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VPOcYSAOZf7DbItWO3JEhPmeW40uxyMC
|
axd2wd
|
{
"description": "calling animal control on my relatives",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA For calling animal control on my relatives?
|
Apologizing in advance for any format issues, I'm on mobile.
Alrighty, so here's the info. I really love these relatives of mine, they're really good people, a nice couple, but there's just one problem. They're borderline animal hoarders. (I will be referring the Husband as X and the Wife as Y)
It almost feels like every year that passes, they get a new dog. As of now they have 8 dogs (previously 9) and they had to get rid of one to Y's father. I feel like this animal hoarding is getting out of control and is effecting the household.
The house constantly reeks of urine and the dogs like to drink the green pool water in the backyard. Their house has scattered clothes around the livingroom and hallways and I feel like if maybe if they had less dogs that they would actually put effort into cleaning their house. I've started to hate visiting because it just smells so bad and there's dog hair everywhere.
I'll be honest, I dont WANT to call anyone to take the dogs away, the dogs are cute, but I cant confront them about this issue without X and Y taking it personally. They have a tendency to have a "us against them" mentality with family when any of us try to offer advice.
Should I just let them be and wait for the dogs to just kick the bucket or should I do something about it???
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
mvPYqUO5EuPjfOyhOXEesohKWisr48D2
|
9w51u8
|
{
"description": "purposely crushing a lady's bread",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for purposely crushing a lady’s bread?
|
I work as a cashier at a grocery store. Yesterday was the closest I’ve ever come to walking out and quitting. Saturdays are usually our busiest days, and when you couple in the fact that Thanksgiving is coming up, we were incredibly busy. I’ve been at work for about 2 hours and we’ve been backed up for the whole time and I haven’t been able to catch my breath. I’m lightheaded and my mouth is hella dry. For the first time, I only have one person in my line, meaning if I can get her out quick enough, I can get a little break. I’m almost done, and then a lady with a cartful of groceries pulls into my line.
I start to check her out, and she’s one of the nastiest people I’ve ever checked out. She’s complaining. She says I’m “damaging” her groceries by sliding them quickly and lightly, whining that I don’t have a bagger to help me out, and complaining on the fact that our Buy One Get Ones don’t come off until everything is scanned.
The whole time I’m being as kind as I can. I’m regarded as one of the nicest cashiers we have by both my customers and colleagues, but she’s pushing my patience. I’m almost done with her and then I see two more people pull in my line. Pushed to my limit, I’m putting her groceries into her buggy and purposely drop the big ass gallon of tea she has onto her loaf of bread and wish her a good day.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
XiIualhcwyIYqT66LhrrFh48PbMd65Jx
|
acceyd
|
{
"description": "not paying for a meal",
"pronormative_score": 47,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for not paying for a meal?
|
A few days ago my brother and I went out to eat at a restaurant. We're Muslim, so we cant eat pork. We can't even eat things that have touched pork. While we we order we usually verify if something has pork and ask them to take it off. Usually this works, however this time it didnt. I opened up my burger to find bacon. I was a little annoyed and called over our waiter who got us another order. I verified with the waiter that it had been a brand new burger and they didn't just take the bacon off. Well I open up my burger again and it's got little tiny bits of bacon in it and there are pieces of bacon on the plate because they apparently can't be bothered to take it all off. I get pissed and call the waiter over and verify they said to remake the burger with no bacon and apparently that's what she did. I walk around trying to find a manager and finally spot her. I tell her my issue very calmly, the health concerns of reserving food that got sent back, and I even tell her my religious background to help her understand and she doesn't seem to be understanding the problem. What if I had an allergic reaction to the bacon? Would she still think taking bacon off and sending it back out is a good thing? Her response was
"but you're not allergic."
"That's not the point, I'm paying for a service and I have a right as a consumer to get what I paid for, not anything less. I told your waiter, and she wrote it down right infront of me that I want a new burger with no bacon on a new plate and shes sent back with the same burger on the same plate and they didn't even take all of the bacon pieces off. And because you're so nonchalant about reserving food that has been sent back because something is wrong, this mentality has gone down the chain of command."
And shes starting to laugh because apparently it's not that serious.
Her: "But they took the bacon off."
Me: "So what if they took the bacon off? If I was allergic to bacon do you think just taking the bacon off would be sufficient? Or is it just that you don't respect my religious beliefs that state to not eat bacon?"
Her: "Its not like you're allergic. I'll make you a new burger and make sure it doesnt have bacon."
Me: "No thanks, I don't want to eat anywhere my beliefs are trivialized."
And I left without paying for my brothers meal because dramatic effect. I'd like to say I slammed the door on my way out but it's one of those doors that close silently.
So AITA??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 47,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 47,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
RIGHT
|
jP6FBecE6ElKWFsFujoFkx8WOKD52OhS
|
b53225
|
{
"description": "getting mad about my roommate feeding the dinner I made to the dogs",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting mad about my roommate feeding the dinner I made to the dogs?
|
I made butter chicken for dinner for me and my roommate and she did not like it.
First she commented that the rice wasn't cooked - I told her that that was the way it was supposed to be because it was brown rice, which was healthier.
I asked her if she wanted me to heat up pizza from last night for her or to make her something else but she said she wasn't in the mood to eat and that she would eat it for lunch tomorrow.
But then I realized she was feeding it to the dogs. She seemed really happy about it too: "Oh look, they devoured it."
At this point I got really mad. I said "That wasn't nice."
She said "What? I didn't like it so I fed it to the dogs."
I said "Not cool, (roommate)."
So I didn't talk to her for a while and then she said "So are you just mad at me now?"
I said no but she knew I was lying.
So then I said "It was fine that you didn't like it, but you didn't have to be a jerk about it."
She said she wasn't a jerk and told me to take a pill and cheer up because I was making a big deal over nothing.
I feel really unappreciated and hurt and like I might cry.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
n1ckmw7Y3xSgGA1dd124OCS7vxQEQnx9
|
aed0qd
|
{
"description": "wanting to move out",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting to move out?
|
Little bit of background. My bio father passed away in 2011, but my mom and him had split before I was born. Ive lived with my Mom and Stepdad since I was four. I admit I'm not dead, so they have cared for me, and they bring that up constantly. I have hated my stepdad from day 1. He's always been abusive. Physically for a long time, but mentally for the past few years. We fight constantly. He has to have complete control over my every move. Also he's very homophobic (I'm gay) and loves to use every slur. He refuses to let me go anywhere or do anything. I'm allowed to go to school and work and home. Nothing else. Im also 17 and still dont have my drivers permit. I have everything, and took the online course, he just won't let me get it. My only reason for asking is my mom. I let her know im leaving as soon as I turn 18. But she begs for me to stay. Ik she loves me, but she refuses to leave him. And she follows along with everything he does. AITA For leaving my mom, to escape an awful life?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1qk6bxzhvI9RjnvOix7hWI4idWAINeHq
|
b3cunz
|
{
"description": "flying across the country to steal my own dog back from my ex boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 28
}
|
AITA for flying across the country to steal my own dog back from my ex boyfriend?
|
Hi everyone- throwaway for reasons.
My ex boyfriend and I have had joint custody over our dog for 2 years now here in California. I legally own her on paper , and have paid for all of her vaccinations. We did break up last year, but since we still lived so close to each other I figured why not let him keep seeing the dog since they love each other so much. We then bought our own food/toys and would take turns having her every 2 weeks or so. This has went on for a year.
I ended up moving to New York City, and we had a verbal agreement that she would move here with me once I was settled in and discuss an arrangement later on how we would split the time with both of us and the dog.
Once I was settled in and ready to have her flown over here he told me she would not be coming to NYC. He wasnt willing to compromise with me at all, and I felt he trapped me. All because the dogs quality of life would be better in California because she has a backyard, another dog companion, beach, etc there and she would be unhappy in a “ concrete jungle “ in NYC.
After countless arguments on why my dog would be absolutely fine in NYC, my only option was to give-in to him. All my friends said he was manipulating me and just trying to control me and I realized after they were right. So I decided to fly to California and take her without him knowing. He did hand her to me
but only knowing I was just visiting her and would give her back.
When I got to the airport I sent him an email. He called me 5 times and I never answered them. Haven’t heard from him since and it’s been 5 days. I feel horrible and heartbroken that I split them apart but I feel I was left with no choice because at the end of the day she’s still legally MY dog.. I’m sure he’s plotting to take me to court now.
Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 24,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 28
}
|
WRONG
|
rl8UT6nnHh7edhpFraYqy4HYooaivBNz
|
b6qd5i
|
{
"description": "refusing to pay a collection agency debt for damages to my old apartment caused by my roommates pets",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for refusing to pay a collection agency debt for damages to my old apartment caused by my roommates pets?
|
So a little more than a year ago i moved into an apartment with some friends of mine under the impression that anyone of us that owned pets would take care of pet deposits and such. All 4 of us signed the lease (two roommates in particular owning pets, I did not own any), and we moved in.
​
Maybe a couple weeks into living there, the discussion of the pet deposit came up and it turned out to be very expensive, and so none of the roommates that owned the pets paid their deposits. Over the course of about a year, the animals gradually destroyed the apartment, the carpet was chewed up, the window blinds were ruined, etc. When we all moved out about a month and a half ago, the two roommates owning pets allegedly cleaned the apartment and took care of the damages the pets caused.
​
Yesterday, we all received letters from a collection agency stating that we owe over $2000 USD in damages. Now, the roommates owning pets are talking about disputing the debt, but since i was on the lease, im worried that i might be locked into paying part of the debt. WIBTA if i refused to pay part of the debt since i didnt own any pets?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
U7IzLoawg69RJS6vBFeqdp4NtcuuVXlN
|
arqjxn
|
{
"description": "keeping my kids away from my mom",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Keeping my Kids Away From My Mom
|
i'm horrible at english so Bare with me.
sorry this may be long and somewhat all over the place, this just happened last night and i'm still upset. TL:DR at the bottom.
​
​
My Grandparents and Parents are Portuguese. they came from Portugal to Canada to give my brother and i a better life.
we have lived with my Grandparents since i was 4.
​
​
growing up as a kid was usually different from how my friends always told me how their family's did things, but i always knew my household as normal, my mom is a narcissist, i of course as a kid had no idea what that was, i am now 30 and have come to realize how she is.
​
when we were younger she used to go mental, if my brother wanted to go out somewhere and she didn't want him to go, he would nag her and push her buttons and she would just lose it, she would kick and scream like a child pull her hair and lock herself in the bathroom screaming, she would scare the fucking shit out of me and my brother, i was a lot younger so i only remember some of the traumatic events.
my dad would end up yelling at us, telling us to leave her alone let her cool down and go to our rooms, they were never physical with us, but this happened many many times, where she would just go insane and make us feel terrible. we had a few times where she took it too far and would down a bottle of pills, and had to go to the hospital to pump her stomach. i was always told growing up from my parents that is just how Portuguese people deal with things and we do things differently from other family's
​
this probably happened up until i was around 18. at that point she kind of calmed down, me and my brother had more freedom and we have moved out of her house. since this time we have kept in pretty good contact with her, things were decent. she kept up her narcissist ways and me and my brother would brush it off and go back with our lives like nothing ever happened. that seems to be how most of our fights went. she would have a problem, yell at us, get mad at us if we talked back to her, she would never apologize and would blame us even if it was clearly her fault. my wife started to have enough of her shit and slowly started to drift away from seeing her as often. that also started a shit ton of fights because my mother hated that my wife didn't put up with her shit.
​
now me and my brother are in our 30's we both Have Children. My brother has a son who is 3 with his girlfriend, and i have 2 sons with my wife, one of them is 3 and the other is 9 months old. My mom has been going through a few things in her life, My Grandpa (her Dad) passed away about a year and a half ago from cancer, he was diagnosed with a year and when we found out my wife, kids, and i were there all the time. he died 8 months after his diagnosis, it was a sad day and the family mourned. but my mom changed that day, she has gone back to her shitty sour moods and her instant blaming of everything else is everyone else's fault and never her, she was the victim, her dad died and that she was the only one cared. she started to push her family away.
​
\-Within the time from my grandpa passing away and up until now i have been keeping track of how shitty she has been to us, i could probably go on for hours but i'll just give some examples.
​
\-she will talk shit about my brother and his girlfriend to my wife and i
​
\-hates the way me and my brother raise our children, and will go behind our backs to do whatever she wants even if we said no and say it's grandmas right to do what she wants.
​
\-will compare our children and act like its a competition on who is learning things faster
​
\-pits me and my brother against each other so we start figthing
​
\-my mom has tried to go on disability once my grandpa passed away and hasn't got paid since, my dad has an out of town job and he is never home, she has started to say that i dont come over as often because she doesn't have money anymore and that i used to come over more before to use her for her money. i tell her many times to stop spending money on my kids because she constantly complains how expensive things were and how she has no money and she can't keep affording and somehow make it seem like its my fault she's spending money on my kids.....
