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aux9ge
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{
"description": "calling the council on my neighbours dog",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I called the council on my neighbours dog?
|
This new family moved into a house across the road from me and everyday their dog is found roaming the street barking at everyone and everything. I have two dogs a medium sized border collie and a chiweenie this is important to note because their dog is easily 2 times the size of my border collie.
Last Saturday they went out and left their dog roaming the street for over 9 hours and tonight I went to get my mail and it was standing on the walk way leading up to my door. I just dont trust the animal and I think as a responsible dog owner you should keep your dog in your yard/house not give it free reign of the neighbourhood. My brother tried to put it in their backyard but couldn’t get close enough to the dog due to the barking and aggressive behaviour.
Would I be the asshole if I contacted the council about the dog being left home alone and on the street?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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amgs82
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to Chinese New Year with my girlfriend? hey",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to Chinese New Year with my girlfriend? Hey
|
Gh
My Chinese girlfriend is upset that I only want to spend 2 days with her family during Chinese New Year (CNY). I don’t want to go because her family does not speak English well and I do not speak Mandarin. I have spent two CNYs with her family before and both times I spent the vast majority of the week feeling incredibly bored.
I feel guilty but at the same time I really, really do not want to spend an entire agonisingly tedious week with her family. I can deal with it for a few days. But after a couple of days have exhausted all my foreigner repertoire (yes I am not very tall but neither are you hahaha...) I am stuck with a fixed smile and resisting the urge to use my phone. It gets to the point where I am doing unworthy childish stuff like sneaking off during lunches or extended family hangouts.
I have tried to get involved but I just can’t seem to get past the language barrier. I leap on any opportunity to play cards or things like that. Anything where I can have fun and try to connect with her family. But that still leaves like 10 meals with an hour or two either side of them for me to endure. Last time I tried drinking well beyond my usual 2 beer limit to see if that helped, but I just got fucked up on rice wine and felt paranoid about embarrassing her by throwing up or stumbling around. Maybe this time I’ll try a few puffs of weed before going.
Basically I don’t want to go because I can’t communicate with anyone. It’s like going to a party where you don’t know anyone and also they all speak Mandarin, and then that party lasts a week. Things would be different if I knew Mandarin and I feel bad for not being even remotely fluent, especially since my girlfriend speaks perfect English.
Her view is that I’m part of her family so I should be there the whole time. She told me, after I suggested that I only stay for a few days, that she feels like she lives in two different worlds, one with her family and the other with me. It bothers her especially since she only sees her extended family a few times a year.
She cried a lot when we were discussing this but didn’t really address my boredom. I told her that I get bored purely because of the communication barrier. I think she thinks it’s cultural instead which I don’t really get. I honestly enjoy the atmosphere around CNY and don’t find the get-togethers particularly different to Christmas time in my home country. I don’t think I’m making huge cultural faux pas or anything as she’s never brought that up before either.
Regardless, after she started crying I really felt terrible and I was so close to giving in right then and there. I feel like I honestly don’t have much of an argument and that I’m just being a selfish boyfriend. The only thing that has been stopping me is the thought of the last CNY.
This is my first time posting her so I’m sorry if it’s not quite balanced enough for our two viewpoints.
Thank you for your judgement.
|
HISTORICAL
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aowm2s
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{
"description": "getting on my girlfriend's case about paying me back",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting on my girlfriend's case about paying me back?
|
My girlfriend and I (both university students) have lived together for around a year and a half. She and I split most costs pretty much evenly, except for groceries where I pay for 60% because I eat more than she does. Because I drive and she doesn't, I'm almost always the person who fronts the money for groceries, house supplies, etc. by putting it on my credit card and then she pays me back through Interac e-Transfers (a thing in Canada where you can email money instantly to/from Canadian bank accounts). I'm actually quite fine with fronting the money like that because I get pretty good points on my credit card.
Here's the problem; she takes FOREVER to pay me back. I usually send her a request for the money she owes me from a transaction immediately after or within an hour of charging it to my card, and then it just sits in her inbox for weeks. At the time of writing this, I have 10 requests for money from her still pending with the oldest being from a week and a half ago. She says it's due to her ADHD and the fact that she has to enter her banking password every time she accepts a request. I've suggested switching to a bank that lets her use her fingerprint (the only thing she'd have to move over is her student loans which just entails sending one letter to the office), but she pretty flatly refuses that as well. Every time I bring any of this up she goes on a rant about how little time she has due to her schoolwork. For reference, it takes about 10 seconds to accept an e-transfer and I've offered to do most of the work in opening a new chequing account for her.
About 6 months ago I started quite diligently tracking my expenses so that I know where my money is going. The problem is that her taking so long to accept these requests means the outgoing transaction gets tracked, but no incoming transaction offsets it for weeks, making it look like I've spent nearly double the money I actually have, which completely negates the usefulness of being able to see how much money I have left in different categories at a glance.
I've tried reminding her to accept the e-transfers, but it usually results in a fight where she accuses me of nagging her and stressing her out when she has school to deal with.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
b2cwin
|
{
"description": "asking my brother to take me to the store, but getting frustrated when he stalled",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for asking my brother to take me to the store, but getting frustrated when he stalled?
|
A couple of days ago, I asked my brother to take me to the grocery store because I was out of all of the kitchen essentials. I don’t have a car and the store I needed to go to is about 2 miles away. Normally, two miles isn’t much for me and I usually just choose to walk it, but there were so many things that I needed to buy, there would be no way for me to carry it all back.
My mom arranged for my brother to come pick me up, and he honked at me to come down when he arrived and waved at me to come down quickly, so I did. At this point, I should probably mention that my brother has ZERO sense of time and it’s one of the things that frustrates the people around him to no end. No matter who is in the car, no matter what their schedule is, he will spend at the very least 15 minutes on Facebook on his phone, and it can sometimes be up to two hours. He can’t put his phone down for more than a few minutes at a time and it’s a terrible habit of his. Even after spending time on FB with the car parked, he can’t help but check it while he’s driving, too. I’ve prevented multiple accidents by being his eyes when he wasn’t paying attention.
So, I gave him some time. But after about 15 minutes, I realize that this might take longer than expected, and I really did need to get the shopping done and out of the way. I know, and everyone who knows him \*knows\* that there’s a possibility that he can keep you with him in the car for hours, so I finally said, “Dude, I really gotta \*go\*.”
I’ll admit, I could have been more polite, but he interpreted me saying this as being aggressive and he got pissed. Retorted back with, “I’m the one doing YOU a favor, I’ll take as long as I want, you’re not a goddamn queen!” I replied back with the fact that if I agreed to take someone somewhere at a specified time, I would finish up whatever I had to do at home (in this case, perusing Facebook) and then leave, because keeping them that long is just as rude and inconsiderate of their time. And that if it isn’t a pressing matter, then the most efficient option time-wise would be to drop me off, stay in the car, and do whatever he wants while I’m shopping. That way, both parties are satisfied. But no, I had to be considerate of his time and get in the car promptly while he just. . . sits there. For who knows how long.
So, Reddit, in your opinion, who was the asshole in this situation? I don’t feel great about the way I phrased things, and I know he was trying to do me a favor, but I was also on a schedule.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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WRONG
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|
b5oau9
|
{
"description": "taking a family members child to get vaccinated when their parents are anti-vaxxers",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 64
}
|
WIBTA for taking a family members child to get vaccinated when their parents are anti-Vaxxers?
|
Throw away account for obvious reasons
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 41,
"OTHER": 26,
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AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 26,
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}
|
WRONG
|
H2VNFGnz8MXZ4i7O4v2KrrDuvRepYSgA
|
a56bfc
|
{
"description": "playing loud music on speakers",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for playing loud music on speakers?
|
I am studying in college and live in a dorm. We have a common bathroom. Back at home I was used to listening to music while showering.
In my dorm I don't listen to music whenever I'm showering, since I shower everyday and late at night, however I do listen to music whenever I'm washing my hair. I usually wash my hair in the evening to let them dry before going to sleep, and I listen to music loud enough to hear it, but not on full volume.
Is this okay or am I violating the "quiet" atmosphere of others?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
aibj03
|
{
"description": "not making my wife's birthday extra special",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not making my wife's birthday extra special?
|
We're mid-30s, been married 6 years, have a 3 yr old and 1 yr old. I'm not receiving a paycheck due to the shutdown (though I'll receive back pay eventually), and I went way over the budget we set for Christmas (a night/activities out of town while family watched our kid). Our son's birthday is a few days before hers, and she wanted to do a big themed birthday with homemade decorations and activities at her mom's place, 4.5 hours away. We did the party the Saturday after his birthday, and drove home Sunday.
We packed up us, the kids, (who are both sick), and the decorations after I got back from the doctor on Friday morning, and I drove down. After the kids went down, I helped prep/decorate, and then we went to bed. Got up, went and ran errands, prepped, partied, cleaned, helped with the kids, fed/ate dinner, then wife went to bed. I went out and picked up a card and some flowers, prepped them, and went to bed. She told me she wanted a massage from everyone, so I figured she or I could make the appointment for it this week.
She slept in, her mom made her breakfast, and I watched the kids until they napped. Then we packed (which took forever, since we spread out around the house with decorations and food). We had planned on going to the zoo, but since we couldn't afford to take the dog to boarding and the zoo was 2 hours away, that was out. We ran out of time to go to the local state park, and had to leave. We drove to my mom's on the way back, where wife got another gift (on top of her mom/grandmother's gift, and a gift from my stepmom the previous day). Mom cooked us a nice dinner, and put on some music and lit some candles, then dragged the kids away while the two of us ate, which was very sweet.
During dinner, it came out that she was bummed that the day didn't go the way she expected, and was upset that I didn't put enough effort into making her birthday special. Apparently just saying she could make the appointment for her massage according to her schedule wasn't enough, and I should've done more to make it feel like a gift, and less like permission to spend money.
Honestly, I know I'm a little bit of an asshole, I suck at birthdays and special days in general. But on top of parties and travelling, we've got the shutdown, and we're trying to move (there was a drove by shooting a few houses down during the week before Christmas), the owners of our house won't let us out of the lease until they sell it, so we have to clean constantly to be prepped for showings, both kids are sick, work has been stressful (yeah, working for free), the holidays were nuts...like I said, I know I'm an asshole, but don't I deserve a little bit of slack? And it was her call to have a big party out of town the day before her birthday?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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yvI7luVBPKNjXaiXqXaLaPI1s6R0gBu2
|
avkwod
|
{
"description": "avoiding a special needs man and his family at work",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for avoiding a special needs man and his family at work?
|
As bad as it may sound, I am and have never been mad at the young man himself. He was probably around late 20-ish, always with his dad or extended family, and I think his condition may have been a lower functioning Autism. I worked at a fast food place for about two years, and me and my friend usually both worked together whenever we worked. His father would usually bring him to get food, and the first time (I will call him Gary here) Gary came and introduced himself and me and my friend were more than happy to talk to him. After they ate, Gary walked to the employee door and knock loudly. We didn’t mind talking to him, so we both went to the hallway to talk to him. Thats when he first asked for hugs, which we agreed to. During these hugs he would roughly grope our breasts and butt and kind of rub on both, while his father watched and laughed. I expected his dad to try to stop the actions, in which he never did. We didn’t really want to upset Gary so we just got over it. Then he ended up coming very often, mainly when us two worked. the next time with his whole family and he told them we were his girlfriends and they thought it was cute. They still thought it was cute when we would be cleaning and he would come hug and grope on us, and even kissed my coworker on the mouth when she was only trying to hug him hoping it would make him happy and maybe calm down. Which she nicely was like “Gary, you’re my good friend but please don’t do that.” And his whole family would just be like “come on!! you guys are his girlfriends!” It even got to the point his father would drop him off and wait in the car while Gary would come inside and sit and try to get us to hang out with him in the lobby while we were working. At this point we would tell him we couldn’t leave the employee area to hang out and that we were sorry. We offered to pay for food for him, and he would just say “Im not leaving until i get my hugs.” His father wouldn’t try to get him to come out or anything, and after 40 minutes the hugs were the usual. After a couple of times, whenever other coworkers saw them come in, we would just stay in the backroom trying to avoid being seen by them. One time the father himself saw me doing something in the back while I was staying back there and even told Gary how he saw me, to which he ended up screaming for me and I still wouldn’t go out and my coworker would just say it was someone else. During all this, I felt awful. I felt awful I was avoiding this man who can not help how he is, but I was furious at his dad. His dad thought it was fine and cute no matter how uncomfortable we visibly looked. AITA for my constant attempts of not being seen when Gary and his family came in?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b03umm
|
{
"description": "not being hospitable to my brother's ex-girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being hospitable to my brother’s ex-girlfriend?
|
So this is the second time something like this has happened, but I’ll be brief.
My[26F] brother [29M] , mother and, I live in a house together to conserve money. My mom decides to go to on a business trip with my aunt for some quality sister time. After my mom makes these plans, my brother decides to invite his ex to stay one night while she is “passing through” our town for training. He tells mom and me that she’ll stay Saturday night and then be gone on Sunday. Cool no big deal, I would have loved to know sooner but at least I know (as opposed to the last time when he invited her over to stay for the weekend without telling me... that was a fun Friday after work, finding that out..).
So mom leaves for the sister trip on Saturday, brother’s ex arrives late Saturday night. Great. Sunday afternoon rolls around and I ask the ex what time she is leaving so we can grab a meal before she goes. Well, she tells me, “oh I’m not leaving until Tuesday.” To which I reply, “Really, why?”. Brother shrugs and they go back to watching a show.
I pulled brother aside and asked him to talk to the ex about leaving early since we both have work on Monday and I don’t want the random ex snooping around my house. He said he would speak to her but he didn’t. I texted him Monday morning while at work to see when she is leaving. “She is leaving on Tuesday because she wants to cook me dinner”. I told him this is illogical and that he should have spoken to her and told her to leave. Now he is mad at me because I am angry about her presence in this house.
He doesn’t understand that he is being inconsiderate. But because I am mad at him, I can’t stand to look at her, much less make conversation. I got angry at him for locking the backyard gate on me and ex was there when I did. I am confined to my room because every time I go out into the living room, they are making out. It’s uncomfortable that I feel uncomfortable in my own home.
So, AITA for being angry at my brother for his surprise guest staying too long in the house and thus, taking it out on the ex as a result?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
areu83
|
{
"description": "wanting to kick a woman who just got out of the hospital out of our home",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to kick a woman who just got out of the hospital out of our home.
|
My mom owns a Bnb downstairs. Recently a woman rented a room downstairs for a month give or take. We had another person (X) staying in the room next door who was staying with us for roughly 6 months. My mom is a super nice woman who doesn’t like confrontation so when she trashed the room and shit the bed. My mom just told her that if she did it again, she would have to leave. She reported it to Bnb and that was that. Flash forward a week and the woman is being hospitalized for something and she was touch and go at multiple occasions. She comes back to the Bnb after a little under 2 weeks with one of those bags that relieves excrement.
After only 1 day of not relieving the bag. She got feces all over the bathroom and the mattress ,(destroying it,) in her room. My mom was fed up and asked her to leave because X would not be able to focus on his work with her around. She came back after a couple minutes to tell my mom she would be staying until Monday because X said it was fine. Okay First of all, It’s not X’s house. And Second of all, Fuck you for going behind my mom’s back.
My mom went to X and asked him about they’re conversation and apparently she just walked up to him, told him she was saying and then went to talk to my mom. My mom has had enough and just decided to let her stay until Monday and then charge her for the damages.
AITA for wanting to kick a woman who just got out of the hospital out of our home?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
al42cz
| null |
UPDATE: WIBTA if I go to HR about a coworker
|
Hey everyone!
Over a week ago [I made this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ahfi3q/wibta_if_i_go_to_hr_about_a_coworker/), you guys all gave me some wonderful advice and I wanted to provide an update as a lot has happened.
The next work day after I posted I sent "John" an email (a lot of you said communicate it all through your email) that read as followed:
Hi John,
I wanted to follow up about our conversation about after hours communication. As I said, please send all non-emergency communication to my email. If you're curious what I consider an emergency, here are some examples.
* Locking your self out of the building
* Safety hazards
* Issues arming/disarming the alarm
* Press camp out
* Life threatening situations
Like I said, if its anything less, feel free to email me, I frequently check emails throughout the evening.
Best,
Frankinthecoil
He responded back with a simple "Ok", but at least he acknowledged it! I felt as if my email was pretty neutral and was clear what I was ok with.
A couple days pass and I opted to telework yesterday after falling during my run. My boss wasn't in either so the admin team was empty. At 2:00 I got a flower delivery. Now, this typically wouldn't raise flags for normal people but for me, no one really knows I live there. My boyfriend bought a house a month or so ago and I've started splitting half my time there. I use my apartment as my main address for now until my lease is up.
​
Anyway, the delivery says "Get well soon beautiful. -JHT" It's from John. I begin to get uncomfortable and call the office and immediately ask to speak with John, he is thrilled I am calling him and I ask about the flowers and tell him I am recording the call (which is legal in Virginia due to "one way consent") and he says that he found my location via extensive research. He was able to get my listed home address via Google and sent me a bouquet this morning my neighbor them know I split time between my apartment and my boyfriends. So he went through and article he found with a photo of my boyfriend and I at an Embassy gala and then started researching my boyfriend and found he bought a house and then tried to send to that address, which worked.
I proceed to tell him this makes me uncomfortable and I am not happy right now.
He opts to begin having random things delivered all day like Papa Johns, Postmates, Prime Now (valentines day items at that) and even an Edible Arrangement. I photographed everything and this morning I went to my boss.
My boss is shocked. I have let her know how unsafe and uncomfortable I feel and that this is impacting my life in a way I am scared by, my boyfriend is now leaving work early to pick me up from the office, I take an Uber from the metro even though its only a 15 minute walk.
She has let me know she will conduct an emergency meeting with the executives and she has instructed John to telework until Thursday as I fly to LA Thursday early in the morning.
​
So yeah, here is your update. Thanks again for all your support on the previous thread.
​
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
|
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|
as487d
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be a bridesmaid on my 35th birthday",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be a bridesmaid on my 35th birthday?
|
I was asked to be a bridesmaid about 6 months ago by my work bestie. I've known her about a year and we haven't hung out much outside of work. Original date was fine but a new date was announced today due to her "unexpected" pregnancy. She had mentioned the date before and I told her that was my birthday. This is also an out of town wedding that will require time off from work and travel expenses. I really don't want to do it anymore and tbh I'm pissed she picked to pick that date after I already let her know recently that is my birthday.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
b3rdch
|
{
"description": "not letting my parents access my phone history",
"pronormative_score": 87,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not letting my parents access my phone history?
|
TL;DR mother wants me to put tracking app on phone I pay for, so she can 'see if I'm using time effectively'.
