
|
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atm9uo
|
{
"description": "wanting to be put in a class with people my age",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to be put in a class with people my age
|
First serious post to this sub so be gentle please
I'm 15 years old and just moved back to my birth country with my parents. ( I was born here but lived in a different country since I was 6 )
We've been here for a few months in a pretty nice house and with a puppy and my parents have gotten their new jobs. The only problem is that school-wise I havnt been doing much.
I got into high schoolwhen I was 11 turning 12 (normal for the country since I was only like a year younger than everyone else in my class). That high school was terrible and is literally being shut down after the last two years graduate because of how bad it was. I left that school due to the bullying I got and the staff being the worst. I got into a small homeschool housed in the back of kids cafe and was in it for maybe 2 years i think (enough time for it to get its own building and we went from 6 to 18 students). I was doing pretty well in that school until I had to move countries. Now here's where everything I just told you becomes important. When I want to that home school I choose the subjects I'm supposed to study when I entered second year (I had to re do first year). In normal schools you're supposed to do this after your third year. So basically now I'm trying to get into this popular ""rich kids school"" (im not rich or even upper middle class by any means but my friends and i always called big schools with mostly white kids rich schools). I took the placement exam yesterday where the tests were math and English. I am absolutely without a doubt terrible at math and totally bombed the test and felt terrible but I'm praying that i did good enough in English (my best subject by far) for them to place me in a year with kids my age. The whole me already choosing my own subjects thing could also really hold me back.My parents and i want me to get into third year (I would b in fourth year I I never left my first high school) but there is a chance they could put me in SECOND YEAR. And my parents arnt even stressing about it at all ?????? Idk if it's my anxiety but the thought of being put in second year scares my SO MUCH. I just dont want to feel stupid by being in a class with people younger than me AND being so far behind in my schoolwork. Since my parents arnt stressing about it I feel like I might just be an asshole ??? Some opinions would be very appreciated.
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9yc2lm
|
{
"description": "being mad at my parents",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad at my parents
|
I’ll make it as short as I can be, but it all started when I was 7 (I am 23 now). My parents had a really messy divorce and since they both had custody and I like both my parents I would spend an equal amount of time with each of them. Growing up they would try to make each other’s lives harder and I was usually caught in the middle of it. They would constantly say mean things about the other to persuade me and my siblings to hate the other parent. Overall pretty bad experience as I see most of my childhood in a negative way. Fast forward to today, my mom is getting a divorce from her second husband of 6 years and it is equally as messy. However this time, my real dad has decided to comfort my mother in her time of grief (my dad was never re-married). They now constantly go to dinner and they wouldn’t tell me and my siblings they were hanging out and I feel a little betrayed that they didn’t tell me, and that they act like lifelong friends. With thanksgiving approaching my mom invited my dad to thanksgiving dinner, which would have never happens in the past. I am having a hard time talking to my parents as i am put off by them being friends now and I really don’t want to talk to them. Both my parents are upset that I’m not speaking with them often and don’t seem to think they are doing anything wrong. AITA for being upset?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
7CVfT7IhhrAExlQweMS1yh5Ypu67yI55
|
ax38s8
|
{
"description": "closing the lights on my little brother",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For closing the lights on my little brother?
|
On mobile, sorry for formatting
Names edited for privacy
So, my 6 y/o little brother (shall we call him David) is trying to go to sleep, has been trying for an hour 45 minutes now, when I decide to go into our room, turn on my laptop, and start browsing reddit.
Now, my little brother absolutely hates darkness, but he stays up for a very long time unless he has darkness. And the closet light has been on all the way the entire time with the door wide open (we have fogged glass doors). I haven't been browsing for a minute when David calls out "Mom, I can't sleep, I've been trying to but OP's computer is too bright"
Earlier today, I had been trying to do my work while he attacked me with his various toys for half an hour until our mom stepped in, so I was already kinda annoyed, but this completely pissed me off. I immediately shut my computer, turned off the closet light, said "Fine. You don't like the light? Have fun in the dark" and closed the door.
Immediately, David starts screaming and crying, causing my mom to chew me out.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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0K3LvQ2lvdbD8ZH3f7XjtdJKdQZSQJXW
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9te1nb
| null |
AITA in this land purchase
|
AITA? I live in a terrace with an area of scrub land behind it. One neighbour, let’s call him B hoards stuff on this land. Piles of rotting wood etc. This land is 6ft high in most places with bramble and stinging nettles.
I have approached the land owner with a view to purchasing this land. Other neighbours are interested and an offer has been accepted based on all neighbours being offered a section ( seller is a nice guy). B was offered a section of this land the same as other neighbours, he went ballistic stating he should be able to buy all of it as he has (taken care of it) for so long. The entire street was given the use of the land for free by the owner 30 years ago. B has since chances off the only people who used it as allotments and gardens etc. Taking down fences and destroying planted areas.
AITA for organising the street to buy this land that B has had free reign over for years?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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|
abo44n
|
{
"description": "checking in on a friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for checking in on a friend?
|
This happened a few months ago (September) but it's been eating away at me since. Long read, sorry!
I had this friend who I met during my first year at university; we were both studying the same subspecialty in our major, so we had a lot of classes in common and we were fairly close friends. We would collaborate together on group projects, study together, and hang out after class fairly often. However, earlier this semester, she started becoming really closed off and distant and wouldn't really engage me when I tried to talk to her. It was like a complete 360 in attitude and I was really concerned; I really don't expect everyone to talk to me but it was a complete shift in her demeanor towards me despite me not doing anything. I got concerned for her and thought she might have been struggling with some personal problems so I asked her if everything was fine, to which she replied everything was okay (really brusquely though). Here's where I'm not sure whether AITA: I was still concerned for her so I decided to privately ask a mutual friend who was much closer to her whether she was doing okay, to which I got no response (seen on Facebook messenger though). I later told my friend that I asked her friend about her and she wasn't happy, claiming that she was allowed to be upset without having everyone snoop on her. I get that I may have crossed a boundary, and I know how annoying it is to have someone not believe you because I have helicopter parents who frequently "check" on me through my friends. It's just that we attend a really stressful school, and multiple people I've known have committed suicide this past year due to overwork and mental health issues, with several more people I know committing self-harm in general. I really kicked myself for not being a good friend and recognizing that my other friends were suffering so I really tried to help this friend early on before things got out of hand but it's obvious to me I've only done more harm. I really miss having this friend in my life (we're still in the same classes, it's just really awkward now). I'm the kind of person that really wants everyone to be my friend, so I've been really down this entire semester because of this conflict. AITA here? If I am or am not, what should my next steps be to repair this friendship?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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8St1Ey3UkXNPx5MqZ41bvovwAHNjTZED
|
ab6xft
|
{
"description": "signing a co-workers leaving card passive-aggressively",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for signing a co-workers leaving card passive-aggressively?
|
A little background. I worked with this woman for a few years. I did not like the woman for various reasons and it culminated in the signing of the card when she left.
At work, she would do the bare minimum that was required of her and generally just didn't care about the people she was meant to be there to help (we work with teenagers). When she went on maternity leave, she spent the last few months of her time at work slacking off and not having her students do the work they were meant to do, which we didn't find out about until after she'd left; she'd effectively downed tools because she knew it wasn't going to be her problem when she was gone. We ended up having to redo all of her work on top of our own. She would also be the only one referring to our transgender students by their "old" names and pronouns, even when they'd never been referred to as those names and pronouns and they were only on the system because they hadn't legally been able to change their name yet.
Then a while back she was renting out her apartment because she was moving in with her long-term partner, and I was looking for a place with my best friend at the time so we ended up renting the place from her (this was before quite a lot of the stuff in the first paragraph had happened, we'd only been working together for about a year at this point). Turns out she was a bit of a nightmare. She refused to do basic things such as put locks on the bedroom doors telling us that "if you're such good friends, you shouldn't need locks", and even when we offered to pay for them ourselves said she wouldn't allow us to have locks and it was "non-negotiable". It basically became a running theme that if we wanted it, we weren't getting it regardless of if we would pay or not.
She also wanted nothing to do with my friend who was paying half the rent. If my friend asked her a question on the groupchat, she would often answer in a separate chat or phone call to me specifically. When it came time after a year to renew our agreement, she send a list of amendments that straight up said "All communication regarding the apartment is to be between me and IFeelRomantic". After a while because of this and some other warning signs I figured out she was committing fraud, pretending to her mortgage company that I was the only person living there. I could have shopped her, but I didn't want to cause problems at work by essentially turning a co-worker into the authorities. We were planning on leaving as a result of all this, but she ended up selling the apartment anyway after we'd been there 18 months.
So essentially due to all this ... I wasn't her biggest fan.
She quit the job recently, and a leaving card was going round the office. I was trying to pretend I didn't see it or I was just too busy, but it eventually got dropped specifically on my desk and I couldn't. I didn't have it in me to write a love-dovey message after the crap she'd pulled. So I just wrote *"Bye bye! - IFeelRomantic"* in the card. I could have made up some fake BS, but I didn't.
As she's leaving the building for the last time we happen to cross paths as I'm coming in from break, and she has a go at me for writing the message in her card. She says "that's all I get for all these years working together, all the things I've done for you?" (referring to letting us rent her apartment presumably, since she damn well never did anything for me at work) and says she knows I hate her even though she doesn't know what she possibly could've done to deserve it. I just tried to get out of there as quickly as possible since I didn't want anything to do with her at this point and I was hoping to avoid all contact whatsoever.
AITA in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
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xHPbjZYqFgxw2Otu2AROxmgkNCtIOP6z
|
antqxb
|
{
"description": "moving on fast after a 2 year relationship",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA - Moving on fast after a 2 year relationship?
|
Hey guys! First post!
Here’s more info:
I (21F) have an ex (21M) that I met in college and have dated for two years until last August. Our relationship was amazing for two years and I even lived with him for the summer. I understand that he’s a really good person despite the relentless fights we had during the last 6 months of the relationship.
Our last 6 months together was in the summer and we even went on a trip. While the trip was fantastic, I realized there was huge problems in our relationship.
For one, he was obsessively too caring? Not sure how I’d phrase it. For example, I have ADHD, so I have a HUGE problem leaving my stuff everywhere (phone, keys, wallet, etc). Instead of reassuring my of my lost items, he would get angry/mad that I would do such a thing. I’m also the type of person who wants to do everything myself, since I want to overcome my ADHD and not feel reliant on others to keep track of me. So as a caring person, he would offer to hold my stuff so I won’t lose it, but if I tell him no, he’d get angry. If I lost my stuff, I’d blame myself, and do what I can to retrieve it.
In essence, his aggressiveness with my care, and my refusal for help really hindered our relationship.
Another problem with his aggression was that he’d get angry at me for no reason.
Ex: one day he was playing fortnight (I know...) and lost. The next thing I know, he looked at me and yelled at me for just lying in bed for taking a break from homework (I never had a problem with late assignments, I was just tired).
Ex2: He would also get mad at me for not giving him sex. We would have sex pretty often in the beginning, however as a busy person, I was never in need of constant sex. He attributed this to me not being attracted to him anymore despite me telling him that it was absolutely not true. I would often get scared a little for how angry he gets sometimes and even have provided sex when I wasn’t feeling it so he wouldn’t get mad.
We did confront eachother about our problems and tried to fix it but towards the end of the 6 months, I knew it wasn’t going to work out.
I felt extremely bad because his family also hooked us up with plane tickets but it was never my intention to use him like that.
Anyways, we both agreed to end our relationship and possibly put it on hold. However, once I started to hang out with a guy I really had interest in (only a week later after we broke up) because he was so similar to me and the opposite from my ex. My reasoning to moving on fast was because I was already starting to dissociate from my ex for six months. Also I’ve been so happy around my new partner during my personal stressful period.
After I told him
About the new dude, and that it was not just a “break” anymore, he became mad ad told me that if I really cared about him, I’d turn the other guy down.
I was upset because I still saw my ex as a good person and didn’t want to end things on a bad term, but I also really saw a huge potential with the new person.
He’s definitely not the asshole, I was just wondering if I was. And if I really am a bad person for moving on even if he told me that it would hurt him.
AITA - for moving on for own happiness at the cost of my ex’s?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
1XY60H2yT5jNaFhfU0FXDfSyGj4Eil1R
|
aveeq1
|
{
"description": "leaving my roommate with most of the rent",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
WIBTA if I left my roommate with most of the rent?
|
Background: Currently rooming with a friend, both at the same air force base for pilot training. I got married recently and my wife (also in the military) got assigned here and is moving in a few weeks once she completes training. I want to live with my wife, but she has a cat and my current apartment isn't pet friendly. I've talked with my landlord and she isn't willing to budge on the lease at all. Which is fine, it's a legal contract, I just figured I'd ask. We've already found a pet friendly apartment in the town, and have put in an application.
Things get complicated now. When my buddy and I first moved in together, we discussed the fact that I was planning to get married in the spring. We didn't know when my wife would be able to come here, so we got a 12 month lease which ends in August. I had to change my plans and get married earlier so she could get the join spouse assignment to come here. So we got married in November, and a couple weeks ago she got her assignment to this base. I was excited that she got this base and told my roommate, and he was happy for me but was concerned about what would happen with the lease. Before we agreed to room together, I discussed with him that I would be moving in with my wife whenever she came here. I don't think he remembered our previous conversation (it was like 7 months ago so there's that). I told him I'd talk with our landlord and see if she could get him a one bedroom instead of the two we currently have, so he wouldn't have to pay the full rent on this one. I went to her with my idea, and she said the only option was for him to stay and pay the rent for our current unit.
