id
stringlengths 32
32
| post_id
stringlengths 6
6
| action
dict | title
stringlengths 4
300
| text
stringlengths 0
10.8k
| post_type
stringclasses 2
values | label_scores
dict | label
stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores
dict | binarized_label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
PaODvmjKZay9lcrPg8hYACmU4rkgxmUm
|
apjj6g
|
{
"description": "wanting to donate to my boyfriends coworker",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to donate to my boyfriends coworker?
|
I hope this doesn’t come across as a post looking for validation if my actions were inappropriate, I’m genuinely curious if I went about things the wrong way.
My boyfriend told me last week about a friend and coworker of his whose dog got badly injured and would be needing a costly surgery totaling over 3k. He mentioned that everyone at his job was putting money together to give her. They are all just bartenders and so is she so I understand that they are not in a place to each donate large sums of money and I understand that she will most likely struggle to pay off such an expensive surgery. I’m a huge animal lover and I know the pain of worrying over a sick pet. I decided I wanted to get a card for her and give her $100. It’s not a huge dent in the bill but I assume every penny counts.
I brought it to my boyfriend and asked if he would give it to her. He said he would give it to her but only if I put his name on it. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable with that, since it was a gesture I wanted to make, and he had already donated money for the group card.
After I told him I wouldn’t put his name on it, he said it would be weird to give her money since I had only met her once. He also claimed it would look like I was trying to one up everyone by giving one card with my money and my name on it when everyone had already given her a pooled sum of money and a group card.
He ended up telling me I just shouldn’t do it. This made me very sad and uneasy. I feel like I was trying to do a good thing.
AITA in this situation? I know my motives aren’t wrong but would this looks asshole-ish from her perspective?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
zLQSxb5067SrrKM7h6s7gA3M0X8b7BWr
|
aj8yld
|
{
"description": "not tipping",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not tipping?
|
For starters, we always tip, even for very mediocre service. I know wait staff depends on tips, but last night was frustrating enough to make me not want to tip at all. But I still feel like TA. Help me out here:
We went out to a family friendly restaurant with our two children, relatively early in the evening. The restaurant wasn’t full, and the kids were hungry.
After being seated, no waiters appeared. We waited 10 minutes, then flagged a passing waitress. She promised someone was coming. Ten more minutes pass, no one comes. Meanwhile, the tables around us are being served. We try again, and see two waitresses arguing over who should get our table. Finally, 35 (!!) minutes after coming in, someone comes to take our order. By this point, the kids are super hungry and we know the food still has to be prepared.
Once the food comes, things don’t get much better: the waitress brings the wrong order to the table, then brings out a replacement, except it’s still wrong (standard dish off the menu with no changes). During the meal, we can’t find the waitress at all, even though we were desperate for water. We have to wait 15 minutes after we’re done just to find the waitress to ask for the check. It takes her 10 more minutes to get it, except it’s another table’s check. We then wait 10 more minutes for our check to come, at which point we’re frustrated enough not to tip.
The waitress asked why we hadn’t told her we were unhappy and all I could think was “because you were nowhere to be found”.
A meal that should have taken 45min took 2 hours, but the extra time was all spent waiting for the waitress.
In this situation, are we TA for not tipping?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
6FSJI8a6AN33Ct19dcZCRSSDau6PfWL1
|
9yj29b
|
{
"description": "denying someone my free craigslist stuff",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for denying someone my free Craigslist stuff?
|
My girlfriend and I recently moved into an apartment in Manhattan, and it is fairly smaller than our last place. So we've been finding various ways to get rid of a lot of our stuff, and one of the larger items we have is a big box of art supplies. As much as we'd like to sell it, there's a lot to go through and it would be a lot of time and stress to sell. So we took some photos and put the whole thing up for free on Craigslist.
Now, I have some experience with Craigslist people. Craigslist is one of the best ways to find the biggest idiots in your area. With this knowledge and the experience that I have from years of selling/giving away on Craigslist, we tried to make the posting as clear as possible. At the top, middle, and end of the ad we wrote, in all caps, "YOU WILL NEED A VEHICLE AND SOMEONE TO HELP MOVE THIS BOX, DO NOT SHOW UP ALONE." I don't remember the words exactly, but it definitely covered the basis of needing a vehicle, additional helping hands, it's a big heavy box. We wrote it three times in all caps to make sure everyone sees it.
One of the first people to say they can pick it up headed down from the Bronx so it took a little over an hour. We exchanged a few texts just confirming that they are on their way and when they would arrive. I've transcribed the texts we exchanged when they arrived:
>Them: Hi am here is there anyway you can come to the lobby I can't turn off my car the battery keep dieing
>
>Me: No. It's a large box and I can't carry it. The ad said you need to bring help.
>
>Them: Ok I'm at the door
>
>Me: Did you bring help?
>
>Them: My daughter is pregnant?
>
>Me: It's a walkup. If you want, I can leave it in the stairwell and you can take it down in multiple trips
>
>Them: SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS I WILL REPORT YOU ON CRAIGLIST YOU SCAMMER I SHOULD CALL POLICE DONT SET PEOPLE UP BECAUSE WILL KICK YOUR ASS
Clearly she was acting like a manic at the end there, but I talked to some people about this and it didn't seem as black and white to them as it is to me, so I'm curious what you all think.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
CH1pOd9Outv74OcoSEFQANB924TfyCA9
|
ayht7w
|
{
"description": "playing Smash Bros at an unofficial recital",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for playing Smash Bros at an unofficial recital?
|
So, for context, on Wednesdays at our school, we have this thing called 8th hour. School lets out 1 hour early, and we have about 1 hour until buses arrive. That one hour is called 8th hour and we can use it to do homework, basically do whatever.
In the morning, my friend asks me if he can play Smash Ultimate against me in the morning(I usually see him in the orchestra room every morning). I said yes, but I got there late and wasn't able to. So I just told him I could play during 8th hour.
So, come 8th hour, and it seems like there's a mock recital for the Solo and Ensemble performers going on in the orchestra room. Friend is still there. The orchestra teacher is giving tips on everything the performers need to fix, etc. So, I was wondering if I could still play on my Switch if this was going on? I saw multiple people on their phones and there were some people talking as well. So, I decided, if I turned the volume down and didn't talk loudly, it would be fine. So, I start the game. We played through one performance. It didn't seem like we had affected the performance in any way, and the orchestra teacher didn't notice as well. No one had called it out either, so I thought we were in the clear. But cue halfway through the second performance(we still hadn't said a word), teacher sees it, gets mad, and confiscates my Switch until the end of 8th hour, meaning I couldn't leave either. I still don't get why it was a major issue, because it had already been about 10 minutes of playing before she confiscated the Switch, and we didn't make any noise, and neither did the Switch. Not only that, she seemed to be okay with people being on their phones. But, I can see where I'd be in the wrong. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
qlxzcfXoX7LypwgP6XxiO6gYvQYbhuvj
|
aputwx
|
{
"description": "not telling my colleague his fiancée cheated on her with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not telling my colleague his fiancée cheated on her with my ex?
|
I will try and give as much info as I can on this messy situation.
Me and my ex were colleagues, and after we split up, he slept with another colleague multiple times, went on dates and were flirting a lot via text. This colleague has a fiancé, who works for the same company as well, and they have a two year old together. After she left the company, my ex confided in me about everything for some reason. He said he was feeling pretty upset as she claimed to have split up with her fiancé in the midst of their affair and promised to be with him, but also said they must continue seeing eachother in secret as she and the fiancé are still "pretending" to be together until they can get their own places, but then ghosted him once she moved companies, and had never actually split from her fiancé. I didn't feel very sympathetic, to say the least, but I digress.
I was sceptical at first, but when looking back, everything made sense. Me and her were actually pretty close and were friends before, and I confided in her a lot about some personal things, but my ex always wound up knowing everything I'd told her. One time I told her about a time my ex slept with prostitutes, and for the rest of the day she was crying and arguing on the phone outside but I couldn't hear what was being said, and at the time I thought she was arguing with her fiancé, but of course later I found out that she was angry with my ex because he never told her about the prostitutes and she felt she'd been exposed to catching diseases. My manager at the time also commented on how close the two had gotten, even though for the three years prior to this, they had claimed to hate each other, and she said she had seen them texting and calling each other a lot, which the girl would always act secretive about and sneak outside or turn her phone over to hide notifications.
Anyway, I have since moved workplaces but within the same company. All of this happened sometime between April and July last year. I've always got on well with the girl's fiancé, but could never face telling him. I thought it would make things awkward at work seeing as he is colleagues with the guy his fiancée had an affair with, plus they get on like a house on fire (which makes me feel sick and guilty when I see my ex and him together). I don't have proof either, just my ex's word/how everything adds up based on what he told me, and the messages he showed me on his phone. I always felt that the fiancé may not believe me, and then I would be seen as an instigator/shit-stirrer, and he could raise a grievance. Also, I was not part of this affair and I wasn't with my ex at the time (although at times I have wondered if this started before we split up, since he had cheated on me before, but I have no proof of this), so it kind of feels like it's not my place to say anything.
Also, the girl's mum works for the same company as well (yeah, everyone's kinda related it seems) and she is like a work mum to me even though we are currently based at two different locations. That extra complicates things. I basically feel like I would be labelled as the meddling bitch and it would ruin all my work relationships. To make matters worse, the girl started making bizarre accusations a few months back that I was spreading rumours about her cheating and sleeping around and all sorts and also gossiping about what her and her fiancée get up to. I hadn't mentioned anything to anyone and kept myself to myself, but it feels like she's onto me knowing about it all (I did stop talking to her altogether after I found out, even though we were friends). It seems she has tried to put it in people's heads that I am crazy and have something against her before I'd even have the chance to tell anyone.
However, if I was in the fiancé's position, I would definitely want to know. I would also feel betrayed if someone I got on with knew all along and never bothered to tell me. This is the bit that makes me feel like a massive asshole, regardless of everything else. So I guess I want to know once and for all if I am actually an asshole, at least according to Reddit.
Tl;dr: after we split up, my ex was sleeping with a colleague who is engaged to another colleague, I used to be friends with the cheater and do get on very well with her fiancé, but never told him because I can't prove it to him, I don't want to complicate things at work and also feel it's not my place as it didn't involve me. But, I still feel like a massive asshole (because what if roles were reversed etc?)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
MHOmHLlB5yfgFarnaX2Y5KpPoAj8GRD8
|
9tavut
|
{
"description": "asking security to get a girl off the seats at a concert",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking security to get a girl off the seats at a concert?
|
I won't say what show I was at but we had floor seats in the very back row. They were $80 dollar tickets.
I'm a pretty tall girl, so I can usually step on my toes or move over a little to get a line of sight to the stage. I still have to look through the heads of the very tall men ahead of me but it's floor seats...I pretty much expect that to be the experience.
A rather short girl and her boyfriend took their seats ahead of us and when the music started, I saw her craning her neck to get a view. I'm thinking "damn that sucks, being short is the worst."
She proceeds to get up in the seat and lean over her boyfriend's shoulders. She asks the guy next to me if it's ok, he says yes, but she doesn't ask me.
Now half the stage is blocked from my line of vision by her ass. Normally, not a problem, but in this case I'm here to see the band, not her ass, and I'm stunned that she didn't ask me if I minded since I would've told her "yes, I do actually." She seemed like a perfectly normal, likeable girl wanting to have fun. But in that moment I just looked at my husband and said "seriously?"
A security guard happened to be walking by at that point while I was wrestling with wether to poke her and say something. So I got his attention, pointed at her. He nodded, had her get down, then walked by and I said "thanks."
She saw me tell him thank you and I'm assuming put two and two together.
I proceeded to enjoy the show, full of heads in my vision but no butts. She proceeded to feel up on her boyfriend while glaring at me.
So while I don't think I'm the asshole for not wanting her to stand up in the chair right in front of me, I'm wondering if I'm the asshole for not asking her personally to get down. Maybe she would've said sorry and been fine with it. Maybe she would've gotten down and still think I'm a tall bitch with no empathy.
I'm thinking it's not my obligation to spend all that money and open up a conflict and the security guard was doing his job.
Maybe it's like the countless home owner association things where the person is a dick for not handling it themselves.
I just wanted to watch the show and not delve into drama.
Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
MyspEBRTmeCTcScIQPYm6qoXMH3xqDwY
|
b7itl8
|
{
"description": "reporting a girl for cheating and making her potentially lose her scholarship",
"pronormative_score": 49,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
WIBTA if I report a girl for cheating and make her potentially lose her scholarship
|
There's this girl I used to be friends with. We met halfway through our freshman year of college, and had been friends up until the beginning of our sophomore year. We had a falling our when I finally snapped at her because she kept subtly calling me stupid and trying to one up me all the time.
One example is when we got on the topic of scholarships. My sister had just gotten a 5k/sem scholarship, and I was telling my friend, lets call her Alice, about how awesome it was and that my sister beat me in our little bet on who could get the bigger scholarship (mine is only 3k/semester). Alice then turned the conversation to her scholarship (which is a full ride) and followed it up with "but don't feel bad that you barely got any money, some people just aren't college material". She knows that I study hard at college, never miss a class, and got my scholarship because of my ACT score (28), but she still tries to subtly convince me I'm not meant to be at our uni.
Anyways, while we were friends Alice would never take school seriously. She would constantly skip class and pay other people to bring her clicker. We shared a calc class together where missing even 2 classes worth of clicker points could ruin your grade, and she almost never showed up, but still managed to get good grades by using chegg for homework, using the tutoring center before an exam to cram all the stuff she missed, and by, like I said, paying people to click in for her.
For one of our general studies classes, we had to take an online final exam where it was monitored through your computers webcam, and the usage of notes would result in a zero. Alice wrote notes on sticky notes and put them around her computer screen. She got a 93%, and ruined the curve for the whole class (class average was a 72). Her cheating isn't just about her, now it had effected all 180 of us in that course.
Now, I happen to have documentation (texts, snapchats, videos) that's more than enough proof of academic dishonesty on her part. I even have a snapchat she sent me from right before her final exam with all her notes around her computer. There are so many people that could have used the scholarship and would love to be at college and take education seriously. WIBTA if I send all my proof to the dean of students and possibly result in Alice's scholarship being lost, credits dissolved, and possible expulsion.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 49,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 49,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
RIGHT
|
EEsc4JUlokqx8cbAhZkvtWmQZz5lhCdL
|
aiun9o
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend to stop talking to a girl",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend to stop talking to a girl?
|
So me (20M) and my girlfriend (21F) have been together for about 8 months. I knew since the beggining or our relationship that she is attracted to girls, which I didn’t really mind, because it has never previously been an issue for me. To give this story some background, she was on anti-depressants for almost a year (she stopped taking them recently) and they fucked her up a bit, they have some horrible side-effects and affect your behavior. I didn’t care much because I was willing to help, I knew she needed someone to support and take care of her. Now, for the actual story... She started uni again this year and she made some friends. She also met this girl (we’ll call her Sara) which is a year ahead of her. Sara is a lesbian, she dresses like a guy and that’s pretty much all her Facebook profile shows. A few months ago my girlfriend and Sara went out to talk about uni and other stuff. My girlfriend told me parts of the discussion they had, which involved Sara encouraging my girlfriend to try MDMA, because it’s cool and similar stuff. Knowing this person could be a bad influence on my girlfriend (as she was on antidepressants, which means not even alcohol is allowed), I told her it doesn’t sound like a good idea for them to hang out too much, but she didn’t listen to me. Time passed by and I realized I was right. Sara was some kind of female fuckboy by what my girlfriend was telling me. I asked her why won’t they stop talking, which resulted in girlfriend telling me she has a crush on her. I felt pretty weird, I didn’t know how to react.. I felt jealousy and I talked with my girlfriend about this but she told me I shouldn’t worry. After some time, I think they got in an argument or something and they stopped talking. Honestly, I was happy.. Girlfriend came to me and promised she’ll listen to me from now on, told me I was right and that she won’t talk to her anymore.. Not much after, she started acting weird. She didn’t want to tell me what’s wrong at first but after a few tries, she told me she really likes Sara and that Sara broke her heart. That made me feel useless. I felt betrayed.. I felt broken as well. My girlfriend and I had all the reasons to be happy but she’s sad over some hoe. Recently, I saw they were talking again so I confronted her and asked her why would she do that. She told me she feels like talking to Sara. I have to admit I got pretty upset and felt jealous because last time she was feeling sad over some bitch and I didn’t want that to happen again. I asked her if that girl means more to her than me. She said no, and I asked her why would she do that after she got hurt by that person and I got a typical response that sounded like ‘I wanna see where this goes’. I told her she has no respect for me as she knew it hurt me last time to see her suffer over Sara and I told her to choose between me and her, and they stopped talking.
A few weeks later, here I am again, they started talking again and my girlfriend even told her to go out. I told her I don’t want them to talk anymore but she says “it’s a girl, it’s not the same thing”. AITA? what should I do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
D2Wr7JZkbYUOiNkJYb9FPzmf9O6Dz6af
|
aqlstd
|
{
"description": "not texting her something cute on Valentine's day",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not texting her something cute on Valentine’s Day
|
So I just woke up not that long ago and I have a project due today, I don’t even have school, but I have to turn in this project that I have not gotten too far in by 7 and the rest of my day is going to consist of events with her and my family, I had to do it when I woke up and in the process I forgot to check my phone. Now she’s super upset at me for not letting her wake up to something cute. It’s not like I forgot about Valentine’s Day either, I even bought her a bracelet made out of rose gold.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jtxOIaiiw2KODrxZGz39XBNrx8ZvAai0
|
aoknp8
|
{
"description": "stopping being friends with someone who keeps coming onto me",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for stopping being friends with someone who keeps coming onto me?
|
So my old coworker and I were great friends when we worked together. We were pals for years and nothing was wrong with it we were just decent friends that saw a good superhero movie together every once in a while.
This summer her came out to me as gay and I told him idc at all not a big deal you’re still my pal. But he finished the convo by asking me if I wanted to fool around. Told him I’m not gay no thanks.
Months go by and he jokingly asks me to hookup. Whatever.
Then I start to get strange snap chats. Eventually escalated to him naked on his bed. I blocked him on Snapchat and never added him back.
He’s since spam texted me asking what’s wrong.