I'm a college student and 700 miles away from home. Now where I live isn't a bad area per say, but every major town has it's rough spots. I have paid for my phone for the past few months after buying a little straight talk smart phone. Not a big deal right? I like having data that I can use and being able to talk to who I want. (Not forced to talk to people I don't like). When I want is a big deal to. I don't have a car so I get on the weekend shuttle to Walmart for essentially everything. I don't leave the locked in campus. (We have walls that Trump dreams about y'all)(two lines of police intercept people coming in). She still says she wants me to download this app so she can she where I am at all times. Is this normal? I haven't lived with her for two years and she is known to be bipolar. Am I really disrespectful for not downloading an app for her to monitor my phone usage and tract my location?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
|
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RIGHT
|
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ax1vhe
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{
"description": "physically fighting with my sister as her brother",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for physically fighting with my sister as her brother
|
I just got back from a 3 day ski trip and I revived candy that I enjoy(water taffy). When I get home after picking her up she asks for one and I said no, I only have a few and I really like them. She then grabs my bag and takes one anyway. She says it’s hard and the worst she’s had. She then grabs the bag again and I grab it from her. And I before I could do anything, she punches me in the face and then I push her and she falls (her head ended up at my feet which is a pretty weird way to fall naturally imo).
My mom then tells me how am a guy and I should not ever hit back no matter what. AITA?
Also first time making a post on Reddit I made this a throwaway because friends know my username on reddit.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
hD5t044IwwBMLzYn8sQ8pOaBsCG1PKds
|
b59d64
|
{
"description": "hoping a friend could give us a forewarning",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for hoping a friend could give us a forewarning?
|
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
My friends and I have been planning a group get together today for the past week and a bit, we've had a date and time preplanned for people to show up etc.
The day of, one of our small group (we're a group of seven, we only see each other once a week if we're lucky) says that she can't make it because of another thing she has to go to that's she's known the date for for weeks, just not the time that she found out last night would overlap with our preplanned get together.
I think that if she knew she'd potentially be busy on the day, she should have said something so we could have pushed the time back a bit without messing around with other people's schedules. Instead, she tells us five hours before people are supposed to be meeting up.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
VoM8l2CZeDV5Ichvg4iqSeJIRnVYEFdq
|
alc4ao
|
{
"description": "finding the topic of menstruation kind of disgusting whenever a female friend brings it up",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for finding the topic of menstruation kind of disgusting whenever a female friend brings it up?
|
So, a friend (20f) of mine is often talking about her period and in normal conversations i (23m) dont have a Problem with that because it's a natural thing half of the human Population has to go through. But sometimes she goes a little to far, she talks very detailed over it. In ways i think are a little disgusting. And sometimes she has pictures in her social Media like showing a woman in White underwear thats really bloody and the Text "normalize menstruation" or something like that. And in those occasions i often act a bit of disgusted or sometimes I'm making jokes. Nothing too Bad, but maybe slightly offensive, Just to Cover up that im disgusted.
She knows that im not completly comfortable with that topic, especially if its very detailed. But she goes on and says Things like "sweetheart, dont make a fuss)". Maybe that I'm so uncomfortable with that topic in situations with too much detail is because i dont like seeing or thinking about blood at all, independent thereof where the blood comes from. And Yeah, the fact where the blood comes from and everything makes the thing a little bit more disgusting for me in that case (I'm Not gay though xD)
And dont get me wrong, ist have always comforted my ex girlfriends in These "times".. I Just think its Not something that should be talked so in a disgusting way..
So, AITA for Bitching around and being a bit "cold shoulderd" whenever its to much for me?
Yeah, and at the end i want to apologize for my Bad English skillz, if someone managed to read until here.. (if so, thnx mate)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
BgO70Rj5vEX6qQ8s6UheCTD5cEbFG1MX
|
b6zeae
|
{
"description": "refusing to let my drunk friend into my house and threatening to call the cops when she wouldn't leave",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing to let my drunk friend into my house and threatening to call the cops when she wouldn't leave?
|
On St Paddy’s weekend, my pop and two brothers flew in to visit. We (and my friends) go hard- I put my drunk father and a brother in an uber at 3:30pm. My 2nd bro and I stay til 5:30, he gets a bad case of the hiccups so we head home.
My friend E at some point leaves. She does this thing where she’ll leave and then texts us “should I come back? Is it still cool? Who’s still there?” To decide if it’s worth it.
4pm she starts doing this to our group chat. And we’re like yes! 2 hours of this. Every 10 minutes, we respond each time, so I’m fed up.
Get back to my house 5:50 and she texts me where are you? I’m like E stop just go home. She says “can you come pick me up?” I’m mad, too drunk to drive, I say “no, just go home” She sends me a pic of my location at my house and says “I’m coming.” My struggling pop and bro are sleeping, and my hiccups bro had just fallen asleep on the couch so I say, “no don’t come over” She says “I’m coming” I repeat do not come over 5+ times.
On arrival I don’t let her in. She calls one of my 4 roommates and texts me “I win”. So as he comes out of his room I’m like dude don’t let her in- and he’s like “oh okay” and goes back. So I text her “E what are you doing I told you not to come, please go home.” Silence. 10 minutes later she’s still on our porch, and I text again, “go home, why are you here?” No response. I was so mad I text, “if you don’t leave in 45 seconds I’m gonna call the cops”. As soon as I hit send I regretted it so I text (20 seconds later), “actually, I’m just gonna come talk to you.” Go outside and say “E what are you doing here?” She says that she’s here to let out another our other roommate’s dog (she never once mentioned that before). I say “I’ll let out the dog, please go home.”
Couple hours later, I text to apologize and she says “I thought you were joking, S \[dog roommate\] told me to come let out the dog”. I asked S about it later and she told me that E had told her “I’m going over to your house” and S was like “oh ok, while you’re there, can you let the dog out.” S didn’t actually ask her to come over.
I left the country for a week after that and E told everyone that I had threatened to call the cops on her because she tried to let out our dog. Of course when I told them my side they changed their mind a little bit but not all of them.
I feel if the roles had been reversed, and I (a male) had gone over to E’s house and was drunkenly ignoring her repeated texts to not come over, and refusing to leave, I would be the bad guy. How was I supposed to know she was there for the dog? Also later she said was “stranded” which again, how could I have known since she never responded (and got there somehow).
One of E’s friends was furious with me and said I should have just let her in regardless, and that S has the right to invite over people too (even though S wasn’t home) and that if I had thought she was drunk I should have taken care of her.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
dOaKLPVKxZay9ERWpPlfNAHWrBEwPWhE
|
b3lcdr
|
{
"description": "voicing my opinions",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for voicing my opinions
|
Okay, so I am a 14M living with by mom and dad. My mom, I love to death, can be naive sometimes. My dad is this big burly dude who likes to fill up his timeline on Facebook with dumb political crap like "If muslims dont like people killing them, why do they kill christians?" and stuff to that nature. I decided, "Hey! I have a Facebook. I want to post something there!". My post was me basically making fun of the fact that antivaxxers think that vaccines cause autism and at the bottom it read "And if you believe this crap, you should go to jail for child abuse and neglect" which is what they are doing. Now, when I posted this, my mom was shopping. When she got home she yelled at me that I shouldn't post stuff like that. I said back "If I can't, why does dad?" And she said that he was allowed to have his opinions. This happened at about lunchtime (12pm) and I haven't really talked to her since. I feel kinda guilty, which is why I came here. So, o great redditiors, was I in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
PqKSOj7cfLBf078Q3ipGrFcoVy0bQKI2
|
ajp7ov
|
{
"description": "not tipping takeout",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not tipping takeout?
|
I’m always so torn on whether I should tip or not if I’m getting food Togo from a restaurant or foodcart food. If I use a card I’m always asked if I want to tip and I feel bad typically clicking the big “no tip” button and I feel like the employees typically judge me for it. It makes me want to just pay in cash so I can avoid having to outright deny the request for tip all together.
Now if I go into a restaurant, sit down, have a meal, I always tip, but for takeout I almost never tip unless if I’ve been going there for awhile and know the guy in which case I’ll tip every third time or something. Do I need to tip every time? I’ve googled it and can’t find a concrete answer in regards to ordering takeout from a restaurant or what have you.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 18,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
nMFrbZM7HpVRgjSmrcvDovlDQEyxIPsl
|
ar3a7l
|
{
"description": "not telling my girlfriend that I'm bisexual",
"pronormative_score": 27,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not telling my girlfriend that I’m bisexual
|
Me (15M) and my girlfriend (15F) both developed a crush for each other in the seventh grade. Over the past summer I asked her out. I really want to tell her (I’m closeted) but I’m big into wrestling and go to a catholic school (Neither very accepting of different sexualities). Am the Asshole for not telling her yet.
Sorry if this is formatted bad. It’s my first post and it’s on mobile.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 19,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 27,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
73LK7JC0egWWQ7TGNWqn7qUNGId8VEad
|
aui31h
|
{
"description": "trying to get my mother to say 'thank you' and 'I'm sorry'",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to get my mother to say ‘thank you’ and ‘I’m sorry’?
|
My relationship with my mother is strained for many reasons that I couldn’t be arsed to go on about right now. Tonight I spent an hour cooking a meal for the both of us and when I walked into the room I had the goal in mind of paying attention to what she says to see if she said ‘thank you’. I have a pretty bad mental illness and my memory is atrocious so I needed to keep focused or I’d forget what she said. I waited there while she went on to say ‘this is good’ and ‘very tasty’ but she didn’t say thank you. I waited and tried to give her cues, trying to be non-confrontational and make a joke out of it before finally feeling defeated and saying ‘you’re welcome’. She immediately claimed she said thank you multiple times and gave a few examples that weren’t there. I know they weren’t there, because I was looking for them.
Sometimes she’ll be outright rude/bitter to me and I’ll call her on it “I did not appreciate what you did just then.” and instead of apologising she’ll change the subject or make a joke out of it. I can’t exactly ask her to apologize and when I later call her on it saying my feelings are hurt she’ll exclaim “I apologized plenty of times!” when I know she didn’t and she will get irritated and upset and I’m still left with hurt feelings.
I feel like she’s taking advantage of my bad memory… and I feel like she doesn’t really care about how I feel. My issue with her behavior is not that she isn’t saying thank you or I’m sorry but that she’s either ignorant she’s neglecting to do so or manipulating me…
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
l93REQntFJUxRV2f4ZSELrsBKtziKXdT
|
ba1sax
|
{
"description": "refusing to alter my schedule by a measly half-hour",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to alter my schedule by a measly half-hour?
|
I work for an in-home music lesson company three days a week. It's interesting, challenging work most of the time, and it helps to be able to see what type of environment my students practice in. However, it is also full of entitled people and those who otherwise can't be arsed to take their kids to a proper music studio. A recent exchange has left me wondering, though.
A parent of two of my students (henceforth "Florence") recently signed them up for basketball practice this month. The only problem is that the basketball practice is in conflict with their piano lesson time (one we established months ago, I might add). Less than 24 hours before I am supposed to go over there, she asks if I could possibly move their lesson time half an hour later to let them have time to take a shower in between. A couple things, for context:
-Their lessons are on Saturdays, when I teach for 12 hours straight with a 45 minute lunch break (if I'm lucky and don't have to teach a make-up class to anybody).
-Their lessons are my final lessons on Saturdays.
-Florence and I have discussed moving them to another day in the past, but so far no slots have worked for both of us.
-Florence knows I work long hours on Saturdays.
-Florence has also, repeatedly, attempted to talk me down to charging a quarter of my usual hourly rate (because her kids are so great, don't you know).
So I refused, and fairly forcefully so. I told her that it seemed that she did not respect my time at all, and suggested a break. I'm actually kind of hoping that she just won't call me back, ever...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
EpCYuCjnejcwZD6wTRJWAjIGdrGyAWps
|
9u6tbi
|
{
"description": "getting angry I had to give my table to a rude pregnant woman",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting angry I had to give my table to a rude pregnant woman?
|
Recently I went to the mall with a friend and wanted some food to eat. The thing is, all the tables there were taken and we had to walk around and keep an eye for when one of them became available. After 20 minutes or so we finally sat somewhere and were thinking about what to order, only to be interrupted by a pregnant woman with her friend who had just arrived and told us "I'm pregnant, you have to give up your seats for me" and made us get up. We did leave, but I was furious and regretted not telling her to wait like we did. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
DZjV1obmE0469RxHaKErwd4k6c3eSzD9
|
andko5
|
{
"description": "not wanting to holiday with mum",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For not wanting to holiday with mum?
|
TL;DR: I want to go discover myself whilst studying abroad, Mum wants to tag along for a bit. Do I crush her dream by telling her I don’t want her to?
Later this year, I’m [18M] planning to go on study abroad to the UK for about 4 months. My mother [46F] is very excited about this and has suggested we holiday around continental Europe for 2 weeks before I get to the UK.
Now don’t get me wrong; I love my mum more than anything and our personalities are really compatible and we get along well. However I’m not keen to go on holiday with her.
Firstly, we just got back from a holiday overseas together (with other family) that was enjoyable but in no way relaxing due to us all liking different ways to travel.
This trip of studying abroad will be my first time living out of home and I was kind of hoping for it to be a discover-myself kind of trip and I feel spending two weeks straight in close company to my mum will not be a great start to that.
Also I can only be overseas for a certain amount of time due to medical reasons and the more time I spend with Mum the less I get to myself.
Here’s a summary of the reasons that I feel bad about not wanting to go:
- Mum is super excited about it and I don’t want to crush this dream
- We are not rich and mum’s more than willing to spend lots of money on the trip
- My Mum had breast cancer last year and I feel like this is a pick-me-up she really wants.
Mum’s brought it up around my grandma who thankfully said I wouldn’t want to do that, which my mum unfortunately ignored. I’ve tried to hint I’m not super enthusiastic about it but have not explicitly stated I don’t want it do it.
Should I suck it up and go with her or tell her I don’t want to do it? Before you roast me I know this is the most first-world problem ever but it’s still a dilemma.
Also if it makes a difference I’m paying for the study abroad with money I’ve worked for myself.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
J4azWOZ0dor3MwM8FiocSWb9bwyPxrHE
|
ak3aom
|
{
"description": "telling my friend off after she insulted my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend off after she insulted my girlfriend?
|
So I recently started dating someone that one of my friends doesn’t like and she kept trying to brake us up and kept calling her a slut and shit. Am I the asshole for telling her to fuck off?
Backstory: Me and this “Friend” who I will not name for her privacy, have been friends for about a year and a half now and its the same with me and my girlfriend, I didn’t expect my friend to act so rash about me dating her, I mean, I knew they didn’t really like each other, but I didn’t know it was gonna be like that. And now that me and my girlfriend are dating, she’s acting like a total asshole, calling her a slut, and a bitch, and pretty much insulting her every chance she gets.
Edit 1: I did not expect this post to gain any attention whatsoever, but consider that it’s got some traction, I feel I should give some more context. Me and the “Friend” that was being so rude to her haven’t been talking lately, especially since I live more towards the northwest right now and it’s been extremely cold so we haven’t been able to see each other as often, but she’s started being a little nicer to her now, so that’s good. I’ve decided that maybe I should stop communicating with her for a while, as things are a bit off right now, and I feel it would be best to only talk to each other when necessary, but next week it’s supposed to be warmer, so we’ll see each other again, I just wanted to give a bit more information about what’s going on since a lot of you are asking.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UAGtwUC0DvAQ7IYt21fHHFznjRQqR8xq
|
b73zdb
|
{
"description": "not wanting to do a survey",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to do a survey?
|
So I was in the airport, waiting for my flight time, in front of the gate. I'm minding my business, checking my phone while listening to music. This girl approached me and we had the following dialog:
​
\-Hi! Are you from here?
\-...Yes... Why?
\-Oh, we are doing a survey on our citizens travelling. Here, look at my company's badge! (Just a random company I did not know and did not care to remember).
\-I see. I rather not give away any details, so I do not want to do any survey.
\-It is just a survey, this is my job and I have to pay the rent.
\-Well... It's nothing personal. I just don't want to collaborate with the big data of a company and you are not changing my way of thinking...
\-You know? I've studied art, I'm studying now to become a public servant and I got to pay the rent.
​
And with that said, she left and I was able to keep enjoying my music, which she interrupted. I don't know, I was calm the whole time and she got offended quickly. I understand she has to pay the rent but I'm sorry, that's her problem, not mine. If she had offered me a tea or a coffee, I might had taken it as I needed it more than a survey.
​
PS: I know, it's kinda ironic that I'm posting here when I refused "to help the big data" ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yEohGEnW8NgnlUJoyvL1co1MHahuCbd4
|
a47v8q
|
{
"description": "smoking weed in my apartment",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for smoking weed in my apartment?
|
TL;DR: Actually, either read the whole thing or don't answer. This is more complicated than it sounds.
My wife and I have been illegally subletting our apartment from my mother. It's the apartment my mom and I moved to when I was in my late teens. Sometime after that, my mom moved out and we started subletting from her.
My mother has a long history of being emotionally abusive and my relationship with her is extremely strained, but it's a really sweet apartment in a good area and has been rent controlled for fifteen years.
I seriously doubt my mom is going to evict us for practically any reason because that would involve giving up her last source of control over my life and allow me to finally go full No Contact. Which I happily would, and she knows it.
So I'm not interested in practical advice on that front.
Anyway, my mom's lease says no smoking and no pets, but the real landlords have always been extremely laid back.
When my mom and I first moved here, the official superintendents were obvious full-on tweakers who left used needles lying around their porch. The people who replaced them smoked a big hookah indoors.
As for pets, there has usually been more than one tenant with at least one cat. The last time the actual landlord was here, she was worrying that there weren't enough cats on the property to control the rat problem.
Since then, the true landlord has come down with dementia. I think she technically still owns the place, but some corporate entity is overseeing it. I'm not sure exactly what the deal is.
My mom says she once went to the proxy-landlord and started tentatively asking probing, "hypothetical" questions about subletting, and they were like, "Stop right there. We don't want to know. We just want rent."
My wife and I both smoke a lot of marijuana, myself for my panic attacks and my wife for her chronic pain. My wife has a fused spine. She is extremely stiff in the morning, and has a lot of trouble getting outside to smoke before she's had her morning smoke.
Nonetheless, we avoided smoking in the apartment for the first couple of years we were subletting.
Then, one winter, my wife was sick, and I couldn't get her to drag herself outside, so I put a fan in the window and we smoked in the bedroom, and it was downhill from there.
But for a whole year, we were able to keep the smell from collecting in the walls by putting the fan in the window whenever we smoked. In fact, we were able to control the smoke to the point where when my mom dropped by, she couldn't tell. There were times when we had ten minutes to air the place out before her arrival, and she still couldn't smell it.
And in fifteen years, none of the real landlords or proxies thereof have come barging in on short notice the way my mom does.
My wife didn't like the fan, especially during the winter, but I would fight with her to use it.
Then, one day, I got sloppy, and I got caught.
