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6RPIcsXXF7WCIJsWRsN9tg5g4DTb6NIu
|
agdkvu
|
{
"description": "taking about a week off relationship to catch up on my degree",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for taking about a week off relationship to catch up on my degree
|
I'm studying in England, me and my girlfriend live overseas, but not too far, we visit regularly.
I came home for Christmas and didn't do any work there, I made the most of the time seeing everyone, and my girlfriend in particular got a lot of attention.
I get back to uni, the work hasn't gone away, so I tell her that I won't be able to call(we end up spending hours) and won't be online much to talk. Because I have an essay to write in 4 days, along with a test on the same day, and another test the next Tuesday that could fail my whole year.
Long story short, I had the test today (was a rough one but I think I passed well). She is mad at me for putting 'no effort in', even though I am exhausted now. I've told her that her point of view is selfish and ungrateful that one week is such a problem for me to catch up on my degree, when we just had a month together.
I didn't go rogue, just brief messages here and there.
She says I've become a really nasty person, and though I feel I'm in the right here, because my work will always take priority, does she have any reason to be mad at me.
Am I the asshole for not dividing up my time, or is it acceptable to take a week off and focus as I did?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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b9fx5d
|
{
"description": "wanting to sit alone",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to sit alone?
|
So this literally just happened, my class is coming back from a field trip, and we got on the bus. My GF(we’re in 7th grade) comes by and says “there’s no more seats, I’m sitting here.” At first I’m like ok, I like to sit alone, but I had no choice here. But as she sits down I see a empty seat in the bus. So I say “Let me go sit there.” And she just sits there. I keep asking her to move, it’s nothing against her, it’s just that I’m a heavy claustrophobic person, and I like my space. So I keep asking and she just sits there. She seemed a little annoyed, which I am sorry for, but small spaces make me go crazy, the seat is empty, and she won’t move. Now the bus is moving, and we’re still sitting together.
AITA for wanting to sit alone?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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9vvskq
|
{
"description": "not wanting to talk to my mother after what she did",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to talk to my mother after what she did?
|
Hi reddit!
​
About a year ago I managed to sell a project of mine to a company, for a somewhat large amount of money (about 30k USD). My mother asked me if I could give her 3k of that to pay some debt she had gathered from back when her and my father had a fast food place. I accepted and gave her the money.
​
Some months later she asked again to borrow 2.5k as an advance to pay 3 months rent on a new restaurant she said they wanted to rent to start a new catering business. She said she would give this back to me once the restaurant would be set up and running for a couple of months. This ended up never happening. She said she would get the money back but she never did. Since then my parents, along with my little brother have moved to another country. Now she says she will only be able to get it back when she comes back from abroad.
​
Fast forward to a couple of months ago and one night my father calls me to tell me that my mother had cheated on him with one of her friends. My aunt then told me, at a later date, that my mom gave a lot of money to said friend to fuel his gambling addiction (which I suspect was a big portion of the 3k I initially gave her and probably all of the 2.5k I gave her later).
​
Fast forward to now, the situation has since been amended and my parent decided to remain together. Now, my mother talks to me as if nothing has happened and I just can't stand it. I don't want to talk to her anymore and I avoid most of her calls and I plan on telling her how I really feel. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 23,
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
vjOGhIuO4SAR39GEwBe6VuyBfnUkle31
|
ay4gyb
|
{
"description": "yelling at a girl who showed off something I'm sensitive to",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for yelling at a girl who showed off something I'm sensitive to?
|
I'm sorry that the topic is something so sensitive, but this has been bugging me for the longest of time.
A little bit of a backstory - I've been diagnosed with C-PTSD, and I experienced the lowest point of my life so far back on the 18th of June 2018 (1 day before my birthday). Since then I have recovered,and I am nearing to getting therapy, but I do have scars on my arms.
Anyway, here's what happened.
At my school there is this girl, let's call her M. M is not very liked at our school, for various reasons. She hangs out with the worst people at school, one of her friends once got suspended for brining in beer to school and police got involved.
Anyway, a few days after my attempt I was back in school with bandages on my arms, and we were lining up for P.E. I'm assuming she heard what happened to me and came up to me.
I was just chatting to my friends while she, in front of everyone, pulls her sleeve up and says "Oh, K (me) I did bad!"
At that point, I still have not fully been over my attempt and yelled at her, "Step away from me, don't show me that shit". I looked away very quickly too.
This is where I think I was an asshole, I should've have explained to her to not show it to people, especially those who haven't themselves recovered from nearly being hospitalised because of cuts like that. I think my reaction was from impulse and general shock, but I should've handled it better.
She promptly put down her sleeve and walked to the back of our line. One of my friends noticed and asked me if I was okay, I said yes and we continued on with our day.
I had heard that M did it to loads of other people around the school, and most of us think that she either does not know how to get help, or is doing it for attention. She literally walked up to classmates that tolerated her and showed off her cuts to them.
I mostly dislike her because of her personality too (in my opinion she can be unbearable to be around sometimes), but this is a big reason as to why.
I do not wish anything bad to happened to her, but I was very annoyed and shocked after it happened, and thinking about it that day almost made me want to do it myself. I do hope she stopped doing it, and she feels better. But I still pretty much hate her for it.
I'm sorry if this is a bit difficult to read, I wanted to get this out of my chest, and get some opinions.
Also, I apologise if I don't respond to some messages, I struggle talking to most people online.
TL:DR -
Girl shows off her cuts to a large group of people, and classmates. When she shows it off to me, I yell at her to not show that shit to me. I feel extremely bad for it, but at the same time I'm not sure how I feel about myself.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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udenFBKYIe13Lds2lhCXovbRmIjL0pc6
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b5yif8
| null |
AITA neighbor storms out of my house
|
I'm on mobile
I was warned before we moved to this close knit community by mutual friends that one particular individual (Matt) has a tendency to flip out on people. Never a physical altercation but getting in people's face and yelling, name calling etc. I had always said that I would not deal with it and if he did it to me I'm going to refuse to associate with him.
So a few days ago my spouse and I were planning dinner when I mentioned some friends were alone for the weekend unbeknownst to me they were both over at Matt's house when they received the text invite. So they both stop by and we are enjoying dinner when Matt pulls up and joins. So we pass the time and Matt starts to get offended by anything said by anyone. Now all the sudden anytime something is said to Matt he crosses his arms and starts repeating "you just hate me, I don't know why I even come over here. You just hate me" so I try to break the ice and say "now Matt no-one hates you" well Matt eventually steers the convo to the local road commissioner and says he's going to run for the position so he can collect a check while doing no work and I say"Matt if you run for office you've got my vote" and he suddenly grabs his cooler and walks up to me and pokes his finger in my chest and says "you'll never see me over here again" and leaves. So the rest of us are stunned but we didn't think much of it and enjoyed the rest of the night
So skip ahead a few days and one of the mutual friends (Aaron) that had just returned from vacation comes over to say "hey buddy you might want to know Matt is really pissed at you and saying he isn't going to go to the 4th of July festivities or on the friends canoe trip cause he's really pissed" so I replied "I don't care really, he came over uninvited and flipped out like he always does so I'm not putting up with it" and he replies with "well, don't make a big deal out of it he always calms down after doing this" so I'm rather upset that one of my best friends came over just to basically tell me to knuckle under and not rock the boat because he does this to everyone but when he is sober he's a good guy.
So I wait a few days then approach Aaron and say that I feel it's crap that he came over he says he just wanted me to know how upset Matt was and that was it so I ask him if he told Matt that I was pissed and he says no he hasn't spoken with him about it at all and he's staying out of it. The entire time I'm getting the feeling that he's basically saying "we all know you can be a dick so it's probably your fault somehow"
Now everyone is telling me I should just go talk to Matt and apologize so everyone can get along and just move on but I'm thinking if he's going to do this repeatedly then why put up with it? I don't need that kind of noise but I feel like I've been alienated from everyone including my close friend Aaron because "it's just how Matt is
AITA for not apologizing or for getting upset with Aaron?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
sg70XJ70n2HPgnNUqTmhw3NVcwPJ522u
|
aetq3p
|
{
"description": "trying to break up with my depressed girlfriend after finding out I probably have cancer",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for trying to break up with my depressed girlfriend after finding out I probably have cancer
|
After weeks of abdominal pain I finally got it checked out. Doctors discovered an 11cm diamater mass. At this point, they think its Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, but are doing more tests to find out exactly what it is.
I avoided telling my girlfriend for a week or so, but she called me when I was drunk and I told her everything and said I was breaking up with her. We've since talked and are on a "break".
My girlfriend has a history of depression, anxiety and self harm. I want to distance her as much as possible from the likely shit show that is coming my way, but on the other hand I'm worried what this might do for her mental health.
She is just starting to get better and I figured dealing with a break up is easier than dealing with all the shit that comes along with cancer and possibly death of a SO. Not to mention I won't be able to give her the care and support she needs.
We are currently long distance as I'm working interstate.
I want to emphasize that I know what I'm doing is shit and it will hurt her, so I don't want the sympathy "NTA". Give me your honest opinion.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
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|
RIGHT
|
QJdcyAfl2WmpDr4M98abbDcFXmU9AlUW
|
ar3k19
|
{
"description": "having a work crush",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for having a work crush?
|
Some back story. I'm in my 30's and I've been with my gf for years, however we are currently separated for about a month. I'm at a temp job right now for the past 2 weeks. I work very closely with another girl (let's call her Jane) who I'm very attracted to both her looks and personality. We get along great. She may even be into me too. When we were just getting to know each other she told me she was single, and me if I was seeing anyone. I told her the same as I didn't really want to get into the whole "I'm separated" story and probably because I'm crushing on this girl. I haven't done anything outside of talking to Jane like you would a friend and if I'm being honest some flirting. I have no plans to do anything further since I'm not completely broken up with my current girlfriend. I feel a huge amount of guilt from all this, but at the same time I'm excited to go to work and see Jane as it really brightens my day up amidst all the relationship woes. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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RIGHT
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|
aogv2o
|
{
"description": "bringing up something that I know embarrasses my gf because she isn't following through",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
WIBTA If I brought up something that I know embarrasses my gf because she isn't following through?
|
A little over 2 months ago gf and I were hanging out at my apt drinking and she got beyond shitfaced. She passed out hard and I went to bed soon after. I woke up in the middle of the night and my ass and legs are soaked. I jump out of bed and turn the light on and she didn't stir at all, she had pissed the bed. I was able to get her up and get the blankets and sheets off and replace them with a couple extra comforters, but it was still nasty.
I could tell she was really embarrassed the next day and she kinda just bounced before I could say anything about it. I figured she was pretty hung over so I'd give her some recovery time before I brought it up.
The issue is I'm not working right now, I'm on disability. I scrape by and replacing my mattress would take months and months of saving every extra cent. She lives with her parents and works part time. She has no bills. I really feel like she should replace the mattress.
I tried being as understanding and non judgmental about it as possible. These things happen, at the same time I need a new mattress. I told her I was fine with the cheapest option she could find that would fit the box spring. She was just kinda quiet and agreed to replace it.
After about a month of sleeping on a bed that still reeks (febreeze and bleach have done almost nothing) I asked her if she's been able to save up enough to get the mattress soon. She blew up at me and told me she said she'll buy one and that's what she's going to do, but I need to stop bringing up because it's humiliating. I get that and I backed off on it.
Well it's over two months now and yesterday I saw on her fb selfies from the salon she goes to. I know she spends well over $100 each trip there because one time she "jokingly" told me I should pay for her salon trips because she does it for me. The only furniture I have in my apt is a couple folding chairs and my bed. So I can't even sleep on a couch and wait for her to replace it. It's gross.
I don't want to embarrass her, but I'm sick of having to smell it. I feel like she's just ignoring the situation I'm pretty irked that she'd treat herself to an expensive salon visit and show it off on fb, while I'm still living with her piss smell every night.
I know I agreed not to bring it up again, but she's not following through and I feel like she's not going to unless I push the issue again.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
d9lRTRBHeqV1qUKrRXI7AGrheokcErS1
|
azwmle
|
{
"description": "refusing to forgive my younger brother",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 51
}
|
AITA for refusing to forgive my younger brother?
|
A little backstory: My brother and I were always extremely close up until 3 years ago. When he was 12 and I was 20 my mom and I had a falling out over honoring my Grandma’s final wishes to have her small fortune donated to various charities(my mother felt she should have been able to keep most of it). Later that week my brother took me off Facebook, Snapchat, and our shared video games. I tried texting him to ask what was wrong and he said after the argument he didn’t want to see me anymore.
I was upset but I gave him space thinking I’d talk to him and explain he doesn’t need to choose sides but he never responded back to any messages. Now it’s 3 years later and he wants to apologize and talk it out, I refused and told him he had a chance 3 years ago and that 12 years old imo is an age where your actions can lead to very real consequences. I told him he survived 3 years without me he will survive more.
I get that I may be going overboard on this but he made the decision (stepdad confirmed mom had no part) and I don’t feel he is entitled to forgiveness.
I apologize if there isn’t enough information this is all there is to it. I didn’t get any form of explanation from him and my mom trimmed my branch off the family tree.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
d2DyfSbfBzHytWuLifkLUPYFXazlMfyo
|
a4qc1t
|
{
"description": "not running an errand for the shift manager after my scheduled time off from work because I had to watch my niece and nephew",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not running an errand for the shift manager after my scheduled time off from work because I had to watch my niece and nephew?
|
It was a little past 5, the time I'm off. One of the 2 drivers scheduled in at 5 hadn't came in yet. The shift manager asked me to pick up some supplies at another store because they ran out. I said I couldn't because I watch my niece and nephew for my brother and sister in law most evenings until my sister in law gets home around 9.
The shift manager says, "a part of having a job is having open availability, and if you can't handle that, you should just quit". I said, no, you're responsible for the shift you're scheduled. He says, just clock out and go home.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
2PTNaY4qS5X4rEz0nzKYRtWUmaqFJpYn
|
acpuuc
|
{
"description": "wanting to tell my 5 year old about same sex relationships",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to tell my 5 year old about same sex relationships?
|
Okay, she's technically not 5 yet, but she will be in just over a month. Also she's technically my step daughter but she calls me mommy and I consider her my daughter.
Anyway, apparently she was watching Vampire Diaries with her aunt (yeah, I don't really agree with that either) and there was a scene with a lesbian couple kissing. Her immediate reaction was "WHAT IS SHE DOING?! That's not a boy!!!" Her aunt told me and my fiance about it and he refuses to tell her something simple like "well, just like how a man and a woman can love each other, so can two girls or two guys."
He says "let her be a child, she's too young to know about that stuff". I say if she's old enough to know about heterosexual couples, she's old enough to know about gay/lesbian. To me it's the same if she had said that about a white/black couple.
This has been an ongoing issue with us, he says I'm too hard on her, that I need to just let her be. As I'm *only* step mom I feel like I have no say at all and this is something I feel really strongly about.
TL,DR: Fiancé says it's too soon to tell 5 year old daughter about lesbians/gays, I think it's as normal as straight couples. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
4qTj0rQtURZ7MHNEKaQAQotmEg5gJruS
|
b8dcqr
|
{
"description": "asking for a schedule change 'early'",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking for a schedule change 'early'.
|
Jesus, I have a lot of these recently.
SO, my last meeting, literally 3 days ago, the shift manager(SM) said Wednesday is the last day to set schedules, as that's when she makes them. To my knowledge, it was only the next week's schedule, as after that, within 2 days, it is printed out and put on the restaurant board. I asked my GM today about it, and he told me to notify him later, as well as the SM, and my immediate supervisor (IS) in a group chat. I thought everything was all well and good.
However, I am desperately searching for a job to start my career. In an IT related field. And have an interview Monday and Tuesday, and had them scheduled literally 2 hours before I walked into work to ask my GM, *today*.
After work, I put them in a group with myself, and asked. The GM said it was all well and good, the SM, however, was a different story. She told me *last Wednesday* was the last day to make schedule changes to that week. Not the Wednesday before. Then immediately posted to the main group the same general message, and that changes could not be guaranteed if it was done the week before. I gave them a *near exact* 7 days notice.
I will be approximately 200 miles away. Days given off (or the less preferred, first day off, morning after that off, and work the second or closing shift. The drive will be a speedy one) or not. I need one of those jobs for the experience to a GREAT job I am targeting specifically, and the past two months *alone* have been dodgy on getting a call back (only 2, not including these, out of a modest minimum of 100 applications), let alone an in-person interview. They do know this, as I have talked about the potential of this happening before.
And, despite the fact they told me I could walk out and not leave a two week notice if I plan to quit, I still plan on doing a wholehearted two weeks notice, as they have been accommodating, and I like my coworkers.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
vRQYQ59Mn282jKHkWQrDGAC2jcKRQ4Ie
|
9ynb32
|
{
"description": "not going to any of my ex-bestfriends events",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going to any of my ex-bestfriends events?
|
I had a buddy that was my best friend for 15 years. He went out on a couple of dates with a girl and that was the last I ever heard from him. No reason, no responses from phone calls or texts, wouldn't answer his door if I swung by his house to make sure he was ok after not hearing from him. After a month and a half of trying to contact him I called it quits with trying.
Fast forward 5 years to when he ran into my mom at a gas station and then all of a sudden he got my number from her and wants to hang out. I've since started a family and he doesn't really know a thing about me anymore. I end up hanging out with him and his now fiancee. I don't even recognize him cause he's not even close to the same guy he used to be.
A couple months later I get an invite to his wedding and then a text to be part of his bachelor party. I then come to find out that all of his groomsmen are the same guys we all grew up with and from the group texts I was in for the bachelor party that none of them ever got cut off like I did with everything they were talking about. He never once gave me a reason for dipping out of my life for 5 years, even though I was the only person he did it to.
AITA for not going to the bachelor party and for sending in my rsvp for the wedding with a no? I personally don't feel like going and hamging out with all the guys I grew up with who for some reason weren't shut out? Not to mention that between the bachelor party and wedding it would cost me over $1,000.
