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aiph8o
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{
"description": "being upset with my best friend while she's going through some stuff",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset with my best friend while she’s going through some stuff (and I’m going through my own)
|
I wanna talk about this. But the last time I went to reddit to vent, it back fired so bad. I feel like I can’t ever post anything online bc she’ll always see it or recognize the story.
The last few weeks, she’s been going through a rough patch. I always try to stay by her side and not be hurt when she doesn’t reply to my texts/calls. But recently she’s just given up. She’s put a lot of pressure on me, saying that she’s only happy with me. That I make her so happy and that she wouldn’t be alive without me. She means that. She wouldn’t be alive to this day if I wasn’t by her side. I do a lot for her, I’ve given up parts of me to be there for her. Now I admit that I’m the one who tends to be closed off, but whenever I try to talk about what’s bothering me she’s at work, or doesn’t see my text, or just straight up ignores the text. For example, one day I tweeted something about having a bad day. I get a text from her asking what’s wrong and i replied with 3 things.. she didn’t even respond til hours later after I sent another text asking her something. Straight up blew me off which only made my day worse.
Then a few weeks ago she was taking care of my hamster but I left my hamster in my apt while I was on a trip bc my friend said she’ll watch her until she could drop him off with another friend of mine. All she had to was put him in his little kennel thing and put his cage in the car as is bc I ran out of litter and my friend who was watching him was gonna change it for me. But instead, My best friend dumped out his entire cage FULL of litter onto one of his play boxes and left it there for 2 weeks until I got back. WHO DOES THAT?! WHY?!
I came back to my room smelling like a fucking horse farm and little bugs and ants everywhere. I couldn’t even sleep in my room I was so disgusted. I slept on the couch for 2 days bc I was pissed she did that. I’ve cleaned up after her dog AND cat a million times. She’ll call me from work begging me to go over to her place and change the cats litter box bc she forgot. Or to go clean up after the dog bc he had an accident and “you know I can’t handle it after work. Can u please just go over and clean it up for me? I’m so stressed out.” And as much as I hate it some days , i still do it thoroughly. Bc I know she has OCD, so she has her standards with things and I do it the way she asks me to. But really?! She couldn’t have taken 5 minutes to dump the litter in a trash bag?! And i never brought it up to her bc her life shit kept piling up on her and like I stated, she would just ignore anything I brought up that didn’t relate to her.
I remember one day she texted me while she was drunk, and asked if I could tell she was. And I replied with “yes bc ur actually acknowledging my texts AND replying.” She “ouch that hurt lol” ........ hmm truth hurts sometimes
Well now it’s today, and she was supposed to check on my hamster the past 2 days while I was busy. I never received a text back yesterday about him. I ask my roommates to check on him, and they say that they’ve been watching him and feeding him bc they assumed my friend was coming but she never showed up. Yet she told me she saw him and was fine. I understand she’s going through stuff right now, but if anything there is an animal that needs care and she is ignoring him. No matter what I was doing or how I was feeling, I got up and checked on her pets.
okay sorry the format is weird, I’m on mobile and I’m just really flustered and let these (and some other) smalls things pile up again and just needed to vent it out. thanks for reading :-)
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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b4f5p4
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{
"description": "calling the cops on my neighbors",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling the cops on my neighbors
|
Some back story, I live in a small college town in “student living” apartments. The other week night I was peacefully sleeping the night before a test when I was woken up at about 2am to the sound of a movie playing ridiculously loud and the neighbors screaming along to it. It was loud enough that I could figure out exactly what movie it was. I got out of bed and walked over to their house to knock on the door and politely ask them to turn it down a bit and maybe not sing along. No answer. You could also hear the movie in the hallway loud and clear. I go back to my house and try to go back to sleep, they had stopped screaming but i could still hear the movie.
About 30-45 minutes go by and they start screaming again to another song. I get up go to their door again, no answer. At this point I had been up for over an hour and gone out into the COLD to try and resolve this myself so I call the non-emergency line to report a noise complaint. The cops go by their house and the tv immediately goes off for a short period of time. After the cops left neighbors decide to start banging on the shared wall knocking down several of my things and scaring my dog then turn the tv back on. AITA for calling the cops even though I went by their house multiple times?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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|
ar2fct
|
{
"description": "going to a wedding instead of a funeral",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I went to a wedding instead of a funeral?
|
Monday my grandmother's husband passed away and the funeral is planned on the same weekend that my friends are getting married on.
I've known my grandmother's husband for basically my whole life. I've never bonded with him but I also have never had any trouble with him. I only want to go to the funeral to be there for my grandmother.
On the the other had I already bought plane tickets and a hotel room a month ago for the wedding. The total price was about $350. I also agreed to help pay for the bachelor party. I can't get refunded for the tickets and hotel.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
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NOBODY
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
ScmY4cRVHp4OALucq32MYo3vPaLnFR75
|
afi8lo
|
{
"description": "treating my girlfriend like this",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for treating my girlfriend like this?
|
My girlfriend and I, we've been dating for a little over 5 months but we're childhood friends so we've known each other for almost 11 years and have been through a lot together. She's away visiting family right now and was feeling pretty miserable and I've tried to be optimistic telling her it'll be fine she'll be back soon, and it was okay at first. But, the past few weeks she's been getting colder and colder not really ignoring me but clearly not caring about our conversations, she often just responds with "mhm" or "okay" and I don't really blame her for that I know I'm not always interesting to talk to. When I ask her how she's doing she just says meh or that it's not going good and I ask what's wrong but she just tells me to drop it and she doesn't want to talk about it. Last night I apologized because I couldn't think of something to talk about and she said "just leave the conversation if you don't want to talk. Don't apologize and try to make me feel bad" and that kinda hurt that she would think that's what I would want, she struggles with depression and has mood swings but not like this, she's getting distant and isn't showing any affection anymore. Am I the asshole for not being supportive enough please tell me I'm okay with being in the wrong, I just want her to be happy
Edit: I'm adding this even though there's no way it'll be read again just to say this relationship has ended it was rough the first few days and it's still hard on me but I have friends that have really helped try and keep going with my life. Thanks for everyone that assured me I wasn't totally crazy.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b36fv5
|
{
"description": "being pissed I've covered for the last 20+ days Straight and won't be given time off",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Being Pissed I’ve Covered For The Last 20+ Days Straight and Won’t Be Given Time Off?
|
So I have worked for this company for 3 years. It deals with property management and I work for a fairly large company. My office however is very tiny. Just 3 people total that work in the office (2 full time 1 part time). Part time covers all weekends (every Saturday and occasional Sunday depending on occupancy) except if scheduled in advance and agreed to by me as I will be the one covering/working extra.
As it is a small office we will make deals covering for each other so we don’t have to waste our sick/vacation time. Ex. Leave at 3 to go to dr and let coworker leave at 3 the next day as a trade. I did this for two days for a trip to WA a few months ago but nobody had to cover me (as someone was already going to be there) and I worked two extra days *before* going to compensate. I’m extremely reliable and never take vacations or call in sick.
Part time had a school thing in another country for the week of spring break. This is all fine and dandy. I am told I will be given time off when she gets back in order to cover it. Sundays shouldn’t be an issue because our trend is high. Well. Both weekends I had to work Sunday due to occupancy. So I have worked 23/24 days straight. I’m exhausted and I’m also a mother AND a student. When I was told I’d be given time off it was made to sound like I’d get like a 4 day weekend at least. Part time is back this week and boss tells me to pick which day I’m either coming in late or leaving early to compensate myself. I’m dumb founded. 3 hours late or leave 3 hours early one day is all I get for this? This is bullshit. I worked an additional 22 hours on top of the 48 per week I’m already there for two weeks. My anniversary was Sunday and because of the occ I had to miss it.
Nobody had to work extra time when I was gone and I’m not being given the compensation I believe is fair AITA For Being pissed off? I never ever want to do this again.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
DVZVdZabtvEWDRtUQDPhlnfFP0j0P4WQ
|
9u93ns
|
{
"description": "making this dude sound really bad to some close friends",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for making this dude sound really bad to some close friends?
|
Let me preface this by saying it happened almost 3 years ago.
I was spending some time around a guy a little older than me, I had been cuddled up with him for a while when he started getting handsy. I was told in no uncertain terms that I might as well like it because he would not stop, even after being told to knock it off. I was fine with him kissing me, when he started putting his hand down my pants. I didn’t say no, because I didn’t believe he would accept it like he had failed to do earlier in the day, or that I even could. I didn’t walk away, I didn’t fight it very much, I didn’t say no at that moment. Much later on, I did do similar things with a very clear agreement. I was also dating a guy at the time that wouldn’t let me talk to him to break up with him. When I told this story later on to some friends, some went as far as to call him a rapist. Am I the asshole for painting this guy in such a negative way when I didn’t do much to counter it?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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7jxyzrYR6k4FifSz8ZMA0nIDo1WNkR07
|
b21ggq
|
{
"description": "not paying for someone new grill",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not paying for someone new grill?
|
About 3 months ago some friends and I went on a trip to Canada and stayed at an airbnb. the night before we have to leave the outside temp is supposed to be below -15°f. one of our drivers (the one I rode with to and from) drives a ford truck. ill refer to the driver as Heath.
Now Heath drives a diesel truck and apparently you need to plug them in on cold nights or they might not start. so the night before Heath drives his truck through the snow to get near an outlet at our airbnb but doesnt bother to check if the outlet works. so of course the next morning comes and his truck wont start and we need to leave ASAP before other residents come (we found out at about 8 and need to be gone by 11).
so him and another person go out looking for starter fluid and me and the rest of the guys try to push his truck out of the snow so we can try to jump it. well since the temperature was freezing the plastic grill on his truck was brittle. while me and 6 other people are pushing this truck my shoulder happens to snap a fist size chunk out of the grill.
Heath comes back and i show him and apologize. I offer him money then and there and he refuses and says not to worry about it "I needed a new one anyway". well about three weeks ago he messages me and asks me for 50$ for his new grill out of the blue (im in college and definitely am tight on money).
am i the asshole for not wanting to pay this? he told me to worry about it. and didnt mention it the whole 13 hour ride back. not to mention the whole 2 months that have passed since the trip. Im not particularly close with this guy and have no problem saying no.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
7Y1ACvP3owumHi24VNplEW2TWTY1Ai4p
|
a0di9p
|
{
"description": "not being a Christian/believer",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not being a Christian/believer?
|
I'm in a serious relationship with this girl, she's my best friend and THE person for me, and speaking overall, everything is great between us. However, she is a devout Christian, and I never have been. When we got together, everything was set to go except for one thing, she needed me to go to church with her. I agreed of course and have been going for a few months now, but each time I go, the most desperate I become.
I have never been a religious type of person, but I have never actively rejected it either. I figured I would quickly become religious or faithful, but I haven't. It appears as though I am drifting even farther from religion as time goes on, I just don't see any logic in it. I TRY to believe it, I TRY to have faith, but I can't feel it. I don't see how people believe in it, I can't connect with it. None of it makes sense to me, none of it fits. I don't know what to do, and I hate it.
Church is miserable for me, she's Pentecostal so they get pretty into the preaching, and I feel like an awful person for not agreeing with what's being said. I'm constantly stressed out in service, it's pretty clear that I'm unhappy at times during church, and I think she can see it. I worry I'm going to upset her or offend her, and I don't want to do that. I do try to sympathize with the Bible, but it makes no sense to me. I feel no draw to the faith. I would do anything for this girl, that's why it tears me up to not be able to become a Christian in any sense, it feels impossible.
I feel like I'm in the wrong somehow here, this all makes me feel awful. I feel like it's my fault for not believing. Am I betraying her trust by not being "holy"? Am I in the wrong here?
(I'm in no way blaming this on her either, it's not her fault I'm unable to become a believer.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
qtvKgoWJ62K4n1o0gTWlsGUAaRDVF0jP
|
apnhmv
| null |
AITA who yelled at my husband bc he didnt cheat on me?
|
My husband and i have been together 14 years, married 10 and have 3 children. In our whole relationship, we never had problems with infidelity. I trust him completely, and vice versa. Our sex life is amazing and we get along so good. We our partners and bestfriends. Not a perfect marriage,no marriage is, but we are both happy and content with each other.
Im 36 and my husband is 40. He looks 25. He is very handsome, he takes very good care of his body. Everytime we go out, women are looking at him, alot of young women. Doesnt bother me bc i know he is mine, so they can look all they want.
He comes in from running errands and proceeds to tell me how this pretty girl asked for his number. He jokingly said, " See how much i love you and my kids? A beautiful young lady asked for my number and i turned her down"
Maybe it was the bad mood i was in but i exploded on him. I said,
" Am i supposed to be grateful bc you are faithful to me?? Its what youre SUPPOSED to do!!"
He replied,
"Not all men are faithful though (before i met him, i had a couple relationships where the man was unfaithful to me) so yeah, you should be happy that your husband loves and respects you enough to be faithful "
I was floored. I felt he was being very arrogant,like im supposed to thank my husband for upholding his vows???
I also mentioned how ive also had guys come hit on me and ive always stayed faithful,and never expected gratefulness for not cheating. He brushed me off saying, " Men hit on women all the time. A woman turning a man down is nothing,bc shes used to it"
I stormed out of the kitchen and we have been civil toward each other but a icy civilness.
So am i the asshole? Am i blowing things up? I just kind of felt he was being very cocky about it. Who says to their spouse they are lucky to have a man/woman who doesn't stray?!? Its supposed to be that way!!!
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
4VUJGyc1tab56ZpV8xDZmiZl4bMShNc7
|
as636d
|
{
"description": "leaving my gf almost right after I told her I love her",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my gf almost right after I told her I love her?
|
oh boy this is one hell of a story, but it's not terribly long.
well, I'm kind of the weird person that dates people online before meeting them. so I'm dating this girl, right? and we have been calling / facetiming each other and texting for a while now. about 3 months. so one day I told her "goodnight, sleep well! text me when you wake up" and she said "goodnight, you too!" and then in a desperate message she said something along the lines of "almost told you I love you ahah" I took this as kind of a hint that she wanted me to say it. so I kept that in mind. well, our conversation carried on despite us already saying goodnight and it being 3 AM. we were talking and getting really flirty with each other, like we do. but she told me something that she's been hiding from me- and rightfully so. apparently... she was married already. but she told me not to worry, and that they never talk any more and that her parents wanted it and that she didn't actually love the boy and all. it being 3 AM, I justified this. I brushed it off. at the end of the night, before we both went to bed, I told her I loved her- and I did. it wasn't a lie. but morning the next day I realized what she said. she's married. not dating someone else, literally married to another person. we were dating over the internet (with plans to meet btw)- how am I supposed to know she never talked to the guy. how can I trust her to be faithful to me if she couldn't to this guy- she said she dated him for four years before marrying him, and then she left him. how do I know she won't do that to me? I told her what I was feeling, and that I don't think I want to pursue a relationship and that we should part ways, and never talked to her again since that morning.
so reddit, AITA for saying i love you and then leaving, or is it justifiable being how easily manipulated I can be in the moment?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b1e3ub
|
{
"description": "telling my friend \"forget it, it's not like your ever going to get it anyway\"",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA For telling my friend “Forget it, it’s not like your ever gonna get it anyway”
|
This is about me and one of my close friends. So, me and my fellow friend are a lot into tech. Yesterday, when we were talking he mentioned that he wanted this razer gaming headset. I told him that he was never gonna get it anyway. This is because I know his parents, and they wouldn’t buy it for him. He got really pissed at me and called me a “Dream-Crusher”. I thought I was just being rational. I wanted to avoid what had happened last time when he wanted a pocophone. He had asked for it for Christmas and never got, it ( he only got a Nike hoodie). He was pretty upset at his parents for this. I told him that he should ask for something more in his parents budget. After coming home and replaying this conversation, I realised I sounded a lot like a ass. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
VFPtrP1IwnnASo2WTqxizsu8w2zyha59
|
9yysl7
|
{
"description": "telling my roommate to clean her room or I will move out",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA by telling my roommate to clean her room or I will move out
|
... or am I better off just getting through the lease and leaving in April?
I love my roommate. They are one of my greatest friends. Ideally, they would remedy the issue and we would sign an extension on the lease. That would be my end goal.
#### Backstory:
My roommate has a cat which I knew before we moved in together. We agreed that the litter would stay in my roommate’s room since I was concerned about my dog going through the box. Both animals have free roam of the common areas as do we, and we each take our animals in our rooms for the night.
I don’t know if it’s a litter issue or a cleaning issue, but the cat started peeing on anything and everything a few months ago. I begged my roommate to take the cat to the vet which they begrudgingly did but apparently the cat was so poorly behaved the vet could not take blood from it. The cat was treated for UTI, but the peeing has continued.
#### Issue
The cat odor is insufferable.
At this point, the entire apartment smells. I have purchased an air filter, dozens of air purifiers, and cleaned all common areas. Nothing covers it for more than an hour or so. My roommate claims she smells nothing and cleans properly after any accidents.
A neighbor has complained by leaving a note on the door and I suspect we’ll be served a notice to cure between thanksgiving and Christmas.
Beyond possibly getting evicted, the smell is unbearable. The entire apartment smells like ammonia. My eyes water. There’s no pee yet that I can tell on my furniture, but I suspect the cat gets free roam while I’m not home and has accidents that aren’t cleaned fully.
#### TL;DR
My roommate’s cat pees everywhere. The whole apartment smells like pee. My roommate does not smell it, but a neighbor has complained and I’m afraid my landlord will take action.
Would I be the asshole if I threatened to leave, possibly sublet my room, or otherwise find a way out if she doesn’t fully remedy the issue? Or am I better off covering up the odor as best I can and just making it through the lease?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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aid8rp
|
{
"description": "demanding full payment for my services up front, instead of half at the start and the rest after",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA For demanding full payment for my services up front, instead of half at the start and the rest after?
|
So I have been working exclusively for a smaller company, they offer me projects with payments ranging from 5,000 to 10,000. All up front. I have done this for three years.
Recently I have realized that I could make more money freelancing, so with my previous employers blessing I have started working for other companies in different areas.
Many people in my profession accept partial payments. I do not and I do not feel comfortable doing so as you never know who you can really trust.
So anyway, I accept a job for 25,000 from a company I have never worked for before. They needed this done quickly so they offered a high number without haggling. They did not tell me "half up front and half later", they simply gave me the money which I immediately noticed was light by 12,500. I ask whats up, and they say that i will get the other half after the job is done.
I say thats bullshit, and that I want all of it upfront or no deal. They take this as an insult that I dont trust them (which is true) but I just say I dont work like that. In the end I return the money and they're not using my services. I was also threatened because apparently I wasted their time or some bullshit.