Here's my plan: I'll move in with my wife at our new place. I will also pay my roommate my half of the rent for March (since I'll live here for at least half of March) and then I'll pay him the difference between the one bedroom he was fine with and the two bedroom we have now (745-675=70 per month for the rest of the lease, so 350) at once before I leave. I may even bump that up to like 500. I feel bad for dipping out halfway through the lease and leaving him with more apartment than he wants, but I want to live with my wife and don't think that's a crazy thing to want.
WIBTA if I go through with my plan and leave my roommate paying most of the rent for the remainder of the lease?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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WRONG
|
YnSi8gQrG09Mdvs8v7jPBezLzb1pTx3u
|
b8s73z
| null |
AITA Ex Girlfriend messages me about how she started to talk to a previous ex
|
So I(M16) started to date this girl about two months ago and we had a pretty strong relationship. We went on a couple of dates and I was there for her when she was sad or feeling down. She had just come out of a relationship when we started talking and the guys she dated dumped her for another girl. We eventually hooked up and decided to start dating, but it was really low key. I began to notice she was acting much more distant two weeks ago and I talked to her about it. She basically came out to me and said she still had feelings for her ex. I honestly did not want to make her feel bad and told her that I was sorry and if she didn’t feel comfortable with this relationship it was fine. The thing is after she broke up with me and she said she wanted to remain as friends. I tried to accept this and did not want to make her feel bad so I still talked to her as a friend. I eventually couldn’t deal with the emotional pain and I told her that and I said I couldn’t keep talking to her because of the emotional strain I felt when I talked to her. I honestly really fell for her and talking to her knowing that she was not looking for a relationship hurt me a lot. She became really angry after I told her this and called me out on her story to which i told her I still loved her, but it was too hard for me to deal with the relationship. She still sent me a message afterward asking if I was snap chatting one of her friends who I had a streak with and I told her that it was just a streak. She said ok and I didn’t want to make her jealous or feel uncomfortable, so I ended the streak with her friend. Today, she messaged me saying that her “friend” said that I asked her out, I told her that it was completely false and we had not talked in two days. I even showed her our chat history, she then told me that she needed to tell me something. She told me she started to talk to her ex again who had dumped her. I was obviously conflicted and just said “Whatever floats your boat” and then I removed her as a friend on Snapchat because I felt like shit. Her friend( who I had the streak with later messaged me calling me an asshole for ignoring her). I feel like it was rude of me to block her, but I still feel really used. AITA for ignoring my ex?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Yf08MNZBkBwiSToWZ0vwmNOzwPxpax1G
|
ae0nnq
|
{
"description": "\"pesturing\" this guy who owes me $675 around the holidays",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For "pesturing" this guy who owes me $675 around the holidays?
|
So last year we thought my husband and I could possibly save money by "renting out" our car and using public transportation. It honestly probably would've worked out okay, even though it proved to be a bit more difficult to use public transportation than we thought. The reason it didn't work out and we ended up *losing* money was because, instead of trying harder to find an agency that would but our car or finding more respectable people, we just settled on this couple in their early 20s that we didn't know and had faith that, because they were "nice" and we were also just a couple in our early 20s trying to make it in the Big Bad World, they would pay our car payments.
We made no legal contracts with them, just planned to put them both on our insurance. It soon turned out that the girlfriend didn't want the car afterall but the boyfriend did. So we put him on our insurance and he had our car for about 3 months. He only made 1 car payment(this includes the loan and insurance bill).
My husband was suppose to handle all the communication and make sure the guy made payments but apparently, that didn't happen. He just casually asked the guy when he was going to pay once out of the 2 months he had our car and didn't pay.
So I took over all communication with him and told him that I wanted the car back and didn't want it "detailed" like he had offered because we needed the car ASAP. He gave us the car back covered in stains and dog hair, smelling like wet dog's ass.. but I was glad to have it back as some things had come up and we needed the car in whatever condition it came in. Finding a job and keeping the job as proving difficult without the car as well.
In October, he tells me he'll definitely be able to pay off what he owed before Deceomber 15th. In November, we get a notice for $300 fine because of a traffic violation the guy had apparently committed. He didn't pay until the very last hour that the bill was due. We had the $300 to cover the time beforehand, but we were out of that money for a whole month. The day he was suppose to pay the $300, I asked him around 5pm where he was, as he was suppose to meet me with cash or check. He said messaged me back.. after I called him twice at 7pm saying, "Sorry, I just got a gig in the next town over. Can I venmo it?". I agreed to the Venmo and he sent the money saying "That's all the money I made tonight."
He assures me, again, that he will *definitely* pay the rest of what he owes us by December 15th. On December 15th, I call and I text. He gets back to me at some point saying "Sorry. I don't have the money since I gave you all the money I had last week."
By Christmas, we became absolutely broke. My husband is a student who just ended his semester(no more student loans until sometime this month), I've had some medical issues come up and we had just moved into a new apartment on that Decemeber 15th, hoping for cheaper rent and that we'd get those car payments back. As the end of the year was approaching and we stared down the barrel of the new year, we had to stay at my parents place for a week for heating and food, they were so gracious to take us in. We had no money for upcoming bills and had to warn our landlords, who said we'd be served an eviction notice if we could not pay and I was calling local food banks.. all of which were to be closed for the next couple of weeks. All other financial resources were also closed.
Scared and frustrated, I called and messaged the guy again. I felt bad because I know a lot of people struggle around the holidays but I was grasping at straws, hoping that at the absolutely worst, he just forgot about us? He just ignored me and hasn't at all gotten back to me about when he will ever be able to pay us back.
For any context I have on his part, he and his girlfriend broke up shortly after he took the car. He went to see his family, (at the time he went for the visit, his excuse for not paying was that there was a family emergency). He lost his job because he was seeing his family and was not able to get it back, then he begged his parents to let him stay. On Venmo, I can see that he's recently made a "tranfer" to his ex girlfriend for some let related thing and had paid rent to someone else.
My husband just got a job with his old moving company a few days ago and that should definitely help us out until we get his student loans again but he gets paid bi-weekly and we have about $100 for gas and food and emergency with no food in the apartment. Fortunately, my husband often gets fed at work. So we are still hanging in there, we can try to buy some food that will stretch into the next week maybe. I would go to food bank but my husband has the car all day and late into the night everyday until Sunday.
Anyway, it's just really rough this month and next month will definitely be better. All my conversations with this guy have been very nice and understanding and I haven't at all made threats or been angry at him.. but I *am* getting pretty frustrated that he can't even answer his phone anymore or let me know what's going on.
Am I being an asshole for demanding the money on holidays and bugging him about it?? Should I just wait another month or so to ask him about it again? Or am I being too nice and should I try to take legal action, if there is any legal grounds?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
aXFB4eflogE33xmxjK2IloVDzMylLVQ9
|
alug84
| null |
AITA Friends destroyed my property, won’t take responsibility
|
AITA TL;dr, my friends had my portable mattress and didn’t respect it according to my wishes, their dog pissed on it, and bed bugs destroyed it. They angrily gave me $50 but our friendship is now strained and I don’t know that that is a fair repayment. They never even told me it was gone.
I loaned a portable roll up queen size mattress to my couple friends bc I wasn’t using it. I had obtained the mattress from a friend. My friends used it as a lounge bed in their family room. They were always on it, their pets too. They alluded to having sex on it. They had it for about a year, and tried taking ownership of it. I always reminded them that it belonged to me. I once was going to repossess it after I found out they fornicated on it, but felt bad bc then it wouldn’t be used and they enjoyed it so much. I asked that they don’t have sex on it any more. (They did not listen to me)
Recently, their dog developed medical problems and pissed on the bed. Then they got bed bugs and got rid of a lot of their belongings. When one of them was showing off their clean, uncluttered apartment to me post bed bug fiasco, I noticed the bed wasn’t in its usual spot. “Where’s the mattress?” I asked. “Oh, the dog pissed it and bed bugs and we threw it out”. She said nothing about being sorry, about replacing it or compensating me.
So I waited until they were done replacing bed bug things and shit settled down. I researched bed prices and they’re at least $100 and found a reasonable roll up mattress for $150.
I told them last night I wanted to “talk about my mattress that was thrown away, which I discovered on my own and wasn’t told about”. They immediately became defensive. One of them was about to buy weed and instead gave me the $50 and said “fuck you, it was used anyway!” And left. The other stayed to hear what I had to say but was clearly triggered (she has mania) and became hysterical. She told me I was shaming her about sex on the mattress, that I was immature and talking about a fake reality about the sex. She said she was traumatized from the bed bugs and the mattress has bugs on it. I relied that regardless, it had been pissed on by their dog recently and they weren’t using it. She told me she (she is also my ex girlfriend) has bought me things including my computer, that I have broken things of hers (I also have mania) and that I should basically accept the mattress being gone as repayment of those things. The other partner returned and when I asked what if hers I have broken, she started “well emotionally...” and I stopped her. I said physical objects - I have not broken your physical objects. (I had mania and was very mean to her two years ago and she hasn’t forgiven me but we’ve never spoken about it )
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
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|
WRONG
|
zkhl7PATKfaZHHtkR3xyYP80FCbq8O6R
|
ac8wy7
|
{
"description": "wanting to fire a team member in grad school that will jeopardize their degree",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For wanting to fire a team member in grad school that will jeopardize their degree.
|
As part of my graduate program, I am teamed up with three others that, for every non-elective class, we are required to work on every-group project together. The teams were assigned over the summer and last until graduation in May 2019. As part of the program, the school requires that a student has to finish with their team in order to graduate and receive a degree. Group projects are a significant part of those three class's grades (\~50%); the rest of the grade is exams (one did have a small homework component). Teams are allowed to fire a member of their group if there are issues.
​
One of the members of my group, will call him X, stopped showing to team meetings a bit after midterms in the fall semester. We never really had a set official meeting time, but we did have certain time slots that worked most of the time, that the rest of us assumed would be open if/when we needed to meet given a few days notice--the "Meet up same time next week" or "lets do it after Thursday's class again" sort of deal. Up until the midterms, there were few issues with scheduling times, but everyone, including X during the first half of the semester, would promptly notify us, either in person or over group text, if they had a conflict and X regularly attended those project meetings.
​
Shortly after midterms and a week-long fall break after, X stopped showing up to the three classes we have together (only showed up 2-3 times in two of the classes, and only showed for the final for the third); the few times X did show up where when there was no group project in that particular class. None of us shared any electives with X so we do not know if X attended those other classes.
​
One of the team members who knew X in undergrad, messaged X a few times to see what was up, and in one of those messages X casually mentioned that they were taking some serious drugs. X said that they would be better with attendance to meetings, but nothing changed. We also know that X did \*really\* bad on one of the midterms and we think that is a factor since it was right before the issues started.
​
We talked with the program director about this mid Nov and she told us not to put X's name on the case study paper that was due shortly after, and to see what they do with the remaining project. She also said that she met with X in an email after, with the pretext that he was missing class, and asked if it was affecting the rest of the team. X denied that there was a problem and told her that there were no issues with the team or X's academic performance.
​
After X found out that we didn't put their name on the paper, we had a meeting with everyone and the program director. X got defensive thinking that everything was fine, that the problem was we didn't give X enough time to block out their schedule for the meetings. We countered saying that X didn't respond to any texts about setting up meeting times, that even a "sorry cant make it then" would have been okay and since they didn't go to class we couldn't get their input on meeting times face-to-face. We reached a sort of half-compromise of "finishing the semester strong" and the program director told us she will meet with us a few weeks after spring semester starts to see where we are.
​
X did some work on the final project on their own and sent us the file to work off of (most of the math stuff was done), but a) we had issues following along with out them there, b) I felt wrong accepting their work after this mess with out contributing and c) we wanted to use the project as practice for the final exam, so we redid the work. We finished the rest after a meeting & finished the final part of the write up on a google doc over the last week at everyone's own time, which X didn't contribute to.
​
After the rest of us finished studying for our last final (X didn't attend any of our study session either), we all said that we had enough and wanted to fire X. I said that I would take care of it over the holiday break, since the other two members planned on leaving campus the next night so I haven't talked to them again until today.
​
Toady, I wrote up an email draft to the director saying that we wanted to fire X, what is the procedure, and sent it to the other two to review before sending. They are starting to have cold feet and are no longer 100% onboard, and now I'm trying to convince them over group message to fire X. Classes resume next week and I want to get this done before then (didn't want to ruin anyone's Xmas but now I think that was a mistake for waiting this long).
​
I don't want to condone/enable/overlook someone who is using hard drugs. I don't want to give credit to this teammate when they don't do any work anymore. I don't want to carry the burden for someone who doesn't attend class. We gave X extra chances, and I don't want to give X another. If X gets fired they have to find a new team to take them in, which could be difficult; other teams will know something is up if X got fired and they may not want to pick up damaged goods. There is a good chance that this fucks X's degree up since they won't graduate and X's previous year will be a waste of time & money. I don't know if this will make X's drug issues worse and spiral out of control. However, maybe this is a trigger to get their life back on track. I'm also feeling like an asshole trying to convince the other team members, who I like and respect very much cause they also don't want to ruin X's life. But I'm on the edge of pulling the "its me or X card" mostly cause I'm having ethical issues enabling substance use and looking for another team because I don't want to 'work' with X anymore.