​
\-acts like she knows what goes on in our homes while she's not around and make up insane stories
​
\-thinks everyone is against her and is using her.
​
so all that comes down to this, My brother went to drop off his kid last night, he has made plans to go to a party, he ended up not feeling well and text her to say that he isn't going to the party anymore and that if she still wants to be with her grandson for the sleepover, as he can stay in with him as well no bother either way, but she turned it around where she was doing him a favor and now he still needs to bring him because she cancelled all her plans to do this for him. now leading up to this point my nephew has been having an issue with sleeping, my brother has had a pretty strict bedtime going on with him for 8pm out in his bed. we had been visiting one day when my nephew was there and my mother was watching him, 9pm rolls around and my dad points at his watch and tells my mother that he thinks its time to put him to bed, she scoffed and ignored him. we ended up leaving around 10 and he was still up. my brother the next day ended up asking me what time he went to bed knowing i was there. i told him the truth and he didn't say a word to my mother for a bit.(i have been slowly opening my brother eyes to my moms narcissist ways and he has been starting to realize). so this night he went there hoping to get an apology from her. he told her he knew that she put him to bed late and explained why it was important for him to sleep on his scheduled time and she just side stepped, and blamed my wife, my dad and i. she told him that we were the ones who told her to keep him up later that he is having fun, full well trying to escape from saying sorry by telling another lie. and my brother was done with it(i was not there for this) he told me he yelled and screamed and he had enough of how she is. she managed to say sorry and reverse it and make it somehow his fault and try and make him apologize. they fought for a big and she ended up going mental again she ran upstairs screaming kicking pulling her hair and sat in her bed, my brother waited a few minutes and went up stairs, she was sitting there with an empty bottle and a handful of pills in her hand and as soon as he walked in she started to try and shove it in her mouth, my brother ran to her and smacked her hand and pills flew everywhere, she screamed and yelled and told him to go away. My brother called me and told me to come over that my mother just attempted suicide.
​
I tell my wife everything, so she knows what my mother just did, she offered to drive me over there and take my our nephew back with her to keep him away from the shit storm that was about to go down. i showed up there and it was just an instant fight about how she has been treating us, we tried to show her how she has been, trying to make her realize how terrible she has been to us lately and that we have been patient with her bullshit, we told her at this point forward with how she attempted suicide and went mental that we could not bring our children over there for a while, especially after my wife knowing what happened she will also tell my brothers girlfriend regardless and we wont have a say. we told her what she did wasn't right and that we need to go to family counseling before we could let her see our children again.
she freaked out saying that it was my brother fault for pushing her over the edge and forcing her to fake an attempt at suicide to make him leave, i told her that she was trying to manipulate my brother and she will cause serious emotional abuse doing something like that, she smirked and laughed said it doesn't matter anyway nobody loves her, and that we just came there to attack her, she said she was sorry and that her door is always open when we are ready to come back
​
so am i the asshole from keeping my kids away from my mom?
​
​
​
​
TL:DR my mom is nuts, attempted suicide, blames her children for her attempt, and refuses to see that what she did is wrong. i told her we are not coming back until she agrees to family counseling.
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
V8joHNJM1R57F493lZF0eiO21t1L5qoJ
|
9vf4b5
|
{
"description": "taking my tip back from a delivery driver",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
AITA For taking my tip back from a delivery driver?
|
I ordered pizza and since I was going to be paying with cash, I was going to give the driver a 20 dollar bill and let him keep the change as a tip (~13%). When I ordered the pizza, it was raining, so I decided I wouldn't take part of the tip off if he was a bit late, as I normally take a dollar off for every 5 minutes past the estimated time. After about 20 minutes, the rain stopped, and the driver finally arrived after about 45 minutes. I thanked him for the pizza, and handed him the $20 and said he could keep the change. He looked at the bill and said "Just 2 bucks? I had to drive in the rain for an hour". I was pretty upset that he would say this, so I told him to give me the 2 dollars back as change, and I would get him a $5 bill. He hands me the 2 dollars and I close the door on him. Obviously I don't return with a larger tip and he leaves after a minute or two at the door.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 23,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 23
}
|
WRONG
|
3S1dW75sMDHODaoyeqR0JX1UFxeewuqG
|
b5plci
|
{
"description": "talking about marriage",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for talking about marriage
|
Okay here it goes, me (female) and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years. We are both in our late twenties. I drunkenly said I want to marry him one night and he seemed super annoyed with me the next day. I told our roommate about it and he acted like I said the worst thing ever. Am I the asshole for talking about marriage? I’ve never been pushy about it and haven’t talked about it except for that night but it’s made me think about it and why I can’t talk about it without everyone freaking out. So am I an asshole for bringing up marriage with my boyfriend?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
EXkbID0mG2hPipVdihViyr1ggP2rq82h
|
asdnq6
|
{
"description": "not giving money to a \"Homeless Person\"",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not giving money to a "Homeless Person"
|
This took place last night. For starters I live in a small city where there is a larger homeless population than avg. Me and my girlfriend were out getting ice cream after we finished our late night classes was around 9 pm. We were sitting at a table inside the restaurant and this "Homeless Man", going to call him HM, came up to us and asked me for some money.
I am use to Homeless people asking for money especially around where I live and normally I don't have a problem giving what ever change that I have or buy them something that they need. But this HM did not seem like a homeless person. What I mean is that his hair looked like it was well kept what he was wearing looked cleaner and nicer than what I was wearing, so he did not really seem to much like a homeless person. Normally the people that do ask for change from me look like they actually do need it so I was put off by this guy. A conversation followed:
HM: "Yo man I ain't got no where to live can you spare some change"
Me: "I'm sorry not today"
HM: "I know you got some money brother, you should spare me some"
Me: I kinda replied with "No" without looking at him
HM: "Come on man just give me some money"
Me "Not. Today. "
HM:"Oh I see it's because I'm black ain't it"
Me and my girlfriend are both Caucasian and the HM is prob around the same age I am (early 20s) and African American
Me: "No sir"
HM: "So why wont you give me money"
Me: I was somewhat mad at this point so I did have a snappy tone "I said No . So Just leave me alone now I want to enjoy me Ice cream"
HM: "Man fuck y'all racist mofos. this is why I hate white people, no not white, fucking Crackers. yall see a fucking black man and wont even help him "
He went to leave the store but knocked the entire thing of Straws all over the floor. Few mins pass and a worker around my and HM same age came out to clean up the straws. Was also the same worker the we ordered from.
Me: "I'm sorry about that."
Worker:"Maybe if you wern't such fucking assholes to him and have him some of that money I saw you had I wouldn't have to spend my time cleaning this shit up. I you actually cared you would be cleaning this shit up. "
Me: "I'm sorry miss"
For reference I have prob 7 dollars in ones total in a new wallet I got for V Day, and if you don't know anything about new wallets its hard to stuff bills into a new wallet so a good bit was sticking out making it seem more then it really is.
After that Me and the girlfriend just got up and left without saying another word to the worker.
Now I don't want to assume anything but if I were to guess the Worker and the "HM" somehow knew each other, but I don't want to create and false situations in my head.
tl:dr : I didn't give some money to a "homeless" man so someone called me an asshole
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
p84GebKcNE6lu9kodmPGNu81kPva1JRA
|
b9dkvi
|
{
"description": "wanting my housemate's girlfriend to leave – even though he's only just come back from abroad",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my housemate’s girlfriend to leave – even though he’s only just come back from abroad?
|
Basically – I (f24) live with 1 guy and 2 girls, we’re all in our early-mid 20s. My guy housemate has been studying abroad for 3 months and has recently returned home. His girlfriend has been staying with us for two weeks, 1 week before he got back and I don’t think she plans on leaving any time soon.
I’ve known both of them for 7 years, and I lived with both of them last year, before the girlfriend moved out of town to get her PHD. When my housemate left he gave his girlfriend his keys to our flat without consulting us.
My relationship with his girlfriend is not great. She was pretty shitty to me for a few months. It got to the point where one of the girls we live with, who has also been friends with them for a long time, had to have a conversation asking why she was being so mean.
While my housemate was away his girlfriend would come and stay at our flat without giving much notice, often expecting us to drop our plans to host her.
This is where I think it gets a bit complicated. My housemate continued to pay rent while he was abroad – so I do think that she had a right to use his room while he was away – and now he’s back obviously he can have whoever he wants over. But we subsidise his rent because he has a very large room and we have no lounge. In return we use half his room as communal space.
Ever since he got back from abroad, I feel like a guest in my own house. Suddenly if we left anything in the communal part of his room it would be moved into the hall or the kitchen – shoved into drawers with no conversation or explanation. I feel that it is very unlikely that it is my housemate doing this. His girlfriend however is a control freak.
She also passive aggressively cleans our kitchen – commenting on how dirty and untidy my two other housemates are to me, blaming the one housemate we didn’t go to school with for attracting mice even though it was definitely not her fault. Moving my appliances from where I like to keep them, like my rice cooker for no apparent reason.
Last night they used my rice cooker without really asking me and broke it. When I went into the kitchen they were just like “your rice cooker is broken” and were really techy about elaborating. I asked them to try and fix it and when they couldn’t I bought myself a new one and asked my housemate to pay me back. I don’t care about them using it, or even breaking it. Just the complete lack of respect – no apology or anything.
We never set proper boundaries or had a conversation with our housemate about this so perhaps it’s not surprising that they think it’s ok since we’ve been friends for so long and have lived together in the past.
I also feel like I could be the asshole because to be fair they haven’t seen each other in 3 months so it’s normal that they’d want to spend time together.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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CcAiYewbOFgBwG1qPfvKhJ4L4UolSHzW
|
a8uv63
|
{
"description": "using my time as TA for volunteer hours",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for using my time as TA for volunteer hours?
|
This was during Senior year of high school. I was in National Honor Society along with some other people and as a part of NHS we are required to do volunteer hours in order to get the NHS gold tassel to wear at graduation our senior year. I have one friend (whom I'll refer to as Laura) That was also in NHS. She decided to volunteer her time at a church helping set up stuff for various church activities. She thought it was the best way to volunteer. I had the forethought to sign up to be a TA my senior year of high school because my thought process was, if I can use up one class period that I could have used for something else, I'll be volunteering an hour every day to help kids out with their chemistry work. To add to that I wanted to be a high school TA, which meant I did not get paid. One benefit was that I enjoy chemistry and I love to help with it. I also got added benefits of getting to play with chemicals doing anything that I thought would be safe and fun. I didn't think it was that big of an issue to be volunteering while having fun doing chemistry.
​
This is where the conflict came in. Laura was volunteering at a Church and spending lots of time there. She thought what she was doing was more helpful and that being a TA didn't count as actually volunteering because I got to goof off. While I did get to have fun I spent a lot of my time organizing stuff in the Chem lab and helping out students with work, but I got to have fun in the additional time that I wasn't doing anything. My chemistry teacher didn't mind signing my volunteer sheet, but he's pretty lax with the rules so I don't know if I should take his word that that counts. My question is am I the asshole for wanting to volunteer my time as a chemistry TA? My friend volunteered at a church which she thought counted more. I can kind of see how but in my opinion I was still volunteering my time but I got to do it during the school day doing it for something I love and I got to goof off and enjoy myself more that any other volunteering job.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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lsq4fh0OLCz6ROfHyIFUPjHIUCuy4w3V
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aopu02
|
{
"description": "telling my best friend's boyfriend what she does behind his back",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my best friend's boyfriend what she does behind his back?
|
To preface: I've known Jess, my roommate/best friend for about 15 years. Jess and Chris have been dating for about a year and a half.
Jess went on a trip with another friend in the beginning of their relationship, got ridiculously drunk, and went down on a random girl. Chris was livid when she came back because she kissed him before she told him, and he was worried about an STD. They almost broke up, but Jesa started telling Chris that she was forced to do it and that she'd rather forget about the whole thing - she said Chris should stop rubbing her mistakes in her face. Miraculously they stayed together.
Chris moved ~8hrs away for work, and while he was gone, I overheard Jess say "yeah my boyfriend's a n*gger" to one of her friends. I told Jess that she was horrible for saying such a slur behind her boyfriend's back - but I (regrettably) didn't tell him about it at the time.
Chris came back for the holidays, they were lovey dovey, and then he moved back out for work again. This time she started relying on her ex bf to hang out with her while he was gone. I don't have anything against her ex, but I also don't think it's normal to want to spend so much time with someone you've slept with.
Anyway - fast forward to this week. At the beginning of the week, Jess came home from a party from the night before, said she got "sooo drunk" and then asked me if she should tell Chris that she cuddled with a random guy the whole night. I asked her why she didn't just use the sleeping bag she brought, she said they used it as a blanket. I said "I don't know, but given your history when you drink I don't think its a good idea to keep it from him" - Jess got extremely defensive, saying that "everyone flirts when they drink! It's not an issue, I don't do anything bad when I drink" ...
I work with Chris's sister, lets call her Beth, and occasionally Beth asks how they're still together when they're complete opposites. We got to chatting about how crazy Jess is when she drinks, and I told her she's untrustworthy. Beth (obviously) told her brother, and shortly after he asked me to call him in private.