My mom was furious. I explained to her that we had been able to control the smoke for a whole year, and she hadn't noticed. I explained to her that if she'd given me just ten minutes warning, she wouldn't have noticed that day.
I also explained my wife's chronic pain issues, as I had before.
My mom sneered at me and said "World's smallest violin."
Now for some background. My mom has seldom hesitated to ask for concessions on account of her health problems. When I was an adolescent, she denied me access to public education, completely failed to homeschool me, and screamed at me nonstop for an hour every time I woke her up from a nap. She justifies this in terms of her chronic fatigue syndrome and my supposed autism, the latter of which has been diagnosed only by her.
And what she had to say to the 19 titanium screws in my wife's spine is "World's smallest violin."
At that point I wasn't going to thanklessly fight with my wife on her account. We completely stopped using the fan.
So now apparently the whole apartment smells like weed to those who aren't scent blind to it. Whenever my mom comes around, she starts going ballistic about it and demanding that we give her a deposit and saying the deposit won't be enough and the landlord is going to sue her when we move out.
Mind, we never signed anything when we moved in here, least of all anything relating to a deposit. This is an illegal, under-the-table sublet, as with all three units in this building.
I also have my doubts about my mom's lawsuit fears. No one has ever had a problem finding smoker tenants for this place, so I doubt they'd bother suing anyone over having to do that. When we leave, I reckon they'll still get more money because the rent control will reset, but if they wanted to bother evicting us, they'd have cause regardless because of the sublet.
And because of the cat, but we won the fight over the cat with my mom years ago.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
iR8tpQaiOlt3CdiTxGYI1SJVJmpVx2Kj
|
ayfg76
|
{
"description": "telling a stranger we don't need input for our wedding",
"pronormative_score": 36,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
AITA for telling a stranger we don't need input for our wedding?
|
So my fiance and I are getting married in December. I absolutely *hate* Facebook, but I brought it back to look for wedding vendors, etc. Everything major has already been booked (DJ, wedding and reception venue, photographer, hair and makeup, etc). My mom is paying for everything minus the rehearsal dinner, which is fine. My mom asked me to look into videographers, so I did. (My fiance and I don't really care about having one, but I decided to look into it anyway, for my mom's sake.)
A family friend of my fiance's suggested her nephew, but he is waaaayyyy too expensive. She posted his page on my personal FB. So I politely told her that he is out of our budget...NBD. SO her some random lady (complete stranger) chimes in on the post and says "Quality is the most important. Flowers die, cake is eaten, your photos live forever to tell your story and family." Okay....and? I don't know you, why are you pushing this on me? Come to find out, it's the videographer's mom.
I commented back, "He is still out of our budget. The most important thing is that it is OUR day. We will be together, as one. I don't need a random stranger telling me how to run OUR wedding. But thanks."
I took it as "So if you choose someone else, your wedding will be shit. Who gives a fuck about flowers, cake, etc."
I am BEYOND tired of people I don't know (strangers, not family or close friends) putting their two cents in for our wedding. AITA for what I said?
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AITA for uninviting a friend from a holiday after unwanted advances
|
Background: this is someone who I have known for a couple of years. Stopped hanging out with him(30M now) 5 years ago when he made incredibly forward actions, comments and physical contact towards me(25M) after I had explained to him I was for starters not gay, secondly in a relationship with one of his friends for a couple of months.
So flash forward a couple years and we start drinking in the same pub and chatting a bit, we didn't leave it on too sour a note and always said hi when we saw each other so it wasn't the end of the friendship.
We start hanging out, catching up and seeing each other on a regular basis. During a chat we were having over coffee one day he asked about my sexuality as I'm recently single after a long relationship. He asks me if I would ever experiment. To which I responded; no. I then gently reminded him that we are friends and I'm afraid I'm not interested.
Flash forward a couple weeks, out of nowhere he asks if I'd like to go on holiday on short notice as someone dropped out(group of 6 down to 5).
I accepted, we went on holiday, it was fantastic fun. Untill he purchased a gift I expressly told him would make me feel uncomfortable.
He tried lying saying he didn't purchase the candy-thong after I went outside for a smoke. I could see it in his jacket.
Later that night he hands me the gift I asked him not to buy and I sat down and asked if we could have a chat. I outlined again that I am not interested. I love you as a friend, that is all.
Friendship continues, I'm planning another holiday with some other friends and offered him to come along with my friends he hangs out with too.
All good, on a night out and he made the same in appropriate comments and shouted at me to "come out already". I didn't know how to repsond. I took a day, he texted me asking to hangout for a coffee. I responded by saying I didn't want to hangout today, could we postpone untill I am ready to talk about your comments the other night.
He asked what comments, I explained, he had the same response as previously which was "it was only a bit of fun".
I then reminded him of me bringing up how this made me feel previously and that I asked him not to behave that way toward me.
His response was we shouldn't be friends and all of the presents were just him showing me he loved me like a little brother.
AITA to ask him not to come on holidays after we booked our flights? We each paid separately, but I do not want to go on holiday(to my family's holiday home) with someone who makes me feel that uncomfortable?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "asking my boyfriend to help my aunt with a dog",
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|
AITA for asking my boyfriend to help my aunt with a dog?
|
My aunt found a dog near where she works. The animal control in that county said if the dog is dropped off again, it will be euthanized, because it has been handed over 4 times already there.
We live in a different county with a bigger animal control. I would ride with her to drop the dog off but I am stuck at work. I asked my boyfriend if he would go with her instead (have to have an in-county ID to drop off) and he threw a hissy fit about how this is ridiculous and he doesn't see why he has to go.
It's one of his days off and he is doing nothing else today. It will take MAYBE 45 minutes and he will be riding with her, no driving.
I called around to a few shelters and they are all full, and that's when he finally said "Fine, I'll go." and hasn't said anything else to me.
AITA for asking? I agree the situation is absurd, my aunt needs to stop rescuing every animal she sees, but I don't understand why it's such a huge fucking deal to go do this for me.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "despising my mother",
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|
AITA for despising my mother?
|
Obvious throwaway account.
For starters, my mother does some rude shit sometimes.
I try to be nice to her, but she becomes a snippy asshole so much that she causes me to snap back, leading me to be the one that's pinned as an asshole.
I've gotten to the point where I don't talk to her, and now she's become very pushy and rude, even getting mad at me for not talking to her (even though she's rude)
I've been hitting my breaking point. I don't want to talk to her, yet she pins me as an asshole. So, AITA for completely ignoring and hating her?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "eating her diet food",
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|
AITA for eating her diet food?
|
Gf and I live together. She only works part time so she pays half the rent, but I fully cover the rest of the bills and groceries. She watches what she eats carefully. A lot of salad and these microwave diet dinner and steamed veggies.
In the past I’ve never thought it was a big deal to have some of the salad or veggies. Last night though the fridge was pretty empty of options and one of her diet microwave meals didn’t look half bad so I had it. She got really annoyed saying that she was planning on having that. She said it’s not fair to her for me to eat her food since her diet is restricted and I can eat pretty much anything. I feel like if I’m buying all the food if I want to have one of them I should be able to. Especially considering the lack of other options and that she has several other dinners in there.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "supposedly mocking trans people, liberal arts majors, and minorities in a discussion about college",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 17
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|
AITA for supposedly mocking trans people, liberal arts majors, and minorities in a discussion about college?
|
So, seniors at my school have mostly decided where they want to go to college, and the school (with their permission) makes a list on their website of every senior and where they are going. This sparked a discussion between some of my friends (sophomores) at lunch.
We were talking about colleges, where we want to go, etc. Here was how to conversation went:
Max: Yeah, Wharton's at the top for me
Me: Yeah, I want to go to uchicago, but you know what the say about uchicago?
Adam: What?
Me: The only thing that goes down on you are your grades
*everyone laughs*
Max: My uncle went to Wharton for his MBA. Does that count as a legacy?
Ms: I don't know, ask college confidential.
Adam: You know the secret to getting to every Ivy? Say you're being considered by Harvard.
*everyone laughs*
Me: Nah, you gotta be trans too.
Adam: Yeah, I'm going to *identify* as trans, mexican, etc. Harvard, baby.
Me: Goes up to Harvard like 'hola', lol. Also, you gotta be a refugee too.
Adam: Fine. I'll identify as a refugee.
Me: You also have to apply to gender studies or something like that, cause who the fuck applies to a major in gender studies?
Max: Lol, gender studies kids are the type of kids that can't find a job after graduating and become socialists
Everybody was laughing, except for one kid, who said we were being transphobic, anti-minority, and mocking liberal arts major. I pointed out we weren't mocking trans people or minorities, we were mocking colleges for- in a lot of cases- choosing students just because they're a minority/trans/had a bad life etc. And as for liberal arts, 1) economics, which I want to study, is a liberal arts major and 2) it's not untrue that gender studies majors don't have that many job offers compared to other majors.
So, aita?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b9jkus
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{
"description": "refusing to go on vacation with my mom",
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"contranormative_score": 2
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|
AITA Refusing to go on vacation with my mom
|
Ok, background info, for the most part me and my mom have a decent relationship. Not the case when it comes to vacations. She goes on vacation every year at least once, sometimes twice a year to exotic places like Alaska and Aruba. She was gone one year on my birthday to Aruba because it was the only time we could go, and it was the last vacation my grandfather would ever be able to go on due to dementia, she told me we could go somewhere within a car drive someday, but instead never did. Her justification was that I would have fun.
So, next year I am turning 18. Me and my friends are planning on going during April, as we cannot go in February as I’ll still be 17. I have told her I am not willing to take the time, and will really have to think about the money to go to Las Vegas at 18. She expects me to not go on a vacation with friends I’ve been planning longer, to go to Vegas. At 18. She expects each of my siblings to pay a portion along with me(which is fine at face value) but they’ll all be 21. Here’s the kicker, I don’t have any say where we are going. She claims I do but in reality everything I say is written off.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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9z7m4f
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{
"description": "deleting my now ex-friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for deleting my now ex-friend?
|
I had a fairly good friend who I kept in touch with long distance, as I am working in the United States and she is in East Asia. Last time we got together was before I started my job. I flew over from the US and I brought some souvenirs and a card. We hung out normally and just talked about normal topics friends talk about, like future plans and work life etc etc.
After I came back to the United States, work kept me extremely busy. During this time I also got a girlfriend which she knows about, so this results in even less communication between us, as most of my time is spent with my SO.
Now I still do my best to keep in touch with this friend. Up until today, I tried my best to send a quick message every 2 weeks or so asking how the friend was doing. But I noticed that conversations became harder to maintain, and that a lot of the time my messages were one word replies or just none at all. Furthermore, the times that she actually messaged me were mostly soliciting my help with translation or just buying stuff from the United States. I decided that this was something that was just going to make me more tired, and I stopped messaging her but did not delete her from my friend's list.
Then yesterday she messages me out of the blue, saying that she is kind of upset that we don't talk anymore, and that she is not that happy that we are drifting apart. I wasn't really sure how to respond to this, and since I was at work I just left it at that and forgot to reply. Upon arriving home, I clicked into her profile and discovered that I couldn't see any of her posts anymore. I assumed that she deleted/blacklisted me, so I did the same and removed her from my friend's list and I thought that was that.
This morning she sends me an angry message saying how I was a shitty friend, and how she was an idiot for deciding to become friends with me. She thought she was used, and how I don't care for others and that I should reflect on my definition of being a friend. I didn't reply, but would like to know if I'm in the wrong for doing what I did.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "getting my friend addicted to vaping",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting my friend addicted to vaping
|
Ok, so forgive me I'm typing this in class on my phone, so there will probably be a few errors. So this pretty much started a few months back when I use to vape religiously. I had gotten into it from people at my work and I had recently turned 18 as well. So one day I had gone to the shop to buy another vape, because my other one was acting up. When I got home I remembered that one of my friends wanted to try it as well. Without hesitation (forgive me I should have known better), I gave my old one to him.
Fast forward a while, and now all he talks about is vaping. It seems to be the main thing. Like
"Hey man, have you tried this flavor?"
"Hey man, can you buy me more stuff?"
"Oh, I really wish I could chief(smoke) right now."
So, after a few failed attempts to quit I finally had manage to stop vaping. I need to this time, because I was going to start running track and those two things just don't mix. Meanwhile, my friend is getting worse. Eventually, his vape breaks and he begs me to buy him another one. He would only talk about how he needed it so badly and about how he was going crazy without it. I refuse, because I wanted him to stop, but be told me that he will just get one of his friends from work to buy him one. Later, he tells me that they bought him one and he tells me about how much he loves it. I will also admit I stole a hit off of it, because of the really bad urges. My friend and I (mostly my friend) do make jokes about him to his face, but am I the asshole? Like now he primarily gets the stuff from his other friends at work, but I got him started.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "reporting my neighbor's beeping smoke detector",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for reporting my neighbor’s beeping smoke detector?
|
It’s so freaking annoying. He hasn’t changed the batteries in over a month and it beeps consistently EVERY 45 SECONDS. I never call the leasing office for anything about my neighbors but I feel like I have a leg to stand on since it’s technically a safety issue.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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ankmvw
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{
"description": "getting my husband a gym membership for his birthday because he's obese",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA if I get my husband a gym membership for his birthday because he’s obese?
|
TL;DR: Listed below husband’s health, eating habits, comments from friends, family history, sex life, etc. Husband is always degrading himself. He knows he’s obese, he’s sensitive, but won’t step up. I want to get him a surprise gym membership for his birthday. I don’t know how he’ll react.
I love my husband. We’ve been together 10 years, HS-sweethearts. I’m sexually attracted to him, although my sex drive naturally is extremely low. Alas, story time:
My husband has never been the skinniest guy. He was pretty broad in high school. But not fat either. Maybe a small bit of chub. I’d say he was built athletically for the most part. His arms and legs were muscular. His legs still are and when he flexes they are rock solid. His father was a big man. Tall, huge hands, big neck, and overweight. I believe the largest shirt my father-in-law owned was a 5X. His weight has fluctuated the past two years. And he even donated some clothes when he lost over 100 lbs. before gaining a lot of it back. My husband’s mother, who is shorter, has also went from small to big and back to small in the past 6-7 years.
I could be wrong, but I don’t always believe weight is a genetics thing (educate me if I’m wrong).
It’s 2019, and over the last 3 years my husband does not like me knowing his weight. He is between a 3XL and a 4XL in shirts. Most of his weight is in his gut. I don’t pry into his weight and I’ll even leave the bathroom when he tries out the scale.. but he didn’t shoo me away when we went to the doctors together a few months ago and he had to step on a scale for a check up. He was around 330 lbs.
Now, I’ve been very sensitive around my husband when his weight is mentioned. Whether he’s putting himself down, family points it out, my Dad says I’m going to be a widow before we grow old, my friends ask me how do I even have sex (I’m 5’3” weight also fluctuates between 120-155 lbs over the years but many still call me petite for being a little soft meatball at 155), his friends encourage the weight gain while finishing a package of mega-stuffed Oreos together, or again; my husband calls himself a fat POS. I’m sensitive. But I don’t lie to him. Subtle.
My husband has injured his back 2-3x from falling on ice and had to go to chiropractors, get MRI’s done, stay bed rested on a new firm mattress, pain killers, etc. He’s had to get a new computer chair for work, owns two canes, and a walker (when I bought it, someone saw me carrying it up an elevator to our apartment and thought I was an at-home caregiver to a senior citizen). He’s tried running years ago and his shins would cause him pain so he gave that up. He’s been having stomach problems and throwing up lately. Sleep apnea and snoring so much it’s kept a whole house of 5 people up all night. Kidney stones.. and only Lord knows whatever happens in the bathroom. —basically, the only form of exercise I’ve witnessed him loving doing lately is disc golf, but I don’t even think that’s enough. We last hiked together nearly a year ago up a popular hill side that he couldn’t even finish and started complaining it was too steep, as all our other once-a-year hikes are too.
My husband grew up a picky eater. Loves fatty foods, junk food, energy drinks and soda, and mostly dining out (especially at taco shops) thanks to his parents not cooking much in his childhood nor eating wholesome meals together at the family table. I grew up with high protein, low fat, low calorie meals all homemade. I didn’t even know what Panda Express was for 18 years. If we ate out, it was once a year and a bean burrito from Taco Bell. At home, I try to cook and eat leftovers 5-6 days out of the week but sometimes I even fail at that or have to limit certain ingredients and vegetables that my husband doesn’t like. It’s been better lately and I’ve finally got him to eat onions which is good for the heart. But still..
Lastly, my husband knows he’s obese. His doctor has told him to lose weight a few times. He knows his body will feel better once he drops the weight. My husband is never a person to complain if you have a solution to fix your problems. And he’ll call anyone out on it too. A no BS guy. But unfortunately this is his one downfall for and he does not try to make the change despite knowing how bad it is. I can’t baby him about it. When he last hurt his back and couldn’t move for 4 days, I looked him dead in the eyes and said enough is enough. He sulked and said I’m calling him fat. I sharply responded I said no such thing, all I’m saying, this lifestyle is unhealthy and “you’re sick” and we need to do better. I haven’t had this talk with him again, it’s been months, and nothing has changed.
So Reddit. I need to know. AITA if I get my husband a gym membership to the YMCA for his birthday? For starters. He’s said it out loud before that even doing some cardio in the pool might do him good.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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ay0usx
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{
"description": "asking a woman if I could pretend to be part of her family to ride the train for free",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 6
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|
AITA for asking a woman if I could pretend to be part of her family to ride the train for free?
|
This one isn't too deep but I keep thinking about whether or not I was in the wrong here.
For some background, I'm a 23 year old male. I was riding the train back from work when a middle aged woman and her teenaged son sat next to me.
I noticed that the woman had a family pass, which is good for up to 4 people (2 adults and 2 children).
I asked her in a somewhat joking manner (kind of with a cheeky smile as I spoke) if I could say I was with them so I could ride the train without having to use one of my tickets.
She said "absolutely not" with a bit of aggression and gave me a nasty look. I was a bit surprised by her reaction so I kinda laughed and said "oh well, it was worth a shot" and just listened to music for the rest of the train ride. We did not interact for the rest of the ride.
So I've been wondering, AITA? If the situation was reversed I would have let someone hop onto my family ticket without question; the conductors just go by quickly and check so it's not like anyone would have got in trouble.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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| null |
AITA My friend says I make him feel ignorant, stupid, sexist and like a piece of shit, but I don't think so.
|
The reason for my post here is to see if there's merit to my friend's affirmation. I asked him examples of conversation where I've done this and honestly I don't see it. Since I don't see or understand it, I can't change. I'm here looking for an outside opinion on whether it's true.