Now the person who set me up with them says I just burned a bridge and that I fucked up badly. Oh well, I can go back to working for my old boss, whatever. My logic is that even though its a supposed industry standard if you dont specify before the fact you cant blame someone for not being cool with it. My contact says that I should have told them I wanted all of it since I was the one doing things weird.
So whose the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
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|
a3pfob
|
{
"description": "leaving my family's bussiness for my dream job",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my family's bussiness for my dream job?
|
First of all, excuse my poor english. It's not my native language but I hope I can make myself undertood.
​
I'm currently working at my family's bussiness. My grandfather founded it almost 40 years ago, and it's been run by the family since then. After he died, my father took control of it, as he was the older of 3 brothers and had been in the bussiness for longer and had more experience. His brothers were still involved and all seemed to be just fine.
​
About 5 years ago, we found out that my uncle was stealing huge amounts of money and that the bussiness was almost broke. It was really shocking for us, specially for my father, as he 100% trusted his brother. Of course everything went downhill since then. As you can imagine, it was a massive family conflict. They managed to legally exclude my uncle from the bussiness, got him to pay back some of the money, but it was actually a little porcentage compared to how much it was missing.
​
By this time, I was starting the get involved in the bussiness. In part because I needed a job, but mostly because I wanted to help my dad in this rough time. His other brother had a stroke because of the stress and couldn't do much. We took a couple loans, had to let go some employees and restructure the bussiness. After almost 3 years of struggling, we payed the loans we got and reached financial stability. Eventhough I don't really enjoy my job, I decided to continue because the pay was ok, I already knew the bussiness and, to be completely honest, it is hard to find a well payed job in my country.
​
I've always enjoyed drawing, and I think I'm fairly good at it. But it's a hobby of mine and I never thought of it as something to do for a living. About a month ago, a friend contacted me with the project leader of the company in which he works. He showed him some of my works and he was very interested. I met him by Skype and a week later he offered me a job. Eventhough is a starting possition, I would make in a month what it would take me almost 6 months in my current job. I would get payed in american dollars, which is not really common in my country. And, on top of that, I get to work from home without a schedule. I said yes without hessitating a second.
​
When I told my family I would leave, they got really mad. I told them that I will train someone to fill my place, as I won't have a schedule in my new job, so I would be able to still dedicate some time to that for a couple months. That was not good enough for them. They said it was betrayal, that I have to continue with the family bussiness, just as my father did. None of my siblings are involved in the bussiness btw, so I don't understand why it's my responsability to do it. It is awful, as literally every member of my family is against my decision. Even my uncle's wife is mad, eventhough she's still getting paid for the job my uncle couldn't do anymore because of the stroke. It's really messed up.
​
I will, nevertheless, take the job. You get oportunities like this once in a lifetime. But it feels really bad how my family reacted, even those who are not involved in the bussiness at all.
​
So, Am I the asshole here?
​
TL;DR: Family bussiness almost went broke, I helped to save it. A couple years later I get offered my dream's job and my family gets really upset because I accepted and left the family bussiness.
|
HISTORICAL
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gZBPjZscDj3U8MEBXu5wt8kZWEuYdJa4
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b973mw
|
{
"description": "breaking down on my parents after multiple comments on my weight",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for breaking down on my parents after multiple comments on my weight?
|
For context, I am 5'4 and weigh 120 lbs. I think this was the highest weight I've ever had.
I've had a past full of people telling me that no one would ever date an ugly person like me. I got more and more comments about my appearance, not weight-wise but facial things like scars, acne, my skin tone (I'm Indian brown even though majority of people around this city are Mexican), my face shape, etc. I had a very fast puberty, basically woke up in a similar form of a different body. I suspect the growth spurt started around 3rd grade as I got confused as to looking way older than I am. I have stretch marks, scars, acne, etc. The thing that started to trigger negative thoughts were the clothing I wore.
My parents get me sizes way more bigger than I am, and at first I thought it was because I was growing in height. I later found out that it was because they expected me to get fatter.
They made comments that I was lazy, I would get obese, I would end up in the hospital, they'd have to get XXXXL clothes for me one day, etc.
These added up with the comments that if I washed my face more I'd get light like my mom, if I washed my face more I wouldn't have this ugly face, etc.
On my 11th birthday I threw up the birthday food because I was upset about my weight. And the cycle slowly turned from Bulimia to Anorexia. Luckly, I managed to stop before I weighed less than 99 lbs.
Recently thoughts of eating and my body has spiked to a low because I was petrified what I'd look like at my prom photos. I kept these thoughts secret as I thought I'd get over it.
One day my parents talked about how lazy I was and I'm gonna end up like this woman on TV (she was morbidly obese).
I fucking broke down. I told them (everything I just said above) and if they wanted a thin daughter than don't give me food at all. Was ITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
H1XY8TPVMuo7XtJbvSNnii5ezikZqDAk
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a0h6io
|
{
"description": "not wanting to date the friend of a tinder date",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to date the friend of a Tinder date?
|
Throwaway account yada yada yada.
A short time ago I broke up with my gf. I signed up to Tinder just to see what happens – searching for neither hookups nor new relationships. Just browsing. I matched with A who seemed just a bit too enthusiastic about meeting me.
Well, I went to the date and met B instead. She explained the situation like this:
* A's Tinder game is weak and B, as her friend and as a psychology student, helped her out by taking over her Tinder account and texting with several guys, including me.
* When B set up the date, A got cold feet. She didn't know me, after all. So A threatened to stand me up and B felt bad and went instead.
Weird flex, but okay. I asked her how they could have thought this was a good idea, but was determined to have my coffee. So we did and grabbed some food afterwards. All in all quite alright as a date, and we agreed on meeting again.
In the next morning, A started texting me.
* In her version, it was all a ruse to get B out there. B is pretty busy and neglects dating, so A tricked her into finding someone on Tinder and meeting them (me).
She was pretty proud of herself and spammed me with the face-with-tears-of-joy emoji (which may or may not have made me a little bit miffed). I chose some rather plain words to express my unhappiness with being the collateral damage of their double game.
I still intend to meet B a second time (as promised), but I have to admit that this whole situation pisses me off. It's not B's fault, but I still don't see a real future. Am I the asshole for bitching about the setup?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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|
b7ws30
|
{
"description": "deliberately failing a medical test to get put on a less harsh treatment",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for deliberately failing a medical test to get put on a less harsh treatment?
|
As a kid I was diagnosed with cancer, the op was successful and removed all the tumor but my kind was particularly aggressive and known for spreading, So I was but on the harshest chemotherapy regimen possible after I finish the absolute maximum I could of radiotherapy, There are no words to describe how absolutely horrible and terrifying cancer treatment is let alone going through it as a kid, but I overheard a doctor telling my parents that the chemotherapy causes damage to the inner ear and that they will only give me so many treatments until it starts badly effecting my hearing. Childhood me wanting the least pain and suffering then deliberately missed a few noises and added a few in to the next hearing test because the treatment was hell and at the time I just wanted to stop feeling so bad, And it worked they dropped my to a less potent version that had less sevear side effect
Admittedly in hindsight I want to travel back in time and beat some sense into childhood me for pulling such a profoundly stupid stunt when my life was the cost of it fucking up, but to this day I still feel an unease thinking about it. I'm not sure if this is the guilt of lying or the fact I gambled my life as a kid for a small reprieve of suffering in a very shitty situation.
For a bit of context I was not a double digit age at the time but I was old enough understand somewhat what was going on. I knew it was cancer and I was told multiple times I wasn't going to die by the doctors and consultants treating me.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
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|
b37998
|
{
"description": "giving $1 tip for pizza delivery guy",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for giving $1 tip for pizza delivery guy?
|
For the background - I'm from Poland, where tipping is gratuitous and usually reflects gratitude for a good service. Today I've ordered pizza from Domino's, paid about $15 online, including $3 something for the delivery. When the delivery guy came, asked for a sign for receiving the pizza and asked by tip. I was already surprised, because as I mentioned the tip in my country is voluntary and waiter/delivery guy never asks for it, but after I wrote "1" in the tip section, the delivery man said that the delivery fee is not a tip, and that 1 dollar is a little and that he had to go upstairs to deliver my pizza etc. I politely said no and went back to the apartment. Being curious, I've done some research suggesting that the MINIMUM tip for such service is $3 or 20% of the order. And if I'm giving less I'm basically an a\*hole and should make my own food if i cannot afford to tip, as many redditors say in [this thread.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/7njhpf/people_who_dont_tip_pizza_delivery_drivers_why/)
My way of reasoning is that the tip should be given only for good service, is voluntary, and that I've already paid a fee for the delivery - and It's employer duty to pay his workers. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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WRONG
|
onb3cB88xWApq99OxmOVKwR3zVEbSPD9
|
9wjki0
| null |
AITA Ive lusted over my Best friends GF
|
## I'm either in love with my best friend's girlfriend, or I'm just discovering what it's like to be alone.
My best friend got a girlfriend about a year back. She ticks pretty much every category when it comes to what I believe is the perfect girlfriend, which makes sense that my best friend would go for her seeing as we are hella tight buds with heaps of common interests.I have never really felt alone before; I've always been able to keep entertained/comfortable. But when I see them together, I would feel sort of empty or cold (mainly in the chest). With his previous girlfriends, I would never have this feeling. This is essentially the reason why I'm confused about what I'm feeling.Now here comes the twist, recently she's been a lot more physical. She's started to be closer whenever she's near me. It started off as a shoulder to shoulder thing, but has escalated to lying on top of me (in a non sexual way). And she would also sort of curl up next to me in the space between my arm and my chest. She's hitting me with heaps of red flags here.I'm generally a positive person, and so my thoughts as to why she's being this way is because she's not getting this attention from my best friend. And so she's doing what any normal person would do, which is getting attention from another source - me (the dickhead with no backbone).I have definitely noticed a connection between the two of us, but I'm finding it difficult determining if it's a friendship thing, or something more. The whole decision on whether or not I'm feeling lonely, is really getting difficult with the way she has been acting recently. Her being near me is a great way to feel less isolated, but it's such a temporary feeling.Help the lonely boi.Edit 1: I kind of still want to be friends with her, like after whatever happens. After reading through some of the replies, most suggest ditching her. I've noticed that I feel really comfortable around her in the same way I'm comfortable with my best friend. The only difference is that I've known him for what seems like forever, and her only for a year. I genuinely believe that her and I could be bestfriends.Edit 2: I've always had that need for things I feel I can't have, and in this situation it's the desire to not be lonely. Whenever she is around me, I no longer have the feeling of being lonely. But then the feeling of guilt takes over, for the fact that she is my best friends girlfriend and I should be keeping my boundaries with her.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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XeXzWu6j6zctVN0yiOdZUbb2IggFE5XH
|
b8dd2l
|
{
"description": "starting a relationship knowing that it is doomed to end early",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for starting a relationship knowing that it is doomed to end early?
|
Hey guys,
throwaway for obvious reasons..
I started a relationship with a girl I really liked around two weeks ago. She was the one who asked me out, it turns out that we both felt the same about each other for a long time, but neither of us had the balls to ask until now. Unfortunately, we would have been much happier if this happened earlier, because we have around 1\~2 months of school left before we graduate, at which we would inevitably have to break up, because we are both going to different corners of the world with university choices.
Because of that, I keep telling myself to not get too attached. Someone asked me what this relationship really meant to me, and I still struggle at that question. Truthfully, right now it feels a lot more casual, a fling kind of thing that will end soon. I also realized that I have no idea how to date, so this can be seen as practice... for the "real thing." I just put off thinking about it for a long time because these thoughts make me really uncomfortable, and I like her a lot.
But at the end of the day, I can't with a straight face say that I am in this relationship for love. It's just that the fact that it will soon end is troubling me a lot.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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nTxDtKyNqYbkWvQx2ZgxWTIfWDyN6Sde
|
aob3vm
|
{
"description": "wanting things done thoroughly",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for wanting things done thoroughly?
|
(sorry in advance for mobile formatting and length!!)
So my job is in administration/facilities and I have been in my team the longest--which is maybe since Nov 2017, so not that long over all. I trained the current team members and literally wrote the manual; suffice it to say that I know my job. I am known as being meticulous (or anally retentive if you're being more unkind) due to my previous experience working in serious debt and fraud, and that kind of fastodiousness to maintaining spreadsheets, records and paperwork is something that has carried over into my work with this employer.
Towards the end of last year, we had a few people leave the team, and because we were so short staffed, it was an incredibly stressful time, where I think everyone's work slipped, including myself. Around the same time we had one of our team members become our manager, leaving our previous team of five go down to two, including me. We have to give customer service to a building of 800, and we were spread very thin, so we have had people on a rotation from other offices and temps helping out where they can which is good, but they still don't know the specifics of the job as much as me, my colleague and my manager.
When I first started I was given the security portfolio, meaning I manage the organisation of new starters, including their key cards and logging them into our security network. I got to know the archaic system better than anyone else, and I can do anything in this system quicker than you can snap your fingers. This being said, we had a huge influx of new staff towards the end of the year, and I somewhat began to neglect doing this role in as timely a fashion as normal. More urgent tasks came up, and new users weren't getting done as soon as we wanted, much to my chagrin, because you can't just tell someone to go away if they come up to you in person with some urgent issue that needs resolution. This new manager and I didn't get along when we were colleagues, so now she was my manager, she used this to lord over me about petty crap, and this was one thing she had genuine proof I wasn't doing as I should, so she took the whole security portfolio--the thing I know better than everyone else--and gave it to my other remaining colleague, who we'll call Mr Slim. This guy is one of those lads who seems to be able to do anything wrong and is still liked by our manager. He had a habit of just disappearing for hours at a time, would take random smokos all the time and still isn't publically told off for it; I was 10 min late back from an appointment once and I got publically yelled at in front of the team. This is the same guy that openly called someone "too Jewish"--as a himself a GERMAN. So, admittedly, imo I work with arseholes and I am a bit biased in this situation.
Fast forward till today. Mr Slim has been managing this security portfolio for about 3 months now, and he was recently away for about three weeks with a mysterious illness which he poorly communicated, so we were on edge every day not knowing if he was going to be coming in or not until he would finally text our boss. While Mr Slim was gone we found a whole raft of unfinished, badly done or just not attempted work that was assigned to him or he had checked off as having been done. He hadn't been documenting anything correctly, and my beautifully maintained spreadsheets and system of putting together a starter pack was completely ignored and destroyed respectively. There's a whole bunch of stuff still unaccounted for, and the whole team, my manager included, is pretty pissed off at Mr Slim, despite letting a lot of it slide. In response, I'm given back this security stuff to fix as it hugely impacts our customers. Mr Slim is very friendly, and comes off as much more likeable than me (I have Asperger's) and I am aware that it makes his mistakes a lot more palatable than mine.
Sorry for the long explanation, but my problem is this: right now, whenever I try and do something in the team, Mr Slim jumps in and tries to do it before I can, even when I have said it in my daily outline in our morning meeting. I said I'd train the newbie after lunch? Cool, I come back from lunch to find Mr Slim in the middle of training him. I said I'd collate a whole bunch of data from some emails? The emails start disappearing as I am going through them because he's started doing them too. Boss asks the team to do something and I say I'll do it cos it's in my area of expertise? He tears off after I've already stood up. I've started to get a bit more aggressively assertive with him re why he's doing this, telling Mr Slim it isn't ok for him to just take my work out from under me, but he just laughs it off as if I'm lost in those wily female histrionics again, making vaguely patronising or misogynistic comments to me that I can't actually pin down as either but that make me uncomfortable. I've tried going to my manager, but in her view as long as the work gets done, there shouldn't be any issue. If I defend this, it looks like I'm hoarding work and *don't* want it to get done on time. When I defend my reasons for being thorough in maintaining spreadsheets with complete information and consistent capitalisation in our emails to staff and records, I'm made to feel as if I'm a nagging nancy and that I'm too sensitive. I KNOW I'm better at the job than Mr Slim, and I do take things seriously because I think it is important to doing the job well, especially since I wasn't doing so well last year. I wouldn't mind so much if he would just ask before jumping into doing my work--sometimes I left that email there because I was awaiting more info, not because I was lazy. I have reasons behind what I do, but no one wants to hear it.
TL;DR my work colleague jumps in and does the work I have been assigned, my boss doesn't seem to care as long as the jobs get done, and I'm being made to feel like I'm too sensitive for reiterating the importance of accurate record keeping. AMTA for being pissed off at Mr Slim here or am I really just some hysterical woman like he said?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
|
NEW9EPY6WHfK8Mv0DzXSgYh3cCntUA7O
|
ay5ayg
|
{
"description": "pursuing the friend of a guy I liked",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for pursuing the friend of a guy I liked?
|
So I met this guy Mike in line for a concert. I got his ig & a few hours later he Dm'd me "hey we should hang out soon, lets get drinks." I told him I'm down to since I was actually pretty interested & thought he was cute. We ended up getting drinks.
It was a bit awkward for the first 10 minutes but its not like I knew him well. After 6 shots it was getting more lively. I got too confident & kept drinking. I was at my 16th & it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I was DRUNK. I kept going to the bathroom to puke & Mike noticed & came with me. He held my hair while I threw up, was rubbing my back saying its okay; trying to comfort me. I was a mess & ended up passing out on his lap. He paid everything even though I offered & drove me home. He even stopped at a gas station to buy me water. On the way home he was holding my hand & when he dropped me off he asked if he could hug me. My friend who works at the spot we were at text me like "i think he likes u he had his arms around u" I was expecting Mike to not want to see me again after all that, but he still wanted to talk.
Few days later, he said he wanted me to meet his friend John. He sends me a snapchat of him & John & Im like tell him I said hey. Mike says "John asks if you think hes cute" I'm like yeah. I show a pic of John to my friend Abby & Im like "hes cute. lets do a double date." She agrees.
We get drinks with the boys & Abby that week. I meet up with them, & as soon as John sees me he gives me a hug & he's like nice to meet you. Tbh, I was starstruck by John. We sit at the table & me & John are hitting it off. John asked if I think he's cute, cool or whatever, I said yes. Mike was barely talking. I was trying to include him but he didn't seem up for it. We went outside to smoke, & I asked Mike if i smelled like cigs. I know he was mad cause he's like "Don't ask me. I smoke too" super coldly. So I asked John & hes like "nah you smell sweet." We left (I was getting a ride home with the guys) but John hugged me like we were saying bye to eachother.
I admit I DM John later. We'd talk & I'd notice he'd lowkey say things to make himself look better & make Mike look bad? Might be overthinking it but he'd be like "after we came home Mike had another two beers. Just like the night you two went out. He drinks like everyday. I only drink with my friends, I'm a healthy guy." Mike still seemed off. Barely texted me. I text Abby too, & she's like "idk if John finds me attractive. I didn't get flirty vibes from him, at least not to me.