He asked me to be completely honest about Jess, and I told him that while she has no ill intentions, she doesn't have a lot of common sense, and I told him what happened at the party. Chris is my friend too, and I'd feel horrible if I we're dishonest with him.
After chatting, he told me he didn't know how to bring it up with Jess. He said he didn't want to throw me under the bus because I'm the only one who could have told him. I said that if she gets mad at me, so be it. She shouldn't have cuddled with a stranger if she didn't want it to come back and bite her.
They got off the phone a few minutes ago, and Jess started yelling at me, saying I'm everyone's friend but hers, and that it's my fault for initially saying "I don't know" when she asked if she should tell him. She said she was going to tell him but she was waiting to do it in person.
Part of me feels really bad for breaking her trust. Maybe I shouldn't have taken matters into my own hands - but now Beth and Chris are thanking me for my honesty.
**TLDR; my friend of 15 years/roommate shared a bed and cuddled with a random guy at a party. She's done some shady things in the past, so when her boyfriend asked me to be honest with him, I called him and told him what happened. Now She's blaming me for their possible breakup, saying she was "waiting to tell him in person" - he lives 8hrs away and won't be home for a few months. AITA for telling him? I don't really believe that she had any intentions to otherwise**
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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Doh9K9z6Ho5VUrs3jaHCOWTBqwclcS2U
|
amff7c
|
{
"description": "getting mad about the recurring \"when can we get a dog?\" conversation",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting mad about the recurring "when can we get a dog?" conversation?
|
I love dogs. I would really love to have a dog. But I live in an apartment in a big city, and I'm gone a minimum of 10hrs a day, sometimes more like 14. My wife is also gone anywhere from 10-14 hours a day.
I would do a dog Walker, but my wife wouldn't put up with that expense.
Yet, somehow, when she says "cant we get a dog?" And I point out all of these roadblocks, I'm the asshole. Like, no, we can not get a dog. You know why the fuck we cannot get a dog. I would pay for a dog walker, I would get a cat, but we cannot leave a dog in this apartment all day. We wouldn't have the time to initially train a small dog to use indoor potty training stuff, and the occasional accidents would he a disaster in my wife's eyes, not mine.
And it's my wife who wants to live in the city. I'd love to be in a house in the burbs, closer to work and with a yard for a dog.
I'm not upset that we cant have a dog. I'm upset for two reasons - first, I dont like having to say "no" all the time. I really want a dog, and everytime she asks me its like a little roller coaster and part of me is like "what if!?!" But then it gets crushed by reality, and I force myself to be reasonable and say "no". Second, once I say no, she acts like I'm the reason we dont have a dog! Like, fucking hell I want a dog more than she does, I am NOT the obstacle here.
I've expressed my frustration with this recurring pattern, and she seems to understand, but if the conversation comes up around other people she'll still try to frame it as "he wont let me get a dog."
Pisses me right the fuck off. I feel very strongly that I'm not in the wrong here, but like it makes me very angry. What I'm wondering is if I'm the asshole for being so upset by this pattern. I feel confident I have some right to be upset, but I sometimes try to check myself and say I'm making too much of it.
AITA for being upset?
AITA for telling her to stop framing the conversation that way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
TYHZ0551yOGzG5whhPYpmzxanN4gW3tE
|
amadul
|
{
"description": "making up an excuse to leave a hookup in the middle of hooking up",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for making up an excuse to leave a hookup in the middle of hooking up?
|
I went on a “date” with a guy from tinder. I went to his place to Netflix and chill. It was his first time meeting up with someone from tinder and he was a little nervous. We hung out and talked for a while before we actually did anything hookup-y, and I liked him and we got along well. I was on the fence about whether or not I was attracted to him or if I just liked him in a “you’re kinda cool” kind of way. I didn’t want to decide until we kissed because that’s the easiest way for me to figure out how I feel about someone, if I’m attracted to them or not.
Eventually when we started kissing he kissed really hard and used a lot of tongue and I thought it was gross. I tried to get him to move his mouth to, erm, someplace other than my mouth but he was like a leech that wanted to suck my saliva! I didn’t want to offend him and we were only hooking up once and I know some girls like that kind of kissing, so I didn’t want to say anything about it. We kept going and things got a bit heavier but I was getting turned off by him. After a few minutes of making out (maybe 10-15?) and my shirt was off, I just wanted to stop and leave. So I pretended like I was getting a phone call and I told him that I needed to go pick my friend up because her car wouldn’t start and she needed to get to the airport. I am not a super good liar but I tried to make it convincing because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. But, I think he suspected that I was being a bit sketchy and he started questioning me about my fiend, asking me what time her flight was and where she was going and how far away did she live and stuff like that. Again, I didn’t want to tell him that I felt like I just wanted to get out of there because I really wasn’t attracted to him, so I just pretended like I was in a big frantic hurry and made up answers to his questions while I put my shirt back on and then left really quick. On my way out he said “We should hang out again, hopefully another friend won’t need a ride next time.” And I agreed because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
Since then he texted me twice and I just ignored him but he got the message and he hasn’t tried to get in touch with me recently.
So, am I the asshole for lying about why I needed to leave instead of just telling him that I wasn’t attracted to him and hurting his feelings? Am I the asshole for other reasons? Is no one an asshole? Are we both assholes? Is he the asshole? I’m so confused. What is the etiquette in these situations? Would it change if we were both girls or both guys?
P.S. I wanted to clarify that I didn’t feel threatened by him at all.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
zMsQhkcIOqRu0rWXXMo14C0b6WWCtMP9
|
aaraet
|
{
"description": "tripping a classmate",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for tripping a classmate?
|
Hey guys!
TLDR: I tripped a guy in my grade that I strongly dislike after he pushed someone else and thought no one would do anything.
First off, this all happened about three months ago. There’s this kid in my grade who can really frustrate me. He’s not always annoying, but he is more than he isn’t. He has a very high ego, and he makes his feelings very clear by complaining to teachers about ‘boring/easy material’ or will call people ‘dumb/idiotic’ when they don’t agree with him. He refuses to acknowledge that someone else might have a more informed perspective than his on any topic. He acts quite entitled and will argue over things that are really straightforward if he thinks he can. He seems to believe that he can do whatever he wants, and his sophomore classmates are holding him back from achieving his true potential.
On the other hand, there are times where he can be tolerable. We both do an extracurricular together in a small group and he tends to act normally then. We actually dated two years ago (middle school was a weird time) and at the time he still generally acted like a decent person. Because of this, I know that he can be a really genuine and caring person, but he does a lot to cover this up, and he is also very picky about who he is genuine to. He still had moments where he was not great, but these didn’t happen often. The following school year (we had broken up) he started to struggle socially and lost a lot, if not all, of his close friends.
I do feel bad because it must suck to not have someone you are close to in school. But at the same time, he lost his friends because he began to act worse and worse to people around him.
Quick examples that bothered me:
- Telling our gym softball team that we should have a ‘good-bad rotation’ for who bats, then labeling all the guys as good and girls as bad. there were some girls who were clearly capable of performing to the standards of ‘good’. this really frustrated me.
- Using a ‘kahoot hacker’ to spam our class kahoot with bots and make it unplayable.
- Seriously saying I was ‘just an idiot’ for asking about the rules of handball (in front of our whole gym class)
- Arguing with our math teacher about getting a better grade until she cried
- Helping the other team score points while playing a basketball warmup, by throwing them the ball and yelling “OOPS!!!!”. the coach asked him to stop and he told her “sorry I just have terrible aim”. he plays basketball on a competitive team.
- Making it very clear that he is better than the rest of us at basketball by saying we are shit or babies ect.
I’ll call him PT.
Those were a few! Anyways. As I said above, he plays basketball competitively so he is quite good at it. We were playing a 3v3 game one day, and I was playing with two tall guys on my team. We were against PT’s team. I was shorter than my teammates, so I was defending the shortest player on the other team, which was not PT.
PT was bothering me the entire game, making small comments and being a douche. Of the six people that were playing, only two of them play basketball on a team. The rest of us know the rules but it’s just a general understanding. PT liked to accentuate this fact by yelling out “FOUL!” every other second. I would have let this be; however he only addressed it at our team. Anytime their team did something obviously wrong he would shrug and say “ref didn’t see it”....... There was no ref.
As one of my teammates is dribbling the ball up the side of the court, PT saunters over and pushes him with both hands. It wasn’t strong enough to make the guy fall over, but he dropped the ball as he caught himself. PT now had the ball. Having seen the whole thing and being very frustrated with everything he does, I yelled “FOUL!” to see if he would do anything. He stopped, asked me “what are you gonna do about it?” And then continued moving.
What did I do? I did something about it! Being a 5’5 unskilled at basketball girl, and him being a 6 foot something basketball playing male, I didn’t have many options. So as he dribbled past me, I simply stuck out my foot and tripped him. He fell, and completely sprawled onto the floor. The perfect, ideal trip. The one you see in movies. I was completely satisfied with what I had done. It created a loud noise and people stopped to look. Some laughed. He just stayed there for a solid ten seconds. He got up and stopped talking after that.
A week or so later, I found out his grandma had died some days I had tripped him. I didn’t realize that this had happened and I started to feel really bad. Maybe he had been acting out because he was mourning? It also wasn’t exactly my place to do anything to him at the time. He hadn’t pushed me, so I’m not sure I had the right to trip him. Him pushing this guy was only a two second thing but tripping him may have been to extreme.
Tell me:
Am I a petty asshole for acting out like that?
Thanks :)
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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|
WRONG
|
h2CqXZosxPwf30kRN1QIPGKod3VLx9ai
|
acmxrg
|
{
"description": "not wanting to live with a good friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not wanting to live with a good friend
|
So, I am currently in college right now and am currently living with 4 of my close friends. While I am friends with all of them, the relationships they have with each other is extremely toxic. Our lease is ending in august and all of use do not want to live here again for another year, however since my roommates relationships are so toxic we were planning to all split off and find different living spaces. A 2 of my other roommates and I decided that we still wanted to live together, and since one of them hates my other roommates, lets call him Tim, they absolutely do not want to room with him next year.
I am still good friends with Tim, however once he heard of our plan he completely stopped talking to me. We haven't said a word to each other for a couple of days. I know he probably feels betrayed, by me especially, and I do feel guilty for leaving him out, but I really need to go with the living option that is most affordable. If it were just him and I it would be much more expensive and plus he has a lot of annoying habits that really make it hard to live with him sometimes.
Still, I am not sure if I made the right call, I really do feel bad for leaving him out like that but I really don't think I could handle living with him by myself.
Thank you for your judgement
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
wdd3gmsbat5XIyxntvupKiqrlzZg6hiq
|
a6x2l4
|
{
"description": "not liking a girls laugh",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA Not liking a girls laugh?
|
So not a both sides story. Just pondering if ITA for instantly losing my attraction to a girl because of her laugh?
So I work as a guard in the lobby of social services. I talk on occasion with people that come through. Near end of the day sometime last week, one girl comes through. We start talking music festivals and other stuff. I enjoyed her company and thought she was cute. I don't flirt on the job (ok, ok haven't at this post nor most of the time) nor did I with her. But then I got her laughing and it sounded like teenage Mordred from the Excalibur film. I still smiled and chatted with her but was instantly not interested. Now it wasn't like I was an arse to her directly. But is it weird / wrong to lose attraction for something as uncontrollable as a laugh? I mean, people say I sound like a chuffing monkey.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
dXc0m6S9M7NWgbZeGkQKwBNo5G6k1EEG
|
anjr95
|
{
"description": "staying out extra late on purpose to avoid my bf",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for staying out extra late on purpose to avoid my bf?
|
The title alone makes me sound like an asshole but here I go anyway;
Some prior knowledge to the situation:
My bf have been dating for roughly 1 1/2 years and have known each other for 4 total (all long distance), but have met before. When we first started dating, I had recently moved and lost contact with my friends so I was pretty lonely. Since I didn't have any friends, my schedule was pretty open ended so we spent a majority of our time Skyping and talking. We are generally able to talk out our issues.
Fast forward to now. I'm in college and I have a great friend group. My schedule is now full of classes, work, and friends. Doesn't sound like a lot but it's pretty time consuming. After this move he has had a really hard time adjusting to my busier schedule and has become increasingly clingy. This behavior has pushed me away because besides being clingy he has started to be controlling in minor ways; check-in texts (where he sometimes spams if I don't respond), gets mad when I come home later than 10:30pm (given I get out of classes around 6 most days), acts upset overcall but won't tell me why or even hints, wanting me to conform more to his schedule (despite time difference), etc. I've tried talking to him about it. In out conversation he seems to understand but is reluctant about it and continues the behavior a few days later. This kind of makes me feel like shit and I've been pushing away and staying out later and later some nights to not deal with the mention I feel talking.