Conversation 1 (in his own words)
Him: Even yesterday, I read your message about the feeling of sudden death or that you are going to fall and I said "that would be vertigo, that's in the ear and causes this and that" and I told you. You said it wasn't that because is the death that you feel rather than the fall, and I said "well it could still be, people don't fear the fall, they fear the hit after the fall I guess, I don't know in which ways could be presented". You said "It's definitely not". You are not a doctor. Neither of us is. So you can't say definitely not like that when I just said "it could be" in a regular and no harmful way.That's what I mean when I say you crush me. Even with things like that.
Conversation 2
The conversation got to quotas and "privileges" in universities, companies etc aimed at minorities and he disagrees that they should exist and thinks white people are being left out out. It's unfair and we have no need for that. Like how feminists say we need more women in STEM even though women are ones choosing not to pursue it. So I replied "That's because you underestimate pressure of gender roles and the message black people in certain countries or women get. These are things that begin from when we're born and we have to slowly de construct them."
His problem with this conversation is where I told him he was underestimating societal pressure.
He thinks the feminists in his home country (european country) are a joke, that there's nothing to fight for. I told him that many men in the country I live also think the same way but as a woman I see many issues that still need to be dealt with so it could be the same with his country. I said maybe the problems are ones that only a woman would notice . He gets mad at this and said this is condescending on my part.
Sometimes we talk about a specific or hypothetical situation and if I say I think so so attitude is sexist, or I would be creeped out or I wouldn't be comfortable and he disagrees he gets mad. He talks about how men can't even be romantic anymore and how he's single because feminism has made everything creepy. I disagree and try to explain why I do he gets offended because it means I'm calling him a sexist or a creep. I told him "everyone is sexist, even me" and he got even madder. Even after I apologised and explained that I don't consider being a sexist to being a horrible person but just unknowingly participating in things that oppress both sexes due to our environment and I was including myself too.
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ayr8bt
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"description": "not using a condom for the first 10 seconds with my friend with benefits",
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|
AITA for not using a condom for the first 10 seconds with my friend with benefits? [NSFW] [Long]
|
I shortened this story to keep it in the 3000 character limit.
For some backstory, I had known her for about 4 years. We knew each other in High School and had the same clubs and friend pool but weren't that close.
I ended up telling her during a "how are you?" text chat she initiated that she was hot and she was impressed with my confidence and over the next month or two we progressively got more involved as horny teenagers. Sexting, nudes, the whole shebang. I found out that she was into some kinky things, at least to me at the time. She liked blindfolds, headphones, whips, chokers, being thrown around and smacked on the ass. All of that was new to me and I didn't like the idea of hitting her, but that was her thing and I loved to please. I explained that to her and she liked it.
We ended up agreeing that we would meet up at a hotel when she was in my area and fuck to put it bluntly. The day came around and we actually made somewhat of a date around it. We went to a sex shop and I bought a bunch of toys that she was into and grabbed some food. I bought cuffs, blindfolds, nipple clamps, all that stuff. She asked me when we were walking into the hotel if I had any STDs and I told her no, I happened to have recently been checked for several as part of a routine health check and everything was negative. I actually assumed that she didn't have any before she asked and she verified that she didn't have any. I had sex with a few girls before her, most of which were virgins and none of them were the type that you would even remotely expect to have an STD. We got to the room and stripped, we were both impressed with what we saw and ended up kissing, touching etc. We took a shower together and she got on the bed with her cuffs, blindfold, etc. I had a number of condoms on the bed next to us and started doing all kinds of foreplay until she was ready so I stuck my dick in for a few pumps (maybe 10 seconds) to lube it up right and then opened a condom to put on. She heard me tear it open and said the safe word, took off her mask and by the time she looked down the condom was already on. She asked if I had just put it on and I told her yes, and she was pissed that I would do anything before putting on the condom.
I asked her if she was okay and I was kind of shocked because I didn't expect that I was doing anything wrong. She told me that she was pissed about the condom and was no longer in the mood. I offered if she wanted to stay and watch tv and eat pizza without sex and she wasn't interested so said she was leaving. She offered to pay me for the hotel and I told her no and that she had the right to leave whenever she wanted. I spent the night feeling horrible because I didn't intend to emotionally hurt her like that yet I can't blame anyone but myself. She never told me that she didn't want me doing anything without a condom and I assumed it wouldn't be a problem since it was only a few seconds and she was also on birth control anyway.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
k9c3QTT6hV6etSCW8At28grnPjKi1T07
|
abxwkv
|
{
"description": "ASKING (not expecting) my so to relieve me of my debt (3,000€) after she won 100,000",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 27
}
|
AITA for ASKING (Not expecting) my SO to relieve me of my debt (3,000€) after she won 100,000€
|
Sorry if i come off as a choosing beggar, but there is a bit of a story behind it. Also sorry for any grammatical or spelling mistakes, english is not my first language.
This is kind of an extra long one so buckle up. (I'm sorry for wasting your time in advance).
At the beginning of the year I (m20) didn't have a drivers license or a car. My Gf (19) wanted me to get both, as she didn't want to come over (20 Minute drive) everytime we met. (Public transport wasn't really an option for short visits as I come home late after work and it wouldn't be worth the hustle for just an hour or two). So i bought a car and made my drivers license. So far so good.
I've spent pretty much all my savings on my license and a car (family couldn't help because my parents aren't really financially stable). Later that year, my car had a serious malfunction and i had to pay 3.000€ to fix it (I didn't have the money for another used car either and at least i knew what was wrong with that one was my approach to the situation.aybe it was stupid, but that's not the point of this whole story).
I didn't have the money, so my GF generously lent it to me. Since then I've been doing everything i could to pay her back as much as i could. E.g. I'm eating only the cheapest stuff i can find for dinner if I can't avoid eating dinner all together so I can buy groceries on the weekends we spend together. Btw. I am totally fine with this and still seriously grateful, that she helped me out. Problem is, that she hates spending money, even on small things. So whenever she wanted something but didn't want to spend money i would buy it for her. (Usually small things like ice cream, but 3€ for ice cream is pretty expensive if you have only 20€ left for the last two weeks of the month).
But again i was fine with it as i seriously love her and spending my last money on seeing her happy made me happy.
Today she came to me with great news. She has won a 100.000€ raffle and i was so happy for her. When i asked her if she could relieve me of my debt or at least a part of it she instantly snapped into something i have never seen before from her.
She first started laughing at me and said that i must be joking. Then said, that she loves me and all but money is where she draws the line and that 3.000€ is a lot of money. She also added that she is sure that i would do this for her anytime, but she just isn't somebody like me.
This kind of broke my heart, i mean sure 3.000€ is a lot of money and i would've understood it if she politely said no, but her response just felt so disrespectful. Especially the "I'm just not somebody like you" part.
I didn't reply anything at first as I was kind of shocked of the way she replied.
I didn't know why but i started to do some math and realised what she just really said to me. Maybe my approach to this situation is too logical, idk. Even if she would let me off the hook entirely, that would be about 3% of what she just won, but on a monthly basis i would commit more percent of my entire savings just to make her happy without even thinking about it.
I didn't really want to put a number on love but i thought that she maybe just wasn't seeing my struggle, so i tried to defend myself for asking her what seemed to her as a ridiculous request. I never talked to her about the things I do to be able to afford paying her back and living a normal life when she's around. I didn't mean to offend her or make her feel guilty I just tried to rationalize why I asked.
As i told her what i was doing for her and that i felt deeply disrespected by the way she answered she just started calling me an a***ole and told me to f*** off
haven't heard from her since.
Was me even asking too much?
Was trying to rationalize my request too much?
I seriously don't know,
I see why somebody could feel like I was trying to make it seem that I do everything for our relationship and she did nothing, i never said that and I didn't want to imply it in any way. But the way she responded to me both times just felt like i suddenly became worthless to her.
How do you think I should handle the situation?
She seems to be upset with me and i really didn't want to upset her. I don't really want to do a big apology as I still feel that she treated me terribly, but I can't live with her being angry, I still love her after all.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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"WRONG": 27
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|
RIGHT
|
rZRh1tR2u5rpATZEA3xNA1FumKpmJI6i
|
b0tyvd
| null |
AITA: idk what to do with friend
|
I have a good friend who is emotionally manipulative, and has just gone through a very hard breakup. The girl will be A, he’ll be L
L and a we’re together for 2-3 years, and L was thinking about getting engaged. A, however, found someone from a sports team L played for more attractive and ran off with him.
Your probably wondering where this goes, but that will become important.
L is very very strange. He changes emotional state very quickly and uses this to his advantage.
In the weeks that followed their breakup, i was repulsed with his behaviour:
He deleted all her insta, snap and twitter posts, then denied it
He put up posters saying “have you seen this t*o*, s*** wanted, matching description of A, answers to Sl**ty McSl**face
He threatens her and in the end it took 4 of our friends to stop him attacking her, and another 2 ( and myself) to calm him down.
I knew none of what I am about to write, which is why I go so annoyed.
He bought her a £250-£300 gift for her birthday, despite working part time minimum wage at a local restaurant- NOT fast food. They broke up 2 days after her birthday.
He’d payed all the bills when they moved in together despite her having a better job
But I went crazy at him, yelling, screaming, threatening to call the police, the whole shebang. And then he just disappeared. I don’t know where or how, but I know when and I guess his friend yelling at him is why.
Then, he left the team him and A’s new bf were on, moved apartment and excommunicated all of his friends and relatives. I later found him and gave his address to all his friends, and we helped him through.
But my question is, Am I the Asshole as he had trust issues and his friends were the only support he had, despite 2 sisters, a still living parents and grandparents. And I let him down.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
dxliG7cJnas4zanvsdSTkF8CUrBBB0cz
|
b0ok5l
|
{
"description": "being suspicious and lightly irritated that my MIL is manipulating me/us",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being suspicious and lightly irritated that my MIL is manipulating me/us?
|
My husband's family has a standing yearly tradition of a family camping trip. It's held on the same weekend every year, and MIL expects all of her kids to come (it's basically 2nd Christmas at this point). It has only changed weekends a couple of times in the last 2 decades, causing chaos, sooo they don't change it idly. Also of important note, MIL organises and purchases everything, then divides the cost by person and each family reimburses her for their portion. No one has a problem doing this, including us.
I love this trip. I look forward to it every year, because it's often the only vacation hubby and I get. This year however, the camping trip weekend falls 6wks after my due date.
I made an idle comment to MIL a couple weeks before Christmas about us planning on coming, and massively looking forward to it, while simultaneously hoping that I'll feel up to us coming...basically a hope and plan for the best but mentally prepare for the worst type conversation.
She became visibly irate, and asked WHY I thought we might not come.
....b-because I will have very recently pushed a squashed watermelon out of my baby purse (or if I'm unlucky had my abdomen carved open, rifled through, then slapped back together like a Thanksgiving turkey) and I physically might be in extreme discomfort or pain, rendering the idea of being in an unpredictable, "rustic" environment with shared (and probably less-than-sanitary) facilities entirely unappealing?
She made a face and didn't say anything else about it, but a couple weeks later at Christmas, hubby and I's Christmas gift was a homemade gift certificate explaining that our family's camping expenses were prepaid in full.
I mentioned to hubby that I was SUPER APPRECIATIVE of this gesture, but that I simultaneously feel that she's manipulating me into a position of not being able to say "no" to coming on the camping trip, which I dislike. He was irritated with me for seeing ulterior motives in his mom's generosity.
TL;DR - I tell MIL we *might* not be coming on a traditional yearly camping trip due to my having given birth just weeks prior, she responds by paying for our portion of expenses...I feel she's manipulating me/us into coming, hubby feels I'm being ungrateful and petty. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 19,
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"NOBODY": 3,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
yQsDcXsAqFRky6KV1ZTLtAKlZpJpMpkz
|
9vn2c3
|
{
"description": "wanting to break up with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting to break up with my boyfriend?
|
This might be a little long.. sorry guys!
Yesterday i took my boyfriend to class with me and we were going to go to a Museum after for an assignment i had to do.
I commute a little over an hour to school- its a train, a bus, and a walk away. Everything was fine until we got off the train and onto the bus.
We were making small talk and i mentioned in passing that i might transfer into bioinformatics (im a bio major), and he kinda lost it.
This is kinda how he conversation went;
Me: “yeah i was thinking about doing bioinformatics! [my school was making it a seperate major next year]”
Him: “Thats not a great idea. Youre terrible at math.”
Me: ???? Terrible at math? Do you mean that because i ALMOST got a B in precalc junior year of highschool?
Him: Yes, i mean come on. You were never EVEN in the middle of the pack [in relevance to people taking math classes]
Me: ..do you know how incredibly insulting that is? I got an A at the end of the semester; the final just messed me up but i still got it?
Him: it would be an UNNECESSARY stress on you
Me: literally every stem major is under unnecessary stress. If i didnt want to be under stress then i wouldnt GO TO COLLEGE.
People were staring because he insulted my intelligence so LOUDLY on this PACKED bus. I was so insulted but he just shook it off as if that wasnt the most degrading thing ever. I just walked to class and sat down. I didnt say a word to him after i told him he was being insensitive, i just told him we were no longer going to the museum.
Then after class he wanted to go eat something and i brought it up again
Me “If you think im not smart enough to be in engineering then we’re done here. I dont want to be with someone who blatantly thinks hes smarter than me because he CAN “handle” engineering”
We just sat in silence.
He walked off for a bit, but i waited for him because he doesnt know his way around school nor how to get on the right bus or the right train.
And then he kept talking.
We were at the bus stop and he opened his mouth AGAIN
Him: you were just never exceptionally good at math. You havent even taken calc yet!
Me: you shouldnt me talking because youre NOT even in college yet
Him: i dont think you could handle a college level math class. What? Do you want me to lie? Midterms are hard
Me: (im tearing up at this point because when i get super mad i cry and he was being extremely rude)
And what MIDTERMS have YOU taken? Youve literally never stepped inside your own college MATH class. Who are you to tell me what i CAN and CANT do?! You would never say anything like this to [ insert girl friends we have that are in engineering]
Him: yeah well thats because they were in my calc bc class and theyre actually smart too
Me: (i couldnt stop tearing up anymore)
So just because you took calc bc in highschool means that youre smarter than me and that I WONT be able to handle a bioinformatics major. Youre so RIGHT! (/s) Seriously, stop talking.
We get on the bus and the idiot KEEPS TALKING.
I ignore it
We get to the train station and i walk off to go charge my phone and he follows me
Him: Listen, you dont even LIKE math. And you were never that great in Ap stats or physics
Me: you mean MY FAVORITE CLASSES? the classes i got As in consistently? The easiest AP classes ive ever been in? Who are you to tell me what i LIKE and DONT LIKE?? If i didnt like physics why would i take BOTH ap physics 1 and 2 ? Stop talking
He kept trying to hammer in his point and kept trying to tell me why i wouldnt be capable in engineering and that is super offensive because im not BAD AT MATH. Sure, hes good at math. But that doesnt mean i couldnt handle it.
I was literally crying all day and he just kept talking. He says that im twisting what he said, that he didnt mean to say it the way he did, that he was just being honest, and that i heard him wrong.
Those are all of his excuses and they ALL contradict each other. He didnt stop when he saw me crying at the bus stop. On the bus. At the train station. Nor on the train. He apologized Twice. Once at the very end and once when j dropped him off. They were not sincere because later he kept texting me that he was just “trying to explain” when i literally NEVER ASKED FOR HIS OPINION IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Im still mad.
Reddit, what do you think?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
u13P9DG7xLOpfmwuHvFYWzS1zQ55ngVd
|
b2ugn3
|
{
"description": "buying stuff and returning them if I dont like them",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for buying stuff and returning them if i dont like them
|
So these stores here have "30 day return period" or "50 day return period" and i have been buying a lot of mice recently and most of them just haven't felt that good. I know the shop even advertises the 50 day return period but my mom just says that it isn't right and we cant do that.
First time posting here so im not sure if this is the right type of content.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1sBDQCYcqd4j8kohQTYlEowkOGfHeSUw
|
b7t4sh
|
{
"description": "not going to the grocery store after agreeing to",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not going to the grocery store after agreeing to?
|
Obligatory throwaway.
So I (22f) have been with SO (m22) for 4 years, we've been living together for almost 7 months.
So we'd just been lazing about and he asks if I want to go to the grocery with him before he has to head to a meeting. I didnt need anything from the store, but I was bored, so I agreed.
Backtracking a bit, a few hours earlier one of our dogs vomited on a blanket while on the couch with SO. I cleaned up and put the blanket in the wash. Fast forwarding to when he asks me to go to the grocery, I say yes, but remind him that he agreed to check on the laundry.
He gets dressed and asks again if I'm going with him. I ask him "arent you going to check on the wash?" And his response was "Are you going with me or not, I'd appreciate it if youd turn down the attitude FFS".
Taken aback, I didnt respond. He comes into the room and starts saying how I didnt need to curse at him, but I didnt. He was in the other room so i raised my voice so he could hear me, but i didnt curse. When I tell him I didnt he proceeds to do the whole "uh huh sure you didnt, you're just saying that" routine, and how it's "my reality" that I didnt curse at him but in his reality I did. Which means he gets to be upset.
Now, at this point i was over the whole back and forth, who said what, deal, and told him I wasnt going to the store. I didnt think either of our attitudes would improve if I forced myself to go with him, so he should go alone. He gets even more upset that I wont go with him and says there's a double standard when I'm allowed to curse and be upset with him but he cant be rude to me. I do have a tendency to be emotional and get angry easily, so I figured he may be right and didnt push the issue. If he wants to be upset, I guess that's fine.
He put one of our dogs (technically his) in a kennel and then left to get the laundry. When I asked why he did that, he said it was to stimulate my going to the store with him...weird but it's your dog so ok. He then asked for an explanation for how I thought I'd answered him earlier (if id cursed) and I explained it to him, but he went back to the "my reality vs yours" idea, which led to him saying that he feels like he cant be "his own person" half the time. So I told him I'll let him be upset if that's what he wanted (at this point I'm just confused).
And I dont think he went to the store, bc I just heard a loud sigh from the living room.
TL;DR So am I the asshole for not going to the store because I overreacted at a miscommunication?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
ibbmhQ8PJY5rh5TrfpIzmcvVitkOT7lq
|
aud751
|
{
"description": "not asking my fiancé to make my older sister a bridesmaid",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA (M) for not asking my Fiancé to make my older sister a bridesmaid?
|
My fiancé is friends with my younger sister, but doesn’t know my older sister well at all.
We’re getting married in two weeks, and my fiancé asked my younger sister to be a bridesmaid at our wedding. My older sister heard about this and apparently (she told my family) is upset about it.
It doesn’t seem reasonable to me that my fiancé should be expected ask someone she barely knows to be a bridesmaid.
On the other hand though, she’s going to be the only sibling (besides another brother who can’t make it to the wedding) who is not part of the wedding party. My older brother is my best man.
AITA?