I'm not gonna lie and say I wasn't trying to get to the talking stage with Mike. We were almost there. So, AITA homie hopper for thinking about pursuing John? Is John the asshole for \*maybe\* trying to make his homie look bad? And again, AITA for talking to John even though I know my friend was kind of into him? I know nothing is official but please. Let me know if I'm being an asshole.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
QJOsABeJZlb4G9z3FT3KlDLlrZ6IxfXi
|
a5snjy
|
{
"description": "refusing to \"make merit\" in a buddhist fund raiser",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For refusing to "make merit" in a Buddhist fund raiser
|
I'm not Buddhist and not a Thai but have been living in Thailand for more than 15 years.
Before this, I have been given around 2 envelopes for making merit aka "give money and increase your chance to be reincarnated in a great life".
I have this co-teacher who has so many of these envelopes (she is active in their temple) and recently, she keeps asking me to "help". At first, to be polite I did. She kept on giving me these envelopes until I gave excuses like "I dont have change" or "I dont have enough money." She would remind me again and again until one day I told her "I dont think my life would be any different whether I give or not." She got pissed off and wouldnt talk to me anymore.
Thailand is like, 96% Buddhist and I don't get why she badgers me for something that I dont believe in (I am her only acquaintance who is not Buddhist). In fact, one student attempted to give me an envelope once and caught himself saying "Oh. You're not Buddhist" and decided against giving me the envelope.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
ugODkfY22hmQQYRUvr9uuoUcectK00O4
|
b554ks
|
{
"description": "wanting a nice vacation",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting a nice vacation?
|
I planned a trip to Disneyland with my SO earlier in the year as she has never been and has expressed how much she has wanted to numerous times before. Well the date finally came and we arrived, but the entire time she has been glued to her phone; Snapchatting and messaging other guys. I asked her what was so important and she said that she was just talking to her friends and I needed to stop overanalyzing everything.
To provide some context, we've been dating for 3+ years and live together. She has always been very vested in having multiple "friendships" with guys that clearly want more than just to talk.
AITA for wanting to just enjoy these 5 days together without her simultaneously updating her "friends", especially after looking forward to it for so long?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
jnocGntvfKmyPpQNSRIp35uD4Gfowbbq
|
9xprct
| null |
AITA Update
|
Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/9r3cs9/aita_for_forgetting_about_a_date/?utm_source=reddit-android
So I originally posted that post not too long ago and read some of the feedback. For those who don't know, I essentially scheduled a date with a girl and just forgot about it, pretty much blowing her off. Some people on here suggested that I apologize for my actions which I read but that's it.
I was recently talking with my good friend about the situation which means I still obviously feel bad about it and he told me the same shit, just give her a call and apologize for my actions.
So I did, the next day I grew a pair of fucking nuts and hit her up, talking for about a hour about all the shit that happened and it worked.
We ended up linking up, one thing led to another and now we are coolin it together on a regular basis
The moral of this story and why I posted it on here is to let all of y'all know that no matter how bad you think you fucked something up you can fix it (or at least move on).
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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epmp1TzoVC2WcpsfSEEY4DSKs2MoVz3e
|
ajwr9b
|
{
"description": "asking a child to be quiet during a movie",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking a child to be quiet during a movie?
|
TL;DR I asked a parent/child due to keep questions until the end of a movie as kid’s questions were disruptive. I got called a jerk and got reminded about capitalism.
-
This happened a few weeks ago, but it is still eating at me.
I went to see a 9:30pm showing of Bumblebee. There was a dad and his maybe 8 year old kid with him sitting one seat away from me, with an empty seat between us. Every few minutes the kid would loudly ask a question about the movie.
About halfway through the movie I was getting annoyed with the loud questions, so I lean over and (trying to sound cheerful) ask something along the lines of “Hey y’all, could you please keep your questions until the end of the movie?” I aimed this at both the child and the father, as some parents would get upset about a stranger talking to their kid, but also because as a kid it hurts to hear people talk about you right in front of you.
The dad immediately called me a jerk and said he paid his ticket money just like everyone else. I ignored his comment and went about trying to ignore the kid’s questions for the rest of the movie. They didn’t do anything to “retaliate” like get louder, but out of the corner of my eye I could see the dad look directly at me everytime the kid asked a question.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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9ux19k
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{
"description": "getting mad at my gf for buying me a shitty present after getting her a really good and expensive one",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my gf for buying me a shitty present after getting her a really good and expensive one?
|
My girlfriend's birthday is a few weeks before mine which means she always knows what she got before she has to get me something.
Her old android phone had been acting up and she was complaining a lot about it so I decided to splurge and bought her an iPhone X. Cost about $1300 CAD.
Fast forward to my birthday. A pair of pajamas and a wallet. I saw the receipt. She spent $70.
I don't wear pajamas. I had just bought a new wallet that I showed to her a couple weeks before this.
I called her out on her terrible present. She got mad at me for caring about the present so much and said that it's the thought that counts. But she clearly didn't put any thought into it.
Just writing this is making me angry.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
ZkHkAkvBe4J1Y82OXm9M7SJr7bDq95AC
|
azc1hi
|
{
"description": "deducting a renter home seller for removing all towel racks, curtain rods etc",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I deducted a renter home seller for removing all towel racks, curtain rods etc.
|
I bought a home and gave the seller a rent back
Every single curtain rod has been removed.
Vast majority of towel rods were removed.
I want to avoid being an ass.
Thanks for your help
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
anullq
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{
"description": "anonymously giving a bunch of expensive acne products to an otherwise beautiful girl who works at Subway",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for anonymously giving a bunch of expensive acne products to an otherwise beautiful girl who works at Subway?
|
100% throwaway account here. Will probably never log in after the dust settles from this (if there is any).
I understand this is a convoluted question and it's a convoluted situation. I also hang around this sub enough to know this may get SHP or even troll accusations but I swear on everything this is real. I can give screenshots of the last product my ex wife purchased or whatever if no one believes me.
So I'm recently divorced. Ugly, ugly divorce where ex and I can't even stand to be in the same room together. We paid a fucking small fortune in lawyers fees because she wanted to argue about bullshit like who got patio furniture and the bird feeder that I didn't want anyways. In the end I just threw up my hands and said fuck it, she could keep everything, I just wanted out as long as I never had to see her again. Well we fought about that too because after saying she wanted the house, she didn't want the house and I had to dip into my 401k and IRAs to buy her out. Not that I even wanted the house, I just wanted her the fuck gone. My ex-wife had pretty severe acne and the only thing that ever worked for her was this company called Paula's Choice. it worked so well that she would essentially buy thousands of dollars worth of the product at once in fear they would change the formula or cancel a particular creamer or whatever. So after all the shit was settled and I thought all her stuff was gone I found what has to be $1500 worth of brand new, sealed product tucked away in a closet in the garage. I thought about giving it to her but figured that would lead to more calls with lawyers because the last time I tried to give her something back pre-divorce she accused me of hiding things from her which cost us dozens of hours of lawyer and investigator time to figure out what else I was "hiding." Seriously. Fuck her. But I didn't want to just dump $1500 of high end skin product so I figured I'd give it to my sister or something.
So because I'm a pretty pathetic divorcee, I eat at the Subway around the corner from my house 6 nights a week, maybe 7. A month or so ago a new girl started working there. I would guess 18 or 19 and stunningly gorgeous and also very sweet. She knows my name, she's acts like she's happy to see me, she doesn't judge me for gaining 30lbs eating their heart clogging food. I mean this when I say this...I have ZERO designs on her romantically. I'm too old, I'm too fat and I don't even think my dong works after being emasculated in the divorce. I am deadly seriously when I say this. Subway girl is a nice person who gives me a couple of minutes of happiness every day and that will always be the extent of our relationship.
Despite her spectacular bone structure, piercing blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair, Subway girl has really bad acne. And as much as I think she's super cool, I really get the feeling that it affects her confidence. To be very honest, this girl should be out dating, having a great time, being the bell of the ball and not serving me Spicy Italians at 9pm on a Friday and although I don't know, I think her skin has something to do with why she chooses to work so much instead of go out. Again...all presumptions on my part and maybe very assholey of me.
So I decided wow, this is way too big of a serendipitous moment to pass up. I have boxes and boxes of expensive acne treatment and I know a super cool person who really could use the stuff. I decided that I'd just give it to her. After I thought about a little bit I figured me just walking and handing her the products really would be creepy and give some sort of implication that I wanted something in return from her. Again...I do not.
So I typed out an anonymous note and said basically "Subway Girl, I work as a distributor for Paula's Choice Skin Care Products. I have a ton of extra product older product left over and would love for you to have it. Unfortunately, I would get fired if the company found out I was giving the stuff away and I hate to see it go to waste so I must remain anonymous. But you have always been so nice and courteous to me that it's yours free of charge. If you find it works for you it can be purchased on Amazon as well as Paula's Choice dot com. There are detailed instructions on how and when to use the product, enjoy! " And then shipped it to her via USPS care of the store so I knew she would get it.
I can actually tell she's using it because just like it did for my ex, her skin improved dramatically almost overnight. She has not acted any differently towards me so I know for a fact she doesn't think it was me. She has no reason to and very simply I felt good about doing a nice thing for a nice person.
Until my sister found out. My sister doesn't need the product so it's not a jealousy that I gave it away...it's that my sister thinks I am an incredible creep for what I did. She says no matter what I say outloud, I'm secretly hoping this young girl will know what I did and sleep with me. She said plus, by giving acne product to a girl with acne I was pointing out that she had a major flaw and was not a cute person. My sister then passed all this to my mom and grandma and now they both think I'm a creepy asshole who made this girl feel bad.
I can add any info if needed but...am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
8Q6yW7pzBJ1EXPP4F9KnUQlAGSQjonUn
|
axqcua
|
{
"description": "being cold to my bf's friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being cold to my bf’s friend?
|
This happened a year ago. My bf and I have been together for four years, and they’ve mostly been very happy! When I graduated, he and I were both going through a rough time- I had bad anxiety, and he was very depressed. The stress of me moving back home overwhelmed him, and he broke up with me for a month. We reconciled, using the time apart to work on our issues, and I feel that we’ve been much stronger since.
I was invited to be my bf’s plus one to a wedding of an old friend of his. She is not that close with my boyfriend, but close to a few friends of ours. When my bf broke up with me, he let her know I wouldn’t be coming. When we got back together, he asked her if I could come (the wedding still wasn’t for 5 months) and she said no, which I understood. However, the way that she said no upset me. “I only want serious couples to come together, and you and Saara aren’t serious.” At this point, he and I had been together 2.5 years...which is longer than she’d been with her husband.
However, I understood it was her wedding and didnt want to make a fuss. What bugged me is that for a while, my bf was in denial that his friend could say something mean and kept defending her. I didn’t want him to stand up for me or anything, just acknowledge to me that what she did was mean.
Her wedding came and went, and during the wedding, her husband was a homophobe to one of my bf’s and my friends “Jeremy”, even refusing a hug from him in front of all the guests and insinuating it was because he’s gay (Jeremy hasn’t publicly come out yet, which is extra shitty). I told my bf that his friend, “Ashley,” should have stood up for Jeremy and that she’s a bad friend and values her fundamentalism above friendship. He defended her personality but not her actions.
Last August, we go to one of his mutual friends’ weddings. Ashley is there. I try to avoid her without seeming obvious, as I’m not the best at hiding my feelings. She saunters up to me, and this conversation follows:
A: “Heeeey, Saara! What a great wedding, huh? Weren’t you at my wedding last year?”
Me: “Hi, Ashley. No, actually, I wasn’t.”
A: “Oh, you wouldn’t have liked it anyway. It was super nerdy, just books everywhere.”
Me: “Ah, yes. Well, I wasn’t invited. Or, I was...and then I wasn’t.”
A: “Oh.”
My boyfriend saw this conversation and after the wedding told me he was upset with the way I was cold to Ashley. I will admit that my tone was very level and monotone, while normally I have a “bubbly” voice, but I hadn’t done that intentionally. I know I wasn’t being friendly, but I also think I don’t have to love Ashley. My boyfriend agreed with me, and we also both agreed to lay the issue of Ashley’s character to rest. However, browsing this subreddit has got me thinking: was I the jerk?
If it counts at all, two of my boyfriend’s close friends, who are also friends with both me and Ashley told me that Ashley has a habit of trampling on people’s feelings and they were proud of me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
SZUWk4zG10IebkhuPBUuhC8kqDLDg1Wv
|
awcrkx
|
{
"description": "blocking a random girl on messenger",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for blocking a random girl on messenger
|
Sorry guys, bare with me since I'm on mobile rn.
Tldr on the end
So a random girl messaged me on facebook on valentines day, just a random picture which said "send this to people you care about and some other stuff", and then she wished me happy valentine's day. We had a couple of mutual friends on facebook so instead of ignoring her I replied with "awww thanks" and in general trying to be nice.
And after all this time, she just hit me up a few days ago with just "What would you do if you were being bullied?". I couldn't just ignore her even thought I didn't know here so I asked her if she's being bullied. Long story short she started telling me her life problems, while I slowly cramed myself into a pit I didn't know how to get out of. She told me she was being bullied, I told her she needs to tell someone and repeatedly told me she can't cause she's shy and she doesn't have a good relationship with her parents.
I told her many times that she needs to tell someone. She then started messaging me very frequently, she started getting very personal. I tried to give her a hint everytime by answering is monotone ways, but she always just continued. It got to the point where she would tell me she did something, and after I answered with just a "that's good" she would just respond with "haha I am going to shower now, I'll text you later" and expected us to carry on a full on conversation. She even told me once that she used to cut herself etc.
She became a huge burden and I had to constantly worry about a random girl who became hung on me for no reason and I felt the need to stop what I am am doing to be her pshycologist, I couldn't take it anymore, so I just told her she needs to seek help and I wish the best for her. I then set my visibility status to not show on anyone, and then pressed ignore on her messages. AITA for feeling too much pressure to help a random girl on the internet because she wanted to constantly talk and told me she would cut herself when I didn't respond for over an hour?
TLDR; random girl on the internet keeps messaging me every 10 minutes for weeks, telling me her problems and threatning she would cut herself if I didn't respond, so I blocked her since I couldn't take it anymore.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
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}
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
6jAzpSg0wNs3C6p3p3nv8xYX4yjcoGjw
|
9yxp6d
|
{
"description": "not wanting to date someone",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not wanting to date someone?
|
I got out of a pretty toxic relationship earlier this year, and was/am in no way ready to date anyone again yet. I've also been in on/off states of mild depression, which is very out of my character and probably why I don't feel like I want to date anyone at the moment.
I started talking to this girl about 2 months after my relationship ended and explained how I didn't want to get into another one yet. She said she wanted a relationship but understood and wanted to hang out anyway. Long story short we've been sleeping together occasionally for the past few months. We also talk fairly regularly but it's mostly friendly "how are you's" and the like. Occasionally she would ask me if I'm feeling better yet (obviously wanting to know if we can start "dating") and I've so far always told her no, not yet.
Today she asked again if I was feeling better. I said no and that I'm still not ready for a serious relationship yet (which is true). Well I guess she didn't like that very much and asked if I've only been talking to her because I wanted to get in her pants, etc. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
QzP3NVkbivFbyI780TQ4KrmWiKHwPfs5
|
ahkkr4
|
{
"description": "not talking to a friend anymore after I texted her \"did ya miss me? lol\" and she replied about how it's not cool for friends to flirt and cross the line",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not talking to a friend anymore after I texted her “Did ya miss me? Lol” and she replied about how it’s not cool for friends to flirt and cross the line.
|
This was under a year ago but it bothers me from time to time.
I met this girl at work and she was pretty and cool. We talked and joked around whenever she came in (I worked at a gym). Always talking about something. One day I built up the courage to ask for her number and to go out sometime. She said totally and everything was gravy. We texted all the time, she invited me local bars and we played pool and she would buy drinks and I would buy drinks. We got very close in a short time.
About 2 weeks after of talking and all that I told her I was into her and asked if she has similar feelings and she gave me the whole I think you’re great but I’m not ready for a relationship thing. Which was fine cause I enjoyed her honesty but she was still very touchy and a bit flirty with me.
So her car breaks down and is getting repaired and I offered to drive her to work and back and she said thanks and it was no problem and she invited me back to her place that night to cook me dinner. We were having laughs and then after we ate we went to her room on her bed and laid shoulder to shoulder and talked then played some board game and again shoulder to shoulder faces only about a few inches away and I thought maybe she was waiting but I told myself if nothing happens now then it’s never going to happen.
Nothing happens and in my mind I’m like that’s cool we are good friends and I can just forget about those more romantic feelings. So for the rest of the week I drive her to and from work and I ask for nothing in return.
Finally, it’s the weekend and I didn’t need to drive her or anything and we didn’t text for like a day cause we were both busy. She texts me and tells me about what she’s been up to. I text her back saying “Did ya miss me? Lol”
She then goes on this little rant about how I crossed the line of what friends are with that. That she isn’t looking for anything and she was uncomfortable. And I didn’t respond anymore after that. A week later she texted me what’s up and I ignored that. I 100% wasn’t flirting. So yeah. AITA ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Hr9QGUURy2a4QNlLiChdHYUxPGaPtGkD
|
al9t74
|
{
"description": "not giving my girlfriend attention when she wants it",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving my girlfriend attention when she wants it?
|
My girlfriend (F18) and I (M17) are in a committed long distance relationship and have been for about a month and a half now. We met in an online game (League of Legends) about four months ago, and have been in a discord call with each other for at least three hours a day since then with the exception once or twice a month. We have a really strong relationship, and I am planning on flying out to visit her this summer.
We never really get in arguments, but occasionally, 4-5 times a month, she will get in this really quiet mood and while in a call with me just not talk. It is very bizarre and seems to happen out of no where.
The most recent time that this happened was early in the day and is the reason I am writing this post. We were in a call and everything was fine, but I wanted to go downstairs to hang out and talk with my family. I told her this and she seemed fine with it, so I muted myself in the call and went downstairs. About 20-30 minutes later I get back and when I return she didn't sound okay (when she gets in these moods she talks in very short sentences and sounds just sad). I could obviously tell that something was wrong and I wanted to try and make her feel better, so I ask her what was wrong and she responded with nothing and that she is fine. I waited a little bit but she doesn't seem to be better, so I ask her again and got the same answer. I interpreted this as she just wanted to be left alone, so I just listened to music and stopped talking.