​
\*\*TLDR: A team member stopped contributing to group projects, no longer attended lectures and drugs are a factor; I'm trying to convince the rest of my team to fire them and potentially screw their degree and life up for a few years.\*\*
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
MReKeutpCTvD250hvSpRMJ5OU9GTGxqC
|
b93w09
|
{
"description": "selling hand me down clothes",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I sold hand me down clothes
|
My cousin (whom is extremely well off) passed on children’s clothing to another cousin about 4-5 years ago. The second cousin then passed on clothing to myself and continues to do so about every 6 months. The original cousin has very nice but very expensive taste so all of the clothing we received are higher end name brand clothing and shoes. A lot of which still actually have tags on them even from being passed through 2 different kids before getting to me. Now I want to say, I am forever grateful that I literally never have to buy a single piece of clothing or shoes. But we have so much. I donate the pieces I know aren’t really for us and I’ve given some to a family in need but we’re still over loaded. I want to get rid of some of the clothing but I don’t want to donate it because I know someone will just turn around and sell it anyways. I feel really uncomfortable asking my cousin what I should do with the unwanted items because we really only talk like once a year. WIBTA if I sold some of the clothing and kept the money?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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"OTHER": 3,
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
6Vy48SG4dp5h6EmXnM8LHBYFETq29JhJ
|
app3lf
|
{
"description": "telling my friend I'm \"free\" to hang much later than I'm actually free to hang",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA when I tell my friend I’m “free” to hang much later than I’m actually free to hang?
|
One of my friends talks about politics ALL THE TIME and we don’t really see eye to eye. I tell him I’m free at 11:00 when really I’m free to hang at 8:30 just so I can chill with my best friend a little before I pick him up. All he does is rant and smoke my weed without tributing for the weed and never pays for gas, which I don’t really care about, but he never offers. Basically he’s just a leach.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
qoCUbN3V6sNyzcwUj8kLMt1sQmear1J6
|
ba24mb
|
{
"description": "tying to destroy people who belittle me",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for tying to destroy people who belittle me?
|
I have a hooker friend that trying so hard too look classy and superior. She do sex for money and recently get married with a old guy. She show off. She like to bring me when she is shopping to show off how much she spend and she always pay for our food. She like saying thing like "i'm rich..", "let me pay, i'm rich", "I only want rich man", etc
We both in early 20 and meet at school. I come from tbh a quite rich family, my father have few company (she know, and that probably why she being friend with me, last time we go holiday to other country, all expend my family pay. But my parent raise to be "humble", my pocket money is like most of my friend, i never brag and i try to be kind and all of that kind of bullshit). I actually never feel any pressure because i know i have more than her.
The things is, she like to bring me down. She have a bad self esteem and i think that's why she do it. She like to say and treat me like i'm dumb (she drop out from college after a lecture get angry to her because of her stupidity, marry her loser sugar daddy, and she trying to say that to me? LOLS ) And you know what i do? I will try to kill her with kindness (which is easy because i'm known as sweet innocent girl)
So here some things i do:
-her: you are a failure
Me: hahaaha whats failure about me? I just finish my degree and i'm going to master soon.
How about you?
-her: my get ** dolar every month.
me: wah, really? Is that enough for you? *act like i'm feel bad for her*
(fyi my father earn so much more than her husband, her husband income is only twice of money i spend every month. My father have two kids, and he always saving more than he spend)
-her: am i ugly
me: yes *with a honest and kind face"*
-her: *trying to brag about how much she spend for a bag"
Me: why you spend so much? your husband income is only xx etc *show her i'm worried*
-her: you are bimbo
Me: no lah *act like i don't care
few hour after
Me: i know you are a prostitute HAHA
Her: bla bla bla no
Me: really you are not? Good because it's disgusting lols
And so many more thing happen but that's basically what i do every time she try to act shitty and bring me down. I will try to destroy her with a kind face (why being hysteric or violence when you can left some kinda permanent mental problem with your sweet voice)
Everytime i do that i can she hurt in her face and she trying so hard to act cool. I know i hurt her. I don't feel bad because i think i'm some kind of justice warrior.
I can easily just avoid her because our friendship is little toxic, but somehow she entertain me with her pretentious act (like look at a bitch trying so hard to pretend she is a rich classy lady, but in the end she is still a dirty bitch. It's funny. I feel more superior than her. I feel good,) so we still meet and hangout sometime.
AITA? What should i do? Is she deserve it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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EVERYBODY
|
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|
WRONG
|
26ZkU4AbX9VSk3ex2STqe0sA1lWpJn0U
|
9xvyt6
|
{
"description": "accepting a ride from another girl",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for accepting a ride from another girl?
|
So my SO (F 18) and me (M 19) have been together for about two years, but we still get in fights about stupid things sometimes. Yesterday, I was parking my car in a remote lot because we aren’t allowed to park on campus (college students), and as I was walking back in the 25° weather, a girl asked me if I had a snow scraper. I said yes and proceeded to go grab it and give it her. After she scraped off the car, she offered to give me a ride to wherever I needed to go since it was freezing and I have her the scraper. Anyways, long story short, she and I had a pleasant conversation and she dropped me where I needed to be. A few hours go by, and if SO calls me and we start taking. I nonchalantly bring up for situation and she immediately changes her mood. I feel like something so small shouldn’t be a big deal, but I have tendencies to overlook these things.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
8NGyB05pMjKSJnhu0mgQXYs3Sq4Oqp7e
|
b1fb99
|
{
"description": "being annoyed that my gf said I should stay away from her during a big celebration because I had a cold",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 25
}
|
AITA for being annoyed that my gf said I should stay away from her during a big celebration because I had a cold?
|
So, the background.
I have been with my girlfirend for almost 5 years now, and every year we always go to her families home to celebrate big events ( New Years, Name-day, our country version of chrimas ect). Often this involves her parents and her little sister.
This year she had been through alot of stuff in a short space of time (Car accident where she broke her wrist, insurance issues and suing other party for injury). as a result of her broken wrist, she could not do her job effectively enough, so she was not to go there for 5 weeks. so she has worries about keeping her job too.
With a week left to healing was complete, we planned to go to her parents house again for holiday celebration. But I was away at work the week before this, and said I would catch up and appear a few days later than normal (but before holiday main day happen).
But I got ill, I had a sniffle and a temperature, normal cold stuff, so I just gave a heads up to her that I might not be 100% when I get there, but I was still coming (was finishing packing my clothes, it was only a 2 hour drive).
She texted back saying she was sorry I was ill, and that it must suck, but said don't come over for holiday, because she did not want to get ill and maybe miss time off work more. and also later mentioned maybe not getting her parents ill, who are in their late 50s (But it felt like excuse, as it came many texts after the 'I dont want to be ill' text). and her little sister always came over every year ill with cold and others got ill from her. so that is good, but not me?
So I was short in my text reply and said 'Have a fun holiday', and she said we should talk later, but I did not want to because I felt hurt and rejected in family time holiday, so I did not speak to her yet, and she is back tomorrow (after gone a week).
She said it was understandable, I am still hurt and thought she was freaking out too much and was selfish.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
9j7mqrnW6C2capadS037fba2H9jhG41W
|
ai7tiy
|
{
"description": "not including my husband into my new friend group",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not including my husband into my new friend group?
|
To start this story, I am a pretty fresh immigrant to the US, less than two years now and married (F24 with M32).
My husband is a US citizen and grew up here. He has a pretty steady group of friends that I pretty much all know, and I am offered to hang out with, but only do so sporadically because I feel like they’re my husbands friends, he grew up with them, they’re older and ultimately, I very much support him going to the bar with them or play games or whatever. If it’s like a party or an event, I am happy to go and they are all great people.
I started a new job where are I FINALLY after almost two years of not having proper friends and missing everyone back in Europe, made good connections and I hang out with group of people (about 3 to 8 people) pretty regularly after work (we all work at Disneyland, so it’s easy to just pop in for a few hours after work without going home).
The thing is, as much as I love my husband I also enjoy being a stupid 20 year old and hang out with people my age or a little younger, which is all of them in this group. It makes me so happy that I finally have connections of my own and ‘my’ group, because as a new person in the US I had to rely on my husband for that and had to blend in in his group, otherwise I wouldn’t have anybody and I didn’t have the luxury to have someone I grew up with or like a high school friends I would know for years, and this really bothered me. My husband always encouraged me to make friends, too.
Here is the thing. My husband now keeps asking why am I not introducing him to my friends (which he met at least 3 of them when he was with me after work, not in a group but I introduced them, but we never hang out) and wants to hang out with us, but its not what I want. He feels like I dont include him.
I feel like in general I am very independent person and I was never clingy or have the need to spend all my free time with any SO in the past or include them in every little thing I do - I like to think that people dont merge all of a sudden to one entity and have to intertwine everything theyre doing and have like shared friend group.
Also, as much as our age difference isnt an issue in day to day life, I feel like I had to grow up a lot and didnt enjoy my early twenties at all, which I get to enjoy now with my new friends - my husband being older would totally not fit into this group because of it. I dont want to think about if he is entertained and having a good time with bunch of stupid 20 year olds .
To add more info, i mostly hang out with them right after work, like once or twice a week, rarely stay out late, they are all good people, no drinking, all very safe and mostly at Disneyland. I would not prioritize my friends over my husband but I sure value my own happiness as well. The time spent with my friends doesnt shorten the time spent with my husband. Also I said majority of these reasons to him but he arguments with that I got to hang out with his friends so its only fair, but i dont value those things the way he does.
Am I the asshole here for wanting my own friends?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
LsLdxp9ZlNOBouHRHK4SjXNErzyp49tx
|
b2v6o4
| null |
WIBTA if my asked my ex to go out with me?
|
I (18M) am in high school and I am going to ask my ex (17F) our agin because I would going to the marines to boot camp. For some context, me and my ex were dating for 3 months before she broke up with me because of her dad not letting her go out with me. This happened last year November to be exact. Ever since then we been good friends and we got much closer. Now that i going to ship out in couple months to boot camp. I just wanted to spend time with my couple mouth here with my ex but I feel this can make me a asshole if I asked because I fear this will ruin our friendships for reminding her of our relationship.
P.S I going to ask her today. My honest opinion she will say no
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Pmksmvfg9c15UXIpLHlU0iBCUFFywfaa
|
aae99m
|
{
"description": "getting pissed that my SO told his mom about my mental health without my permission",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting pissed that my SO told his mom about my mental health without my permission?
|
I’ve been battling depression for quite some time and today we got in a huge fight before we were going to her house for dinner. Instead of covering for me and saying we couldn’t make it, he proceeded to say “we can’t make it, life’s hard right now, we think ____ might have depression.” I was livid that he betrayed me like that and i feel like he threw me under the bus. I didn’t want her to know personal details of what I’m battling and if I did, I would have told her. Now I’m just uncomfortable and pissed off at my SO.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
x6ddBRo6fPkKZyOqUou5ikVCTzrLk8Mp
|
b5yavu
|
{
"description": "not giving my girlfriend my earphones",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not giving my girlfriend my earphones?
|
So my girlfriend just told me her earphones broke and asked if i had an extra pair. I have a normal pair of earphones and airpods which I both use them frequently. I told her I have two earphones but I use them both so I can not give it to her. She calls me selfish and gets mad at me. Am I the asshole?
- we don’t live together.
- I’ve only known her for 4 months.
- I could give her my normal pair of earphones but it’s really inconvenient for me to keep disconnecting and reconnecting to my pc or phone.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
51hfZ9KFlRwj1adKCNFgKDjVgcmGvy5V
|
agn9ub
|
{
"description": "not sharing my passcode with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 67,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not sharing my passcode with my boyfriend?
|
My long-time boyfriend took my phone this morning, saying he would give it back once I had made a protein shake for myself (I wanted to shower first). I asked for it back, saying “I don’t want you to snoop in it!” He says that I sounded suspicious, and that I am hiding something (I agree that my phrasing left some to be desired though).
There is evidence that if he has access, he will try to look through my electronics. Once, he told me he knew my password and that he and his brother had tried to unlock my laptop after I left the house with no success. I feel as though this further encourages me to keep passwords to myself.
I don’t want to share my passwords with him for my laptop or phone. I don’t have anything to hide, but I feel that I have a right to privacy. He is a critical person and would find things to pick on me about (“why are you texting your ex-boyfriend? Who is this male that you had a conversation with 8 months ago?” etc). I also feel that it goes both ways. He has never shared his password with me, and I am fine with that. But, this morning, I asked him if, in the same situation, he would give me his passcode, and he said, “no because it’s my password to everything.”
Anyway, he is super pissed now. I think we are at a stalemate.
AITA for not sharing my passcode with my boyfriend?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
lSJoqez7mbZpkp0yFZVXWxYuhTvvC7So
|
azjt52
|
{
"description": "running away after I kissed a girl",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for running away after I kissed a girl?
|
Hi all, I’m using a throwaway for this.
This happened a little while ago, around October. I (14) knew this girl who I kinda liked, and I knew she liked me. Honestly I was too scared to really push for a relationship, so she and I were just friends, mostly. Anyways, I was hanging out behind the school at a football game, and she came over and after a while she kinda leaned in, so asked her if it was okay if I kissed her. This was my first kiss. We kissed, and I guessed I realized I wasn’t ready. Not like, ready for a relationship, but ready to kiss someone. You know that feeling? It’s hard to describe. Immediately afterwords I just had this gut feeling that I was in some way *wrong* and *dirty*. If I had to describe it I would say it felt like I lost a part of my innocence I know l’ll never get back. I just wanted to go home and cry.
So I kinda ran away. It was a douchey thing for me to do, I know. But after a while I knew I had to explain to this girl why I did that, so I found her and talked to her. I told her that I really didn’t feel ready for something like that, and I apologized for running away. I thought i cleared things up with her, but . . .