TL;DR family is upset that I didn’t ask my fiancé to make my sister a bridesmaid (she asked my other sister, who she is somewhat close with)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
c4xcwyqj8oSyKhOK1Q4EqdCclC2LEh0U
|
b95v4m
|
{
"description": "bringing up a discussion about a bad holiday with my friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I brought up a discussion about a bad holiday with my friend?
|
Bit of reading there, so bear with me.
6 months ago, I was invited to a country house by my friend, Michelle. I was there with my boyfriend, and Michelle was there with her husband. The house has 2 double bedrooms.
Before the first day, Michelle keeps telling me how someone will have to stay in the living room at some point, since their friends would be coming. It seems the friends invited themselves when they heard michelle would be going to the house.
During the stay, Michelle keeps telling me someone will have to stay in the living room. I eventually get the hint, and tell her I don't mind staying, in a tentative manner. I then asked my boyfriend at the time (who was ill) if he would stay in the living room. He said hell to the no. He said he needed a private room (because of a chest infection) and he wanted me with him, since he's sick. I told Michelle, and she said:
"I don't know what to do then...." over and over.
With me in the room, her husband asked her why she couldn't have her other friends stay in the living room. Michelle said "It's not my hospitality to have guests over and then have them stay in the living room." Her husband also said he wouldn't stay in the living room.
I took it on the chin, and went back to my boyfriend, and urged him to give the living room a shot, since Michelle was clearly not going to entertain the idea of having her other friends stay in the living room. I probably should have put my foot down here and said no to Michelle, but I honestly just didn't want a confrontation, and I didn't want Michelle to be sad...even though I was.
The living room was awful. I couldn't sleep because of the echo from the pipes. My BF became worse, and he was bed bound for days.
Days later, we went home. Michelle has since apologized, not for specifically being inconsiderate or prioritizing her friend's comfort over ours, but more generally, saying "I'm sorry it wasn't great."
It has been 6 months, and just last week, she made a joke about our holiday together, saying "Well at least you won't have to sleep on the sofa again, right? Hahahaha."
The thing is, my BF is still super pissed about the situation, and wanted to cut all contact with Michelle. I said to give her a chance.
My BF was upset about the joke.
WIBTA to bring up the holiday in a talk with Michelle, and tell her all the things she did wrong, and tell her not to joke about it again?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
aejm3r
|
{
"description": "not paying part of my friends ticket that he received while high",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for not paying part of my friends ticket that he received while high?
|
So weed was recently legalized in Canada, and my friends are having a field day. For context, I'm not a fan of smoking it myself as I don't really like the feeling, couldn't give two shits if anyone else smokes though. So the five of us are in my friends car and they all (including the driver) decide to smoke while I don't.
My friend then decides to drive to the local pizza place, but is pulled over by a cop for (rightfully) smelling the scent of marijuana. My friend gets a $500 ticket and expects everyone to pay a share. The other 3 agree to pay but I don't, because to me, I was neither the driver nor did I smoke any weed that night. Their point is that I was in the car and didn't offer to drive.
So Reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 13,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
vthtBpIY23vxQVIxc5HrmU13h5oelJTP
|
ayu7dq
|
{
"description": "not waiting and saving my parking spot for a stranger",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not waiting and saving my parking spot for a stranger?
|
Earlier this morning I was leaving to go to work. It is important to note that I live in a busy area of the city where parking is scarce and the apartments around here supply no lots, it is all street parking. I leave my apartment and go into my car to turn it on and let it warm up for a few minutes before heading to work as it’s extremely cold out. I notice a car behind me stopped and blocking the one way traffic waiting for me to leave so she can pull in. I wave and gesture for her that I am not leaving. She remains still and is now holding up ~10 car as it is an extremely busy one way in front of a major intersection and many people are honking. She then pulls up right next to me and parks and asks if she can have my spot, I let her know that I can not as I need to let my car warm up before I head to work and it will be a few minutes. She then asks if I will wait for her and save it for her until she circles back around. I let her know that I can’t do that as I have to get to work as I leave myself no extra time to make it on time. She then says I can leave the spot now then, to which I again tell her I will not as my car is still warming up. She keeps persisting and is holding up nearly two blocks of traffic. I then give in and tell her I will try because I just want her to leave at this point and for everyone else to be able to move and not be held up in jam. I wait for a little while but then had to leave to get to work on time. As expected, as soon as I leave I see the person behind me immediately park into my old spot. I then see her behind that car. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
MIbqqDFVrLxG7OPf4DWaKFYM0kO0nFdM
|
9u8vbf
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my boyfriend's friend who acts like my house is his",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my boyfriend's friend who acts like my house is his?
|
I came home from work and my dogs were running around the yard. He was at my house, he let himself in because we don't lock the door (we live in the middle of nowhere), he went into my bedroom and let my dogs out of their crates and into the yard. I live on a road and the dogs have to be watched closely if they aren't on leash. I do not trust this person to do this.
We went on vacation and he was given a key to check on the house in case of extreme weather or flooding. When we got back all the weed was gone and there was evidence that he and his family had stayed there while we were gone. They don't have the greatest living situation so I can see why they would want to say a while. However their living situation is not my fault. I lost my shit and while my boyfriend was upset, he thought I was overreacting.
I keep a pencil from my Mom's exchange student trip in the 60s in my art supplies. They are currently in open boxes in the living room. My Mom died when I was a kid and I just keep it there to remind me of her. Boyfriend and his friend were working on a construction project and I'm talking to them then I notice that the pencil is being used. He went into my boxes and got this pencil. It's not about the pencil. It's about my space being invaded.
I've always lived alone and not had to worry about this. Boyfriend thinks it's no big deal but I feel like nothing is sacred in my house and I wonder what else has been taken/done.
I don't do well with expressing anger and just left the house without talking to anyone. My boyfriend has asked me to talk to the friend about it but I'm afraid I'm going to come off as a total asshole.
Do I deserve to be SO ANGRY? Or should I lighten up?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "feeling a friendship wasn't being fair towards me",
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|
AITA for feeling a friendship wasn't being fair towards me?
|
Im 26, shes 25.
Wednesday night I got upset with one of my friends for being increasingly distant towards me the past few weeks. I feel really close to this person and probably the only person i feel comfortable opening up to. Lately I noticed im the one starting 90% of our conversations, and that they are very short lived. Every time another friend was available she would be talking to them instead, leaving me mid conversation, or just straight up not responding at all.
Wendsday I was in a bad state emotionally and wanted to confide and talk about it, but she was more preoccupied talking to other people, whilst I was having a very hard time, verge of crying over a personal problem.
After telling her all this and getting little response, I told her how I felt like she was being distant, and dismissive.
She got defensive and offended saying things like "You're basically saying im a shitty friend" and that she doesn't owe it to me. Not that I expect to get things in return but I just feel like somebody who cares and calls me their best friend would give me a little more than pretty much dismissing me. She ended the conversation by going to bed mid conversation, and we haven't talked since.
I dont know if i should reach our or let her. I feel like I may have lost a friend but I dont know if thats also for the best. I dont know how to feel about this.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "defending myself",
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|
AITA for defending myself?
|
A bit of context, I'm in middle school and I dated this girl for a solid 2 days because she said she liked me and wanted to see how things went. Little did i know she was dating a guy that she dumped for 2 days and then got back with the moment we broke up. I do Mixed Martial Arts and am perfectly capable of defending myself.
​
I come to school the day after kinda sad but it was whatever, I see her boyfriend in the hallway waiting for something and i amused it was her so i let it do but this dude instantly saw me and started marching toward me and already had his hands up, so as a reaction i drop my backpack and get ready for a fight. This dude instantly swings at me and i try to dodge but i catches me in the wrist, so naturally i swing back and connect with his jaw and he's stunned and at that point i had done a take down and we were on the ground wrestling and I finally got him in a triangle choke and I choked until he passed out and i got up and instantly headed for the front office and They sent me home and would give me a punishment as they saw fit. Now his girlfriend is mad at me and so is everyone else because they said i shouldn't have gone that far.
​
AITA for defending myself
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "telling someone to shut up",
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|
WIBTA if I tell someone to shut up
|
Okay so obviously right off the bat I sound like TA, but hear me out.
I sit next to someone in my first period who hums for the entire class period. He has an extremely deep voice, so his humming travels throughout the entire classroom. It is absolutely infuriating for everyone in the class. I have talked with at least 10 others in the class who feel the same way. People next to me and people all the way across the classroom.
Multiple people have asked him to stop humming. He always says he will and continues to do so. It's driving me insane. Every single day I have to bite my tongue to not tell him to "shut the fuck up". WIBTA if I did?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "avoiding a hyper-social old lady with a mental disability who lives in my building",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for avoiding a hyper-social old lady with a mental disability who lives in my building?
|
So there is an older woman (60+) in our building with a mental disability. If she knows your name, every time, she will stop you and engage you in conversation. Problem is, I have seen her conversing with people but she doesn't really register how to detect when people are busy/in a hurry or want privacy.
I have also seen her come to the pool and notice someone she knows. This is followed by her sitting down next to them and talking to them the whole time they are there. She will literally stay there with them until the point the person gets up to leave. I have seen this happen to multiple people at the pool too, whether they are by themselves quietly reading or, like I saw one time, writing thank you cards for their wedding gifts.
Anytime I am around her or end up in the elevator, I am cordial and say good morning if she says something but I do my best to come across as silent and occupied.
The reason for this post was recently I went to the grocery store where she works as a bagger. I forgot she worked there so, without checking, I entered the line a put a couple items on the belt. When I realized she was the bagger I pretended I forgot something, looked at the person behind me awkwardly and said, "Ah, I forgot something on my list, you can go ahead of me." I promtply then threw all my shit back in my basket and walked to bakery and bought a muffin before finding a register that ensured I would not have to encounter her during my purchase or enroute to the exit.
I feel kind of terrible about it all but I know if I go past "polite building cohabitation acknowledgement" then she will incessantly be stopping me and disturbing the little peace I get at the pool.
Also, she hangs out in the lobby *a lot.* I see her no less than 5 times a week.
TL;DR An old lady with a mental disability is always in our lobby (or at the pool) and stops people to talk if she knows their name. I do everything I can to avoid her knowing my name so I don't have to frequently interact or talk with her so I can keep my peace when I leave/enter my building or when I am reading/relaxing poolside.
Am I the asshole?
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{
"description": "talking about my friends behind their backs",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for talking about my friends behind their backs?
|
Whenever my friends and I have problems, I have a really hard time figuring out how to handle it, so I'll ask other friends or make a post here on Reddit about how to handle and fix what happened. I feel really really bad now that I thought more about it and I feel like an asshole.
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HISTORICAL
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axmteq
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{
"description": "calling out a dealership on Facebook/Twitter even after working something out",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I called out a dealership on Facebook/Twitter even after working something out?
|
So I want to preface this first by saying that around 2.5 weeks ago, I was in a no-fault accident where a truck rear ended me at 55+ mph and sandwiched me into another car in front of me. My car was a total loss, and I’ve been extremely stressed out about getting a new one, to the point of crying, because I was halfway done paying off my car, and I loved it.
I’ve been searching for a car since then, and my dad and I found this car that was exactly like mine, but nicer and newer (it was two ‘trim levels’ above mine). Same color on the outside and same model, but the color scheme on the inside was different. I’m going to use made up numbers for the cost, but let’s say this car with a trim level at a 3 would cost 12,500, but the trim level at a 1 would be 10,925.
They advertised it as a three, everywhere, on their website, the car market website, and on the paper attached to the car.
They of course hadn’t added tags titles taxes and their fees, but I wanted that car, and we agreed to drive it off the lot AT 12,500, everything included. I thought I got an awesome deal, and planned to finance it at my bank, because I would just be paying what the car was valued at.
We get to our bank, I’m excited. The bank uses a website to pull up the value of the car, and the bank teller says sorry, we can’t finance this car because we only finance up to the car’s value. I figured it MIGHT be the difference of like 100$ which I’m fine with; but she prints out the paper and it’s a differential of 1500$.
She used the VIN number on their car market website (not KBB, which is what I used, and doesn’t allow you to put the VIN in), and it shows the car I was buying was a Trim level 1.
So of course I’m extremely upset. I look at all the paperwork we signed, it doesn’t have Trim Level anywhere, but I do have screenshots of the web page, showing it’s a trim level four. We call the dealership and they said sorry, they would never do that on purpose, blah blah blah, BUT, they did bring the price of the car down to 11,500, which is ‘all they can do’ because they ‘don’t have much room left to move on the car’.
I really want this car, so I’m going to buy it and pay the difference, but I feel like this was done on purpose and I feel like people should know what happened so they aren’t caught in the same sort of scam. WIBTA to go on Social Media and blast them after I’ve bought the car? Part of me feels like I would be vindicated I’m doing so, the other part of me feels like it would be shady of me.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "being mad at my friends for adding a guy that makes me feel uncomfortable to our group chat",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my friends for adding a guy that makes me feel uncomfortable to our group chat?
|
A bit of backstory, about two years ago a guy I barely knew developed a crush on me. He is a shy person, so instead of trying to start casual conversations, he took pictures of me and stared from afar. After a while of doing this, he tried to approach me, but was incredibly akward about it and I started to feel uncomfortable around him. He wrote a poem to me and I told him I was not interested. He spent the next year asking for advice on how to make me fall for him and made many of the relationships I had with the people whom he asked pretty akward as well. Last semester, he started acting passive-agressively and treating me pretty badly, saying he didn't believe in love anymore because his heart had been broken (obviously alluding to me rejecting him). Around that time, one of my friends befriended him and after her, all of them became friends with him. These friends all knew about my story with him and how uncomfortable I felt around him. Despite this, a few days ago the admin of our group chat added him. When I saw a number I didn't recognize, I asked who it was and they avoided telling me until I was persistent about it.
This group chat was something really important to me, as it is one of the only places where I feel I can express myself without fear. I am not trying to forbid them from being his friends or anything, but I feel very betrayed as they knew how I feel about him.
I have been debating on whether I should tell them or not, but tbh I feel like we have been becoming more and more distant recently. I don't feel nearly as much confidence in them anymore. Maybe I should just let it go and find myself some better friends lol.
Anyway, do I have no reason at all to be mad?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "asking him to sell an old, unused car to pay for our wedding",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 50
}
|
AITA for asking him to sell an old, unused car to pay for our wedding?
|
My fiancé and I have been engaged for over a year. It’s been over a year because we’re not making enough to really be able to save up that much for a wedding. Right now we have enough saved for just basic, barebones ceremonies. I want our day to be special. I want to remember it forever.
There’s this ugly, old car that sits in our garage. He never even uses it. It just takes up space. It was left to him by his dad. I was curious how much we could get for it if we sold it so I googled it and omg this ugly thing is worth $50,000 at least. That’s wedding of our dreams kind of money.
I brought this up to him and he shut me down right away. Wouldn’t even have a reasonable discussion about it and the more I kept at it the more irritated he got. It’s ridiculous to me. It’s just sitting there doing nothing while we are penny-pinching everything!
I’m his fiancé, soon to be his wife. Our assets should be shared and I should have an equal say about what we do with those assets, but he’s not hearing me out at all. He just gets mad every time I bring it up. It’s so frustrating. I feel like the answer to our prayers is just sitting in garage collecting dust.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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9uhy3g
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{
"description": "considering a break up with my girlfriend of 14 months after she kicked my dog out",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For considering a break up with my girlfriend of 14 months after she kicked my dog out?
|
6 months ago my girlfriend (19F) and I (21M) moved out of our parent's houses and into an apartment together. My dog Max is very chill. He doesn't like children or other dogs, but tolerates them unless they get in his face. Max had never bit a person before her though. She and my dog have never gotten along for whatever reason. She has taken snapchat videos of him sitting in his crate growling at her, and has taken multiple pictures of the bite marks he has left on her.
We tried many behavioral changes, and some days were better than others. Two weeks ago after an incident we decided to take Max to the vet where he was checked out, given blood work, and ultimately put on a low dosage of Prozac. Things were going very well. For example Thursday my girlfriend stayed home while I was at work and give Max a bath and they had a great time cuddling and watching Netflix. However on Friday I get a call 2 hours into my shift that Max had bit her and was acting very aggressively. My girlfriend called my parents and had them pick him up and keep him.
My parents love Max so I know he's well taken care of and I can visit whenever I want. But Max has been my dog for 9 years. He has been with me through so much, I have a hard time not getting a lump in my throat thinking about him missing me.
I know my girlfriend tried to deal with Max, but he proved to be too difficult for her to manage. That scares me about the future, what other situations are going to be too difficult to manage? Am I blowing this out of proportion and being an asshole? Should I break things off with a girl who would do anything for me to be with my dog?
|
HISTORICAL
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a0j6b1
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{
"description": "leaving my friend for another without noticing",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my friend for another without noticing?
|
This happened a few weeks ago at my school where me and my friend was buying lunch when my other friends came and I joined them. I'll just use MF for my friend, and OF for my other friends.
A bit of background. MF was having problems with my OF because of something school related. MF was irritated at OF because she thinks that they were not taking their work seriously (all of them are student government). MF doesn't really like anyone in her class and comes to our class to hang out with us, mostly with me.
Now for the AITA. While buying lunch with MF, OF came and I joined them. We go to our classroom (we eat lunch in our classrooms) and I go to sit with OF, completely forgetting about MF. I didn't realize what I did until I saw MF crying.
I came to MF and started to apologize, profusely. Maybe MF thought it was insincere because MF just up and left (I don't blame MF since I don't really know how to handle emotions). I tried talking to MF, and MF said: "I'm fine now". MF even came back to our classroom and we apologized to each other again.
I thought that would be the end, but now MF is completely ignoring me. Doesn't even come to our class anymore, and doesn't seem to notice when I try to say hi. I'm completely stumped. Am I the asshole because I'm the one that started it all? Or do I just need to let MF cool down a bit? We've been friends since elementary and I don't really plan on severing a friendship that has lasted that long.
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HISTORICAL
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b3h5zd
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{
"description": "telling my best friend to leave her husband and move across the country",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
WIBTA if I told my best friend to leave her husband and move across the country?
|
My friend is currently in the transition between jobs. She just quit working her job on the east coast and has one lined up on the West coast next month.
She also got married recently, with in the last 2 months, I can't totally remember. Her relationship has been a bit bumpy from what she has told me. Nothing too crazy, but she says she isn't happy where she is in life and this job is really going to help her since she will be living in the city of her dreams doing a job she loves.
This means that her husband also needs to move across the country too. It appears that he is able to and still keep his job working remotely.
Recently she has made it clear that she and her husband were having problems and that she doesn't feel like he values her and she is treated like anyone else. Ling story short, she talked to him about it and she called me crying and saying that he was leaving her.
The options came down to her staying in a city she hated, jobless, and her possibly working through her relationship to fix their problems, but still no promises, so let's add alone to the list. Or she could move across the country to a city where she has some family (although her relationship with them is a bit rough), a stable job.