Am I the asshole for cutting him out?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
CBTKxeMwXdjYbD4qVRPg9KGddkDBQHDk
|
9vy0z5
|
{
"description": "not taking out the garbage",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not taking out the garbage?
|
I make close to 0 amounts of garbage and when I do I put it in the garbage can that’s in my room, and take it out when it’s full. I live with roommates and they want me to take out the kitchen garbage. The way I see it is everyone should clean up after themselves. If I didn’t contribute anything to the main garbage can, it’s not my duty to take it out simply because I live here. Everything that’s in the garbage can is someone else’s, so why do I have to take it out. “Because you live there”??? Am I being an asshole. Or is any of this within reason?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
7MYipIqgHrX9k4Mbv1crT1D7Vmt4si9W
|
asvmrv
|
{
"description": "not paying for someone's Metro Card",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not paying for someone’s Metro Card?
|
I was at the train station in line to refill my subway card, and someone tapped me on the shoulder. They smiled and said, “hi, I don’t have a card on me, but would I be able to Venmo you and you can pay to add $20 to my metro card?” Now u understand where this person was coming from, but I had to catch a train and frankly I didn’t know this person at a and didn’t feel obligated to help them. I said, “I’m sorry but I’m in a pretty big rush so no.”
Well that smile they had on absolutely dropped off their face and he responded, “what do you mean no? You’re already in line. I need you to do this for me. I’m next in line at this point, but I’m sticking to my guns and say, “Again, I’m sorry but I can’t tonight. I’m sure someone else may be able to help though!”
Well this guy lost it. He started shouting at me saying, “I know you can afford it, fucking asshole! You’re paying for yours, just pay for mine quickly too!” I was already not going to pay for his card, but he definitely pissed me off and didn’t do himself any favors. I simply said, “Holy sense of entitlement,” paid, and didn’t say another word. He started following me should that I’m an asshole, and that I better run (I wasn’t running because I was scared, was running because I had to make the subway). So, AITA and should I have just taken the extra 15 seconds and helped?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
bSap7AxLbt5JOVfjd9wKdUNhXgANYKI2
|
a97wj4
|
{
"description": "cursing out my former high school bullies",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cursing out my former high school bullies?
|
It has been 20 years since I graduated from high school. In high school, I bullied everyday by a particular group of boys. They were very tall/large, popular, and played baseball. It was the 90's and I was a kid who dressed all in black - nothing way too over the top. Some black lipstick and pretty standard black clothing. I didn't have a whole bunch of money at my disposal. (I remember being so excited when, for my sweet 16, my mom actually sprung for a very expensive pair of black doc martens. That was my big gift for the ol' milestone.)
Anyway, "mean" is an understatement to use on these guys. It wasn't just "being mean" - it was psychological, and at times physical, abuse. Stalking. Harassing. You name it. They did things like going through my purse and breaking my stuff and vandalizing my car. I remember once I was so sad when they'd pulled out a "Link" (legend of zelda) keychain and colored all over it with permanent black marker - kinda of a message because all I wore was black. It was completely ruined and a very close friend had gifted it to me. Such a small thing, but it made me very sad. Beyond that, things escalated to "Freak" and "you want to suck my dick?" every time I passed them in the hall. There was a lot of sexual harassment that eventually surfaced because I am female. The worst was when one of them left a note on my desk, after having heard a rumor that I was a lesbian (I am not a lesbian). The note read, "Faggots like you belong locked up in cages. If you weren't a girl, I would smack you so hard that your eyes would fly to the back of your skull."
I had some close friends in high school but I definitely wasn't popular. I was a troubled teen because my 21 year old brother died my freshman year (brain cancer) so I was dealing with that on top of these bullies.
​
Anyway... fast forward 20 years later. I managed to never attend a high school reunion. I had absolutely no fond memories of the place. I still have close friendships with some of my good friends from that time period, however. We are friended on social media. Last week, a friend of mine sent me an invite to an upcoming reunion event. When I read the event description, 3 of the aforementioned bullies were the ones hosting. My friend justified the invite with, "Well... obviously they've probably changed. I want to go...etc." So I rsvp'd "maybe" (with a strong likelihood of NOT going). As soon as I did that, all 3 of these guys immediately sent me a friend request. I hesitantly accepted, placed them on a restricted list, and contemplated removing them later on down the line.
​
Later on, I re-read the event description and something caught my eye. They listed each of their names in the description and in parentheses beside their names, they posted the company at which they worked. One worked at a mortgage lending company. The second worked at a realty company. And the third worked in homeowner's insurance. My alarm bells went off and I began speaking to a few other friends of mine about this. "Doesn't it seem like we might be walking into a sales pitch?" was what I asked. Each of them agreed that it seemed very off. Then I visited all three of these guys' profiles and every update on their profiles was a sales pitch for a house, an insurance rate, or a home loan. One of them even used an insurance ad for his company as his profile photo.
​
And, by the way, my friends said that as soon as they rsvp'd the event, each of these dudes turbo-friended them as well.
​
So... I sent a private message to these guys. I called them out on their profiles and the event description, saying it seems like this is a sales event disguised as a high school reunion. I also asked why any of them would friend me because each of them hated me when we were kids.
​
One guy responded and told me that I was crazy - that none of them hated me, that they were "just having fun" and they were "just immature kids." Then he went on to say, "And so what if we maybe sell something at the reunion? IF we sell our services great - if not, at least everyone can have free food and fun!"
​
I responded back saying that everything he said about high school was the most dismissive, gaslighting pure bullshit I'd ever heard, citing that the things they did to me led me to having to seek therapy in later years. Then I basically said, "Fuck you..." and blocked them.
​
I probably would not have held a grudge this long had they been sincere in really wanting to hold a reunion, but I feel like these guys are still bullies - just in a different, slimy way.
​
Am I an asshole for cursing them out like that? It felt really good and you could almost hear the mic drop at the end of my message. And hitting that "block" button was cathartic as hell.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZmypbR58afXkgiAh5rpSLVvmxfA5vnT8
|
awekg0
|
{
"description": "saying \"ur moms retarded\"",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for saying “ur moms retarded”
|
I was sitting down with a couple of friends and I jokingly said to one of them “heck you”. She then said “you’re retarded”. I was not offended by this and was fine. I then said “ur moms retarded” (I’m sure we all know the ur mom joke by now and I don’t need to explain it). She then got super pissed at me and said her mom was dying. I had no idea anything was happening with her mom at all. She never told me. I then did something and came back and sat down with another one of my friends (that saw what happened). She told the other girl to chill out but then she got mad at her because she has bipolar apparently. She also never mentioned this. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
gbm3OqjADW3YcAzuRYdHh260eovIkkGs
|
azd9si
|
{
"description": "not letting them overtake me on the road",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
WIBTA if i don’t let them overtake me on the road.
|
As title says E.G I’m doing 40 on a 35 speed limit and a car behind me tries to overtake, I speed up and don’t let them get in the lane.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
WRONG
|
efIw2ofz8BBRR6wcAvJrQTaD9tFicNii
|
abx6xs
|
{
"description": "not liking my roomate's gf",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not liking my roomate's gf
|
My roomate and best friend in college started dating a new (to our uni) transfer student last semester. She is the sweetest and most caring person i have ever met.
Or so it seemed.
As the semester went on, i realized she is actually very manipulative. She has secret intentions about everything, and has my roomie wrapped around her fingers. She's encouraged him to do things (get certain jobs, spend money) based on what she wants and not what's best for him. She also expects her friends to always support her and her opinion, whether she is right OR wrong, and you're a traitor if you don't. She expects us to be enemies of her enemies, and to always support her actions. I've tried to talk sense into my roomate but he is smitten.
THEN, she applied to work where i work, and due to job-related experiences plus knowing her as a friend, i did not try to help her get the job. She got the job anyways but was mad that i didn't put a word in. I also refuse to dislike people just because she does.
So AITA, or are there "friendship rules" i'm not following?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mmMXXGcbfvzgC5JHqQCg9qdBNUZjemkJ
|
a2rxai
|
{
"description": "asking my friend to replace an item she broke a year ago",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for asking my friend to replace an item she broke a year ago?
|
I have an 11x9 ceramic baking dish/casserole tray that I use fairly often when I cook. It's my only deeper bakeware (I have several baking sheets but this one is about 4 inches deep) so it's good for things like brownies or baked mac n cheese. About a year ago, my roommate at the time used it to cook something herself. This is fine, we had an agreement where we shared the different kitchenware we had brought, but everyone knew what items belonged to them. At some point while she was using it, my roommate did something that created a few large but thin cracks throughout the tray. She told me this straight up, and I told her it was okay, but asked her if she would replace it. She reluctantly agreed, but she said she didn't have the money right at that moment. I said that was fine, she could Venmo me any time.
​
Needless to say, she never paid me back. The semester ended, then she studied abroad for spring semester, and this year we don't live together anymore, and I rarely see her/talk to her, although we are still friendly. I didn't bother to hound her for the cash. The tray still worked anyway, since the cracks were hairline and I didn't use it all the time. However, the cracks are starting to get noticably bigger, and I would like to replace it. It'll probably only be $15-20 to replace, but I'm a college student who's tight on money, and while I can afford it, I wish she had just paid me back or got me a new one when it initially broke. WIBTA if I asked for the money now, a year later?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
6ADEVELqIPU1SQVTRZ2EDBcqvyy6vHlV
|
akryb5
|
{
"description": "not getting my girlfriend anything for her birthday when I went to visit her",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For not getting my girlfriend anything for her birthday when I went to visit her?
|
Throwaway bc my mom will occasionally go on reddit and not log out of mine. This was about a week ago.
Tl;dr at bottom
So some context. My girlfriend lives in Germany and I live in the United States. We have been dating for about a year and a half. Anyway, so I decided to stay for her birthday. I stayed there for about 3 weeks. I left 2 days after her birthday. I did not plan on getting her anything considering this was kind of an expensive "gift" of my own. I didn't surprise her, this was planned months before it had even happened. So the day of her birthday, I decide to take her out to eat. We spend the whole day with each other, and then there was a party at her place. A small get together you could say, but nothing too big. As we get home and get her house ready, she asks me out of nowhere, "Soooo, what did you get me?" I look at her kinda perplexed.
Me: "Um, what?"
Her: "My birthday present?" She says laughing, but very serious.
Me: "I thought me coming to Germany for you would be a gift enough." I was super tempted to bring up how much the ticket was, but I know it would make me the asshole by default.
Her: "So...you didn't get me anything else?..." Her heart dropped. Like her whole world was shattered.
After an awkward and silent party, we argued for the better part of an hour in her room. Saying how she was under the impression I was going to get her something. Anything. She hasn't been dropping any hints at all. No "Wow, this purse looks soooo good." Or any obvious signs a man would've picked up.
Am I the asshole? Should I have gotten her a gift? Was I right not to? Thanks for reading. Any questions you guys have, I'll try to answer them asap.
Tl;dr: Went to visit my girlfriend in Germany and stayed for her birthday. Didnt get her anything because I thought me coming to visit her was already a big gift. She insists I should've got her something. I say I shouldn't have.
I am on mobile so forgive me for the bad format.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
Vdw4Joz26X6bdMtehm41Vu4l9c7E4vlX
|
9z03ds
|
{
"description": "cutting out an old friend I had issues with",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For cutting out an old friend I had issues with
|
I'm an 18 year old guy and I'm about to finish my first semester of college. Since about my freshman year of high school I have been in this friend group that has had a few guys come in and out of but it's mostly been Myself and 2 other guys, for their security ill call them Randy and Tyler.
Randy and I have always been very good friends and we have never had any problems with each other. Tyler on the other hand would very randomly have these what we would call "man periods" and would be super moody, aggressive, and hostile for no real reason. However about 80% of the time he was a super relaxed guy who was genuinely a fun guy to hang out with. Over our course of high school Tyler and the friend group had a few not so small arguments but nothing that was enough to break up the group.
Fast forward to the summer between our Senior Year and college. Tyler had this huge road trip planned that would last 9 days and involve myself, Randy and our other friend Jerry (again, not his real name.) The first few days of the road trip went very well but Tyler was out of place for almost THE ENTIRE TRIP. We came close to just saying fuck it lets fly home several times but didn't. We finally get home and we don't really talk to Tyler at this point much anymore as we are all pretty pissed at him for his behavior and his lack of apologies.
Then the first day of college hits and my friend group stays in the same area they did before high school, Except Tyler. He moves to a school about 50 miles outside of where we live to be at the dorms. He cancels his xbox live subscription because of school (This is how we talked 75% of the time.) and that was that. My friends would all be happy if he were to just slowly drift apart from us.
Now for the conflict. He texts all of us a few days ago apologizing for his behavior during and leading up to the road trip, along with most of our high school experience. He explains that He had been struggling with depression throughout most of his high school experience and that was the reason he acted out so much. He says that he is in a better place out of the house now and that he would like to start hanging out more on the weekends when he is in town to visit his parents. My friends and I accepted his apology but are still actively avoiding him. AITA?
​
tldr: My high school friend who has a history of acting up apologizes for past rude behavior because of depression and we still actively avoid him due to past behavior
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
oSsaM0VzDhlOVLYQt23HB2lgI9P4OYtv
|
anb9n2
|
{
"description": "being incredulous/annoyed with my bf for this",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For being incredulous/annoyed with my BF for this?
|
This is such a silly thing and yet I haven’t really been able to shake it off, so I’m curious if I’m just over-reacting and being TA. Basically, my SO and I are huge Bojack Horseman fans and one night we were discussing who our favorite characters are. He said his was Mr Peanutbutter so I asked him to expand, if he saw his personality similar to his, how he feels about XYZ, etc. it was a nice discussion with him talking about his personality and how he perceives himself.
Then when I said he should guess who my favorite character was, he immediately replied that he didn’t need to guess because he already knew that it was Diane. I was surprised and asked why he knew with such absolute certainty. He said “it’s because she’s Asian and you’re Asian, of course.” (I am Asian, my SO is white). I was surprised because her being Asian is not at all the main reasons why. I said “I like her because of her personality, what about her being a feminist? For being wickedly funny? For calling people out when they need to?” And he said nope, it was because she was Asian, and if she wasn’t Asian then would she still be my favorite character, probably not? And i was annoyed, but it’s true that Diane being Asian is a nice bonus to me having some connection with her, so I left it at that. But a week later I still can’t shake this conversation because I don’t get why he stuck to his guns and announced I formed an emotional connection with a tv character just because of their Asianness. I was born here and pretty whitewashed so it’s not like I’m declaring my Asianness to everyone all the time. Ive mostly shaken it off but it feels weird to me every time I think about it. AITA for being so hung up about this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
wMZmninlqA3Zhk7R21q5C1aDzCoJ1N2C
|
ayxrkw
|
{
"description": "sharing my personal stories and opinions regarding the homeless population to my church group",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: for sharing my personal stories and opinions regarding the homeless population to my church group?
|
So i meet with a church group a few times a month and each meeting there is a different public speaker that talks and answers questions before we break up into small groups for prayer and discussion about the points the Speaker makes.
This week cops came in and talked about public saftey and whatnot, but their discussion was completely derailed because all of these ladies wouldn't shut the fuck up about the homeless population and mentioning how they fear for their safety and their childrens saftey if they are just anywhere near a homeless person in a public setting. And they kept asking the cops if it was legal to call 911 on a homeless person asleep at a park because "It scares me that they are spending so much time at a park where children play and I fear that they might attempt to kidnap my children or follow me home"
Anyway, we broke up into small groups and talked about the homeless most of the time. I was biting my tongue the whole time because I am sort of an "imposter" in the group. Like I am not a religious person/never been baptized or anything, and I'm not even sure where I stand on God and all, but I like to keep an open mind, and i have met some awesome friends though this meeting so i keep attending. But ot got to the point where I just couldn't keep it in any longer. Some woman said something along the lines of "You always need to be so careful anywhere you go. There are so many terrible and sick disgusting men in this world. The rec center is the worst, but certainly never let your kids go to any trailer parks even if you are having a mommy and me play date. Like if you find out your friend lives in a trailer it would be best to never go to her house. Trailer parks are just disgusting. And the rec center is even worse because theres creepy old men there and the homeless go there to shower and shave since its cheap, and they spend all of their time in the hot tubs and just wait for the perfect time to abduct a child!"
And I shit you not. There was numerous stories about how the homeless were so scary and its just best if you never make eye contact and just bassically pretend they don't even exist....
This is where I lost my shit. I interjected and let them know that I have spent so much time with the homeless population, and that I,myself, have actually panhandled/begged for money as well as lived out of my car when i was a young teen. I told them some personal stories and tired to show them that not ALL homeless people are looking for an easy way to support a drinking/drug habit, and I even encouraged them that it is totally possible to talk to a homeless person and not magically get abducted. But i certainly let them know that the gross judgement they were making was not only sickning, but also extremely non-christian.
They immediately changed the topic but i could still sense the tension, so AITA for sharing my opinion/experience when I was so pissed off that a group of women could be so judgemental?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1hW7Uc7TO4r1Mvku5ntvYZHLDtSp9zUh
|
b0fj4f
|
{
"description": "submitting 8 movies to one subreddit in less than 24 hours where the rules say \"you may submit no more than 10 movies in 24 hours\"",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for submitting 8 movies to one subreddit in less than 24 hours where the rules say "you may submit no more than 10 movies in 24 hours"?
|
The rules literally said, "You may submit no more than 10 posts in a 24 hour period as to prevent spamming".
This subreddit shares the same iconic movies over and over again so I decided to share 8 different movies. Not 10. Not 15. But 8 movies from the 1910's and 1920's in a couple of hours. I didn't share any more movies for a couple of days, but when I checked my messages today, this one person told me to stop spamming the subreddit.
Turns out the movies I shared are still on the first page because people upvoted them, highest upvote being 12. People can downvote them, filter them out, or share movies so mine won't dominate the front page 2 days after I shared them.
So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
Hf5lR1t7kvBLPiuRYOGO47a5AGFVSbJL
|
amlnvr
|
{
"description": "getting involved in others' business",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting involved in others' business?
|
Work retail. Heard a child crying. And I don't mean normal child crying. Like, this kid sounded so distraught. Like someone who wasn't his parent was taking him home.
And I usually don't do this. I don't like to be passive, but everyone parents differently and I know I'm not the end all be all, so if I see some parenting I don't like (as long as it's not abuse), I leave it alone. Not my place to speak up.