The next day, I wake up to my phone being blown up. It was her friends, calling me a dick for “using her”. They said the only reason I talked to her was to fuck her, and that when I found out that she wouldn’t fuck me I ditched her. They called me worse things and are still talking about it.
I’m really confused. Did I really do something *that* wrong???
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
5ptIAyHoBVSYFloNAmEQVuGMLldZU2ej
|
b1t2v2
| null |
AITA
|
Ok so there’s this woman who keeps finding and HARASSING me and my girlfriend in public, it started off with the two “I don’t work here lady” posts I made on here well turns out somehow she saw those posts and had gone as far as finding out where I live and constantly vandalizing my property. She even went as far as spray painting the words “you and your wh*re girlfriend are f*gs” now my girlfriend is trans and I love her more than the world so it pissed me off a lot to see this, anyway I knew her kids cuz they went to the same school as my little sister so I had a chat with them (all while recording audio) they ended up hugging me and begging me to help them because their mother ABUSES them I took pictures of there marks and sent the photos as well as the voice recording into the police along with evidence of vandalism she’s since been arrested and I’m starting to think that I went a little too far since she’ll be held for 5-10 years depending on her behaviour and I feel bad since she won’t be able too see her amazing children grow up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
E8XP33PBv87E6KrQkYGJQJNttRbv0IXn
|
b4ktdl
|
{
"description": "cheering on the team I coach during a blowout",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for cheering on the team I coach during a blowout
|
So my sister's soccer team was playing today (all the players are 15-17) and their coach couldn't make it so I filled in for the game. Both teams didn't have any subs, but our team was just way better than the opponents and we were 4-0 up after just a few minutes. The final score ended up being 10-0 and we were cheering our asses off after every goal. I don't think there's anything wrong with celebrating my sister's success but after the game my mom told us that we were cheering too hard and it was rude to the other team. I don't really agree with that, I feel like it's part of the game, but I wanted to get some outside opinions on it. We weren't trash talking the other team or anything, we were just celebrating our own players when they did good
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
hF8ODpj9znkdMMvX9ZVlGA6OeSyMP3qN
|
b3yji4
|
{
"description": "informing my professor about people cheating",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for informing my professor about people cheating?
|
So to make a long story short, I'm in a Spanish II class. I sit next to this one girl, who spends almost all of class period texting her boyfriend on her Apple watch, and uses her Apple watch for almost every single quiz and test. My professor never even notices this - I don't think she's even aware of what Apple watches are.
Anyways, I admit it pisses me off, because I (and others I know in the class) spend a LOT of time studying for that class - I feel like Spanish is something that you really just have to commit to learning in order to actually succeed in, and it definitely takes time and effort. So when I see this girl just cheating on every single assignment, it irks me. I ended up shooting the professor an email, with this verbatim:
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Dr. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_!
This is \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ from SPA 102. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up, that you might want to have students remove their Apple watches before quizzes and tests. For the last quiz, I noticed someone was using theirs to look at the vocabulary words. Apple watches have a lot of features, including looking at pictures and texting people.
Hope this helps!
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Was this an asshole move of me, though? I literally wouldn't have given a shit if she'd done it once or twice - I get that sometimes things happen. But the fact that she does it every single class/test/quiz bothers me. She's getting an A for free while the rest of us are getting lower grades for hours of studying. Is it none of my business, though?
​
Thanks for any advice!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 18,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
YJpdgNzI0wp3QdJ39x35qmnpL0pYPuz6
|
al2yfy
| null |
AITA for laughing?
|
Hey, so this happened a couple of days ago in science class at school. The teacher was talking to the class basically mid project, so I turned to look at her, and my friend was doing weird and funny stuff right next to the teacher. Of course, I couldn't avoid seeing her without seeing the teacher, and it was funny, so I laughed a tiny bit while trying to keep in my laughter. It wasn't a full on laugh either, it was basically a breath in and out my nose that represented a laugh. The teacher turned to me and scolded me saying stuff like "do you find that funny? Huh? Do you find her trying to distract the class funny? That is disrespectful!" So of course, I responded "okay, first of all,(not in a disrespectful manner either) I don't think she was trying to distract anyone, she was just moving a bit. But it looked funny, so I laughed" and she snapped back with "WELL, YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO LAUGH WHILE IM TEACHING!" to me, that makes no sense. I tried to hold in laughter, some laughter is impossible to hold in. So basically, I got in trouble for something I couldn't control. She was being angry and rude now so I got annoyed and said "yeah I get that, it can be distracting b-" and then she interrupted me with "THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT?!" bitch, don't cut me off. I continued my sentence "as I was saying before you interrupted me, BUT you can't really control laughter and how funny you find things. So you yelled at me for a uncontrollable action. Nice." She responded with "*lip smack* WELL YOU CAN!" and the other teacher who happened to be at my table said " yeah you really can" that's two teachers that don't understand how humor works... I said loudly so they could both hear "no you can't, do you not understand how humor works? If something is funny enough or the right kind of funny, you can't control it!" And then the teacher at my table says "yeah, you can control it, just don't laugh" and I said kind of under my breath but loud enough for her to hear "no you really can't but sure buddy" the kids at my table (three other kids that are my friends and one that we both hate each other) all agreed loudly with me. AITA for doing this? For sticking up for myself from a teacher? Let me know please
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
ksmEldozUwdp3tkw1sBxJFMjT5cJGVr1
|
b43fcf
|
{
"description": "wanting to repay someone and girlfriend gets mad and threatens me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to repay someone and girlfriend gets mad and threatens me
|
First time posting
Gf=girlfriend me us me girl=tutor and gg boyfrien
So this just recently happened to me and I am in school so I need anatomy to pass and graduate as I am a senior.so my girlfriend got me a tutor that is one of her friends and I was at a 41 when she helped me out.the tutor is a girl BTW and she has also got new up to a passing grade at 63 so as I wanted to repay her I asked if she wanted go out to eat.The tutor also has a boyfriend and my girlfriend are good friends.so I was texting my girlfriend and she is made I'm going out with her for a bit and I said that everything works out in the end.my girlfriend response was not everything works out if you go through with your plan.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
INmtRe1DPyn3h8fuwrrtwQU2pCtVD44M
|
b2n4mx
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend's mom to stop calling my girlfriend fat",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend’s mom to stop calling my girlfriend fat.
|
So my gf is kinda self conscious about her weight and I always try and comfort her and things like that. Her mom well say she looks pregnant and call her fat and this makes her really upset. So today my gf texts me and says my mom keeps calling me fat . So I go ahead ,without telling my gf that I’m doing this , and text her mom asking if she could please not do this because she’s trying to lose weight. She responds to my gf and starts yelling at her and saying how I don’t have the right to say anything, and about how she’s the mother.
Anyway that’s all thanks.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
WO3XkJxuUMQKEMXDcjymmjn8tPPivygJ
|
az7mtj
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my friends over scuffed plans",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friends over scuffed plans?
|
So my friend, let's call him H, has been my best friend for a long time, we've been through thick and thin together, and we usually get along very well, there's hardly any arguments between us. However, this weekend was different, an argument arose, and I would like to know if my handling of the situation was asshole behavior.
So H has been dating my other best friend, W, for about a year and a half now. Seeing the two of them being happy together is always great, but there are some downsides. The two of them essentially use me as a free couples therapist, because I've known both of them very well and because I am an ok listener. This does mean that a lot of the times I get one on one with each of them is usually spent listening to their issues and trying to help. Now, I don't necessarily mind this, I like to help when I can, but it's seemed like when I want to talk to them about something either something comes up or they're unavailable because they're going on a date. This weekend, however, they were going out on Friday night, meaning that I could hang out with one of them Saturday provided they were available, so I asked. H said he was busy all that day, but W was free, so plans were made for Saturday. Then comes the weekend.
We get to Friday and H calls me up asking if I want to hang out out of nowhere. I told him that I had taken a shift for that night, and asked what happened to their date. He told me she wasn't up for it that night, but it was all good, because they were just going to spend Saturday together instead. So there's me all of a sudden having made plans around their schedule being thrown to the side, and I wasn't having it.
I got mad, and started going off on both of them, telling them how it felt like i wasn't really a friend to them anymore I was just free counseling, someone who listens and tries to help, and that I didn't really matter to either of them because whenever I needed help they weren't there. Their response was 'Sorry you feel that way, but you need to get over yourself, you're acting like a selfish child.’
Are they right, am I being the selfish asshole here and should I have handled this differently?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lGgbzUqLUVqB1pFCdE7WiAGSkav8KmK2
|
at418q
|
{
"description": "cutting off ties with my over jealous friend",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For cutting off ties with my over jealous friend
|
(Sorry if this looks bad I'm on mobile.)
So here's some back story, I'm a senior in high school and this friend is a sophomore now I have a rule called 1 up 1 down meaning I'll only date someone one year above or below me not any higher or lower. She likes me I do not because of my rule and I've never broken that rule so she doesn't like it. For a while now she has been super touchy and over obsessive and even when I would ask many times for her to chill out she wouldn't or stop for a while then start back up. Also whenever I would leave school she would get mad if I didn't give her a hug as if she deserved it or I owed her. Now this alone causes me issues first off she talks to her friends about things like hugging me for 7 minutes and things like that which messes with my reputation because it looks like I'm dating someone two years younger than me (and that's what a lot of people think) and one of her close friends is the girl I like and this magnet of a person has been messing it up for me.
Now I've been able to handle all of this so far but the new issue she has caused is that she is now jealous of my other Freshman friend because she thinks she likes me which I know she doesn't because we talk about people we like and she shows no signs at all of liking me. I told her this but she persisted saying she likes me and that she was going to make me get rid of my rule. I did all I could but she wouldn't listen and would get mad that my friend poked me ONCE. After all of that, I couldn't take it anymore and just told her I don't want to be friends anymore and I stopped talking to her.
Now to me, it seemed like I did no wrong but my friends have made me seem and feel like the asshole so tell me Reddit AITA.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
j60dAOM8XGs6C64VbxsUrCMsUaJFqzb5
|
b8sl7v
|
{
"description": "not buying my cousins stuff from Asia",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not buying my cousins stuff from Asia?
|
I’m currently travelling Asia with my dad and have so far been to Korea and Japan. Dad and I (but mostly me) bought loads of stuff and snacks that I ended up having to store some of my things in his luggage, and we ended up paying extra for overweighted luggage :))
Since my cousin 1 found out that I was going, he has been asking for lots of stuff from Korea and Japan ranging from large amount of a specific candy to designer clothing to skincare. He has even sent me a list of stuff in a order of priority (what he wanted the most to least). Cousin 2 casually asked me for 5 bottles of sunscreen and cousin 3 asked me for 5 tongue scrapers. I don’t mind buying presents if it’s small and light, but it was quite the opposite for half of the stuff (cousin 1 wanted me to buy a denim jacket???)
I did promise to look for it IF I HAD SPACE but I never once felt reassured that it was fine if I didn’t bring anything home and in a way feel pressured to buy their stuff if that makes sense?
My passive aggressive dad wasn’t too fond of the idea of buying presents and kept asking whether or not they brought stuff home for me when I asked for it. My boyfriend agrees with my dad and stresses that I should just buy stuff for myself and not go around looking for stuff for others.
I managed to buy one thing for cousin 1 and cousin 2 and none for cousin 3.
I sort of feel bad now for coming home with not much when they are expecting stuff.
IATA for not buying my cousins stuff from Asia?
- I am also sorry if nothing makes sense and apologise for any grammatical errors.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
dCDF3bDDpMOyd843U7DzbREdo7cfFKIs
|
aipgze
|
{
"description": "not helping a classmate",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not helping a classmate?
|
Hello all,
I am a high school student currently enrolled in AP Computer Science A, a (high school context) fairly difficult programming course centered around Java. Recently we were assigned to write a small program, and had the whole 3-day weekend to do it. It was a fairly easy assignment considering what we have had already.
A friend texted me over the weekend about how to do a specific part. He is a bright kid and would like to pursue a career in programming. I figured the part he was asking about was easy enough that he could figure it out in a few minutes with some thinking, so I just told him to figure it out.
Today, the Tuesday after MLK Jr. day, I learned that he was really bitter after that exchange. In hindsight, my offhanded comment seems lazy and/or snobby, but I really did think he was more than capable of doing it himself.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
3wbZuzDmszc1kb2DgLCHuqe4fZXdFbsV
|
a966i5
|
{
"description": "possibly ruining my family's trip? and now planning another with them",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for possibly ruining my family’s trip? And now planning another with them?
|
Sorry for the length in advance.
Earlier this year my family and I went on a trip. It was quite spiritual and some could call it a life-changing experience. It was our first time to this place which holds great importance to our religion.
The trip was planned about 6-8 weeks prior to us going and was kind of spontaneous.
I had been sick for a while before this trip ( like for 8 months).
Anyways, for about roughly 3-4 days on the trip (the trip was a total of like ~23 days I think) my condition escalated to where I was in bed and struggling to get up and even leave the hotel room. I repeatedly told everyone it was okay and I just needed some rest and all the stress and jet lag was getting to me and maybe triggering some symptoms.
The first day it happened and I got through it, I even ended up going out with them all that night. The second time my husband stayed back with me and then later in the day my sister volunteered to stay with me for about an hour while he went for a prayer. My mom was worried so she stayed back too despite me telling her to go.