Maybe after 15 minutes of her not being in a good mood she turns on the screen share in discord and starts playing YouTube videos. When she started this I was in the middle of listening through a playlist my friend made to help them add or delete some songs to improve it. I didn't say anything at first because she seemed to be in a better mood and the videos were pretty easy to ignore, but then she started playing louder music, more obnoxious, music which made it harder to focus. Because of this, I turned up the music from the playlist so I could try and focus on it. She would occasionally try and talk to me but I would not hear it because of the volume of the music I was listening to.
This made her angry that I was not responding to her all of the time. She then muted herself and began to act in the sad way that she was previously. I felt really bad because she was in a much better mood and then seemed to back-step to how it was before.
I decided to just give her space again and not speak, which ended up working because within 30 minutes she was back to normal like nothing happened.
TL;DR - My girlfriend was in a bad mood and, I did not know the cause of it, so I tried to help her feel better by talking to her. After failing she eventually felt better and got mad at me for not giving her enough attention.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
PWivKOuYPnH67KctpuaSSHI3ihAwRURX
|
b6nsnd
|
{
"description": "telling an employee that it's hard to pay the bills without a f*cking check",
"pronormative_score": 32,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA for telling an employee that it’s hard to pay the bills without a f*cking check?
|
To start this off I’m 19. My grandfather owns a full service gas station where we do tires and mechanic work. When I graduate my grandfather offered me the job of managing the place and I said yes. I’m good with working with my hands and enjoy working on cars but my grandfather wanted me to run the office and do all of the paperwork. When it got super busy I would go out and help with changing tires and oil. One of the workers just quit a few months before I got hired, so there was just one man (he is in his late 40s) beside me. This guy has worked here for 7 years and did all of the mechanic work while my grandfather did the office. The employee brags all the time about how he pretty much ran this place when the other worker quit. While I’m taking care of sending out bills and doing other paperwork the guy comes in and start cussing at me telling me to “get off my ass and do some real work for once”. This happens pretty much every day. After 3 months of it I got pissed off. 3 days ago he came in and said “I’ve got 2 cars out here that need tires on them, why don’t you get off your lazy ass and do some manly work.” I responded with “You always talk about how you ran this place by yourself so why can’t you do it now, I’m sending out the bills for this month.” He replied “Fuck the bills, come out here and change some tires.” This is where I got pissed off “First of all” I said “ you are not my boss, I’m the one running this place and I sign your paychecks so if anyone is going to tell someone what to do, it’s going to be me telling you.” “I’m not taking orders from a damn kid” he said. “ Look, I know it’s hard to take orders from someone that’s young and that is new here but you know what’s harder?”there was a pause and he said “What’s that?” “Feeding your family and paying the bills without a fucking paycheck.” He just looked at me then when back outside and hasn’t said anything to be since.
So AITA for getting mad at an employee for them disrespecting their boss?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 11,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 32,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
RIGHT
|
YvNaTiqCoLyXw9ye1m7Zg1xe0e5fm0fJ
|
aoi2ne
|
{
"description": "leaving my parents house during a horrible time",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA For leaving my parents house during a horrible time?
|
I’m using a throwaway as it sort of links to the post I made on r/confessions.
Basically for context, I [M18] live with my mum, my step-dad, 2 brothers [5,1] and my sister [8]. My mum works 2 days a week, 12 hours and uses the benefits system to lower cost of housing and my step-father hasn’t worked since he was 16 and doesn’t help towards the rent at all.
I recently started working, as an apprentice for very minimal amounts of money, and it’s screwed over my mothers benefits. She wanted me to pay rent, which I was happy to do. Then she told me to tell the council I lived at my dads to make her benefits go back up and then I don’t have to pay rent! Bonus!
But now she wants rent again, even though it’s cheaper for her again. She doesn’t get my child benefits anymore, but I pay for my food, water etc. And I feel like she’s trying to con me out of money for her gambling addiction.
For added context, my fiancée is pregnant and lives with her parents, and she doesn’t work due to issues with her previous workplace. I need to save money up to buy baby clothes and other bits etc.
My mother had a massive argument with me this morning about being selfish etc. Because I focus on my fiancée right now, for obvious reasons. I think it’s really pathetic.
TL;DR mother and stepfather have benefits to pay rent, I screwed over benefits system to help out yet I still have to pay rent when I pay for other expenses, mother has a go at me for wanting to focus on fiancée who is pregnant.
AITA for wanting to leave my home ASAP to live with my fiancée?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
u9A33iuzPCAVo0YacKFEaW4JhbbuDJXR
|
airp2b
|
{
"description": "calling my pregnant cousin a breeder",
"pronormative_score": 107,
"contranormative_score": 184
}
|
AITA for calling my pregnant cousin a breeder?
|
Okay so a little context, I’m 23 in a serious relationship and have a whole host of medical issues. I’ve never wanted a kid, even at age 5 I found the idea of baby dolls etc just ugh. This idea evolved and changed as I did and eventually developed into where I am now which is even if I wanted one having one with my medical issues would just be dumb and dangerous for everyone involved.
My cousin is the eldest of us all and has always been a family woman (honest to god I see nothing wrong with that, it’s just not for me) she’s happily married and is expecting her first. And so the family has gone into a bit of a baby craze.
I live quite far so I’ve avoided most of the madness, but I went to see them all last weekend with a knitted blanket I’d made for her as a gift. This started the comments: “you’re obviously very mummsie think of what you could make for your own” “you’d be a great mum” “it’s what you were born to do” “oh your opinion will change when you’re older”
To all of this I just laughed and made jokes just trying to get past the awkward but it’s a full 4 hours of these little gripes till my cousin says: “Honestly [my name] you’re so stubborn, believe me in a few years all your “opinions” will change then that job of yours won’t matter. I just hope it’s not to late and you don’t end up alone and bitter. Honestly having a kid is the best thing a woman can do and nothing can compare”
This really angered me so I (somewhat tipsy and just kinda very done) snapped back “well sorry I have more ambition than being a breeder, have fun with a wrecked vagina” she broke down crying and that pretty much put an end to the family gathering.
I feel horrid about it all and I really didn’t mean it. She’s always wanted a family and I’m so happy for her but I’ve felt like I’ve always respected her choices and she’s never respected mine and it kinda popped at the worst moment. I really want to say sorry but she’s now posting these really pathetic and snide fb posts and i really am just kinda tired.
Small note: my cousin and that side of the family knows about my medical conditions, I even brought them up to point out how unsafe it would be. But they still continued. I know that doesn’t excuse what I did but I hope it explains why I got so angry.
TDLR: at a family gathering and got crap for not wanting children, I snapped at my pregnant cousin and now she’s posting all of this stuff on fb and I just want the whole ordeal to be over.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 74,
"OTHER": 105,
"EVERYBODY": 110,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 107,
"WRONG": 184
}
|
WRONG
|
XiQr7E6zd5s9wIlv11WNrV9bBdS5PrlC
|
b4iaza
|
{
"description": "wanting to put money in my retirement account and not my partner's",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to put money in my retirement account and not my partner's?
|
My partner and I have been married for 7 years, and were working on advanced degrees together for the first 5. I graduated and got a job 2 years ago, when we had our first kid. As a student, my partner isn't being paid. I'm our sole income, we pay tuition, and I have a side business for extra cash as well.
Tax time came around, and I realized we could put some money into retirement accounts rather than pay it in taxes. We have the same type of retirement account, but my partner has more $ due to prior contributions from parents. I tried to gently suggest that since mine is smaller, and since I am the breadwinner (didn't phrase it like that), that I should put the full amount in my account (still far less $ than the difference in our accounts). Partner says that's not fair, and that it shouldn't matter if we're going to stay together anyway. I think we should each be in a position to to take care of ourselves, and since I am currently earning for everything else, including tuition, I should get to make this contribution to my own account.
This amount that we'd get to avoid in taxes is really all the extra we can afford right now. We aren't paycheck to paycheck, but we don't have a ton of savings either. Other than this, what I earn is our money, and goes to family expenses. I don't give my partner an allowance or monitor their spending, we both use a joint account. So AITA for wanting this extra for my own retirement account?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
s4J1NCrETQVuDSVnSlQssTG3rXxd76gn
|
ahbz33
|
{
"description": "telling my gf to sleep earlier",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my gf to sleep earlier?
|
Title basically says it all. She goes to sleep really late sometimes for absolutely no reason. She constantly complains about being tired, but does nothing about it. Also, it gets annoys me when she just doesn't think straight due to fatigue when she's talking to me sometimes.
She seemed pretty pissed about it yesterday. When I asked her about it today, she said it was fine, but asked to switch the subject pretty quickly (during this time, I apologized profusely about harsh it sounded and I only asked her to do so since I care).
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 3
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
NqRQU32r6uLAOIBL8Ik5AliUsQFaaGim
|
a9qbke
|
{
"description": "pranking my sister in front of our entire family",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 77
}
|
AITA for pranking my sister in front of our entire family?
|
So, to clarify, my sister and i have a fairly complicated relationship. She was the favorite growing up. I always felt like an outcast in my family and it lead to me picking on her some. Because honestly, it's the only way i could get my family to even notice i existed. But my sister and i? We don't like each other at all. Because, honestly, she ruined my life and stole my childhood from me. She was pretty much the baby of the family, spoiled rotten.
And i've really taken any way to get back at her i could growing up. Even today.
So this Christmas, i decided to pull a little prank on her. I got her a "gift". It was an Xbox One. So, i gave her the wrapped Xbox and told her it was an apology item and that i was sorry for everything i ever did to her. She was so happy, i gave her the present in front of our entire family. She opened it and talked endlessly about all the cool features written on the box.
I told her to open it. And when she did, she started crying because it wasn't an actual Xbox. I just bought an empty Xbox case and just put a big rock inside. All she said was "Where's the real one"? and i revealed it was a big prank. There was no Xbox. I told her to go plug it up and play with it.
She threw the box on the ground and told me "I hate you! You're the worst brother ever! You ruined my Christmas!" and ran off crying into her room.
I looked around, expecting my family to laugh at it, but they just stared at me with a dissapointed look. They scolded me about it.
But really, was it really that bad of a prank? Are they just babying her? Was it just a harmless prank?
Am i the asshole for pulling this prank? Or is my family just babying her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 76,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 77
}
|
WRONG
|
VZMzkfnC2OMelw3zljbwnaLi5tPGSoEQ
|
b73mto
|
{
"description": "kicking my brother out of my House",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I Kick My Brother Out of My House?
|
My (27f) have been living with my brother (32m) for the past 7 years. We've lived in the same house the whole time. 2 years ago I bought the house and have been renting it out to my brother and a roommate. Their rent is super cheap with all bills are included, and I haven't raised it even though my taxes have gone up about $400 a month in the past 2 years. I also pay for all the communal house supplies like detergent, paper towels, towel paper, etc. I have also paid for pest control that he caused (I won't go into details because then someone might recognize him from the post), even though it wasn't my fault, wasn't in my room, and cost nearly $3000. He never offered to pay or to help out.
​
My brother doesn't have a college degree but he has a decent job as a warehouse manager. The problem is that he hasn't paid his rent on time in more than a year and a half. April is in 2 days and he hasn't paid me a cent for March. Every time I bring it up he says he is trying his hardest and he has anxiety. I know he could pay his rent on time if he tried. He never cooks at home, never takes his lunch to work, and goes out drinking with his friends at least once a week. And this isn't the first time he's done this type of thing to me. He rented my old car from me until it broke down for good and never paid for it. Nothing. He drove it for months.
​
I feel like he's just taking advantage of me because I'm his sister and I'm getting sick of it. The extra money each month is really nice but I don't need it. I felt like I've e let him walk all over me. I think he needs a real kick in the ass. I'm done enabling him. I'm going to change the WiFi password and not tell him since technically he hasn't paid for it. I will give him the password when he is caught up on his rent. But what I really want to do is tell him the next time his rent is late, starting in May because there is no way he will be on time on April, that he has has a month to find a new place to live. My Dad has offered to employ him and give him a place to live for free, and my mom has told him that after my sister moves out he can live with her, also for free, while he goes back to school but he's chosen not to. Will I be the asshole if I tell my brother to grow the f up and pay his rent on time or he needs to find a new place to live?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
bwi3LS2B4sYdyLPLoX6lGgOVg9LKU8dM
|
agv2ky
|
{
"description": "calling my husband out on sexist views",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for calling my husband out on sexist views?
|
I’m new to reddit. I usually just browse and read, however after what happened today, I felt the need to make an account and post.
Anyways, so my husband and I decided to watch that new video from Gillette. The Best Men Can Be video to be specific. As we were watching it, I looked over at my husband that seemed to be getting a bit worked up about it.
The bit where, the woman is walking on the street past 2 guys and one of the guys starts kind of strutting after her, until his friend holds him back saying, “not cool. Not cool.”
My husband got visibly annoyed. So I turned to him and asked him what’s wrong.
My husband than started saying, that he didn’t agree with that bit. Because what if his friend just held him back from finding someone he loved?
I explained to my husband that, woman don’t walk on the streets to find love or a partner. That most of the time they’re just minding their own business and trying to go about it without having to be hassled by men like that. Even if he wanted to approach her, there are better ways than doing it like that.
He than countered argued, but what if she wanted him to approach her? I was kind of blown away because to me that’s basically saying, that she’s asking for it?
I then said to my husband that he his views are sexist and then even went to ask him how’d he feel if it was our daughter it was happening to?
He kind of shut up than and refused to talk to me and told me to drop the subject and that it didn’t matter anymore and he didn’t want to talk about it.
I’m really disappointed in his view point and I really didn’t think he was like this. Most of the time he’s really respectful of everyone especially women. It kind of makes me second guess our marriage and even puts me off wanting to have kids with him.
So Am I the asshole for calling him out?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
RIGHT
|
y7cxBq8tl78XrhYCdOwPJb6tMu5C1RlZ
|
aq5jde
|
{
"description": "be creeping out by how a waiter treated my daughter and for making her say thank you",
"pronormative_score": 341,
"contranormative_score": 219
}
|
AITA to be creeped out by how a waiter treated my daughter and for making her say thank you?
|
During a long road trip I stopped off with my 4yo daughter for dinner at a family run rest stop type café/restaurant we’ve been to many times before. My daughter is almost 5 and a very gregarious child who talks to everyone she meets. She also is very tall for her age so could easily be mistaken for 6 or 7 and as a result adults often expect quite a lot from her conversationally and behaviourally.
She’d been chatting away to a man on his own who was waiting for his takeaway and he while being very nice to her and polite was clearly a bit uncomfortable and kept addressing me instead of her and almost looking to me for reassurance that it was ok to talk to her. I think he handled it really well and I was more than happy for them to be talking.
A bit later we were sitting at our table and I noticed one of the waiters kept looking over and smiling at her, to begin with I was proud as she’d clearly made a bit of an impression on a few of the staff as it was quiet and she’d been pretty funny.
When he brought the food over though he didn’t acknowledge me at all and said directly to her “do you know you are really beautiful?” She was looking at a game she was playing on my phone at the time and didn’t look up or respond and so he said it again. I got her attention and said “the man is talking to you” he said it again and she just stared at him so I made her say thank you.
I was uncomfortable for a few reasons:
I didn’t like his tone or the look on his face, I’ve seen it before in my 35 years on this planet as a woman
It’s one thing to compliment a child on their behaviour or something but I found his word choice “beautiful” inappropriate
I made her acknowledge him and thank him for a compliment that made me uncomfortable
​
Later on he came back and brought her a slice of cake I hadn’t ordered for free and (again not acknowledging me at all) told her it’s their secret and not to tell mum.
I feel like I witnessed the first time my daughter was noticed by a creep.
​
AITA or is it impossible for a man in his 50s to talk to a little girl anymore?
Also did I let her down by making her thank him when I thought he was being a creep?
I’m a single mum but her father who has an active role in her life thinks I should complain to the restaurant.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 176,
"OTHER": 282,
"EVERYBODY": 43,
"NOBODY": 59,
"INFO": 13
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 341,
"WRONG": 219
}
|
RIGHT
|
3CKSO9GmhqFovEVoLdmno621fvzzFdK9
|
auslak
|
{
"description": "not wanting to have anything to do with my sister",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Not Wanting to Have Anything to do With My Sister?
|
I am 17 years old for context... So, my sister is 23 and has just moved back in. She moved out after having a fight with my mom. The title might sound harsh, but over the past few years my sister has...
Punched me in the face after I told her she couldn't get Pokemon Go on her old phone.
Slapped my mother because she told her to not slam the door.
Left her cat for days at a time locked in her room and gotten upset because my mom told her to take care of him.
Screamed and threw a fit because I was holding a frog and she didn't want me to hold it.
Gotten upset because I had to use her bed after I had surgery.
There are other things, but I've just named a few. My mom was DEAD SET on not having her come back, but here she is again. They want me to be nice to her and include her in things like I used to, but I just don't want to be close to her anymore.
AITA for not wanting to be around her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
mqdtgNgYRRiTZNjxqAdt3fetSh9DW9dI
|
b84rz8
|
{
"description": "doing a 23andme test when my parents don't want me to",
"pronormative_score": 131,
"contranormative_score": 51
}
|
WIBTA if I did a 23andMe test when my parents don't want me to?
|
When I was around 13 (seven years ago) my parents told me that there was some uncertainty regarding my paternity. My mother was sexually assulted by another man around the same time that I was conceived. They never did a test and just agreed to raise me as my fathers' daughter. I'd honestly be lying if I said it didn't bother me not knowing the truth.
So my cousin (dad's sister's son) did 23andMe already, and I want to do it as well to see my genetic makeup and all that, but I also kind of want to find out if we're related. I told my parents and they, mostly mom, freaked out. They said that it was their decision not to test in the first place and that they don't think it's fair of me to disrespect their decision. My dad asked me if I saw him as my father. I said "yes, obviously, even if you maybe aren't biologically"
My mother won't speak to me, but my dad looked real sad. So WIBTA if I went though with it?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 46,
"OTHER": 87,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 44,
"INFO": 5
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 131,
"WRONG": 51
}
|
RIGHT
|
OF4FWnyuIba5f7quMBMvbFM6wV3K84Wp
|
arnnp4
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to lunch with my dad",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for not wanting to go to lunch with my dad?
|
My parents got divorced when I was young. It’s for the best, because I’ve absolutely loved living with my mom. She is so happy and strong and it’s great.
My dad has never been great at being a dad. For most of my childhood, if I wanted to see him, I had to call him. I had to move my activities to be able to see him.
I’m 19 now, and after my dad pulling a horrific stunt that put me in danger, I decided that I wasn’t going to reach out to him first. I made up my mind that at this point, if he wanted to continue to have a relationship, he needs to put forward some of the effort.
I haven’t spoken to him (or my stepmom) in over a month. It really hasn’t impacted my life, so it’s been great!