But this crying kid, I quickly locate the source and approach that parent.
Me: "I hate to be a bother, but is everything alright?"
Mother: "Why?"
Me: "Well, your child is crying. I just wanted to make sure everything is alright here."
Mother: "Nothings wrong," or something alone those lines.
As I'm walking away, she says "kids cry" like it's no big deal. And usually it wouldn't be. But this kid, it didn't sound like a normal cry.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
38M7tABSCZu5RiTdh7LWCAIMkQnGcPmv
|
b4wz4m
|
{
"description": "being upset/angry when my boyfriend ditched my game for another girl",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset/angry when my boyfriend ditched my game for another girl?
|
Yesterday I had a couple games, and I had asked my boyfriend throughout the week to make sure he could come. We’re both almost done with high school and have been together for a year. He had plans with a childhood friend, who happens to be a girl, to go out on Thursday and then hangout at her house.
For some reason she couldn’t go through with it on Thursday so they decided to go on Saturday instead. Because of this, he missed my tournament. Now, I’m pretty easy going and not really the jealous type so I would have been okay with them hanging out (for the most part; I know her through him and I trust the both of them). Anyways this is one of my last tournaments ever, because I love my sport but I feel once I get to college I’ll need to focus on education and won’t have time for practices. I still have one or two more, but a) he didn’t ask me if I’d be okay with them basically going on a date b) I kept saying how important it was to me for him to be there for me, and c) he could have picked any other day for them to go out.
He also told me he’d be seeing me after my games but then his family made plans and though I know I can’t be angry about that, it just made me more upset, because broken promises you know? I brought all of this up to him (except the part about us hanging out after) and he said they’ve been friends since they were 3 and that I just like finding fault with everything he does. He says it’s hard to always think about my feelings before he does things, and I think that’s utterly ridiculous. I believe if you really love and care about someone it shouldn’t be hard to keep from hurting them.
One last thing about this girl: we went out to see her musical recently and their families go camping together frequently. It’s not like they never get to see each other. However, and I did forget about this part, she is moving across the country at the end of this year for college. Like I said though, i don’t mind them hanging out, just the way my boyfriend had it happen.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
6840YdFJVcLmTZBysSKrWORCZ3xinA9o
|
atscbo
|
{
"description": "keeping a stay cat we adopted after the owner reached out to us",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for keeping a stay cat we adopted after the owner reached out to us?
|
I really never thought I'd have something to post here.
TL;DR at the end since I might as well just explain the entire event.
So, my girlfriend moved in with me almost 2 years ago. About 6 months in she kept looking at cats on her phone and asking if I wanted one. We all know how this goes.
One day, I came home and my girlfriend asked if I "wanted to meet the baby." I immediately understood she had gotten a cat, and figured it was a kitten based on her language. Now, we are an adoption ONLY household as well as immediate family. So, when I opened the door to our office and saw a fully grown, 13 pound apex hunter male cat staring back at me, I was surprised but not shocked.
Fast forward about a year later, and I love this cat almost as much as my dog. One night, the cat got out when I let my dog out to pee. Since he was such a healthy, predatory cat, I had no fear for his safety when I find out in the morning. UNTIL, we didn't see the cat for 48 hours including a thunderstorm.
I had mentally accepted that the cat was gone or would be back in a week or two according to what I read online.
In this time, my girlfriend had posted on our neighborhood page that our cat was missing. We got a message from someone we went to highschool with (we're in our early 20's), and he said it looked a lot like his cat that got away. The name our friend gave us was exactly the adopted name the cat had when we got him. He even has a sister that still lives there.
I found my cat stuck in my neighbor's perfectly stacked woodpile (square cut) 3 days later. There were pieces missing from it that fit where he was stuck at. I'll leave what I'm saying for your imagination. The police had me grab him (she wouldn't let me on her property), and told me if he gets on her property again, my cat will have to "find its own way out."
What's also crazy is that our friend lives two streets away from us, but my girlfriend purchased the cat 6 miles away during a humane society outreach program that brought him from another 9 miles away. So, it's not like we found him outside.
Anyway, he obviously wanted his cat back and we told him no; it's our cat since we paid for him and have loved him as family for a year. If it had been any early before I gained feelings for the cat, I definitely would have given it to him and even felt good doing so.
TL;DR
Adopted a cat. The cat got out and our friend from highschool recognized the picture as his cat. We didn't give the cat back since we bought him and had a close bond with him for about a year.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
OtTJNIjJxBNkL4hAZ5OFQyJUpOrQrTlI
|
aa07lj
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my gf because of her tattoos",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my GF because of her tattoos?
|
So I've been in a relationship with this girl for about 3 years and in these 3 years we've had many fights because she decided to make a bunch of piercings and tattoos in which some of them I only knew did. Some of those piercings I liked and others I didn't which is normal.
The problem is that every time I say that I don't like something she makes, she starts rambling about how I don't support her decisions and that I'm a control freak. This turned way worst after she decided that she wanted to tatto a anime character in the arm. I said since the begging that I was against because I never liked those kind of tattos,either way she did it and obviously I didn't like and we had major fights because for her I had to support every single decision that she made.
But when I make a decision without her consent she freaks out and tells me that I need to do better in this relationship because I don't care about he opinions, I cannot even have my own friends without her starting to say shit about them and telling me that I should get better friends.
Now she told me that she wants to do another anime character in the other arm, my response was that I cannot date a person that my opinion but whats me to do only what she approves.
I told her that if she makes another tatto of a anime character, I'll break up with her. She went nuts and is saying that I'm a control freak. I need help am I wrong?
I'm not against piercings nor tattos because I have a tatto and a piercing so that's not the issue.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
ydntbZphVtXuqU8fyX8rVgQferv271OJ
|
b1jlq9
|
{
"description": "not letting a friend and his GF crash on my couch for over a week",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting a friend and his GF crash on my couch for over a week?
|
My old roommate who recently moved out of state for a job was supposed to visit, and stay with me and my 2 roommates for a few days. This was totally fine by us and had been planned ahead of time.
Now fast forward to a day before he is set to visit. He asks if it would be okay for him and his GF to stay another 8 days on a completely separate date a week later. So I talk this over with my roommates and we decide we’re not really fond of the idea. The main reason being we’re not big fans of his GF, and dread the thought of them staying in our living room for 8 days while we go about life as usual (jobs,school, etc) .
This really upset my friend because he had already planned his entire trip on the basis he could stay for those 8 days without asking. He basically hasn’t spoken to us since so I’m wondering AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vJxhm7ddFJBws81FXF2davBlTaFQWyxm
|
b436wu
|
{
"description": "charging my roommate money regarding utilities",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I charged my roommate money regarding utilities?
|
I live with two other females. One has been keeping up with paying utilities, even two weks behind is fine. Around December, my third roomate failed to pay me for utilities for over 2 months, causing our utility account to be canceled. Since cancellation, a $50 service fee is charged per person. We have repeatedly asked this roommate to go setup the utility accounts again and everything would be fine, but she has failed to do so up to this date. Reinstating the utilities in my name is $200.
She is ignoring all communication from the apartment, me, and my compliant roommate. Since January, we have all collectively lost $450, $300 from me and the compliant roommate's side. I'm planning to charge the non-compliant roommate with the difference she would owe for half of the loss -- $75.
Am I the asshole if I charge her money for her mistake? She is still ignoring everyone and is actively avoiding the apartment to barr communication.
Another note, the apartment says this is a situation to be dealt with between me and my roommates. Non-compliant roommate ignored this Snapchat message from me: "Can we please find a time to discuss this utilities problem? We can't afford to keep losing money like this so let me know." Thanks
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
5ZIvju71vYvHJ8pYnDi6I9mRnhSkbzsy
|
aoiwzx
|
{
"description": "assuming she was dating other men",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for assuming she was dating other men?
|
I (29m) have been dating this woman (30f) for a little under a year. She has some issues with self-esteem but has plenty of male friends that she talks to. A few months in to dating I asked her if she wanted to be official and she said she wasn't ready to be my girlfriend, which I took to mean she wasn't ready to be exclusive. I didn't date anyone else this whole time, waiting for her to be ready, but I assumed she was seeing other guys as she would mention her tinder matches and snap stories of her with other guys alone. One night this past week she sends me a picture of her text message page which has my picture/messages and a few other men as well. However in the message my portion is cut off and all I see is a bunch of other men she's texting. I was confused and asked "What is this supposed to prove, all the other guys you're dating?" She then explains that I'm part of the picture, I open the picture and see this is true and apologize. She says that I cut her too deep and just wants to be friends now because I thought she was dating other people. AITA for thinking that she was seeing other men?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
OnniQ9NPhFrMXFXw0GJ40eDa0Cqt1ZvU
|
ax95oe
|
{
"description": "being rude to my father about his cleaning manners",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being rude to my father about his cleaning manners?
|
Hi,
I wanted to start off by saying that me and my wife are expecting a child. She is 37 weeks pregnant right now.
We bought the house from my father and are currently renovating and cleaning it. He's still living here for another 2 years as part of the agreement. It's been his house since it was built in 1992. He's been the sole owner since that time up until recently.
My wife is with maternity leave and making sure everything is ready for our baby. I go to school and work after. I'm only home in the evenings. She's been cleaning the entire house. She constantly complains to me that there's black mold everywhere and things haven't been cleaned for what looks like years.
I asked my dad a few times when the last time he cleaned certains items was. He said he didn't clean the top level of the house EVER. Certain other things too such as window frames and doors. There's mold literally on every window frame.
Today, I come home to find my 37 weeks pregnant wife on her knees scrubbing the house. She's in pain and complaining about the mold. My father however is only interested in where his newspaper is. Turns out my wife used it to paint something on. He is pissy about it.
So I tell him how she's on her knees cleaning the shit he never did and that he can stick the newspaper up his ass. I go off about how he let mold grow for 25 years and never once lifted a finger to clean it, and now my wife has to do it and he just watches her and doesn't try to help at all. I find him very disrespectful and I lost my temper. I shouldn't have yelled or said the things I did but I don't know if I'm in the wrong here.
AITA for being pissed?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
OH6o2aEo1jR0oxbQpQcdnaiEHAICLUZM
|
9wmiqu
|
{
"description": "wanting to get repaid for some hamburgers I made",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting to get repaid for some hamburgers I made?
|
This was a while ago while I was a senior in high school when I had friends over for July 4th. (about 15 people) the plan was to grill and play some drinking games. So I bought around 40 dollars worth of food (mostly hamburgers and chips) beforehand by myself and afterwards I asked everyone to pitch in a few bucks each to help cover the cost.
To be fair I didn't tell them I was going to expect them to pitch in but it was a set precedent for previous times when my friends and I would grill brats so I figured this would be no different.
Only like 5 people ended up paying me so I was out 30 bucks and everyone seemed mad at me for asking.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
AjtGDigcAZmFxXEkOuYwHGiaN5HlRcvc
|
ayd33b
|
{
"description": "not sharing a pretzel with a classmate",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not sharing a pretzel with a classmate?
|
Basically,pretzels are like 4 a dollar and I think everyone in the class has like 3-5 dollars for food per day,so they can buy pretzels too
AITA for not sharing one with a toxic girl?like she is mean to me for no reason,she even told me to the teacher despite having 0 reasons to do that,I tried being nice to her,but she is still mean
So,AITA for not giving her a pretzel when she asked for one?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
W378g09H8iTmPm4ly9gXJAi5EfqcZ5UT
|
b8ajtu
|
{
"description": "leaning on her hair in the train",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for leaning on her hair in the train?
|
Today [I took a spot on the train](https://i.imgur.com/I00VjAO.jpg). (That's me in red, hello!) There was a woman sitting in the seat I was leaning against. She had large curly hair which had a lot of volume, her hair was entwined with the handle on the seat.
I leaned back slowly as if to say 'Please move your hair away from the handle' and she did so. She adjusted her hair another 3 times while I was leaning back so I just stopped leaning with my back and leaned with my butt instead and held onto the bar. However, the train was chest to chest and the train is wobbly so I would sometimes get pushed back onto her hair.
Eventually as she was leaving she made eye-contact with me for 5 solid seconds with a very pissed off look and shaking her head.
It's 9am, I'm procrastinating at work and tend to overthink things... am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Qx77RYGUFphGvdyOuRgJb2gPJtrnroG1
|
a50rai
|
{
"description": "booking a holiday for myself, against my parents wishes",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for booking a holiday for myself, against my parents wishes?
|
Hi, bit of context.
Next weekend, a few of my friends are coming down from a country town about 5 hours from me. I'm pretty close with both of them, and we all came up with the idea that I'd catch a train up (no room in their car, they're driving), and hang out up there with them for a few days.
Initially, we did have a few minor issues with accommodation and transport, but I have booked everything in now, and I am excited to go up, hang out with them and enjoy my first week of holidays. However, my parents don't want me to go, because 'your friends are coming down, whats the point of you going up?' I haven't seen one of them for an entire year and only saw the other one about 15 weeks ago (we keep in touch over Snapchat/text) but I don't want to have to see them go, and want to hang out with them. They are pretty enthusiastic about me coming up as well, but my parents are mad, and I want to know, AITA for going against their wishes and going up to visit my friends?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ouxXfPEw1j5r6A1HHoGOvs2aYRb70D9l
|
ap13sv
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my friend for only helping me minimally",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friend for only helping me minimally?
|
Me and my friend live in the countryside of Thailand for work. We both make only enough to eat, live, and go out sometimes as this is purely for gaining international experience, so we try to pay for things as minimal as possible. In Thailand, whenever we go to Bangkok, we use a ride hailing app to call rickshaws as they are cheaper than the local ones (I would be paying for the local ones if I wasn't so poor). For example, instead of paying $3 for a ride, I would be paying $1. A smartphone is needed to use these apps of course. My phone recently broke and gave it to a repair shop for it to fix, so for the day, I relied on my friend to call the rickshaws for us. However, we also have a "work" phone which is a small phone and I carried it in my backpack for emergencies. For the weekend in Bangkok, we were staying at different hostels.
Fast forward to us hanging out at a cafe at the mall with our laptops, my friend decided to go back to the countryside a day earlier, so he decided to order a rickshaw using the ride hailing app to take him to the bus station. I asked my friend to order a rickshaw on the ride hailing app for me once he arrives to the bus station and for it to take me to my hostel, which is a 30 minute walk, and he says okay. Once he arrived at the bus station, he messages me on Facebook messenger and tells me that he ordered a rickshaw to the front of the mall. I pack my laptop quickly and run to the front of the mall to look for the rickshaw. In front of the mall, there are tons of people ordering rickshaws as well using the app, so I have to ask each one individually if it's for my friends name. I take out my work phone from my backpack because I want to call my friend and ask him where it's at and what color is it. I see 2 missed calls from him a minute ago, meaning he called me while I was running to the front of the mall and I didn't hear it. I decide to call him back as I am looking for my rickshaw. He doesn't pick up, so I call at least 10 times. Unable to find my rickshaw, I continue to call, but no answer. I go back into the mall because I couldn't find the rickshaw and continue to call him, but he doesn't pick up. I get so mad that he's not picking up my calls and walk back to my hostel in the blistering heat. Once I get WiFi at my hostel, I hop onto Facebook messenger and message him saying he's the most unreliable friend ever. I drop F-Bombs in the heat of the moment of having to walk back in the blistering heat. He says he called me, but I didn't pick up (the two times when I was running towards the front of the mall). He also says that he saw on the ride-hailing app that I was picked up and in transit to my destination, so assumed that I was fine. I yell at him with F-Bombs saying that the 20 missed calls did not spark a sign that I was not fine? He says that he only got 1 missed call from me. I then say that he shouldn't at least called me back asking if I got on and if I was fine while dropping some F-Bombs again. I dropped a lot of F-Bombs because I was really really really mad that I walked back to my hostel in the blistering heat and how he didn't pick up my phone calls once. (he has a history of not picking up my calls when I try to call him, but messages me fairly quickly for some reason). He then says how I should not be speaking to him like that He says he tried to help me and it's my fault that I didn't pick my my phone and I should never contact him again (for the way I spoke). I then respond with okay fine, good riddance.
Am I the asshole? Are we both assholes? Are we making a big deal out of nothing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
D67mocAVy9NnPQqt6CCsbrWDKJ5k1Rv5
|
abiar4
|
{
"description": "asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me",
"pronormative_score": 707,
"contranormative_score": 56
}
|
AITA for asking boyfriend why he packed condoms for a trip he's taking without me?
|
Sadly this is a serious question.
In an exclusive (not open) relationship for 8 months. BF [30s] is leaving abroad for 3 weeks and invited me [also 30s] over last night since it was the last time we'd see each other for a while. He wasn't done packing for the trip, so there was stuff everywhere.
I saw the condoms in his clear Ziploc bag (NOTE: plainly visible, I did not open or snoop through anything) of toiletries so of course I asked about them. His response was that he always keeps them in there and didn't bother taking them out for the trip.
Reddit, I watched him combine OTC meds from two bottles into one bottle to save space on this trip. I don't think anything in his bag is in there by "accident." But now he's giving me the silent treatment and acting like I ruined New Year's for asking this.
AITA for being (and remaining) suspicious of this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 52,
"OTHER": 678,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 29,
"INFO": 29
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 707,
"WRONG": 56
}
|
RIGHT
|
8lEZE5PQrWsO7PGP8UtJ7UJGevu2Q9xX
|
a7iquj
|
{
"description": "not telling my teacher that I'm not going to be his TA next semester",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA If I don’t tell my teacher that I’m not going to be his TA next semester?
|
Some background: I didn’t choose to be his TA in the first place, but my counselor put me into his class. I’ve never had him as a teacher before, and we hardly ever talked while I was his TA. We’re not friends, and I would go so far as to say we don’t even really have a strong working relationship.
But next semester I’m gonna be TAing for the teacher across the hall, and I’m not sure if I should talk to my current teacher about it or not.
Honestly, it makes no difference to me either way, and based on his general attitude I don’t think it makes much of a difference for him either, especially because there will still be another TA in that class. He didn’t make us TAs do a whole lot, and he probably won’t even notice that I’m gone.