I'm her best friend, she doesn't really have a lot of people beside her husband, me, and a couple others. I'm feeling useless and I dont know what to tell her. I want her to be happy, but I don't want her to be alone across the country. She is only 20 and has her whole life ahead of her. I told her to take a couple days and see how she felt then about everything as her judgment could be clouded right now. I personally want her to be happy and am learning towards her going to her new job, but I still would like some others opinions.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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afr3zq
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{
"description": "telling my sister she needs a job",
"pronormative_score": 2,
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|
AITA That i told my sister she needs a job?
|
Mobile, formating, spelling--ya know the drill
Some info before we dive in: my sister is 22y/o, i am 20, almost 21 y/o. My sister (sis), has admittedly been having a rough few months. Her best friend of 12 years randomly told her to fuck off (more eloquently), she had a big arguement with our parents that involved her being kicked out for about 2 1/2 weeks (it was definitely her fault she got kicked out). Shes got a damn pharmacy in her room for one mental illness and another (not a ding on needing medication, but our family dr has a habit of just tossing drugs at us and not having proper tests done. My sister likes our dr because she validates every last thing she can 'relate' to online regarding mental disorders and our dr just believes her. My sister is VERY good with words--its whats going to make her a great lawyer one day--but she definitely pulls the wool over our drs eyes). She only recently started seeing a therapist again, but hes a psychotherapist so he cant prescribe or recommend different drugs. Only listen. And hes great, hes the one therapist shes seen where his opinion actually made difference in her behaviour, but its unfortunate he cant recommend different medications.
For the opinion needed: shes been having difficulty with jobs for awhile now. She quit due to a disagreement that got handled miscorrectly (from management's side) from one job, fired and paid to sign an NDA with another, fired from another where you volunteered yourself for shifts on a weekly basis, and has quit small waitressing jobs in between all that. Shes been unemployed for about 3 or 4 months now and that doesnt fly in my family since she has to pay her own way through a bit. Car insurance, gas, phone bill--ya know, the things that are hers. She also has to pay for her own university and that shit AINT CHEAP. Even with government funding, grants, everything, she still has to cough up a few grand a semester.
And now--NOW she had a job offer, she was told 'this is our orientation, come and join us' and she TURNED THEM DOWN. Shes already had to borrow money from me and our mom. Her car, which is a total lemon, broke down AGAIN and is sitting dead in our drive way with a flat tire. She turned them down because she got a 'weird vibe' from the manager--which, fine, ive gotten that before too but the reason for her weird vibe was because the poor man was doing his job and promoting the fact that their store loves inner promotions and if she wanted a career with them, then thats a viable option. Its a spiel ive gotten from job interviews as well. Its nothing new.
ON TOP OF THAT, she had another interview lined up at a higher-end restaurant (a steak house) and she just DIDNT SHOW UP. I cant even remember the excuse she gave because thats how lame it was.
She cant even do what she usually does, which is sleep all day, because she has class 4/7 days a week. That doesnt stop her from sleeping from 2pm-11pm and then staying up until 2pm again. Its just so unhealthy its worrying everyone. Shes so tired that a small cold that everyone in my house fought off, no problem, knocked her on her ass for nearly 3 weeks (and by 'on her ass' i mean she was bedridden from the damn thing--and, no, she never had a fever or anything).
As i was typing this she came into my room to talk and i told her i wasnt happy she turned down the job. She said she and her therapist said she shouldnt have a job right now but, like i said before, that sort of stuff doesnt fly in the type of house we live in. A job for 10hrs a week (our min. wage is $14) would be more than enough and not be a distraction for her with school (something she used to balance alongside multiple jobs). If she doesnt get a job my parents may force her to by saying she needs to pay rent (I already do, its a small amount, but it ensures Im managing my money and keeping an income). Now i can hear her downstairs getting pissy with my parents and im regretting telling her my opinion--a common occurance, she always makes me feel like shit for opening my mouth.
Tldr: AITA for telling my sister i wasnt happy with her turning down a job offer?
|
HISTORICAL
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auu8l9
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{
"description": "not wanting my fiancé's surname",
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}
|
AITA for not wanting my fiancé’s surname?
|
My partner (M20) and I (F21) have been engaged for a little over a year now and we still can’t seem to get past this issue.
He originally had another surname when we first met, and he changed it about a year ago to match his stepfathers. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but his stepfathers family is a notoriously BAD family. Drug addicts, Centrelink bludgers (Aussies will understand lmao), alcoholics, constantly in trouble with the law and hugely in debt. Just really gross people, not to mention downright nasty people. Whenever you mention the last name, you turn heads in my state. My fiancé also knows this and tries to distance himself from them as much as possible, although I never talk badly about them in front of him because they’re still his family.
So I don’t want the last name, I don’t want to be associated with it because it genuinely will tarnish my professional reputation. I won’t be respected anymore, I’ll just be one of THOSE people. I love my fiancé dearly and he stepfather is lovely, but my fiancé is taking this to heart. He thinks I should do it for him, but it’s so hard because the job I’m after is highly respected and I really don’t want to risk having a bad reputation because of his family. AITA? 😔
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TRbvCoyIEtnjExSs5X1ecETS5lU9aiTL
|
b6xoiy
|
{
"description": "wanting to visit my dad without my wife",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for wanting to visit my dad without my wife?
|
My dad and his wife have a vacation condo at the beach. They live on the east coast and I live in Chicago, so I don't get to see them very often, maybe once or twice a year (last time was Christmas).
Anyways, my dad invited me and my wife to come out for a long weekend to stay at his condo. I'm looking at this as more of a trip to spend time with my dad, and less about being at the beach. Because of this, I asked my wife if I could go alone. If my wife tags along, it will change the dynamic of the trip and turn more into a vacation where we have to find entertaining things to do. Also, my wife works hourly, so any time she isn't working, she isn't getting paid.
My wife said it's not fair that I would get to go and she doesn't. She said that if she can't go, I can't go.
My wife went out to California to visit her family back in February. I stayed home because I don't know this side of the family well, but also because I wanted to give her some time to spend with them. I brought this up, but she said it's a different situation.
AITA for wanting to visit my dad without my wife?
tl;dr - I want to visit my dad at his beach condo alone, without my wife. My wife wants to go and says that if she can't go, I can't go.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
RIGHT
|
CzndbY4mCzzPrB2J0M0PUzPccfVjs9RL
|
ag2u1t
|
{
"description": "asking my boyfriend to ditch one of his friends",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking my boyfriend to ditch one of his friends
|
My boyfriend Henry and I have known each other for 2 years, and have been in a serious relationship for the past year-ish. He's known his friend Billy Bob for a long time. I really didn't mind Billy Bob at first; I hadn't met him until recently, and he sounded like a pretty good guy. However, before I met him I realized that my bf and Billy Bob spent lots of time together. They were taking an EMT course together and studied together a lot. I study a lot too for my own school, so I was happy that they were studying.
I've never wanted to be the crazy, controlling girlfriend who tells her man what to do. It sounds old-school, but I prefer to take on a more submissive role in the relationship since he's the man. I try to be really supportive of his work and social life.
Then there's Billy Bob. I don't really like him. I liked him just fine at first, and then I started to get to know him better. I'm not really a fan of drugs or alcohol, and neither is Henry. Billy Bob smokes/drinks/chews underage, which I don't like. He lives with his parents rent-free and doesn't have a real paying job. He's really lazy and doesn't like working or studying (he barely passed the EMT course and had to retest twice).
When I talked to Henry, he admitted that Billy Bob is lazy and should get a job. He also said that he doesn't like that Billy Bob drinks or chews. Henry's whole family doesn't approve of Billy Bob either, but Henry says he's hanging out with him so that he can "be a good influence".
One day we were eating dinner and Billy Bob texted asking if Henry wanted to go play Xbox. We had already decided that we were going to have a date night together, so Henry told him that we weren't going to go. Billy Bob texted back: "Get your girl and get down here" (quote). Henry asked what I thought and I said it was up to him. Henry said: "I don't think Jenny wants to". Billy Bob said: "Be a man and tell her what to do" (quote). That really bothered me. I try to be supportive and kind, but I don't like being disrespected like that.
Shortly after, Henry and I talked about Billy Bob. I said I didn't really like him and I didn't want them to hang out anymore. He's lazy, doesn't have a job, drinks/smokes/chews underage, won't move out from living with his parents, and is really disrespectful towards me and other women (like his ex-girlfriend). I love my boyfriend and want to support him, but I don't want him to hang out with people like that. He still hangs out with him (every day for multiple hours). Every time I text or call, he says he's hanging out with Billy Bob. I really want him to stop being around him. I don't want him dragged into the wrong crowd. He says he's just "trying to be a good influence", but I don't think it'll ever work. I want them to stop hanging out.
Am I the asshole? Thanks for your answers! It's really appreciated.
tl;dr - my bf's friend is lazy, doesn't have a job, drinks/smokes/chews underage, won't move out from living with his parents, and is disrespectful towards me and other women. I want them to stop hanging out. AITA for telling my boyfriend I don't want them to hang out?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
LX1vTOvaV3CKHyvzhbMJn1AUT2DL4J39
|
aw1gdm
|
{
"description": "ordering a bison burger at a restaurant",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For ordering a bison burger at a restaurant?
|
I work at a bowling alley and every year the owners invite all the employees to a high end restaurant. As I was looking through the menu, I saw a bison burger. I am a huge fan of burgers, and I had never tried bison. A few of my coworkers were giving me a hard time because bison were endangered at one point and it happened to be the most expensive thing on the menu. I defended myself by saying “I’m not paying for the meal and I didn’t kill the bison,” but they continued to poke fun at my decision.
Wasn’t a huge deal, just looking for your thoughts on it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
YVwCw2ccw6ivtvPEVsJKKQO5R7wGSbEh
|
a0r1bk
|
{
"description": "telling a woman to prioritize gas over food",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling a woman to prioritize gas over food?
|
I had just gotten off of work and I'm on the way to Burger King to get some food before I head back to my apartment for the night. Considering it's late at night, the BK at that point had closed the dining room but still had the drive through available. I go through the drive through and as I'm waiting for my food, this woman walks up and knocks on my window and when I roll it down she says in a sobbing voice, "Hey, I didn't realize that they closed the dining room so early, I ran out of gas and am really hungry. Do you mind buying me a 10 piece or 2 of the nuggets so I can eat?" I was kind of hesitant at first and she saw this and says, "I just need some food because I'm stuck here and I ran out of gas and I don't live too far away from here." This is when I say, "If you would like, I can give you a couple bucks in gas instead, that might be able to help you more. But I would like to pay for it in person rather than just give you the money." She then proceeds to say, "Forget it. All I needed was some food until I got some gas," and just walks off all pissed off.
Now I know, I don't know her circumstances and I don't know much about her. She also implied that I would buy the nuggets because just giving her the money won't help because she can't get in and you can't walk through the drive through. She also was not very big nor was she very skinny either, so going a few hours longer without food wouldn't have killed her. But here's my reasoning behind why I did it, if you only live "not too far" away, then surely the money I would pay for the nuggets would give you enough gas to get home to get food & money. Granted it only would've been 3-4 dollars, but here that's over a gallon of gas and most cars get above 17-20 miles per gallon which would've been plenty given the area we are in.
So AITA and if so, what can I do better next time?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
qS4iYkRfkif4LvWPKoSxH5gPqhhMk3Ih
|
abe6t5
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my ex for telling everyone about a lot of personal stuff I told her",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my ex for telling everyone about a lot of personal stuff I told her?
|
So, my ex and I were both depressed, and we used to always go to each other for support. Even though she was coming to me with her problems, she was always dismissive of mine and got angry at me for going to her about it. I found out that she was telling everyone the stuff I told her, and that's why we broke up. Am I the asshole in this situation? I can't help but think I am.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
XboDdbaRzCNp2qq7iJwvWjpeLUUPp924
|
b8lxme
|
{
"description": "contacting my son's girlfriend's parents because she thinks she is pregnant and refuses to find out",
"pronormative_score": 39,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
WIBTA if I contact my son's girlfriend's parents because she thinks she is pregnant and refuses to find out.
|
Quick disclaimer, my son is 17, the girlfriend just turned 16. There is no possible way the baby could be his as they have not physically been in touch since last summer.
It's a newer relationship of not even 2 months.
My son, we'll call him 'Sam' came to me a few nights ago positively sick needing to talk. He told me that his girlfriend, we'll call her 'Jess' thinks that she's pregnant. She refuses to talk to her parents (I get that it is scary) but also will not take a test. At this point she has missed at least 3 periods.
We have talked for hours every day about this.... when I say that he's physically sick, I mean he is vomiting every time he eats, has had a migraine for two days, and slept more than a normal teenage boy (and they tend to sleep a LOT) He has even gotten a cold sore. This child is a mess.
He is going back and forth over breaking up. But he does like her and knows that most likely she is going to trash him if he does.
He is a junior in high school, on track for a full scholarship for baseball (his first game of the season is later today)
They both have their lives ahead of them.
They are currently kind of in a fight because he told her if she didn't find out by the end of the week, he's going to talk to her mom himself...
(Side note this summer my son was behaving like an asshole to her and she screenshot the messages and sent them to me. I dealt with it)
Honestly, it's a bit of a trainwreck anyway as they have different goals, values, morals, etc.
This is apparently not her first scare, until they were in a relationship she had several fwb partners. And Sam is still a virgin by choice because he doesn't want an unplanned pregnancy in his immediate future.
So, WIBTA if after the end of the week she hasn't taken a test, I contact her parent?
Edit to add T to wibta
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 28,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 39,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
RIGHT
|
7f8Urx8foBN3aY9sEDoy9kuRRtyNjfh5
|
a046sk
|
{
"description": "telling annoying customers I'm 19",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling annoying customers I’m 19?
|
I’m 14 and work on front counter at the Gold Arches. I swear every 10th customer asks about my age, and when I tell them, makes a big fuss for about 2 minutes, holding up the line and making me mad. I found out that saying I’m 19 when they ask makes them embarrassed and try to get through the transaction as fast as possible, and doesn’t make me agitated. However, I think this lie may make me an asshole. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
x0PojBsILe5adpa2IICWMO6AEIRRwoMn
|
aufzqb
|
{
"description": "sleeping with someone after having a first date with someone else",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
WIBTA if I slept with someone after having a first date with someone else?
|
Title is pretty explanatory. Nothing is serious between the first person and I, however we did agree to a second date in principle. I don't think this counts as "dating" and there have been no talks of making it official, but I do feel like morally I am kinda committed to seeing the first person through. The second person is just a hookup, so I know I wont see them again, but still feels kinda weird.
​
Thoughts?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
u0CZkzl2R2wi4jV0X9AZ5gYSAo7mHQSA
|
arpv86
|
{
"description": "telling my manager I cant work on a day I was scheduled",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for telling my manager I cant work on a day I was scheduled?
|
This one is kinda a weird one but I really would love some feedback. For context, I work at a subway and I text messaged this to my manager. I am a really good worker and liked by most of my peers. I also fallow nearly every rule. I have came in multiple times to work when I was not supposed to in order to cover peoples shift, worked longer shifts, have a open schedual, and have done some very niche annoying things for the company. I have only been here for 2 months and she is a new(ish) manager. We are also understaffed. The official rules say we need to have a 2 week notice but this came short notice so I only gave a 5 day. Here are the exact texts as they went down today.
"Hey (manager). I wont be able to make it to my shift this Saturday. Sorry in advance for the short notice."
"How come? Also did you find coverage?"
"Its personal reasons and your the first person i told. I can ask around but if I cannot find coverage I still would not be able to come. And if I could pick up the hours on another day I am down."
"Ok this is a one time pass. I will not allow this ever again. It’s a rule that you need to find coverage or you are written up. I’m letting this go this time and don’t worry about finding coverage I will adjust the schedule on Monday"
"Thank you. Again sorry for the short notice. Do you need me to ask around?"
"Also just a heads up never message your manager saying FYI I’m not coming in on a certain day if I find coverage or not. It’s not polite nor professional. Asking for help is the way to go bud. It goes a long way. No I will change it accordingly on Monday"
"It was an emergency and I asked my mom. She told me to just say it upfront because she won't let me go (and that what she does). Sorry if it seemed rude. ^its not my jive but my moms the boss"
"That’s fine, but I would not talk to me like that again. Your mother doesn’t speak for you bud. If things happen that’s fine but again asking for help and explaining that it’s an emergency goes a long way."
Note: Please dont ask what is filling up my day on Saturday! It is quite personal.
TL;DR - I told my manager I cant come in for a day I worked a week ahead. She took it personally.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
8yDdSWzWjMFe5rwbxtZ1okYk2VXSfkjJ
|
b7numl
|
{
"description": "getting a worker fired for a bad Google review",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting a worker fired for a bad Google review?
|
I work for a smallish company that ships product all over the country. We have a few preferred trucking vendors that we give a lot of business to.
One company hired a new driver who has picked up 8-10 loads from my company. Two times he was late for his time slot so we started filling another truck and he had to wait. A few other times, we were finishing up his order so he had to wait as well. He has also had times where he shows up and his truck is loaded and he's out the door in 20 minutes. It's really a crap shoot. He gets compensated for wait times and it's not unusual in the industry to wait for your load.
A few days ago, I was checking my company's Google reviews and noticed a 1 star review from the week before. It was a truck driver saying that he always has to wait for his truck to be loaded and that people shouldn't do business with my company because we are unprofessional.
I immediately called my contact at the trucking company and asked them to take down the review. We are their customer and we give them a lot of business, and I didn't think it was appropriate for one of their employees to give us a bad review because they are unhappy with something that is standard in our industry.
My contact called me today to say they have removed the review and fired the truck driver. I didn't ask for the driver to be fired, but I think I would have done the same thing if one of my employees left a bad review on one of our customers sites.
I do feel bad that he was fired, though. I think maybe I should have talked to him directly instead of going to his boss?