For more insite the most recent incident which truly lead me to question our relationship is when I broke my jaw two days before Christmas break started. I had just come home around 11:30pm and called him on Skype. He was upset and so I talked with him and we moved on (luckily we're both good at bouncing back our moods for the most part). Eventually we go to sleep; we keep the Skype call running on our phones and essentially sleep together. I wasn't tired and wanted to spend time with my friends before break started and we all split. So I left my phone on my bed (call still running) and went out boarding with my friends intending to return later and sleep. It was all going well until I took a hill too steep for me and ate shit direction on to my chin breaking my jaw. Of course i had to go to the hospital around 2am and since I had left my phone on my bed, I couldn't contact him. I ended up needing surgery to wire my jaw shut which would happen the next day. In the early morning my friends were able to bring me my stuff (phone, clothes, etc.) And at this point I still haven't gone through surgery so my face was still all fucked, and it was kinda difficult to talk. I call my bf on Skype around 11:00am.
This is a paraphrasing of the conversation that insued (two of my friend we're in the room with me able to hear both sides):
Me:"Hey hun.."
Him:"Hey why didn't you answer this morning?"
Me:"I'm in the hospital"
Him:"Oh my God why?"
Me:"I broke my jaw last night"
Him:"How? Wtf? Where were you"
Me:"I was out skating with friends, I'm safe though"
Him:"I..I'm so mad. I'm so angry wtf. Why were you with them?! I thought we were sleeping!"
Me:"I wasn't tired.. I'm sorry"
Him:"I'm so fucking angry right now."
Me:"I'm sorry"
Rince and repeat those last two lines for about 10 minutes until my friends leave the room for a smoke break. We get into an argument and then I start to cry and just hang up and refused to message him because he just keep yelling and arguing. I got very overwhelmed and angry. My friends came back in a told me that "I shouldn't ever let someone speak to me like that." He didn't once ask me if I was ok or even seemed to care except for the fact that I had a snuck out without him knowing at first which really poured some lemon juice on to my cuts. He kind of apologized later but it felt more defensive than genuine. We've since "moved on" from that situation but I can't really say I have. I really hurts to think about and he still continues to be this this way sometimes and I don't know what to do.
TL;DR I feel like I'm stuck chosing between my long distance boyfriend, my friends, and my own personal time. I've explained this and we've talked about it but he hasn't really done anything on his side to work towards the improvement of our relationship. I've been pushing away and staying out later since then.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
YQEEvLmATVGaUj2m3P9T93X0vSCbxEgo
|
9taz73
|
{
"description": "having a trump supporter fired",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for having a trump supporter fired?
|
So this story is a bit long, but I'll cut a few points out. So a few weeks ago a new guy was hired. He was quiet, but was nice and respectful at the time. So at the work Halloween party, we had a drink or so. And he got a bit drunk and brought up politics to me, knowing that I fully hate trump and his party. He told me how much he hates dems and liberals. I felt very harrassed by his actions, so I reported him to HR, which is a personal friend and he was fired this morning. I ended up getting a bit too emotional about this guy, and told HR that he tried to touch me and made sexual comments towards me. People in the office are praising me for coming out about sexual harrassment. and his friends look at me like im a a monster. And they told me that they're going to complain to HR about me.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
bxgsCExGk7ggCk0WSkdT124R51iSRGRD
|
atm85j
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go on vacation at my partner's workplace",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go on vacation at my partner's workplace?
|
I live in a resort town with my forever- partner, let's call them Ted. There are several resort locations within our area. There's quite literally something for everyone. None are quite as *upscale* and highly rated as THE resort.
Ted works front desk at THE all-inclusive resort. It's flashy, instagrammable, and Ted gets a generous discount on the whole package. Ted and I have been to this resort before, when he first started working there, and although we had a great time, I wasn't impressed.
The day we requested full housekeeping, and specifically asked for a vacuum, they didnt vaccum, and left visable dust and gravel on our floors. The housekeepers left a open water bottle in our welcome basket. Their assumingly high dining standards, the $40 salmon plate was ...mediocre at best. The other food options weren't better. One night we ordered a certain game-themed pizza chain instead of eating the onsite food.
I took it all in stride, and of course, told Ted I had a wonderful time, but next vacation I might want us to check out something new. My birthday rolls around, and Ted wants to take me on a getaway. He suggests the resort he works at. I eventually say "yeah we can do it one more time."
So Ted books the vacation. He wants to try a spa day, a chef's dinner. I love Ted, and it was all my birthday gift, so I don't want to say anything, but I didn't have a good time at all. The spa day was amazing, but the chef's dinner turned into a $100/hour, 3 hour torture session, where the food was... lackluster, and pairings were nauseating. I realize how hoity-toity that sounds, but I have an IRON stomach, and I had it mild compared to Ted. Ted had to go splash his face halfway through dinner. It was bad.
The other.... odd thing about the vacation was that it was TED'S WORKPLACE. And Ted was non-chalant about it, but it really started to bother me. His supervisor checked us in. Ted continually called/stopped by the front desk for seemingly endless possibilities. Our spa day, he asked them to *tuck his jacket behind the counter*, despite the spa actually having lockers *for this purpose*. Everyone knew us. Someone saw us kissing and jokingly called across the lobby for us to get a room. It didn't feel like a "just us" time, alone, at a destination. It felt like "Ted shows off" or "Ted hangs with friends". It felt like that both times. And I don't want to return.
HOWEVER upon our return, hell even during our stay, Ted has expressed his desire to do it again, for his birthday.
WIBTA if I refused to do this again? I LOVE to travel and go new places. I just don't want to revisit this place a THIRD time.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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DSqq5ERuzELJuEbfSz2KtzhsKSO17VGg
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adp288
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{
"description": "not giving money to a kid that came up to my car bagging me while I was in the middle of ordering food at a drive through",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving money to a kid that came up to my car bagging me while I was in the middle of ordering food at a drive through?
|
Basically I (19/F) got off of work early and was trying to kill time before I had to go pick up my mom from her exercise class. I went to go get coffee from Tim Horton’s drive through and I was in the middle of ordering when I noticed someone as walking towards my car. I quickly rolled up my window and locked my car door (still in the middle of ordering) when this guy (mid/late teens) knocks on my window.
Now I’m kinda scared because the drive through area is off a busy street but it’s hidden by bushes so it’s kinda dark and really no one could really see me.
Anyways I roll down my wind a crack to see what he wants and he starts asking me for a dollar or even 50cents. I told him I didn’t have anything one me and he kept on asking for anything and I kept saying no. I knew that I had at least $5 of singles in my bag but honestly I was really freaked out.
As soon as he left I was able to finish my order and get my stuff without a problem. ( I was still creeped out and wanted to go home really badly)
Am I the asshole for lying and not giving this guy money?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
AjjwTMBVqj8Agy9CZaYX5ZuKAH2Z857E
|
avqd6y
|
{
"description": "serectly testing a girl that I was seeing",
"pronormative_score": 48,
"contranormative_score": 80
}
|
AITA For serectly testing a girl that i was seeing.
|
I was seeing this girl that had a history of running her mouth. She even told me about all her ex boyfriend's fetishes (like being into feet and other dudes etc) and that he was jealous that the two of us were hanging out. This worried me, and I told her that I wouldn't be comfortable with her airing out my dirty laundry under any circumstance, and specifically asked her to never do that. She obliged, but I still wasn't sure if I could trust her. So I made up a social test.
I lied and told her I was into furries (I'm not though there's nothing wrong with people that are you do you) and I asked a friend of here's if she could help me test her by asking what my fetish is. She agreed, then went on to ask her when I wasn't around. I got a call back from her saying that the girl that I was seeing said I might be into furry creatures and stuff, and that she basically told her right away. So she failed.
I did end up telling her that it was a test, but then she got furious with me. She thought it was unbelievable that I could betray her trust like that. She still wanted to see me but I needed a break. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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"WRONG": 80
}
|
WRONG
|
TuYMBc2N8KmoJ4eY8l6opQ2cjnI31O6x
|
as2rfn
|
{
"description": "wanting to move away so I can marry soulmate and not staying to babysit my brother's kids",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For wanting to move away so I can marry soulmate and not staying to babysit my brother's kids?
|
Basically, I'm a woman in love with a woman, and we would like to get married. In the country we live in now, we can't. So, we're moving to somewhere where it's legal to marry.
My brother is against this. I think it's partly due to his own homophobia that he does his best to supress/hide for my sake, but his main excuse is his kids will miss me. I pointed out that some visits will still be possible, I'll call, ect.
He then complained that, due to this, he and his wife won't be able to have their date nights every week or so, because I won't be here to babysit their kids for free. And he won't pay a babysitter he can easily afford because he doesn't think they will love the kids and they only want money.
Am I being selfish and putting my partner before my family, or is he the asshole for wanting me to stay for his kids' sake?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
jWDZ4EJp4wRB1G0FXCEFPu0bpHnGpDbS
|
9ttwhh
|
{
"description": "asking a Mcdonalds employee to remake my drink after they accidentally handed it to the car in front of me in the drive-through",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA Asking a Mcdonalds employee to remake my drink after they accidentally handed it to the car in front of me in the drive-through?
|
Idk I feel a bit shitty about this one because I've never done it before, but I'd prefer to get an opinion on this to alleviate my guilt or confirm that I'm the asshole I think I am.
So the guy accidentally gave my meal and drink to the car in front of me, believing that my order was for them. An honest mistake, all good in this hood.
I could deal with the food being handed back to me - I think it would be pretty obvious if someone had taken a bite out of my burger or something before noticing the error, so no issue there. I do take issue with someone else getting my drink by mistake and then having that same drink handed back to me. Again, I'm not sure if this a totally unreasonable thing because I've never had this situation happen to me before.
After confirming with the guy that the dribk was the same one he just handed to the car in front, I asked REALLY nicely if the guy could remake the drink. I didn't give him a reason but I kind of figured that the reason would be implied? I mean how could I possibly tell if the guy who had previously gotten my drink had taken a massive dirty swig of my otherwise pristine beverage? Fuck, I cannot begin to explain the quandry that I was in there.
The Mcdonalds employee gave me a pretty dirty look and made me a fresh drink. He gave me the fresh drink, I said thanks and drove off. The dirty look, coupled with a generally angsty vibe I got from the guy am making me reconsider my life choices at this stage tbh:/ . I've worked in food service before and definitely know that customers who don't just take the food and fuck off can be a pain in the ass; I just thought I had a solid argument to ask for a new drink?
TL;DR: Mcdonalds employee gave a drink I ordered to the car in front of me in a drive-through and proceeded to dish out some angsty vibes when I asked for a new drink.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 35,
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
hGI3GW0nYtlnJJ9vMyWqMGIGLTOkvuAU
|
awk7ag
|
{
"description": "getting upset at my gf for saying the n-word",
"pronormative_score": 43,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting upset at my gf for saying the n-word?
|
TDLR at bottom
So some context, me (white), my gf (white), and some friends (all white but one african) were watching tv; when my gf receives a text from her dorm mate that the entire floor smelled like weed and that police were looking around. Now, earlier that very day my gf had already been ticketed for having weed on campus after someone snitched on her. So she was upset, she started ranting and then after a few moments she said "the moment i smell weed on my floor, im ratting those [n-words] out."
The entire room just went completely silent in shock. One of my very good friends, a Nigerian, tapped my shoulder to make sure i heard it. Then he confronted her about it in a sort-of-joking way that seemed like he was just giving her a hard time. She was obviously very uncomfortable afterwards, and apologized immediately.
Once we were alone, however, I leaned into her pretty hard about what she said and how she should be more careful about what she says and how it can be interpreted by other people. Well, she started crying and yelling saying that I am a control freak for trying to monitor her language, and that was the end of that night. The next morning she called me and was talking like nothing had happened...
TDLR : gf said n-word around my friends, I yelled at her, she cried and called me a control freak.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 41,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
3sdd1PcsqrfLJdzJ4ZhTvjm6iCyV10mY
|
b40dev
|
{
"description": "'letting' a blind man face plant a huge concrete column",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for 'letting' a blind man face plant a huge concrete column
|
So I was walking around my town centre with my boyfriend, I see a blind man waving his stick side to side, I'm watching him idk why but I see his stick isn't going to touch this huge fuck off column right in front of him cause he's swinging it too much to one side.
I go: 'ah shit he's going to walk into that column' to my boyfriend
And literally 5 seconds after you hear a huge thump and the man has absolutely face planted this column, sounds really sore. Moans a bit in pain
Me and my boyfriend gasp but some people had already rushed over to help him.
I come home and tell my mum, and she starts calling me an ass that I didn't tell the man he was about to walk into the column.
Me and my boyfriend were way too far away to let him know but she said we should have shouted to him telling him.
I feel like a right cunt but I also feel like I couldn't have done anything about it, so please, judge me
(Also the man was fine just sore)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
sVI4m3ex2Io4WS1JM190iIQxY93rFLgQ
|
b5bzla
|
{
"description": "expecting a date or an apology",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for expecting a date or an apology?
|
My(34f) husband (37M) said he was going to take me on an incredible date to Chicago were we would stay over and see a show, a play and have a good meal. This was supposed to be my birthday gift.