So I wasn’t planning on telling him
Would I be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
dR81BnwGaL2Ff390xgB1NKh4DPJrCjoR
|
b1w9m2
|
{
"description": "being annoyed about this",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed about this
|
Lemme start off by saying that I’m not a materialistic person. My bf and I have been together for 4 years, and for most of it, I’ve been the one to pay for everything. We don’t really get each other Christmas, anniversary, or Valentine’s Day presents.
He recently got a job, so this year he insisted that we actually buy eachother presents for Vday. I went all out, and he kept saying he felt bad cause my present was gonna be a week late cause he was gonna get a lot of stuff for me and needed to have money for it.
Yeah well, a month has passed. Every week he keeps saying “oh shit I’ve gotta order your present” and keeps complaining that he won’t have much money because “I’ve gotta order your present”. It’s to the point where he told me what it is. Ruined the surprise entirely.
It’s just kinda lost the value at this point. The whole point was that it was a present he WANTS to get me for VALENTINES DAY. Vday was a month ago and he keeps acting like it’s SUCH a drag to have to get me something.
I don’t even want it at this point. I kinda liked the surprise aspect. One of the items is a sweater and spring is already coming pretty soon so....
My feelings are just kinda hurt cause I don’t understand why he didn’t wanna get me something nice. He kept talking it up and now keeps acting like it’s a bother. I put so much thought into his gifts. I didn’t even wanna do presents this year but he insisted. Now it just feels like I put a lot of money and heart into it and wasn’t really given any thought in return.
This was the first time in a while that we were gonna get eachother nice gifts.
AITA for being hurt and kinda angry that he didn’t follow through??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
6c37bwmpZBg6ZP0knbBW8DTt8t25dmqk
|
am4luy
|
{
"description": "attacking a girl who attacked my birthday present for my husband",
"pronormative_score": 97,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for attacking a girl who attacked my birthday present for my husband?
|
Pretty short story.
My husband turned 26 yesterday and I bought him a PS4 Pro and a game he enjoyed as a kid. I posted the pictures on my Facebook of what I’d bought him and his cousins girlfriend responded “oh, I bought that for (the cousin) on Christmas, you’re not special.”
I immediately was pissed as fuck because
1) I make about 500$ every two weeks, so this gift cost me my entire check, and I was very proud of it and excited for him to have it. He’s wanted one for years.
2) they literally just had a baby in November and were asking us for money for diapers and formula just two weeks ago. But they had enough for a $400 game system?
I called her out on it and she called me a bitch but I’m still feeling like I had a right to call her out when she tried to make me feel like what I had gotten my husband wasn’t special because she had done it on Christmas. Now she’s mad at me for calling out her parenting skills.
She is 20, he is 26.
I am 24, husband is now 26. We have and will always have 0 children. If any of that matters.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 96,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 5
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 97,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
RIGHT
|
AaewRj5H0B0WpnpH3voJq5dknYy1nqzZ
|
a73x4o
|
{
"description": "drawing an overweight girl as overweight",
"pronormative_score": 360,
"contranormative_score": 34
}
|
AITA for drawing an overweight girl as overweight?
|
So me and my coworkers did a secret santa exchange this year. I don't know my giftee that well, but I knew she was a big cat person so I drew her on shrinking paper holding her cat and shrunk it down into an ornament. Now my giftee is a rather large girl and I drew her body type to represent that.. nothing super unflattering kinda like a Steven Universe body type. I thought it turned out really cute, and was excited to give it to her.
Well we exchanged gifts last night and she seemed less than thrilled with it, I later find out she went to the bathroom and cried because "I made her feel fat" and now my coworkers are telling me I am an asshole for drawing her as over weight. Honestly I am a bit hurt myself because I put a lot of time into her gift and thought it was nice. Should I have drawn her as thin even if she is not? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 31,
"OTHER": 339,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 21,
"INFO": 9
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 360,
"WRONG": 34
}
|
RIGHT
|
Q3BaPJOMKeYkz7al9q57jZAk0fTRShj5
|
answ90
| null |
AITA Ex friend womt leave me alone and I'm considering going to the police
|
First time posting but I need to vent and get this off my chest. My ex best friend had become so problematic and toxic I had to walk away.
Backstory: We were friends from about year seven up until the last few months. She started working and I eventually heard nothing from her. I understood she had work and still tried to make as much for her as I could. She started leaving ne alone for everyone else and I still tried to justify it by saying she's allowed other friends I shouldn't be selfish.
But after she separated from her ex it's all gone down hill. He was very manipulative and controlling and did not like me one bit. When ever it went to the shit bin I always stood up for what I believed in and helped her as much as could. It got to the point I was trying to get her to separate from him as it was clearly toxic and not healthy for the both of them. After all this he broke up with her a few days before Christmas(2017).
Then she went off the rails. I didn't mind shes allowed to let loose but then it started to become a frequent problem. I wouldn't here from here for weeks even months at a time and then all of a sudden I needed to see her to hear her gossip. She was out partying and hanging out with all these people and whenever I wanted to talk to her I wouldn't hear from her and ot became pretty clear that the only time she wanted to hear from me was when she had no one else. It hurt like hell but she was my best friend I wanted to be there and I fought so hard for this friendship but how can you sustain something that the other persons refuses to try in.
Then when I was visiting family because of my birthday she decided to text me then all of days to tell me something happened. No birthday text or anything but a few days later a text out of the blue telling me she had something to tell me and wouldn't tell me until I said there's no point in not telling me. She kissed my ex and said she wasn't sure when or how to tell me. She said she just wanted to let me know. That was the final straw for me. I had put up with everything but she tried to ruin a fun day out with my family and that hurt. So I stopped contacting her. It's not like she ever messaged me in the first place. I distanced my self and stayed away as clearly there was a lot of things going on and I struggle to cope with a lot all at once.
But then things got bad really quick. Once she realised I wasn't trying with her all of a sudden my phone constantly blowing up wanting to talk and catch up. I told her I was hurting and needed space so please leave me alone. Since then she has messaged on separate numbers all of which I have had to block constant harassment to the point where I have had to block her and so many people off of social media so I didn't have to talk to her. Everytime she reached out I told her I just want to be left alone. And now it has escalated to her messaging family and stalking my via my mother's Facebook scanning for anything to do with my life. I got a random text telling me congrats for passing my driving test and I guess si dint want anything to do with her.(The only person that posted about my test was my mom so it was obvious how she found out)
It's becoming very stalker like for me and I am genuinely worried and scared because I have asked so many times to be left alone. Today I had a breakdown because she messaged my mother asking what time I was at college so she could go down face to face to confront me and talk to me. I was terrified as I hate confrontation and try to avoid it. Then when I spoke to my mother about maybe getting the police involved she flipped out. Telling me not to be so pathetic and that's taking it to far etc. And basically screamed at me for being afraid.
I'm really unsure of what to do. I also want to make it clear I did speak to her and explained how I was feeling and she turned it into me being the bad guy trying to guilt me and when I said I had had enough that I just want to move on with my life can she please just let me do so and she didn't respond until like 4 weeks later on a completely different number.
Seriously I'm losing my sanity and I just am unsure whether I am going insane or if what I'm doing is a perfectly logical response.
TD;LR
Ex friend won't leave me alone and is causing distress and I have no idea what to do about it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
12UlU9j7m1VC4YhWMKtjFI1uZEdYcgfZ
|
agkxyi
|
{
"description": "talking on the phone during agreed upon quiet hours (after 10pm) and for kissing my bf during the day",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for talking on the phone during agreed upon quiet hours (after 10pm) and for kissing my bf during the day?
|
My roommate and I live in a suite-style double room and have been having some conflict since the beginning of the school year. Apparently the walls are super thin and she can hear everything, including whispering. She goes to bed really early and wakes up early as well. I don’t have as much of a structured schedule so I stay up later sometimes.
Early on I would have my bf over and we would study or chat pretty frequently and until late at night in my room. Not yelling or shouting, just regular conversations. She approached me and kindly requested that we have quiet hours starting at 10 pm and I agreed. We tried whispering and spending more time in his room.
A few weeks later my roommate approached me again about the noise. She said it was super frustrating for her to come home and try to nap/study but have to listen to us making out all the time. She asked if we could refrain from doing that while she’s at home, so usually after 6pm. I told her that since her door is always closed anyway it’s hard for me to know when she is or isn’t home. So we decided that she would put up a sticky note (2 different colours) on her door to indicate if she’s here or not. That way, if I’m aware she’s here it’s a reminder to be more mindful.
At this point I have to admit I was getting annoyed by the situation. I thought quiet hours after 10pm was reasonable but to tell me that making out with my bf is distracting her, I don’t think that’s fair. She can go to a study room or stay at the library but it’s not like there’s any designated area for us to make out. I think I should have some liberty in what I do in the privacy of my own room.
Anyways to avoid dealing with it, my bf and I agreed to just comply whenever we remember and try to go to his room when we want to be intimate. He has roommates as well but they game all day so I don’t think they’re bothered (hopefully).
We’ve just came back from winter break and I guess I forgot about some of the rules we set up. I was on the phone (indoor voice, not yelling or whispering) for about an hour from 10pm to 11pm and then received a text from my roommate saying “I’ve been trying to sleep for the past hour...”. I get these texts all the time and usually reply with something along the lines of “sorry I’ll try to keep it down” but I was annoyed and impulsively replied with “ok, why didn’t you message me earlier? why do you assume I know when your bedtime is”
I think my reply was asshole-y but what is a reasonable expectation on her part? If we agreed to quiet hours, does that entitle her to expect complete silence?
She said she’s tried everything including earplugs but they hurt her ears. We also seem to have conflicting temperature preferences but that might need to be saved for another post lol
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
WPUfz9BDc0NNBV7QkyKKS7Wfx0jKl7Wz
|
b5qtls
|
{
"description": "using emojis that don't directly reflect the tint of skin I have in real life",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
Aita for using emojis that don’t directly reflect the tint of skin I have in real life.
|
Some girl I’m friends with is calling me weird and kinda racist for using emojis with a darker reflection then I have. I in no way use the emojis as a way to ridicule or denigrate other races. Just to confirm that I read and acknowledged their message. 👍🏾. There isn’t a tint of emoji that matches my natural reflection, so why would I be a racist for not using the palest one?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
NNb5sG7GTxH3WDFJJ8K3JFQH6weRlorQ
|
a4hfal
|
{
"description": "telling my gf only I can joke about her ex's penis",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my gf only I can joke about her ex’s penis?
|
So, I know you guys will think I’m shit posting but I’m not I promise.
A little backstory:
Me and my gf got to talking about our exes and one way or another got to talking about who had the biggest penis of all of her exes. Spoiler it wasn’t me. Turns out to be this guy named, Riley. Well after learning about his large member, instead of getting mad or dropping it I decided to tease her from time to time about it.
Anyway, one day I had my brothers and friends over and we ordered some pizza. Well the pizza was rather under done and soggy. We were all laughing about when my brother pulls it out of the box and it drops over both sides of his arms.
My gf immediately quips, “haha that thing is big and droopy just like Riley’s dick.”
Shock hits the room as I now have to explain who Riley is, that I was inferior to him in that department and it was awkward.
So everyone leaves and I’m a little salty. I mean I would joke with her about it every once in a while, but to hear her talk about his penis as large, as if it was on her mind didn’t sit right with me.
Now, I didn’t get seriously mad or anything but I told her that me making fun of it was different than her bringing it up. She says I’m being a hypocrite but to me there is a clear distinction. I do it I guess because it’s better to laugh at the situation than to get my feelings hurt, she does it, well I don’t know why she did it but it bothers me that she’d do that in front of my friends. She says my jokes never bothered her and she doesn’t see the big deal.
AITA for having a double standard?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
xyoJNWrK1icuT5u4yRMRfcpePucPAmZ0
|
aqs58r
|
{
"description": "snaping at a coworker for theit attitude",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for snaping at a coworker for theit attitude?
|
Backstory: I work at a pizza place as a delivery driver. I've been their the longest but don't hold any power over my coworkers. The job is not hard in any way but there is an amount of work we are each expected to do each day. Mainly prep. Wings, sauce, pastas, dishes, boxes, etc.
I work morning shift and there are a total of three drivers in the morning. Me, the one I snapped at, and one that wasn't involved. We split the prep while dealing with school lunches and normal deliveries.
The one I snapped at we will call R. R was having a bad attitude from the start of the day. Not wanting to work, blowing off what people said, and just generally being an asshole. We got most of prep done and we're just working on boxes by late afternoon. We we're chatting about random stuff till the subject of OCD came up and the conversation goes as follows.
Me: ya OCD sucks I hope I never get it.
R: no I'd love to have it my room would be so organized.
Me: I think you're thinking of OCPD not OCD. OCPD is where you like to organize stuff.
R: same thing
Me: no quite different. OCD is Over Compulsive Disorder. An example would be you have to touch every surface in a room or else something terrible will happen. OCPD is Over Compulsive Personality Disorder. An example of this is needing to straighten things up because it annoys you.
R: *super smarmy* ya same thing
At this point I am quite annoyed by his attitude. The conversation went on about another co-worker we have who likes to straighten the boxes in to perfect stacks. I won't bore you with the details but I finally snapped at him when he started making fun of said coworker for straightening the boxes like a "maniac"
I snap at him and tell him his attitude needs to stop. He avoided me the rest of the day. I brought it up with his dad who also works there and his dad said that he was happy that I snapped at him.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
3eRLhdew3rai2uDbjlRfkXja636PoU3d
|
ag6up2
|
{
"description": "not letting my ex step brother stay over at my house for a week",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting my ex step brother stay over at my house for a week?
|
I know I probably am an asshole but I just want it confirmed.
Backstory:
So my mum was married to a guy for 12 years, he was my 'dad' for that time ages 5 to 17 until they broke up and me and my mum and brothers moved out. So the step dad had a son from a previous marriage that broke down he was 3 years older than me so we were really close. He lived with us when we were younger and moved out when he was 16 and I was 12.
So the 'dad' sexually abused me for years. It was a very traumatic childhood for me. I never told anyone about it because I was always scared no one would believe me. 6 years ago My grandad on my mum's side passed away and at the funeral I received a text from the step dad who wasn't invited saying that he was glad he was dead but he wished it was my mum instead. I was in the bathroom when I received this text and I just broke down. My step brother heard me and came in (we were all still close to him so he was invited to the funeral). It all came out and I told him everything. We cried and hugged. Then he told me it all happened to him too but much worse. So my mind was totally fucked and we never talked again for the next 5 years.
Now to the asshole part:
We live two hours away from each other and going through the process of court to get the 'dad' taken down. We phone maybe once a month to talk because tbh we are both really struggling, this court process is rough and find comfort in each other. I met him last week for the first time in 6 years and he has changed he looks crazy like his dad I mean like his dad's DOUBLE. I Was so excited to see him and when he opened the door I had a full on panic attack. I had to try and ignore it as he was all excited and hugging me. I went by myself so we went into his house and I was watching him and he has exactly the same mannerisms as his dad and I really struggled to cope. I had to find an excuse to leave after 30 minutes because it was just triggering me in all sorts of ways imaginable.
So I got back home and I don't know but I've kind of distanced myself from him. He phoned me last week and he was like help me I need space from my life do you think it would be okay if I came and stayed at your house for a week. The first thing I did was totally panic!! I was like let me talk to my husband and hung up. I still haven't got back to him about it. I have a 2 year old and I try to Keep my head above water to be the best mum I can to him but I'm scared this will push me over the edge. He really needs support right now and talking about killing himself, I can't have that my responsibility if I say no !! I know he is a victim just like I am but he is literally his dad walking. I keep thinking about seeing him in the dark or whatnot and having mental breakdowns, if I had a panic attack the whole half an hour I met him how am I gonna cope having him staying here for a week???
If I tell him no then AITA!???
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
EhhBztyRjw3HQUZVJrrc7Or4NT1W2Doc
|
b0g6bn
|
{
"description": "not wanting someone to come over",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting someone to come over
|
Throwaway account because said person knows my account.
I recently moved in to an apartment a few months ago with my close friend from high school that I haven't seen in 5 years.
My friend has an outgoing personality that loves hanging out with others and socializing. I like to be alone after a long day at work.
A few nights ago, I was having a terrible day at work and got very little amount of sleep. Work has been terrible these past few weeks with the looming thread that I might get fired. After grabbing dinner from a nearby restaurant, my friend wanted to invite people over while I wanted to go to bed. I've told him about my lack of sleep to him for the past few days, however, he insisted on his co-worker coming over. After a few back and forth, he was relentless about having his co-worker over.
They ended up going to a nearby bar when the co-worker arrived at the door. After a few days, we both ended up apologizing to each other.
I realize that it his apartment too and he has every right to invite anyone he wants. I just want to sleep especially with everything that has been going on with work.
Am I the asshole for not wanting any one to come over?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
UNmrSrnuHcVp60lZrSnv5CGGL4ruZSgH
|
b180mi
|
{
"description": "uninviting my 'best friend' to a concert we bought tickets for together and taking someone else",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for uninviting my ‘best friend’ to a concert we bought tickets for together and taking someone else?
|
I’ve only know this girl (Sara) for a little over a year, but in the beginning of our friendship we got really close really fast and hung out multiple times a week. She is so sweet and I genuinely do like her, but ever since she got with her boyfriend ~7 months ago she has been extremely flakey. Suddenly ‘had homework’ or a ‘family emergency’ every time we were supposed to hang out and such- she even cancelled on coming to my 18th birthday dinner an hour before. She was the only person I had invited. She has lied to me before about having to work doubles so that she could get out of our plans, but I don’t call her out because I hate confrontation. I did mention something about her cancelling all the time once and she went into a monologue about how everything’s been so hard with her Dad going through cancer treatment and her anxiety about college and her being away from her boyfriend, which of course made me feel bad for bringing it up. It feels like all she talks about with me anymore is how awful her family treats her, how her dad’s threatening to kick her out, stuff like that.
We have gone to two concerts in the past, we always buy the tickets together (I’ll be on FaceTime with her while we pick our seats), I always pay for both of them up front, and she never pay me back for hers until the day of the concert despite me asking for the money beforehand multiple times.