TL:DR - Best friend of 15 years stopped talking to me out of nowhere and then 5 years later wants me to be part of his bachelor party and wedding and I said no.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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RIGHT
|
wo9t5tB0iDLtWuo8TFiDnkYCH6Vpn75P
|
ax9rpj
|
{
"description": "refusing my grandmother's \"inheritance\"",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for refusing my grandmother's "inheritance"
|
My grandmother recently told me she wants to leave me her house when she passes. I'm not a fan of this for a number of reasons, but I said it was fine. She's stubborn and typically gets what she wants, so I figured it was best to accept and figure it out when the time comes.
However, this eventually turned into "I want to transfer the property to your name now so that the nursing home can't take it when I go in", and now I really don't want to have anything to do with it. I've tried explaining to her that the nursing home can't seize her house, and that Medicaid would only place a lien against her house if she can't pay for her care and it's within 5 years (which is not likely to happen). She's in good health and it will likely be several years before she has to go into a home. During that time, the house will be in my name, but she will live there and continue to pay the mortgage until such a time that she needs to go into a nursing home.
I don't see the point to it being in my name. If anything happens to the house, I'm liable for it. If the worst case scenario happened and she needed the cash sooner sooner than later, I'd sell the house and give her the money anyways. Even if neither of those things happen, at best I'm left with a $80k mortgage on a house that I don't want and can't afford, so I'd still sell it. She's still under the impression that I'd move in once she goes into a home, despite my insistence that I would likely no longer live in the same state and have no desire to own property in her city. She still wants to do this her way, and I'm incredibly uncomfortable with it.
WIBTA for refusing to put her house in my name? I'd I do, there's a good chance she won't leave me the house in her will, which at this point I'm okay with.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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"NOBODY": 5,
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}
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NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
oqKZlLGzK2g2DIWCzJRbqoDDgP7sOQEl
|
a6q5i4
|
{
"description": "wanting to put my family dog down",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to put my family dog down
|
Our dog has been with my family for over 8 years and she is around 13 years old. Half a year ago she developed cancer in her mouth and the doctor said it's terminal. I moved out of the house and across country before she had cancer so I didn't see how it happened (or spot the tumor). I'm visiting my family now and she is in a really bad state. Her tumor is the size of a golf ball in her gums. When she eats she is constantly piercing through the gums so it is an open infected wound. She bleeds so much that her fur is stained with blood. Her tumor is so infected that you can smell it 5 feet away. They can't even bathe her because she cries hard and they're scared of hurting her. Not only that but she is going blind and deaf. She doesn't play with the other dogs anymore, she doesn't recognize or acknowledge us, and all she does the whole day is stay in the corner of the garage sleeping. I suggested that we euthanize her because for me it was obvious that she is suffering. But they do not want to be because she still has appetite and she takes painkillers so she doesn't feel the pain. I would be happy if she continued living out her life and died naturally IF they gave her a good quality of life but they don't. She has always been an outdoor dog but during the day she would stay in the house. Now, she isn't even allowed in the house because of her smell. She is covered in filth and no one cleans her. These are supposed to be her last moments and she should be pampered and spoiled, but it's like she is avoided. It breaks my hear to see her this way.
After suggesting this to my family, they reacted as if I was a monster for wanting to kill our dog. I got extremely emotional about it because I believe it is the ethical thing to do. I don't want to wait until she is in extreme pain. I want to give her a good last couple of days (shower her with food and love) and end her life in a controlled situation where she isn't alone. When I got emotional, they acted as if I was being a huge drama queen. I've been going through this situation in my head for the last couple of days. I'm trying to understand their point. She isn't technically my dog anymore since I don't live here but I grew up with her too. So, am I the asshole for wanting to put her down even if she isn't in pain (so they think) and still has a good appetite?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
kDu8Kpys2Wm6uPn6qVPUTIuVAAgEX5cx
|
agtacu
|
{
"description": "cumming in my girlfriend's mouth",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for cumming in my girlfriend's mouth?
|
A BJ usually ends in regular sex or me finishing in her mouth. Girlfriend is on her period this week. Got a BJ once earlier in the week, ended up with me finishing in her mouth. I usually tell her when I'm about to cum, serving as a warning. Shes never swallowed yet, so usually she spits it out in the drain afterwards.
Last night, I didn't feel like getting a BJ since I usually enjoy being a giver more than a receiver. She was insisting anyway so I played along. Took me a while to get into it but eventually I did. I got carried away and didn't give her the usual notice of me about to cum. Ended up cumming in her mouth without warning her. She goes to the bathroom and spits it out, but comes back to me all angry, refusing to speak to me. I tried apologizing for not giving her a warning, but she totally ignored me for the rest of the night, up until now (almost 12 hours later). AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
RHA0EFF46G7zqUBF95PFzgnPORH3YRmg
|
a38x4c
|
{
"description": "wanting to be called by my preferred name",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to be called by my preferred name?
|
Ok. So last week was my birthday! Which was awesome, but I had to deal with my grandparents. I came out to them as transgender about two months ago, and they vehemently denied it. They literally said I was being controlled by the devil, which is why I feel this way, apparently.
So they used my name at my party, once. Which made me very happy! I was ecstatic! They also used a card for me that said "happy birthday, grandson" on the front and deadnamed me the rest of the time, but I chalked it up as progress.
Nonetheless, I was still *very* upset. It was my birthday, and though I was very grateful they showed up and I could wear makeup and stuff, and they were respectful, I was incredibly dysphoric because of the constant deadnaming.
I brought this up today, and my mom became furious with me, saying I need to be patient with them and give them time, and that I "can't expect change overnight". I replied that I didnt, and that I was very grateful for what they've done for my family and I, but I still want to be called by name. I said I deserved to at least be recognized of my identity.
My mom then said that I was being selfish, and I was only thinking of myself.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Hzo2TYMnRwJwqWxHKsOJa67NXm3Kv88W
|
ab1ag3
|
{
"description": "skipping my 20 year high school reunion",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for skipping my 20 year high school reunion?
|
Our senior class president (class president for life whether you want it or not) and another contacted everyone they could find and set a date. He put a $200 non-refundable deposit on a ballroom. I RSVPd for myself and spouse. Near the event, the venue was changed to a bar, where the 7 total attendees could just hang out and each pay the (far from poor) president about $30. Partly due to awkwardness and another engagement, I cancelled, and was unfriended.
Similarly a thirtyish divorcée insisted my spouse’s class reunite in Vegas. When attendance didn’t reach the minimum at least payments were returned, minus PayPal fees.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
Q2NQdPK89abrQ7MTsE2oBMVMe7xAZ8lG
|
a5ng3n
|
{
"description": "not taking her to the concert after all",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not taking her to the concert after all?
|
This happened a year ago but now that I found this sub I'm curious to see what people think.
So last Christmas, my parents got me concert tickets. I was really excited about it. They got me two. I mentioned this to my friend, Ellie, just in a "Oh my parents' got me this great gift!" kind of way and she immediately started squealing, all excited that \*we\* were going to a concert. I didn't really correct her- the concert was not for another couple months, and it was very likely that I would invite her, but I hadn't then. Ellie comes from a LOT of money, and is pretty entitled with a lot of things. She once threw out a manual can opener because she wanted an electric one and "manual can openers are for poor people". Yes. Really.
However, here's where I think I effed up. My parents got me two tickets. Ellie, assuming I would of course take her, asked if I could buy an additional 2 tickets so that her fiance and the guy I was talking to could come. I pushed back, said I didn't want to plan so far out, that I was just getting to know the guy I was talking to, that I didn't want to risk it. The tickets were expensive. After more back and forth, I did buy the tickets. Ellie was very much under the impression that I was taking her and I was definitely not correcting her, again because there was a good chance I would've taken Ellie and her fiance had everything stayed as it was. Also important to note, Ellie picked me up a bottle of wine at some point at my request. When I went to pay her for it, she declined and said something about how it was her concert ticket payment. I assumed she was joking, the bottle of wine was maybe $15 and her and her fiance's tickets combined were over $200.
Anyways, like I said, I likely would have taken Ellie to the concert had things stayed the same. But they didn't. She started blowing off my texts and calls, and our plans in general. We made plans to go get lunch after classes one day, and she was going to pick me up from campus. It was raining. I waited for her for 20 minutes before she texted me and said she wasn't coming after all. Whenever I tried to talk to her about it, she would tell me she was busy and that I couldn't understand because my major was "basically basket weaving". If it matters, she is a nursing major and I am political science. My closest friend is an engineering major, and my other good friend is biology and pre-med, I totally understand when they don't have time for me, but I do expect the common courtesy of "hey, I'm not going to be able to make it" instead of just not showing up.
Any time we did talk, she had something cruel to say about my other friends, the guys I liked, the clothes I wore. Hanging out with guys made me a whore, and the guy I liked wasn't good looking enough, and I was giving people the wrong idea by drinking at bars. That kind of stuff. I wound up blocking her and her fiance from viewing my social media because whenever they did, it opened the door for them to be critical.
So with the concert coming up, I hadn't seen Ellie or had a pleasant nonconfrontational conversation with her in several months. The guy I liked had broken things off. So I went with three close guy friends of mine. Ellie \*\*freaked\*\* out. Her text to follow:
"You literally were such a weasel about this whole situation I didn't even want to have a conversation with you about it bc I would rip your head off and I've been so busy I haven't wanted to get worked up about it. Do I need to just draw it out step by step? Bc obviously humanities has drained all your neurons.
A: you gave away the tickets without even asking which is a weasel move. If you wanted to just give them away bc we haven't been hanging out then you could have just told me before hand and had the consideration to alert me
B: even tho I only bought you 1 bottle of wine and have all the money in the world it was rude as shit for you not to offer to pay me back considering I bought it for you in exchange for a ticket and had gotten you another already
C: the fact you made it look like you weren't going to the concert yourself and that you gave away all the tickets but actually you just sold the ones that me and (fiance) were going to use"
It got uglier after that, I eventually cut her and her fiance both out of my life. I've never felt I was in the wrong but I'm curious what other people think. To be totally clear, I paid for/was gifted all four tickets. The closest thing to payment Ellie gave me was a $15 bottle of wine. I didn't even know about the second one, if that matters, because I thought who the hell would think that is an equal tradeoff. And I have no idea why she was under the impression I wasn't going to the concert myself. I never said anything to that effect. I think probably because she figured out I'd taken her and her fiance off my social media, but that happened weeks prior.
\*\*TL;DR:\*\* Made loose promises to take friend and her fiance to a concert, she started to act like kind of a crappy friend so I took other people, she FREAKED out. AITA?
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
1qT6JwH3vMzKA2VMEGwXQhHfZ5e3RXwW
|
aodwry
|
{
"description": "criticizing my step-dad for being a man-child",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for criticizing my step-dad for being a man-child?
|
So my step dad has been living with my mother and I for two years. He's 40 now, doesn't do the dishes, cook, complains if we make food with too many brassicas, is way to defensive of his dog (who has literally bitten multiple children, including myself), listens to heavy metal music way too loudly (even if you ask him to stop) and if you try to bring any of these things up to him he throws a hissy fit and leaves. So I have a tendency to criticize him for his lack of doing things (or just doing things in a really strange way that either doesn't work or barely does), because I honestly feel like no one else does.
The problem is that he and my mother had a daughter last year (she's not the problem I love her). But I think my mom feels trapped with him, she's even admitted that if she didn't have my little sister the two of them would have split up a long time ago. She feels like she can't she can't leave him, and I understand why she feels like that and I don't think she should unless she really thinks she needs to.
since you probably want an example:
The other day, he put my little sister in her high chair and didn't buckler in or put the tray in front of her so that she couldn't fall out and proceeded to wheel her across the kitchen while she almost fell out. I told him the he should strap her in, and he started ranting about how I shouldn't tell him to how raise his kid, he knows more than me because he's older, ect. Even thought I spend more time with his kid than he does.
Our room mate (his long time friend) won't tell him when he doesn't shit wrong, and has the tendency to say "Oh that's just how he is". My mom sees that there is a problem, but whenever she tries to bring it up they either end up kiss (without actually resolving the conflict) or he gets all pissy and leaves.
So am I the asshole for criticizing him, even when I know he's not going to change no matter how much he needs to?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
9auYdfrUftpFvlsoxJ6eof7HMMxC0Yk6
|
9x7rdf
|
{
"description": "not letting my daughter's father see her on holidays",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA- For not letting my daughter's father see her on holidays?
|
So my daughter's father (B), signed custody papers of his own will, that did not give him holidays or vacations. I offered him the day after Thanksgiving and Christmas day to have her with his family. He threw a fit because he wanted Thanksgiving day and Christmas eve (when my family, whom I see twice a year, celebrate). I told him to take it or leave it, and he continued to argue and berate me, so I assume he won't take it. So from here on, I'm only giving him his legal visitation of 2 hours every other Saturday. Although I'm extending the offer to his family (whom I love), IF they do not invite him.
Back story: Got pregnant after a fling, he decided when she was a year old he wanted custody (before he had even met her), lasted 2 months before wanting to terminate his rights (on christmas), 6 months later takes me to court for contempt, signed new order, which brings us here. Daughter is 2.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
dBjmvJVXOVbxBbRUsnaCn6Fg3g8cNFXT
|
b6fh8o
|
{
"description": "not helping a rude classmate pass a hard exam",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not helping a rude classmate pass a hard exam?
|
*High School moral dilemma alert*
So, I met this guy (I'll be calling him A) in high school and we were nothing but classmates, I actually don't recall ever talking to him at all, that is until I talked to a teacher about one of his friends (Let's call him L) making unwanted sexual remarks to my friend and I and overall making us feel uncomfortable, for all I know L didn't have any consequences but that didn't stop him from telling his friends (Including A) lies along the lines of 'I just asked her for a pencil and she got all offended and freaked out on me'.
This prompted to L and A having a public conversation in the classroom groupchat where they called me uptight, ugly and basically too undesirable and not sexually attractive enough to be treated the way I said I was. This is common behavior with girls they don't get along with and if it wasn't obvious by L not getting consequences, the school doesn't usually take action in reprimanding students so I let it pass.
Months after, A failed a couple of subjects, but there was one in particular where he failed HARD, and that's a class that i'm particularly good at, and to be fair it was quite a hard and long exam, so when he got the chance to redo it, A contacted my friend and I separately, asking if he could borrow our exams to study. Long story short, we ignored his message and later his mom would come out to talk about how his son asked for study guides to a couple of classmates but didn't get an answer, and she was quite angry about it.
I talked about this with a couple of people and some of them told me i should have helped him, and I'm honestly conflicted because a part of me thinks I could have easily taken a weigh off his shoulders if i hadn't been petty about something that happened months before, where he was probably being misled to believe i brought L's behavior to light out of need of attention, and that he was in a way supporting his friend and not doing it out of malice, but another part of me thinks it's ok i didn't help, because he was talking that way about me in a public matter where he knew I could see it (God knows what he might have said in private) and then nonchalantly asking me for my exam to "study" from it instead of opening a book and studying like the rest of us.
Both seem perfectly valid and i'm just kinda looking for guidance to apologize if i should, so, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
HkUaHbzQ5kRANPA20VVGypi6I5aF6Xun
|
anh6rj
|
{
"description": "telling my mother to go mind her own business",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my mother to go mind her own business?
|
[20M] Yesterday I uploaded a picture to Instagram where I was in a nightclub with a friend. In the picture I'm wearing a cap, a blue flower patterned t-shirt, and holding a bucket filled with booze that we two and other friend, who took the picture, were drinking from.
Later on I get a text from my mother saying that the picture made me look awful upon others, asking who my friend was, and also saying that I had awful taste and was shaming my family (yes, literally). At the time she also told my dad to check out the "embarrassing" and "tasteless" picture, and I had a talk with him but it doesn't add anything here.
What I answered to my mother was something like this:
"I knew this time would come, and this is exactly why I blocked you until some months ago. It's my own Instagram profile, not yours, and I think I have the right age to know what I can and can't upload. As I also think I have the right criteria to dress by myself and get the haircut I want (I'm balding so I shaved my head), without caring about you approving it. If you don't like what I upload you're free to unfollow me, nobody's forcing you to follow me."
About my mother's side of the story, I don't know too much because she's away at my uncle's house. Supposedly my uncle saw the picture and told my mother that I was making a fool of myself or something like that. And there she went, messaged me about it and also told my father. She never approved me wearing caps, argumenting that they are lowly and tasteless, but as I shaved my head that day I was feeling kind of conscious and went to the club with a cap on, which I bought myself and really like how it suits me. My friend was also wearing a cap and a Hawaiian shirt, two pieces of clothing she hates (I also have some Hawaiian shirts myself) and so she came to the conclusion that my friend, who I talked to her about before, is sort of a bad person because of the way he dresses.
I'm guessing that my flowered t-shirt isn't a problem since she bought it for me.
To conclude, she read the message but didn't reply anything. I've been feeling kind of shitty and depressed because I'm sick of her trying to control me and shaming me for the things about me that she doesn't like, but also because I feel that I was too harsh on what I said. I felt like this was the last straw but maybe I was kind of a bastard as well. So, am I the asshole here?
Note: my mother doesn't know all my friends, including the one from the picture who I know from college: she only knows the ones I have since preschool.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
cWeiZm0YeIzcZtsTY7FV5HJsWJruvdCB
|
ailmq8
|
{
"description": "telling a friend that our mutual friend doesn't like him",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a friend that our mutual friend doesn’t like him?
|
This is a bit long so there’s a TL;DR at the bottom
A little background first. I have two friends that I’ve known for awhile that in the last couple months I’ve introduced them to each other. They hit it off and the guy has a thing for the girl. She’s made it clear to me on many occasions that she does not want to date him but continues to accept his attention (they’ve hooked up before). Though I suspect that she does actually secretly harbours some feelings due to some of her actions.
Now the issue is while hanging out with the guy a couple days ago he ends up asking me if she likes him or if she’s said anything to me about it. This puts me in a weird situation because I don’t want to lie to my friend but I don’t want to betray the others friends trust. The gist of what I say is “I don’t know for sure, she might, or she might not. Don’t ask her on a date unless you know for sure” Female friend texts me later that night and she’s livid. She asks me to explain myself and tell me what I said to our friend. I pretty much tell her the contents of this post and that I didn’t say any actual info. Friend proceeds to ignore all my texts and calls for the next couple days and I’m left trying to figure out what happened.