After this I was fine for a few days ( by fine I mean my sickness was okay enough for me to get out of bed). I was still struggling to feel okay and could definitely feel the decline in my health but I kept it to myself mostly. I really wanted to take advantage of the trip and every opportunity. So I stocked my purse with anything I would need for the day (extra sweater and socks, pills, water, etc) and would go at it and give it the best I could. I even started doing things to prove my own strength to myself (I know, it’s weird) like standing even if I knew I needed to sit or continuing to walk even though I knew I needed a break. I didn’t want this stupid sickness to get in the way of this wonderful meaningful trip with my family.
After a few days I was in bed for a day again but convinced everyone I would be fine and to go ahead the next day while I stayed back. Well next morning everyone wakes up and my little sister has a fever so we decide she will stay back with me and I will watch her for the day. That was great actually. It worked out for everyone and we were kinda like sick buddies. That night we both felt better enough to go out with them all.
After that there was one more day I struggled a bit to get up but I forced myself to anyways.
All in all, we deemed the trip a success and we had an enjoyable time (or so I thought).
So fast forward to a few days ago. We’re talking about planning a trip we’re thinking to take in the new year and someone brings up the trip from earlier this year and my brother says “well let’s hope constant-curiosity isn’t sick as the last trip or else nobody will enjoy this one either” to which everyone was kinda shocked and nobody said anything. My mom told him “what do you mean? We all enjoyed that trip “. Then he replied “well it’s not enjoyable when your sister is just sick all the time and then ruins a family trip”.
I’m not gonna lie it hurt. But then I realized that I could be guilty of this. I ruined the family trip because of the days I spent in bed? Since the trip I had thought about how maybe it would have been better if I stayed home and even had a conversation with my mom and sister a few times and brought it up. But it never occurred to me I could have ruined the entire trip for him and them all.
I could really be the asshole here by even going on the trip. I’m starting to believe I should back out of the one we’re currently planning before I sabotage a trip again.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vtxgQhPOvAEDCnYWNUcvwGmTkOEuEe5J
|
avwe34
|
{
"description": "refusing to get my coworker water every time she asks",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to get my coworker water every time she asks
|
Ok let me set the stage - TL:DR at the bottom
⚠️MOBILE WARNING⚠️
I (AKA “B” for the story) work in a market place in which multiple other people help out and do similar tasks however I get there earlier than a few of the other workers
Imagine a birds eye view
- At the bottom is the car park
- In the middle there is the main shed
- To the right of the main shed is the cool room which is connected via a door
- At the top are the desks/checkout area
So my co-worker lets call her “X” always parks her car in the car park walks through the main shed and to the desks without fail every work night and always asks after about 30-50 mins hey “B” could you go get me a slab of water from the cool room, the first and second time I got them no problem the third time “X” asked, I said “why don’t you get it when you walk through” and she just ignored me the the fourth time after I got it that “get it on your way in cause I’m not gonna get it for you”
Here’s where the story starts, “X” asks yet again for the 5th time asks and I tell her “no I’m not going to get it for you” “X” says please I tell her “I told you last time I’m not gonna get it if you ask” so “X” leaves to go get her water and is all pouty and I think to myself “ah she’ll get over it” well boy was I wrong, my other two coworkers at the desk (they’re usually there by the time I get there and “X” gets there later than me) come up to me and berate me with “why didn’t you get her water” ect ect and all 3 of the workers at the desk (“X” and the other two) were mad at me for the whole night
TL:DR my coworkers got mad at me cause I didn’t get one of them water after the fifth seperate occasion they asked and telling them I wasn’t gonna get it next time after the fourth
So am I really the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1fdaMhzlawZPeiTVEiwuWaKAWzBHQ5zG
|
9tj2de
|
{
"description": "calling out my friend for being racist",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling out my friend for being racist?
|
The starts at lunch. Earlier that day, all of our teachers made us watch a video that discussed the problems of living below the poverty line. It mentioned welfare checks.
During lunch, my friend brings it up. I say how I think welfare is good, but some people use it to purchase expensive clothing. My friend (who is very conservative) says “I think that’s a problem because black people spend their welfare on nice shoes.”
I call him out immediately saying how incredibly racist that is. He defends himself by saying “well it is true that a lot of black people like nice shoes”
I reply by saying other people also like nice shoes. I said that he could have said that certain people who receive welfare spend it on nice shoes, but he opened it up to only black people and assumed that all black people who receive welfare spend it on shoes.
During this discussion, the table next to us (which is all black people and one white guy) starts yelling at him for being incredibly racist. The next day, he doesn’t go into school. I get called down into the office to explain what happened, so I did. They said that I did nothing wrong at all. This kid, let’s call him Gym, calls me asking why I always challenge his political views. I tell him because if I were to say something very liberal (which I am), would he not argue it?
He always gets mad at me when I talk to him about politics, even when he starts the discussion, because I always win because I look up numerous articles. This is not the first time he said something racist around the table as well. AITA for calling him out?
TLDR; I called a friend out for being racist, and the table next to us got mad. He didn’t go to school the next day.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
a194x5
|
{
"description": "missing my Ex's mums wedding",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for missing my Ex's mums wedding
|
basically A girl that dated a few years ago mother was getting married her me and now step dad started dating roughy the same time as we did. fast forward two years after we broke up her mum contacts me out of the blue to invite me to her wedding. now i don't have any problems with her mum or step dad but I get really uncomfortable about going because the relationship ended of bad terms. so I politely declined the invitation but wish them luck and congratulated them
​
My ex contacted me a few days after i missed the wedding saying that i was a dick for not turning up and that I was rude for telling her mum I didn't want to go because shed be their. bearing in mind she hasn't spoken to me in close to 3 years. Basically her mum was disappointed I didn't go and blamed her for it.
​
I guess I just feel like a ass hole because I caused shit that could of been avoided if I showed up for abar 5 minutes
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
H1v2iJuDghBrSh1NnyQLTU7hxi0m25Om
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az4jfc
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{
"description": "getting mad that I got an STI from a threesome",
"pronormative_score": 45,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting mad that I got an STI from a threesome?
|
My partner and I decided to get kinky (for us) so he blindfolded me and had me listen to music with noise cancelling headphones. He ended up inviting a stranger over and he let the stranger fuck me. I didn’t know about his whole plan until the guy got there and I felt his hands on me. I didn’t want to break the scene or disappoint my partner, so I didn’t explicitly ask if condoms were being used. Fast forward a few days and I’m at the urgent care with a kidney infection and chlamydia. My partner said that they didn’t use condoms and he won’t tell me who the other guy is because he thinks I’ll scare him off. I lost my shit with my partner because I feel like I’m the only one suffering. AITA because I didn’t want to ask an awkward question in the middle of a scene?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
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|
b5k7ub
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{
"description": "cutting my mom off",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting my mom off
|
My husband and I recently surprised our families that we are pregnant with baby #2. Got our kid a shirt that says he’s gonna be a big brother. We told most of my husbands side first as my family was first to know for our 1st baby. When we FaceTimed my mom and excitedly showed her the shirt her response was, ‘what am I the last to know?!’. She then rambled on about other news in her life and ignored ours. I kind of expected this from her as she is very negative about everything and the world revolves around her, I’m pretty certain she’s a narcissist. But it still really hurt me and I have been ignoring her since we told her, just over 2 weeks ago. She finally texted today asking if something was wrong as I have not been answering her texts and she feels cut out, this is after having a convo with my brother where he basically told her why I’m ignoring her as she didn’t pick up on it. So AITA for not wanting to talk to her? I don’t really even know what to say to her as I’m still so mad and upset that she cant just be happy for us.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b5w4in
|
{
"description": "wishing I was meaner to someone after the fact",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wishing I was meaner to someone after the fact?
|
So just over a month ago I matched with this girl on Bumble. Super cute, nerdy, we got on insanely well. It was the only time I really felt that dating apps might actually yield something meaningful. Every day we'd send these long messages back and forth, which was awesome, and eventually she asked me for my details so we could talk outside off the app. This was also great for me given how easily I tend to get lost in small talk with matches until they fizzle out, and I appreciated her taking the initiative. We started speaking more regularly until last Friday where I plucked up the nerve to ask her out in a roundabout way.
No reply for 3 days.
This morning she gets in touch again and apologises for not responding as she was busy over the weekend and exhausted from some personal stuff. I don't push it as the rest of her message was still conversational though I did sense something was a bit off. We make small talk about her weekend, but her messages are starting to get a bit erratic. Do you know when can tell that someones tried to edit a message a few times before sending it because the sentence structure and punctuation doesn't quite make sense? Like they've tried to rewrite a message but didn't properly read it through before hitting send?
Yeah it was like that. I figured out why.
She was waiting for me to notice her Facebook relationship status (lol). She'd posted earlier in the day (about the time she got back in touch) that she's now in a relationship. Naturally I was thrown, but clearly I wasn't the only one she was talking to.
I mull it over for a bit, then just send what I think was a courteous message despite how I felt. I just said how I noticed her status, that it'd been fun talking to her but because weren't looking for the same thing anymore I should probably bow out. I tried really hard to not be an asshole about it, though I was (and still am) a bit hurt that she didn't bring it up first.
She replied literally 10 seconds later simply saying "Fair enough, all the best :)". I didn't wait for anything else, but then proceeded to delete/block her from all social media etc.
I know it's just a Bumble match, but after like five weeks of fairly intense conversation I can't help but feel a bit of a fool here. I wasn't an asshole about it, but I kinda feel she was in waiting for me to say something and give her an out instead of her being upfront about it.
I kinda feel like an asshole here for wishing I'd been more confrontational about it, but on the other hand I question whether or not she was actually being an asshole herself or was just not sure how to bring it up (meaning there were no assholes here).
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
aytj2q
|
{
"description": "describing someone is fat while talking to another fat person",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
Aita for describing someone is fat while talking to another fat person? (more in comments)
|
I didn't even realize what I had said til I got home that night. I feel awful. My Co worker is really nice and we get along great. I was just describing how poorly our meeting went with the other branch and said something along the lines of how I couldn't belive so in so was trying to micro manage us from another branch. My Co worker responded with one of the guys names and I said idk the fat one... We kept talking and nothing seems off but I feel like a dick. Do I let this go or apologize?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
1TWIJyTNPaduvFXf7ve0aa3aW70rTmSd
|
ammmir
|
{
"description": "firing my wedding photographer",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for firing my wedding photographer?
|
Sorry for the long story.. there's a lot of history here. Tl;dr below.
We hired a photographer around the time we got engaged and our package came with an engagement photo session. We paid the required deposit upon booking. After we did the shoot, a couple months went by and we didn't receive our photos. We reached out and she said she was editing them and would get them to us soon, and apologized.
Weeks went by and we still didn't hear back so we checked again. She said she had already uploaded them and sent a link, but we couldn't find anything in our inboxes so we asked again. She replied, saying she was thinking of a different couple and would upload them asap. Not long after, she sent a message stating her hard drive crashed and she lost all photos from every shoot she didn't back up, which included ours. She apologized profusely and offered a reshoot, along with an extra photo session in the fall to make up for it.
Shortly before the reshoot, she told us she needed to reschedule for reasons I can't remember, so we did. We finally got them done, and got the photos surprisingly quickly. We loved them and we were excited for the second session later in the fall.
The night before the free session (October), she cancelled because her entire family was sick. We rescheduled the session for a couple weeks later. The day of our cancelled session, she was posting photos and videos on Facebook of her daughter's birthday party. Everyone, including her, looked happy and healthy.
The rescheduled free session (November) was a sunrise shoot, and since it was fall, it was bitter cold outside. We were outside with no jacket or warm clothes for well over an hour during the shoot so it was miserable, but it didn't seem like a huge issue at the time.
We just got a link to the photos a couple days ago, January 31st. Every photo looked extremely awkward and uncomfortable, pretty much because of the cold weather. We weren't happy with them at all.
Throughout the whole year, she always took a really long time to respond to emails, and constantly created excuses for her lack of response or cancellations. A few days ago, she even casually told my fiancee her husband (the videographer) is going back to school and won't have as much time to practice filming or editing, and said she'd have to pick up some slack taking care of their kids so she'd be busier.
After talking it through with my fiancee, I emailed her this morning explaining we'd like to part ways and be refunded our deposit, minus her standard rate for a 1 hour session. We liked the first shoot and think it's fair she be paid for it.
She didn't reply, and instead Facebook messaged my fiancee, explaining her confusion, and said she's extremely upset about the situation. After my fiancee replied and listed some more specific reasons we weren't comfortable with her anymore, she didn't respond. I emailed her again, stating we'd like to keep correspondence over email to keep things professional. We're now working through options for our refund per our contract, but it feels like a really awkward breakup and we both feel horrible for firing her. All her emails have a bitter, petty vibe. It wasn't meant to be personal or emotional, but we know she's making it personal and that's very uncomfortable to us.
Tl;dr Our wedding photographer took forever to respond every time, lost our first engagement session photos, and gave us a free shoot in return. She canceled/rescheduled both reshoots and gave excuses. After firing her, she made it personal and uncomfortable for us.
Edit: I just remembered that we only found a couple reviews of her business because she seems to delete them, and they're both negative.
Edit 2: She stopped arguing and said she will refund us the amount we asked for. She said it will have to wait until her husband's school loan arrives this week, because he's going back to school. It's clearly just a freelance side hustle because I feel like any legitimate service should have its own financial system in place, but I'm no business owner so maybe that's completely normal.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Xr3qO2Xw9YCcGoiMiMTtvyBlpPOczs23
|
9v43gs
|
{
"description": "fighting this girl",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for fighting this girl
|
I’m 15M (sophomore), the girl is 16 (almost 17, she’s 01’ I’m 03’). So basically, this girl and her friends have been bothering me pretty much every day since the start of the school year. We all used to be cool but the girl caught feelings for me that I couldn’t reciprocate so eventually I guess she began to despise me or something. I didn’t mean anything by it and I still wanted to be cool with her and her friends, and for a short while we were.