The main show cancelled and so the date was cancelled. I thought he might get me flowers or take me to see a movie but nothing happened.
A month later we were sitting at the kitchen table and I told him that I was bothered that he made this big sweet promise and then didn't do anything at all for my birthday.
Right then and there he bought tickets to a different show on a weekday that I can't go to. So now we're having to give those tickets away.
I honestly didn't want a gift I had to ask for anyway.
We had a fight about it last night.
Now we're in this catch22 that sucks really bad. If he tries to make up for not keeping his word, it's because I asked him to do it which doesn't (in my book) count for as much. I was raised that having to asking for apologies, good deeds, and affection takes away from their meaning. OR, if he does nothing he's kind of not admitting that he fucked up.
From my perspective I just feel like shit about the whole thing. I don't want my husband to think it's okay to promise me things and not follow through, I feel taken for granted because I had to basically ask for an apology. Last night he did apologize. It still stings pretty bad that he hasn't actually DONE anything to show me he loves me and messed this one up.
I told him I'm just going to forget the whole thing happened and not equate his lack of gift or apology with him not caring for me because I know we both just want to move on and not be upset about this anymore.
AITA for trying to make him see that what he didn't do is the problem or what?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
oBWhnEvtkNHVftA4JnwzvyWgFQtm35Tt
|
ag2h25
|
{
"description": "not wanting to go to my dad's house",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to go to my dad's house?
|
So here is some background. This is right before winter break. My mom and dad are divorced, and dad is supposed to get half of every break. The thing is, I hate going and never feel safe. Dad is a toxic person. Same situation with my little sister. She is 13 and I am 15. I need to mentally prepare myself for trips, as going there stresses me out.
Then, the night before, which was Christmas Day, I learned it was not a week (which I expected it to be so), but instead it was 12 days. I quite literally broke down crying on the spot. So that night, I talked to my mom and my counselor about this, where both came to the conclusion that I should not go. So I did. Mom sent a text to dad saying they needed to talk, but he didn't answer, so she just told him to not come to my house and pick me and my sister up.
I then go to bed. And it becomes the next day.
Mom gets a call, I get some texts. It is a lot of anger from my dad and his girlfriend. I wake up to my sister at my door with her tablet, and dads girlfriend telling my sister off. Later he comes on the line as well. The gist of what happened is that I am a terrible person for doing this to my father. His grandma died last year, and his family dropped him. My sister and I are the only family dad have left. And I will be an adult soon so I won't have to go anymore. So I should just go one more time for Dad.
This went on all day, including other guilt tripping and a LOT of yelling.
I stood my ground.
At one point my dad called me, yelled at me about the things he knew would make me hurt, then kept on going as he heard me crying.
I have not talked to him since, and I dunno if I should. I think he deleted my number.
A hearing is going on soon because dad either wants mom to make my sister and I go to his house, or he wants to no longer be our parent legally. Moms offer of him being in contact, but staying overnight or going out of state being optional AND all past child support being waived was refused.
Was I the asshole here?
TL;DR: I refuse to go to dads house for Christmas break and stand my ground, rather than going for him even though he knows I am miserable there. He gets really mad.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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76SaDmhOgyOlEorCJJTPEeMgmPO7TUvk
|
a6cbsc
|
{
"description": "snapping at someone for getting into my face about not participating in a dance",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: for snapping at someone for getting into my face about not participating in a dance
|
Okay so I went to a dance type thing. It was fun. But I had to take lots of breaks because of my heart condition.(I get winded walking through my own house. And get tired hat standing up sometimes.) and I was standing in a circle wth some of my friends and I want dancing because I needed the break and this one girl I don't know that well. We'll call her Jen* for this. Anyway Jen* looks over to me and goes "you're not gonna dance, [infinity]"
Me: no.
And she insist on it. So I get sick of her shy so I just leave and go sit down with a couple of my friends that were sitting down in chairs pushed up against the wall.
I eventually decide to go rejoin the circle and dance a little bit.
And Jen* decides to get kinda in my face again about my dancing or not and goes "oh good you're dancing now."
So I'm fed up with this shit because she's like the third person to insist that my taking a break is being a buzzkill type thing and I just snap on this girl and go "by the way, I have a heart condition that means I need to take breaks."
She doesn't hear me the first time over the music so I repeat myself and then she just goes "you didn't have to be rude." And walked off to go grab food.
Not sure if I was an asshole in this situation or if I was well warranted in being a bit fed up? I'm not good with people, it seems
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
WVKeAZGA1eGAIPY3PHspyF7Yw8q8m9p1
|
aj669p
|
{
"description": "not sharing a picture of my own hair",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not sharing a picture of my own hair?
|
So I got some flak for this from my family but does it really count? A while back I asked a family friend to twist long braids in for me as I haven't had them in a while and I love the low maintenance. After sitting for 7 hours getting the braids in and proceeding to thank said friend, my family told me to send a picture to a different family friend to show her. I'll call her T. However I really dont like taking selfies and T comes to the house like 3 times a week. So I just messaged her that I had it done and she'll see it the next time she's over,so like in 2 days.
Apparently I was being selfish for not sending her a picture of myself? I was told I was being inconsiderate to my friend who may have wanted to see it despite never asking my for a pic in the first place. I really don't understand how that is remotely selfish but ok
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
F4iQ0bYowlUgUgNwVXC523Kas9fgPRJM
|
a5zgu6
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut my brother out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut my brother out of my life?
|
Me(21) my brother (24) both still live at home and go to school.
My brother has always had anger problems, mostly consists of quick but short snaps, unnecessary remarks, and seemingly never feeling sorry or admitting he was wrong. In all our years of arguing he never once said that he was sorry or the one in the wrong, on the contrary he usually doubles down. Now I don't want to make it seem like it's all argument all the time, there are good times we've had, but I feel it's overshadowed by his anger problems. He gets into verbal arguments with our single mother, calling her dumb, a bitch, and how he will never visit her when she gets older. She's (65) and works full time and trys to support our education as she knows it will be good for us. Now, she is no saint and comes with her own problems as we all do but I feel he crosses the line, being a 24 year old man dependent on his mother yet still calling her these names. I honestly can't do anything to stop it as he just turns the yelling toward me.
While there is more to write on I guess I'll just get to what compeld me to write this today. So today I got home from school, my brother comes back a couple minutes after me. As soon as I greet him he says "you know, your a pretty fukin awful trash man" it my job to take out the trash and it had gotten full last night, to be fair I hadn't taken it out and was waiting for tomorrow. I tell him I'll take it out but what he said was uncalled for, he said "well you never help me with the fukin lawn now, so you're the trash man and you can't even do that right". I used to help him with the lawn until he yelled at me for "not doing it right" and to never help him again. I tell him you told me not to help you with the lawn, he says "yeah, because that's my job and you're the trash man, now get to it jeevs" then he clapped his hands as you would do to a Butler or something.
I've always contemplated cutting him out of my life and just never having a relationship with him, but my mother made me promise to stick with him because"brothers need to stick together". But I don't know anymore. I'm not trying to make him seem awful, and I'm far from perfect and come with may a fault. But I really can't take it anymore. aita for wanting to cut my only blood relative out of my life? Is it selfish?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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6Wq5d3IO3MeRk3bE5bqCcsqBEokCZf0E
|
a6t7go
|
{
"description": "declining birthday invites",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
AITA for declining birthday invites
|
So my brother invited me and my family to his and his sons birthday. He made it clear that my dog wasn't allowed to come (friendly/clean 7kg miniature schnauzer). They live in a large house in the suburbs, which they moved into recently. They have no allergies.
I told him we won't come if we're not allowed to bring our dog, but we respect their wish for their home to be dog free. I told him we would feel bad leaving the dog alone at home, when it's alone most of the week, when we're working.
Now my brother and his wife is deeply offended, that we didn't attend their birthdays. They won't talk to us, refused to accept a birthday present for their son and has unfriended me on Facebook.
I never intended it to be some kind of big deal, but it's getting out of control. I'm really confused by their reaction.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
ivKlW2hHsfJkCnkgwpsUChCOlvH24VUG
|
b4bhwj
|
{
"description": "taking one of the family birds to a better home",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I take one of the family birds to a better home?
|
It's a bit weird but I have myself in a dilemma.
So my family has this bird, we have two and he's my favorite pet out of all of them. Don't get me wrong. He does nothing most of the time. But I love him to death for it. I've always wanted to take care of a pet while actually just co existing together. He was abused by the last house (he screams whenever a person or a hand is close, his middle toe was broken and never fixed so it's healed in a strange way) he was in but he's definitely in much better care now. My mom feeds him and changes his waterbowl everyday.
My family can tolerate him which I can accept. Sometimes he sings very loudly in the hours of the morning and my family is a very night owl family. I am not, I'd already be up ready in the morning to start the day. So sort of like a second alarm. It's just another thing I love about him.
Of course being a bird he makes a lot of mess. And I know my dad hates messes but there's nothing he can do about it. If I remove the bird it would just be one less mess to stare at.
My mom doesn't clean his cage all that often and doesn't spend the time to actually know him like my other bird (who was not abused and very cheerful). It saddens me to see him only allow to exist in a cage. He's a beautiful blue ringneck and he loves to come outside of his cage. One week my mom was out on vacation and I let him out of his cage everytime I was near him he would come out, sit on the door and sing a tune just for fun. It's was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen a creature do and I didn't need to congratulate him because he would've gotten scared. He allowed me to just enjoy his singing.
I would clean the cage myself but just last week my dad tried to clean the bathroom, which was not much he took out the trash and wiped the tiles and sink. She went ballistic. She has a weird thing where she wont clean but she wont let anybody else clean.
I'm almost old enough to independently move out and get a place of my own and it would always be a scene just like my moms vacation for the bird but with a cleaner cage. A much happier state of mind than the house currently. And my whole family wouldn't need to care for him anymore. But he is also the family bird and scared that my mom will call theft on me and go crazy on my dad and brother who I will have to leave behind. I just want the bird to have a better place to be and my dad not to have to worry about another pet anymore.
So, WIBTA in taking my bird with me?
And if not, I was thinking about removing him the night before but as I said he's scared of hands and people which make him scream at the top of his lungs. That would wake my family up and I don't need that. I want him to have the least trauamatic experience getting from one place to the next. But I haven't exactly worked out the details and need help with that.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Cjo7VRzHAHmIiV8a0L1DnASYho8bBIID
|
9vnpx5
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{
"description": "saying my best friend's boyfriend has a drinking problem",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for saying my best friend’s boyfriend has a drinking problem?
|
"Linda" and I have been best friends for 21 years (we're both F34). She has always been hypercritical of my lifestyle choices; mostly she disapproves of the company I keep. I tend to make friends with or date people who are a little rough around the edges and/or need nurturing, because I’m a bleeding heart caretaker. I suppose their shortcomings turn her off or something. She’s very judgey and doesn’t ever want to hang out with any of my friends. She has very few friends of her own.
2 years ago, I started hanging out with a guy we know from middle school and high school; we’ll call him Brandon. She doesn’t like him because of his past struggles with drugs and alcohol (which she only knows about because I told her, big mistake). He has had legal problems and got kicked out of housing twice because of it. He is now clean, except he still drinks every couple of weeks. When he does, he gets shitfaced, but I’ve never seen him get violent or anything. He is a good guy, really smart and funny, and we are very close.
So Linda has been dating her current boyfriend for about 3 years now. She tells me a lot about him, including the fact that he has a drinking problem. He drinks like half to a full bottle of whiskey almost every night. He has health problems because of his drinking. There have been times where he was sober for a months, but he keeps going back to the bottle. He lives 8 hours away and she goes to stay with him for weeks or months at a time and I barely hear from her during those times, if at all.
About three weeks ago, I invited Brandon to move into my second bedroom because I’m broke and he was living in a crappy motel. We have a legally binding roommate agreement, so if shit goes awry, I have recourse. About two days before he moved in, I sent Linda a text telling her he was moving in. It went kinda like this:
Linda: I don’t think it’s a good idea.
Me: Why?
L: You know why
Me: No I don’t, tell me.
L: Because he has a drinking problem.
Me: Yeah, well your boyfriend has a drinking problem too and you don’t judge him for it.
L: FUCK YOU, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT. I can’t even deal with you today, I’m busy.
Me: Fuck me, eh? Well I am tired of your mean bitch attitude. Have a nice life.