Turns out male friend ended up getting wasted that night and drunk texting his crush (my friend) which leads her to believe I’ve told him things she’s told me in confidence. My issue is that I didn’t find out that he texted her until now and I was left confused and concerned after she ghosted me for days ignoring my texts and calls without letting me know what happened.
Could I have made a better choice? Should I have not said anything? Am I a bad friend? AITA?
TL;DR: friend ignores me for days without telling me why she’s mad because she’s upset that I told our mutual friend that she may or may not like him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
CB6MxskSggBtv7zIPXURjvdCrMNptR0i
|
afxf0y
|
{
"description": "not wanting my boyfriend to be touchy with another girl",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to be touchy with another girl?
|
I love my boyfriend dearly but he's really close with this other girl. Close as in not just friendly, but physically. They do things that make everyone think they're a couple like laying on eachother's laps, hugging for the entire hour, laying heads on shoulders, runing hands down hair, sides, and thighs, and sitting on eachother's laps. My friends even tell me that my boyfriend gropes her breasts and crotch and she lets him do it
I have anxiety issues in general, so this is really messing with me and giving me nightmares. I don't mind him being friends with her; he has plenty of female friends, but he's not that touchy with any others.
I've talked to him about it and cried about it because it really bothers me but they just won't stop. He took me to therapy about it once. He told me he won't grope her private parts anymore, but they're still going to be touchy everywhere else.
Some context: my boyfriend has cheated before; He actually cheated in his last relationship which was back in the summer, which is why I'm so paranoid. He has also dated this girl before, but now they're just friends, and since they've known eachother for a while, that's why they are like they are... the thing is that they didn't talk for a couple years, and just as of late November they got back in touch.
Am I being too jealous? Too controlling?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 39,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
BQcswA0zIK3HeTXCy4kgUbfBAexmJUT2
|
9tqtkt
|
{
"description": "not wanting my parents to use my car",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my parents to use my car?
|
Throwaway because of personal info
A bit of backstory:
I’m 18 and I moved out of home when I was 16. I’m back temporarily because my university course was correspondence only for this term, and now that it’s over (it ended a week ago) I’m job hunting so I can move out again. I’ve been home for about 3 months and am likely going to be here for another two. I’ve paid my parents rent the entire time I’ve been here, every week on the dot, the exact amount they request. I also pay for my own food and rarely eat theirs unless it’s a dinner they’ve specifically made for everyone.
My car is 100% mine. Even though I’m only 18 I purchased it with completely my own money that I earned from working full time. I pay all my own insurance and registration and gas.
Now, I’ve often woken up at around 10am (it’s my uni break week, cut me some slack) to find my keys gone from my handbag and my car gone. My dad is usually the one who borrows it but my mum does occasionally too. They NEVER put gas money in and right now gas is about $1.60 AU per litre in my part of Australia (according to my math that’s $4.60 US per gallon).
They rarely return my keys and I have to go looking for them myself. If I hide my keys, they get upset and make excuses that “your car has better aircon so it’s not hot” or “your car is safer in case of a crash” and “your car is better to put groceries in” as I have a large SUV while my mum has a small sedan and my dad has an uncovered ute. I’ve even been woken up at around 6 because my dad wants my keys to take my car to work.
Why I don’t want them using my car:
My dad leaves my car a mess, and always changes my radio station and leaves the volume on max. I keep my car completely spotless as it’s a relatively newer car that I’m very proud of, and it pisses me off to get in and find used soda bottles on the ground and receipts everywhere. My mum is clean but she is an awful driver and her car is covered with dents and scratches from her hitting things. Both of their cars are perfectly usable, they just want to use mine because it’s newer and nicer.
I feel obligated to let them use my car because they’re letting me live with them while I job search. Would I be the asshole if I straight up told them I don’t want them using my car?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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RIGHT
|
ueTa4aii42ndCIcgxbI8PJ4souWxUCo2
|
anjgpg
|
{
"description": "telling my roommate/best friend I wanted to stop sharing food with her",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I told my roommate/best friend I wanted to stop sharing food with her
|
So I'm roommates with one of my best friends in the world. I love living with her 90% of the time but recently she has been getting on my nerves.
We've always been very open about sharing things. It's usually not a problem for me - we only have so much cabinet space and we don't need 2 jars of every spice for example. As long as no one uses the last of my stuff or replaced it, I've normally been very chill about. She has never used my stuff excessively. Until this year.
She has been exclusively using my stuff. And not just a little bit. I had a jug of olive oil from Costco and she probably used 75% of it without paying a dime for it. She uses my cheese all the time. I was really excited to eat see Mac and cheese only to find that she had helped herself to the best flavors in the variety pack. She doesn't even ask and just helps herself.
It would be one thing if she helped pay for this or if I used the stuff she bought equally as frequently, however she only buys things that I don't like (and therefore wouldn't buy).
We only have until May in this apartment (we'll be graduating college). I'm kinda at the end of my rope with this. I don't want to rock the boat and have a miserable last semester of college and be an asshole to one of my best friends by suddenly reversing my open sharing policy. But I also don't want to subsidize all hereals because I really don't have the money to do that to begin with. I don't have a meal plan in order to save money but she still has a meal plan.
So, WIBTA if I told her she wasn't allowed to use my stuff anymore?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "stopping putting that I was transgender on my dating bios",
"pronormative_score": 58,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
WIBTA if I stopped putting that I was transgender on my dating bios?
|
So I already know this subs opinion with trans women and dating. I’m always very open about it and always inform the guy/girl that I’m talking to that I’m transgender well before the first date. Yes, I do it to be fair to them, but mostly I do it so I can reduce the chances of me getting my dumb ass murdered. And if the gender settings have a transgender option, I’ll chose it. But on top of all of this, I also put that I’m trans at the very top of my bio, which is usually the only thing people actually read.
My issue is that I keep on attracting guys who only either fetishize me or just want me as a notch on their bedpost and I’m going crazy because of it. I’m super tired of hookups and just want a genuine relationship. So I think taking at least that one line off my bio would hopefully class up the kinds of people I’m matching with.
Obviously if I took it off I’d still inform people before meeting up that I was trans in case there are any issues with that and I’d still keep the same gender options. But I don’t wanna lie to anyone or get murdered( can’t stress that one enough) and I don’t want this to come off as deceitful .
So WIBTA if I took off the part in my dating bio that says I’m trans?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "wanting my girlfriend to text me less",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my girlfriend to text me less?
|
I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 8 months now, and we generally get along very well in person, but when it comes to distance, we don’t really fare so well.
One of the reasons for this is that she is an avid texter and I am not so much. She will send me multiple texts, snapchats, or DMs before I respond. Sometimes this is because I am busy, other times I just don’t feel like texting. I just don’t get as much satisfaction out of texting her as I do out of spending time with her in person.
By no means do I ignore her, but I definitely don’t text her as frequently as she wants me to. If I don't respond to her for a while, she will text me things like “Helloooo” or “You’re ignoring me”, or she’ll just double/triple text me until I respond.
I’ve come to find this kind of annoying, but I’ve mostly kept it to myself because I didn’t want to make it into something big, but the other day we got in a argument and I kind of blew up at her for “pestering me.”
I know ITA for the way I told her about this feeling, but AITA for feeling like this in the first place?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not wanting to split a bill based on income",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to split a bill based on income?
|
I live in a house with 3 neighbor-households. At the last meeting we discussed putting solar panels on the roof. We got an offer from a local company and then they said we should split it on income. I'm not okay with that, why should I pay more, I don't get more out of it in return. I don't have the highest income, but I'd still pay more than if we paid equal amounts. AITA if I veto and thus prevent them from buying (they can't buy unless we all agree)?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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{
"description": "being hurt over something my husband sent to his friends",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for being hurt over something my husband sent to his friends?
|
We were laying on the couch together and he was texting them. Normally I don’t read over his shoulder but I saw that he sent them a meme, so i read it because the ones he sends are usually funny. It was [this](https://me.me/i/marv-cant-man-my-wife-said-no-sorry-bro-6e78642b624b49c6b8e29f1ebd43e1e9) meme. And he followed it by texting “My life even though my wife would deny it.”
Unless we have previous plans, I don’t ever say he can’t do anything. In fact, he doesn’t ask. Hell usually ask “hey do we have plans tonight?” And if I say no, he’ll tell me what he’s going to go do.
We had a talk about this months ago because when we went to have a few drinks with his friends, one of them said to me “Hey thanks for letting him come out tonight.”
I was taken aback, because he’s his own person and there’s never been any question about that. My husband told me that it’s just how his friend is, it now I obviously see that he’s telling them stuff that’s not happening.
I told him it hurt my feelings and he kept saying “well you shouldn’t have read it over my shoulder.”
So I said “You’re right. I’m sorry for reading over your shoulder but what you said hurt my feelings because we’ve talked about this before and I do my best to never act controlling of you or your time.”
And he kept saying “well it’s just a joke!” But never actually saying anything about my hurt feelings.
I haven’t brought it up again because I shouldn’t have seen it to begin with but my feelings are still hurt.
AITA for my feelings being hurt?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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a66tc1
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{
"description": "telling my friend in Chem Class to pay more attention",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my friend in Chem Class to pay more attention?
|
There's a lot of details so keep reading. So I sit next to a friend of mine in chemistry class, and every day, we get a bell ringer with a bunch of questions on the previous lesson on it, and when we finish the bell ringer, we swap it with whoever sits next to us and then we grade them.
So my friend often doesn't pay attention, and will doodle in her notebook or the note sheet. Today, we had a bell ringer on molecular electron shells, (electron dot structure, pi and sigma bonds, that kind of stuff) and she did quite poorly. Since I had to grade it, I noticed this and told her that she needs to pay more attention in class. After that, she just put her head down and nearly started crying. I didn't say anything because I have the social skills of a broken dust pan, and just kind of left her to sit.
Later, at lunch, she yelled at me for not apologizing. I told her that if she was having trouble with the lesson in the first place, that she should have gone to ask the teacher. She said that she didn't ask him about it because she didn't feel safe around him because of something that happened with her mother's student teacher a few years back.
I feel awful about the whole thing, but I still think that she should have asked someone, even if it wasn't the teacher, about the lesson, and I've agreed to help her out with the lesson. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not claiming my farts",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not claiming my farts
|
Sometimes at work I have really nasty (but silent) farts. Due to the nature of my work I can't just up and leave to an empty room. I try and fail to hold it in. I think it's a food issue and I'm working with my doctor to figure out the cause.
So, if a coworker notices the smell AITA for not claiming it?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "giving my ex her Runescape Account back",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for giving my ex her Runescape Account back?
|
So back when I was dating my ex we both got back into Old School Runescape, she had an account, and I had two accounts. Her account got banned for botting, so I decided to let her use my other account as her main.
I broke up with her about half a year ago, and around the time we broke up I had recovered my other account back that she was using.
Seems like a dickhead move right? - I can understand that. Keep in mind though, I took this girl on a business-class trip, full expense paid Vacation to Europe, I bought her food all the time since she wasn’t working and always claimed to have “no money” (she gave her dude friend $20 to hit on an older lady at the bar, obviously she ain’t as tight on money as she says) and she was a very dependable person in the sense she can almost never be alone, so I had little to no free-time of my own and she lived an hour away while she was going to school. I wasn’t a dick to her besides the occasional arguing and yelling, I definitely made some mistakes but that’s not really the point of all this.
I had quit OSRS before we broke up, and at one point I had given her absolutely all of my items worth value. I messaged her one day asking her if I can have some of my stuff back, to which she says no because she sold most of it and is actively playing so she needs the money. I said alrighty then. It was at this point I recovered the account. The account hasn’t been used for months, and was not a member. This made me pretty pissed off, she was that spiteful as to lie over something as so stupid as virtual items, so in my head I just said “Fuck you, I’m keeping this account. If you can spend $20 on something as stupid as a joke you can buy yourself a fucking OLD SCHOOL RUNESCAPE ACCOUNT.”
1. If she had simply helped me out I gladly would’ve just let her have the account and we can just live our lives.
2. Once she figured out I recovered the account, she started blowing me the fuck up, I’ll provide a blurred screenshot of all the things she said. But even when trying to talk about it rationally she just swore me and condemned me, telling me to commit suicide, etc. you get the gist.
I pretty much said go fuck yourself at that point.
Few months later,
I had a bit of a personal and very emotional event happen to me, and in the anguish I decided to text her because I just needed help in the moment. We established some sort of middle ground again, and it was actually kind of nice. I was reflecting on the previous events, and I knew she put some work into that account (graceful outfit) so I asked her if she wanted it back. She said she would appreciate it, so I changed the password and told her she can change the email to her own.
This is how the convo unfolded:
Her:“You took my fucking stuff?”
Me: “Yeah, it’s been months and this is my account. Aren’t you glad you’re even getting it back at all?”
“You’re a piece of shit give it back to me now”
“I mean I can give you some gold...I’m literally giving you an entire account to be yours and you’re really talking to me like this?”
“Lmao fuck off”
End of conversation.
I sent her a final goodbye message and I’m never letting her back in again, and I’m not even as spiteful as to recover the account again a second time, I care nothing for it. This bitch didn’t even wish my father a Merry Christmas when he provided her with a job to pay off her car. Even after informing her that my dad was sad she never told her Merry Christmas, to which she replied “I will” she never fucking did. I think I have a little more reason to be upset than she does over a stupid fucking video game.
Sorry for the very long post, I just don’t have very many friends anymore and I need some insight as this to me is literally the most childish thing I’ve ever heard of, but let me know your thoughts. I tried to hold back as much bias as I could... but hopefully you can see why there might be some.
Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
sWyOoxSJuhELeiQLe4TQHhroyuSBcuIm
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avg0t5
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{
"description": "ending a couple's relationship",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for ending a couple's relationship?
|
I keep trying to post the full story but despite how I've edited it down, apparently it STILL exceeds the 3000 character limit (even though the word count says under 3000.) So I'll summarise:
​
\- Two years ago I'm on a night out and after coming over and asking me for a lighter, this random girl starts basically chatting me up
\- Two years later and my band are playing a gig with who turns out to be her boyfriend's band, small world that it is, and she's there
\- After eyeballing each other for a bit trying to be sure if we actually recognise each other, this girl comes over to me to ask me if I once spoke to her outside a bar. Weird, we both remember each other
\- We're chatting for a bit, things are going well, then her boyfriend emerges, says he's getting a drink and she leaves me to goes with him
\- Later on her boyfriend makes a comment to me about how I'm apparently chatting her up. When I ask what he meant, he tells me that when he asked her what she was talking to me about earlier, she said I approached her! Why would she lie about me like that?
\- Also, I get word that the pair of them have been together nearly three years. So, she was with him that night and seemingly tried to cheat on him with me.
\- They met when she - surprise surprise - came up to him and asked him for a light on a night out!
\- At the end of the night I take the boyfriend aside, and explain everything to him. He seems absolutely gutted, and can't believe she'd do that to him
\- He goes back over to her and a massive argument ensues. He mentions how he's always had suspicions about her. She says that he doesn't care about her. She also accuses me of lying and trying to break them up.
\- Now, word has it that they're "on a break." He's living at a friends, she's moved back into her old flatmate's flat. And apparently it's come out that she cheats on him all the time.
​
I'd like to think I spoke to him because I was doing the right thing. Letting this dude know that his girlfriend is, at the very least, chatting up other guys, while clearing my own name which she tried to slander. But then I feel that part of me did it out of spite. Seeing this really beautiful girl, who I felt I should have been with, spend all night being all lovey dovey with her, admittedly, below average looking boyfriend who seems like a bit of an idiot. Maybe deep down I was just looking for an excuse to throw a spanner in the works.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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agsnkq
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{
"description": "wanting to take pictures of myself during sex and hanging mirrors in the bedroom",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For wanting to take pictures of myself during sex and hanging mirrors in the bedroom.
|
Recently I was involved in a disagreement with a woman I met on tinder for casual sex.
I enjoy taking pictures of myself with a high quality professional grade camera, while I am fucking a woman. The women are usually not in the shot or their faces are obscured so I have not heard many complaints before. I am the subject of the photos.
I also enjoy hanging mirrors in the bedroom so I can watch myself penetrate women. I do this for my own reasons. I take very good care of my body, performing routine daily exercise with a strict diet, coupled with my application of a variety of skin care lotions and face masks.
Before intercourse my tinder date verbally protested to both the mirrors and the camera when I asked, even though I explained that she would not be the subject of the photos.
She was very offended by me asking and we did not fuck.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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9uo8tt
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{
"description": "calling people on their bs in this sub",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for calling people on their BS in this sub?
|
There are alot of comments in this sub that are just out of line, rude, and disrespectful to people who come here to get a perspective of their own situations from a 3rd party. It when reading through comments here its just way over the top with the negative judgement to the point that a person may not learn anything from the situation presented but in turn get defensive because their character is being destroyed.
This is not to say that if someone is wrong to not let them know they are (even with some tough love at times) but saying they are the worst person is just alot. This is a place to learn from another perspective what you've done wrong and correct it not offer yourself up to the hangman.
No one is perfect. Not everyone is the same age, or has had the same upbringing, or same experiences in life. Some people just dont know.
That being said, people acting as if they are perfect or all knowing in the comments (in my opinion) should be called out themselves when being an asshole about someone's situation they've opened to the public. What do you all think?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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|
apicen
|
{
"description": "calling my sister a selfish piece of shit person",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for calling my sister a selfish piece of shit person?
|
For reference, me(19) and my sister(17 almost 18)live with my parents rent free, which is absolutely generous of them.
My sister hardly does anything to help around the house. She attends our local college. Me and both my parents work full-time. About 2-3 times a week, I'll cook dinner for the house. I do dishes, vacuum, clean the pet tanks, snoblow as often as I can when I'm home. My sister on the other hand will never in her life jump to help with anything that doesn't benefit her. She won't do the dishes because she "doesnt like doing them" and that is literally the only chore we ask of her, since we can never convince her to do any other thing.