A few months ago her boyfriend moved across the country. She flies to visit him or vice versa every 3-4 weeks (no I’m not exaggerating). We were supposed to go to a concert together this weekend, we’ve had these plans for 5 months, and she just now told me that the day of the concert is the day she’s flying to see her boyfriend again and ‘the airline won’t let her’ cancel or reschedule the flight. So this leaves me scrambling to get a refund or resell the tickets with the concert just a few days away. Also, I saw on her Snapchat that her flight was actually today, not the day of the concert.
Anyways, to the point- a few months ago we planned to go to a big concert together. We were on FaceTime together and picked our seats, then of course I paid for them ($350) and of course she hasn’t mentioned paying me back. It’s not till May but I’m worried she’ll cancel at last minute and I’ll be out both our ticket money (I wouldn’t go alone). I’ve recently gotten close again with my childhood best friend (Chrissy) and I really want to invite Chrissy to go with me instead of Sara because I know Chrissy will be genuinely excited, pay me as soon as she can, and not flake out.
So that finally brings me to my question- WIBTA for doing so? I feel terrible that I’m even considering it, because I really genuinely do like Sara, she’s great company when she actually shows up to our plans, but everyone tells me that she walks all over me and she’s a manipulator. I don’t feel like she is but I have a history of letting my friends walk all over me so I can’t be sure. Any opinions appreciated!!
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
bcNxxKkP43rEYDkevBiLuKhz81BskasQ
|
afk72e
|
{
"description": "wanting my friend to aknowledge that he's romantically involved with someone",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my friend to aknowledge that he's romantically involved with someone?
|
I 33f have a friend 37m. We worked together for 6 years and since he left the company a year ago we've kept in touch and will occasionally grab lunch. He's a very open person, we read each other well and nothing we talk about ever seems awkward even when it's something I wouldn't feel comfortable discussing with other friends. Religion, politics, sex, family, child abuse, the death of his parent it's all on the table. However, he has never talked about or mentioned his SO.
I never saw a problem with this. I figured we were don't ask don't tell and if he wanted to talk about someone he was seeing he would bring it up. I'd heard through mutual work friend he had a long term gf since HS and they were a little on and off. I never considered it might be inappropriate for us to be friends.
Last week, I ran into him having lunch with two ladies I assumed were coworkers. I stopped at his table to say hello. This was my mistake. I had clearly made him uncomfortable. He gave an overly enthusiastic account of who these women were (they went to HS together) and who I was and why I would be saying hello. I got the dirtiest look of my life from these women. I slunk back to eat with my campanion.
I sent him a text later jesting at the awkwardness. It was clearly still awkward for him so I just asked him if I got him in trouble. I bring up that he's never talked about his SO and is it something he wants me to ask about. He launched into a whole thing about being a really private person and not wanting to talk about his personal life since he's from small town and everyone gets in everyone's business.
I call bullshit. Its fine if this is something he doesn't want to share with me, and he's open with others about it so it's not a secret. He says its the only thing he considers personal. Dude. Really?
I tell him if my friendship with him will hurt his relationship he needs to tell me and I'll stop. I'd be pissed if my SO was friends with a woman and I didn't know about it. Boundries are important in any relationship and it shouldn't even appear anything inappropriate is happening. He's sulking and ignoring me.
Tl/dr: Am I an asshole for wanting my friend to tell me when he has a gf since male/female relationships can cause trust issues for couples?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
vNxus5YDTnvuNFT2OEw8Gbt2cSHnIqJK
|
an2l5q
|
{
"description": "wanting to go to Australia without my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For wanting to go to Australia without my Girlfriend?
|
So basically my friends and I enjoy travelling a lot. We’ve been many places together, both domestically and abroad. They recently found some cheap tickets to Australia and pulled the trigger to go there at the end of 2019.
Here is the issue. My girlfriend and I spend a lot of time together. Probably 5-6 days a week. I’m happy with this and everything, but we have had issues in the past where she gets upset that I make plans with other people because she wants to spend that time with me. For the most part, we get over them and she apologizes for being too controlling of my time. Early in our relationship, I went on a trip abroad with a friend of mine and it was kind of hard on her to be apart from me even though we did a really good job of keeping in contact and talking while I was away.
Now, we have already taken a few trips together, but nothing internationally. We talked about maybe taking a trip abroad, maybe to Europe sometime in the not so distant future. She mentioned that she’d really like to go to Australia or Europe, but we had talked a lot more about going to Italy or Spain. Now, when my friends mentioned that they were ready to make plans to go to Australia, I wanted to jump in on it.
The problem is that my girlfriend got really upset that I wanted to go to Australia, a place she specifically also wanted to go to. The thing is this is a trip that was initiated by my friends. I would love to go with her to Australia, but when its just her and me. If she comes with me and my friends, I fear that I will only spend time with her while we’re over there and I won’t really get to share the experience with my friends the way I would like to. I tried to compromise with her and promise her that we can go there another time, or we can pull the trigger and go on some other trip that she wants to go on, just the two of us. None of that worked and both of us were upset because she wanted to go with me to Australia, and I wanted to go to Australia with just my friends. I am really trying to be compromising and finding the best way that we can both be happy.
After fighting about it for about a day, she had some other plans and we split apart for most of the day. In the evening I saw her again and she apologized for being controlling of me and in her words “just because I can’t go, doesn’t mean I should stop you from going.” I felt a lot better after that and even bought the tickets. But now, a day later, I feel really guilty of the whole thing. I don’t know if I was in the right or not, and just want to know if I’m being unreasonable about the whole situation.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
8QFNjb5ttDQjEyHWQhZwUTsJ5mUCOtQ3
|
b6ot38
|
{
"description": "telling the husband of a friend that she is cheating on him",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I told the husband of a friend that she is cheating on him?
|
I got this friend, lets call her Cindy, that I know since elemntary school. We are both in our late 20ies now. She is now married to «John» and they have a son.
Her family moved away so we lost touch. When I was 18 y/o, I've made some new friends and there was also John. One day John told us, that he met a girl and that they were dating.. Turned out to be Cindy. Fast forward, they are now married since 8 years and having a son.
As life would have it after a few years of marriage, everyday life took over and they wanted to spice up their sex life. So they tried swinger clubs (I know this, because Cindy shared the information with me). Not really my thing, but whatever floats your boat. Right?! In the case of John and Cindy I had my doubts. Both are kind of jealous people. However, they tried it a few times and seemed to like it. To have some security/controll they set one rule - The partner is always there, we do not swing separately.
So last weekend, we were having a girls night out due to her birthday. The evening started very well until she got drunk. We were having fun until I wanted to get some fresh air. Outside she told me, that she is having an affair with one of the guys from the swinger club. She showed me the whatsapp messages and deleted them in front of me. According to her, John is getting suspicious and is checking her phone. I told her, that this is not fair and since she does it behind John‘s back, this is cheating. This was ignored by her. Later we helped a girl that was getting harrased by a stranger. The girl and Cindy started to dance to make the guy disappear. As a thank you she wanted to buy us drinks. I refused and went to the toilett. Meanwhile Cindy and the girl went to the bar to drink a few shots. When I returned, the bartender which is a friend of mine told me that they were making out. I confronted Cindy but she just shrugged her shoulders. I told her that I wanted to leave and that we should get our jackets. She agreed and we went to get our jackets. Somehow on the way to the wardrobe, she managed to disappear. I found her in a toilet cabin with the other girl. It was clearly Cindy. They were clearly making out.
On our way home she asked me if she should tell John what happened. I said YES within a second. She then tried to make some lame excuses. She said something like "I am just not attracted to John anymore / I do not know if I still love him." When I asked why she wouldn't leave him, she said that she does not want to be alone with two kids. She also admitted, she does not feel guilty about making out with the girl. Should I tell John what I know? I gave her time to tell him but she hasn’t until now.
TL;DR: My friend cheated on her husband/babyfather with a girl, in front of me. In addition she admitted that she is having an affair with another man and deleted messages from this man in front of me. They visitied swinger clubs-only rule was, partner is there too. She has not told him yet. Should I tell him?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 15,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
grf4reCW6BZC5shBpVQbs6FgijoDIwiR
|
avsz4b
|
{
"description": "leaving the room once my wife falls asleep on the couch",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I leave the room once my wife falls asleep on the couch?
|
My wife loves to cuddle up on the couch with me fo watch TV. She doesn't usually last much longer than 9:30 or 10, and will fall asleep, usually using me as a glorified teddy bear. Which I dont mind at all.
But on evenings that I dont work the next day, I often stay up very late. I'm very much a night owl. So once she falls asleep, I'll often detach myself from her and go down to the man cave to play some video games. After an hour or so she'll wake up and be pissed off because I 'abandoned her.' She'll go to bed alone and somewhat upset because I'm not going to bed at the same time as her.
Am I the asshole? Should I stay on the couch with her and watch TV i dont really care about to make her more comfortable?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
LuuUWHtjDjdFglnL1pVxFFxs94svUWqK
|
9zew2z
|
{
"description": "tipping a man in quarters",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for tipping a man in quarters
|
I was on a ski camp with my ski team and went out to a German restaurant. Our waiter was mediocre and was really slow. We had to hours to spare and about an hour and a half in we asked for our bill. It totaled to $50 so I put a fifty dollar bill in and was going to ask for change. However, we waited another 20 minutes without him getting our bill and really had to go. So my friend and eye put our money together to make the $10 tip. The tip was one $5 bill two $1 bills and fifteen quarters. After we put it in, we rushed out the restaurant to get to our meeting. I still feel kinda bad for tipping fifteen quarters and was wondering if I should be.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
z78pJNio4PCv4w0RClNaHq4A9bAz6ZMH
|
b54t3y
|
{
"description": "leaving my dad out when me and my mom go on vacation",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my dad out when me and my mom go on vacation?
|
As a college graduation gift, my mom and I are going on a cruise. My dad and sister will not be be invited to go. My sister isn't going because she will get a gift as well when she graduates. There are a few reason why we aren't bringing my dad with.
1. We would need to get two cabins instead of one
2. It's a lot easier to coordinate what we are going to do and when since there would only be two of us
3. Having my dad with us can be kind of stressful. I love him, but our personalities clash and it's easy to set him off, so there is ALWAYS a fight when we go on vacation
4. I want to spend time with my mom because I don't get to spend a lot of time with her since her working hours are so long
When my mom told him, he was pretty disappointed. I feel really bad about it, but I also don't want to change it so he would be going with (the cruise is still a year away). It's not a regular thing where he gets left behind (I can only remember one other time where he didn't come with us and it was because he was doing his own trip somewhere).
AITA for leaving my dad out for this vacation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
MW4pvOGfcm2cz1MHuANsZWr7JgXplAzy
|
ai8tc3
|
{
"description": "cutting off a relationship of 6 years",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off a relationship of 6 years?
|
I’ll try and keep this as short as possible I really just need some opinions here.
So my first girlfriend ever, I’ll call her Kay had a really close and intense relationship for a year. A she was in a terrible spot when we dated as she lost a couple family members in the time we were dating and we ended up breaking things off because she was not in a place to have a relationship. So we stop talking for about 6 months.
Then we all of a sudden start talking again have been close ever since. We’ve talked , we have been intimate in these 6 years, we said how much we love each other and now just isn’t the right time for her but I’ve chased her and chased her and chased her. For 6 fucking years. Everytime is never the right time, even tho she says how much I mean to her and so on. We have both had other relationships in these 6 years but mother ever worked out because we both still aren’t over each other.
Well everytime we talk we talk for a week then she stops talking to me until she texts me, then we hang out exactly twice, then stop hanging again. She says she never has time but seems to always be out with her friends and other guy friends. I have asked over and over again why can’t we work this out and her response every time is that she’s afraid of it doesn’t work out we won’t be close anymore blah blah blah and I mean more to her than anyone else. I’ve been trying for 6 years for this to work and everytime something always happens where it doesn’t. So I stop talking to her and She’ll randomly text me again and I’m right back to square one. Hooked.
I’ve told her that we need to stop talking so I can move on and finally be happy but everytime she brings me back in and gives me hope. So I’ve came to the realization (finally) that she is probably just using me even tho it’s hard to believe just from how close we HAVE been and what she has said to me. So I really feel like I need to tell her to leave me alone.
So am I the asshole for finally cutting of this relationship? Everytime I bring it up she kinda puts me out as an asshole and how she could never just let me go like that. Love makes people blind (like me) and I think I just need to man up and move on from this shit. It’s the same cycle everytime. Thank you for your time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WyvRLbYfPBVNLuqZAns7TTCYV0BtO71h
|
akuvme
|
{
"description": "getting upset that new roommate brought her bf and bf's brother over at 4:30 am",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset that new roommate brought her bf and bf's brother over at 4:30 AM
|
Recently got a new roommate(wife's longtime friend)because we wanted to help her out. She has pretty strict parents so I figured it would be nice to help her develop outside of her parent's control. Shes 23, is usually polite, and helps around the house. Well not even a month in and she brings her drunk bf and his brother over with no heads up. Then proceeded to kick me(not literally, she just talked shit about sleeping on the couch till I got annoyed)and my brother off the couch(hella comfy) so her bf's brother can sleep there. I wasn't trying to jump to conclusions so I assumed it was some sort or emergency. Well I went to my room and within 5 mins all I can hear is their sexual noises. That's when it kinda ticked me off.
Only reason I feel like asking here is because my wife told me I was overreacting and "slut shaming her". We never layed down any house rules either, but I didn't think she'd pull something like this.
So am I the asshole for getting upset over this or...?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2mUnQFvATwu7qFJBbAtvYR1SFFRfinv0
|
atuenl
|
{
"description": "inviting someone who my friend doesn't like to the boxing",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for inviting someone who my friend doesn't like to the boxing?
|
Throwaway account
So in my friendship group there are 5 of us, one of them who we shall call "N" has slipped away and has become the odd one out of our group since he moved away. He isn't involved in our group chats on facebook and I have a feeling that the other 3 in my friend group don't really like him either. One of my other friends in the friend group is "J". J and I used to go to local boxing matches together for about a year, and we really enjoyed it. Now I'll admit, I've always had a soft spot for N and I let him take advantage of me sometimes, but I still like him as a friend, whereas J doesn't hate him, but finds him to be cringey and intrusive at times. J and N used to be really close, but like everyone else in the friendship group, J has drifted away from N recently. J made it clear to me that he didn't want N to start coming to the local boxing matches with us, but I decided to invite him along anyway as I still like N, a lot.. In fact, I've started gaining romantic feelings for N but he doesn't know, as I'm gay and he's straight, but I really like spending time with him anyway.
J ended up getting a bit upset with me, because he felt like I ruined the boxing matches by inviting N with us, because N isn't even really into boxing and it feels kind of awkward for J when he is there. We also have to take N home all the time as he doesn't drive, which adds about an extra 1.5 hours to the end of our night, which is when J and I used to hang out and watch cartoons at his place.
J is still coming to the boxing and likes it, but AITA for inviting N along when J told me he wasn't cool with it, or should I have a right to invite whoever I like?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
s3zNEiwp3aaU57PlmxDe0JMtbb2tCLvV
|
a8p5fk
|
{
"description": "confronting my coworker and asking them how they can be late every single day, after having them confront me about taking a 1.5 hour break a couple weeks ago",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For confronting my coworker and asking them how they can be late every single day, after having them confront me about taking a 1.5 hour break a couple weeks ago.
|
So we're going to call the person I am talking about B.
Backstory: One time last month a couple co-workers asked me if I wanted to go to Whole Foods (or a similar place, that sells lunch.. I can't remember the name) so I decided to go, it was a holiday so it was closed and we ended up eating at some random Asian place, basically this day we took a 1.5 hour break, I felt weird about it.
A week after the whole thing happened, other coworkers invited me to go buy food one day and they also invited B. Now normally I stay away from B and was feeling weird that I was about to have lunch with B.
So B ended up confronting me during lunch in a pretty aggressive way and that made me feel extra uncomfortable, but I played it cool and said we were stuck in traffic.
Here is the story:
Last Monday I messaged B and asked, "B, how can you come to work every single day late but try to confront me for my lunch breaks?" and B's reply was, "Yeah yeah. I know. I'm trying to get better about it. The last couple of weeks have been hard I've been dealing with a lot of shit", so then I said, "Feel better.. life is kinda hard, yeah." then B asked, "As for the lunch break thing, I was talking about the fact that it was an hour and a half break that one day. " so I said, "You said it in a very aggressive and confronting way. I think you need to reevaluate how you talk to people sometimes.", then she just went on about how she didn't mean it that way, then asked me if she really needed to reevaluate how she interacts with people. I lost it and said, "Yep, I think you need to reevaluate it. It makes people not like you that much." then she goes on about how not many people like her anyway. So in a helpful way, I said to her, "Then don't you think there is some type of social skill you need to pick up. Like.. I'm not saying there is something wrong with you.. I just think you are lacking a social skill.. I don't know what it is tho." then she goes on about having BPD, lacking many social skills, and understanding dogs way better than humans. I said, "Alright, are you going to therapy for it?" then she said, "Every month, it's one of those mental illnesses that you get to go to therapy probably until you're 50 or 60 for", in the end, I just wished her good luck.
So she turns around and says, "Can I ask, how is that I talk to people that they don't like?" (I've talked to other people and they definitely do not like how she acts sometimes, but I mostly gave her my account of why I stay away from her) so I said, "Okay, I'm not trying to do this because I don't like you or anything, but I truly feel put off by you because 1) cutting into conversations with a very loud, very assertive voice 2) the assertive voice you have going on, is indeed normal in some situations, but I feel like it isn't useful in EVERY. SINGLE. INTERACTION. YOU. HAVE. 3) I feel like when I talk to you, or hear you talk to other people - I can analyze in most of your conversations that you seem like the kind of person who wants to "one-up" the other person whenever possible - this is why I stay away from you. 3) The tone you speak in is just an overall I-think-I'm-better-than-you type of tone.. which.. makes me also want to stay away from you and stuff." and finished off with a, "But overall I think it's just in your actions.