Out of the blue a couple months ago (start of the school year) they all became toxic asf and constantly disrespectful. Anytime I snapped back they would play the victim. On numerous occasions they tried to humiliate me by getting all together and “jumping me” which is basically them all pushing me around, punching me, slapping me, and pulling on my hair. For some reason I brushed this off and still tried to be cool with them, (probably my own ego and not being able to sit with the fact that a group of girls basically bullied me) I tried to flip the positions of power and act like I was the bigger person by ignoring their tirades of assault.
Every day it became more and more obnoxious until today. I finally snapped. Before I was never really hurt or cared too much about it, but today... The girl brought up some pretty personal and insulting things about my family and said it loud enough so she could “expose” me. She then punched me, right in my nose. (It was actually bleeding) I couldn’t take it, I lost my cool. I ended up pushing her and kicking her to the ground as she turned around. Her friends jumped in and beat on me too. They were much smaller so I could easily ignore them, she was the biggest and quite close to my size (I’m 6 2 she’s 6 0 and quite strong) She proceeded to get back up and slap me a couple times, real fucking kangaroo slaps, I was going to reciprocate with real man punches but my boys had to hold me back. Then I realized everybody was looking and realized how crazy and abusive I must look. A man beating on a girl. I really don’t have a temper until someone really gets me heated like by doing what she did, I just lost it though.
Obviously I don’t like hitting women and I don’t think it makes me hard or whatever. I would never put my hands on a woman but today... idk it’s like when someone hits you hard enough so you really feel that physical pain combined with when someone brings up such a large emotional trigger in you, you have no other option than to get physical. Maybe my logic is backwards, AITA?
TL;DR
Upper classmates and her friends jumped me. They were all beating on me until he biggest girl who is basically my size brought up very personal things about my family and my own life and used it to insult me, while shouting it so everybody could hear. She then proceeded to throw a big ol hook right at me, striking my nose (it was bleeding later), I reciprocated by pushing her and kicking her to the floor. (Not stomping on her) Her and her friends continued to beat on me. The big girl slapped me with all the force of her backhand like three times and I was going to punch her in the face until my friends held me back and cooled me down.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
ajkh47
|
{
"description": "being mad at my mom because she thinks I shouldn't be able to drive",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my mom because she thinks I shouldn't be able to drive?
|
My parents have always thought that me (14, almost 15F,) should be able to get my permit when I'm 15 and then drive when I turn 16. They both agree that driving is an important skill to have and they want me to drive me and my brother to and from school. I brought up this topic after dinner the other day, seeing as I'm turning 15 very soon, and turns out my mother had a change of heart.
She now thinks that I don't need to drive until I'm 18 and it would be worthless to let me get my license. Now, I strongly disagree because I want to be able to hang out with friends, and more importantly, drive to school and any summer job/internship/volunteer work. I argued with her a bit, asking if she would be willing to drive me around during the summer and she agreed. I know this is not viable AT ALL because she has a job definitely would not be able to drive me to and from the zoo everyday for me to volunteer.
My dad, on the other hand, completely agrees with me. He thinks there is a very good reason why I should be able to drive and fully supports me in this argument.
I am pretty upset with my mother because she's always been okay with me driving when I'm 16 (perhaps even more than okay, seeing as she offered to buy me a car) and now she suddenly thinks driving is a dumb idea for me. There are plenty of good reasons why I should be able to drive, but in my eyes, it seems like my mom is flat out ignoring all of them.
So what do you think guys? Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
4mOhOOZAQOSS2ohDOt9Z02URkUVco5mJ
|
aj982u
|
{
"description": "feeling hurt about being left out",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling hurt about being left out?
|
Some background, my bff and I wanted to form a Dungeons and Dragons group for a while, we've both played before and wanted a group together. We've been struggling to find players until bff said his friend (R) had a D&D group and could use extra players. I've actually meet R before, super nice, easygoing. However one of the other members of the group said she didnt want me to join. She actually said, "it's not because shes a girl, it's because we shouldn't let friends of friends join." (I thought this was weird because gender was never mentioned). However bff was still invited and because he has a hard time making friends with his social anxiety I told him he should go. He responded by saying he would make sure they meet me soon so I could join too, after all the whole point was to play together. But it's been a while though and it doesnt look like they're even trying to make plans to meet me, especially considering I dont think the girl who made the 'no friend of friends' rule wants to meet me at all. I'm feeling hurt and left out because the whole reason to get into this sad to play together, but I feel selfish saying that because I told him he should go in the first place. I want to bring it up to him but I also feel like I should know before I talk to him if I'm the asshole
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
rurxzRooHpSVG7Th1kpBBRm6MbVVaSel
|
azb91w
| null |
AITA-Blew up at friend who outed my mental disorders to strangers
|
So for context, I have a lot of disorders. I don't mean to try for a medal at the oppression Olympics, but I've had a pretty horrible life that left me with trauma, self hatred and other issues. When I told my parents that I was struggling with incredibly severe OCD, anxiety, and depression, I was abused for years. I've been called a freak, retard, monster, etc. My friend, who I'll call K, knows this very well. I've told her multiple times that I'm very uncomfortable with bringing up my mental health with new people because I'm afraid they'll leave/laugh/be disgusted/whatever else.
Now to the main story. Some family friends came over. K and I got into an argument at the dinner table, where she brought up once again my apparent idiocy and poor taste for not liking one of her favorite movies. I've heard this over and over, so I snapped and told her to quit being a snowflake about it (she calls me a snowflake all the time, so I bit back). Then she replies back with something like:
"You're the snowflake with your whole load of crazy mental shit like your OCD and PTSD that put you in a psych ward twice!"
I was mortified. I knew that K is the type to brush off an insult like "snowflake" because she knows she isn't one. I guess I should've saw the reverse card coming, but I didn't expect her to out my mental health like that. I just left the table and went to go cry in my room (I live with her family). Later, she came down because her dad had told her that she fucked up. She asked to come in. I swung the door open and said, "What the fuck do you want!?"
K calmly explained that her dad had sent her down here and that she wanted to apologize, though she didn't think what she said was that bad. I very angrily told her that I'd told her several times to never "out" me to strangers, that her calling me a snowflake when I almost died of neglect in my parents' care was a shitty thing to do, and that I didn't spend 10 years suffering to be called a snowflake, and that it was horrible of her to expose my mental health history in front of people to embarrass and hurt me.
K says sorry but says, "I just didn't think it was that big of a deal. You gotta stop vilifying me. I forgot that you told me to not bring that up. I didn't do it to spite you."
I said that in my opinion, she did because why else would she bring up something so personal, and that she should be more aware of my feelings and that it should be common courtesy to refrain from telling your friend's secrets to strangers. She still didn't know what the big deal was. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
IRXaNCfpJwVBL3HLF8oyhfaP6XNJVptk
|
b4ybaw
|
{
"description": "being upset my ex and my friend slept together",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset my ex and my friend slept together?
|
Back story:
My gf and my best friend would talk a lot about stuff, just random things, and I liked it that they were close. I don’t think any thing happened while me and her were together but within a seemingly short time(not sure how long exactly), a few months I know, they were sleeping together after we broke up. So I can’t help but think that at least mentally they had a thing going. Besides, that is just shitty I think?
Moral dilemma:
Is this a situation where I can’t get mad because technically we had broken up right? If it makes a difference, I broke up with her.
So here is the AITA part:
My ex wants to get back together (it’s been a few years) and in restarting talking to me admitted the sex with best friend thing above. I thought they just continued their friendship. I didn’t hang around my friend while he was with my ex and he never mentioned this to me or even having feelings for her. I connected the dots in the convo of her trying to reignite the flame and getting her to admit to my suspicions was like pulling teeth. Her saying, “it shouldn’t matter”/“I was in a weird place”, and me saying “but it does to me”. I don’t talk the friend anymore for no particular reason, he was just kind of a bum I realized as I got older. So she also argues that he was never really a good friend anyways.
In short I think they crossed a line that can’t be uncrossed.
Note: The relationship is past reigniting. There’s no way we could or should try again with this toxic cloud hanging over us, or at least me. But really, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
Oau11Ph9c5TuGcQz3NXEjXAQocUsy9ST
|
9ymigm
|
{
"description": "not wanting to give a puppy away for free",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to give a puppy away for free?
|
My brother and I adopted a purebred Husky that had been abandoned by our neighbors when they moved (Lost their lease). We found out shortly thereafter that she was pregnant with what turned out to be also purebred (but not papered) puppies. My brother doesn’t work, so I paid all of the vet fees, food and supplies -which added up to a few thousand dollars. We decided to adopt the puppies out since I already have another dog and don’t have the space to keep them all. Anyway, we decided on a reasonable adoption fee and posted them once they were 8 weeks old. We had several people inquire, almost exclusively looking for female pups (there were 2 females and 3 males in the litter). One couple emailed us saying they couldn’t pay the fee, but they are disabled vets who homeschool their two kids and also somehow care for 40 animals and train companion dogs and could we please give them a pup for free, and they specifically “need” the red female. I offered to give them a discount on one of the male pups (basically asked how much they could afford), but they “needed the red female” and she had to be free. I said no for the following reasons:
a) if you can’t afford what we’re asking (and it’s not much) for a purebred puppy, there are PLENTY of mixed breed puppies that need homes
b) I did pay for all of her care, food, supplies, shots worming and vet checks for all the pups and would like to recover some of that, especially since I didn’t know she was pregnant when we took her in, so it was an unexpected expense that came from my savings
c) the red female is the one everyone wants
d) if they can’t afford an adoption fee, how will they afford vet bills?
My brother (who has paid for nothing) got pissed and thinks I’m being a bitch and should give them the pup for free because of their sob story. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
xdslR20tiyXMjHJqipwC8IgbRl5LiMwj
|
b2xcz7
|
{
"description": "being pissed at how fast mom is marrying after years of abusive relationships",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being pissed at how fast mom is marrying after years of abusive relationships?
|
This is gonna be a long one. So, to summarize, my parents 20 years marriage was shit, with physical, financial and emotional abuse ensuing. Mother was always adamant about not leaving, for multiple reasons (money, love, me, etc) but actually she was just stuck in the co-dependant mud and didn't want anyone to know. Last year, father left her for his cousin, and she was BATSHIT. Random tinder dates, drinking, etc. When one of the dates left her, she was actually drinking a whole wine bottle in 1-2 days (she doesn't drink), and emotionally blackmailing me when I was out for "abandoning her when she most needed". Recently, she met this guy, whom she has know for 5 months, and they're planning to live together, with marriage and children in mind (she doesn't even earn enough for supporting just the two of us). It pisses me off how irresponsible and boy-crazy she can be, as this poses a risk for us both, since we're women and she barely knows the guy; and as an abuse victim, she should know WAY better than this. He's already living with us, and she plans to sell our house and buy another with him. So I've been pretty avoidant, staying out of home as long as I can (even choosing to study at another town so I can be out all day), and I might or might not been a bitch when I see her, because the guy is always there, and I remember I don't feel safe at my own house. I already talked to her about this and she threw a lot of shade at me, like "why do you mind? you don't even stay home anymore". I told her I'm planning to move out if the guy actually stays, and she was devastated. Maybe I am being an asshole, but I don't know where and what I can do about it.
tldr: After years of abuse marriage, mom calls tinder date she has know for 5 months to live with us and I'm pissed.
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{
"description": "telling my boyfriend he can't adopt a cat that looks identical to mine *that died 3 weeks ago",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
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|
AITA for telling my boyfriend he can't adopt a cat that looks identical to mine *that died 3 weeks ago?
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My boyfriend has been considering pet adoption for a few months now, and recently decided to begin looking. We went to the pet shelter last weekend, and he was drawn to one cat in particular. Out of 40 other cats in the room, he was sold on this all black, large female cat. That's fine, they're the best, but I'm a bit biased since I had one of my own. My cat got out of the house about 3 weeks ago and while we searched everywhere for her and tried every possible idea, it is likely she has died. She was my first pet and my home still doesn't feel the same without her. I teared up when I saw the cat my boyfriend was considering, she reminded me of my own.
​
I would be completely on board this black cat had it been slightly different in size or male instead, even that exact cat had some more time passed. He argued that focusing on another pet would help me move on. I told him I wasn't comfortable replacing my cat with an identical one rather quickly, and would prefer if he chose a different animal. He accepted my request, but has brought it up a few times, he would go get her immediately if I agreed. I feel bad for rejecting the one cat he attached with, am I overreacting here? AITA for getting in the way of adopting a pet he really liked?
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{
"description": "worrying when my friend does something that'll hurt her in the long run",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for worrying when my friend does something that'll hurt her in the long run?
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So I [21m] have been friends with her [21f] for three years and we've been living together for two. We share a lot. I could give a pretty graphic description of her vomit from a couple days ago because she told me without my asking. There are a few things she's told me about her childhood that even still she keeps secret from her own brother, whom she is generally pretty close with. I also know the play-by-play for just about every date she's been on since we met, and she knows almost as much about mine. I more or less consider her my closest friend.
Anyway she started acting very suspiciously, sneaking around a lot to go see some unnamed guy and then lying to my face about it without my even asking (to be clear, I don't tend to ask about things she doesn't want to tell me because it's not my business, but in these instances she simply volunteered false information), having never lied to me about anything before. This was the first time she'd been on more than one date with the same person. There were also quite a few red flags that it was not a healthy relationship (not the least of which was uncharacteristically trying to hide it).