Today, she needed me to drive her around to and from college, so since she had an hour before departure, I asked her to do the half sink of dishes, to such she replied LAUGHING "No, I'm gonna watch some videos before I leave" Things begin to get heated with me explaining she needs to help and that she does nothing. This is where I'm curious if I'm the asshole. She says "You don't even do anything, why should I?" So I snap, calling her a manipulative selfish piece of shit that wouldnt get off her ass to help anyone, screaming at her face almost to the point of tears.
Am I justified or was it too much? The anger of her being so lazy and the audacity of saying I do nothing just built up in me and I lost control.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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al9qw6
| null |
AITA in this fight with my roommate?
|
So I am 19/F, I live in the dorms at my university with two other girls, both my age. It’s a traditional style triple dorm so it’s just one big room we all share.
My one roommate, who I will call Michelle for the sake of this post, and I are best friends, we became best friends basically overnight. We joined the same sorority together, we eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together every single day, we go to every single event together, ect. It’s like we are attached at the hip, I love her to death.
At the beginning of the year we tried to include our third roommate, who I’ll call Hannah, but she brushed us off and didn’t really show any interest in being friends, which was fine. She was nice enough and polite, she was just kind of this other girl who we didn’t really know that well who lived in our dorm. She has a boyfriend who she spends all her time with, she doesn’t really seem to have any friends here at college outside of him.
The other day, Hannah left the room for like an hour and left her phone open on full brightness laying directly next to the door of the microwave. Open on the phone were a bunch of sexts between her and her boyfriend.
Hannah’s phone doesn’t automatically lock so there were just a bunch of sexts open right next to the microwave that I was using to make tea. I was uncomfortable so I locked her phone and then when Michelle came home later I mentioned it. She laughed, I wasn’t upset at all just slightly uncomfortable, and it was not a big deal.
While I was in class, Hannah asked Michelle why her cell phone was locked when she came back and Michelle did not want to lie so she told Hannah I had seen the sexts and locked the phone because I was uncomfortable.
I have a horrible cold at the moment and I was sleeping in today and trying to recuperate a little bit, and Hannah brought her boyfriend into the dorm, then told me I needed to get up so she and her boyfriend could “confront me” ( her exact words)
I was instantly incredibly annoyed and told her and her boyfriend that I would talk to them after I got dressed and stuff. They left the room and knocked on the door every 2 minutes to tell me to hurry up. I finish getting ready, open the door, and Hannah and her boyfriend come in.
They told me that I invaded their privacy by telling Michelle about the sexts and that they’re going to get an apartment and move Hannah out of the dorm asap because I apparently can’t be trusted.
I said that it was inappropriate for her to leave the sexts open directly next to the microwave we all share and I was well within my rights to lock the cell phone so I did not have to see it and I’m sorry that I told Michelle, but I was uncomfortable and that I wanted to tell my best friend. I had a counseling appointment I had to get to so I put my coat on and left and she very passively aggressively told me to have a nice day as I left the room.
She and I are completely ignoring each other’s existence currently and I feel like I have nothing to apologize for except for maybe telling Michelle, but I have already apologized for that.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
9x7bri
|
{
"description": "kicking a roommate I had out for doing weed in my basement",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for kicking a roommate I had out for doing weed in my basement?
|
About a month ago, I rented a house near my college campus with a couple of buddies from my dorm that I was close to. After we unpacked our stuff and got our bedrooms set up, one of my roommates, we will call him Jerry was saying he needed to go see a couple of his friends on campus for a party and he came back 3 hours later. Next morning, he is wide awake with 2 other people in the house at 6 AM. I call Jerry out on it and he said "they are here to chill just be cool" and I kept my temper down and decided to calm down. Well little did I know about an hour later I'm getting this lemony-earthy smell from my basement. I go to investigate and I found out that my roommate with the 2 other people he had over were smoking weed in my basement. I asked him what the fuck he was doing and explained to him that we could get evicted and possibly expelled. He told me to calm down and I said "Either you stop smoking dope or get the fuck out of this house." He said he wouldn't stop and I told him to pack his shit and leave even though nobody else wanted him to. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
apv6vo
|
{
"description": "being snarky to a person who made a sweeping negative generalisation about autistic people",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being snarky to a person who made a sweeping negative generalisation about autistic people (which I am)?
|
https://imgur.com/a/DTeEUoL
I hope I am allowed to post about something that happened on Reddit.
I didn't see anything that indicated otherwise.
Anyway, the screenshots speak for themselves. I think my reaction was warranted because they were actually disciminating against a group of people that I am a part of, but they were saying that I was 'personally attacking' them.
The third and last screenshot is of a conversation with another person but it shows that I was being downvoted while the people I thought were being really mean weren't, so I'm not sure if my judgment is correct.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
hyQjZGX8K3YWKXGnYXqGmGQiWWRwVh16
|
b2xw03
|
{
"description": "wanting a (mostly) childfree day on mothers day",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for wanting a (mostly) childfree day on mothers day?
|
My kids dad and I are separated and I am main carer during the week of our the kids. He has them for 24 hours once a week (Saturday night through to Sunday afternoon.) I love my kids dearly but single parenting is hard work, I also work 30 hours a week so enjoy my day off to get stuff done and have some time to myself.
March 31 is mothers day here in the UK and my ex asked me if I'd like to keep the kids that weekend. I haven't replied as I'm really not sure how I feel about it. I kind of want to say I still want my day off but get them to make me a card. I'm just not sure if that makes me an asshole.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
yhRrXfFRNQanfO4V0Ud2qLgieQi5OQUx
|
avtj46
| null |
AITA well this hasn’t happened yet but I want to ask b4 I make a fatal mistake
|
Ok so this person who is trans (girl to boy) comments on me calling me gay with malicious intent. I don’t want to start anything so I ignore them although I didn’t like it how they’d comment on me calling me gay with malicious content. Thoughts crossed my mind thinking should I retaliate? Should I comment about their being trans? I stopped myself. I would just tell a higher authority like a teacher (this is in high school) but that won’t stop it and they’ll just pick one me more for snitching and being too weak to say anything myself. What do I do? Comment back at them? Say something about their being trans? after all they went on at me about being gay. Or would I be the asshole in that scenario?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
SIBk4qX055V8T5JOTv9XG0BUcXS88I6T
|
a37bd4
|
{
"description": "giving away cookies with the note, \"I like to bake, but I don't want to get fat\"",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for giving away cookies with the note, "I like to bake, but I don't want to get fat"?
|
I live by myself in an apartment building. I was baking cookies earlier in the day, but I didn't want to tempt myself with 2 dozen cookies. So I put them in a Ziploc bag and taped them to my door with a note saying, "Please eat! I like to bake, but I really don't want to get fat." Later in the day I find a note from someone else on my door that says, "But you don't mind being judgmental? #LOSEHATENOTWEIGHT"
AITA for referencing how I don't want to gain weight by eating 2 dozen cookies?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
cdzGitba7PruF9TT4UOyD1Kj5MNkWYIr
|
b2iwgc
|
{
"description": "going into work sick, then leaving against my supervisors request",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for going into work sick, then leaving against my supervisors request?
|
I feel like this is a two part question.
I am a coordinator/ scheduler for a service based company. We have four divisions. I cover one, 'L' covers another, and our Boss 'C' covers two. We each have a supervisor for our department that we work closely with and act a bit like their secretary. So we technically have two bosses.
Us three coordinators do a pretty good job of covering for each other.
I woke up today feeling sick. I was shivering but sweating, with muscle aches. I would have called out sick. However, 'C' has been out on vacation for a week and comes back tomorrow. Monday mornings are crucial because it's when we all send out calls and go over what came in over the weekend. I did not want to just throw 'L' to the wolves so I went in. I told everyone to not get close to me. I covered my mouth when speaking. I told everyone I was just in for an hour so I could get everything lined up in a way 'L' could easily take over. Everyone told me to stay the hell away, thanks for being a trooper, but go home asap.
I called my supervisor and told him my plans. He asked me to tough it out and stay until noon.
I was pretty upset and mentioned it to 'L' that I would be staying because my boss didn't think she could cover all the divisions, even though we have all done it before.
About thirty minutes later she came in and said "Please go home, just tell me what you need me to do." I called my supervisor on the way home to let him know.
Now he's upset because he asked me to stay and 'L' doesn't have the authority to send me home.
I already felt like an asshole for showing up sick, even if briefly. Now I feel like I shouldn't have showed up at all.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
wJUlVlLc5gnO0rba9tiARxWqdQ1EslEO
|
auvfzb
|
{
"description": "suggesting someone gilded their own post",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for suggesting someone gilded their own post?
|
So today I saw a post in Overwatch University after about an hour had its upvote/downvote counter still hidden, had zero comments, and reddit gold. I was surprised to see that the post with seemingly no public response at the time of viewing had already gotten gold. So I in jest posted the first comment on the post asking "did you gild yourself lul". After about an hour I came back to see the post had spiked a little in popularity but my comment had struck a nerve with OP. My comment had been downvoted into oblivion and OP had replied to me saying how hard they worked on it, how fucking awful the assertion would be if i was wrong, that its pretty scummy to pull shit like that and how I should keep my "witchhunty" comments to myself. I saw the error in my ways and apologized stating that personally did see anything wrong with self advertising via gilding the post especially with an informative guide and that I thought I was finally viewing the phenomenon first hand. I felt bad and was trying to make it clear that I wasn't trying to discredit OP merely attempting to point out something that I initially felt was obvious. OP then again responded saying that they appreciated the apology but that comments had damaged their reputation and that my downvoted comment has been hidden mitigating the damage. However I later noticed that something people shared my view in that OP did nothing wrong if they gilded their own post, but those comments were also downvoted even though they were in support of OP regardless of the situation. Overall I feel bad for hijacking their post, but i feel a little brigaded in my attempts to soothe and remedy any hurt feelings. So i guess again AITA for thinking that gilding one's own post isn't all that bad and suggesting someone did that after seeing a post with seemingly no exposure.
And if any one wants to see the post I can make an edit, but I don't know if thats against the rules, and I certainly don't want to counter brigade or make any more trouble/drama.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
FnkRohqaF55jG5HTBQ0LMg7qYYa4a7qf
|
azbppt
|
{
"description": "not wanting a free car",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting a free car?
|
Background: I'm a 25 year old dude with a dead end job and living with my parents and going to trade school
A few years ago my parents gave me a loan to buy a car, which I've already paid back. Despite that, they still try to limit when I'm allowed to drive it, and are very controlling about other aspects of my life, particularly what i do with friends and where I am allowed to go with my car.
Recently, they said that they would give me a nearly new nissan rogue, but with a catch: I can't resell it until it completely breaks down.
Given the (relatively low) miles on the car, that could be a 10-15 year commitment, and I dont want my parents to have total control over where I go, what I do, or what I drive for the next 10-15 years,
Am I an asshole? because I feel like an ungrateful, spoiled piece of shit.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 23,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
T3HQCHFAlquvFTotnU3jQUcI3my5HGuE
|
b5gpmv
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend after she told me she has been HIV positive",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For breaking up with my girlfriend after she told me she has been HIV positive?
|
I (26) found out two days ago that my now ex girlfriend (21) was HIV positive. We had been together for almost 8 months and I never used protection with her. When she disclosed her status to me she said it was “ undetectable” with the medicine she was taking so that my chances of being infected were zero/none. Right after she told me I went to get tested and thankfully everything came back negative. I feel so bad for leaving her because she was born with the disease so it’s not her fault she has it. When we started seeing each other she started making an effort to take her HIV medication on a regular basis, workout, eat healthy, and even decided to go back to school I...As someone who still loves her, I want her to continue doing all of those things even without me in her life. Am I the asshole for leaving her are causing her to fall back into an unhealthy lifestyle?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
qeCfQpYiDPpyC5nruJF3QOPGFkBWas50
|
as1ci6
|
{
"description": "freaking out my friends in a forest",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for freaking out my friends in a forest
|
I just wanna know because I'm feeling pretty bad about it. Names were altered for privacy.
Last night me and 4 squad members were coming home from a road trip. We're all 17, having fun and staying clean. We had scouted an isolated nature reserve hike on the way there, and figured we'd climb it on the way back. It was a tad cold (we live in a very warm place). The drive was at a high altitude, so the air was thin.
Once we had gotten to the hike, we discovered it was pretty steep. We had finished the hike up in about 10 minutes. My friend, Daniel, was having a bit of trouble with the thin air. He said he was alright so we continued. One of us mentioned that we should make sure to not split up.
The top of the hike was cold, and not particularly interesting. We had spotted a wide path downwards into a spooky forest. Before we even realized, our friend John was running down the path, probably as a joke. I ran after him, and we kept running. We probably wouldn't have run as far if I wasn't chasing him.
Once I had caught up to him, we thought it would be funny to hide and scare our boys. We started climbing back up the path cutting through trees rather than the designated path. Our friends knew we were hiding, and had discovered our location relatively quickly. We were about 50 feet away, hiding behind trees in the forest. John got a call from one of them, calling him some bad names, but I didn't hear most of it.
Once we had found our way back to the top of the hike, we sat down to take a breath. We heard them on their way back up. We played a song out loud, hoping they would locate us at the top (it was very dark).
Once they had found us, Daniel fell down onto his knees and started hyperventilating for several minutes. We were all comforting him, and the other two were angry at me and John. I didn't realize it at the time, but they were pissed. Me and John thought it was in good fun.
Thin atmosphere and exercise is not a good combination. What I didn't know at the time is that Daniel is an incredibly superstitious person. I found this out several hours later. While me and Josh were hiding, Daniel was freaking out. The forest was scary, and he didn't wanna split from his friends. Since there were three of them, any sort of split to avoid going into the forest would mean someone was alone. So they all went together.
As Daniels hyperventilating slowed down, me and John were feeling awful. We made our way down, comforting Daniel as much as we could. We returned to the car, and everyone was able to calm down. John was beating himself up over it. He said he would just call an uber, but we obviously wouldn't let him; we were 40 miles away from civilization, it was night time, and it was cold.
There were no hard feelings after it all; we went to Daniel's house and played some Jackbox. Me and John still feel bad about it. It makes me wonder, am I the asshole? And while you're at it, is John the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
QIAiOnfMaz5PHuXf5NZJC0dKkJ8vEZxt
|
b91pru
|
{
"description": "scolding the entire class",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for scolding the entire class?
|
Throaway, cellphone, not my first language, the whole shebang.
Anyway, I teach seniors in High School, more specifically I teach literature. This school is kinda different because all classes are in French and the students follow the French programs but it's not in a French speaking country.
Anyway, they recently did a mock version of the final exam. A couple of them did good enough and the rest were disastrous, their style was awful and most of the time it looked like an alien language, because they mix French with other languages (English and their mother tongue). Keep in mind, this particular group of students is specially focused in literature.
Anyway, so of course I started scolding them, since most of them want to study in France I told them that the French students would eat them alive and that I couldn't understand how some of them were applying to prestigious schools or to study Literature.
Then I saw one of my students look stricken. She's one of the few who did well in the exam and also one of the few who intends to study Literature. At the moment I didn't think much of it, but a few minutes after I let them go home I saw her crying.
I'm not sure wether she was crying because of me but I wonder, AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
qZGtAvYgBBUfffEc9sh0eaQalg4Vjptf
|
b1vqbh
|
{
"description": "asking my friend why he didn't shoot back in a video game we were playing together",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my friend why he didn't shoot back in a video game we were playing together?
|
So I was downed, there was an enemy that was right over me using me as bait to bring my friend out, and it was in plain sight with no cover. My friend ran out of the building, towards me, the enemy, and his teammate, didn't shoot, didn't have his weapon out, and the whole thing lasted about 10 seconds with him not attacking back at all and just running towards me (and the enemy.) Game is TABG. I don't know why he gets so frustrated and says "IT'S FINE SHUT UP LEAVE IT AT THAT" when I literally just ask him what happened and why he didn't shoot back. I'm not even over exaggerating to make it look like I'm right, that's literally exactly what happened. Sorry for listening to my rant, but I just want to know what other people think.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0HupTNWylpTvKUGQRW9LGjGxTumCKicF
|
ay7jco
|
{
"description": "filing a complaint against a state government employee with the Office of the Ombudsman before trying to resolve the issue directly with the agency or worker involved first",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA If I filed a complaint against a state government employee with the Office of the Ombudsman before trying to resolve the issue directly with the agency or worker involved first?
|
So the other day I had to get a certified copy of some personal documents. After waiting in line for half an hour or so it was my turn to go up to the window. I had a few questions but before I could get a single word out the lady behind the counter demanded for my ID. I attempted to ask some questions but she kept talking over me. In addition after that I tried to pay for the copy fees with my credit card and the lady snapped at me and said NO I cant take this payment this line is cash only.
At this point I got angry and snapped at her and said "That is ridiculous. The sign says cash taken right over there." Immediately after the lady behind the counter acted as as if I snapped at her for no reason and implied I should giver her a apology (I did not I walked off with out saying another word to her after she gave my back my ID). Anyways I was able to find the right line and pay for and receive my documents at the end of the day so nothing too bad came of the whole incident.
As a side note I noticed that the lady who I had trouble with was pretty impatient and snappy with other people in line as well. I heard her snap at another person in line "I am the one who is asking the questions here not you" And she had a whole other patience issue with some people who had trouble speaking fluent English.
Now as a cashier at a restaurant I had my share of bad days and people to deal with and maybe the lady I had a problem with had something happen I did not get to see. But at the same time I expect better service especially since I know exactly what it is like to work behind a counter and work and deal with other people. And furthermore if I did half of what the lady did I would definitely have revived a talking too from my manager about providing better service and being more patient with people.
So would I be an asshole if I filed a complaint against the worker and the government office in question and would I be a less of a asshole if I tried to resolve the issue with the office directly instead of getting higher powers involved?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
LLVBtyEgfM9TRC98VWzGL4ByYoq42fls
|
a2ac26
|
{
"description": "not helping my classmate out on this group presentation 4 minutes before class started",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I didn’t help my classmate out on this group presentation 4 minutes before class started?
|
Alright so we are doing this group project right? So we have to all do these interviews and stuff and put it in a PowerPoint slide. We send the PowerPoint slide out and we all put our stuff in the PowerPoint except for one classmate.. whatever, she’ll put it in eventually
Fast forward the next day, and we have our group presentation. We all have our slides in the PowerPoint done, except for her. Well it’s college, it’s big boy time, you do it. Our professor is different and different people get different grades on the group project. (So we weren’t worried)
She texts the group chat at 10:56 am (4 minutes before class starts) and tells us she can’t figure out how to get on the PowerPoint, and it won’t let her put in the slides. Our group ignores her because class was about to start, and we were presenting first.