The next day, I apologized for calling her a bitch. But she hasn’t spoken to me since. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
p5b03pdUm0QxKANtqsEegU6milszcMRV
|
ag7jgo
|
{
"description": "saying no to dating my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I said no to dating my best friend
|
Now all you guys are probably gonna be in the comments like “but u/TheXyloGuy, she’s your best friend that’s an opportunity you can’t pass up on” and you guys are right. However I have a few reasons as to why I’m stopping myself
The first reason is I wouldn’t wanna ruin my friendship with her
The second reason is I don’t wanna make some of the friendships I have with people who she’s close to weird. Her brother for example is in my band section and while him and i are buddy buddy close we are fairly good friends and we like to laugh together with the rest of the percussion
The third reason is the last time someone even thought that i liked her, my ex who’s in the same section as her lost her shit and started talking shit about me all over her Instagram and telling people to go and beat my ass. So I really don’t ever wanna deal with her in my life ever again
At the same time though, she is a really sweet girl and she is pretty and I know how much she wants to get into a relationship in general. I just don’t know if I would be able to do it because if the reasons above
So i ask you all, WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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b5j2u6
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{
"description": "not being interested in the Motley Crue biopic on Netflix",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not being interested in the Motley Crue biopic on Netflix?
|
So me and my boyfriend had an argument tonight about this, he thinks I was being the asshole but I don't think I was, although I maybe could have handled things a little better.
We were outside smoking and he started talking to me about the biopic because he'd just watched it today, but I have no interest in it or in Motley Crue in general. So he starts going on and talking about all the things he liked, and I just say "yeah" or "cool" every now and then so I don't seem totally ignorant. We go inside and I try to go back to watching tv but he carries on talking about it. Eventually he realises I'm not listening and he says "I'll tell you about it when the programme gas finished" and I half-joke "you don't have to tell me about it at all"
So he gets upset, her tells me that he doesn't want to watch a film together as we'd planned anymore, and that I've hurt his feelings. So I go upstairs and about an hour later he comes up and we argue because he felt like I was calling him boring and I just wasn't interested in hearing about the film.
So, AITA? Should I have handled things better or dogs he overreact?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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OTHER
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}
|
RIGHT
|
GAgz4RgDrkJjlR295oOJWxMHTneCZ69p
|
azw75g
|
{
"description": "being half-arsed in a relationship where my partner is fully devoted",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for being half-arsed in a relationship where my partner is fully devoted?
|
It hasn't been long, only under 3 months. We are with in our early 20's and found each other off tinder.
I was just looking for a hookup, a lil something something to ease the edge off my sexual nonexistence. He was basically a virgin and has never dated anyone. I made it very clear in the beginning that I wasn't interested in a relationship and he seemed to understand....
Only his behaviour was always extremely boyfriendy, I soon followed suit. And now we are dating I'm still unsure how this came about. I guess I was enamoured by his devotion and intensity. But not really by him even though he seems very intelligent (and that is a definite turn on for me). I kept telling myself that he was just shy and needed help getting out his box but it takes SO much fucking effort to get him to engage with me. Which is weird because he is Hella interested in making us work and definitely puts in more effort than I do except when it comes to the conversation.
It's gotten to the point where I am so bored with our conversation and him as a person. I don't know if it's just because he is depressed and escaping into that foggy, dense cloud that is weed addiction. Or if he is just a boring lame guy.
I'm not sure why I'm with him and he seems to know that. But I am still very much keen to try make it work, I feel like there could be something in him that is worth talking too and would make me think and question life. I. Need. That. Shit in a relationship.
Maybe I'm just sticking around because he is super into me and I like the validation. I have no idea and have been wondering wether to break it off for a while.
All my friends who have met him tell me I'm settling (which is shit because how on earth can you place one person's value above another) but they don't know him when he finally does open up. My one friend says I'm being a bit of a bitch for staying with him because he could be using this time to find someone he really likes who feels the same way back. I think I'm just going along with the ride.
IV been going back and forth on this forever but cannot come to a conclusion.
What the fuck am I suppose to do
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
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|
b9g5jy
|
{
"description": "not giving my friend his money back",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not giving my friend his money back?
|
Recently my friends and I took a trip to Las Vegas for a bachelor party, which as the best man I planned. We don’t live close enough to drive so we flew. I told everyone to book their flight, but I collected money for the hotel rooms. One of the guys going, we’ll call John, said he’d pay for the room, but is driving due to fear for airplanes. This was planned probably 6-7 months in advance. John and I were good friends and used to work together. We’d always talk about how excited we were for the trip. I ended up getting a new job on night shift and we didn’t talk as often. Fast forward to a week before the trip. I texted John to make sure everything was set for the trip. He said that he was buying a house, and might not be able to go, but would let me know in three days. Fast forward to 6 days later. The day before the trip. I asked John what is plan was. John said he got the house, couldn’t make it, was bummed but it happens. He told me “I won’t be a bitch about the money, it’s not your guys’ fault I can’t go”. So case closed no big deal. The rest of us went, had a great time, came back.
Then, out of the blue, John sends me a Venmo request without saying anything. I texted him and told him I was sorry but that money is gone. There was no way we could have gotten refunded within a day of check in. Then John sent me a HUGE several paragraph text about how if it were reversed I’d already have the money back, it won’t be that much if everyone splits it, that it won’t break the bank for him but if I don’t send him the money it will be “fucked up and honestly probably ruin our friendship”. I told him he could ask whoever he wanted for money, but that I wasn’t giving him anything.
In the end he just asked me to forget about the whole thing, but I haven’t talked to him since.
TL;DR- My friend backed out of a trip on short notice and threatened not to be my friend if I didn’t refund him his portion of the cost.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
bzKt7RkdOFgwhpGWv4HxuvGWuhAyhSCN
|
as3r37
|
{
"description": "telling a manager someone wants to quit",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for telling a manager someone wants to quit?
|
We work at McDonald’s and lately my co-worker has been calling in a lot. So then she actually showed up to work on a Sunday, and asked if I was upset with her. I kinda of was but I was over it. She then continued to say, “I told my boyfriend I’ve been thinking about quitting.” So I was like really? Because honestly if you move on from here, then good for you. You’re making money moves and that’s the plan. But then she had a order to take and we never finished talking about it because I was leaving.
Then Tuesday came and I asked my manager if my co-worker had a job lined up because she talks to my manager about everything. When I asked my manger, I had the best intentions because I want to see how she’s doing. I care about her and so I want to know that she’s doing alright after she leaves. So when I asked my manager she knew nothing of it.
Then Friday came and my co-workers “best friend” -who also works with us- told me what she had been saying. Let’s call her bff, Liz. Apparently my manager had told Liz everything that I asked her about on Tuesday. Liz didn’t know what she talking about either, but she went straight to the source. She had blown up our co-workers phone in hopes of finding out if it was the truth. The first thing my co-worker sent was “Tell **** to shut her mouth and quit telling lies.” But the thing is Liz didn’t even know who told our manager. So then she had pretty much just confirmed that she had told me. So Liz was upset because she hadn’t been told anything. But then our co-worker was getting heated and was starting to say she wanted to come up and fight someone.
Sunday had come, and my co-worker acted like nothing had happened. I decided I wasn’t going to pick at the problem because we are forced to work together. My only problem is why couldn’t she admit the truth? Plenty of people have talked about quitting with managers and have never been fired. I don’t see why she would lie about it and tell others I was spreading rumors.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
r9QEEfY6UrEX9iPO1WSNykIVrevvGG2O
|
aikfkw
|
{
"description": "wanting to break up from a one sided relationship",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to break up from a one sided relationship?
|
Ok so I made an account on here just to post this, I'm a university student which means my weeks are pretty full, I am also an infantry soldier in the British army reserve which takes up most of my weekends and the odd week here and there, and to top it off I also work part time in a restaurant, so as you can tell my life is pretty busy.
Because my life is busy and hectic when I do finally get time to myself I want to spend it with my girlfriend of 3 years, she has a very busy time schedule herself and I understand that but I manage to make time for her with mine, however, she refuses to change little things like going out for coffee with friends to spend time with me (Despite me appealing a two week deployment to Lithuania because she was in a hard place, which cost me to lose a lot of money, and to top it off when I wanted to see her that week she said no and didn't even give a reason) when she when I finally get an evening off.
I'm not needy, I'm not clingy, I would just like to spend an evening with my girlfriend after a stressful week. Lately she hasn't even been bothering to answer my messages, she shows very little emotional affection lately too.
I'm trying to have a healthy relationship but if she's not willing to make time for me when she has more free time anyway, why should I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
a2rj0f
|
{
"description": "\"showing off\"",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For "Showing off"
|
As a bit of a background - both my wife and I are professionals, earning a good wage and have a two year old son. We've never been one to splash cash, or show off... and we have a variety of friends. Most of our friends however fall into the category of professionals and I'd assume household incomes in excess of £100K were fairly common. I.e, they aren't struggling. This will become relevant later.
Now, we're good friends with a couple who live near us, who also have a two year old (a couple of months older than our son). So it makes sense that we hang out a bit, given the kids go to the same nursery, and seem to like playing together etc. So we do family outings to the zoo, or go on walks together etc.
Everything was fine until my son started talking. Like a real chatterbox. We spend a lot of the time on these outings talking to our son, and teaching him new words. We also try and do the same with their son. The thing is he's not a talker. Yes, people say our son talks beyond his age, but i also know he was amongst the last to walk amongst his peers. I've always prescribed to the "Kids do things at different ages philosophy", and as such have never really gave it much notice.
A couple of times now I've received passive aggressive comments from these friends about constantly proving my son can talk better than ours. They even said once that my son was "acting like a trained monkey". This pissed me off. A lot. I am not showing off, he asks questions about what things are called, and repeats them, and understands them. He enjoys it. It's also what's best for my child.
We have now also started to get comments about the price of things, and whether we should really be getting our child a certain toy, or take him to so many places as he'll be "spoilt". This is also something I'm acutely aware of and yes my son gets gifts, sure... but we have never, ever brought him something when he demanded it in a shop, and have taught him manners. From when he was a year old we let him look at toys in the shop, but made him say "bye bye" to them, and put them back on the shelf himself. Going back to one of my first points... they have plenty of disposable cash themselves it's not like I'm sending my kid of horse riding whilst they're struggling to buy food.
I can see where they're coming from, and my wife seems to think we should dial our communication down with our son when we're with them, and maybe hide some of his toys to prevent comment from them.
But I absolutely refuse to. I talk to my son the same way when we're alone, and I'm not going to cater to their wants. If this was a normal "be aware of others feelings and circumstances" things, I'd think I was being an ass hole. But as this will limit my son's enjoyment of things I simply refuse to cater to it.
So, am I entitled to my views? Or am I blinded by my son, and being an ass hole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
J0tM5y5z1apWsVHCoTDU91EdPacut44C
|
b701fe
|
{
"description": "refusing to open a jar of pickles for an old lady",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for refusing to open a jar of pickles for an old lady?
|
Happened last week, and i dont know what to think.
Went out for lunchbreak and headed to the local supermarket, i go there almost every day, so i was kind of running on auto pilot.
I was inside looking to get the usual stuff i always get, when suddenly a tiny old lady approaches me, holing a jar of pickles.
She asked me nicely to open it for her, which was weird since we were in the middle of the supermarket, and she most likely didnt purchased them yet.
In general this was a very strange encounter.
I then suggested to her, in a neutral tone i guess, that she should go and ask one of the store clerks. Because.. i dont know, i dont want to be the accomplice in some case of pickletheft.
The lady then got upset and roasted me for having no respect for the elderly, and wasnt even ready to be a little helpful.
She said that while storming off, i didnt got to reply anything to that.
I then saw her again later at the checkout, where she told the cashier about the situation with me. The cashier replied something among the lines of "yeah our youth is a shame" and so on.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
iMtpVfTdcJTVEnsEG9yQjajUS4mfllsv
|
9woge8
|
{
"description": "surrendering my dog after weeks of trying to train",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I surrendered my dog after weeks of trying to train?
|
adopted a 6 year old dog about 7 months ago. He’s 60 lb hound mix. He was brought to shelter from another state when his owner got sick. In previous home, they knew owner was home a lot, had several dogs and found our dog as a stray a few years prior.
He was timid but loving. He is loyal, friendly dog 99% of the time. He’s great with kids, loves walks, cuddle, etc. but he won’t be crated and has severe anxiety.
7 months ago we put out crate, feed him in it, which he would do (and still does) but when we tried to crate train he resisted, pulls, jumps up on us to not go in. So we stopped. He would chew shoes, soft pillows and even chewed three doorknobs. We left him toys, etc...didn’t stop. We Took anything he could chew out of living room.
Over summer I was home and we tried to crate train again...same behavior. I think me being home made it worse. He wasn’t alone very often and if he was, he destroyed anything he could get. In early September just after I was back at work, he destroyed our couch, flipping pieces over, cut himself, etc.
In response, we made him a pen that we could walk in with him, tried to train him in it, he figured out how to get out and cut himself and hurt his face. Further destroying our couch and anything else he could find including plastic, metal, etc. he even opened a closet to get my coat out and eat it.
So we got a training collar and a steel pen. Got him in 3 times before he got out. Had to reinforce it. I usually am the one to put him in before I leave with kids and I can’t get him in. The dog fights me for as long as I have, jumps on me, and I’m not strong enough to physically pull him in. It becomes a battle. I’ve been bringing him to husband at work but it’s not working out. Dog is chewing things if husband and co-workers leave area. It’s a garage that has chemicals, etc. he can’t always be with our dog.