AITA for getting this employee fired because he left my company a bad review?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 18,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mA9V1thpUw0PmADVz4UIDwLfl07FIiwB
|
aj2v3k
|
{
"description": "asking my husband not to use the shovel on the car",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For asking my husband not to use the shovel on the car
|
Yesterday we had rain, it froze and it snowed so I'm working from home today, my husband was out shoveling and when I looked out the window he was using the shovel to remove snow from his car \[caught him doing this last snow on my car and asked him not to and he blew up\] so I opened the door and said hey don't do that on the other car and he lost it again, told me to stop being so stubborn \[not sure that even make sense\] that it was his car too. Then he told me how plastic doesn't scratch!! UGH - my ass it doesn't! So shut the door and went back to work. He did not touch the other car - so am I the asshole for stopping him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
VRdm5L3Y06oYbDzj0jeX4MUFz7XV3HEg
|
a5ge95
|
{
"description": "feeling a sense of dispair/overwhelmed at the thought of taking care of my little brother with Down Syndrome",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for feeling a sense of dispair/overwhelmed at the thought of taking care of my little brother with Down Syndrome?
|
I have a 14 year old brother with Down Syndrome, and im currently 20. Last week, my parents sat down with me to explain our financial situation and how, when they are gone, my brother and I will have to take care of my little bro and provide for him (not entirely) for the rest of our lives. This made me feel kinda overwhelmed and wished i wouldnt have this responsability. And part of me thinks im a piece of shit for it but part of me doesn't. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 21,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 26,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
y8JI2nJW9gxO9ljORmudYQxVDXkM0c16
|
aw94zw
|
{
"description": "telling a girl I didn't want to try and do a distance relationship after the first couple months didn't work for me",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a girl I didn’t want to try and do a distance relationship after the first couple months didn’t work for me?
|
So here’s the story, last summer i started talking to a girl and we hit it off. We had about a month and a half of summer left and things were going great during that time. However we both went to separate colleges and they were 8 hours apart. So after going to college and never seeing her I started to lose feelings, she wasn’t good at holding conversations through text and we didn’t really have the time to FaceTime. About 2 months in she was gonna come up and visit me but last second she decided she didn’t want to drive by herself the 8 hours to see me, which is understandable. But since I wasn’t really into her that much anymore I took her cancelling as an opportunity to tell her how I felt. So I ended things with her and she got mad at me, called me an immature asshole and how rude it was for me to talk to her all that time and just end it. I really didn’t think I did anything that wrong since I lost feelings for her but I wanted to get some other peoples opinions as well. Was I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IabyI4aRdCaKYY4ZDAudrOESCZWLmISI
|
alqqqm
|
{
"description": "kicking a white male author out of a writing club because his story came off as sexist",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for kicking a white male author out of a writing club because his story came off as sexist?
|
I run a writing club at my local community college with my husband, and we had a new guy come in who was writing a new piece. His story was about a society of women who pushed eugenics onto men. Selective breeding. Basically his story was about a society of women giving reproductive rights to men they believed had desirable traits.
I found it incredibly sexist and ignorant. It had no creative value, and it was very distasteful and offensive. Me and one other woman both thought the same thing. We effectively banned him from the writing group on grounds of sexism and promoting incel culture. It painted women as nothing more than villains, even if his protagonist was a female, it still didn’t balance the scales for me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 4
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
wzQqqG1FlcHl0Xp3TJfzaBuClWoeymcM
|
aqfvkp
|
{
"description": "wanting to eat in my own house",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to eat in my own house?
|
I have Aspergers. Part of that is extreme aversions to types of food. The consistency, the textures, the taste the smell. All make me physically ill. So there is a lot of stuff I can’t eat.
I understand this makes my pallet very limited, but at the same time I’m very easy to cook for.
I’m 18, I’m living with my mom. I have a full time job. I took a 2:30pm-11pm shift to make more money. I’m trying to be able to sustain myself.
There’s never anything in the house for me to make it to eat. They load the house up with peppers, shrimp, fish, etc and leave me with nothing. Stepdad is super obsessed with not having “junk” in the house even though he drinks like a fountain and chews Tobacco like a cow.
I come home at 11pm and there’s nothing for me. I ask if I can possible throw pasta or a steak sandwich together and I get “AT 11 AT NIGHT?! LEARN HOW TO EAT ON YOUR LUNCH BREAK.” Even though I only have 30 minutes and again the only thing I could take with me or get there is junk that I’ve boughten myself.
I get yelled at for ordering food, I get yelled at for asking that we have food in the house for me to eat. I get yelled at for asking to make my own food.
Is it too much to ask that something be made and put on the side for me?
I can’t even keep food I’ve gotten for myself in the kitchen because they give it all to the kids. So I have to keep it in my room.
I’m a big guy. I have an awful diet, I know. If I could eat healthier stuff without having an anxiety attack I would but I can’t. I just wanna be able to eat without being yelled at. I just wanna eat at all.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
K5Ro0IRN9jDny5r601Se0iMYcZUq11sh
|
9u4pg6
|
{
"description": "getting snappy with the front desk",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting snappy with the front desk?
|
I visited the reception room three times, called once, called USPS and my local post office to try to find a package that said it was delivered 4 days ago. I went to the front desk for the 4th time and they found my package in the back room (which they said they checked every time I visited or called).
The sender didn’t write my apartment number. I asked the front desk worker why I hadn’t gotten the package the last 3 times I visited, and he said it was because my apartment number wasn’t written. They asked my name each time though to search by name. I then thanked him in an ungrateful tone and told him that next time it needs to be done in a more timely manner.
I know I am a classic angry customer... but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
VJ8nRZITSBqLvrlaj3Cb4GS6aAx8jOLM
|
b574wh
|
{
"description": "getting mad at a friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad at a friend?
|
I don't really know how to explain this in the title.
So I agreed to meet up with a friend and meet someone else. He told me and I thought we were just gonna hang out. To be honest it ended up becoming really uncomfortable. I don't exactly know how it all happened but it was almost like he was trying to control my life in a way. He kept saying how much I should change my major to something else and how I'm not cut out for my chosen one. The friend he introduced me too wasn't a bad person and she was actually fairly pleasant to talk too but I didn't come long so I could be interviewed. I did my best to play along and overall it wasn't horrible but it got worse.
Eventually the other friend left and he started saying about how I should write up a resumé for my life? I found this weird as I had no reason to write one and even if I did need to at one point it's not like I needed his guidance in doing so. The point being I never asked for his help on any of this. But he kept insisting that I should do this and he has to force me or else I won't take charge of my life. At this point I became fairly angry, almost betrayed. A long time ago I told him about how I felt about my depression and this is what he does? It was almost like he was treating me like I was disabled or stupid because of it. And above all, why the fuck would any of this help me? At this point I got fed up and confused and I asked to leave. On the ride back he was telling me about how he was doing this because "he saw me as human" and his explanation sounded like bullshit.
I seriously feel like he was trying to manipulate me or play on my vulnerabilities but I'm not stupid enough to go along with it. But the question still stands if I'm the one at fault here. Maybe he was genuinly trying to help and I got mad for no reason. Maybe I'm being oversensitive. Or maybe there is something with the resume that I'm missing. Or maybe he has a point in general.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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jU1wJ27LQD0rWMmWJhRfYWmntAaLTySU
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b0qrj1
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{
"description": "asking my mom to call me before she comes in my apartment",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my mom to call me before she comes in my apartment
|
My boyfriend and I live in an in-law apartment in my mother’s basement during my pregnancy. There’s a staircase leading into her house that locks from her side. There have been a few times when either my mom or grandmother (who lives in the main house) have knocked and then opened the door without waiting for an answer when they need something. At first, this wasn’t a big deal but lately it’s been happening “after business hours”.
Last week, my boyfriend and I were getting out of the shower when my grandmother called my name. It was around 8 PM. After this, I asked my mom if she could tell her mom that I asked for them to wait for an answer before opening the door. I also have a key, so I make sure the door is locked so they have to physically unlock the door before they open it. I had hoped this would defer the behavior further.
Last night, my moms boyfriend opened the door without knocking and called my boyfriends name. It was 9:30 PM, he was sleeping and I was in the bathroom. I called my mom from the bathroom to ask if they needed anything and she didn’t tell me why her boyfriend called for mine, she just apologized and hung up.
An hour later she texted me saying she had been having a conversation with her mom so her boyfriend was looking to see if my boyfriend wanted to hang out for a bit. I texted back saying that he was sleeping but I’d appreciate a text or a call moving forward before people open up my door. She said she didn’t think I had a reason to be angry and that her boyfriend was just trying to be nice. So I sent a long text explaining that I wasn’t angry but that I thought I made it clear last week that the current system of communication wasn’t working for me, and also that I couldn’t have people shouting down the stairs for me when I had a newborn here so from now on please just text me if I’m needed.
My mom replied bitterly about how it’s not fair that there are strict rules for her to come into my space but not for me to come into her space and that she should be able to knock without there being an issue. And “boyfriend was just being nice”. So I just reiterated that I’m not mad at anyone, especially her boyfriend, that she can set rules for her space whenever she wants, but I’m not budging on this. I told her I loved her and went to bed.
This morning she called me and told me she’d like to “discuss our argument”. I’m dumbfounded. I feel as if I’m not asking for a lot and I wouldn’t consider the conversation an argument. Am I missing something?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
b53dqu
|
{
"description": "making my mom cry",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making my mom cry?
|
To give some context: The relationship between my mom and the family (specifically father) in the house next to us has gotten progressively worse over time. For ease of reading, I'll just refer to the father as A.
The point at which I took notice is when my mom, in attempting to prevent leaves from being pushed by the wind onto their driveway, placed a thin wall around the flower patch dividing our two properties. On coming home from school one day, A promptly opens the door of house, proclaims loudly that we built the wall by cementing on top of his 'wall' and therefore has decided that he is going to contact his lawyer. He then shuts the door of his house, leaving me and my mom gobsmacked. This was about a month ago.
My father works a couple hours away, so he only manages to come back every two weekends or so. My dad comes home, and on opening the door, I see that my dad and A are talking. I go to the door to try and eavesdrop, but I was surprised when I hear my dad, completely calm, hearing A out.
A argues his case, giving one example that, should he want to renovate/replace his wall, he can't due to the front porch wall. My dad notes the incidents between A and my mom, and asks that, as having a good relationship is important, he no longer talk to my mother, and come to him instead. A apologises, explaining that he's had a heart attack, and has been under a lot of stress.
The conversation ends pretty amicably, as A says he needs to cook dinner, and my dad needs to unpack. My dad then walks into the media room, where my mom asks him, coldly, why he's talking to her. She begins to shout, saying that he'd rather 'hang out with his new best friend than see his wife', angry that he didn't defend her 'like a man'. Over the next half hour, he tries to argue that the best way forward is to end the conflict, rather than getting angry at him. For the rest of the day, my mom doesn't talk to him.
After he's left for work later that night, my mom brings my sister (15) and me into her bedroom and asks us our opinion. Being a quite religious person, I recounted a story in which a women laid traps for the prophet every day to hurt him, and when the traps were missing one day, the prophet went to her house, where she was ill, with no-one to nurse her back to health. He therefore decides to do it himself, and following this, she converts. I tried to argue that my dad's course of action was correct, as ending a conflict through communication and diplomacy is always the best course of action. My mother begins to cry and state that my father didn't defend her. She then complains that she thought I would be on her side, and that only her youngest daughter (6) is comforting her, telling me to leave. My other sister then gets angry at me, saying I should have agreed with her, and that I made her cry, which, referring back to religion, is a sin. I try and argue to her that my mom is in the wrong, but she gets angry at me and storms off.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
ax1fso
|
{
"description": "not wanting to recreate my fiancé's parent's motorcycle trip honeymoon? it's great they did it but it's not what I want",
"pronormative_score": 96,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to recreate my fiancé's parent's motorcycle trip honeymoon? It's great they did it but it's not what I want.
|
Posting from a throwaway for reasons.
Background: I am engaged to be married in August. My fiancé's parent's owned a motorcycle dealership and on their honey moon they took brand new motorcycles on a road trip across several states.
Apparently it has always been my future mother in law's dream that her son and his wife recreate the trip. My fiancé apparently bought off on this without consulting me. They just had us over for Sunday dinner and I was presented with a brand new motorcycle. Funny thing is, I've never ridden a motorcycle, I have no interest in motorcycles and frankly they scare they shit out of me. Along with a motorcycle came an itinerary, a set of ridiculous looking leather gear and some cash to make the trip happen. My fiancé was like "aren't you so happy?"
I told them in a way I consider polite but direct that I appreciated the thought but that I was not interested in recreating the trip. All of the sudden it was 3 against one and apparently all of the sudden I'm a complete piece of shit for ruining his parent's dreams. His mom actually screamed at me that they spent some ungodly amount on the motorcycle (I didn't hear exactly but 20k? 30k? more? I'm not sure) and I was being very unappreciative. I excused myself and drove home. I'm shaking from being talked to that way.
Please talk me off the ledge of crazy town, Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
gRbOAv32p5FZep5Nz5EK6jZxuwtdTawo
|
amf4bj
|
{
"description": "being annoyed at catsitting",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being annoyed at catsitting
|
To give some background, I currently work a job where I only get 10 days of vacation a year.
I am also dating someone who lives in the next city over, and we both work jobs with long hours, so we can only see each other on weekends and vacation days.
So this week is a vacation week, and I have three days off. I was pretty excited, and made plans to go visit a lot of places I had wanted to visit for a while.
About a week ago, my brother messages me to say he's going out of town for the holiday and can I go to his place to look after his cat. I'm kind of annoyed that he assumes I won't have any plans, but he says I can stay at his place with my boyfriend for the holiday so I think ok, that could work out. I agree, and think it's all settled.
Skip forward to this morning, the day before I'm meant to go to look after the cat, and he messages me to say that, actually, my boyfriend can't stay. Turns out, he'd never bothered to ask his wife if it was ok for us to stay at his apartment, and had just assumed it would be alright.
So now every day of my three days of holiday I have to make a 3 - 4 hour long round trip to the next city to go check on his cat. This puts a big dampener on me being able to do anything else.
I'm not annoyed at his wife, I understand not wanting people to stay at your apartment when you're not there. I'm just annoyed that I wasnt informed of this before, and that it was assumed I would have no plans for the holiday. My brother is absolutely adamant that he did nothing wrong, and that me and his wife are both completely overreacting for being annoyed at him.
AITA for being infuriated by this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
S05nOlnVnOcHG3SdHK4W55FW3rg7itFH
|
an7wap
|
{
"description": "not liking a kid in my class",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not liking a kid in my class?
|
Hi, first time poster. There is a boy in my class that I just don't like, he's not a bad person, and I try to be nice enough.
He has an anime obsession, a bit of a weeb who isn't the most socially adept. He might be autistic which explains a lot, and that isn't a bad thing. I just can't seem to like him.
He insists on showing me anime which I watch politely. I feel bad for not liking him, I don't need to be his friend but I feel bad all the same.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
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}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
CHukZnHuP5C5HzBW6ZOunB0bbekxWBND
|
axcoid
|
{
"description": "accidentally breaking my friends speaker and offering to buy a new one instead of paying him for it",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for accidentally breaking my friends speaker and offering to buy a new one instead of paying him for it?
|
So this weekend I was hanging out with some of my friends and one of them left their Bluetooth speaker and so we were playing some shitty music through it as a joke to annoy one of our friends. Sometime later I got the brilliant idea to put it in the microwave (we never turned on the microwave either), after doing that and closing the door the music would suddenly stop and we were all intrigued by it so we did for a bit. After a bit of that it wouldn’t play any music and connect and I realized that I’m kinda screwed here if it’s broke. The next day I get to school he’s pissed about it and is demanding about $40 for the speaker even though it’s about $30 on Amazon. I offered him to buy a new one in replace of his old one and he would just get angrier with me. At the end of the day we’re at our usual spot where we wait for everyone before we go out to the bus and everyone else is pissed at me after offering to buy him a new one instead of overpaying him. I get home about half an hour later and I see that he blocked me and nobody is responding to my messages so I got on and figured this would be the best sub to share to.
TL;DR
Put my friends speaker in a microwave and broke it so I offered to buy him a new one but he won’t accept it
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 8,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
YBLrcCocdllHcLkml0OG4hbUmU7CeETa
|
acschi
|
{
"description": "kicking out my destitute uncle",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for kicking out my destitute uncle?
|
I'm going to separate this into two parts that are both equally important. Backstory oh, and the current situation.
Backstory: My uncle is the last person alive on his side of the family. My grandmother was murdered by her second husband in 2008, and my father passed away six years ago 2012 from a heart attack. All of his cousins and family are gone, me, my mother, and my brother are it. He is going through a nasty divorce, and he has become an alcoholic.
His wife filed a PPO against him and he came to stay with us, he never exactly asked for permission. And that's probably because we are the only place he has to go. He has also been jobless prior to staying with us for a year and a half.
Before he came to stay with us his wife was only giving him rice and eggs to eat because he had no money to go buy food. I would sometimes go down and give him food. I also helped him get his current job after he arrived, and I'm currently trying to help him get his truck up and running.
Current situation: Over the past 6 months it has been hell, we have very basic rules in my house. Clean up after yourself, no smoking in the house, no drinking in the house, be respectful and kind to everyone. Every single one of these rules he has broken, we caught him smoking in our house at least a dozen times, drinks himself into a stupor almost every night. When he is drunk he is absolutely not himself, he often goes on rants about us, and start verbal fights over things as minor as walking to heavily in the house.
The outside of our house is littered with hundreds of cigarette butts, and he stashes all of his empty whiskey bottles behind the couch, which has effectively ruined the carpet. We have a pretty beasty video game & movie collection, which we have had to physically remove from the house because he would never take care of them. I will be surprised if our Lord of the Rings extended edition ever runs again, he also broke our Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2.
But he is my uncle, and we are all he has. When he is sober he is mostly fine and doesn't do even half the shit he does when he's drunk.
So yesterday we told him that at the end of the month he has to leave, his reaction was not good, he started getting emotional and was talking about how he has nowhere to go an why his only family is abandoning him
I want him gone, but I feel awful. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
huohFYaqHG7UbNAeLihcyiATYT3nRuPB
|
azzjwf
| null |
AITA because my landlord is fucking useless?
|
Ok so to summarise because I am currently furious.
My landlord lives in the house I rent a room in and is constantly running out of gas so I can't always have a hot shower after work/gym. He also never cleans anything because his wife left him and did all his housework and laundry and I'm convinced he doesn't know how to. He has started putting food in my freezer because he can't fit any in his because it it full of out of date food. To top it all off, he scraped his car along a wall and tried blaming it on someone else because he was drink driving.
I am constantly calling him out on his bullshit and I feel like I'm the asshole because only one of them really affects me and the rest are more of a personal nature.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZPuqr1I42fZswfUDv1wV1VLO89fBG9mF
|
b89uh9
|
{
"description": "refusing to loan my dad money to cover his mortgaga",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to loan my dad money to cover his mortgaga?
|
My dad and I (28M) have had our ups and downs throughout my life but the last two years have been good. My dad got fired from his longtime time about 3 years ago and my parents divorced last year. He hasn’t gotten a job since and is only making a little side money doing photography. He has never really been good with finances and that became apparent as I got older. He made pretty good money and he should have had built a really nice savings up but instead he has tens of thousands in credit card debt and has filed for bankruptcy 3 times in the past. I remember him always spending his money on random expensive things but still he should have plenty of money. He never bought clothes, drove an old car and he bought their house for 100K about 15 years ago. I honestly have no idea where his money has gone.
I found out from my mom last week that he was really struggling and that he is putting his house on the market. He burrowed 2K from my mom and my uncle took out a personal loan to help him out over the past 3-4 months. I was shocked by this because 2 months ago he bought a BRAND-NEW living room set even though his old couch was perfectly fine. How can he burrow money and turn around and buy a living room set?