AITA for not helping her right before class started? Mind you she never helped with anything.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ryz78rcxV1J7IPMk8wSkwCu6aMY37Jyj
|
ay03j5
|
{
"description": "telling my GF I will leave her if she gets pregnant",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 57
}
|
AITA for telling my GF I will leave her if she gets pregnant?
|
So please don't judge me instantly. Also, she is not pregnant.
Anyway, me and my GF were sitting talking about shit and the topic of pregnancy comes up. She doesn't really *want* to have kids anytime soon, but she said that she wouldn't abort/give away a kid if she had one. I made a joke about her "not giving the baby away on her own then", and she got pretty upset. After some pushing I got annoyed and told her flat out that if she ever gets pregnant, birth control or not, I'm leaving her.
I love her, but I can't stand children, never have, probably never will, and I would never let a kid ruin my life, or at least fuck me financially. She's really upset, saying that I'm not loyal and that I have a shitty view on women and responsibilities, but I just told her the truth. The moment she says she's pregnant, I would be out of there.
Sad but true. But am I the asshole here?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 56,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 57
}
|
WRONG
|
lScMxsg0wFoquh7tWtcv2UbeH3bzwdAN
|
acb7ld
|
{
"description": "unfollowing my friend on Instagram",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for unfollowing my friend on Instagram?
|
A little backstory. I struggle with mental illness and trauma and have tons of triggers that I’m currently working on getting over but it’s exhausting to see them all the time. When I see them I usually just scroll past or block the post
Now onto the conflict.
One of my good friends constantly posted triggering content on Instagram, including sexual posts even though she’s 15 and things about gore and wounds. I expressed my discomfort with what she was posting and said that I was going to unfollow because i couldn’t deal with seeing that all the time, and i also suggested that she set her account to private if she’s going to post sexual content or stop posting it all together because she’s a minor. She instantly blocked me on almost every platform and got my other friend to block me and side with her. I lost 2 friends of multiple years because I unfollowed one of them. AITA? Should I have tried harder to work past the triggering stuff rather than unfollow?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GcEZAtEadlNuiaArSLrZbppBhehDnef9
|
a2vrae
|
{
"description": "purposely showing private messages after a friend acts like a jerk",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For purposely showing private messages after a friend acts like a jerk?
|
Quick background, I'm part of a large group of friends who get together on occasions, mostly via Facebook events. We all have our quirks, but there's this one guy I'll randomly call "Freud" just for so... EVERYONE'S got something negative to say about Freud, mostly that he's CONSTANTLY making two or three events a month, excessively goes into details about what time we'll start one thing and then start another, and plans these things POORLY because they tend to fall apart halfway through. When someone makes a suggestion or plans another thing that's on or near the same day, he has a freak attack and demands they reschedule, or if he can't make THEIR event, that they should reschedule to accomodate HIM. If you decline his event, he demands to know why you can't make it, and tries to barter with you to come anyway....
​
So this holiday, he wanted to host a Christmas gathering, starting at dinner at some resturant, then to someone's home for gift polyannas and games. Why he won't host it at his own place, I don't know.... But after going through a line of people, he asked my husband and I if we could have the after-party at our apartment.
​
Mind you, our apartment is pretty small and can't hold more than 12 people comfortably for a party. And we definetely let Freud know this. He says we're his "last hope" and begs us to hold his event there. I tell him as long as no more than 12 people (including me, Freud, and my husband) are coming, he can have it at our place. Any more, however, he has to find another venue. He agrees to this.
​
Well, low and behold, almost 20 people wanted to come to the after party... I inform Freud, via Facebook DM, this is too many people, you may need to resort to a background venue." He begs me to let all these people come anyway. I tell him, "No, I TOLD you no more than 12. You have 19 people. You can't have it at our place."
​
He goes on and on, trying to convince me that he's SURE there's enough room at our apartment to host everyone... I assure you, there ISN'T. Our apartment isn't TINY tiny, but there's no way we could comfortably accommodate 19 people for a party without sticking them in BOTH bedrooms and the bathroom as well... It was NOT going to work, and I spent nearly 20 minutes trying to convince him of this.
​
He wasn't having it. He demanded my husband and I be lenient and have this event there because he had nowhere else to do it. I told him, "It's not my fault you failed to make a Plan-B."
​
FRUED: "You WERE my plan B!!!"
​
ME: "Then Plan-C! Go to Plan Z if you must!"
​
So instead of finding a way to make HIS party work out, he goes on to blame me for "cancelling the Christmas party" if Hub and I don't let him host it at our apartment. I've had enough and block him, but made sure to screenshot our convos JUST incase....
​
He cancels the entire thing, saying on the Facebook event, "Sorry but \[OP\] and \[husband\] are being unreasonable and won't let me use their place anymore." Furthermore, he went on to make another group chat with our other friends to complain how horrible my husband and I are for "screwing him over." I know of this because one of my friends showed me the conversation she was sent.....
​
I had enough.... So I gathered all the screenshotted pics of every convo we had, took some time to black out his name (didn't want to humiliate him TOO badly) and posted our chats on ny Facebook page publicly, so even those who weren't my FB friends could see them.
​
Those in our group of friends knew exactly who I was talking about... But those who didn't know him couldn't help but agree with how much of a douche he was acting like. Freud finds out about this, of course, and chews me out via text, saying how I publicly humiliated him and that I was only giving everyone HALF the story... Mind you, I posted our ACTUAL conversations, and edited nothing except his name. He demanded I take them down, but I refused and said, "Maybe you should use this as a learning experience on how NOT to act."
​
He goes off the grid later. No one's heard from him for over a day now...
​
None of my friends are angry with me and agree he was being a total jerk, but a few did say I went too far and I should apologize for what I did. I REALLY don't want to apologize... but I can't help but wonder if I was an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
8xrygqkfrpBAigzEIsqcJelOeqIigHjC
|
b7oja1
|
{
"description": "being unsupportive of and angry at my brother for quitting his job",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being unsupportive of and angry at my brother for quitting his job?
|
My brother is 30. Only late last year did he find his first job (a temp physical job). Our parents coddled him due to his Autism. He is perfectly capable of holding a job, he just didn’t see the need to be self-sufficient and he said that himself. He has a good degree. He also dragged his feet for a year while living with me and didn’t do the required steps to get a job until he was forced to leave. This year he finally got a job in his field as an entry level position as a temp to hire. The probationary period ended and he turned down continued employment. He now wants to go find a tech job in a rural area and live in a tiny house and bike to work. He does not have anything lined up and expects to get a job in the next month. This is despite being a horrible person to interview. He has responded to the question “why haven’t you worked before now “ with “I am not very self-motivated” and similar other responses. He is smart and a good worker, but has the grace of a brick wall when it comes to promoting himself. He was getting better with social skills and learning a lot at that job and he left it because he didn’t like it. Now my parents are going to pay for his living expenses again when he is a grown man. I’m so mad at him and told him “what the hell?” and now he is angry at me for judging him and not supporting his decision. So AITA for being unsupportive?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
qTEbnVyWIFq7UE9gXNerqKDDKyb9Kxik
|
9txyqa
|
{
"description": "saying Id hit a woman back",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for saying id hit a woman back
|
WIBTA in thus situation? So about a week or so ago i was at a party pretty drunk. Not saying i was drunk to avoid blame. Take responsibility for your actions drunk or sober. But anyway back to the original topic. I got into an argument with a female because she had put words in my mouth telling people i said something i didnt auctually say. The arguement got pretty heated to the point where she said she was gonna hit me. I told her if she hits me i would hit her back. My exact words being"hit me like a man im gonna hit you like a man would hit a man".
Its my thought process in that yes its controversial but not unexceptable. To me it plays out as gender equality. You cant have all the benifits of gender equality with out the negative sides of it.
So main question of this is AITA for all this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
1QlQv3WRvqEj5w6eenKDNVQj01ytqbkN
|
afntto
|
{
"description": "arguing that Bluetooth Headphones are safe",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for arguing that Bluetooth Headphones are safe?
|
So I'm getting an IPhone (since I'm planning on developing for IOS) next week and of course there's no headphone jack, so I'd like to purchase some bluetooth headphones so I can charge my phone and listen to music simultaneously.
My parents are completely against purchasing bluetooth headphones because they "emit radiation". And they think I'm gonna get a brain tumor if I wear them. However, brain tumor radiation is *non-ionizing* so it can't do any damage to cells, and they emit less radiation than cell phones do anyway. In other words it's harmless.
My parents claim that Bluetooth Headphones are "like smoking and they might find out they're dangerous in the future" so I can't purchase them (with my own money). I argued that since there's no mechanism in which the headphones could possibly cause harm there's no reason I shouldn't be able to buy them.
I agreed not to purchase the headphones last night (their house their rules) but just wondering whether they're being irrational, or I'm just an idiot.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
gOjE6DGeGg6bZUMcPQamrhg0yRjYqgL5
|
a6rfmj
|
{
"description": "being quiet at a party",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being quiet at a party?
|
First off, I'm a 30 year old woman and I have social anxiety. I didn't take my Klonopin that night because I assumed I'd be okay. I was wrong, very wrong. My friend was throwing a party and invited me. They were the only person I knew at the party and they did not interact with me much. They hire "atmosphere models" that are paid to entertain guests. There's maybe 4 regular people at the party, 2 coordinators, and 8 models.
When I arrived, I was panicking and went to the room where everyone was. I quickly asked if my friend was there and when they said no, I left to go wait in my room. The coordinator of the party came down to let me know my friend arrived and I can come up now. I did a bee-line straight to my friend and nervously talked to him. All the other "models" were congregating near the bar. I talked to my friend for a short while and then asked the bartender for a drink because of my nerves. Looking back, I wish my friend or coordinator had introduced me. It didn't cross my mind to introduce myself to a large group of girls I don't know since they didn't introduce themselves either! I figured they were deep in a conversation anyway. After I got my drink, I sat down at a table nearby and thankfully, the party coordinator sat down with me and talked for a couple minutes. After the coordinator left, I was there at the table by myself. None of the models said hello.
They said dinner was ready, so I went to the dining table and sat next to my friend. I was extremely cold and was actually shivering. I was extremely nervous and was having a panic attack. I tried to keep my cool (no pun intended) and two of the "models" seated in front of me were clearly making fun of me multiple times throughout the dinner. They were poking each other and pointing at me while making a judging face, as if I couldn't see them. During the middle of dinner, I told my friend I was going to head downstairs to try and warm up. Still, no conversations with any of the girls at that point.
After I tried to calm down, I went back upstairs and dinner was over. We moved the party to a lounge area and the models sang karaoke. I sat on the couch in an area myself. No one is talking to me, so I'm diddling with my phone the whole time.
This was a long party. Eventually, one highly drunk model comes over and says hello. She is extremely friendly. I am fine at that point in terms of having a panic attack and being cold. She said multiple times to me that she was surprised at how sweet and kind I was. I was thinking.. Yeah, you guys just spend your night making fun of a sweet girl, so I hope you feel good about yourself!! I told her that I was aware the other girls were saying mean things about me and the drunk girl I was talking to acknowledged it happened and felt bad.
I offer the drunk girl some toiletry items since she forgot them and we go to my room. We cross paths with the girlfriend of the party coordinator. I had been to multiple parties and she and I never had a conversation. I never really saw her at the parties either. She starts the conversation by saying, "I thought you were a bitch." I laugh to myself and ask her to enlighten me. She said, "I was working at the club at a party [back in July] and offered you a drink. You said no." I said, "What? I don't recall that situation. Plus, I'm not a bitch for saying no. Are you joking?" She said, "Well, your body language was bitchy." I said, "I have social anxiety. You can't read my body language like everyone else. Plus, body language can be based on assumptions." I'm standing there dumbfounded that she had been harboring that resentment over me simply saying no! I would not be surprised if she repeated that story and tone whenever a model asked about me. She said, "Oh, I have social anxiety, too! I drink to hide it." She said, "I think you have a little ~spice~ in you. [AKA: You're a bitch." I said, "Hmmm I don't think so."
I go back upstairs with the friendly drunk girl from before and she gets a guy from the party to talk to us. We are all friendly now and I'm sure the other models can see.
The friendly drunk girl wants us to go to the bar and all the other models are there. None of them introduce themselves or acknowledge me, but I'm really just talking to the coordinator, the guy, and the drunk girl. One girl randomly acknowledges me by saying my dress looks nice. I say, "Thanks." Nothing else the whole night.
I felt like I was back in a mean girl high school situation. Was I wrong for not introducing myself when I am not an atmosphere model? I do not party or socialize for a living. They knew I was not from an agency, nor was I being paid to socialize like they were. I feel like since they were hired, they should have gone out of their way to socialize with me! Am I an asshole for expecting that? I'm aware my social skills are poor due to social anxiety, but I'm not a monster - barely anyone came up to talk to me and when they did, we had a friendly conversation to the point where they said I was "so sweet." It didn't help that the other models made it very clear they were not fond of me and were making fun of me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
m9TgjYXrxkYTppQKuNqOXgc8PpsYp6xH
|
axtp5q
|
{
"description": "hijacking my Xbox from my roommate after he rage quit and turned off my Xbox and walked away",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For hijacking My Xbox from my roommate after he rage quit and turned off my Xbox and walked away?
|
So my roommate and I share a lot of stuff. All my living room furniture (TV, Xbox, coffee table, gaming chair, games, and controllers) and I use his kitchen stuff (Pots, pans cutlery and plates). We both just got done work and he started playing Apex Legends, whatever I browse Reddit and do some other stuff, he then freaks out turns off everything and storms off.
He comes back for a second, turns everything back on and walks away again, I grab the controller and put some YT on, he then gets upset, "What'd you do that for I was watching that?"
I said "You took off I wanted to watch YT"
"I was coming back, I just went to the bathroom" He said
"You turned everything off, you were done?"
He gets in a bit of a huff and then takes off to the gym
Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ySUFD3SkTEzHmthTiiRL9S1OT0VUGzs7
|
aeer8u
|
{
"description": "getting upset with my close friends for not listening to my request of them not saying suicide jokes",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset with my close friends for not listening to my request of them not saying suicide jokes
|
the title says it all, literally. I'm typically not a sensitive snowflake but having almost killed myself before those jokes hit a nerve, hard. I haven't, and won't, tell them because I don't want attention or them constantly worrying. I, nicely and seriously, tell them "please don't make those types of jokes". They just kinda all look at eachother awkwardly and laugh. And it get it, it's uncomfortable to have that said but what bothers me is that they continue.
So reddit, am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
gBiF3JJxypucGgwvy2yref4g8HuINbQ1
|
a1on8y
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on a missions trip as a graduation gift",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go on a missions trip as a graduation gift?
|
My family (grandparents, cousins, aunt and uncle, parents, and brothers) were at Sunday lunch and my grandparents asked if I wanted to go on a missions trip with my church as a graduation present. I said I’d rather not. My mother and grandma got all huffy and fussy because I don’t want to do that. It is worth mentioning that I just act like I believe in god for my own self preservation, being 17M and living with my mother and dad and all. Am I the asshole for not wanting to go on a church trip as a high school grad gift?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 23,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
NKCQQZarkOCmWbOE6OxM86Huy4GNyUYk
|
ar3ewu
|
{
"description": "not answering phone calls",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not answering phone calls?
|
So I (19M) have moved to a new country for university and have been here for the past two years. For context, Ive had a series of rough patches with my dad and his wife over this period of time, this has some created some anxiety within my dad's side of the family (my grandmother and his siblings. I usually get calls on a weekly basis from them interrogating me on my relationship with my father, on my job, and work.
Frankly I do understand that they are worried about me, but if i decide to not answer a call from one of them, i usually get a barrage of texts from the other family members judging me for not replying telling me its rude and inconsiderate. I however feel that just because we live in a day and age where international calls can be made cheap and I carry my phone wherever i go, that does not oblige me to answer if i dont feel like it. I dont answer anyones calls if im not in the mood, and i dont see why it should be different for my family.
So am i the asshole for not picking up?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
4ppP4Lb6Lf5Hgi8dJAlyqawsIJOoSzQd
|
asy2ky
|
{
"description": "taking my board game back",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for taking my board game back?
|
At a board game social. Brought several board games. It’s a weekly social group so we are all pretty friendly with each other. We are playing Imhotep (a game), and another member of the social group came and took Sushi Go (another game) out of my bag, letting me know she and her friends were really excited to play it.
Thing is, I was planning on playing it next. I hesitated. But I had literally bought the game the night before and was excited about busting it out. Even though Imhotep was going to last 20 or 30 more minutes I went over and asked for it back, after she had started explaining the game to her friends.
She wasn’t mean about it but I feel like an asshole. Should I have waited for them to play before taking it back?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
qaRlYj7lemMlDK8OsKgZc64REVijbSQu
|
a74i2x
|
{
"description": "being annoyed with white elephant parties",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for being annoyed with white elephant parties?
|
Some additional explanation;
I am a parent to a 14 year old who is involved in a couple extracurricular activities. Each of these activities decided to have white elephant parties this year. Dollar limit for one of them $15- $20; the other $20. My daughter only told me about this yesterday so of course I’m a little annoyed already because this mean I am actually the one buying the stuff (paying); which as I’m sure most of the rest of you, I’m hit up this time of year for $20 every time I step into a room.
Anyhow, we come up with two different gifts for these two parties and one gift was right at $20 and the other was $17-$18. She has just returned from the first party which was held after school today and what she got in return for her $18/ gift? A $5 blanket (literally tag was on) and a pair of fuzzy socks from the dollar store. In other words- $6.
So l am annoyed. She wants to know why bc she picked these gifts since it was white elephant. I told her I am not annoyed that she got what she wanted and she is happy with it, I am annoyed that someone the $15-$20 gift limited somehow became under $10. Truth told I’d much rather have spent $10! But when I am given a limit I feel obligated to make sure that is what I spend.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
ATT4usecp803cAfCtTNXaZZ5RhjRM5bt
|
b73q1y
|
{
"description": "asking my mom why she took 2000€ from my account and getting kicked from home for that",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my mom why she took 2000€ from my account and getting kicked from home for that?
|
Throwaway as this is still happening.