My dad and stepmom are going on a trip, and my little sister has been calling them because she wants to have lunch with them before they go on the trip.
She came into my room and told me that she scheduled a lunch for us on Sunday, and I have to drive us to the restaurant.
Am I the asshole for saying no? I know I should want to see my dad and step mom, but I really have no interest in seeing them.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
niMIQw00AaQJMNyOopwbSJkpAZCwCPAi
|
9wmymk
|
{
"description": "eating Mac and cheese",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for eating Mac and cheese
|
I ate my brothers Mac and cheese and he's mad. Should I buy him more Mac and cheese?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
uTMsu8sBo9unpPESEogOtxJMj18bFf18
|
ba9fs8
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay half of my son's daycare bill",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay half of my son’s daycare bill?
|
I know the answer may seem pretty blatant from the title but hear me out.
So I’m 21, my son’s mom is 22, and our son is almost 2. She graduated college this past December while I graduate in December of this year. She got a full time job in her hometown, about 2 hours away, & moved in with her parents along with the baby. The plan is just to wait till I graduate and then we’ll get our own place down there.
Here’s the problem. His new daycare is $800 a month and she wants me to pay half. I think that this is unfair. I’m working an internship and spend about $900-$1000 a month on rent, utilities, groceries, etc. She’s living with her parents rent free, is making more than I am at her new job, and her only expenses are gas, daycare and diapers. Everything else is provided by her parents. So I told her that I feel it’d be a bit unfair for me to have to give an extra $400 a month when I’m already scraping by as is. Her reasoning is that it’s hard to take care of a baby “alone” and he’s both of our responsibility, which is true, but I’m still not understanding why she needs my money when she’s more than capable of paying his daycare on her own. I honestly think that she’s just being cheap.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
hoOjl0sIjLRSe6I9QW0FdDA9Q68AOjWO
|
b2b17h
|
{
"description": "refusing to move to a nicer property with my gf",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to move to a nicer property with my gf?
|
My (22f) gf (30f) wants to move to a nicer property when our lease is up. I’m a student, and I don’t have time for a part time job until summer rolls around, so to say money is tight for me would be a fair assessment.
The properties she’s looking at are way out of my price range. I can’t tell you how much I’ve stressed this, but she’s dead set on these (admittedly nicer) flats/houses. We could afford it, but my half of the rent and bills would leave me with literally nothing left over.
I understand that she maybe wants somewhere more ‘adult’ than our little flat, given that she’s a bit older and she works hard for her wages. She says her dad would give her some money towards the rent each month for both of us, which kind of negates the ‘adult’ factor for me tbh. And no, I cannot take money off my parents unless I’m in dire straits; my pride won’t allow it.
I feel like a total dick because she’s at a point in her life where she wants a nice place to reflect how hard she’s working. Not that our place isn’t nice - it’s small, but it’s spotless and in a great location. I feel blessed to be where we are, and it’s not exactly as cheap as something I’d have chosen for myself. But she wants something better, which I can understand. I just don’t want to do it. Even though technically, I could. That’s why I’m asking you:
AITA for refusing to move to a nicer property?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
gO0c9kjhih7sR2R0rR3oGNcKwKSmwf9O
|
a7hdcl
|
{
"description": "not doing the dishes",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not doing the dishes?
|
Long story short, I am living with 2 roommate and we get along great on all fronts except the dishes.
I am a firm believer of cleaning up after yourself so after every meal I wash my dishes and dry/put them away.
I have been getting more and more passive aggressive comments about me not pulling my weight and feel really guilty about not cleaning up more.
I am no saint and am sure I have left dishes around or taken a few hours to get around to cleaning them but with that in mind I still don't know how to feel.
I have asked a few other friends and they are split between 1) chores should be split evenly 2) fuck 'em.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
Mhh17tHQ8WEKVejhrpVLSrhpEX2e9XM4
|
apxubs
|
{
"description": "being upset when my so thinks she knows what's best for my mental health",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset when my SO thinks she knows what’s best for my mental health?
|
Me (23m) and my SO (23f) have a very deep and connected emotional bond. We both struggle with our own mental illnesses and we have grown so close because of our understanding of each other’s insecurities. I can’t see myself with anyone else.
She has made huge strides with her anxiety and all though she still has episodes, she copes really well. She is a very emotional individual.
I was admitted to a mental hospital this past year for major depression, anxiety, and signs of psychosis.
I’ve recently had an issue with medications making things worse. When I told her about this, we both agreed that meds weren’t supposed to be long term. Then she starts talking about what would work. Prefacing with; “saying you want to get better, but not having the energy to do so contradicts itself.” That felt like a low blow because *I do* want to get better and *I don’t* have the energy to do so. She then starts telling me that I can’t be reliant on anything other than diet, exercise, a routine, and some meditation to fix me up. She doesn’t believe that there is more to it than just that.
I know there isn’t a magic pill to fix it all. But I’ve tried to consistently do all those things and I’ve still ended up with a gun against my head. I wrote a long message about how I’m not her and tried my best to explain to her that my brain is crippling me severely.
When she tells me what I need to do fix myself up, I can’t help but have the knee jerk, “oh thanks I’m cured” reaction.
I know she is just trying to help but she keeps exemplifying a lack of understanding. She makes me feel like garbage for using medicine to help.
AITA for being so upset and hurt by this? Is she right to think that all I need are some basic lifestyle changes? Is there anything I can do to convey that I truly need the extra help?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
W7woQS5dwhkUyN952X5z9vpmOq9q2ItE
|
avw0va
|
{
"description": "asking my coworker to stop using this smelly oil in our cube",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my coworker to stop using this smelly oil in our cube?
|
Honestly I feel like there’s no way to not be an asshole in this situation, but maybe I’m overthinking it.
I sit in a big open cube area, but I’m walled off with 1 coworker’s desk. My coworker seems to use a lot of natural oils and sprays as natural remedy stuff for things like anxiety and health.
There’s this one smell in particular which to me smells like burnt weed or moldy oregano. It’s not overwhelmingly pungent, it’s possible that I am more sensitive than others and that no one else can smell it. But it’s noticeable to me, and I both hate the smell and feel like it irritates my allergies a bit.
I’m not dying or anything so am I totally an asshole for wanting to say something like, “hey, I don’t know what that smell is but I hate to say it’s unpleasant for me, would you be willing to avoid using it at work”?
I’m just afraid I’m going to mess up the pleasant coworker relationship we have by being seen as a needy nuisance. Like maybe I should just suck it up.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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af54gd
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{
"description": "being upset that my best friend is getting close with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset that my best friend is getting close with my ex?
|
My ex and I broke up a couple of weeks ago and I admittedly have not handled it well. It started with seeing his name appear on my best friends social media likes, recent messages, etc. She is my best friend but does like attention and has never been one to deny it. I tried to explain to her that this hurt me and she basically said I “didn’t own him” and “needed to stop being crazy” (exact words). He is my only ex boyfriend and we were together for 11 months so I feel that it is not crazy for me to be upset. This escalated last night when I noticed my ex’s and my bestfriends snapchat location showing they were together at her house around 8 pm. Her parents are out of town leading me to believe they were there alone. Upon asking her about it she freaked out on me, claiming he had just taken her home from somewhere. When I asked more questions she pretended like she didn’t know what I was talking about. Today she came to school (we are seniors in high school) wearing his clothes. I confronted her about it, we fought, and aren’t speaking currently. Am I The Asshole here for being upset?
TL;DR: I think my best friend is trying to make a move on my ex. Maybe I’m just dramatic.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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sBmNxjMAtnBJijaUSm40kmu512sv9wg0
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afo3pn
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{
"description": "dropping a friend after she treated me more like a therapist than a friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for dropping a friend after she treated me more like a therapist than a friend?
|
This is long and has some talk about self harm, just a quick warning ahead of time.
Okay so i have this friend. She has fucked up, super controlling parents and she always ranted to me about her parents and I could relate, because my parents aren't the greatest either, so I'd reassure her that once she moved out for uni she would feel significantly better and more free.
So she moved into residency for her university back in September, and I moved into my apartment in a different city. I'm in second year so I know how busy and overwhelming the first few weeks of a semester can be, but bc she took a gap year and was only going into first year, she was unprepared for the work load and adjustment period. She would call me almost every day and ask for advice on how to talk to people on her floor, how to meet people in her program, etc, and I'd explain how to do so while attempting to get through my own workload and readings.
I didnt mind helping her at first, but then she started getting more demanding while also not taking my advice. She'd call me while I was in lectures and spam me with messages demanding that I answer her call because she had something to ask me, but every time I'd tell her I was in class, she'd get angry and upset and throw a fit, and I'd feel bad for not answering her. She would also refuse to take my advice on how to meet people and she would always lament and complain that she doesn't talk to anyone, and I'd ask her if she did what I'd recommended and she'd say no, then go on to expect other people to talk to her first.
I got tired of that, but I didnt vocalize this bc she needed someone to rant to and I'd rather her rant than have her bottle it all up. Then she started talking about her mental health and her self destructive thoughts, and at first I'd attempt to help her, because I have a history of self harm and I'd give her alternatives. I always felt exhausted after those conversations and in a worse mental state, and it very quickly started bringing back the same shit I'd dealt with five years before. It got to the point where I'd dread answering her calls because I KNEW that she was going to talk about that stuff and not listen to me saying that it put me in a bad state that hindered me to the point where I couldn't complete my school work.
It got to a point where I snapped at her and said, "This stuff is affecting my schooling, I want to help you but its bringing back bad memories. You have counseling services offered to you on campus, use those". After that she sort of backed off and stopped calling, and then stopped contacting me altogether, leaving my snapchats on read constantly. I found out from a mutual friend that she had turned to him to rant to instead of me and didn't go to the counseling, and he had the same reaction as I did after 2 months of her only talking about her mental health and not listening to him. He called her out on treating both him and I the same, and she twisted it around and ended up blocking him after an argument in which she said he was only acting like this bc she "wouldn't send nudes" to him (he's never asked her for nudes, and she even got jealous when he flirted with me and not her?) and then shaded both me and him for have a fwb relationship and essentially called me a slut for it (????).
After he told me this I got upset at her for twisting his words and not listening to the points he was bringing up, how he felt she treated both him and i like therapists instead of friends. I stopped responding to her altogether and I still recieve calls and voicemails (where she's crying) from her despite this happening in early December.
Am I the asshole for getting upset at her and for taking our mutual friend's side? I feel bad for ignoring her and not answering her calls, but I also dont want to be put in a bad mental state again, especially since im so overwhelmed from second semester. (Also I'm sorry this is so long but it's like 4 months of drama with her and I tried to keep the more important details but I suck at editing.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a5plMX02dxRl4EFrOG134O66QEjfqW1r
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b33jiy
|
{
"description": "making sex jokes with my friends while on a relashionship",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making sex jokes with my friends while on a relashionship?
|
So I (22F) am in a relationship with (21M). We've been together for around 2 years now.
We lived together for over a year, but i moved away for my studies in september (2hours drive). So new school, new friends.
Now my bf has always been the jealous kind, while i am not at all, i just trust him and if he cheats on me. well i'll leave him, not going to ruin my mood thinking of things what "might" happen.
Anyway, 2 months ago my bf found some fb messages some friends from my new school sent me, particularly three. First two from a good friend, let's call him M, one being "you can come to the party but you have to sleep in my bed" and the second one "you're gonna blow the candle lmao"
Third message was from another friend from my new school , and was a drawing of a boy smelling a girl a-hole (charming i know)
So he got really hungry, told me I am a whore for letting people talk to me like that, that they just wanted to get me, and that i was hungry for c*cks. (Charming again, i know)
I tried to explain to bf that those were just jokes, M said to sleep in his bed precisely because at parties i always sleep on the couch and not in his bed because i have a bf. The drawing was because second friend drunkenly told he liked to smell ass. Why not.
So i have no feelings but friendship for these guys, nothing sketchy ever happened with them! And IF they wanted me they wouldn't say such things would they? You don't get the girl by telling her to "blow the candle"
I said sorry anyway, because those messages are chocking and i understand that he would feel mad. So I let go of how bf insulted me and sincerely apologize. He told me that i couldn't continue seeing them or talking to them, and letting them talk to me like that.
Fastforward 1 months, i go to a party with M, thinking that i will talk to him, tell him to stop making sex jokes and such. I go to the party, it goes well, and at around 11pm i get my bf on the phone and tell him where i am. Big mistake. "You're a whore" " you choose them over me" "i told you not to party with them"
I apologize again, things are tense but we don't want to break things of.
So that was a month ago. My bf is at my place for an entire week rn, and in two days he talked about "my friends" and how i should just "go back to them" at least 5 times already. He is not over it at all even thought i stopped going to parties and talking to them as much as i could.
AITA for letting my friends joke like that to me? AITA for feeling really wrong having my bf tell me who to talk to?
I hope this has enough info and not to much mistake english is not my first language. Thank u
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
3RnBEbLblHNrNHBoRN5lLeBRKMPzAT0T
|
b03ll3
|
{
"description": "saying my friend is responsible for my dog getting pregnant",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 25
}
|
AITA for saying my friend is responsible for my dog getting pregnant
|
So rewind back to December. It's the morning of December 24th, and I wake up in a pool of my own blood (thanks mother nature), and go straight to the bathroom from my room down the hall, and let my dog out of my room as I go, that way I can let her outside to potty once I'm all cleaned up. Now, before we go into any more detail on that, I have to backtrack and say that my friend, his wife (former roommates now) and I all knew for sure that my dog was in heat, and they have an unfixed male, hence why she slept in my room. Friend's responsibility is to make sure his dog is put in his crate if he leaves the house for any amount of time if SOMEONE isn't awake and around to watch him cuz their dog literally humps anything that moves (owners included). Back to the story, I come out of the bathroom (literally in there less than 3 mins), and his dog has already tied himself to my female and his owners are nowhere to be found. Turns out friend had gone a few houses down to his dad's and his wife was at work. He'd left his dog out and his logic was "you were asleep and I was only gone 20 mins". He showed back up 15 mins after I walked out to the dogs tied together. His wife and I have gotten into several arguements about this since then with her insisting that sole blame and responsibilities for the incident and resulting puppies (5 of them) is on me, the most recent being tonight. Note: I was working on getting her spayed at the time but didn't have the extra cash even with a county voucher due to bills and unexpected things coming up. So tell me reddit, AITA? Cuz I sure the hell don't think I am.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 25
}
|
WRONG
|
II0ZZtHPYlV7VqH9rU5zPWoAoQ2uqHJS
|
9wkqmr
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my roommate on his birthday",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting angry at my roommate on his birthday?
|
So I'm in university and in my residence you share a bathroom with the person living next to you. From September to now, my roommate has been playing loud rap music in the washroom, even in the morning, occasionally yelling and acting like a buffoon, and always forgetting to unlock my door (which isn't too big of a deal because I can easily open it with scissors or something, but what irks me is when I forgot the first few times to unlock his door, he made a big deal about it and apparently unlocking it like that could cause it to break). Since I'm a non confrontational person, I didn't want to bring up with him, and also because he's much bigger than I am, but over the past two weeks I decided I should do something about it because I cant deal with this bs for another few months. So over the past week - week and a half ish I told him multiple times, at firstly kindly, to turn the music down and to remember to unlock my door. He'd say okay and whatever, but the next day or two, he would be doing the same thing again. I, getting angrier decided to start loudly knocking on the door and yelling at him to stop the next few times it happened again. Yesterday, I once again, kindly, told him if he can stop doing both of these things and he said okay.
This morning, I was woken up at 7:15 am to the sound of awful rap music while the guy was showering and afterwards I heard his mom calling him about something and him laughing. When I went in the washroom after a while, I made a sarcastic comment where I thanked him for waking me up and called him a fucker while I was in the shower. Fed up, I decided I would go file a complaint with my RA, outside her door is a November calendar with birthdays of people living on the floor written on the dates. Turns out it was my roommates birthday today.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
to8C0AsNcWn8FbiHTjQfLfMtyieScx9I
|
aymb0y
|
{
"description": "refusing to get my little brother e-Juice",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA Refusing to get My Little Brother E-Juice
|
So recently I've been watching a lot of r/ videos, and has brought some memories back of some bad experiences (for better or worse). A bit of backstory, I have one younger sibling, who loves to go out often with his close friends and girlfriend for a drink. He usually stays out late and comes back home latest around 2-3am. Because of this, my brother and I don't talk to often, but on the occasion we do it's usually asking if I can help drive him or get him something. Occasionally my brother will ask for booze (since he's 17), I agree, thinking this will give us a chance to talk for a bit. The conversations usually end short as I give him some booze and he shortly leaves with his friends. But one day came along where I decided to refuse help him out and as he usually says "Be a bro".
This story happened about 4 months ago, around the Holidays. I was approached by my brother with his girlfriend while I was playing some Pokemon in my room.
* LB: Little Brother, ME: me
* LB: Hey can you drive my girlfriend and I to a vape store and get us some e-juice?
* ME: Wait what?
He proceed to explain to me that you need to be 19 or older in order to buy stuff for vaping (I had no idea)
* LB: Can you drive us to a vape store, its close by, not even a 10 minute drive.
I think for a moment and how I've been so lenient on him with booze that I decide I shouldn't do this to him as I personally don't support vaping.
* ME: I know I've been easy with you to help you get alcohol but vaping is where I'm going to have to cross the line
* LB: Come on man, its not that bad
* ME: Yes I know vaping isn't necessarily harmful to you but I don't support it, therefore I won't help you go and buy you this stuff for your vape.
* LB: *Scofs* Well OP, there's worse things to get addicted to, vaping isn't bad at all
* ME: Yes but...
* LB: But what? Huh?
* ME: It doesn't present you well, it just looks shitty to me when you go "take a hit" you're so much better than that.
* LB: WOW OK, THAT'S WHY? Honestly OP do some research, vaping great for your health and is definitely less addictive than weed, the booze you've been buying for me and or your dumb gaming. Seriously, you're so stupid man.
He walks out of my room proceeding to slam the door. At that moment, I was pretty pissed off that he came into my room and asks me if I can help him out and after refusing goes on to tell me that I'm in the wrong for telling him, no. I'm still personally against vaping, I find it very unattractive. But what do you guys think should I loosen off about vaping being bad or do you agree with my point of view?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
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|
9u6aq4
|
{
"description": "being upset on my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset on my birthday?
|
Today is my birthday. I am in the camp the believes once you're over 21, birthdays aren't really celebrated. I don't expect everyone to get together and take me out to dinner or something. I don't even expect a cake.
My husband is an amazing husband and father. He is very good to me and our kids, but he is a terrible gift giver. Gift giving is his his worst love language by far. On our birthdays we just exchange small gifts with eachother and I always bake him a birthday pumpkin pie (his favorite.)