I truly think you can be a good, nice friendly person.. but yeah..." and then she thanked me for the feedback and tried to tell me her life story and it went like this, "grew up in a situation where if you didn't assert yourself you were ignored, or worse. Didn't matter what was happening. Trust me when I say this, I was way worse years ago" and I replied, "But you're on your own now.. it's time to heal and change yourself. (My family home wasn't that good but I'm on my healing path tbh, but yes I understand you came from an abusive family). Tbh I'm not that good with socializing either.. like I've been trying to teach myself how to improve my social skills, people watching skills, etc. and I'm noticing stuff about myself and actively trying to change it." and she said, "I'm aware that I'm a "large personality"" and asked who doesn't like her so I said, "To be honest.. it shouldn't matter. What should matter is yourself, your mental health, and stuff. All I wish is for you to maybe find of peace of mind, make more friends, etc." and I tried to give her more advice but she said she was feeling really bad. I just said sorry and left it at that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
ybo2DTpYkOngsxNy70f6jwA8SAOsxWTH
|
ax8jg4
|
{
"description": "being annoyed that my niece is telling me everything about Tik Tok",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being annoyed that my niece is telling me everything about Tik Tok?
|
Hey. Let me explain, my niece is heavily addicted to Tik Tok, she tells me everything about it, I really didn't care too much. But nowadays she tells me everything. Later I told her i'm being annoyed by her telling me everything about Tik Tok. She didnt overreact, nor did I. She still didn't stop but she STILL tells me about it, just nowhere near as much as before.
​
Again I told her, but same thing. I really started talking w/ her less because of so. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 4
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
LAss44ZWNubhwzppgMTmbz5FChKQKYIM
|
a1g5wo
| null |
aita (post about my auntie)
|
so I suffer from quite severe anxiety and have constant panic attacks. my dad never really believed I had anxiety even after mum showed him the doctors note that said I had it.
he always told me to get over my panic attacks and that i was being silly.
A few months ago we went on a cruise and the rocking triggered quite a severe panic attack. (I fell the the floor, blacked out and started hyperventilating)
my dad did nothing and ignored me deciding that his beer was more important. my auntie who was with us at the time went to see if I was ok and I just started crying even more. (I felt horrible that my dad did not seem to care that his daughter was crying and had collapsed on the floor)
my auntie got pissed that my dad did not check on me, so told him he was a horrible father and unless he understood that I would have anxiety for most of my life and that it was something he would just have to accept as a part of who I am, he would not have a daughter anymore.
the next few days on that cruise my dad resented my auntie and was very pissed at her.
was my auntie the asshole for yelling at him? my dad seems to think so.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VbqIRCe84ifdTaQtZO8Qh54tucxj8Wnd
|
atnkth
| null |
AITA? If so, what could I have done differently?
|
I work at a grocery store as a "drug gm" (general merchandiser). A customer walked up to me and mentioned that how she heard something about a special deal of some sort (one that wasn't part of my department and that I wasn't aware of). She then pointed at a piece of paper that had some text on it (shopping list perhaps?) and stared at me expectantly. Knowing that she didn't ask a question, the only response I could come up with was "ok". Then her tone quickly turned aggressive and she started calling me rude, saying that I'm "the second person who was rude to her". My response to this was "what would you like?". Her answer was "I'm gonna speak to your manager (name)." At this point, she found the product that she was looking for, by pure chance alone and I figured that there was nothing more I could do to alleviate the situation, so I casually walked away.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
B7c00eogRkKocGPCI6rMOKdLWqmXHodp
|
b2tl4d
|
{
"description": "getting a drink after a final and not telling my so",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting a drink after a final and not telling my SO
|
This just happened, so I had a final (quarter system) that ended at 930PM when I usually end at 9PM. It was more rough then usual. I’m pursuing a doctorate in engineering, and wanted a drink. I knew my SO would question it since I havent spent much time with her since I’ve been studying so much and I work full time. I stop for a drink which was less then 5 minutes, grabbed food and then went home. I was home by 1015PM. I gave her a kiss then asked if I’ve been drinking, not lying I said yes I had a drink. Now she’s furious that I’m being shady, when all I wanted was a drink to celebrate the end of this term. Am I in the wrong for not telling her I stopped for a drink, literally for 5 minutes?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
whY35z1P3MVHsr83xChLGFLj2LGFRHyT
|
b1u0b2
|
{
"description": "giving my d&d group cooking wine",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA If I give my d&d group cooking wine?
|
I've been hosting my d&d group at my home once a week for almost a year now. At the beginning of this group I generally bought a $10 bottle of wine and others would bring snacks. The problem is that I have bought wine every week, there have been about 3 times I remember not being in charge of the alcohol. Someone brings snacks about once a month but I very much like being tipsy while dealing with our chaotic evil rouge who's 12 aparently(the character not the player).
I love this group but buying 2 bottles of semi-nice wine once a week is a little much for my budget right now. Last game I bought 2 bottles of wine for $5 and one of the other players complained that it tasted like cooking wine. Trying to be diplomatic I suggested she bring her own wine because I think I'm going to keep buying this one for a while. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
mQdB7H7DkWJUv9Qg6ZuDMEHpIScfD6Qi
|
a8dj34
|
{
"description": "not offering friends my leftovers",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not offering friends my leftovers?
|
My boyfriend, two of his friends, and I were out at a diner. We all ordered (intending to pay separately, as usual) and I ultimately wasn't that hungry so halfway through I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to finish my plate. This is pretty common and the two friends would've almost certainly seen me do this before. He agreed so I pushed my plate over to him.
One of the friends said "well, *I'd* like some too" in a pissed off tone and started helping herself to my leftovers. The other friend said "yeah, me too" and took a piece of food from my plate as well. My boyfriend didn't say anything so neither did I, but the tone struck me as somewhat rude.
Was I the asshole for not offering them any to begin with? I felt like since it was my food, I would get to choose who ate it. As far as I can recall we never shared food while eating out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
vkG2SZhwoLuzmxwglwL5TFIVM7ah5VO5
|
amomu3
|
{
"description": "having sex with a girl that was about to end her relationship",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For having sex with a girl that was about to end her relationship?
|
Just the day after I (19yo m) came back home from a trip abroad, me and two housemates decided to go out that night. One of my housemates had already invited two of her friends (f) (they had dinner with us) and me and my other housemate invited some of ours too (they arrived around 10pm).
Anyways, we drank a lot and played a few drinking games. Around 11:45pm I had to go to the toilet, but so did one of my housemates friends. We kinda stayed on the hallway of our dorm and we kept talking. I liked talking to her, I've always been a guy who loves a good conversation and this was one of them. We also discovered that our birthdays were on the same date, which was quite surprising.
Anyways, my housemate had told me that the girl I was in a conversation with has been in an relationship for two years, but that she was waiting for the right moment to end it.
We talked for 1,5h. After that we went out. Once we were settled in a nice club we started drinking some more and after some shots we started kissing. I ended up taking her back to my home, which isn't that far because i live right in the city centre, and we had sex. After that we just went back to the club to our mates.
Anyways, since I'm quite a sensitive guy, i kinda started feeling guilty, "should i have done it", "was it the right thing to do". I kinda do blame myself, eventhough I've asked several people, and they all say that it was hers.
Just to illustrate, I am quite sensitive and really unconfident, shy and careful when I approach girls. "Fixing" girls in a club has never been my thing, it only worked out because we had talked a lot. I also dont identify myself with the term "f*ckboy", I am not trying to "fix" as many girls as possible.
Ps. She ended the relationship the day after it happened, even though she planned to wait two more weeks.
Feel free to ask for more information, I'm trying to be brief, but if you wanna know details I'll be more than happy to provide them. If it seems like a chaos: welcome in my head, I'm still trying to grasp what happened, I'll be happy to clarify. All I wanna know if i really should be blaming myself like I'm doing now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
fYBhHDGVZcQktDPuTuQ7yVQQfduoiJGd
|
9y7g7q
|
{
"description": "being unable to quiet my 2 year old's footsteps",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being unable to quiet my 2 year old's footsteps?
|
I live on the top floor of an apartment building with my 2 and 5 year old kids. Our downstairs neighbor complained that the 2 year old's footsteps are too loud. I spent $1000 on area rugs and padding, downstairs neighbor is still complaining and threatening to sue. He says I should just ask the 2 year old to walk more quietly. I said I'd ask but there's literally nothing else I can do. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 20,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZhcMzUfKOXgkWwRhqcV3diIhZmYUNQh8
|
b6m9uv
| null |
AITA - Family vacation with kids, Inlaws, Brother In Law's family, and my single brother in law...
|
We just recently went on vacation. We all had a fantastic time. One of the things we agreed to do very early on in the trip was to split costs equally. This was mostly to help out my single brother in law since the rest of us were going as couples.
Anyways, long story short, the trip was great. No issues whatsoever. Food Budgets came back and they were basically relatively even anyways so no concerns there, but then after the trip was over, we were give our totals to pay for the car rentals.
My wife and I Split a car with her parents, and the two brothers split their rental.
Our rental came out to be somewhere around 850 CAD after conversion. Their rental came out to be around 1350 CAD after conversion.
Long story short we were expected to pay a rounded up figure of about 640 dollars for our rental after the totals were split 7 ways. (The numbers here are slightly off, and not in my favour).
Anyways, I was quite pissed off about this, because their rental was almost double the cost of our rental and I inquired as to why. We got our rental with our own insurance, they payed for their insurance with the rental company as well as added on premium roadside assistance and got a higher model van.
Long story short, I was pretty pissed off, and my wife didn't want me to say anything but I didn't feel right. So I spent the majority of the day discussing it with her and figuring out a more "fair" way to pay for these rental cars since we were essentially paying over 70 percent of our own rental.
I knew we were going to have to help her brother out and that was only fair, so I decided that we (myself, my wife, and her parents) would pay off the "missing quarter" of their rental car (they only had 3 paying adults in that van as opposed to our four) and then pay half of our own vehicles. It was a difference of I believe , 22 dollars per person or something, but it gave me piece of mind knowing that we were at least alleviated in some way.
So, once I presented this plan, there was a long day of silence, and her father responded with "everyone pay the same amount as we would pay, and we will pay the difference"
This pissed me off even more, because now I looked extremely petty (even tho I still had no problem absorbing a large portion of their van) So I just said NVM, we will pay it and I immediately sent out the initial amounts.
Still kind of irked about.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
pkYzmPyTXcWxjtVcPi21giLbwBjsAEL2
|
b759zz
|
{
"description": "being upset that my brother in-law cleaned our house",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for being upset that my brother in-law cleaned our house?
|
Throwaway because my husband Reddits.
Neither my husband or I are neat freaks but I wouldn’t say we are total slobs either. There’s usually a bit of clutter on our dining room table and the bathroom may not be sparkling clean at all times, but it’s far from old food laying around or visible grime. I try to deep clean each room every couple weeks so it doesn’t get too bad.
Anyways. My brother in law moved in with us a couple weeks ago. Nobody knows how long he is staying. Whatever, we have a guest room, it doesn’t cost us any extra to have him there until he can get back on his feet. A couple of days ago I flew home to see my parents and help them through a tough time. Important to note, before I left both my husband and I cleaned the house so his brother would be comfortable while I was gone. I thought it was looking pretty good.
Today my husband texted me that my BIL deep cleaned the house and now it looks great. My immediate reaction was to annoyance and embarrassment. I’m ashamed that a guest felt like they had to clean up after us and I’m kind of mad he just took it upon himself to clean up our house. I didn’t think it was that dirty. I told my husband to tell his brother thanks but then told him how I felt. He thought I was being ungrateful and unwilling to accept help. So reddit, am I the asshole here? I know his brother was probably only doing it to be nice but I am still upset that he spent hours scrubbing all our stuff.
TL;DR: my brother in law cleaned my whole house, am I wrong to be unhappy that he did it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
xcm0IALVW1TXQpX2NfMrDHX2rXInu2oU
|
ajy8u7
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut off my friends over a video game",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut off my friends over a video game
|
I feel so babyish and stupid for this but I’m really in my feeling over this.
So the background is I’ve been playing this game(NBA 2K) for about 4 years now with some friends. We play a 5v5 game mode. It’s just basketball if you asked someone who’s never played basketball how to play.
So we got to this year we’ve all split going to different states, so it’s really the only chance we get to talk now. We played together like usual for the first couple of months. But the last 2 weeks they’ve went behind my back and have been playing with another person and have clearly made a new group chat without me in it to organize when their getting on. Basically I was kicked off the team. I feel betrayed and abandoned. Like fuck at least tell me.
I haven’t really called anyone out but it’s tearing me up inside and I hate that I’m getting this emotional over a fucking video game. I don’t even know what kinda response I wanna hear. I’m kinda just hoping I’m the asshole though.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
9wFbXGZzfy4Z4Res3q8sSFwuPupc2Xnc
|
9ypa7e
|
{
"description": "sending an angry email to my lazy group members",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for sending an angry email to my lazy group members
|
It basically said that I'm pissed at losing about 80 points on the ONE THING I asked them to do. With multiple mentions that this was literally the only thing I asked from them.
I'm worried because there's a small peer review section and now I fear they will mark me with zeroes because of this message.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
j2IaH25ZwTLaW6mnIZuzI76MKOKGFm0u
|
aaht0k
|
{
"description": "asking my roommate not to bring his gf over all the time",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my roommate not to bring his gf over all the time?
|
My housemate and I (both guys) are both in our mid 20s and share a house together. There is a small kitchen/living room and two bedrooms upstairs. Ever since my roommate started dating his GF they are inseparable. They are always at our house and never hang out or sleep at her place. They cook together, eat together and constantly watch movies in the living room. My computer and work area are in the living room as well, and while they say they don't mind me being there, I can't help but feel uncomfortable and annoyed that I can't enjoy playing a game or working in peace. It's to the point where if she's not over at our place, I am actually surprised. Out of the last 30 days, I would bet she's been here 25. Now she doesn't do anything in particular that annoys me too much. She is friendly and tries to talk to me and invite me to hang out, but I don't want to be a third wheel and we don't share anything in common. I want my roommate to be happy and it is a shared house, but I feel like I'm living with two roommates. Also, recently I came home to her old friend from college there hanging with my roommate and her. I'm being very presumptuous, but I can't fathom why she bringing her friend that my roommate doesn't know over instead of her place. I talked to our mutual friends and have received mixed advice, but ultimately I think the consensus is it's not really my place to say anything to my roommate. Am I the asshole if I ask him to stop bringing her over all the time?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ppNdJr47QGdeLO2PPYyfWXIIvN5sYjKG
|
b0kjhx
|
{
"description": "settling for a girl, only to leave her if I find somebody that is more like my preference",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
WIBTA If I settle for a girl, only to leave her if I find somebody that is more like my preference?
|
I have not been in a relationship for over 8 years now. I'm 30 and I don't exactly feel desperate to be in a relationship, although I will admit that it would be nice to have a significant other.
I've been talking to my therapist about my loneliness and various other issues and I told her that my reason for still being single after so many years is because I'm looking for that "special one". I wouldn't exactly call her a soulmate or somebody who will take my breath away. But somebody who is more me. Somebody who has the same kind of introverted personality, and who has the same type of hobbies and interests as me (I'm a very nerdy person). Girls like that can be hard to find which I guess is why I've had so much trouble meeting girls that I'm interested in.
I've told my therapist that while I have no problem going out there and meet new girls it also scares me if the girl isn't exactly the type of girl that I'd want, then later if I do meet that one perfect girl, I will constantly be kicking myself for not waiting until that special one came around. Like I'd hate to have to settle for somebody that isn't ideal to me and then later on I meet somebody who fits all my criteria but at that time I'm no longer single.
Then I'd not only feel annoyed for having settled with somebody who isn't exactly to my liking but I'd also feel like a horrible person to leave my girlfriend for somebody else who may share the same hobbies as me for example.
My therapist however told me that this is just how life is and that there isn't anything wrong with realizing that sometimes somebody you meet is just better for you. The fact that I'm holding off for so many years and never committing to a relationship is going to only hurt me in the long run since there's no guarantee that I will meet that "special one" so it's better to just meet someone and even settle.
What do you guys think? On one hand, I'd feel like an asshole leaving a girlfriend just because I met somebody else at a function whom has all the checkmarks in a partner that I want, but at the same time I can also see the logic in my therapist's advice, that constantly waiting isn't going to do me any good since there's no guarantee that I will ever meet that one girl and I've already wasted 8 years of my life holding off.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
wAwVf95JSBvMlcCwK9V5DmdydkQMHlTd
|
b9vvzh
|
{
"description": "still playing music moderately loud after my neighbor complained about my noise level",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for still playing music moderately loud after my neighbor complained about my noise level?
|
The other day my neighbor complained about me playing music too loud which I totally understand I am a complete asshole for doing that. I REALLY don't want to be THAT neighbor. Still super embarrassed about it. I haven't played music for about a week after he warned me. Today I decided to play have a go at it again. I've turned down the volume wayyy down. I checked the noise level and it goes from 55-60 dB. The problem is my subwoofer is really big and loud. I'm worried just the sound from it is too much. Is playing music at this volume too much? Keep in mind, I'm playing at 12 in the afternoon.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jw39kHTcy54fvAvGZi7gLvtYcqv7sm9m
|
ayuu1r
|
{
"description": "being wary of my girlfriend's lack of romance",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being wary of my (22M) girlfriend’s (18F) lack of romance?
|
I started dating my (18F) girlfriend just before the new year. Things have been excellent. Before I met her I had a tough mental health patch but I have gotten better with her help. Basically, things have been going quite well. We see eachother often, we laugh, we love eachother, and things are good. However, she’s not very affectionate. I’m over the top with affection. I say “I love you” at the end of every phone call, I buy her gifts when I can, I treat her like a queen every day. On the other hand, it took her a couple of months to tell me she loved me, and even though she told me she wouldn’t be as OTT with it as I am, she still hasn’t said it again. I can live with this, as the look on her face when I do something nice for her or when we’re together says more than that. Last weekend I picked her up from a night out, and I expected her to be all drunk and inlove and excited to see me, but she only seemed drunk.
Sometimes she’s not receptive to me being mushy and lovey. She refuses to be “in a relationship” with me on Facebook, or to post any pictures of me and her on either Facebook or Instagram, despite having pictures with her exes on both. She made new social media accounts to get away from people she didn’t speak to and to make new memories with me, but still frequently uses her old accounts. Until recently she mentioned her ex in conversation often. She normally followed them up with “but I’m with you now and I wouldn’t change it”. She’s apprehensive when I talk about our future as well. I AM moving country in summer, But i want things to continue. She says things are still early and we never know how things may end up, even though she wants the same, but the apprehension is something which you don’t expect, especially in the “honeymoon” phase of a relationship.