We consulted vet, put him on anxiety meds, but based on cost we can’t keep him on them forever...we also can’t afford the behaviorist/training that they recommend. We’ve maxed out our savings with crates, meds, etc. we also can’t afford to replace our couch so we have it taped up with a blanket over it. It was 8 pcs. We have 4 ripped up pieces left.
His anxiety is so severe that if he sees me getting dressed for work he cries, follows me around, and will hide if I call him to try to get him in crate. He can’t handle being alone.
Our kids love him but they aren’t the ones fighting him and/or worried he will harm himself if alone. We can’t go anywhere unless the dog comes because the crate training isn’t working.
WIBTA if we call shelter and surrender him? Love the dog but worry he needs a different type of situation...
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
qOMtaU9o1XyIuYCQEN7u0kOxIF8iU9CG
|
ahfaad
|
{
"description": "not being involved",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITAH for not being involved
|
After asking my ex to have an abortion she moved across the country to give birth without my objection, then proceeded to still give the baby my name even though there was no possible way for me to be on the birth certificate at the time.
They still live across the country and avoid me at all costs. So am I the asshole for not being involved in their lives
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
RIGHT
|
9n0ygT9BY6d6hQRrK2guBmXc7TIEps6I
|
b7wm0t
|
{
"description": "wanting to split a hotel bill fairly, even if one of the occupants is a kid",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting to split a hotel bill fairly, even if one of the occupants is a kid?
|
I’ll try to keep this short even though there are a lot of details. My dad, uncle I’m not really close to, and his 16 year old son are all attending a family wedding over the weekend. I’m 30, close to the groom and have already sunk a lot of time and money into the various out of state parties leading up to this, so I’m trying to do this as cheaply as possible. I agreed to split a hotel room with my dad, but after seeing the high prices of hotels in the area, suggested an Airbnb. After finding a particularly pricy one that was up to his standards, he mentioned that we should leave enough room for the uncle and cousin. I say okay, and think that’s even better because then my dad and uncle can split the bill between them as usual, and I’ll just give my dad half of his share. My dad calls my uncle to confirm, and upon hearing the uncle balk at the price, blurts out that we can split it three ways instead of two. I get pretty mad about this because we didn’t discuss this and now I’m paying way more than I planned to. Now, I know the 16 year old is in no way to be held financially responsible for the weekend. However, I don’t think it’s fair that my dad and I have to subsidize the uncle’s room share, when he and my cousin are taking up just as much of the house. It’s equivalent to my dad and I splitting a hotel as planned, then going next door and giving my uncle more money to keep things fair. Now everyone’s upset and I feel like a heel but I still think my logic is sound.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
zfxXU8hsNexYYErHy3y5ReddIseSDnR4
|
an6a1s
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend to actually watch whenever we watch a movie",
"pronormative_score": 40,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend to actually watch whenever we watch a movie?
|
Hey guys, so my girlfriend is pissed at me because I was annoying her when we were watching Harry Potter. We’re watching all of the movies right now because she wanted to, and every 5 seconds she looks down at her phone to like pictures on Instagram. She then is confused when something happens that she missed because she was on her phone. I do this more often than I’d like to admit, and she got really annoyed at me and told me to stop telling her to watch. I get why she’s annoyed, but what’s the point of watching movies if you need someone to explain it to you. Movies have visuals for a reason... they’re not audiobooks
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
B2M6sTxigNIzVWBVzFi4gY6vvCj0hTpZ
|
amiloi
|
{
"description": "refusing to leave the dog park and ruining a meet-up",
"pronormative_score": 305,
"contranormative_score": 90
}
|
AITA for refusing to leave the dog park and ruining a meet-up.
|
Ok, so I'm going to paint the picture. It's been frigid and unbearable outside the past few days and has given myself and dog a case of cabin fever. He's use to having a hour walk on the beach and a few small walks each day. So after 3 days of just small walks and being stuck in the house I wanted to let him stretch his legs. He's a 60 pound German Shorthaired Pointer and loves running.
Now my closest dog park is about a 40 minute ride and I usually don't go too often because it's so far out of the way for me. Keep in mind it's a county run dog park and is only ever closed for maintenance or for use of the county.
When I arrived I was excited to see a good amount of cars, sometimes it's hit or miss and you can find yourself there with just 1-2 other dogs.
I walked up to the entrance to the enclosed dog park (which is blocked by trees from the parking lot) and saw the park was loaded with Labradoodles. It was pretty awesome and funny to see about 20-25 Labradoodles in one place.
Before I even open up the gate to go in I'm told to stop by a dog owner, I do so because I didn't know if there was a nasty dog in the park. This lady goes on to tell me that the park is closed for an event hosted by the ________ County Labradoodle Association. She tells me that I can go to the small dog area down the road (which is roughly the size of two mobile homes, not the 3 acre park I'm at now).
I'm not one for conflict so I kinda laugh and say no thank you (laughing is just a reaction I have when I'm confronted, more of a chuckle). I go to open up the gate and she sticks her foot in the way so I can't open it. She tells me to stop laughing in her face and to go to the small dog area (with my 60 pound dog?). At this point in the conversation we started to get an audience, knowing people were watching she started to get louder and tell me to leave.
I was relieved when another person came over but it turned out to be her husband. He tried telling me they've been organizing this meet up for the past 3 months and put a lot of effort into getting a good turn out. He was trying to be reasonable but I really just couldn't see it for their perspective.
Now this whole time my dog is whining and crying trying to get into the park and other dogs have gathered and are barking at the new comer. The lady flips this on me, and says that im causing an unnecessary scene. A few other owners come along and tell her to let me in. She graciously gives me 10 minutes of time in the park.
My dog is happier than a pig in sh*t, running around and having a ball. All the time he's under the close supervision of this woman, Rachel and her husband.
Now this is where I may become the a**hole,
apparently she set a timer and proceeds to tell me my time is up. Without even thinking and completely on impulse like a crime of passion I say "F*** off you annoying C***." That's right, I said the no-no word. The one you're never to call a woman.
I froze and just decided to own it. I walked away and told her to leave me alone. Her husband was not too impressed with what I had to say and came to confront me. Now, they may be older than me (mid 40's) but I'm 27 and sure as hell not a kid.
He goes on to insist I apologise to his wife and that I need to conduct myself like an adult and not a frat boy. He tells me to do so or face the consequences for my actions, I ask him if he's threatening me, he tells me your damn right I am. I agree to apologise to her. I get my dog and leave without saying a word to her.
I sit in my car and a call the park rangers and tell them the whole situation, they tell me they received two other calls about the incident, previous people getting turned away. So about 20 minutes later 4 trucks of park rangers show up and shut down the park for unscheduled maintenance for about an hour.
Really not the outcome I wanted because because it seemed to only be the one couple and about 4 other people in their posse. I felt like shit because about 15 other people had their outting ruined. So I'm just sitting here in my car waiting for the park to reopen while the rangers do "maintenance" and I'm wondering AITA?
TLDR- Denied entry to dog park, allowed to come in for 10 minutes, told to leave, drop the C-bomb, leave and get the park closed for "maintenance"
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 25,
"OTHER": 303,
"EVERYBODY": 65,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 305,
"WRONG": 90
}
|
RIGHT
|
cZpDZXwPFd0sAA8NU5nS34P9pzg8HNEq
|
b8dmxk
|
{
"description": "calling my brother-in-law and alcoholic if he is an alcoholic",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling my brother-in-law and alcoholic if he is an alcoholic?
|
April 1, 2019
My brother-in-law has another seizure from alcohol withdrawal(2nd in 6 months). He’s my brother-in-law and I hate his situation and feel bad that he’s going through so much.
I’m doing my best to support my wife by talking and offering suggestions but she says it comes across as judgemental and now she’s mad at me and says she doesn’t feel supported. How do you support someone without listening, expressing concern and offering a suggestion?
AITA for trying to be supportive but not knowing what that looks like through her eyes?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
CEqrPL1q6j4j5tKVjxDYmCCm5qvu3jNK
|
avmmf4
|
{
"description": "taking my break during the end of a double shift",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking my break during the end of a double shift?
|
Outside of grad school I work at a fast casual restaurant. I'm the type of guy that doesn't mess around on the job. I don't have my phone out, and I try to ensure that the customers are happy.
I always get asked to cover someone's weekend night shift and I don't mind doing so. I'm actually the oldest as everyone that works there except the manager is under the age of 22 including the shift leaders.
Unfortunately it was hectic during the AM shift and I wasn't able to take my 30 minute break so I just continued to work until 30 minutes to close. We were "fully staffed" so I figured I could quickly take my break then.
I did ask the shift leader before I took my break for permission which he said, "sure." It was at 9:30 when I took my break.
As 10pm is approaching I get ready to go back and help close. At this point the shift leader comes back and tell me what I did was unacceptable and selfish and that I shouldn't do it again.. I was so confused and ticked off, but said nothing.
I gave a fake apology and said it wouldn't happen again. I know that workers are allowed at least a 30min break by law right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
U0wKfEUCs6agS14NFWRRFbrpIb9hoJK5
|
b80h7f
|
{
"description": "wanting first choice of room in my father's student house",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting first choice of room in my father's student house?
|
Hey, I'll keep this short and simple. Basically, me and 5 of my current flatmates are moving in to a house my father recently bought for us as our accommodation for uni. He will be giving them all discounted rent. Am I in the wrong for wanting first choice of room? My father wants me to have it, but when I bring it up to my flatmates, they think it's unfair. I want to hear a neutral opinion on the matter.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
scf2lbv5QUXCNT1gHr37hBVYN2GdWk8r
|
b2kbrw
|
{
"description": "calling someone out at a barbecue",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for calling someone out at a barbecue?
|
Yesterday I was at a barbecue at the park with about 8 of my friends (keep in mind all of us age from 19-21) and as everyone was packing up after just eating, I went to grab a napkin at the table and realized we were out of napkins. Okay, not a big issue, until the person beside me “puts” his hand on my shoulder (for one second) basically wiping his hand and the grease/dried up gunk onto my shirt. I immediately looked at his body language and he is trying to act like he did it as a friendly gesture. I looked at my shirt, now stained, and yelled “why the hell did you just wipe your hand on me” and everyone began talking to me like I was the one over reacting, when from my point of view there is no other situation that I could see, other than him just seeing we had no napkins and thought that I would be too timid to say anything back about it. Either way, I’m not upset about my shirt, but rather the fact that everyone (including my brother who was with us) thinks it’s okay that he just used me as a napkin.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
qFdKfJfGVP35KV3jUekyYBNtUvulNq49
|
b86sv5
|
{
"description": "stopping talking to my friend because her boyfriend was a dick to me",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA If I stopped talking to my friend because her boyfriend was a dick to me?
|
Long story short I never really liked him, he would usually poke around his nose in my business and he doesn't even know me. We never talked much because of it . I've already told her a lot of times that I don't enjoy his company and that I'm not comfortable to talk to him. So last night I was talking to her about a girl that I like but I didn't know he was the one using her account and talking to me. He later was taunting me that the girl is way outta my league and stuff. Later my friend told me that he was the one using her account but she didn't really apologize for it and it felt bad.
WIBTA If I stop talking to hee over this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
rl3iIC29BSdAd2QOj3ts2aOB8rfZzSma
|
amdnx1
|
{
"description": "ignoring her",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA because I ignored her
|
So when I was 13 , I had a girlfriend. I was twice in a relationship with her, so the first time she broke up was because her father didn't like foreigner although I was born there. But we got back together because she changed her mind. So she didn't listen to her father.
For the record, before we were in our first relationship, her friend (female) showed me a text message. The message was about her losing me as a friend, if we were in a relationship and broke up.
Let's continue with the story. In our second relationship, she met her bestfriend (male). They've met sometimes to go for a walk or so. But they did ask me if I want to got with them. I had this feeling that they had something going on, but they didn't kiss or so. But i could feel this connection or tension( can't describe it) between them. The next day I ignored her while waiting in front of the school to open the doos. She noticed and broke up. But before that we had a conversation why I did ignore her. I said I was jealous about a boy. But I didn't say it was her bestfriend (male), because I didn't want him to know because he was good friend of mind before this happened. 2 month after we broke up she and her bestfriend were in a relationship. We still go to the same school but don't talk to each other. Am I an asshole?
I'm sorry if I made a mistake while writing. I have problems writing. My hand is sometimes faster than my brain.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZEF9AMp5DERohlH3P7XRhkGflLzX58f9
|
aikevr
|
{
"description": "sleeping with a mutual friend of my ex",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for sleeping with a mutual friend of my ex?
|
So for context, my ex and I are still best friends and we broke up because we were incompatible in the relationship. We're still really close and hang out but we aren't as close as we once were. This weekend we got in a fight because I didn't respond to her text as I was busy organizing my team as we were attending a two-day beach tournament.