Well this year we were talking about what I wanted for my birthday, and I have been really struggling this year in my role as a mom with taking care of myself. So I decided instead of asking for something I need like I usually do, I decided to ask for something I wanted that would be a special treat. I found a scarf on Amazon that I really liked, it was $12. I sent the link to my husband while we were in the same room, and told him that was what I wanted for my birthday.
Fast forward a couple weeks and we were planning what to wear to a wedding that would be the day before my birthday. I asked my husband if he bought me that scarf because I would like to wear it to the wedding. He said no, I sent him the link again just incase and didn't bring it up again because I didn't want to nag him. Also,I know he likes things to be a surprise, so I thought maybe he was just making it seem like he wasn't going to buy it to trick me.
A few days ago I was making biscuits for dinner and made a comment to my husband about a pastry cutter. I said, "You know, a pastry cutter is one of those kitchen tools I think about getting sometimes, but I would only use it a couple times a year and it would just take up space we don't have the rest of the time."
You can probably tell where this is going. I woke up this morning to a pastry cutter on the kitchen table, and a couple other kitchen gadgets he's been complaining we don't have. No scarf.
And then on top of that, he told me yesterday he invited his mom over to watch the kids today so we can go out for my birthday. We don't have money to go out, and his mother coming over means I got to spend the morning of my birthday cleaning the house so it was MIL ready. And I didn't even want to go out, I would have much rather stayed at home with my kids and made a cake with them.
I'm upset, I don't feel like going out. I'm trying not to bitch and moan and just be happy that my husband got me anything. But I'm definitely disappointed and feel like I wasn't heard today.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
WdX0Di5zSMRMHRnruILcxsvHcDElE7Bh
|
az2uph
|
{
"description": "just not accepting that my current gf cheated on her ex-bf for three years",
"pronormative_score": 58,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA when I just couldn’t accept that my current gf cheated on her ex-bf for three years?
|
This girl and I have been in a serious relationship for a couple of months now. We’ve been pretty open about our past relationships and we both have said in the past that honesty between partners are important.
When we were starting out this was the story I knew. She had a boyfriend (guy A) for three years, she found out that the guy was cheating so she broke up with him. They were just starting a long distance relationship (she was assigned in another country) back then. A few months into her new job, and a few weeks after they broke up, she started a relationship with co-worker (guy B). This was brief, lasting just a couple of months. She said she didn’t feel an investment from Guy B’s part, and she felt she still loved Guy A, so she broke up with the Guy B, and eventually got back with her Guy A. They lasted another three years, Guy A even proposed. After a year of being engaged she felt that the guy wasn’t really committed so she returned the ring and they weren’t the same ever since. They finally broke up for good, a month after she met me and we started dating.
A few days ago I learned that she actually cheated Guy A. After breaking up with Guy B and getting back into a relationship with Guy A, she did break things off with Guy B but they continued having sex afterwards. She did this for three years and stopped only after Guy A proposed. She said she did it because she was really hurt by what Guy A did, and it was sort of getting back at him. She said she didn’t have any strong feelings for Guy B, and she wasn’t even sexually satisfied with him (at least that’s what she said to me).
I can’t understand her side. I wanted to know why she did those things. She’s telling me that this was in the past, and she was stupid back then. I believe her, she’s a nice girl, and in all fairness to her she’s the one that brought the thing up and confessed everything.
Now I told her that I’d reassess our relationship. I starting to get more details about her relationship with guy B since I need to understand and empathize with her. I’m a guy big on fidelity, I’ve said to her in the past that I’d never would have given Guy A a chance back then. Now I’m thinking of ending things with her.
AITA here when I wasn’t the one she cheated on?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 51,
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
yKrKsNWm2Ik7nwDGyVsVNv0gexMJnmIe
|
agg8gh
|
{
"description": "not wanting my girlfriend to go on her dream trip",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 21
}
|
AITA for not wanting my girlfriend to go on her dream trip?
|
So, my girlfriend and I began as friends 3 years ago evolving to bestfriends and now we have been dating for almost 6 months. We have a friend in common which is my GF's bestfriend and she bought a trip for my girlfriend and her which is my girlfriend's dream destiny. When my girlfriend found out I acted all surprised and happy for her, but in reality I'm a little bit pissed off at our friend because I was planning on doing the same trip when we did 1 year, I even already started saving money and all... Also I'm quite upset because our friend only informed me when she had paid for everything and booked the travel for valentines, meaning I won't be able to spend valentines with the woman I love...
Now, my girlfriend has been called for a surgery she's been waiting for 3 years and the surgery is going to be at the end of January. I'm ashamed to say this, but I'm kind of hoping the doctors won't allow my girlfriend to travel, because I think our friend should have told me about the plan previously, especially since they are going to travel on valentines. I don't want to say anything to my girlfriend because I don't want her to go mad or sad in her dream trip, and I can't really say anything to our friend because she'll just tell my girlfriend...
So reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
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}
|
WRONG
|
X694GQAVjN9r5d2OzelVFHf9UTlRt1Ic
|
ao59am
|
{
"description": "blocking a longtime friend over a single creepy message",
"pronormative_score": 38,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for blocking a longtime friend over a single creepy message?
|
Hi all! Made a reddit account to ask this based on the advice of a mutual friend between both the parties here, and I would like to receive judgement!
​
So I'll cut right to the chase, I (lesbian/22) spend 90% of my free time on chat sites that have no association to my real life identity because it lets me really just relax and be me without the fear of harassment or long term judgement. I have a few friends on these sites that I've had for a few years now, including one I've known for 3 years that we'll call Rocky.
​
Now Rocky and I get along really well, we're both into the same things, and due to the anonymity we can talk to each other about stuff we can't talk to people we know in real life, namely anime girls/hentai. (laugh all you want). However I have made it clear I'm gay and would never reciprocate his feelings, which he seemed to understand (I know it sounds weird to warn people about that beforehand but trust me, it helps in the long run.) and the one time he said he thinks I'm "probably beautiful" I shut it down saying I am not looking to be hit on, we can talk about hentai but I do not want to be an object of your desires. He agreed and we were fine for like 8 months.
​
However last week, we were talking about something I won't get into when he says "Damn I'd kill to see you masturbate to that x)"
​
I was at a lost and kinda... panic blocked him? I haven't wanted to speak to him again, honestly I feel betrayed and posting this isn't easy. A mutual friend said I'm not in the wrong but he's really sorry and I should at least hear him out. When I refused she accepted it, but I still felt guilty since he was apparently like crying over it. She said I shouldn't feel bad and if I am conflicted I should ask about it here. Am I in the wrong?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 33,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
Fu6kYYcqhe0Sy1kdzdISTZQFRYrdeJm2
|
b51z3n
|
{
"description": "being mad at my ex gf for being happy",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for being mad at my ex gf for being happy?
|
I don't imagine this will get much traction, I just need to vent a little. TL;DR at the bottom.
So basically we broke up in August, which I recognise is quite a while ago now, but I was completely heartbroken and it really sucked. However, we stayed close friends and I still consider her to be one of my favorite people (maybe a little masochistic). Anyway, in October (so not that long after, considering we were dating for over a year and a half), my ex informed me that she planned on starting dating again and I was like, okay, this still sucks but you've got to move on with your life.
She started seeing this guy, who's super nice and I really like and he makes an effort with me so I'm really supportive of her being happy and I'm glad she's found someone really great, even if it can't be me.
The only problem is that is still really hurts when I see them together, when they're holding hands and giving each other like caring looks, you know, the usual beginning of a relationship stuff.
Just hanging out together, as a group, I have no problem because he's very easy to get along with. Like I said, I like him as a person, and she's still a really good friend so I feel like a massive asshole being mad at them for expressing their love for each other when I'm around. It's just the cutesy little things that I remember us doing when it was her and me together. It also sucks that I'm now the only single one in our friendship group (that she introduced to me).
I'm afraid of bringing it up to her in case she gets defensive and I seem like I'm being petty and should just get over it. I'm not even sure she realizes it hurts me. But sometimes when we've been hanging out for a while, the jealousy spills out in little nuggets of meanness, and I feel like a class A jerk.
So AITA? Or is it okay for me to be upset with her for being, in my opinion, a little tactless?
TL;DR ex and I broke up in August. I still hang out with her, and her new boyfriend, but sometimes get irrationally angry/jealous when they're being cute together.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
oK1NlThhhrkVCEQeSHpY12ES62rvakvc
|
arqliv
|
{
"description": "flying to our holiday overseas early without my gf to save myself $600",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For flying to our holiday overseas early without my GF to save myself $600?
|
Okay so basically my gf goes to University and can only go abroad for a holiday with me on certain dates, since the flight companies are aware of this, flights go up roughly $600 return. I don't like that.
If I left a couple days earlier (and a day later on the way back) than my GF, I'd be able to get a return flight for $600 less. She can't change her dates so she'll have to fly by herself.
She's really mad at me and is telling me I don't care about her, when I do, but it's a 5-6 hour flight each way, surely that doesn't compare to saving myself $600.
So, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "dropping a friend",
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|
AITA For dropping a friend
|
First let me say this happened when I was 18, I am 22 now. I started a job and quickly became friends with one of my coworkers and we began to hang out (no romantic feelings). Anyway flash forward 6 months he goes to Disneyland for the weekend but ends up in the hospital when he comes back. When I talk to him he tells me he got some bad pot and had a really bad high; this struck me as odd because back then, you could only smoke medicinally in CA and while he had a card the shops were regulated so I didn't think something bad could get in. Anyway over the next month it comes out that it was not pot that ended him in the hospital but meth (which to point out he was 22 at the time so he was old enough to know) He had continued meth when he came back and began drinking at work which of course got him fired. He went to rehab and I didn't hear from him for another 3 months til a Facebook message with him apologizing to me. While I appreciated the apology I had no interest in rekindling our friendship nor was I forgiving because I didn't want to get mixed up with that. I was also in the middle of a nasty breakup and to be honest didn't want to deal with it. Long story short I ended up hurting his feelings immensely by not forgiving him, and he blocked me on all social media and my number. A year goes by and I decide to try and reach out to him to no avail. It has been another two years and despite making another account I can't find him, so even if I wanted to apologize I can't. I won't ever condone that behaviour but being older I now understand mental health and addiction better and feel terrible that I can't make amends. AITA for not forgiving him when I had the opportunity?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "asking my pregnant wife if she ate all the icecream",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 14
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|
AITA for asking my pregnant wife if she ate all the icecream?
|
I'm in one of those sticky situations with my wife where she thinks I'm being a moron. She's in her third trimester.
So, yesterday I really wanted to eat some icecream. We had two buckets of our favourite mint chocolate chip ice cream in our fridge. So, I go to get some if it and it's all gone. So I asked my wife if she knew, and she told me she ate it.
I asked her if she ate two buckets. She denied there were two. I understood and I couldn't control myself. I started laughing out loud. She just started crying and accused me of not believing her and called me an asshole.
Now, I'm on the couch. Wtf did I even do? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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"description": "always sitting in the window seat",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
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|
AITA for always sitting in the window seat?
|
Like most, I hate the middle seat. I travel a lot for work and will always pay extra for a window if I have to. I'm kind of tall, feel trapped in the middle. The usual. I do anything to get the window.
​
My wife just wants to be with me. It's cute and I like it even though we rarely talk once in the air. She prefers not being in the middle, but it doesn't bother her that much as she's short, leans on my shoulder to sleep sometimes, and her top priority is to always sit with me. It works out great when there are only two seats on one side and she can be aisle, but she sits middle every other time.
​
She started making snide comments recently about how it "might be nice to have a window" occasionally, so I booked her in the window for our flight today right in front of me. She got happy when she had 10F today (window) and then disappointed when she realized I was sitting in 11F, not 10E (middle). It was a short and full flight so we didn't swap but she was obviously upset.
​
I know I'm an idiot for not realizing that she wanted me in the middle (not to have a window ahead of me), but AITA if I refuse to sit in the middle so she can have the window? In my opinion, the way we usually do makes sure we both have our top priority (me: being window, her: being next to me).
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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{
"description": "not letting my roommate eat my pizza",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
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|
AITA for not letting my roommate eat my pizza?
|
So we ordered pizza a while ago and didn't finish. I put a slice in the fridge and forgot about it. Like I'd been in and out of the fridge since, and although I knew it was there, I never paid it any mind.
Well yesterday, my roommate was looking for some food and ask if he could have my pizza. I had just bought a box of little pizza bites and assumed he meant those. I told him no, he couldn't have them.
He told me that that's not what he meant. He was talking about the pizza slice from forever ago.
Again, I said no.
He didn't get upset, but pointed out that I didn't even remember that pizza existed. He was right, but he had picked a time when I was hungry to remind me. I wanted it.
Am I an asshole for not letting him have it?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "being upset at my parents for a car accident that I got into",
"pronormative_score": 1,
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AITA for being upset at my parents for a car accident that I got into?
|
Throwaway account for obvious reasons
Two days ago I was in a car crash, luckily I only made it out with only a little bruising. I lost control of my car after the back tire blew out and totaled my car. My parents are having to pay $500 in damages and I feel like shit but I’m having trouble with taking all the blame.
To start my dad originally got the car for $50 not $50,000 but $50 from a stranger who bought a car from his dealership. After that it was stolen for a bit and during that my brother wrecked his car so he got mine and I was left with Uber. Which would’ve been ok if he hadn’t completely trashed the car while he had it, he’d do donuts in parking lots, hot box it constantly, and he even got in a few minor accidents. By the time I got the car their were 23 problems in the transmission alone and it couldn’t go on highways because it couldn’t go fast enough. I still loved having a car though and all the freedom that came with it.
Then came two days ago. While avoiding the freeways I went down a backroad that they warned me about but like I said the car can’t make it on the freeway. I was on my way to my friends house when I hear this screeching noise coming from my car and before I know it I’m being helped out by some Good Samaritans who heard the crash.
The crash itself wasn’t that bad but my car was in pieces and I got pretty beat up (the airbags didn’t go off) I was just thankful to be alive but my parents won’t let me forget that the crash was all my fault and that after I buy myself a new car that I owe them the money back. Which is gonna be hard because I now have to get a job within walking distance from my house, still I get it. I told them that I’ll take full responsibility for the crash as long as they recognize that they’re to blame for some of the elements that went into it. They dismissed me completely and continue to act like I’m just some dumb teenager trying to shift the blame.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "making a person get off my chair",
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"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA for making a person get off my chair
|
For further context, I rudely made someone get off my chair in university when clearly I left my bag on it just so no one would sit on it
Now usually I'd forget I even did this but the guy starts throwing a hissy fit and starts threatening to beat me up just after getting off my chair
So now I'm just wondering, am I really the asshole? Like yeah sure I did tell the guy to rudely to get off but that was only because I was in a hurry to send an email
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "thinking my Bf's Friend Hates ME",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
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|
AITA I Think My Bf's Friend Hates ME
|
I don't really know if this belongs here but I want to know if I'm crazy. Here's some backstory:
I started dating my bf this past December. He works as a landscaper and there's a guy, who we'll call Joe, that he has worked with for years and is friends with. Bf doesn't drive so when we spend time together I pick him up. Landscapers obviously can't work when it's raining a lot or has rained too much. When that happens bf sometimes stays over at my house. Sometimes Joe will call bf a lot. I thought it was a little weird but no big deal. Joe is also bf's ride to and from work. Okay, with that out of the way, here's the story.
Bf was sick and took days off work. He wanted to stay at my house so he came. Joe messaged me to see if bf was with me. Bf went back to work and found out that Joe had told their co-workers that bf was staying out of work just to be with me. We were very upset by this because that's not what happened. Bf told me that he got that straightened out and that is how he is.
So then bf ended up with the flu not long after so he was out of work a few more days. Joe messaged me again looking for bf. Bf was at home and had been sleeping because HE HAD THE FLU and wasn't even answering my calls, but I told him I would tell bf to call. Bf told me that Joe had called him many times which pissed bf off because Joe didn't have any real reason for calling other than to bug him because Joe was at work and bf was at home asleep. Joe told bf that if he wasn't at work the next day then he didn't need to come back at all. He really thought bf was with me and not sick. Bf was pissed. He called his boss and everything was fine.
Bf and I planned a date night one Wednesday night. Bf mentioned it and Joe had made a comment about me buying bf a truck would stay with me. That hit me the wrong way and I told bf that Joe acted like I wanted bf to lose his job.
Yesterday was my birthday. I've been on a weight loss program since October and I've lost 73 pounds. I am so proud of myself and told myself if I stuck with it and done well I would take my birthday off work, with no kids, and do something for myself. I asked bf in late January if he could come and his boss oked it. We had a great time! I was looking at my Facebook notifications this morning and saw that there was something from Joe. I find it and it said, "happy birthday when can I have my helper back lol" On my freaking birthday! I don't know why this upset me so much but it did. Bf sees it and tells him that he needs to stop saying things like that because it bothers me and makes me feel like he hates me.
I just feel like Joe is acting like an overprotective mother that's afraid someone is trying to take her baby away or even like a jealous person with a crush. I just don't understand why he acts that way or why it bothers me so much. That's about all I can think of right now. So, now I ask you all.......Am I the asshole???
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "letting my sick MIL hurt my feelings",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for letting my sick MIL hurt my feelings
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AITA for getting my feelings hurt for something my sick MIL is (or isn’t) doing?
Some backstory: My BF and I have been living at my MILs house for a couple of months while the house we bought together is being renovated. About a month ago, she was having trouble breathing and went to the hospital. While at the hospital, we visited her and got her anything she needed. One day she said she wanted us to bring her pills that were by her bed to help her sleep. We bring the pills.
Just to be sure she can take them, we checked with the doctor to make sure these pills won’t interfere with anything she’s already getting. She was furious. Tried to rip the pills out of my boyfriends hand. Starts yelling and saying all kinds of hurtful things about my boyfriend (that she knows will bother him), that we don’t love her, and when I try to say something she tells me to leave her family alone. We end up leaving the hospital with her yelling even though the doctor told her she was approved to get the same pills but it has to given to her by the hospital.
Fast forward to when she comes home: She keeps her distance from us. We keep our distance because there was no apology or thank you after we cleaned the whole house from top to bottom so she can come home to a clean, sterile environment. She’s still not fully recovered or back to her old self and after a while, my boyfriend puts their differences aside and tries to be there for her. I talk to her here and there.
One thing he’s always done and expected from me as well is kissing his mom on the cheek before we leave the house and when we come back home. I used to do it before but stopped after the whole situation. Since she’s still not back to normal, I try to start doing it again but when I kiss her on the cheek now I get the cold shoulder. She turns her head away from me and doesn’t kiss me back. You ever tried to kiss or hug someone and they obviously didn’t want it? That feeling.