In the past couple of days we had a few fallouts and arguments over things like her being incredibly dismissive of me being romantic after being receptive when we were together, or her not replying to me late on a night when she’s been active and talking to her friends. I know these things are stupid but I feel like I’m putting my heart on the line and not getting anything in return.
It doesn’t help that she’s SUCH a stress free person, and often won’t entertain my worries about this stuff, and dismisses it as stupid. Deep down I believe she loves me and is happy with me, But sometimes I get paranoid and go moody.
AITA?
TL;DR: My (18F) girlfriend is incredibly not romantic with me (22M), despite me being overly romantic and optimistic about our relationship. It’s causing me to have moods and little arguments with her which isn’t what I want.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
zwqUCjZJhsyCAUCl1nfVXIY8U3aL5bzS
|
azy0x8
|
{
"description": "returning the book that the author herself gave me",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for returning the book that the author herself gave me?
|
Today at my university, 2 people were giving out copies of their books to anyone who was passing by. It was their first project apparently and, me being me, just accepted up a copy.
I've been more conscious of the paper I've been wasting and also of the many books that I've bought but haven't read. So I thought I should save myself some guilt as I was 100% sure I wasn't going to read their novel (I haven't read one in 15 years).
So I returned to the author and told her "I'm sorry I'm gonna be honest, I dont read novels and i would hate to waste a copy. I think you should have it back."
She had the most sad face I've ever seen a stranger have and just said "....okay....".
I thought I did the right thing but given her reaction, I feel like shit. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
RIGHT
|
bptvKhXuyaTKDgVg4i0ewVQjbAqZRJy0
|
adbe2y
|
{
"description": "being angry with my brother for planning a trip the same weekend as mine",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being angry with my brother for planning a trip the same weekend as mine?
|
So months ago me and my buddies planed a trip for our winter break . I was really excited to go since during the semester I stick to the books and really don’t go out much . I told my brother months ago about this trip and that he needs to cover for me at our family store since one of us has to be around to help our father. He said no problem. ( We have had trouble with customers in the past so we always make sure one of us is around if anything happens)
Fast forward to this past Thursday he tell me that his going on a trip with his wife this weekend to visit her parents since they are leaving on a two month trip. I tell him he can’t go since I’m leaving this weekend for my trip. We get into a argument and he acts as if all of this was it of his control. I ask him why couldn’t he go the previous weekends his excuse was it fell on holidays. Which I found to be a bullshit excuse since he knew of my trip and could have planned accordingly So I end up not going on the trip since someone always has to be around for the store.
So later I ask him to repay me the money I spent for the trip (tickets and hotel) but he decided it’s not his fault and that I should get it from my friends. This just pisses me off even more and I tell him to fuck off at this point and find his own ride to the airport. He almost missed his flight since I canceled on him. My brother ends up telling our parents, which results in my parent yelling at me saying the it’s my fault and I shouldn’t be mad at my brothers.
So I decided to ask you guys am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
fnjJLQcc2rGUtO0dXTnOyqpiunyE09wb
|
ardprt
|
{
"description": "evading being in the army",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for evading being in the army?
|
In my country, conscription to the millitary is mandatory for all 18 year old men and women who're deemed fit, mentally and physically wise (and fit another couple of criteria). I have diagnosed depression, so naturally, they've let me go. I exaggerated the condition because I don't want to serve. Yesterday a kid in my class has asked me what my results for some army intelligence tests we all do, and I said I'm not getting conscripted. Mind you, people who don't conscript tend to get looked down upon and berated, so I expect some type of negative reaction. I told him I had health issues preventing me from doing so. He said I was a liar, a moocher, an ungreateful cunt, and that I am exaggerating or faking a condition to not be in the army (true, to an extent)- or to sum it up, an asshole. Am I an asshole for evading conscription? );
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 26,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
0vJcUhUVi2bRxRc5PpLFDkCq7YZ5scqZ
|
b9v0vc
| null |
AITA:friend sold me a Nintendo Wii with broken game.
|
He returned the money for the game and I threw it away. I was short on money for another game so I took it out of the trash and soaked it in alcohol and got trade in credit at GameStop. I know I'm an asshole for trading it in scratched. But am I the asshole because my friend wanted it back to do the same? P.s. he didn't mention he wanted it back after 2 days...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
wgejwLOlaPdtg5YXWgoax0FFomCDEL6E
|
b2kd1x
|
{
"description": "ghosting my friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ghosting my friend?
|
This all started a few years ago, when I moved to a new city and made friends with Debbie. Debbie had a "everyone who loves me, leaves" narrative, and eventually confided that she had a personality disorder. We became very close very fast, and while most of our hangouts included getting very drunk, we always had a good time. We had a lot of talks about our mental health and bonded over our histories of depression and anxiety.
​
Eventually things started souring. Debbie drank A LOT, and daily, and signaled some concerning behavior- showing up to events blackout drunk, passing out on bathroom floors at bars, etc. I then noticed that whenever I called it an early night (which really wasn't often) she always had something very concerning happen the next day, beginning with her informing me she did hard drugs with a homeless man she met on her way home, and eventually that she passed out on the street for hours on a night when I had offered to take her home. I tried to support her through it all and even suggested that we hang out without involving alcohol, but it ultimately got worse when she began dating someone emotionally toxic, and possibly abusive. I tried to support her decision in different ways, from encouraging the relationship (before she told me all the awful things he was doing- she admitted she hid it from me), to voicing my concern for her safety/well-being, to telling her to simply not talk about him in front of me if she was to continue dating him. They had a very off/on relationship and she regularly admitted to lying to me about them getting back together.
​
I got to the point where I simply couldn't watch her make these very toxic decisions, especially when she played them off with "I'm so stupid for doing this lololol." She also told me that her therapist thought I was a bad friend for her, although Debbie thought that was funny. Combined with the fact I was miserable when I actually hung out with her, I decided I couldn't be her friend any more. And so, I followed through on our last few plans together and then slowly stopped responding to her texts and attempts to hang out.
​
I've gone back and forth between feeling guilty and justified for ghosting- mostly because I realize if I explained to her why I no longer wanted to be her friend it would be "because I can't watch you self-destruct and our friendship has become toxic"- which is exactly what she told me her worst fears were, as people had previously stopped associating with her for those reasons or her personality disorder. I don't see how a productive conversation about this could happen, but I also know it must've been very painful for her that I simply disappeared.
​
So, AITA for ghosting her?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
nvg9OJkeg1mzNppT4PMLWnJ8ipMxFsMv
|
b2384f
|
{
"description": "ending a friendship after said friend posted pictures of my apartment online",
"pronormative_score": 106,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for ending a friendship after said friend posted pictures of my apartment online?
|
I’ve been dealing with some serious depression and my place is a mess- dishes piled up, food rotting, the works. It was legitimately disgusting, and I’m ashamed to admit how bad it was.
After admitting how bad the situation was to two of my oldest friends (one friend of 10 years, another friend of 12), they volunteered to help me clean. Even that was stressful, but they both insisted, so I said okay.
we got a lot done, but about a week later, another friend sent me screenshots of a post that the friend of 12 years had posted in a Facebook group- pictures of my apartment, with a ton of jokes about how gross it was. I blocked that friend on Facebook and have now been refusing his calls.
Some of my other friends are now telling me that I’m over reacting and he can post whatever he wants because he helped clean. I don’t think that’s right, because he knew how upset I was about even having the two of them come over and see.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 106,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 106,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
FM7RnOQO09kQdow7fJLMOISCBbAyMjW4
|
b52v4u
| null |
AITA- Girlfriend's child died...
|
My gf [30F] and I [26M] recently went through an extremely difficult time a few months ago. Jan 2019, her 7 year old son passed away (epilepsy). She also has her daughter (10) and I have my son (5).
We have been dating for nearly 2 years now, and have an extremely healthy relationship. Amazing communication, trust, and intimacy. We plan on moving in together the summer of 2019, just a few months away. Considering it's me, her, and our 2 kids, I plan on getting us a 3 bedroom house. Here is where the issue comes in:
She suggests that we get a 4 bedroom or 5 bedroom (4th bedroom would need to be for my office, as I work from home). She wants the extra bedroom to put together her son's room exactly the way it is at her house now (she hasn't touched it since the day he passed, understandably so.) I informed her that buying a larger house is going to really be stretching our budget, and we may not be able to make it happen.
Please note that at this point, I have not exactly expressed to her that I don't want to use up a room on a replica of her son's room. It's space that we would actually need to use (God I feel terrible even saying that.)
At one point, she even suggested that if we get a 3 bedroom house, that she would put her son's stuff (bed, dresser, clothes, etc.) in MY son's room. I just don't think that's fair to my son to have to go through that.
I love her very much, and plan on proposing later this year. Our kids love each other and we are an extremely happy [blended] family. Obviously there's no way she can be the asshole in this situation, considering she's just grieving from the tragic loss of her son, but I honestly feel like I'm not being exactly an asshole either..
With that being said.. Am I The Asshole for not wanting to use up, or spend extra money on a significantly bigger house, for her son's furniture?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 93,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 111,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
u28zah5AsTXUlwydXdJA3pmU0DRw2UXq
|
ba20fv
|
{
"description": "shutting my pregnant friend out during my miscarriage",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for shutting my pregnant friend out during my miscarriage?
|
I found via text that my friend F wanted to end our 18 year friendship. It completely blindsided me. I made F talk to me on the phone the next day and found out she had been harbouring resentment on me for the last 1.5 yrs. She said that what caused it all was when I didn’t visit her at the hospital when she gave birth to her daughter.
Two months prior to her giving birth (April), I had a miscarriage (Feb). It put me in a severe depression and maybe this was my fault but I didn’t know how to deal with it except socially isolate myself from friends, especially those pregnant or with kids, until I felt more emotionally stable. One week before my friend’s due date, I threw her an impromptu baby shower and spent a lot of money on it, buying her dinner at a fancy restaurant and buying baby stuff. By the end of the shower, I went back into a depressed state - the talk about babies and motherhood really reminded me of what I couldn’t have and it just messed me up. I didn’t make a scene at the shower but didn’t say anything to my friend. I decided that I would just hide for a while. My husband decided we should get away and we decided to go to Hawaii because we had the next week off. Without thinking about my friend or anyone else but my husband and I, we went and it helped us. While I was in Hawaii, my friend texted me the news about her birth and I congratulated her. We talked on the phone one time after she was out of the hospital, but I didn’t visit her for the next three months. It partly because I was anxious about it, but I also got pregnant shortly afterwards the trip. Having gone through the miscarriage, I ended up focusing my energy on trying to concentrate on my new pregnancy and seeing if I could make it through the first trimester.
With that said, I didn’t think about seeing my friend or her baby for 3 months until I felt more secure about myself. I figured she was busy anyways. After our first meeting in a a while, we started spending time together and when my daughter was born, we started seeing each other more, maybe 1x a month, which I thought was fine.
With that said, we carried on as if everything was normal and I didn’t know she resented me that entire time. She says that a real friend wouldn’t have gone to Hawaii and that I should’ve been at the hospital (she had some complications and believes she could’ve died from the birth). She also feels we are not close because I should’ve let her help me solve my depression with the miscarriage. I mean, I did tell her about it when it happened and I don’t recall her knocking at my door or calling me, but for me, that was fine. I had no expectations. My thought at the time was, why would I involve a pregnant person in dealing with my miscarriage issues? I felt it was an issue for my husband and I to deal with alone.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XKQlpihy7E2R6wrRCsZn8xeLJkCkdHVn
|
arhnd6
| null |
AITA - I told my best friend that they might have BPD and after showing symptoms they agreed, they told their therapist, and their therapist doesn't want us to be friends anymore.
|
Throwaway for reasons that might be apparent later on, and some family knows my main.
​
So a little background, me and my best friend have known each other for about 4 years now and we met and primarily know each other online as we live on opposite sides of the US. We bonded at the time over playing a couple mutual games and through knowing a few mutual friends as well and didn't become best friends until \~1 year ago, when we started to bond over our common depression and whatnot, and we are pretty open about our episodes, possibly a bit too open. They've also been in therapy (I don't know for how long) for it.
​
So about a month or two ago, we were talking about a few things, I don't really remember what about, but one of the things was how we act and personalities/ depression stuff, the usual. I started venting and I talked about how I thought I might've had BPD (still not sure) as many of the regular criteria for BPD I thought I met when I looked it up, although, with the internet, well, being the internet, I wasn't completely sure. I started thinking for a few minutes about their personality and what they show me and what they talk about and I also started matching it up to the symptoms of BPD as well and found similar matching to the criteria as well, I don't know if it was like 90% of them, but it was certainly enough to bring it up. They asked to see the criteria and she herself said "Yeah I actually think that fits me pretty well too." And then conversation ends shortly there-after. And I thought we were done with that, with some new things learned here and there
​
Then, somewhat recently, like within the past week or so, they told me about how they had a therapist appointment between that conversation and then, and as the title says, my friend told me "I told my therapist about how you said I might have BPD, and they said we shouldn't be friends anymore and that I shouldn't have people like you in my life". She disagreed with her therapist and said that I was just trying to be helpful and I agreed at the time. Also, since I feel like someone might ask, I don't know if she's talked with her therapist other times, and if she has, what they talked about other than this.
​
However, I still can't help but feel at least a little guilty and was unsure whether the therapist might've been in the right and if I was in the wrong here.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
OlzcL79ttpJQdOEYVcLkgFezHGgPx5cs
|
b64a57
|
{
"description": "asking my father not to tell people about my autism",
"pronormative_score": 38,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my father not to tell people about my autism?
|
Throw away because some people I know in real life know about my real reddit account.
​
When I was 16 I got diagnosed with PDD-NOS (a form of autism). If I say so myself (and what I hear from many others as well), you usually don't really notice that I have a form of autism aside from some social difficulties, which is why it went unnoticed for majority of my life. I'm 20 now.
​
Now the problem is, ever since my diagnose my father finds the need to tell everyone he knows or meet about my autism. And I mean literally \*everyone\*. Even people I don't even know or know who I am. Even when the conversation has nothing to do with autism in the slightest he still finds a way to tell people about it. Now let me get this clear, I'm not ashamed of having what I have and I usually do tell people about it after I've known them for a while. It's just that in this society there's such a negative stigma on having autism and a lot of people don't understand it. I just want people to know me for who I am instead of knowing me for my disability.
​
So last time I told him that I'd rather not have him telling other people about it. My problems are mine and mine alone and I don't want him to use it as a subject of conversation without my permission. Especially not with people who are complete strangers to me. But upon telling him he got super offended and said that as his daughter, he should be able to talk about my problems however he wants and I shouldn't make such a big deal out of it. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 36,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 38,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
nEF2RELusW44newICwdTDEomVX05Trfz
|
b52v6l
|
{
"description": "taking action against my neighbor and his dog",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking action against my neighbor and his dog?
|
So this has been going on for a while now, but I finally want to share it.
For months now, my neighbor has been walking his dog WITHOUT a leash throughout the neighborhood, which is not allowed.
We have some family in our neighborhood, so when we had Thanksgiving we also invited our neighbors, just to be kind.
Our neighbor arrives WITH his dog, which charges up the stairs and charges at people. We tell him to get his dog under control and that we invited him and not his dog. He leaves. I'm walking outside a week later at night, and he is with his dog again. It charges up to me and I say 'Dude, get your dog under control, and put him on a leash for God's sake'
He then says that he's a member of the HOA (he is) and says 'who's going to turn me in?', and then he says this: 'isn't your lease up for renewal?' And that was the last straw.
We got (mostly) everyone to report his ass to the HOA.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
r1k7EWiXuoCewDlYyHejYRIQzOmiJORU
|
an2oe9
|
{
"description": "picking up a girl that my friend refused to go for",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA for picking up a girl that my friend refused to go for?
|
Very classic setting. We're in the library studying for our exam and we see two very cute looking girls at the copier, giggling away and making us smile in the distance. He told me "You see those two at the copier?" I literally answered "Say no more fam. I had the same thought." And he had his eye on the girl with a yellow headband.
That was the same I wanted to talk to and I told him "Yeah I would've gone for her too, but you shoot your shot man I'll leave her up to you." I have a little more confidence and experience just talking to strangers in general while he doesn't. I told him he should just go for it, walk up to her as it is the hardest part, and then just stand your ground and say whatever come to mind first.
He kept hyping himself up and I helped hype him up too, but he wouldn't move no matter what. I hated that in that moment, he was all talk and no walk. I got kind of irritated by him not going for what he wants to go for simply because he has sweaty palms. Told him it'd be worse if he let this go than if he got rejected. Well, he didn't learn and so I said "If you don't go for her, I will."
Well, half a minute like this goes by and the girls were done copying there stuff and were about to leave, I went up to her and got her number. Came back to my friend and he was just pissed. For some reason he went off about how I was on a power trip, and "I get you can do this better than me" and "is this funny to you? Pretty asshole thing to do man"
​
I'm baffled. He didn't go for it no matter what, I encouraged him and he didn't move. Was it really an asshole thing of me to do? Personally I don't think so.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 25,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
RIGHT
|
i1rcbzHJPvZofvUX62QyVHQtXy155rqZ
|
b1i8rd
|
{
"description": "thinking my girlfriend is using sex as a power play",
"pronormative_score": 64,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for thinking my girlfriend is using sex as a power play?
|
So I earlier today I was trying to make plans with my girlfriend for later tonight. She asked me if we could not have sex tonight since we do it pretty much every time we hang out and she just wants so time to chill and do other things. I told her no problem as I know we do it often so it doesn't really make a difference. We continue the conversation trying to figure out exactly what we want to do on this boring Friday night.
​
We decided what we would make for dinner (I was gonna cook some pasta) and start trying to figure out how to spend the evening. I suggest she bring over one of her game systems and we could just hang out and play some video games. (I have 2 TVs so we would be able to do more than one game at a time) She tells me she wants to do something together instead of playing video games next to each other. I told her I really wanted to play some video games since I haven't be able to in a while (Midterms) and I finally have a chance to. At the end of the day it doesn't really matter to me as long as I get to spend time with her.
​
She then tells me that we can have sex tonight if I don't play any video games. Obviously I told her of course I choose that option. I said that it is fine I can just play before she comes over (There is like a 2 hour gap in between when I get home and when she was planning to come over) She then clarifies and says that in order for us to have sex tonight, I can't play at all today. I try clarifying as well by telling her that if would be in the time before i see her and not during. She says its fine we don't need to have sex and we can do something else instead.