To give context, my parents, as they had done with my brother, made a bank account when I was born and put my savings into it. This included random money I got from family, and a monthly allowance the government gives parents for, well, being parents. Parents have no obligation to give this money to their children, but my parents do it because they want to. The account has me as the main holder and my mother as the legal representative. The spoken deal is that I'll be free to use the money from this account once I graduate from college. My parents are also divorced.
Recently, I turned 18. I have another bank account which I use daily, from the same branch. Yesterday, I had to go to the bank to sign some papers to get everything sorted. When getting account access, aside from getting access to my day to day account, I also got access to that savings account, since they're from the same bank. There, I noticed that there were a lot of movements, way more than the supposed monthly deposit.
As it seemed to me, my mother was borrowing money from my account and then depositing it again. But on one of the movements, 2000€ were taken and they were never put back. I found that odd, but I didn't know how much money I had there before as records only went back 12 months. I still found it strange though, and consulted with my father.
Well as it seems, this wasn't normal at all, she never asked for my permission or even mentioned a thing to me or to my father. After confirming this wasn't normal, I decided to confront my mother.
When I got home, I showed my mother the bank transactions and asked her to explain what was going on. She started screaming at me, asking me how I got access to that, saying that I betrayed her and went to speak with my father before speaking with her, and that she didn't have the obligation to put the money in that account. I told her that I simply didn't like that she took the money without asking me, since I had no problem with borrowing the money. She was having none of it, she kept screaming at me and insisting I acted wrongly and should have spoken with her first.
She also said that first thing on Monday she was getting a loan and giving me the 2000€ back, but that wasn't the issue for me and IMO she blew everything completely out of proportion. Also, she said that she didn't want me living with her anymore, and that my father did something similar with my brother's account. She told me to go live with my father, and asked me to pretend that she doesn't exist anymore. That includes meals.
I believe I handled everything maturely, I simply went to my father first because I didn't want to accuse my mother of anything unnecessarily. When I approached her I did so calmly but she instantly turned it around on me. I barely spoke, she just screamed at me the whole time and didn't want to hear me. She didn't apologize at all and showed no regret.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
PDO2AlQa6rGgdLJYt1Jt1aRiumkPDoMW
|
apkoq6
|
{
"description": "telling my historically unfaithful girlfriend to sleep in our bed every night or I'd prefer to break up",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for telling my historically unfaithful girlfriend to sleep in our bed every night or I'd prefer to break up?
|
I'm kind of afraid to ask this. Reddit can be unreasonably harsh. But fuck it.
My girlfriend is younger than I am by 18 years, so I accept that she's either less mature than I, and in many cases downright immature. She's difficult and stubborn and demanding all while being, at times, cruel and cold. On the other hand, she's also funny and loving and bubbly and giving to my children, thoughtful to those who I care about and affectionate. The sex is amazing, and she's adventurous. We do things that most of my friends envy when it comes up in conversation. All this is to say that, like every one, she has her positives and negatives. Far more positives in my eyes.
​
Over the last year, she cheated on my several times (admitted to only one). I broke up with her for 3 months during which she low-key stalked me, mostly just to remind me that she's still thinking about me. I held strong, however, until a moment of weakness and loneliness caused me to reply to her 1,000,000th text message from the 1,000,000th phone number she generated to bypass the blocks I put on her.
While broken up, I had been talking to an old friend who I had always had feelings for. We talked and talked and realized we wanted to make a go of it. To compare the two on the most basic of levels, as we all do when forced to choose, I say that they are equally as beautiful, each have their own personality flaws and charms that attract me intensely and just by being them, offer some things that are very important to me. A difficult choice, and I didn't want to be in the position to choose.
But I WAS in that position, and I had to make the choice. At first I chose the old friend. The scales weighted in her favor because she knows how to apologize and accept responsibility for the things she should, unlike my current girlfriend. In fact, the only time I can recall her apologizing, it was for minor things and only when she was fully aware I was trying to make a choice that might involve her being set aside for something more trustworthy. I digress - I chose the old friend, and told my ex that she needed to stay away, stop stalking, as I was spending the weekend with the old friend.
That made the ex lose it. She suddenly became every single thing I wanted her to be. She was thoughtful and kind and didn't offend with sideways comments, followed the basic guidelines for any respectful and mutually beneficial relationship and made me feel like I always wanted. I didn't fall for it right away. I still went through with the weekend with my old friend. That went really well, and she professed her love for me, both in the past and currently.
However - my ex was there on Monday being the best person she can be - and when she's trying and cares - I have never experienced such bliss. I was elated that the woman I wanted was being the woman I needed. I still said no. I told her I couldn't because of the trust. She promised she would move in and show me she can be trusted.
So, whether it was/is a mistake or not, I decided to take a break from the old friend, step back and slow things down with her. Thankfully my old friend thought that was okay, and I had a conversation with the Ex about expectations and how we would build trust again.
I made it clear to the Ex that if we were going to do this, she needs to understand that I desperately want to, but can't/don't trust her, and it will take some time and experience with her to get that feeling again. The love and lust and passion was all still there, and even brighter than before, and she said she understood (although she STILL hasn't apologized for cheating specifically), and made some simple promises. 1) She would move back in. 2) She would stop talking about her exes and their sexual exploits in daily anecdotes. (I swear this girl could find a way to weave in any sexual story you could imagine into any conversation, no matter how irrelevant.) When I call her on it, remind her that it's not polite and makes me uncomfortable, she makes it seem like I'm somehow a pussy for caring or makes a comment about me saying my ex-wife's name - despite her being an actual part of my life and being required to talk to her daily about my kids. and 3) she would sleep at home, not end up at a party and crash - that's how she cheated in the single time she'll admit to - "I was drunk and mad and I regretted it when I woke".
Okay - that's the long history. So a couple weeks ago, she told me she had plans to sleep at her grandmother's. I was concerned... greatly. This is new behaviour, her grandmother lives 10 minutes away from me, and what 23 year old has a sleepover with her grandparents on a friday night. But I agreed to it, and she, of her own volition, sent me pictures and videos all night long and the next morning to prove to me she was where she said she was.
Let me just say this - I told her that I will not control her actions. I cannot. I don't want to. But I do get to make decisions about what I will do based on her actions. Essentially, I said that if she opts to ignore my concerns and insecurities caused by her infidelity, or if I suspect she's cheating again, I won't be a sucker again. I would just move on. And most likely with the Old Friend. I don't want to see any comments about me being controlling.
Fast forward to this morning. I agreed to three-way sex with her younger-still girlfriend whom she seems to have affection toward. She's begged me for months to agree to bring a second woman in the bed and when I conceded it was to make her happy. I'm concerned that they're having their own relationship in tandem with ours, but I figured caving in to her desires came with fringe benefits and it would keep her happy and focused on our relationship.
This morning she said she was staying at her parents house so she could be up and ready for a court appearance at 8am. She said it's easier for her to get up and shower and be ready to go with her dad to court.
Except that the first 2 weeks, when it was super important she get my attention, she got up every morning and showered here and got to work for 8. She has to be at court by 8:30. 1/2 hour closer than her work. She says it's to spend time with her parents - except she gets home at 9:30, and they are all in bed by then. Especially on Monday. She says it's so she can sleep better. Except she sleeps like a baby here if she's not been drinking all night.
I told her none of her excuses hold water, none made sense, and even if they did, we are trying to work through trust issues. Her staying at her parents for no reason, 3 minutes away with shit excuses is the opposite of that. She said I was being selfish, stressing her out, not being fair, etc. She says she's sobbing at work now, and it's all my fault.
My friends tell me i made a mistake, they told me i was making a mistake when I took her back, I know I was, and this is not unexpected, but I love her. Intensely. Obviously. I have other, 'better options' from an outside perspective, but from my point of view, she's the only choice. But I won't be cheated on again.... I'll break up with her first. That's my only protection from feeling like I am that fuckup in Offspring's 'Self-Esteem' song. If I'm not already.
So what do you think? AITA?
TLDR: too much nuance, TLDR wouldn't help me get an answer I need.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
LjzLf3ZQAINDMq0rEp7kNzxdAmi18jxy
|
azmurk
|
{
"description": "asking my sister to shut her door at night",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my sister to shut her door at night?
|
My sister and I both sleep with our doors open. Mine is open because our cat's litterbox is in my room and the cat likes to come in and out at night; hers is open because she says sometimes the cat goes in there. My sister can only fall asleep with her TV on; I like to sleep in silence. I've asked her to set a sleep timer on her TV, which she does; the problem is she wakes up during the night and turns it back on. I always go to sleep after her, so I ordered a copy of her TV remote to turn the TV off for when she falls asleep after turning it on again (since she doesn't put a timer on it the second time). What usually ends up happening is right after I get in bed she wakes up again and turns it on, usually to something blaring music like The Voice. I've asked my mother if I could put a cat door in my bedroom door so I could shut my door, but she said no. I've asked my sister to shut her door at night, but she gets aggravated that I'm asking her to "lock the cat out." She's told me to just sleep with earplugs, but they hurt my ears and I feel like I shouldn't have to do that in my own home. My thinking is that since I'm not her roommate I shouldn't have to hear to TV when I'm trying to fall asleep. She gets annoyed and offended whenever I bring it up and says I'm blowing it out of proportion. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
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"description": "having someone drive over an hour for nothing",
"pronormative_score": 8,
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|
AITA for having someone drive over an hour for nothing?
|
This one is long, and on mobile so sorry for the bland formatting. I am a college student looking to fill the room of a student in my apartment who is graduating. I also was looking for a summer sublease, but later learned from my landlord that we are not able to sublease per pur contract. Overall I had made two posts on Facebook groups, one for the lease and one for the sublease. After I learned that I could not sublease, I tried to disperse the sublease contacts and I deleted the post. Over a month later a girl who had contacted before me asked again if I still had a room available, and I said yes (I thought she was referring to the regular lease). We set up a date for her to visit but I had warned her to make other appointments or find something to do in town to make the trip worth it since she was going to be driving to see my apartment for over an hour and a half and I couldn't guarantee her the room unless we met and decided she would be a good fit. This afternoon she came out and I quickly learned that she was actually looking for a sublease and that our original conversation had been about just that. So she just quietly turned around and left. I looked through our messages from over a month ago and yes, I fact I had told her there was a sublease available, so she must have fallen through the cracks when I told everyone else that the sublease was not available, so when she contacted me a few days ago I had assumed she was just looking for a regular lease. I immediately messaged her and took responsibility and offered to venmo her some gas money. I truly dont know if I'm the asshole in this situation or if she just simply should not have driven almost two hours just to see one apartment. Obviously I made a mistake, but AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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9zzyf7
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{
"description": "telling a dude at the movie theater to shut up",
"pronormative_score": 4,
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|
AITA for telling a dude at the movie theater to shut up?
|
Okay, let’s just get in to it. I was going with a few friends to see Bohemian Rhapsody, which turned out to be a movie with a lot of music and more dramatic quiet moments than expected.
My friends and I don’t see movies often and decided to just kinda go all out, so we went to the nicest theatre we could afford. Don’t know if this is a thing at all theaters, but at this place we had to choose our seats before entering.
Anyways, turned out that the seats we chose were convieniently next to a guy that quickly began doing stuff like humming at random times, talking, and singing along with the movie some.
We all kinda brushed it off at first, sure it was annoying but it wasn’t too terrible, but it slowly started to get worse.
Now, at one point in the movie, Freddie kisses a dude in a decently frantic quiet scene. And the guy next to us started freaking out. He wasn’t yelling or screaming, but he was at least talking loud enough for the majority of the theater to hear him complain and groan loudly. At this point I was kinda sick of it, so I leaned in to him and said something along the lines of “Hey, we all love Queen too, but could you please just stop talking?”
He gave me a death glare and talked less, but didn’t completely shut up.
I feel like I was kind of an ass for calling him out because he seemed like he might’ve had some sort of thing wrong with his head, and looking back on it I definitely should’ve just tried to tell the staff about it instead of directly confronting him. I don’t really know.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "giving small tips to servers",
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WIBTA for giving small tips to servers (when I make less $ thant hem)
|
I live in a state where servers have to be paid minimum wage. I earn minimum wage in a customer service position and can't accept tips.
Should I be expected to tip more than 10%? The servers are likely earning 2x as much per hour as I am. I have to perform similar duties since I'm a courtesy clerk (taking back bad food, chatting up customers, providing a warm & fuzzy feeling etc)
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HYPOTHETICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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aiq7y9
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{
"description": "calling out this girl",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA: for calling out this girl
|
Context: I'm sitting in a second year university lecture and the girl In the row ahead of me has her chair pulled out all the way, her headphones on and is intentionally blocking people from sitting in her row (there's about 20 seats per row).
Because of this, every one is crammed into the front of the class while this one girl hogs one row
Would I be an asshole if I were to call her out rn?
It would be incredibly rude to make a scene but I think it's justified.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "making money from an app talking to guys (non sexual) & having no emotional connection towards them. bf calls me a whore constantly since I've confessed. holds this against me and it's been a year since I've quit it",
"pronormative_score": 88,
"contranormative_score": 4
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|
AITA? I (24F) made money from an app talking to guys (non sexual) & I have no emotional connection towards them. 43M bf calls me a whore constantly since I’ve confessed. Holds this against me and it’s been a year since I’ve quit it.
|
I’m a 24F and boyfriend is 43M. I’m a broke college student who’s completely dependent on parents. Before I was in a relationship with him, I used this app where I talked to guys and earned money. Never had any emotional feelings whatsoever, never sexted, the worst being something like promising snuggles. I did it completely for the money.
BF just went thru his 2nd divorce (he revealed this to me 3 weeks into the relationship) and immediately met me a month after his separation. I helped out emotionally and financially.
As things were getting serious, I was starting to feel guilty about being on the app. He’d tell me how he was wronged by all the women in his life (ex wives cheated on him, were awful, abusive, etc) and called them all sluts, whores. He makes degrading comments towards strippers. I don’t shame sex workers, and while I have not and am very against *myself* doing it, I felt that this attitude was really telling of his bitterness towards women. He got counseling after his 1st divorce about how not to be bitter towards women. He also doesn’t think I should have male friends, because “they all want to fuck me”.
I should add that he has a schizophrenic sister and a violent crack addicted brother (whom he recently has a restraining order against because he threatened to kill my bf). His mother is a Xanax addict. This is very stressful and I have been nothing but supportive.
A few months in the relationship, I confessed to him what I was doing. He had explosive anger and called me a whore over and over again. I felt absolutely guilty beyond my life, but I did not feel like I was a whore. I am absolutely committed to him and explained that I have absolutely NO feelings towards these guys who would pay just to message me over the internet in light conversation.
I felt the pressure of my family (if they found out I was dating my bf who is almost twice my age, they would not financially support me). The only stability I felt I had was having money. I have a lot of anxiety about the future financially. BF has $10,000 in debt in student loans and from an emergency ambulance he had to take when he OD’d on heroin a few years ago. His mom and sister blow through money very quickly, and when his mom passes away, we’ll have to take care of his schizophrenic sister.
In my apology, I gave him $1000 to show how serious I was and how sorry I was. But it hasn’t changed. He’s threatens to break up with me many times. He says he can fuck anybody he wants, and he says I’m an idiot for thinking that he’ll even do that.
It’s been a year since I’ve been off the app. It’s almost like... every week or every other week we argue about this. If I knew he would’ve been hurt this way, I would have NEVER done it. My last bf did not act this way at all... and actually encouraged me to support us both through college.
I was a dumb young kid but I feel like he is so hard on me.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aplnlp
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{
"description": "telling my best friend that she should eat 9 tons of Tic-Tacs to get rid of her stanky breath",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For telling my best friend that she should eat 9 tons of Tic-Tacs to get rid of her stanky breath?
|
I went to a restaurant with my best friend last night and we ordered some *extremely* spicy food. After an hour of waiting, we finally got our food from the waiter (Peri-Peri chicken) and we scoffed it down like a bunch of hungry pigs. My friend ordered a lemonade, which she drank before we got our meal, and i let her have a sip of my Coke. She then starts to... whats the word? Lets go with breathe in and out quickly, almost like she was hyperventilating, and puffed all her breath into my face. I recoiled as she carried on and handed her some tic tacs i had in my wallet the day before, and i said "No way, You'll need to duplicate them by 10 if you want to get rid of that breath!" I meant it as a joke but i kinda feel like an asshole for doing it, i apologised but still feel guilty for doing it. Am i the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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b3lggg
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{
"description": "telling my coworker off for being childish",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling my coworker off for being childish?
|
TLDR at the bottom
I’m 18, a cashier, and I’ve been working at the same privately owner pharmacy for 4 years. my mother is the front end manager of the store I work in.
I haven’t had many problems with my job, other than this coworker. We will call her L.
So my boss & manager hired L and things started off great. She came in on time, was enthusiastic, asked us how she can improve, etc. after a few weeks this all changed. She would talk as if she knew more than the pharmacists and that got her reprimanded by our boss.
Later on she started coming in late, bc she would stop by McDonald’s to get breakfast. Everyday. She’s heavily overweight (about 5’5 and over 350lbs) & diabetic. She will stand at the front counters & eat sugary/fatty snacks all day and drinks about 3 Mountain Dew’s & 2 Coca-Cola’s a day. I mean to each their own, it just bugs me for her to stand there and eat instead of helping customers, answering phone calls, doing work, etc. We told her whatever time is on the schedule for her, she needs to be in here BY that time not AROUND that time. That didn’t help. If anything L started showing up later.
I have an eating disorder, depression & anxiety + insomnia which I’m currently getting help for. L tries to act like she knows me better than me, knows what my diet should be, and what meds I should be on. I’ve told her off multiple times over the past 7 months for it.