Our other roommate [21f] (who introduced us, has known her for 4 years/me for 7, and is generally closer to her than I am) and I got worried about her because she was making career-altering decisions over this relationship that she couldn't even admit to us existed, so we put our heads together and realized that between the things she'd said to the two of us, there was only one person [32m] she could possibly be seeing and there's a fairly substantial pile of reasons he's bad for her that I won't go into here unless someone thinks it's relevant because this isn't an advice-seeking thread.
My initial response was that if she's really thought this through and it's what she wants then we just have to let her make her own mistakes, but we didn't think she *had* thought it through because the reasons it's a bad idea are so elephant-in-the-room obvious. I wanted her to know that we know what's going on, that we think she's making a huge mistake, and that if she thinks we're wrong we won't try to stop her but we will be waiting with a metaphorical broom to pick up the pieces... but we had no idea how to even broach the subject, so I took to the internet for advice on what to say.
The first fifteen or so responses that came in unanimously said I was a bad person for giving it a second thought. "Who died and made you the Iranian morality police?" "You should kill yourself so you can stop being a worthless piece of shit." "What makes you think you have the right to give a fuck?" "Mind your business and stop being such a self-righteous cunt." At that point I deleted the thread. Ordinarily I'd just brush it off as strangers on the internet being dicks, but the fact that literally every response in a community that I usually see trying to be genuinely helpful kinda makes me wonder if they had a point... Am I the asshole here?
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{
"description": "wanting to meet my dad, who abused my mom",
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"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for wanting to meet my dad, who abused my mom?
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So, I don't remember my dad at all, since he and my mom divorced when I was 2. I'm 16 now, and I've never met him, and I want to. When I bring it up my mom flips out, talks about how he's abusive, etc. I don't really care, since I want to meet him. But she calls me selfish for wanting to meet him.
Aita?
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{
"description": "telling a customer I was on break instead of answering her (supposedly) simple question",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 30
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|
AITA for telling a customer I was on break instead of answering her (supposedly) simple question?
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I'm pretty freaking bummed about this because I have a good job that's easy, walking distance of my apartment and has a union. I am on a probationary period and because I got written up I could get fired. I guess I need some input if I was in the wrong or not.
I am a cashier at a grocery store. This morning another cashier ended up calling in sick so I handled the morning rush by myself. It wasn't brutal but I didn't get a chance to go to the bathroom the entire time. My manager was also late relieving me so I finally flagged him down, we had a quick conversation and he said he was sorry but please take a 15 minute break and come back. I was like cool.
As I was walking through the store, a woman (I won't describe her because that sub was banned a few years ago) stopped me and asked me if I knew where the Cadbury Cream eggs were? I found this crazy because literally right behind me it looked like an easter rabbit had vomited pastel all over that corner of the store so I got the impression that she wasn't really even looking. I told her I was sorry I was on break and walked away.
Before people jump to YTA I need to explain something about the last appx 30 days I've worked at this store. I've found that a simple question, especially when confronted on the floor like that, is never one question nor is it simple. I had to pee so bad that I didn't want to get into a long drawn out conversation that I've gotten into in the past.
Not five minutes later my manager came flying into the breakroom and told me I was being written up for being rude to customers. I explained I was on break and hadn't had one since 5:30AM (it was about 9:45) he told me it didn't matter and the "customer is always" right. I told him I really had to go to the bathroom. Then he wrote me up for arguing with him. I told him I wasn't arguing I was explaining. He told me I was a toenail away from getting a third write up which would have me fired immediately and that my choices weren't boding well for my future at the company. I really, really need this job.
Am I the asshole here?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "being nervous to dance with my girlfriend",
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|
AITA for being nervous to dance with my girlfriend?
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I will try and be as impartial as possible, as I am aware of how biases can come across. I want honest opinions, not just people taking my side because I'm the one telling the story.
This just happened. My girlfriend (20f) and I (22m) of 11 months, going on 1 year, were at a formal (aka, prom for americans). Everything was fine, she was looking amazing, I was proud to be her date, we both seemed to be having a good time. This was her formal, so all the people we were with were her friends primarily: I'm not uncomfortable with them, but I wouldn't call them close. They're good people.
After the formal, there was an afterparty at a local nightclub. We go, and we don't really dance apart from being in our seats, especially since she was in high heels. She had said to me that she was tired, and wanted to leave. I hadn't really got up and danced with her, since she was in heels, and she had said about being tired. Any time I tried to dance while sitting with her, she would mock my style, and laugh at me. I'm not a good dancer, but I'm also not terrible - I'm no worse than any other amateur. Her poking fun at me everytime I try with her certainly doesn't help with my confidence, and being comfortable around her. One of her friends (a guy) had asked me to get him a drink, since he didn't have card, and I obliged. This upset her, saying that I ignored her telling me to say no, saying I didn't listen to her saying she wanted to leave. The friend had said that she needs a drink, to loosen up and go dance with the rest of her friends. Instead she sat in the corner with me, and knowing that I had upset her I just felt bad and didn't talk much. I had thought she didn't want to dance.
After she gets upset with me, she says I caused the arguement, and she says I ruin everything for her. She says a series of really hurtful things to me, like saying this is why she never invites me out with her, how I'm the most boring person she knows, and how she knows people who have OD'd over 40 times that have more passion for life than I do. This is all especially confusing because she was giving her numerous signals she didn't want to dance.
Am I the asshole? Did I really ruin her night by being too nervous to dance? Did I ruin her night by getting her friend a drink when she said not to?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "telling my girlfriend she is overreacting",
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|
AITA for telling my girlfriend she is overreacting
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Me and my girlfriend have been together over 3.5 years. We started dating right after high school and most of the time it has been long distance. I was watching porn while away at college and forgot to delete it off my phone and she found it.
I told her that it was because she wasn’t around while I was at school, but her reaction was that she felt she wasn’t good enough for me and she felt “cheated on”. Am I the asshole for telling her that she is overreacting and it’s not a big deal?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "being relieved I'm not the father",
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|
AITAH for being relieved I'm not the father?
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I ran into this woman that I used to hang out with, and we stopped to catch up. She mentioned that she was pregnant, and I congratulated her as I was happy for her.
When she mentioned that she was due in April, I paused for a moment to do the math to figure out if I possibly was the father (not the father, missed it by two months, also not judging her for having a child with a guy she's been with for that short of a time).
She asked what I was doing, and I explained. She got mad because of my concern, and left shortly after.
Now, I can see how this could be taken as offensive, though I had no malice behind it. I was probably a bit insensitive.
So, AITAH for taking a minute to figure out if I was the father and being relieved that I wasn't?
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HISTORICAL
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b7bf0f
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{
"description": "stopping a scam",
"pronormative_score": 6,
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|
AITA for stopping a scam?
|
Ok so a bit of backstory. I've known this person since we were about 4 years old. Went through nursery, primary and secondary school together.
They were born a female but identify as a male so I'll refer to him as he. He is very selfish and thinks the world owes him a favour. The only job he's ever had, he left. He's been to 3 separate college courses, quitting each one because "the lecturer hates him and failed him on purpose or he was being bullied"
The real story is he didn't study, do any of the work or show up most days and people turned on him because he caused drama. So he doesn't work because, and I quote " I'm quite happy not working right now, I'm happy just existing"
He lived with his gran and used her money to buy weed. Just a general waster.
So he's never been a particularly good friend to me. Bullied me in our younger years and now I feel pretty stupid for having given him another chance. He's stolen from me, lied about me, caused issues in my family and called me every name under the sun because I wuldnt give him money. (Money I work for)
So the main story happened a few months ago. I work in a small supermarket that also sells a few video games. Just new releases and bestsellers. So he wanted this new game and it was still at full price. ( He had a tantrum and cried because his mum couldn't afford to give him the money for it. He said she was ruining his life...he's 24)
He walked me to work on this day so he could get the game and bought it even though he knew it might not work due to the disc drive on his ps4 not reading discs sometimes. He took the risk. So all was good and I started my shift.
Later on I got about 8 messages from him along the lines of "It's not working can I return it?". *sigh*. Then this one "in going to try and return it as faulty. Sorry has to be done"
I was pretty livid as the error was his ps4 not the game. He was saying there was a scratch on it. If there WAS, he was the one that put it there.
As I'm speaking to my co worker at the returns desk he shows up and asks for the refund 🙄 . My manager explains that we can't give a refund but we can exchange the game for another copy. He's not happy cause he knows the game works fine. And another copy wpuld just be the same. He also said it was showing up "corrupted data".I say there can't be anything wrong with it and he flips out with me and storms out. I got a few abusive messages and kore of his usual behaviour. He basically admitted In a message he was just saying that to get his money back and somehow I'm the bad guy? I'm blocked on all social media and we don't talk now.
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HISTORICAL
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ba859s
| null |
AITA? I buy games for my friend and me, we both want a game and he doesn't want to buy the game.
|
Before this starts, I am a 16-year-old boy with no job and have a single mother-bless her-who spends a large chunk on me and my brother. (She doesn't make much anyway so I come from a reasonably poor family)
​
So I gameshare with my friend on Xbox and I buy games all the time (will take the time to add he never really appreciates it), he seems to play them and then get bored. I and he have been friends for a while now, so I normally let it slide.
However, this time we wanted to get 2 games and asked reasonably if he would buy one of the games and I get the other, that way we both get either game and can play them with each other.
(for reference, the games we want are Far Cry 5 and Far Cry: New Dawn)
So, I ask nicely if he can get Far Cry 5 and I get New Dawn, as I often buy games that we both want, he acted offended as it is £54.99 and New Dawn is £39.99, I explain that I buy games that we both want and he doesn't seem to understand (Side Note: his parents are still together and they both have jobs, he often spends money on games and I never receive the things he buys, just today he bought a 1.2mil shark card in GTA online(£11.99)).
This is annoying to me as I tell him that since I have bought, Just Cause 4, Rainbow Six Siege, Rocket League, Sea Of Thieves, The Escapists 2, Far Cry 3 and 4, the list goes on. (Total of around £200)
He still refuses to buy the games, and I cannot understand why he doesn't see this the same way I do.
Am I The Asshole for asking my friend to split the bill on 2 games?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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al7q27
|
{
"description": "limiting my roommate's access to my router",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I limited my roommate's access to my router?
|
My roommate and I live on campus in a dorm. I have a router that speeds up the campus internet. This morning I found my roommate playing CSGO at 4AM (2 hours before my alarm, and I can hear his game), I texted him through the Steam app (I'm half-ass awake by this point) to turn it down and calm down. He said that his game wasn't the reason why I woke up, and told me that he could hear me. I have infected tonsils and my doctor told me to get plenty of rest. At this time, my rest is pretty vital to college (I had mono and was out for a week. Don't want it \*ever\* again.) 16 hours later, I hear him bang on his desk multiple times (like the Hulk), yelling about hitboxes right as I'm doing my homework. This isn't new, he's been yelling over a game at night while I'm studying, doing homework, and even trying to go to sleep. My response was always "Calm down." At this rate, telling him that isn't worth it. Recently, I found I can control my router's time for certain devices connected to it. The question is: WIBTA for limiting his access on my router?
​
tl;dr - roommate is toxic and loud over CSGO, thinking about limiting his access through my router so I can focus on studies and/or get decent sleep.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "not liking my parents in law to stay at the house for a week",
"pronormative_score": 7,
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|
AITA for not liking my parents in law to stay at the house for a week?
|
So it's a small 2 bedroom apartment and there barely enough room for all of us. Aside from that, the mom likes to change the kitchen set-up every day(so before I go to work in the morning I spend half an hour just to find my coffee and a mug.)
The dad just lies on the couch all day (and all night btw). And I have to defend myself when I want to play a video-game because the dad calls me an addict anytime I pick up a controller.
The mom is constantly speaking really loudly and is questioning everything we do, and I mean everything ("Why do you put your underwear in that drawer!?"). We have no privacy and even our bedroom isn't safe from their constant presence and scrutiny.
The thing is, my so's parents live abroad and we don't get to see them very often so we are understandably happy to see them. But the way they judge us and claim our house and personal space is driving me quite insane.
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{
"description": "not wanting to play my guitar in front of my mum, but she wants me to cos she's paying",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to play my guitar in front of my mum, but she wants me to cos she’s paying?
|
A few months ago i asked to get guitar lessons to my mum and she said yes, as long as I practice (which I do). Now she wants me to play in front of her, and I don’t want to because if I mess up I will get all embarrassed and stuff, she says that because she’s paying I have to show her what I know.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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abgz0i
| null |
AITA New Years cuddling with a good friends crush
|
Australia. All people at this were 18.
The friend (/friend) in question I’ve known for most of my life. The girl (/girl)in question I’ve known for 4~ months.
Short version: New Years party at mine, all of my general friend group is over. All incredibly drunk. We decide to go for a walk up the nearby mountain and be at the peak for New Years. As we’re walking up, /Girl starts to slip on the rocky path, and she grabs onto me to stay steady. We wrap an arm around each others waist, which is fairly innocent, until we started holding hands, and her head was resting on my chest, in front of /friend.
Once we got off the mountain, all people at the party were lying on the trampoline, and we were pretty close, playing with each others hair, snuggled up together. All the while /friend was ~2 metres away.
I didn’t plan this. /Girl and I had never had any frisson before, and this was out of the blue for me too. /girl knows /friend likes her, and she has rejected him previously.
I’m not gonna lie, it felt great at the time. And I’d be lying if I said that’s the last time I’d do that with her, I’m totally interested in her now. But I still feel really bad for doing /friend dirty like that. We’ve talked and he says he’s okay, but I know him better than that.