​
So now I get pretty upset and I tell her WTF why is she trying to hold sex over my head. I reason that it makes literally no difference if I play games before we hang out. I agreed not to play anything DURING our evening but there is absolutely no reason I should be prohibited to enjoy myself before we hang out. I told her that its pretty fucked up to use sex as a power play just to see if she can get me to bend over for her.
​
She says that she doesn't see it that way and that it was just an offer. She says I have every right to decline and we would just go back to the original plan of not messing around tonight. My reasoning is that an offer would have a benefited outcome on both sides. (For example no video games while we hang out = sex) but this situation has no benefit for her by me not playing games before we hang out. I said that this makes it a power play and I am not okay with that.
​
She doesn't see this and is just telling me it is a difference of opinion. Now we aren't speaking and as of now NOTHING is happening tonight at all. So AITA here? Am I missing something and looking at this from the wrong perspective?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 63,
"EVERYBODY": 9,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 64,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
RIGHT
|
2eYNbYdtAsraQ5Wx57WYloepDB4ACu87
|
a0qioj
|
{
"description": "insisting my girlfriend not drive illegally",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for insisting my girlfriend not drive illegally?
|
TL;DR at the bottom.
For context: My girlfriend and I live in a southern state known for racial profiling in traffic citations. She is black, and owns a luxury brand used car. This is important later.
​
My girlfriend currently does not have her driver's license. She also doesn't have a valid permit. This is largely no fault of her own---she didn't have a car as a teen, or the financial ability growing up to pay for car insurance, payments, etc. This has been a source of extreme frustration for her---anything pertaining to getting her license, driving, or getting a car causes upset. However---recently, she got her first car and has been ecstatic about finally having a way of getting around. Now, all she has to do is get her driver's license and she's good to go.
​
Typically, I am her main source of transportation and would drive her wherever she needed. We more or less shared my car, but only I would drive it. Now, normally this isn't an issue at all, but unfortunately my car broke down and I haven't been able to drive. We live apart, and her car is currently with her at her apartment, meaning if I had to drive her somewhere, I wouldn't be able to without finding a ride to her.
​
Recently, she needed to get to a store to go shopping for an event that was planned as part of her job. The event was later that evening, and she had a window of a couple hours to get there and back during what was essentially rush hour evening traffic. She insisted that it would be fine if she drove the ten miles or so to the store by herself, and that driving without her license wouldn't be a huge deal. The road to get to these stores is a main thoroughfare that is traffic-heavy, has a higher speed limit than the city, is wreck-prone, and is generally more heavily policed. Because she's black and would be driving a luxury used car, it's possible that she's more likely to be pulled over on that stretch of road. I tell her I think it's a bad idea for those reasons, and that she should wait or find another way of getting there if at all possible.
​
In the state where we live, if she were to be pulled over and cited for driving without a license, they could slap her with jail time even as a first offence, on top of fines. It would also make it much, MUCH more difficult for her to get her license properly in the future. I understand that she feels trapped without her ability to drive herself places, but we're working towards getting her her license as soon as it's possible to do so. So...am I the asshole for insisting that she not drive without her license?
​
\*\*TL;DR:\*\* Girlfriend doesn't have her license yet and insists on driving herself places anyway, with no regard for potential legal consequences if she's pulled over or worse. Am I the asshole for telling her that she shouldn't be driving until she gets her license?
​
​
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ToCZ3EnYmsIVH93JP8FQYXFr1zVuU7V4
|
b5xnkg
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend for having a lower sex drive",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I broke up with my girlfriend for having a lower sex drive?
|
I know this title sounds pretty bad but hear me out. We're both 19.
I have a pretty high sex drive and I'm up for sex pretty much anytime of the day (obviously there are some times I don't feel it).
It seemed like my girlfriend was pretty similar at the start of the relationship, but now (7 months later), her sex drive is a whole lot lower. I understand that it's not like she can change it or anything, but it's frustrating for me when we go 3-4 days without having sex and she seems okay with it, but I'm itching to do it. The constant rejection is also super frustrating and I basically resort to masturbating when she leaves. She's aware of the 'problem' but like I said she can't change much and I'm obviously not going to force her to do it if she doesn't want.
I feel like we're pretty incompatible in this sense and it's getting to a point where I honestly can't deal with it. Is this an asshole-ish reason to break up with someone though?
​
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ftnh4oXrbyBzKPPmo3e9bgFsAlUn0zut
|
asykbt
|
{
"description": "telling a girl I didn't share feelings for her after she (apparently) jokingly said she loved me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a girl I didn't share feelings for her after she (apparently) jokingly said she loved me?
|
Ok, so out of the blue today I got some weird texts from a girl I was friends with through middle school before she moved at the start of high school. I am a senior now so it's been about 3 years since I've seen her. She is still good friends with one of my good friends and took her phone today to text me that she loved me. I was so caught off guard I didn't know what to do, and I didn't even know it was her at first, but in the ensuing texts something tipped me off it was her (shall be referred to when needed to by K).
So after I didn't really say much to her she claims I rejected her (even though I hadn't actually said anything about the "I love you" text), and when I asked what I was supposed to do, she said I was supposed to be happy because she thought we were friends. So I told her yes, we're still friends, but I don't share feelings for her. Only after this does my friend whose phone she stole say that K was just trying to reconnect and used "I love you" as an icebreaker joke.
But then K starts acting hurt that I rejected her even though she said it was a joke, asking me whether it was because she was ugly, or her personality was bad, and I didn't know what to say. It ended with her saying she wouldn't be able to see me any more and then saying THAT was a joke too.
I feel so guilty now and I have no idea what I should have done or even what happened.
But is my guilt warranted? Was I an asshole?
P.S. I can post the texts if need by but not in a good place to do so right now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
FcMu0EmQzRpD7Y4XC6i5X5tE39Z7debb
|
b6tizr
|
{
"description": "cutting Ties with this individual",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Cutting Ties With This Individual?
|
So, back in 2016 I met an internet friend in a Facebook group I adminned. This internet friend has always been sort of sketchy and has refused to show me his face or send a recording of his voice (he says this is because his English skills are poor, he lives in an Eastern European country). Anyway, despite this I have still remained friends with him. When I first met this friend, he told me he was gay abd breifly had an obsession with me. I told him I was not interested in men and he seemed to tone it down, although he would still get jealous when I posted pictured online with my girlfriend. More recently (this past year), he has been tuning up the sketchy levels by repeatedly asking for me to give him my address so he can “send me art” (he always draws art and is quite good at it, he likes to draw cartoon/comic characters and he always draws me and him as cartoon characters hanging out and stuff). He also always tells me about his homelife and how shitty it is and how his parents are abusive and how I’m his only friend and etc. Anyway, I refused to give him much address because I didn’t feel comfortable giving it away, and so he accepted this and stopped bugging me. However, like a week later, he sent me my fucking neighbor’s address and said “is this ur address :3? I want to send you a birthday gift” and I questioned him on how he found that address, to which he responded that he just googled my name and that address came up listed as mine. After this I decided to cut ties with him. I’ve blocked him on all social media. He’s tried messaging me on multiple platforms to apologize and say that he didn’t mean to be creepy. It’s also worth noting that this friend has horrible social skills (even for the internet) and I often question if he’s autistic or lying about his age or something similar. He claims he’s 2 years younger than me but I often think he’s much younger than that. Am I the asshole? Sorry for the terrible jumbled post, my brain is fried.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
KXWyRYEJPjE0qrVSeNoCiEhVLF45GBg2
|
anx01i
|
{
"description": "asking artists/preformers to sign material that isnt theirs",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA - For asking artists/preformers to sign material that isnt theirs
|
I Have the Willam Belli book, I had originally got the book just for her to sign at a meet and greet with 6 queens from Rupauls drag race. I had intendent buying merch at the event but the merch table was never put put. So I asked the queens there to sign my Willam book
They all did it and were reaaly nice about it O even got to meet Sharon Needles later on the year and asked to sign the book as I missed her the first meet and great. She was lovely about.
I then got the idea that I want to get a few signatures from Drage Race stars and I did bring it to Mizz Cracker who was also happy to sign
I am aware being nice about something doesnt mean they approve signing another persons stuff and they just don't want to come across rude
Im meeting two more over the next few months and want to know would that make me an asshole and ending up that bitch with them ?
I would never get annoyed it they said no
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
vqIFv77nUagNd4zbZDb5SKWduJ3NFOte
|
a0o1d9
|
{
"description": "getting upset that my husband did not celebrate my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for getting upset that my husband did not celebrate my birthday?
|
It was my birthday a while back, my husband was on work trip. He messaged me a sweet birthday wish at 12 am on my birthday. Just to be clear on his birthday I hand picked many items I knew he'd love, and wrapped everything in a very cute way for him. Every birthday I do something nice/thoughtful for him. I put a lot of effort so he can feel special.
Anyway, then after coming back from the trip 2 weeks later, he kept asking me what I woukd like to receive as a gift. I said I don't know. We went out to the store once and he tried to get me the latest iphone, I told him I don't want a phone my current phone is still new. He said okay.. then a week passed and he did nothing, two weeks.. nothing not even flowers, a month.. nothing. By the way he is not busy, he is a on a month vacation.
I started feeling sad that he put no effort into my birthday even though he knows it is important to me (I explained to him the previous years that feeling special/appreciated on my birthday is important, he already knows that).
I got frustrated so I told him I feel unimportant and unappreciated, he felt really sad , I knew he felt truly guilty and he apologised. The way he apologised I felt he knew he had to make it up... but guess what, the next few weeks he still did nothing!
I tried to ignore the fact he put zero effort into my birthday but I could not. I feel like I'm not at the top of his list of priorities by that, I see him lazing around doing nothing but watch tv and cannot help but wonder why won't he dedicate at least a couple minutes for me to to at least send me flowers.
At the same time I can't helpt but feel bratty. Like I'm upset I'm not getting something that is actually a privilege not a right.
Btw he is a very loving husband, he treats me so well except for this birthday thing.
Am I the asshole here, or are my feelings of being upset validated?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
5KTiOwnU4lZ7j9orMWf8lQkZzEN4Z63Y
|
b1vi5s
|
{
"description": "not being attracted to my girlfriend anymore",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not being attracted to my girlfriend anymore?
|
We got together when we were 20 but soon turned to long distance relationship. I was a small guy to begin and she was bigger than me but we never minded then. Four years passed and she gained 20 kgs to become around 85kgs with 152cms and I gained 10 to around 66kg with 173cms. She also became quite sick in this time with diabetes and arthritis which made it harder for her to exercise and lose weight. I still do love her and don't wanna make her feel conscious about her weight. But it's just that I don't feel attracted towards her anymore. We do have sex when we meet and sometimes I feel a bit suffocated but we do love each other and make each other feel good. I love her company and she understands me very well. But in my heart I also feel the urge to be with someone fitter and sexier and that makes me guilty for even about thinking about leaving her in bad times. I think I'll probably just decide to keep her happier this way. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
5XHO5G09fc4Gudx7pewMKzIgnOoQHQBC
|
b1tyu0
| null |
AITA
|
So in 6th grade our combined classroom (two connected classrooms) had a "2 days until school is over" day. Basically we spent the whole day outside and played activities like dodgeball and an obstacle course. Both classrooms would compete for the better overall score.
About one third of the way through the day, I noticed two kids raising something to their arms and that their arms were bleeding.
At first I thought they had been hurt accidentally and were holding their arms in pain. Then I realized they were using broken glass the found from somewhere and were cutting themselves with it. Normally I don't tell on people because I don't want to be the annoying tattle tail kid. But this was an exception.
I told them if they didn't stop I would tell the teacher. They didn't so I told the teacher and they were sent to the office and I didn't see them for the rest of today and tomorrow. The next school year I realized one if the kids had gotten expelled, while the other hadn't. AITA for reporting them?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2ijbqwTQ4z0EfCxS0rGF6GqMoNqr0Hdw
|
a9eyej
|
{
"description": "lying to my bf and letting him believe his ex cheated on him",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 48
}
|
AITA for lying to my bf and letting him believe his ex cheated on him?
|
I know this sounds really bad but just hear me out. it's been eating me up inside so I'd like some feedback.
We're currently college seniors and we started dating only 4 months ago. For his first two years he was dating another girl that I somewhat knew since we're in the same sorority but I wasn't close to. I had a crush on him since basically freshman year but I knew he was dating this girl.
Anyways they ultimately broke up because he suspected she was cheating due to rumors about a party where she reportedly danced and kissed some guy. I was also there but I don't remember seeing her since it was a huge venue that was hosted by our sorority and we didn't really have overlapping friends circles.
So when we started dating he was obviously still really torn up about his ex and questioning their break-up. It really stung to see him still so torn up about it, since all I wanted for us was a new start and for him to forget his ex completely. So when he asked me if I had seen his ex at that party, I don't know why but I lied and said that I had seen her with other guys. That really sealed it for him and I think he's moved on a lot faster. He says it's a no-brainer that they broke up because she cheated and now he knows for sure. He says he feels a lot better knowing that he didn't dump her for no reason.
I know there's nothing to gain by telling the truth now. He's so much happier than before and he has no regrets about his exgf anymore. So, am I the asshole for lying and keeping up with the lie?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 48,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 48
}
|
WRONG
|
gdMuESVL5uO7bdnCpS16fcn7aDFyALuX
|
addpo0
|
{
"description": "Yelling at my roommates for being Loud",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for Yelling at My Roommates for Being Loud
|
Context.
I live with 5 other people in a two story house.
So recently the social area has moved to the upstairs living room for whatever reason and I typically go to bed before everyone else. The issue however is that everyone now congregates right outside my room and are usually laughing and screaming until the odd hours of the night. (Past 3AM)
Previously it wasn't an issue because it was downstairs where there are no bedrooms but as of late I've been woken up or kept up because they can't control the noise level.
That's fine whatever. But if the noise level gets too loud I let them know I'm going to bed or just bear with it. This happens several times and they usually forget I've told them and get loud again.
So I get back from the winter break and try to fix my atrocious sleep schedule and fall asleep until I'm woken up by some very loud roommates. I ask them to move the socializing downstairs because they're loud through group chat but they don't see it because they're too busy hanging out or whatever. At this point I'm frustrated because it seems like they don't bother to be considerate of others and it's already 3AM and I've been woken up.
I come out of my room and tell them "to shut the f**k up and that they're loud af" and slam my door. Things quiet down but then I get a very passive aggressive message in group chat saying that I need to tell them when I'm going to go to sleep so they can keep it down and that I don't need to be so confrontational.
That's great and all except 1) I was already asleep and 2) that didn't work the last couple of times I've tried it. I get that I didn't handle things very well but I don't necessarily feel like I'm entirely at fault for being upset. I also feel like it's rather unreasonable to ask me to let them know that I'm going to sleep every time when before it's fallen on deaf ears.
I can see there are points where I could have handled this better but idk what do you guys think?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WWCwXz4h0IKYFRYd4W1CcBSMWXlZKIrC
|
ap24k0
|
{
"description": "not wanting my grandmother's truck",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my grandmother’s truck?
|
Unfortunately my year has been off to a rough start, my grandmother that I was very near and dear to passed away suddenly. My mother (an only child) was especially hurt by this but gets better by the day. We’re slowly going through her assets and what not and one of those is her truck. It’s a 2006 model truck but she tried to keep up with it as best as she could. My mother wants to give it to me. I don’t want it though, I already have a car myself (2005 model that’s been paid off this past year) and I’m struggling as is with the upkeep and all that but do to credit issues I can’t trade it out just yet. I don’t want the truck cause it’ll cost me more in gas money and also it’s needs the same if not more maintenance then my current vehicle. I know my mom wants to me have it because it’s one of the few things of her mother’s that’s still here. I rather her sell the truck and pocket the money for herself then to create another financial burden.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
p6nbCLeof48pPdXN1fewT4yFKYjEGNsh
|
9v5vbf
|
{
"description": "calling out my friend for taking someone's gas",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling out my friend for taking someone’s gas.
|
I have a friend who said she pulled up to a gas pump was prepaid enough to fill her empty tanks. She began thanking the lord on social media for her blessing explaining how he knew she was struggling and bestowed a gift to her etc etc. I pointed out that she stole someone else’s gas and maybe that person themselves are struggling and it’s now worse. In my opinion she should have just told the gas attendant the gas was paid for instead of taking something that’s not hers. I got instant hate for it and my girlfriend said she didn’t even consider what my friend did as “stealing” because she never saw the person pre-pay and just got free gas by luck. AITA for calling her out on it and considering it a dick move to take someone else’s gas?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
hU2GXLGFJZvTBxOtwuI17N0fzDttxohR
|
aqtdo7
|
{
"description": "not forgiving my dad for his abuse",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not forgiving my dad for his abuse?
|
So to give some context about the situation. My dad and I are not on speaking terms for a variety of reasons. The most important one being, that through out middle school he physically abused me.
It started around the time I was going into middle school. He started getting into meth and drinking alcohol more. When he's drunk, he is very intimidating and has extreme disregard for others around him. I remember once that I went downstairs to ask if I could spend the night at my friends house. His gf at the time (who he also abused frequently) tells me and my friend that he's been drinking heavily and just passed out. Me being young and not knowing what was about to happen, woke him up. As he got up he fucking hit the wall and broke it. I was scared shitless since this has never happened before. I turn to run, and as I was going up the stairs, I turn around and see my friend get hit into the fridge that was down there. When that happened I rushed down there to help my friend, right as my dad turns to me and kicks me in my chest. I lost air in my lungs and I was completely scared. Well long story short me and my friend run to his house and called the police.
When they arrived they talked to us separately. I told my side of what had happened, after they went to my house to talk to my dad. I was under the impression that they were going to arrest him. They didn't. My friend has bruises on his face, and I had a big one on my chest. They didn't do anything but tell me to call them if another incident like this happened again.
This was the first of the numerous times I would have called them. I ask AITA because my grandma who I am living with guilt trips me into forgiving him. I tell her over and over again I will never forgive my dad for the things he's done. Hell he's also been violent with her on multiple occasions. I love my grandma to death, but I hate it when she pulls that shit with me.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.