L has recently gotten super childish. she’s single, has no kids, lives with her 2 sisters, her younger sister’s husband, and L’s ex boyfriend, so I get why she would get a bit antsy. But she’s 54. And she acts like a child. She will scare us if we go down the hall, flick rubber bands at us when we’re working near the front shelves, etc.
today when I was helping a customer, talking to them about insoles they were buying from us, and I stretched my leg backwards slightly and L grabbed a wooden ruler and slapped it against the top of my thigh. Right where I cut(over recently made cuts) I know she doesn’t know I cut but even if I didn’t it’s still dumb to do that to a coworker trying to help a customer in a professional environment. So as soon as the customer left I pulled L aside and told her as calmly as I could to never ever do that again because it’s beyond childish to do that, and that I wasn’t being payed to babysit her (my side job is baby/house/pet sitting that’s why I say that). She got upset and started pouting. A 54 year old adult pouting because of an 18 year old. What the fuck?? No apology. She just walked away and sulked until she left.
AITA for telling her off for being childish?
(Will be posting a separate story after regarding the same coworker)
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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asayof
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{
"description": "dating a man 28 years older than me? my parents are coming apart at the seams",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for dating a man 28 years older than me? My parents are coming apart at the seams.
|
For reference I'm 27 and he's 55. We have been dating about a month and it's the most amazing relationship I've ever been in. He's kind, he's generous, he's in great shape and he has none of the insecurities I've encountered in other guys.
My parents are about to flip out and cut me off. My mom even called me a sugar baby and my dad isn't speaking to me at all. I feel they've made commitments to me but never stipulated that they can control my behavior with them.
Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ayl3xl
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{
"description": "getting mad at my gf for being distracted all the time",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my GF for being distracted all the time?
|
​
Throwaway because my GF knows my main reddit
I've been with my GF for almost 2 years, and I really love this girl. I can seriously imagine myself proposing soon if it weren't for her ADHD..
I moved in with my GF 6 months ago and honestly she's been getting on my fucking nerves the entire time. Everything is fine the sex is great (kind of), we communicate well, we like the same things. But she just gets distracted so much, I'm reconsidering if she's capable of being a wife or the mother of my future children. Here are some examples:
​
​
* She takes way too long to clean the apartment when it's her turn to clean up. The apartment we have is pretty small and it can take up to 2-4 hours for her to clean up, because she constantly gets distracted. While it only takes me up to an hour and a half. Even then she misses things, for example she forgets to turn on the dishwasher at night, or she forgets to scrub down the counter. It wouldn't bother me so much if this were a once or twice scenario, but this happens every time.
* She spaces out when I'm talking to her, and forgets to do things I ask her a lot. Like a few nights ago I called her from work and mentioned if she could put a few of my beers in the fridge so by the time I come home they were cold. When I come home, guess what? No beer in the fridge.
* She talks to much, and about nothing. Everytime when we both come home from work she somehow is able to babble about her day for an hour straight, even if her day was pretty boring. She still for some reason thinks I want to know all the details about it.
​
And the list goes on, this is just a few of the things she does. I usually never point it out but I got tired of it after her most recent "mistake" and told her: "Look I understand that you have issues with concentration and memory but you really need to learn how to get some more self-control". She told me that she's trying to get her ADHD under control, but it's been dificult for her. Honestly it really bothered me how she used her ADHD as an excuse, and I told her that and she seemed really upset and hasn't talked to me much recently. I feel bad but at the same time I don't think its fair that she gets to blame her ADHD when they're are so many successful people in the world with ADHD. My brother has ADHD and he has a sucessful career, and I never had issues with him when he was my roomate.
​
TLDR: My GF uses her ADHD as an excuse for being clumsy with her chores and being annoying, I told her this and she's upset. AITA?
​
​
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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b7h4jj
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{
"description": "telling my aunt I would not give her five out of my $20 for no reason",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because I told my aunt I would not give her five out of my $20 for no reason?
|
A few minutes ago, after one of relatives gave me $20 dollars as a gift which prompted my maternal to ask later on if I would give her $5 out of that money if she asked for it. I answered maybe, but she wanted a straight yes or no. So I told her it would depend on the reason for why she wanted it which caused her to denounce me for being a cheapskate because she somehow expects me to give my cash just because she's older than me and a family member.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "saying that I'm not willing to fight for my gf if she chooses to fall in love with someone else",
"pronormative_score": 23,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I say that I’m not willing to fight for my GF if she chooses to fall in love with someone else?
|
So I’m currently in a fight with my GF because she is upset at me that I said that I am not willing to fight for her if SHE falls in love with someone else.
In a hypothetical situation, she asked me what I would do if she fell in love with someone else. I told her that at that point, she’s already made the decision to leave me. I am not going to control her, and I’m in no position to tell her that I’m what’s best for her. I would ask her why she decided to leave me, self reflect, and move on.
But she said that if I truly loved her, that I would literally fight for her, and possibly harm the individual she’s fallen in love with in order to get her back.
So Reddit, I need some help, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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ahzys5
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{
"description": "not wanting to have sex with a very pregnant woman and telling her so",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For not wanting to have sex with a very pregnant woman and telling her so?
|
Long story short. I met a woman on tinder, and she was just starting her pregnancy. We hit it off, and the sex was great. However she is now five months pregnant and im just turned off. Its been like this for awhile but now I've reached my limit.
Its not that im disgusted with her body or anything, just the thought of having my penis so close to a baby is fucking weird as shit. Theres an actual other person there when we have sex, and not only that im banging his mom. Huge turn off lol.
Shes been estranged from her husband for two months, and is sexually pent up. After i keep putting the sex off, she asks me why, so i tell her the truth that i am just not into having sex with a pregnant woman. Probably five minutes later i get called an asshole. Am I?
|
HISTORICAL
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b0gie9
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{
"description": "not caring if my grandparents live to see my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not caring if my grandparents live to see my wedding?
|
I always loved my grandparents growing up. We had a good relationship, they were fun when I was a kid, and even when I was a rebellious teenager I knew we didn't have the same views on pretty much anything, but I still respected them.
In the last 5 or so years however, they've made it progressively harder to find reason to respect them other than the whole "you're my moms parents" thing. They've always been conservative, but they've fallen HARD into all the shit that's going on today. We have a family rule not to talk about politics at family gatherings because it always ends in an argument, but my grandfather always finds a way to inject some racist remark into the conversation. It's gotten to the point where no one even enjoys getting together anymore because everyone's tiptoeing around each other trying not to set someone off. My entire family is being held emotionally hostage because no one wants to say something that would trigger grandpa and get him ranting about some racist , xenophobic shit.
My fiance and I have been together for four years, and we've lived together for almost three of those. Everyone in my family knows except my grandparents who would throw a fit if they found out. It's to the point where if we're spending the night at my parents on a holiday we put our things in separate bedrooms to keep up a facade that we're not going to sleep together. And in conversations I often find myself having to lie to pretend we're still living apart. I put up with it because it's just not worth the shit it would start, but I'm fucking tired of it.
My brother and his wife just announced they're pregnant. Super exciting, until I find out that when they told my grandparents, my grandfather decided to lecture her about how a child needs their mother and it would be irresponsible of her to keep working after having the child. She just started working her first job in the field she went through six years of intense schooling for last year.
Now fast forward to a couple weeks ago. We were in the process of calling everyone in our family to announce our engagement. As expected everyone was very excited and congratulatory, then we get to my grandparents. The first words out of my grandfather's mouth were "well you better hurry up!" as in, "you better do it soon or we won't be around to see it".
My fiance and I laughed it off, but on the inside I actually thought to myself for the first time "good". There's a lot of other shit going on in our lives right now, so we were planning on a long engagement anyway. We're not planning on having the kind of traditional wedding they'd be happy with, so I'm sure they'd have something to say about that, and I really just don't want what's supposed to be a fun celebration sullied by their bullshit. I'm over it, and I'm tired of them assuming their ignorant opinions have any weight at all in the way I live my life. I really don't care if they're there or not, in fact I almost prefer they weren't. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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ato1sc
| null |
AITA in this situation.
|
Long story short. My father passed away in August of 2018. He left one thing behind he probably love just as much as his kids and my mother. His Motorcycle a 2006 Harley-Davidson Road King. This is something that I had spoken with him and my mother about and it was basically my inheritance. Even my sisters agreed that this was my bike. Due to my mom being very depressed my uncle, my father's brother, Asked me to let him get tags and insurance on the bike to take my mom out on a ride on it until I was able to ride it myself. I made him a deal that he could ride the bike to make sure that it doesn't just sit. Well he let my other uncle, who is more like extended family, ride my fathers/my bike and he crashed and apparently totaled the bike. Now I don't know when this happened as he neglected to tell my mother and I back when it did. Now I want him to either get the bike fixed if its fixable or pay me the $9000 dollars the bike was worth since he ruined my property. He's my family and my uncle but AITA for demanding that one of these be done?
|
HISTORICAL
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armhc0
|
{
"description": "telling my boyfriend's mom that we're pregnant before my own mother",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my boyfriend’s mom that we’re pregnant before my own mother?
|
My boyfriend “Nick” (25M) and I (23F) have been together almost five years now. Last year, I got pregnant, and while we were surprised and a bit worried, we decided to keep it. We told his mom “Sabrina” and my parents around 8 weeks in, with plans to announce to everyone else at 12 weeks. At 11 weeks, I had a miscarriage. It was extremely emotional, and happened on top of a bunch of super stressful stuff (we work at the same company and I got a promotion which meant transferring from Florida to NY, so we were temporarily long distance). We were devastated and it didn’t help the rough patch we were in, so after a few weeks I ended up quitting my job, dumping him and moving back home to Philadelphia in a weird rom-com style “finding myself” move. During this time, Sabrina reached out to me to share a story of her own miscarriage and told me that she loved me and wanted to stay in touch, no matter what my relationship to Nick was. My mother was sympathetic of course but we aren’t really that close, and even though I was staying with her, she didn’t really know what to do with me and my mopey ass.
Nick reached out to me two months after I left New York to let me know he was thinking of me and hoping I was doing alright - one thing led to another and I moved back in with him in our house in Florida and we’re talking about marriage. A few weeks ago, I realized I’d missed my period, took a test, and SURPRISE - five weeks along. Nick and I were overjoyed. We had a trip to Puerto Rico to visit Sabrina already planned, and while we were down there (I was 9-10 weeks along), Nick hinted that I was pregnant again at dinner with his mom, so I told her when she asked me about it after.
On Valentine’s Day (13 weeks in), Nick and I posted an announcement to social media to inform the rest of our friends and family. My mother doesn’t have social media, so I made sure to text her the announcement/photo, and also texted her that I was so grateful to her for letting me live at home with her while Nick and I were figuring stuff out. I would have called but she’s unable to get phone calls at work and I couldn’t remember what her schedule was that week.
She called me a few hours later to say congratulations and then randomly asked if I’d told Sabrina yet. I was honest and said that we’d told her while we were in Puerto Rico. My mom was LIVID. She said that not only was it disrespectful to not tell her earlier than everyone on social media, but that it was doubly disrespectful to have told Sabrina before her. She accused me of playing favorites and then she said “Well, next time you and Nick have trouble being adults, you can go be a bum on Sabrina’s couch instead.” It was really hurtful, although I’m hoping she just said that out of anger. Nick doesn’t think I did anything wrong and he’s pissed at my mom (they have never liked each other). My dad says I should apologize to my mom. Nick told Sabrina about the incident (I wasn’t going to tell her about it) and she called me to tell me that my mom is an asshole. I want to believe I did everything right, but my mother seems really hurt. Am I the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "calling the health department on my nephews preschook for having a dog",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
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WIBTA for calling the health department on my nephews preschook for having a dog?
|
The dog is not a therapy dog, just a friendly lab. According to my 4yo niece, the dog is at the preschool everyday.
And don't get me wrong, I love dogs...I just love kids more.
My 3yo nephews had a pretty severe athsma attack shortly after I picked him up from preschool last week following a coughing episode at the daycare. This is a typical allergic reaction for him and he's been hospitalized in the past.
My sister reminded the preschool owner that her son is allergic to dogs and the preschool/dog owner told my sister that she keeps the dog away from my nephew. She then changed the suject and called my sister out for my forgetting to sign the kids out when I picked them up.
Keeping the pet allergens away from my nephew when the dog is there all the time just doesn't seem possible. Not to mention the little guy LOVES dogs and will do anything to get close to one.
The athsma attack scared me to death and I don't think the owner is looking out for the health and safety of my nephew. WIBTA for calling in an anonymous tip about the dog? Are there any other options?
Finding another daycare/preschool for my sisters three kids is not an option at this time. My sister is afraid that if we call the health department then the owner will find a way to kick her out and she will lose her job.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "wanting to take a break from hanging out with my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
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|
AITA for wanting to take a break from hanging out with my best friend?
|
My best friend started developing feelings for this girl back in March. A few of our friends and I decided that we were going to try to help him get with her.
At first he was excited and really wanted to get with her, and I was happy to help him. But for 6 months straight he was constantly talking about her, with no action. Now, I get it, he liked her and he was nervous to talk to her, but for 6 months straight, every topic in a conversation turned into a talk about her, and I couldn't just tell him to not think about her. One of the most frustrating parts was when he kept repeating himself on what he wanted to do, "I really need to talk to her one on one in person" etc, but he never followed our advice .
Jump ahead to the end of the 6 months and he actually began going out with her. GREAT. I can finally stop talking about how he can get with her. Nope. This was his first relationship (he has also never kissed a girl), and I completely understand why he would be a bit nervous about doing things with her. But being messaged nearly every day hearing about their dates, or how annoyed he was at himself for not going for something, it got to the point where I just ignored his messages for a couple hours because I was sick of talking about it.
After 2 months they broke up, and he claims that he is over it, when he clearly isn't. Any time I mention a girl he tries to give me advice like he is some guru, "Well when I was with my ex" "Bro honestly from past experience I know that.." , but he barely even held her hand after 2 months.
He still talks about her to this day and it has gotten to the point that I don't even like hanging out with him anymore, especially when it's just us two, because I know he will just bring her up and I have to say the same routine phrases over and over again, "No you're not in the wrong" "No I understand why you were nervous" "Don't be mad at yourself" etc etc.
TL;DR
AITA for not wanting to hang out with my friend anymore, because he will just talk about his ex girlfriend, who I had to hear about every day for the past 9 months?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not spending more time with my gf on my week off",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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AITA for not spending more time with my gf on my week off?
|
So this was several years ago, and she and I are broken up. However this was a major factor in the breakup, and something that I still think of.
Ive taken a week off work every year for the past 5 years to volunteer at a local charity around the holidays. It benefits low income children. It's well supported but I'm the only one whose less than 50 years old and in relatively good physical shape. They really appreciate my efforts and I love to be there. I get there around 10 and I'm usually out by 5.
My gf at the time would message me every day on my days off and hint that she wanted me to come by her school with lunch or to volunteer in her classroom. She only ever brought this up when I've already committed my time. Never did she ever suggest I do this at a different time of year, or ask. I usually couldnt come by, but I did bring lunch by 2 of the 5 days. I would go by her house on my way home from work almost every day by 5-530. And when I was volunteering it'd be about the same. She evantually got upset with me on this after I told her I'd be there around 545, and told me I was spending to much time volunteering instead of committing my days off to her.
I couldn't believe she would get upset over me volunteering at an organization that benefits children of the area vs spending time with her. I spent on average 6/7 days of the week there at her house, from after work to 10-11pm. I felt like we were on the same page except for this holiday time.
Thoughts? What other info can I provide?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "getting my father-in-law deported",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
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WIBTA for getting my father-in-law deported
|
Throwaway account for reasons.
First I wanna say that I'm not saying this cuz of his race, but because of his personality.
My father-in-law is Guatemalan and is here illegally, not even having obtained a work visa. That alone is not my reason though, its the fact that hes a backwards asshole and is a constant source of misery for me, my wife and my mother-in-law. A few examples of his bullshit is, he excluded his wife from the rest of his family while aggressively inserting himself into hers, stays at her place and eats her food, and runs up almost all of her bills while blaming me and my wife for it. He ruined christmas by insisting to go to the family's christmas party, then complaining that he wanted to leave 30 minutes in, and then starting a huge argument over it. He bought her a truck, then loans it out to his kids who then steal everything in there, then claims its his. Prevented her from returning an important test to the hospital so he could buy his granddaughter dresses, cheated on her, etc. And I am tired of it. Its cost me alone over $900 from both bills and replacing stolen objects, let alone my wife or mother-in-law who has it the worst. Ive considered turning him into ICE or whoever, but I dont know how I could do it secretly and it would cause a huge argument if it got out it was me, cuz for some unknown, unknowable reason my mother-in-law puts up with him and loves him.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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WRONG
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aurffe
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{
"description": "not wanting my friend bringing a tag along friend everytime I invite them to hang out",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for not wanting my friend bringing a tag along friend everytime I invite them to hang out?
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*Disclaimer, no real names were used in the making of this post*
Couple details that are necessary: I am friends with this tag along(Nyla), but I am not that close with her.
We all (there was a group of us) used to hang out back in high school but it was really mostly parties and other social functions when I would see them (plus high school)
When I went to college I didn’t really speak to Nyla that much (at all). However my friend (Jasmine) has pretty much been in contact with me for the entirety of these for years and even came to live with me in college for a couple months sophomore year.
Now, I’ve graduated back from uni (just graduated a couple months ago) and am happily back in my hometown working in a career that I love. I’ve been hanging out with all my old and new friends (ones I had in highschool and new ones I made in college). Life is generally okay for the most part.
So that’s all the important backstory really. To my issue, Jasmine is someone that I like to hang out with and I routinely invite her out to go to happy hours (I treat) and just to come over and smoke or something (weed)
On the evening of I invited her to come to happy hour, she invited Nyla without telling me at all. I pull up to her house and they both come out and just hop in the car. I’m like “okay” but I know I can’t really say anything because she’s already there, so I just try to make the best of it. I try to be a roll with the punches kind of guy so fuck it, we all go out even though I only invited Jasmine.
Jasmine then asks me if I mind dropping Nyla off at her house, I accommodate and take her home because she needs to get back and feed her baby, even though its the opposite direction from my house and takes us 30 minutes out the way, if it was closer I don’t think I’d be making this post.
So now in my mind I’m irritated at this uninvited guest who I have to leave my happy hour for in order to take her home, which is 30 minutes in the opposite direction of my home. I didn’t let on that I was irritated at this nor did I say anything to my Jasmine, I simply let it go.