When my BF does it she kisses him back. It hurts my feelings when my kiss is obviously not wanted and so I stop doing it. It ruins my mood and my boyfriend is upset that I don’t do it anymore, that she’s sick and I should put my feelings aside. Am I the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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|
WIBTA for leaving her on her own?
|
Hey AITA, long time first time, etc etc. I am 23, and have been in an off again, on again relationship for 8+ years. Over the past year, me and the now ex-gf have grown apart. We are currently still living together in the apartment complex that I am working at.
Living with my ex (which is actually more peaceful than living with my gf) has eaten away at me for quite some time. I threatened to quit my job and move out a couple months ago during an argument, and she begged me for a month so that she can find a new job and relocate out of state. It's now going on two, and while she's made some progress, I can't stay here forever. She's selfish and manipulative. I'm doing my best to be the better person and give her time to sort her shit out, but I'm just about at the end of my rope. My hours got cut again at work and I'm just barely making bills work as it is. I've had a place to live lined up for the past 2 months.
If I were to quit my job, she'd have 7 days to vacate the apartment. I can't shake the feeling that I'd be the asshole for leaving like that. Tell me how I should feel.
Thanks yall.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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| null |
AITA for this Break Up
|
Story Time. I was dating this girl for a good bit and eventually she dropped me for someone else she loved more then me. Eventually, months later, she asks me out again. I (the idiot I am) said yes. We dated again for quite a bit. On Valentines Day she asked me not to get her a gift but I did so anyway. Getting her a box of assorted candys, a letter I wrote myself, and a stuffed lobster toy. Then exactly one day later she came to me and told me she still loved the person she dropped me for originally. So I got mad and told her she was Toxic and then dumped her. I told her she was a total asshole for making me go through the same thing before. And idk if what I did was the right decision or if I should have kept her, thoughts?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "ghosting all of my friends",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For ghosting all of my Friends?
|
A few months ago I went fully no contact with my friends. I feel as though it had been a long time coming. There were a few reasons I did it.
1. They tried to show me nudes in front of my girlfriend when we went to dinner. I was just so dumbstruck by why they would even think it is a good idea. On top of that they continually would try to get me to check out girls both in front of her and not in front of her. I told them multiple times that I didn’t appreciate it but they didn’t get it.
2. One member of my friend group was accused of sexual assault. I wasn’t at the party mentioned but another member of the friend group walked in on him doing it. Yet they all just kind of wrote it off and didn’t do anything about it. That really rubbed me the wrong way and made me question their morality.
3. Anytime I would try to bring up issues that I had with them they would completely dismiss them and even get openly angry at me.
So with all of this I just didn’t want to put in the work to fix it anymore. But at the same time I worry that I might have been to rash and maybe should have given them another chance. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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"description": "thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend. I feel she doesn't respect me",
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|
AITA I am thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend. I feel she doesn’t respect me.
|
First I will say that in many ways my girlfriend(39) treats me(37) better than most of my exes have. We met in high school and dated for awhile. I then moved out of state and the long distance thing didn’t work for us. We both moved on and had numerous relationships. I was married for 15 years she had 2 marriages lasting 14 years total.
About a year ago we ran into each other and things kinda picked up were they left off. Within weeks she moved in with me and things were going good for awhile. Then shit got weird. She lets her dad control almost every aspect of her life. He tells her how and when to do almost everything.
She has since started distancing herself from her dad. Now that she has been around my family and sees how a normal family acts with each other.
My big issue is her talking to her ex a lot. I have told her it bothers me and she says she understands. But if he calls instead of asking him what he needs she will have a 30-45 minute phone conversation with him. They have no children or property together. She has lied to me about them talking and I have seen her deleting text messages between them before.
There are never any sexual undertones to their calls or texts.
She also has a “brother” that lives out of state that calls often 4-7 times a day and then texts constantly.
She allows her friends to be blatantly disrespectful to me as well without saying anything to them “oh that’s just how she is”
I have a child with my ex and keep any calls or texts child related and never delete anything off my phone.
And not that any of them have but if any of my friends disrespected her I would have to seriously consider if I want that friendship to last.
So AITA for considering ending this relationship?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not playing baseball for my school",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA If I Don’t Play Baseball For My School?
|
Recently I have lost interest in baseball over other sports and have always played baseball since I was little and I told my mom and she didn’t like it. We’ve talked about it and she texted me earlier that she would “quit” smoking if I played again. I’m really conflicted because I have told my mom since I was little to quit smoking.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "not supporting my parents' plan to rescue an abused dog",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not supporting my parents’ plan to rescue an abused dog?
|
The dog across the street from me is often neglected and abused by her owner. She is kept on the chain 18 hours a day, all day, with barely any food or water. When it rains, she doesn’t even have a shelter. She’s skinny, malnourished, and starving for attention and love. It’s incredibly sad, but the owner has proven interest in keeping her, which is why animal control doesn’t give a shit. My parents have called animal control numerous times, so has many of the other neighbors. I do want to see her rescued and given a new home.
My parents called a pit bull place a few hours away from us, and they have expressed interest in taking her, but they can’t come here. My parents planned to kidnap her and drive her the three hours. But since my neighbor has cameras, they did this in the middle of the night. At 4:30 in the morning they took the dog off the leash, put her in the car, and are currently taking her to a pit bull friendly shelter three hours away.
Personally, I don’t like this plan. Not only is it illegal to kidnap a dog that isn’t yours, but it’s stupid. The guy is an angry drunk and has assaulted people before just because of noise complaints. He has a history of violence, and I’m afraid that once he sees through my parents’ faulty plan and thin lies, someone in my family is going to get hurt. I suggested the shelter people come here and get the dog themselves, or go through animal control by saying they have proof the owner is neglecting the dog. Everybody shot down those ideas. Everybody involved wanted to go along with the kidnapping plan, everyone except me.
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "taking a new job and underestimating the amount of taxes that would be taken out of my signing bonus to my wife",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking a new job and underestimating the amount of taxes that would be taken out of my signing bonus to my wife
|
My wife and I have been rebuilding our lives over the past 7 months after my failed business and year long separation which was very close to divorce, but ultimately resulted in us giving it another chance. We have 2 young kids and our family dynamic is very important to both of us. A big goal for both of us has been to get our savings in a spot where we can buy a home for our family and get out of the apartment that has so much baggage so that we can enter into the next phase of our lives.
About 6 weeks ago I started a new job. It was a tough decision, since I had to leave some unvested stock at my old job which would have gone a long way toward a down payment on a house and I would need to get a car for the new job. I negotiated a big signing bonus and higher salary to account for the cost of switching jobs and getting a car. My wife and I agreed together that I should take the job.
Now I have been paid the bonus and a huge amount of income tax was taken out, which has convinced my wife that it was the wrong decision to take the new job. The math did not work out in the way that we hoped. Once this became a very heated issue, I thought about the stock at the old job and realized that tax would have been taken out of it as it vests also, so we didn’t have as much there as we thought either, but I haven’t shared that part with her yet.
I think it was still a good move to take this higher paying and bigger opportunity of a job, but she is convinced that I am selfish and shouldn’t be trusted since I didn’t get our savings account the the balance we were expecting and it is going to take us longer to save for the down payment than we expected. I’d like to have a productive conversation about it but am giving her some time to calm down because she’s not herself right now. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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|
{
"description": "not allowing my fiances wedding guests to bring a +1",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 27
}
|
WIBTA for not allowing my fiances wedding guests to bring a +1?
|
Using a throwaway, just wanting some advice.
So my fiance and I are in the process of planning our wedding day, and we recently started thinking about the guest list. I have always had plans to have a large guest list, so we agreed early on that we would have a no +1 rule except for married and engaged couples, and guests that aren't family should be kept to only ones we are genuinely close with.
Well it turns out my boyfriend didn't realise how many people I had planned to invite, and it GREATLY outnumbers his list of guests. My boyfriend has about 6 people on his list to invite, I have over 100 lined up. He has on his list his parents, and 4 of his friends.
He has never been good and making friends, and has pretty much only had his 4 friends throughout his life. None of his friends are married, or engaged, or have kids. 2 of his friends have short term girlfriends, 1 is single, and the other has been with his girlfriend for about a year.
My boyfriend asked if we could ignore the rule for his friends, so that they would be more comfortable, and also to have more people he knows on his side (he is friends with all of these girls, but not close enough that they would be considered as individual guests). My answer was no, because it's not fair to guests on my side. We agreed I would think it over before making a definitive choice, so I haven't said no for sure yet.
WIBTA if I said no? I have friends who have longer relationships who aren't getting a +1, and I don't think it would be fair to bend the rules for a couple of people, and not the rest.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 27,
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"NOBODY": 5,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 27
}
|
WRONG
|
2RzuZ6wxYii7WZv1J8emFAB9gZP5sDSr
|
ap5akf
|
{
"description": "yelling at a customer",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for yelling at a customer?
|
So, I work retail, and yesterday I had a particularly stressful day because we were severely understaffed for the amount of foot traffic that we had. At some point I ended up being the only person ringing people up at our registers and I get to this lady who is insisting that I totalled up her items wrong. I tried to show her how the clearance items she bought were discounted on her receipt, and even totalled up her purchase on a manual calculator in front of her. She insisted that it was still wrong. At this point, I have a long line forming behind this woman and people are getting impatient. Then she tried to accuse me of being "racist against Mexicans" which, would be dumb because I am literally half Hispanic. I am fairly light-skinned, but still. I told the lady this, and then she called me a "fucking faggot" (I am also fairly butch) and I said "excuse me???" And she repeated what she said. So I told her "get the fuck out of my store"
Then she says that I can't talk to her like that, but I just told her that it was HER who couldn't talk to ME like that and then I handed her purchase to her and told her to leave again.
Am I the Asshole for being so brash?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
u5xImqRJqD466s5VowriGMzeW9KtgSf6
|
abndtp
| null |
AITA for my fiance not wanting talk to me?
|
Hello everyone, I think this may be a little long but please bear with me
​
First of all, I'd like to say that right now, I (22M) am so stressed out and angry that my fiance (20F) told me she was not going to talk to me until I do what she wants. This all started about 4 months ago when I started getting serious into car shopping. Right now, I have an older car, (2005 honda) with over 200000 miles on it. I thought that since my car was so old and was going downhill, it was a good idea to buy a newer car. My fiance thought it was a good idea as well, considering that I would need a new car since the grad school I plan on attending holds courses about 40ish minutes away from the main campus and that I would need to drive a lot to get there and would need a reliable car to do so.
​
With school starting in the beginning of June and my wedding towards the end of June, my fiance and I thought that it would be a great idea for me to get a new car. We both plan on going to graduate school and living together once we graduate from college (she is in the same year as me). One thing my fiance does not understand is that my family grew up poor, only buying what we needed and never spending money as if money was easy to come by. We already have to worry about an apartment that was expensive due to being so close to the school, the cost of the wedding (that my father and I have to somehow find funds for), and tuition. While having a nice car would be great, I was very unsure what I wanted to do.
​
Note: I just wanted to note that I consider myself a very patient and content man and would wait however long it would be to get exactly what I want. I don't like to be spontaneous and buy whatever I want whenever I want it without thinking about all aspects of it. Also, while I can just buy another old car, I would have to pay that off in payments and I do not think that is an option for me and for my fiance, since we wanted a newer car so to minimize the chance that it would randomly break down due to it being an older car and that if we were going to put payments on a car, we rather it be a newer car.
​
On one hand, I could get a slightly used car and spend about $16000 throughout 5 years or lease a new car for about the same price for 3 years. I could also just rely on my old car and hope that it would last just a little bit longer and get a new car when I could actually afford it. Well, my fiance was getting tired of me trying to figure out what I wanted and so she gave me a time limit. I had about 3 months from the end of last year to get a car or she was not going to talk to me until I got one. As of me typing this post, we have not communicated since New Years Eve and it has been killing me. I have never been more upset that I ever had in my whole life. My fiance does not want to talk to me only due to the fact that she gave me a time limit to buy a car and I haven't gotten that done. I do not know what to do and I am not sure if I am wrong for this all happening.
​
So I just wanted to know, AITA for not buying a car by the time my fiance wanted me to which led to her not talking to me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
4GN235weSTtNgdhLfVBJcZg4GUo0pQNB
|
aerd2b
| null |
AITAH because my I don't want my SO to join the millitary???
|
My SO wants to do a program through the military where she could achieve her dream of being a therapist. And normally that would be awesome, but I'm scared that she's not ready for it and that she'll find someone better than me because I have severe separation anxiety and self esteem issues. I know that I should be supportive and I'm trying to be but everytime we talk about it we end up fighting.
TLDR: Am I the asshole because I don't want her to go do something that could possibly make her life (and maybe mine) better?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
18m69TbspqMGU0yqoMIIRExeLHZdtwo8
|
akxhmk
|
{
"description": "not making sacrifices for my relationship",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not making sacrifices for my relationship?
|
My partner and I have been fighting a lot lately. There are plenty of reasons why, but the most concerning to him is that we don't spend enough time together. We both work full time, similar shifts ( just off by a few hours). The problem is that I go to school full-time, too. He knew when we got together that I am going to school. He knew I am aiming for a difficult degree that requires a lot of my time. I've made it clear to him in the past how important this is to me because I've put it off for so long.
​
In our most recent fight he brought up again that we don't spend enough time together. I realize it's not an ideal amount of time, but there isn't much to be done about it. I honestly think considering how busy I am, we spend a decent amount of time together. Dinner almost every night together before I get into homework, I try to take breaks based on when he'll be home, etc. I'm in the last year and half of my degree and classes are only getting harder, meaning I need to spend more time doing homework. I tell him I give him every spare minute I can, but homework comes first. He suggests that I lighten my workload (take fewer classes).
​
I am absolutely floored by this. I think it's an extremely selfish thing for him to ask of me. I tell him so, and absolutely not, it's non-negotiable. I refuse to take fewer classes because he can't cope with the amount of time I do have for him. Honestly I was so blown away that he would even suggest it, I lost my temper a bit. I didn't say the above things in the nicest tone. He surprised that I didn't take that suggestion well and said that he thought that it wasn't that crazy of an idea because he thought the relationship was more important to me than that, and is making me out to be the asshole in this whole thing. I've refused to talk about this any further with him because I just won't take fewer classes because he needs more of my attention. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
nAtzCVKmqwjxrMhJfU9yQIgMN8wTE3RL
|
b0xhpn
|
{
"description": "telling a former friend I didn't want to be friends anymore",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For telling a former friend I didn't want to be friends anymore?
|
Okay, the title seems a bit mundane. I was friends with these 2 girls (Me, 13M) They constantly mocked me and made fun of me and everything. It got to a point where I was afraid to talk to them in fear of being made fun of or yelled at or degraded. So, I was pretty sad one day, for the reasons above, and this girl from a different friend group came up to me and asked if I was okay and that she missed my happy and goofy self. The next day, she asked if I was alright again, and she invited me to their group. This was only about 3 weeks ago btw. I didn't join, because I still considered girl 1 and girl 2 friends. But today, it got to a point where I finally had enough of their shit and I got up and left their table and sat on the table the girl above invited me to.
Now it is this afternoon. I texted girl 1 that I was on the verge of happy tears and that I was done with both of them, and that I made insanely better friends, and that I was tired of being mocked and made fun of, and I called them toxic. She then went absolutely batshit insane and slandered my name among old friends(Not the ones I made today) and she told me to fuck off over instagram and she said she wants me to get the fuck out of her life.
​
Am I the asshole? Were those messages worthy of a reaction like that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
5gMh3lGI76eQvk2BwkeAKjyId4asCbXg
|
a1bc7h
|
{
"description": "giving someone a dirty look for being gross",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for giving someone a dirty look for being gross?
|
So I was driving today and this guy was beside me and he decided to roll down his window and spit on the ground dangerously close to my car and so I gave him a dirty look and said something along the lines of “that’s fucking gross.” Clearly he saw me because when he was stopped beside me later he intentionally started spitting all over the side of my car. So AITA for giving him a dirty look or did he over react and should learn not to spit on the ground cause it’s fucking disgusting?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
wLfXxLx7QawlnateieZ7n5EBdGUDplL2
|
b51xp5
|
{
"description": "not wanting to spend time at my girlfriend's house",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to spend time at my girlfriend's house?
|
My gf still lives at home and so do I. We are both 20 but we haven't been able to afford moving out. I love her and think she's the one, but..
I have a pretty good situation at home. My girlfriend? Not so much. Her parents fight every day, they're poor (actually so poor they had to borrow money from her). They mentally abuse her pretty often as well- they don't know it (I hope) but if she told them they do they'd just say "Well that's how we talk so you better get used to it"(they're that kind of people).
Because of their situation and their crippling marriage, their language is pretty harsh and they get offended easily. Any inconvience becomes a huge problem and it's usually my girlfriend's "fault".
They're pretty nice to me and have only been mad at me once (because I didn't take any photos at a party- sorry I was too focused making it a good party). But they're not nice to my girlfriend, who works really hard to help them. A lot of the time she can't come over because she's busy taking care of her brother (5yo), the dogs or the house. So she always asks me to come over.
I'm getting tired of coming over to take care of their house, kid and dogs. I don't get paid and all I want is to spend time with my girlfriend. I'm okay with helping out with the dishwasher or laundry, especially if some of it is mine. But I'm not their personal gardener or babysitter.
The atmosphere at the house is horrible. Everyone is angry and my girlfriend feels like shit and cries every day because of it. She often gets shit from her parents for stuff that's their fault.
Their house is too small for that many people, and they hoard. It's not the kind of hoarding you see in movies, but there's too much stuff everywhere. A lot of spaces would be open, but they're full of boxes and bags with stuff. The kitchen table is always full of mail, dishes and general stuff. Same goes for every space such as tables, counter tops and the tops of boxes. There's shit everywhere. Any time you turn a corner you're bound to tear something down.
The cherry on top: they have two dogs. One is mostly potty trained. He's about 5 years old. The other is a puppy and he's forgetting all his training because they never practice. He's been peeing inside for a year now. Some parts of the house smell like pee because of it. They don't have time to train him and when they do have time they don't. He also eats a lot of shoes and other things, since he doesn't get any stimulation.
The dogs don't get a lot of walks and don't get fed a lot. Especially the puppy needs long walks since he's a big dog with lots of energy. I don't like leaving my stuff outside my girlfriend's room since I'm scared it'll get eaten/peed on.
I don't like feeling bad and don't like seeing it. I get frustrated and depressed because of the state of the house and the atmosphere.
My gf is not at all like her family.