Am I the asshole, guys? Because I kinda feel like one right now.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a4l3gj
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{
"description": "refusing to help my father take my bed",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I refused to help my father take my bed?
|
For a long time, my parents were divorced. He moved back in for reasons too many to name here. He told me to get rid of my mattress because he was giving me his giant queen sized bed. Okay cool. I helped him move it in and shit.
Well, not even six months later he's telling me that he's going to kick my mom out and now and take my bed. It is a PAIN IN THE ASS to move. My room is tiny as fuck to begin with. It I knew he would take it back in not even a year, I wouldn't have accepted it in the first place.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "not including my sisters in my bridal party",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't include my sisters in my bridal party?
|
I have a good relationship with my sisters, but it's not like that close, sibling-best friends kind of relationship that some people seem to have. I have 2 best friends that I absolutely want in my bridal party, and then 2 sisters and 2 other close friends that I am more indifferent towards. I don't want to be one of those people that has a crazy amount of bridesmaids, but I honestly don't know how to prioritize who should and shouldn't be in the bridal party. I feel like all my friends have always had their siblings in their bridal parties, and I'm just not sure if I would be risking offending them if I didn't include them. Is it considered rude to have a bridal party that doesn't include family?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
jzDVHd0IZYX2Ii40Yuhs1Pi3q892Gxb0
|
9xvvdk
|
{
"description": "not wanting a housemates boyfriend to move in to our uni house",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting a housemates boyfriend to move in to our uni house?
|
First year uni student in the UK here - to briefly explain university living situations over here, we live in ‘halls’ (eg dorms) for the first year and then find people to live with and rent a house in the city.
I (19F) have gotten close to a group of 4 other girls so we have been looking for a 5 bedroom house. Odd-number room houses are a little trickier to find, and so we have been recommended to look for a 6-bedroom and either absorb the cost of the extra room or find an extra housemate.
One of the girls has a boyfriend, aged 21, and they’ve been together around a year. He goes to a different university but in the same city - she really wants him to take the 6th bedroom.
However, none of us have met him - we obviously can’t ‘vet’ him like other potential housemates if we advertised a spare room. I’m also thinking about what a mess it would be if they broke up and he had to move out - we have to sign contracts with the landlord and it may make finding a new housemate difficult in the event of him moving out.
I’ve spoken to the group and pointed this out, the other girls were subtly agreeing with me but the girl with the boyfriend seemed almost offended.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
D4GPaGNjuvlqo3I7nOgFg5kfIivkMmEF
|
b89t77
|
{
"description": "refusing to sell fish when a man is breaking store policy",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA if I refuse to sell fish when a man is breaking store policy?
|
Backstory: I work at a chain pet store, our policy with goldfish (feeder goldfish) is that if you are not buying them to feed to another animal and want to keep them as a pet, you must have a fish tank big enough. My store policy also states that if I feel like an animal (or fish) wont go to a good home, I am not required to sell it. My managers typically always back me up with this.
M: Me
C: Customer
Okay, onto the conversation that follows:
M: Hello sir, can I help you today?
C: Yes I'd like 5 small goldfish.
M: Oh cool, what are you feeding them to?
C : I'm not feeding them to anything, they're going in an 18 gallon tank.
(I'm technically only allowed to sell them if they're going into a 29 gallon tank. On top of that, I'm only allowed to sell an inch of fish per gallon. So if our gold fish get up to 11" then I'm only allowed to sell you 1, maybe 2 at the most)
M: Oh sorry sir, I can't do 5 in a tank that small. My store policy states... (I explain it to him)
C: I don't give a F\*\*\* about store policy its retarded, and you can mind your F\*\*\*ing business about what I put in my tank.
At this point in time he was getting up in my face, but I tried to remain calm. I explained our store policy and told him I'd sell him 3 at the most. He proceeded to berate me in front of a co-worker when I finally snapped.
M: If you don't like my stores retarded f\*\*\*ing policy you can go shop somewhere else.
I finished bagging the fish and left him before he could ask me anything else. I'm unsure if he complained to management, my co-worker said he'd back me up if I received a bad VOC.
I was talking to a friend and they told me I was the asshole, and maybe should have stfu and just bagged him his fish and that I shouldn't have made such a big deal about the stupid fish. I've asked a couple other people about this and they're split about 50/50. Is the customer always right, or do I have the right to stand up for myself?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
GmLopjfFdGHgjxxOvfz7Me7nszJmzUE1
|
b9xno9
| null |
AITA for respondly poorly to a joke a guy made when buying my mattress?
|
I [21F] am selling my furniture as the term has ended and I am going home.
I made an ad on Facebook that I am giving away my mattress for free, as long as the person picks it up from my place.
A young male student responds and he comes over with a moving van with his male friend. We are in my room and he says “Do you think we need to break in this mattress?” I replied, “Its already broken in because I used it for 2 years.” He then said “You know what I meant “
I say thanks but Im not interested and frankly Im gettin creeped out by them so I suggested that they just take the mattress and leave. Before they left he said “You know I was just joking right.” I just said bye enjoy the mattress
Later I talked to my friend who runs the FB group and she asked me if I wanted to have him removed. I said “ok sure” and he got removed from the group. He messaged me later asking if I got
him banned and called me a bitch.
AITA ? Did I overreact??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
K21JnEHEthOWsuks5pWYKP9npfwJKiaU
|
b2a1z5
|
{
"description": "not wanting to discuss politics with one specific friend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to discuss politics with one specific friend?
|
Throwaway because he's on reddit.
​
I don't want to get into the specific politics we were discussing because I feel like that's just an entire rabbit hole that isn't really relevant.
I have a friend. We've been friends for a few years. Every time politics is brought up (usually by him), it ends in frustration and I end up feeling generally unhappy. See, we both have very different political views, and we're both very set on our views. It doesn't seem like there's any point in arguing them, because neither of us are going to ever change the others mind. In one specific incident in August he even went so far as to say my opinions are "uninformed" and he wants to "see how much I'll hold onto them" by bombarding me with various news articles and long texts.
I waited, cooled off, and sent him a text saying I was hurt by what he said and don't appreciate being spoken to like that. He apologized, and I thought it would be the end of him bringing politics up with me. Since then when he would send me things politically charged I would ignore them or change the subject.
Which is exactly what I should've done yesterday.
I made a post on facebook concerning recent events. Again, not going into specifics - I don't think they're relevant. He sent me a text in response to that, going off on how no one cares about xyz because zyx and all of my responses were very short and, I felt, conveyed how much I didn't want to talk about it with him. He kept pushing, so finally I sent a long response of how I felt on the situation. I'll admit, I was upset with him for pushing it, and my response wasn't very nice. I ended with "I'm at work, I'm putting you on mute, peace."
Within the texts he'd sent me earlier, he kept saying that if I was going to make posts that are politically charged then I should be ready for someone to challenge me. Which I get it. But I just feel like with the history of fights we've had talking politics, I thought it would be fair to expect not to get a response from him.
His response to my last message included saying I always "conveniently" bow out of conversations which is what "people do when they know they're wrong".
I haven't responded since last night. I want to tell him that I think for the sake of our friendship we should not, in any context, discuss politics. WIBTA for doing so? AITA for not wanting to talk to him about politics in the first place?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
E1rUVDdJSBffYhpk3NMHEf0wH0QstNba
|
aqgdge
|
{
"description": "uninviting my girlfriend to Vegas",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for uninviting my girlfriend to Vegas?
|
Over a year ago, my friends and I were planning a trip to Vegas. One friend, Adam, really wanted to go to Vegas, and was the one who initiated the idea and the trip planning in the first place. Adam also lived out of state, so he couldn't see the rest of us on a frequent basis. Our lives were all really busy, but we finally agreed on an autumn weekend we could all go out. At first, the trip started with bringing our SOs as well. We all pitched the idea and the date to our SOs to see if they were interested.
​
When I pitched the idea to my girlfriend, she was really excited to go, but was pretty apprehensive about going with a group. Because of my work, we didn't get to see each other often, and she made side remarks about how we had to go with other people. She was also still in school, so she had a limited window where she could go. The weekend we chose happened to be a weekend she had a couple extra days off school.
​
I discussed with the rest of my friends, and most of their significant others couldn't go. Only one said that she could, and she was on the fence about going. Shortly after this, we received news that Adam, the one who had planned this trip, had a scheduling conflict of meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time, which he'd forgotten about when we'd first discussed. He could do any other weekend around that one, but the only one we could all agree on was one weekend past.
​
I asked my girlfriend if she could move the trip back one weekend. She refused, saying that this was the only weekend that would work for her, and she'd be too busy with school and test prep the following weekend. She also stated she fully expected to spend her extra days off with me, and would be pissed if she wasn't able to.
​
So, I was stuck in between a rock and a hard place, but I had a few options. I could try to tell Adam he couldn't go (despite him planning the trip), and force it to be on a weekend my girlfriend could attend. I could tell my girlfriend she couldn't go, subsequently turning it into a guys trip, since the other girlfriend who could attend wasn't that interested. Or I could just stand in solidarity with my girlfriend and refuse to go to Vegas all together.
​
I chose to turn it into a guys trip. But, to compromise, I promised to take my girlfriend on a romantic, 2-person getaway to Chicago instead. We had both wanted to visit Chicago for a while, and it seemed like the perfect weekend to do it. She agreed to go on the Chicago trip, but she wasn't pleased at all about being excluded from the Vegas trip without having a say in the matter.
​
My girlfriend and I had a wonderful trip to Chicago, and the guys had a great weekend in Vegas (no strippers or promiscuous activities, I promise).
​
Ever since then and over a year later, we still have arguments about this trip. My side of things, as I said above, was that hardly any other girls could go, the whole trip was Adam's idea, and I substituted in a romantic getaway instead of hanging out with a bunch of guys in Vegas. She didn't know many of the guys at the time. I also don't feel bad about the decision I made, because I feel I found a solution to make both parties happy, and I didn't create the scheduling problem in the first place.
​
Her side is that I uninvited her without asking her opinion or including her in the decision to make it a guys trip, that taking her to Chicago does not excuse removing her from the Vegas trip, and that I chose my friends over her. It would have been both our first times to Vegas, so she also feels I took a beautiful first experience away from us, and shared it with other people. She's also unhappy that I still don't feel bad about the decisions I made.
​
I've since taken her to Vegas with a group, if that matters at all. Also, to be clear, I was the one who suggested making it a guys trip.
​
Am I The Asshole?
​
TL;DR - Invited GF to Vegas, then uninvited her when the trip planner changed the weekend. Took her to Chicago as an apology but still went on the Vegas trip.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
nn1EgQlFjcG4ELAFUuvzCFHKW6sQWgeI
|
b4m2q5
|
{
"description": "getting really pissed off at my friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting really pissed off at my friend
|
Cast:
B: friend from school
C: Me and B's friend who we don't know personally but play with online
Me and B were close friends for a few months and then about a month ago he introduced me to C (idk how long B and C have known each other). At school B and I are close friends but whenever we're playing with C he's always going out of his way to flirt with her, normally at my expense and he always makes playing as the 3 of us awkward and painful for me, then the next day at school he's back to being my friend. It's like as soon as B is talking with C he completely switches personalities to what he's like at school and it really pisses me off.
TL;DR: B acts completely differently to me when he's around C and it really pisses me off
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
zrE7jB0CPK7Jigwe9kShBfypq1EBhgEq
|
b8thrn
|
{
"description": "talking about my background",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for talking about my background?
|
Hey everyone. This discussion/confrontation left me confused and I’ll try to sum it up. Obligatory mobile formatting, blah blah blah.
For some background I am mixed, half Asian and half black, but within the “black” half I’m part Native American and white. Onto the story.
I was talking to one of my close friends about this because I had just found out about my Native American ancestry. I was breaking it down, because it’s pretty confusing. Who married who, and how it all went down etc. I was really excited by this new information, because I felt like I was able to get closer to another part of my family background that I didn’t know about.
As we finish talking, she tells me that it doesn’t seem like I’m proud to be black, and that I feel like I am better than her for being mixed( she’s black). I think her words were: “You always seem so proud that you aren’t full black, like you are better than us for being even more mixed.” I was really shocked at this, because I was honestly so excited about this new history of my family. Her ride arrived and she left after that.
Was I being racist? Am I the Asshole?I didn’t think so but I’m starting to doubt myself and don’t know what to think.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
16C6WKcmbL1hVF8OhQJ5aXkczMUrr19h
|
aqnjeg
|
{
"description": "not wanting to give back the things I gifted my ex because she gave them back after the breakup but changed her mind",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to give back the things I gifted my ex because she gave them back after the breakup but changed her mind?
|
So, I spent a good amount of money on these purses I had given her. When she came by to drop off my things, she included these purses. I'm like ok well I guess they're mine again. I'm planning on keeping them to use for myself because well, they're fucking nice and I spent my money on em so why not.
She then asked for them back, because she was in a better place and could deal with seeing them and that she has "better plans on what to do with them", highly insinuating she's going to destroy them/throw em away/donate them. I said no, because I spent money on the items and since she gave them back I took ownership of them again so I'm gonna use them... She's saying how I'm being petty and I'm not a good person because I'm "upset with her".
Ladies and gentlemen... I find this situation hilarious to be honest. I told her she can think what she likes but I feel like she's being pretty irrational and shouldn't have given back the things. I get she was hurt, yadda yadda, but I feel like that was a petty and impulsive move on her part cause she did it to "symbolize the love I threw away" (I ended things for good reason).
I'm curious as to what your opinions are.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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