Well, I asked this same friend to hang out and specifically mention that I’m just inviting her, without saying anything else. She says okay but just now I received a message from her saying Nyla is coming too. All the irritation instantly came back because I’m don’t want to hang out with Nyla at all to be completely honest, we’ve never been close like that and I truly don’t enjoy her company.
I’m not sure if I’m being an asshole and excluding someone, but this is how I truly feel and I don’t really know how to broach the topic with Jasmine about maybe leaving Nyla at home. If they have become some sort person package where if I invite Jasmine then Nyla has to cone as well, I don’t know if I’ll want to continue hanging out with Jasmine like that.
Am I the asshole for feeling this way?
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HISTORICAL
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am8bjs
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{
"description": "assuming a gift was for the both of us",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for assuming a gift was for the both of us?
|
My employer gave me the the opportunity to work from North America for a couple of months. So after having discussed it with my wife we descided to go for it. Financially it made more sense even when taking into account the fact that she's now on unpaid leave. plus we're enjoying ourselves a lot, not to mention we have a lot more time for eachother.
For Christmas I asked her for an expensive tool. The tool is something that makes my job easier. I had been delaying the purchase because of the cost but since it's considerably cheaper over here, the time had come.
The manufacterer made a mistake and the tool still has not arrived to this day. She called the company and mailed them a couple of times. To apologize they sent their latest model noise cancelling headset. So she was super proud of herself.
The evening before yesterday we got back from a superb citytrip and were both nackered. The noise cancelling headset had arrived at the lobby and my wife went to pick it up with some excitement in het trot. I prepared my stuff because I needed to wake up at 0345 for a very long day that included taking 2 flights on loud turboprop airplanes. I decided to make those flights more enjoyable and put the brand spanking new noise cancelling headset in my bag while my spouse was already in bed. I had the intention of telling her but it slipped my mind.
Fast forward to halfway through the next day. I get a text saying it's not nice that I took them with me. The seed for an argument is planted at this very moment. I get that it would have been beter if I told her. She was excited about the product and looked forward to playing with it that day. What bugs me is that I get the impression that she's claiming the item followed by the phrase "but you can use it from time to time".
When I got home at 2230 a part of my brain had already decided to call it a day. So at half capacity we get into an argument about it.
Her arguments were: I should have told her, I could have used her noise cancelling headset I gave her 2 years ago, she wanted to experiment with it first and "We got the headset thanks to me, because I complained about the late delivery". So I can use the headset but she has priority.
My arguments: I agree that informing her would have been better. Don't know though if that would have prevented rather than moved the start time of the argument. But mostly I reject that it's primarily her headset, the "We've got it because I complained' argument doesn't go down well with me. If that's a valid argument then i can think of many arguments that would validate my claim. That being said, I feel that it's a item that belongs to both of us and that I don't need to be told off for having used it that day.
The discussion started in bed, I moved to a different room because my bucket of things I could handle that day was full. After a while the frustration subsided, she was the bigger man and invited me back into bed.
The argument is kind of petty, we both know that. We're over it and we love eachother dearly. The dispute still requires a final verdict though: Who was the asshole?
PS: This was proofread by my wife.
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{
"description": "getting my new coworker fired",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting my new coworker fired?
|
I’m a line cook at a reasonably nice restaurant. At my workplace, that the first couple weeks of a new employee’s time there are their “probation period”; if they miss any days at all (outside of having 100% proof from a doctor) or get written up (even for something minor), they’re at **huge** risk for being fired on the spot. My employers are not mean people, but they see these as big red flags if they occur so soon in someone’s employment, and know that it’s easier to get rid of a person very early on (more protection from being sued, no severance package, still have a pool of other applications for their position).
My workplace got a new guy in his early 30’s early last week, John, who was supposed to, several nights out of the week, assist me in my specific department. The first four nights he did fine, but one night late last week was a disaster. A new dishwasher arrived, and the two guys “hit it off” with one another immediately; began shooting the sh\*t, horsing around, and getting no work done. While he was supposed to be assisting me, John was doing all this with the new guy, and I fell insanely behind (it was an extremely busy night). I approached John, stressed and tired, a total of **five** times and begged for him to come help me; he’d say, “okay, just a second,” and continue screwing around. The two head chefs had gone home early, and my supervisor was not doing much to help. An hour went by, during which John did **no** work at all.
Finally I snapped, and decided enough was enough. I approached him, and told him, “Okay John. I’ve had it. You’re being reported to the chefs tomorrow morning.” I saw someone whispering to him about their “probation period” policy, and he froze. He snapped out of it and finally came to help me. As he’d just gotten this job after having been unemployed for a long time, this scared him, and he apologized profusely. He stayed an hour later than he was scheduled to do some grungy, undesirable jobs; doing so freed me up the next day to get prep work done. As we were checking out, he said, “Sorry again. Glad that concern about, “probation period” is behind us.”
I stopped John, and told him solemnly that as glad as I am that he stayed late and stopped goofing off, that I’m still going to report him. I feel that doing some extra jobs doesn’t erase the fact that he didn’t help me during his scheduled hours, and I feel as though I gave him enough chances already (5!). He got **furious**, accused me of “leading him on” by not letting him know I was still planning on reporting him that whole extra time that he stayed, and stormed off. I had assumed he had stayed late because he felt bad about the way he’d treated me, not just because he wanted me to let him off the hook. AND, I thought I’d already made it pretty clear I was unquestionably going to report him.
I reported John to the chef the next day, and he ended up getting fired. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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b98z55
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{
"description": "not wanting to forgive my friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for not wanting to forgive my friend?
|
Basically i was friends with this girl, we’ll call her J, for three years. Another girl(H) moved into our class and they basically became closer and started leaving me out a bit. i was fine with it and sat with my other friends.
J accused me of being a cheater and i HATE being accused of something i didn’t do. H got us together and made me apologise for ‘slandering her’ which i didn’t do and J goes ‘i accept your apology. but doesn’t apologise for calling me a cheater. i give up and walk away.
now all my other friends have gotten involved saying we should talk to each other but i really don’t want to and no one gets that. i’ve realised how toxic J was and i feel better off without her. Another friend K made me realise how bad J was. She said she would set my friends house on fire and gave my sister weird lessons about how to kill someone?
H has been hinting at us being friends again but i don’t want to be associated with her. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "staying friends with a guy my fiancé hates",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I stay friends with a guy my fiancé hates?
|
My friend James and I go way back. We've been best friends since we were about 14. When we were in high school we would spend almost every day together from the time school let out until 9-10pm when our parents made us go home.
When we got older him and I grew apart but still stayed very close friends. There's been years where we're both single at the holidays and we've gone to each other's family's houses for dinner. When he introduces me to new people I'm always introduced as his sister. We really are like family towards each other.
He's had girlfriends in the past that hated me and suspected that we were sleeping together (never have, never will). He's left any woman that tried to tell him he couldn't be around me or talk to me. For the last two years he's been with this girl that I love to death. She's the sweetest. She and I even hang out and go on girl's only adventures without him occasionally.
My fiancé Scott on the other hand has no desire to get to know James. He doesn't like that we've spent holidays together and had (platonic) sleepovers at each other's houses at times when we were both single. Neither of us cross boundaries like that when we're in relationships. But, if we did things like that in the past before we met our partners I personally don't see why it matters. Especially since we have never had feelings for each other or did anything remotely physical with each other.
James always asks how my fiancé is and has tried to invite him out to grab a few drinks, or go fishing, or just go for a drive so they can get to know each other. Scott always turns him down.
I honestly don't feel as if we're currently crossing any boundaries and I don't feel as if we have at any point in the last three years I've been with Scott. We don't talk daily, it's more once every week or two we'll talk on the phone for 5-10 minutes and catch up real quick in the middle of the day. Every few days one of us might text the other a meme or something. We live an hour from each other so we only hang out once every month or so when we both have time. 98% of the time we're hanging out with his girlfriend. We barely spend anytime completely alone together anymore but neither of us are really bothered by that. There's always an open invitation for Scott to tag along with us.
He's never given me an ultimatum or told me I have to stop talking to him, but he has said it makes him uncomfortable and he'd rather me cut ties with him. I could understand his reasoning if James and I had history or if we spent multiple days a week alone together, but this feels more like Scott trying to tell me to cut ties with family. I've tried explaining this to him before but he never really understands. Again, he isn't mean or nasty about the topic. He passively tells me his feelings about James.
I feel guilty about the whole situation because I don't want my fiancé to be uncomfortable, but I'd love it if they could have a similar relationship to myself and James' girlfriend. Am in the wrong for not wanting to lose, a friend that's like my brother?
Tl,dr; AITA for not wanting to cut ties with a close guy friend because it makes my fiancé uncomfortable?
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HISTORICAL
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ar3sa4
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{
"description": "not wanting my sister in my wedding",
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"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for not wanting my sister in my wedding?
|
I have always been overshadowed because my sister DEMANDS attention constantly. She says outrageous things to draw (even negative) attention to herself. She is bipolar and experiences bouts of mania and depression. I know if she's in my wedding it will somehow be all about her - either she's so stressed out or she's feeling so down or she didn't get any sleep so she's drugged up on Xanax and twelve other things, etc.
I told her I was planning on not having bridesmaids (specifically because I DON'T want her in my wedding, but obviously I didn't say this) and she started whining about how she has never been in a wedding and it's important for her to be in mine. Other family members have also lectured me about how I *have* to let her stand up there with me because she's my sister.
I think it's so unfair for me to be forced to include her on what is supposed to be MY day, the one time in my life where she can't overshadow me or make the day all about her. I have friends who I would love to have as bridesmaids, but I'm not because I don't want her having anything to do with my wedding. I've already told everyone I don't want a shower or bachelorette party because I know she will humiliate me in front of my friends and future sister-in-law.
So, AITA for refusing to let her have a role in my wedding?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b70zc3
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{
"description": "telling my work with all due respect, fire me then",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my work with all due respect, fire me then.
|
To make a long story short, I work in a restaurant in a popular area of town. My dad’s who lives five states away, health has progressively been declining due to Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I was off the last ten days to spend time with him. Recently things took a turn for the worst he has approximately a week left. So doing what any normal grieving human would do, I am getting down there as soon as possible. My scheduling manager is trying to give me grief and said “you were already off for this last week” to which I responded “with all due respect, fire me if that’s how you feel, my father is way more important to me.” I’m now just waiting for her to start taking away my shifts. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
0S46RNvtSaH2qklVMgfp9upgTPWgNxZo
|
b977w3
|
{
"description": "wanting to Split Living Costs 50/50 with my gf",
"pronormative_score": 34,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA For Wanting to Split Living Costs 50/50 With My GF?
|
I'm M22, and she's f23 and we've been together for about 1.5 yrs. I rent a place by myself since I graduated and needed to move downtown for a job last June. My GF brought up wanting to move in together last week and I would love that but I told her she'd have to cover half the rent, utils and groceries. She said thats a huge dick move since I make around 80k this year and she's making around 45k. She even asked her friends and they said that I'm a douche and an ass for wanting her to pay half of everything.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 34,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
RIGHT
|
6mLbCmYcI6mBHZXXQV7CeMvcmujxMXzl
|
ahjkxq
|
{
"description": "not telling the girl I'd been hanging out with about my recently settled lawsuit",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling the girl I'd been hanging out with about my recently settled lawsuit?
|
Background pt 1: I was involved in a lawsuit from starting in 2017 due to an injury related to automobiles (not what you think though). This case ended up settling some time around beginning of October 2018. (This is also the first thing that pops up when you google my name. You can't see the results or anything, just that I've been in a lawsuit)
Background pt 2: I moved to Milwaukee this past september. I didn't know anyone, so I went on bumble/tinder to try to meet people in my new city. Sometime after my lawsuit settled, I ended up matching with this cool girl, we'll call her L.
For a little while things go great with L. We go on a few dates, and though our personalities are pretty different we still get along decently well. After the first few dates we start hanging out more and more. After the first week or two, she starts spending the night with me \~3-4 times a week. About a month later, we're supposed to hang out, and she tells me something came up and she can't hang out that night. No worries, I get it. A few hours later she sends another message saying she decided she doesn't want to be in a relationship and we should stop seeing each other. At this point I'm a bit sad, but hey I understand that we're a bit different, and maybe it's too much for her right now. She's entitled to her own feelings, I'm not going to stop that. After this, she ghosts me on all social media, blocking me everywhere so I can't talk to her (not that I would've since she made it clear we were done).
Anyways about two or three days later, I get a facebook message from her. (she must've momentarily unblocked me). She asks why I never told her about the lawsuit. I just responded saying is that why you just fucking ghosted me? You could've asked and I would've just told you. She says she didn't trust me to tell the truth, and that I should've just told her from the start. After that she ghosted me again and we've had no communications since.
Now I'm not overly distressed that what we had ended, turns out we weren't really that compatible after all. I am sad that I don't have anyone to hang out with now since I work 6 days a week and it's hard to meet people. But I'm wondering if she was right, and if I was an asshole for not informing her about my previous lawsuit right away, especially since it comes up immediately upon searching my name.
Any input is appreciated, thanks!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tYzlJxbzvlgsh0kEJQ2ziC2sOT6HH7Tg
|
au6wgn
|
{
"description": "pretending to be asleep until my friend got upset and left so I could have sex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for pretending to be asleep until my friend got upset and left so I could have sex?
|
Okay, so backstory. My friend Betty is very emotional at the best of times, and has a constant craving for physical contact that she often makes people uncomfortable to get; our group are all very comfortable with each other and enjoy platonic contact, but she takes it much too far. We've tried to explain to her that this is wrong, but she's never listened. She also can't stand falling asleep before everyone else at sleepovers. My friend Liam and I have been flirting online very explicitly for a while, and have been waiting for some time alone to do the dirty.
Both of these friends were staying around my house, where there was only one room available for all of us due to my family. Throughout the day, me and Liam have been fooling around underneath blankets whenever we got the chance without Betty noticing, but Betty did notice that we were cuddling up a lot and got madly jealous, often muttering bitter things under her breath which we both just ignored.
Eventually, I'm fed up of her shit, so I decide to just pretend to fall asleep while cuddling Liam so I don't have to pretend to not pick up on the hints that she wants to cuddle him instead. Liam gets what I'm doing and starts acting tired too, but Betty gets very angry and rants to him about how he knows she needs physical contact to feel safe and it's so rude of him to be cuddling me instead with everything that's going on in her life right now, etcetera. Liam is giving tired, half-assed responses. She starts crying, gathers all of her stuff, and walks straight out my door.
Me and Liam spend a good 10 minutes really wanting to fuck, but being unsure if the other feels bad about Betty. We eventually both come to the conclusion that neither of us care too much about her melodrama and we just get to it. About twenty minutes after we start, we hear the door open and throw on our clothes as fast as possible to pretend we were asleep the whole time. Betty walks in and turns the light on, walking very loudly, so me and Liam both pretend to wake up. She says that she just went to her sister's and had a panic attack, so she hopes we're happy we had a good night's rest.
Essentially she calms down and things mostly return to normal, with me and Liam texting each other cockblock memes the rest of the night.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
gk3KxRpaJ2NTLQeuqjG12GDJTEH1EZGv
|
ap0kef
| null |
AITA...GFs kid fought me to go to his dad's.
|
To pre-emphasize I'm m 35. Gf is 31-2. Her kid is male 11.
I've been living with these 2 since we reconnected after a shitty ass high school romance where she had me walk to friend/exes/fling/aka spoiler baby daddy and made out with him while I was standing watching from sidewalk.
I gave it up at the time of summer vacation. She was prolly 6-7 months preggers, I didn't give up the ghost until school started she was showing and still didn't want to give me time of day.
FF to my next gf type experience of a pill popping money hungry tease. She had gods blessing where her mother committed suicide when she was 16* and had to raise her siblings alone. Of course after playing my heart strings I signed a lease to an apartment fur her and her kids/siblings(her only blood child wad taken by the state to live with its dad).
I kept leanding her money to stay afloat whilst kinda getting to spend time/get affectionate (from first person view I can't say how it did or didn't effect her or her feelings.) During the brief time of money transfer.
FF her convicted bf got out of jail lived with her and the kid ins apartment with only my name on lease, ended up back in jail 2 months later which she immediately minimizedcontact with me. Afterward she got a new apartment she didn't need me for a new lease cuz dumb ass me was still on old one and had to pay off 2k in over due rent later.
Has me come over and try and live with her and kids/siblings when I either go crazy in the head as hear shit or I hear her gong thru with some b.s. cheating on me on the apartment literatly across the hall. I leave in a flurry of arguments nothing on the apartments is mine so I just get up and go after loud street argument.
FF NOWISH... I've been dating/living with the girl from different baby daddy in scene 1. She had found me on Facebook and stared talking. Said her roommate was a creepy trying to busy in on her during shower or other things. (Now I wonder if he wasn't her boyfriend until she had upgraded and is all lies).
He moved out in less then a month and i was in. All through out the first year i knew she was cheating on me. Going to her friend Zach and staying the night coming back freshly showered (which she does now, and I think she abuses her ps cuz she literally feel asleep sitting up). I complained cried fought she won I gave up and am now realizing I'm stuck in the same shit I got out of. So aita for going full circle? Are we all the assholes and life is hard I just need to toughen up? I feel we are all the asshole but don't let my one sided speil sway you.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
Pz8VHPZ5FEEtIBGfUspqhtqljkUEGpe8
|
aoe4gq
|
{
"description": "getting upset my mother keeps wishing/stating that I will have kids even after I told her I won't have any",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting upset my mother keeps wishing/stating that I will have kids even after I told her I won't have any
|
I know I won't have kids because I am not into guys like that so science but she doesn't know that. I keep reminding her that it is a no for me and even if I was the new Mary she wouldn't be allowed around them.
Have you ever seen a news report and think "some people shouldn't have kids". Well THAT'S ME!!!! I don't have the empathy and the unconditional love required to be a parent. This is why I get upset! She doesn't think of consequence she doesn't like children nor has she parented any of hers. Babies are cute and valued in the family, that's all that matters to her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 23,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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