AITA for not wanting to spend time there?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
fLmV4PAMFh81TIlvYqhffhi8YHSc4Ufk
|
aloyw6
|
{
"description": "not driving my mother to her appointment",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not driving my mother to her appointment?
|
Ok, long story. I help my parents with a ton when they ask, in fact, between my older brother and I, it's usually me that goes out of my way to help. However, when I can't, they tend to try and guilt trip and yell. My mother has been having eye problems, and has to go see a doctor in another town, due to a bad infection. Full disclosure, she claims she can lose her eye if it isn't treated. Though she tends to exaggerate, a lot, about things, I don't know if this is one of those times or not. Also, my parents have an upcoming vacation to Texas, this is important later.
I live in the middle of Illinois, and we've had some very cold weather lately, and many have been calling off work. Well, I'm working a 12am to 8am shift this week, and I have a new position I just got not even 2 weeks ago. I was told that taking a point in my new positions probation period of 1 month is not a good idea, and I'm also almost to a year without taking an attendance point. If I make the year, any and all points I have will be removed. My father also works here.
My mother asked me last night to take her, claims she has no one else to take her. I tell her I have a really chance of being forced over for another 8 hours, as they've forced all the others in my level of position the past 2/3 days due to weather call offs, so I'm at the top of the list. Leaving after a force is also a point. The appointment is at 1pm, and 12-8's are my hardest shift, because I have sleeping troubles as is, but trying to sleep during the day is very hard for me. I usually get off at 8am very tired, but she wants me to get off work, go home, (nearly a 30 minute drive itself), shower, eat, then drive her an hour to another town, be there however long the appointment is, and drive an hour back. A nap beforehand is not gonna be possible, I know my body, I'll either not be able to get to sleep, or I'll sleep right through any alarms. By the time we get back, I'll have very little time relatively to sleep, get up, eat, and drive to work, then be able to stay up all night.
Now they are mad at me, my dad is furious because I guess he has to take a vacation day off to take her, and that cuts their Texas vacation short, (I assume 1 day off their 2 weeks they planned to be there). Idk why they didn't ask my brother, and I don't feel they can use the excuse that he will be working, because this has just as much to do with my job too.
AITA for not risking my job to take my mom to her appointment?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
nriRqewdq5GSjvn8Fnaz9FgvvQZSfSNW
|
9u1a5w
|
{
"description": "wanting my husband to brush his teeth every day",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For wanting my husband to brush his teeth every day?
|
Title pretty much sums up my question. My husband is currently sleeping on the couch and gaming away right now because we got into a fight. He had not brushed his teeth in over 48 hours and tried to cuddle with me. I pushed him away and told him I found it unattractive to not brush his teeth.
This turned into an argument where I told him unless he brushed his teeth every day there would be no kissing. I feel justified because I brush my teeth twice a day every day without fail and I quit smoking for him a few years back because he found it gross, though it's good for my health.
He told me I was nagging him and that if it was so important he would do so and angrily apologized, he explained that sometimes he forgets and feels lazy and doesn't do it. He only brushes his teeth once a day as is, so this is very noticeable.
Usually he never goes that long without, skipping a day then brushing the next and would brush at my request if we were to have sex or cuddle and what naught. I never hardlined him until today because it got to what is in my opinion an absurd length of time to go without brushing. And I'd asked him to work on that kindly in the past. So am I an asshole or what because he thinks I am.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
TLqj0WO1YxwlVBcBGKbAMSkOhofB2aMG
|
af5o9b
|
{
"description": "wanting to chew out our cleaning ladies for throwing out my $200",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For wanting to chew out our cleaning ladies for throwing out my $200?
|
I got around $200 from my uncle on Christmas and it was in a card. I left the card in a bag with other things that I got on Christmas. The ladies who clean our house every couple of weeks came and cleaned the house the other day. I looked in the bag to get my money, but the card was gone and the money too! There were some candy wrappers in there and those were gone too, so I think they tossed it out because they thought it was trash, not looking inside the card. Trash and recycling already got picked up, so the money is gone now.
I really want to yell at them and demand that I get compensated for the $200, but they barely speak English and making them pay me $200 would probably be a lot more devastating for them than losing $200 is for me. Still, $200 isn't chump change, no matter who you are. It's not the first time they've thrown out things that I need, but this is a whole new level. I'm currently living with my parents, so maybe I'll ask mom to fire them for being so consistently careless.
Would I be the asshole here? I haven't done anything yet
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
DIycGpo22uhZhIFUBi3XwMTUwd3ntDPC
|
b3vht9
|
{
"description": "\"firing\" the painting crew before they finished",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I "fired" the painting crew before they finished?
|
We hired a couple to paint a room in our house, finish painting the stairwell, & touch up the ceiling. We supplied the paint for the stairwell. They quoted 750 & we paid half up front.
What we were unaware of, is that they could only paint late evening like past 7/8 p.m. If we would have known this, we wouldn't have gone with them.
They finished the room & the stairwell. We were having issues matching the ceiling color.
What should have taken a few days has turned into a two week ordeal. If I offered them half of the money we still owe and "fire" them, WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 6
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
wADyhm6mt4gxruIfkmYaDIN7LIuFPhOF
|
a0jdzg
|
{
"description": "sitting in the wrong seat",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for sitting in the wrong seat
|
Here's a really short one for you guys.
I was riding on a tram home and I sat down in an empty seat. There were a lot more empty seats if that matters. Basically, when I was about to stand up to exit, I saw that next to my seat was a Red Cross symbol. I felt really bad after I left. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
JrExU3PGnrAPolMi1pWpaR9mcF7ALDP7
|
alyg9q
|
{
"description": "not wanting a relationship with my biological father",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting a relationship with my biological father?
|
Bit of backstory, in order for it to make a bit more sense, in 2010 I moved to the U.S. from Venezuela, just me my mom, brother, and sister. My biological dad and my mom divorced when we were young so the whole impact of it didn't really phase me as I still saw my bio dad every week.
Well after moving to a whole different country, the relationship between my bio dad and I has obviously weakened among the years. There's the usual birthday calls or New Years greetings, but besides that, just small talk every other month or so. Though with these monthly messages always come passive aggressive talks that almost guilt trip me into having a relationship with him. Don't get me wrong, he will always have a spot in my heart as he is my bio dad, but now I have a step dad that I see everyday and bond with daily and love very much. But these messages my bio dad sends me are infuriating, almost as he wants me to talk to him not out of willingness but as "I'm your dad talk to me".
These messages always go something like this "Hey Tazze24 I just wanted to say hi and see how you're doing?" "Oh, everything is going well" "Well Tazze24 I'm so happy, that's good". Now reading aggressiveness through text is tough and this was all translated from Spanish to English so there's definitely some variation, but I think you get the point. Now I certainly know that the "I'm so happy, that's good" was not actually suppose to be nice is because after that, he messaged me about how he wanted to talk to me more and how he and my brother talk all the time. But personally, I don't really want to talk to him daily and have conversations, I just don't really need him to be a father figure anymore.
I don't know, maybe I am the asshole in this situation... It's just annoying being constantly guilt tripped into talking to him more.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
teXgBOMn3Uk0mIhaiUiyPBMlyrenBAB0
|
azoedy
|
{
"description": "telling a kid to not peep in the bathroom",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling a kid to not peep in the bathroom?
|
I was at a restaurant where the bathrooms are single stalls. The doors are wooden with textured glass, like the door to a principals office. I was using the restroom (bottoms exposed!) when someone rattled the handle, pulled and pushed it and then pressed their face against the glass to look inside. It was a kid, and I could make out his face clearly so I’m guessing he could likely see me?
When I got out, the kid was waiting outside. Before he went in, I said “If the restroom is occupied, please don’t try to peek in.” And he stuttered out a “Sorry I didn’t know” before his mom (who was sitting at the table right outside the stall) turned around and started yelling at me. She said “How do you know it was him? It’s frosted glass he can’t see anything, and he’s 10 by the way so I don’t know what you - an adult - are implying.”
She got all in my face and was extremely defensive that I, a stranger, was telling her kid to not peep on women in the restroom. I don’t know if he was being a little creep, or if he’s being a kid and doesn’t know what’s okay and what’s not okay yet. She then said he walked away to check another bathroom, and that maybe some adult man did it and maybe I should go find him to yell at him.
I left the situation because I wasn’t trying to engage with her or cause a scene. Later my fiancé told me he saw the kid do the same thing to another bathroom door as he passed by.
Anyway, given that she was sitting right there, I’m guessing she saw his behavior. I don’t know if she said anything to him or not but her reaction felt completely out of line to me.
Am I the asshole for saying anything to the kid at all?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 14,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
eswgTrPfCFjrU5LDcnmwsQAQOywKHLWT
|
a5p0dg
|
{
"description": "getting upset someone parked in my assigned spot",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for getting upset someone parked in my assigned spot?
|
I work in a large organization and certain people with certain jobs have assigned parking spot. I was super busy all day and had 10 mins to get lunch and come back to a meeting. When I come back, someone is in my spot and I had to park far away, so I'm late to the meeting. I found the guy and his response, 'Well the parking lot was full and I didn't want to walk that far.'
But now, everyone I tell the story to just rolls their eyes and says 'So What? I don't even have a spot'
AITA? Because I feel like one complaining about a parking spot.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
YO9ExLYS5hlT7po0uJBtFQcGeLA4w5LA
|
alrrjf
| null |
AITA got reported at work because I told client about nice picture?
|
TL;DR at the bottom.
A little background is that this girl and I (25F) have worked together for over a year. We're both carers, in an assisted living centre. She's polish, I'm English, and when she first started she was very abrupt and often rude to colleagues and some clients, but I always defended her saying it was because she's from a different country. Eventually she calmed down abit and we all got on well enough, we even went to a few group outings, and always gave advice on each others personal livea, so I considered us friends.
Anyway onto the story. We'll call her Ana. Now Ana went back to Poland for her sisters wedding early January for 2 weeks. When she came back she was back to being rude and abrupt with everyone, but I said it might be from being back with family and falling into old habits. I asked how the wedding went and once everyone left she showed me some pics of the wedding and told me not to tell the others (me thinking she meant the other carers) as she didn't want to show them. Okay cool. I don't say a word. A few days later I'm actually in a call with one of her regular clients and she's talking about Ana and her family and the wedding. So I said didn't she look lovely? The client then says I don't know, I haven't seen any pictures, have you? I say just of her makeup and brush it off, not realising when she said others she meant everyone. My bad but I thought I covered it.
That weekend she is in a foul mood, abrupt speaking, rude, not sitting and chatting as usual, I ask if she's okay and just get the usual so leave it at that. She then proceeds to reprimand a fellow carer/friend for not putting the correct NEW sheet on a clients bed that no one but Ana knew about. Even though my friend went and changed it, she still felt the need to report her the next day. Bit petty and stupid but nothing can be done now. Just give her space.
So 2 weeks go by and one evening I'm not feeling my best. I have two calls which my supervisor/friend offers to help me with, such as washing up etc. I say no as supervisor aren't meant to go into calls with carers but she insists and accept the help. The next day Ana finds out after the client mentions how nice it was to have two carers (client told me this after, said she felt terrible) and rushes down to the office to report me for it. Now I'm pissed off. I've been dealing with alot of Ana's mistakes lately, such as not washing up during her calls, being rude to clients, and not giving a client one of their meds. (I would normally report this but it was only a calcium tablet and the client said it's not a problem)
So today I see her and ask why would she report me for something so petty? She's smirking at me and saying "why not?". Excuse me?
Me- " Why not? Because it was petty and I thought we were friends?"
Ana - "We are Not friends." Oh right.
Me- "Since when? And that still doesn't explain why you reported me over something so trivial? The client didn't have a problem, she told me herself, so what's your problem?"
Ana - "You have a list of things you should do and you did something you shouldn't so I reported you." Still smirking like crazy and making me so angry.
Me - "And yet I didn't report you for the things you should of been doing such as *gives examples stated*"
She's still smirking and shrugging her shoulders.
Me - "Seriously what is your problem?"
Ana - "you didn't say hi to me the other day!".... sorry, what? I ask when and she states when she speaking to other carer.
Me - "You mean when you were having a moan at my friend I was meant to say hi after??" Yeah. "Seriously?"
Ana- "And you told what I asked you not to!" I had no clue what she was talking about so I ask and she states that I told the client about the pictures. I couldn't believe it. I said that was an accident and told her it was just of make up and she just stated again I told you not to say anything.
Me - "So you're telling me, that you reported me fo having someone go into a call with me because I accidently told someone about your photo!?!?!"
Still smirking she states yes. That was it. Fuck this bullshit.
Me - "You know Ana, I don't know what fucking game you're playing, but you can keep playing it, just leave me out of it and leave me the fuck alone." All I get is yeah you too, still with a smirk on her face.
Now I know I shouldn't of told the client about her photo if she asked me not too, but it was by pure accident, and I tried to cover it best I could. Am I the asshole here?
TL;DR - accidently told client about carers nice picture from wedding and she then holds grudge for 2 weeks until has petty excuse to report me, admits it was basically revenge. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
PN7vdKoqYEEs7sRjT13BcfGlGNs0CYMx
|
aoyfl6
|
{
"description": "holding a grudge against my mother",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for holding a grudge against my mother
|
For reference, I'm a 25 M living back with my parents cos I'm recovering from an ACL surgery. I'm gay and came out to my parents when I was 17; father took it well, mother hated it and still doesn't accept it. She put me through counseling and conversion therapy up until I was 20 when I ran away for a bit and told them I had enough. We're on much better terms now, but my mother still hasn't acknowledged the pain she caused. It's hard for her to accept my sexuality cos she's religious, and doesn't see the significance in the pain she caused me. I feel like I'm constantly sharp-tongued with her and rude to her because of it.
​
AITA for being a prick to my mom for pain that she caused me that she refuses to accept?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
2umR1ZR9vjrwu0nv7dqqtD3fejaGR5SS
|
b7skzc
|
{
"description": "being angry at MY AUNT",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA FOR BEING ANGRY AT MY AUNT
|
My grandmother has dementia, she’s getting worse every month. She can still go out on her own, but will do things like put the electric kettle on an open hob where it burns. She has occasionally wondered off and gone missing. She forgets to eat and we can see her withering away. It’s not good, but she is semi independent still.
My Dad and his wife have 2 young kids, they both work full time but live a 10 minute walk from my granny. My aunt (my fathers sister and my granny’s daughter) is a teacher in a different city. She visits occasionally, changing the bed sheets and helps with looking after her mother.
My aunt is now taking a year long sabbatical travelling, she has asked me to change the bed sheets every two weeks. I am a college film student living in a different city. I’m more than happy to change the sheets for my granny, but it’s not like she lives down the road from me. I love her and I know she needs it so I’m happy to do it. I go home to see my therapist every 2-3 weeks anyway so I can do it then. But I feel like it’s irresponsible for her to leave her mum when she’s in a bad state, I can’t imagine her living for another 2-3 years. We are all busy people, but we all do our part to look after my granny.
AITA for being annoyed at my Aunt for leaving at this point in time?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VYSW9nS28uY0KHqsxuWA1G5Zx5NxzGdK
|
a5bkse
|
{
"description": "calling out my buddy for cheating, in front of his wife",
"pronormative_score": 49,
"contranormative_score": 291
}
|
AITA for calling out my buddy for cheating, in front of his wife?
|
The title is a bit more straight forward than it really is.
I have known my buddy since middle school (we are 35 now) and he has always been a serial cheater. Over the past about year or so he has been hooking up with his secretary. I have known about it the whole time (he likes to brag). Up to this point I have never told his wife (or any of his previous GFs when he was cheating on them), it was just one of those things where I said, "not my life, not my problem"
Well last night we got into an argument while we were at a local brewery. It started to escalate and he started throwing in some low blows that really pissed me off. So purely out of anger I say, "At least I am not banging the secretary behind my wife's back!" while his wife was sitting right next to him.
Telling someone they are being cheated on=not asshole move. but does the context change that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 150,
"OTHER": 49,
"EVERYBODY": 141,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 7
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 49,
"WRONG": 291
}
|
WRONG
|
w7JjgHtAKvS4Uc5AADDypUkjGcakeI8Q
|
awnvr3
|
{
"description": "calling my (ex) best friend a d!ck",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for calling my (ex) best friend a d!ck?
|
mobile user btw
(also this is my first post where i actually write so bear with me)
B-bitch that is in the title
Me-me
T1 & T2- good friends that are twins
F-other good friend
I have 3 scenes here
Think of that wannabe rich kid that shows off his Hollister clothes. (no offense to hollister)
The first one was at my birthday party 2 weeks ago. I had it at Round One with bowling and karaoke. B was just being straight-up rude: bowling gutters for everyone, hitting people in the neck as a "joke", and went so far to throw his drink at T1 but missed and hit F and got his sweatshirt stained. And then B complains about having these fingerprints on his hollister shirt. He started fights during the party as well. I did say some things to him, like stop bullying everyone you dumbie and fuck off tho
Fast forward to a few hours later, at my house cause I wanted to have a slepover with my friends. B says to me that he didnt want anyone touching his stuff so I told T1,T2, and F and theywere perfectly fine with that. We wanted to play super smash ultimate but B didnt even want to talk to us. All he did was hook up his xbox into my monitor, and played minecraft the whole time. The only time he went out was to try to talk, but then a fight happened. He started saying a girl (that was pretty much a little sister to me) was super annoying and childish. I told him to f off but then the argument gets to a point) that we told him to stop braggin about his Hollister and B said stuff about influencing the whole school to wear Hollister which isnt true cuz my cousin got me hollister but whatever
I kinda feel like Im not a good friend cause i didnt try to mend bridges or anything I just let it be
And.. now the final part
If you arrive before school starts, you sit in the gym on the bleachers, and i was sitting close to B (note that Im on a soccer team outside of school and made and the school soccer and volleyball team. B made the soccer team by the slimmest chance and got cut for volleyball) I was asking my other friend if he wanted to come to my volleyball game and this happened:
B- So you think youre better than us cause you made the volleyball team?
Me- No, Im just asking my friend if he wants to see my game.
B- Ya know, your just lazy you dont run at all in soccer your a goalie and you dont do anything in volleyball (note that im kind of overweight 5'4 150 lbs)
Me- Just because you can do lacrosse doesnt mean that whatever I do isnt healthy
B- yeah but you arent moving at all youre just standing there.
And then I called him a dick and walked away
I then see him talking to T1 afterschool asks if I was "still hung up on calling me lazy" to which i flipped him off and walked away
T1, T2, and some other friends also told me that hes been talking bad about me, although I did do the same to him
So, strangers of Reddit, should I mend bridges cause Im TA or is B TA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
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