Anyways, I knew that he would eventually ask me for money and today it finally happened. He came over and asked for $1,500 and that he would pay me back this week. He said he doesn’t have enough for his mortgage. I told him that I am not as well off as he thinks I am, which may or may not be true depending on your outlook. I own a business and things have been going really great this year and I have finally been able to save a good amount of money but this is my wife’s and I house fund that we’ve been working hard towards. I also told him I was hit with some unexpected bills (TRUE) and I couldn’t help him right now. He didn’t press me about it which was great.
Technically yes, I can loan him money and not be hurting but seeing his spending problem worries me. Two other people have already loaned him money and he took that for granted. He's refused to get a job, any job in the past 3 years and spent money he didn't have. He made his own bed and he must lie in it. The question is though, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Jg4DHdilz54V0k3sVx3pPnOpe76Gl68V
|
a9fokg
|
{
"description": "telling a child she would never find Dory",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling a child she would never find Dory?
|
This has bothered me for awhile now. So my friend and I decided to go watch the movie Finding Dory and sitting in front of us was a mother, a father and a daughter. The mom was texting so that bright screen was already pretty annoying. Once the movie starts the kid went nuts! She started running up and down the theater pretending to be one of the characters. She was so loud. I even saw her throwing her candy at some of the other movie goers and laughing at them when they asked her to stop. So my friend nicely tells the kids father “ Hey, your daughters being kind of loud...” He immediately cut my friend off and said. “Well I guess you didn’t have a decent childhood. Your parents never let you be a kid?” We were left speechless. Then the daughter proceeds to stand up on her chair. She then slips and falls backwards. Thank god I was behind her and she landed on me. She could have cracked her head wide open on one of the seats but I said something that I feel kind of bad about. I looked her in the eyes and said “You’re lucky that I was here or else you probably would’ve cracked your head open. You better sit down quietly right now or else I am getting the manager to kick y’all out and you will never find dory if I do that!” The daughter sat quietly in her seat for the rest of the movie, the dad stormed out angrily never returned and the mom never looked up from her phone. After the movie the daughter apologized it was really sweet. Unfortunately though the Mom finally looked up from her phone and said “Don’t apologize to that jerk!” Then her and her daughter left the theater.
So I ask AITAH for saying such harsh things to a kid? I’m starting to feel like I should have just gotten a manager to begin with. Not to mention the daughter was so sweet in the end. I feel bad.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
cjE0agnYIfcbwSHrKlRKAMcFV7NCfkqX
|
asp563
|
{
"description": "freaking out on mom after she calls my dog a mistake",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA I freak out on mom after she calls my dog a mistake
|
All right this happened a few days ago, so my uncle and my dad were talking about something and my mom threw herself into the conversation and started complaining saying he was doing something wrongly (p.s he was doing everything right) after he tried many time that what he was doing wasn’t permanent to no avail this got him mad and he yelled at her and walked out of the house. Now we just got a puppy she’s the cutest thing you’ll ever seen. It took me 11 years to convince my mom to by a dog (I’m 14) and she knows she means the world to me, and I know that she’s not the biggest fan of my dog and complains about it constantly. The rest goes as follows, I pick my dog up as I didn’t know how she would react to the arguing after my dad stormed out with my uncle. I bring here in my arms to the kitchen where my mom is and kinda give a ok kind of sigh. She then proceedes to say this dog was a mistake, it’s causing me so much problems. I then proceed to freak the fuck out and get mad at here she says some things back and runs out of the room crying(p.s I would also like to point out that this is not the first time she has called getting my dog a mistake and every time I’ve gotten mad I was a little more mad because she was acting like she was the victim when we have all been doing everything and having trouble) so am I the asshole
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
LZG7gSJyP5q2yMU3LGB1Yp22vsQ85bVq
|
9voydl
|
{
"description": "getting vocally angry at people for psyching me out with fake punches",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting vocally angry at people for psyching me out with fake punches?
|
I tend to flinch a lot when things move towards me relatively fast, and I know a handful of people who think it’s the funniest thing in the world to try and psyche me out by pretending they’re gonna punch/slap/kick/etc me, then stopping a few inches from making contact. It works every time.
Problem is, I really hate this. It makes me uncomfortable at best and furious at worst. Every time I’ve told someone to stop, they’ve gotten noticeably more distant towards me, with the exception of one person who I’m still very chummy with. I don’t wanna alienate these people, cause I genuinely enjoy hanging out with them aside from the takeouts, but they really aren’t enjoyable. Is telling them to stop an asshole move? My biggest worry is I’m just being too rude about it when I do bring it up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lhgaxbleJzqK4FndLrwDz5hyAQ6GhFgS
|
b0chxe
|
{
"description": "telling a friend they shouldnt get a dog",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling a friend they shouldnt get a dog?
|
I have a friend who hasn't really gotten their life together. She's 25, lives in a camper on a friend's property and when not doing that, she crashes on friends couches. She drives for Uber just enough to pay for gas and food and that's about it.
The other day she texted me a picture of a cute yellow lab puppy and said she was getting it on Friday. I know she's super excited that get it and I know having a dog is good for so many reasons, but it's also a huge responsibility.
When I mentioned that she lives in a camper, I should stress that it's extremely small. It has room for a small bed, has a toilet and makeshift shower and then a small folding table. Its the size of a large closet.
Anyways, I told her that the dog was going to get to be pretty big and asked If she thought she had enough space. She didn't understand why I was asking that and so I said that getting a dog right now, regardless of size is a bad idea, as she's barely taking care of herself.
She got off the phone pretty quickly and I haven't heard back from her since. Was I in the wrong here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 12,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
HxphvAH1culbMBvEUsNSmyuew5h7kQih
|
a3tcse
|
{
"description": "stealing my stuff back from the guy who stole from me",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I steal my stuff back from the guy who stole from me?
|
This happened in Europe, I am from Canada.
​
I was interning abroad and my luggage was taken on my charter (Flixbus) bus ride to Amsterdam Schiphol Airport. Unfortunately, even though I immediately figured out who had taken my luggage (due to the fact that his luggage was left on the bus), I had to catch my plane back to Canada. He had taken it off the stop before.
​
I got in contact with the man who swapped luggage with me. He lives in Italy. I contacted the charter bus to see if they would help us resolve this, but they were and still are absolutely useless and are not jumping to help in anyway. I have given up on that route. They wouldn't even offer to help bring my luggage to another part of Europe... even though they have routes all over Europe. Even if they did, it would take me another year to see my luggage again.
​
This man who took my luggage is essentially ghosting me. I've been messaging him on WhatsApp trying to get my luggage back for over 4 months now. He makes excuses such as he's busy with work, he's waiting for the bus company to get him back his luggage, or he tried but can't figure out how to ship it. I get it, shipping to Canada would cost over 400$, and he says money is tight for him right now. This isn't money I would even be willing to pay to get my luggage back.
​
I decided to give him an easy way out and tell him to ship to Berlin, where I have a family friend. And there would be a chance that someone I know could come get it from there in the near future (around Christmas). I let him know this about a month and a half ago, he sounded actually interested in this, but continued to reply slowly. I told him to do it ASAP, as my friends will only be in Berlin until the end of December. Again, I got the sense that he wasn't very interested in shipping my luggage for me, and was just trying to get me to give up.
​
As a last ditch effort, I told him that if he does manage to get my stuff to my family friends, I would cover the costs of the shipping (this would be around 80 euros). AGAIN, I told him he has to do it ASAP because shipping takes around 20 days from Italy to Berlin using Standard. He wanted me to pay first before he shipped, I obviously refused, and he stalled a bit more. I told him I would contact "transport authorities in Italy" (I was BSing, but I was frustrated that there wasn't anything I could do) and he actually seemed to make a move on shipping it and got some quotes for prices.
​
He still hasn't shipped it. He tells me he definitely will at the end of this week (so... tomorrow). However, because he waited so long, he has to pay express shipping (120 euros), which is about 80$ CAD more. He still expects me to pay this.
​
Yesterday I told this story to my roommate and she was like, "Why not just NOT pay him, MaplelikeNine? It's your stuff and completely his fault. Get your luggage and ghost him like he did to you." It was his fault... our luggage looks NOTHING alike and mine is significantly larger. If he was paying even a slight amount of attention, this swap wouldn't have happened. He also wasted so much of my time and money now by not trying to fix this earlier. But I did tell him I would cover whatever the cost of shipping was as long as I got my suitcase first. I definitely feel like this is morally unethical... but uh, am I in the right to do it? I don't know.
​
So, yeah. If I didn't pay him or at least paid him much less than I promised him for MY STUFF that he originally took, would I be the asshole?
​
tldr guy took my luggage accidentally. I want it back. He doesn't want to pay for shipping. I offered to pay after I got the suitcase back. Debating whether or not I'm a horrible terrible person if I just ignore him after I get my suitcase back.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
zkYyNZ8zgZojXYhF31SkmTO6YXk8xEt0
|
atd5ur
|
{
"description": "not paying into my best friend's bachelorette party",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not paying into my best friend’s bachelorette party?
|
This may be long and confusing, apologies in advance. Also: dirty, dirty mobile user.
I am maid of honor in my best friend’s wedding (to an amazing guy and they both deserve the world). I live in Seattle and the bachelorette party is in South Florida. For reference, everyone else is only a couple of hours drive from the location. I had every intention of going, bought the plane ticket, booked the rooms, etc. Something came up and I am unable to make it (car needs $2k of work and fiancée is leaving for a couple of months so I wanted to spend this last weekend with him).
I paid for my share of the rooms, gifts and decorations. It was roughly $500 per person. I told the rest of the girls to let me know if there were any other incidentals so that I could contribute towards.
They are now telling me that I also need to pay for my 1/8 of the food that was ordered in restaurants as well as gas money to drive (the food is almost $600 per person and the gas was only about $60 per person). I told them I would pay my share of the gas because they were going to drive me around when I flew in, so I do think that’s fair, but I am absolutely not paying for the food they ordered in restaurants.
They are up in arms. I am suddenly the villain. They told me that they are to tell the bride to cut me in the wedding altogether and I shouldn’t even bother showing up. I feel like this is kind of ridiculous, but my bride (god bless her soul) is so impressionable that I feel like she may feed into it. She is arguably one of the most important people in my life, and the thought of this happening is destroying me.
Should I bite the bullet and just pay them? Am I the asshole for refusing this and standing my ground? Will I be cut from the wedding (just venting on this question)?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
eNF7b9GLExJjozV6Df6UN1GfKjYEJDNH
|
aly1d6
|
{
"description": "not wanting my niece in my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting my niece in my wedding?
|
So I'm getting married in October and everyone tells me, "It's your wedding do what you want!" but it doesn't feel that way...My fiance and I got engaged in July and shortly after she started doing all the planning. One random day in August my mom texts me if my niece can be a junior bride's maid (didn't even know this was thing). Now, me and my niece, who is 11, don't really have a relationship. I've been around her since she was born but that didn't help us establish a connection. Now being the first grandchild of both sides of the family, she was very spoiled from the beginning and got way with everything. My mom, has probably been her biggest enabler. Let's her get away with anything without any consequences. I thought this would phase out but here we are today. When I see my niece at family functions I say Hi and how are you?..nothing...won't even go out of her way to greet me or my fiance. When I was child, this behavior was completely unacceptable and would have been scolded for not greeting my uncles. Now back to the question of Junior brides maid. I tell my mom I don't know I'll ask my fiance. At this moment I had a bad feeling due to her behavior and should have said no, I didn't. My fiance and settled on her being a flower girl. In my head great everyone is happy, my niece is in the wedding like my mom wanted and my fiance keeps getting to plan the wedding of her dreams. This is where it all goes down hill. At the end of October, we invite the bridal party over to announce, well, that they are in the bridal party. My fiance puts together a little box of party favors and a balloon to pop that asks her friends if they want to be a brides maid. My sister, nieces mom, is a brides maid. When she shows up to my house, she brings my niece and nephew. I thought it was just going to be her but they are her kids, wasn't upset. Upon my sister popping her balloon, my niece immediately got upset because she didn't get a balloon to pop. My dad escorted my niece and nephew out of the room before she started crying. Now, I was in the other room with my groomsmen so I did't see any of this go down. A couple minutes after the balloon popping, my mom corners my fiance and wants to know why my niece didn't get a balloon to pop for being a flower girl. My fiance, stunned, said I don't have a balloon for her to pop and my mom was disappointed. She was planning on doing something else for the ring bearers and flower girls when letting them know they're in the wedding. Since my mom or sister already told my niece, no point in that anymore. Later that night, my fiance told me what happened and I wanted to confront my mom but she told me no and not to make a bid deal out of it. I should have. As the weeks and months go on my mom's attitude towards my fiance changed. Whether she admits it or not, the tension was growing. Recently, my fiance started to pick out flower girl dresses and was sending links to my sister for her to buy them and have my niece try on. My sister becomes difficult. Not ordering the dresses and/or not responding. My mom even makes a comment to my fiance one day that she made my sister's flower girl dress for her aunt's wedding and everyone loved it. Why? So we finally get pictures of my niece in the flower girl dress to she how she looks and she looks absolutely miserable. In one picture you can even tell she's fighting with my sister. My fiance, is immediately stressed out. She is worried that my niece will not cooperate on the day of wedding and cause a scene. She still doesn't want me to say anything but I call my dad to vent. He blows up the whole situation. My mom immediately called my fiance and assures her that she'll drag my niece down the aisle if the she has to. WTF. My mom completely missed the point and now my fiance is furious at me for saying something. I decide at that moment my niece can't be in the wedding. It was going to be a no kid wedding but I would still like her to be a guest. I go tell my parents that she can't be in my wedding for all the reasons above. My dad 100% agrees and gives me "It's your wedding, do what you want!" My mom seems disappointed but agrees. My dad even made the point I don't even think she wants to be in the wedding. I tell my sister afterwards, she's disappointed and says no hard feelings. Over right? No. Today, I get these long texts from my dad (to be honest I think it was my mom) to reconsider and almost bullying me into having her in the wedding. I still say no and now silence from my mom, dad, and sister.... Now I ask you reddit, Am I the asshole for removing my niece from the wedding?
TLDR: Getting married. Asked by my mom to include my niece in the wedding who I don't have relationship with. Things go sour due to my nieces difficult behavior and my enabling mom. I decide she can't be in the wedding. My family is clearly upset with me because of the this decision. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
NasdG7HmGSEXnF6XfM6B1wxDrljSQGxP
|
b9yuwv
|
{
"description": "not giving my father any money even though I donate to charities",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving my father any money even though I donate to charities
|
So my BF is really upset at me and it's causing a lot of arguments. I was so set but now I need outside advice.
I'm the oldest and things were ok with my parents until my dad's company took off and he became a giant abusive asshole. He never hit the kids but would throw stuff and call us names. He walked out when I was in college with a mistress less than 10 years older than me and ignored our existence by selling his company, leveraging a ton of debt and moving out of the US. I was fucked, didn't qualify for financial aid, we lost everything to creditors, had to drop out and struggled for a few years. It was a wake up call to how much we had in terms of money but how abusive he was. I ended up going back to school, ended up with an advanced degree and am very comfortable right now. That's when I met my current BF. He is amazing, kind and has a wonderful family. He sees the well off side of me, generous and giving a ton of my income and time to various organizations. He never saw how bitter and broken I was trying to get back on my feet.
My cousin reached out on Facebook which is weird because they called us the worst things during the divorce and cut off contact. I had changed accounts but they found me. Long story short he's really sick and needs money for medical care.
I have been wise with my spending and I could easily pay for his care. In fact it's less than what I donate. My boyfriend is horrified that I'm saying no to helping him. He says that my dad paid for my living expenses growing up and I had a very comfortable life up until he left. I'm torn. I spent my childhood trying to protect my mom and little sister. She's still emotionally recovering from our dad ignoring us even though she reached out when she was a minor and all the emotional abuse. I spent years trying not to think my existence was a mistake.
It's also been over 10 years since I've seen or heard from him. It's not like he's asking for a kidney but now I'm afraid everyone in my BFs family is going to think I'm heartless. I want to marry this man and I can see his face change when we have these arguments. He doesn't get why I won't budge even though it's not really much for me. He doesn't understand how I can be so kind and generous to friends and strangers while letting my dad suffer. He doesn't like this side of me.
Tldr, I said no to helping my dad who left and my long terms BF thinks I'm an asshole. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
eJyL3xZfM9RDN5AEEEd2NaMiruilfyuA
|
awxpy5
|
{
"description": "expecting my wife to still agree with the deal we made 5 years ago",
"pronormative_score": 107,
"contranormative_score": 37
}
|
AITA for expecting my wife to still agree with the deal we made 5 years ago?
|
This situation is complicated. My wife and I met while I was just starting med school, and we fell in love and everything was great. I am very dedicated to my career, so early on the topic of children was always "in the future, when I'm done with school and residency, so I will have a 9-5 job that pays well and supports a family." At that time, my wife (who was at the time just my girlfriend) agreed.
The summer before my final year of med school, we got married, and when we talked about future children, the plan was still "in the future" when I have a 9-5 job. My wife is a bank teller, so her hours were always good but I want to be around for my children, so we agreed to stick with the plan.
A few years later, my wife confessed to me that she had always hoped that I would change my mind about children, and that she does not want to be a mother. I was shocked and heartbroken, and I told her that we should probably file for divorce, as I believe children are important and I want to pass on my genes and keep my family line alive. (I am an only child). My wife said we could avoid getting a divorce. Our relationship is otherwise fantastic, and I love her more than anyone.
So here is my wife's solution: I should ask my friends if I could have sex with them so they could have my child. At first I was resistant because I thought divorce was where I wanted to go, but when I reflected on the topic, I realized that I loved my wife, and I was unsure if I could love another woman as much as I love her. So, we made an agreement. In 5 years, when I was a full physician, I would ask my friends if they would agree to our situation. My wife and I worked out the details at that time. I would offer child support (because money is not a problem for us. I was blessed that between scholarship and my family's funds, I did not have to take out loans for my education), and I would not be a father to the child; however, if the mother would allow it, I could visit and be like an uncle.
So that was 5 years ago. I have the job I want, and I have two friends who said yes. One is my two good friends who med school. They are married, but the husband is sterile, so they were planning on finding a sperm donor, but they prefer me, and said yes. The second is a friend from my residency class. She is currently single and has no plans on ever getting married. Again, she was planning on finding a sperm donor, but when I offered, she said yes.
When I told my wife the good news, she was appalled. She said she never expected any of my friends to agree to this sort of deal. Now, I am upset, and divorce is back on the table because she is going against the agreement we made 5 years ago. She states that it is ridiculous that I would think she actually would accept that I father children to other people. She says she hoped that none of my friends would accept and that I would have given up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 107,
"EVERYBODY": 27,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 107,
"WRONG": 37
}
|
RIGHT
|
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