​
Things have also been rough since I've been having personal issues on top of the stress of planning logistics so I opened up to a mutual friend of my ex and me. One thing led to another and we ended up cuddling on her couch and sleeping together, albeit nothing happened beyond cuddling. Afterwards, she and I decided it'd be good if she texted my ex about what happened because my ex would find out one way or another, but now my ex is super distraught about the whole thing.
​
Am I the asshole for letting this happen? I really value our friendship and I still love my ex, albeit in a familial and not romantic way.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3zpbFXK064SLZPCzHhg0WCXHqzySoA5V
|
ad3paj
|
{
"description": "encouraging people to report people who frequently make \"dark jokes\" to the authorities",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
WIBTA to encourage people to report people who frequently make “dark jokes” to the authorities?
|
Purely hypothetical (thankfully), but if someone kept jesting about, say, abuse and made dark jokes pertaining to it, would it be vigilant or overreactive to send a tip to the local authorities? It’s a very serious and real topic and most people don’t dare treat with levity for the sake of good taste. I would feel negligent to not report these hypothetical “edgelords” to the police.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
2yuIzcR4IMom0CNqpebE5YuaCAgmAT5C
|
aslk4n
| null |
AITA - How much of an asshole was I?
|
BF and I had an argument last night.
I've been on him to make a doctors appointment for a couple months now for some issues he's been having since before we met (over a year now). He did have a few check-ups for the same issue last year (I was worried and convinced him to) and just like those doctors before, the one last night advised him to change his lifestyle or the consequences could be severe and unpleasant.
Since I am in the same position as him and should do the same things (moderate exercise, a healthier and lither diet, less sitting in a chair) I offered to try and do it together for mutual support. I've made this offer before and tried on my own but he sort of undermined me.
The doctor last night gave him a small list of exercises to improve blood circulation in the legs. It would take about 10-15 minutes to do them and after we got home i suggested we do them together. He refused saying he was tired and I tried to convince him by saying that he needs to push through it a bit and just do it, as i know the first step is the hardest. (While I appreciate him for the work he does it's not physically demanding, he sits in a chair all day and the exercise would do him good).
His response was that by that logic I should swallow cum everyday so I get used to it.
Next morning he admitted he was an asshole and said he only said that to show me how my argument was flawed.
Now I'm left with doubts as to wether or not I was at fault... I hate seeing him self destruct and I'm not sure how to go about convincing him to try and get better together.
How much of an asshole was I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
CwlummfWlDmaVZPJsuiyMHGcxpRWzw5L
|
b4apvs
|
{
"description": "being jealous of my boyfriend's girl best friend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being jealous of my boyfriend’s girl best friend?
|
So, me and my boyfriend have a kinda complicated relationship. We dated in 2016, and broke up after 7 months. Then, I ignored him for 2 years. But a few months ago, I reached out and started talking to him again. We soon got back together and have been dating for 4 months. But after we broke up in 2016, he became friends with the girl (we’ll call her M). They are very close, and I always suspected something was going on between them. When my boyfriend told me he liked me a few months ago, before we started dating again, I was still suspicious of him and M. 2 days after we started dating, he told me that M kissed him at a concert they both went to. (M knew that he was dating me at the time) Then, he admitted to me that him and M had been friends with benefits for a few months and he ended it when he realized he wanted to date me again. I was shocked, and angry, because it was something I expected, but also didn’t expect. I thought about breaking up with him, but I didn’t. Now, M figured out that I know they were friends with benefits, and she apologized. however, I don’t trust her at all. The second i’m gone, it seems like they’re flirting and stuff. They always make jokes about how they were friends with benefits (not in front of me but in front of a mutual friend, who tells me everything) and it makes me quite uncomfortable. I’m jealous because it seems like M is always flirting with my boyfriend, and they talk more and text more than me and my boyfriend. On multiple occasions, my boyfriend has assured me that nothing is happening between them, but a piece of me always doesn’t believe him. I’ve told him this, and he said he would never cheat on me. I’m not worried about him, it’s M i’m worried about most of the time. She has a very flirtatious personality, but she acts more flirty around my boyfriend than any other guys, which makes me very annoyed. I don’t hate her, but i just wish that she wasn’t friends with my boyfriend. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
FMDPsahI6R8slXfv00P50sY3Sunh51EM
|
b0th4a
|
{
"description": "returning my Ikea furniture because I don't need it anymore",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
WIBTA if I returned my Ikea furniture because I don't need it anymore?
|
I moved into my 1 bedroom apartments on April 1st 2018, and got all my furniture from IKEA on April 4th. I am moving to a smaller studio in a week, and have to downsize. IKEA has a 1 year return policy on everything. I don't need my dinner table & chairs, side table, dresser, and I also want to get rid of my current bed-frame because I just don't like it anymore. Everything is in good condition. I just don't want to go through the hassle of selling furniture at a loss when I could just return it and get everything back.
WIBTA for taking advantage of their return policy here?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
RIGHT
|
R0ijJI4MMJcV2rb3dbMxtnF52qsBLFgb
|
az0fud
|
{
"description": "getting a dog without telling my gf",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for getting a dog without telling my gf
|
So tonight I had a heated argument with my gf of one year about my decision to adopt a dog. She was very angry about the fact that I hid this from her until tonight, and that I was "changing the plans of our relationship".
Apparently she had it set in her mind that we would move in together very shortly, and having a dog prevented us from doing that. She has a lease on an apartment that runs through next year, and dogs aren't allowed in them.
I explain to her that I can raise the puppy at my parents place and we can move in to a dog friendly place next year. This isn't good enough for her and she gets really upset about the fact that I have to spend more time at home, rather than living with her at her apartment.
I already spend about half the time at her place anyway, so it's not like we never see each other. I would expect a 4:3 split
of staying at home and raising dobby versus staying with her to be fair. She says I'm valuing a dog more than her. I try to explain that its just another year than we can live together, but she's set in stone on her plans. I think she's being stubborn and unflexible. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 9,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
hrR6Av5k8mAk4b0lOHUWG9mdGPcEYPIC
|
a13adz
|
{
"description": "not liking one of my friends during a relationship or being because of me being jealous",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA If I don't like one of my friends during a relationship or is because of me being jealous
|
disclaimer/background: This is my first post on Reddit and I have been going through this subreddit and it is one of favorite, as well as I, am terrible at language arts and will probably butcher this
​
backstory: My friend who, I will now refer to as A is F(18) and me, I am M(18). We are decent friend nothing serious and I am curious if other guys and girl for the topic of discussion feel this way, I really do not enjoy my friend (A) when she has a boyfriend. nothing against the guy she is with he is an actually a major upgrade in my personal opinion over her last one and of course she is still a very nice person who is nothing but kind and her house is always open to me and my friends (her house is party central with a hot tub and it is extremely fun.) Me and (A) had recently graduated from Hs together and things were awesome for everyone majority of our friends are really smart and I do fall to the lower end of the intelligence spectrum with majority my friends becoming doctors, engineers and or very well received tradespeople. After me and A graduate from Hs, we stay home and decided to go to our local college. Over the summer break, this did not bother me as much but start to, so (A) is a real and very well rounded attractive women and is adored by all for looks a personality alike, prior to graduation A is complaining about J her boyfriend at the time who she has been dating for a very long time and we really do not know why, J is kinda a dick and hated her guy friends, being me and my friends who are mainly guys who hang out with her. We are different in the way that we give her the gears about being with this boy and we are very critical of her boyfriend because she just complained about him so we would constantly question her reasons for being with him so we do have reason to criticize her being with her boyfriend but at the end of the day we all agree she is an adult and she needs to handle her relationship by herself.
Now the juicy bits, A breaks up with J midway through July and goes on multiple long rants about how she won't be with a guy for very long. LMAO. So things kinda hit it off between Me and A and we have the kinda odd thing between each other and we have sex and it goes from there. I go on a vacation thinking you know it might work out given time and we could potentially have a relationship but I feel like its also not enough time after the break up even though when we had sex is closer towards the beginning of August. I gave her a solid amount of time to get her self together because of her long rants. I take a vacation to California and enjoy myself knowing like whatever happen's happens, with this girl I'm sure well make it work were good friends after all and I like her company and I mean if the time and occasion occurs we are comfortable with each other to have sex so meh kinda shrug it off only to return home to her dating someone who happens to my coworker, who I have nothing against what so ever he's a good guy so what can you do so I can't really be upset about him not knowing what we did not tell people about. Since were decent friends we worked things out but now every time I see her with a photo of her boyfriend which she constantly spams on her Instagram account with I do get a bit angry cause now she just goes I this vicious cycle about complaining with her boyfriend not doing this and not doing that and I'm not entirely sure if it is me being mad at her for what happened between us or if it is me being jealous. Now I don't feel comfortable talking to A about this because I know she will just tell other people and I would like to keep it between us. So now I just don't talk to her at all through here and there in the group chat for a party or event we are planning. Feel like the asshole cause now I am at the point where I do not enjoy talking to her and just do not like her talking to me.
​
So am I the asshole for feeling like this and has this happened to you before ( I'm curious) or do guys think it is because of im jealous she choose him.
please go easy on me I'm worried more about judgment rather than grammar.
​
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
mPsXbPFwl8vQ8L56bbtIsm9gvAw800BV
|
b7qn66
|
{
"description": "sitting next to a couple in the movie theater",
"pronormative_score": 40,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA sitting next to a couple in the movie theater?
|
Went to see "Us" by myself last night in a theater. (It was awesome, by the way.) Got in just as it was about to start. I see a single open seat in the middle of the theater, middle of the row, just next to the walking path to the other side... I hope that makes sense. There were a group of three ladies on one side, and a couple (young, female next to the seat, male next to her). It was a small theater and was mostly full except for a handful of end-row seats. The whole row looked like this:
(More seating up here)
\_ X X \_ X X X \_
\_\_(front walking isle)\_\_
(More seating below)
So I asked if that middle spot was available, and the girl of the couple moved her purse out of it for me. I said thanks, sat down, then her dude said:
BF: Aren't there any other seats?
Me: Uh... sure, there's one next to you and a couple up there. Why, do you not want me to sit here?
BF: ...It's just weird.
The movie was just starting so we both sat back. But I guess I just didn't understand why it was weird. I am pretty fluent in social norms. I'm also 36 and don't mind seeing movies alone. To me, if there's an open seat in a full theater, I'll take it. I felt like it was weird that he thought it was weird. I told myself that he's just young (probably around 20) and naive.
Context: I don't smell bad, don't look like a threat. Just a normal dude. After the movie, they left first and there wasn't a word between us. But I just can't shake it and wanted some outside opinions.
Should I have not taken the empty seat? Was I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 40,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 40,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
EEhYglPLS6YrMEpQaNV6tYLgqOl4wvj2
|
avzkn9
|
{
"description": "moving out with 2 day notice",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for moving out with 2 day notice?
|
Am I the asshole for moving out with 2 day notice?
So basically I’m moving out this weekend and my roommate/landlady don’t know.
I moved in with some friends, one of which is the daughter (22) of the owner of the home. Since then, the owner has been sleeping on our couch at least one week per month. She takes up the whole front room, basically leaving us without a living room. Well, now she has been here for an entire month with no signs of leaving.
On top of this, the daughter (who I used to be really close friends with) has turned into an entitled brat and who has been giving me the silent treatment since I *gasp* asked her to clean up after herself several times before I had my family over for an afternoon.
The reason I haven’t told them yet is because I know mom and daughter are sneaky, vengeful, and compulsive liars and I’m afraid they are going to steal/break my things while I’m at work.
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ba1pg6
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{
"description": "not wanting my friend to hangout with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for not wanting my friend to hangout with my ex?
|
Throw away account, mobile user, yada yada yada.
A bit of a background, My Ex and I, we dated for about 6 months last year. I was 17, and she was 16. I was pretty much her first love, and to me, I’m still not sure how I felt. It may have been love but let’s call it lust for now. Me and her still keep in contact regularly since she is a horned up individual and natural, (since I am a male) so am I.
Recently one of my friends that I see and hangout with on a daily basis has started talking to her. I see him on her Snapchat stories and all that jazz. She asked me if I would be uncomfortable with them hanging out together. He most likely wants to have sex with her. He knows me and her have a history together but it doesn’t seem to bother him. I’m really not sure if I still have feelings for this girl but just hearing that has recently started making me wake up with night terrors about them dating. I’m starting to wonder if I should just let them do their thing, but that would probably end our friendship.
TLDR: Friend wants to hangout with ex and I really don’t want them to.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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uiuevyef5DSX1F73RBCEDWC4meA9KCc9
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b4d5g2
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{
"description": "continuing to hold my ex to an agreement we had while dating",
"pronormative_score": 20,
"contranormative_score": 36
}
|
AITA for continuing to hold my ex to an agreement we had while dating
|
My ex and I had an agreement. I would work while he went to school and when he was finished and became employed, he would pay my way through school. I obviously don’t expect to live with him, but there’s nothing stopping him from living up to his word by paying my tuition costs.
He and I have been giving each other minimal contact. Just some space to heal and move on. Today I reached out to discuss our agreement. I started off by asking him how he’s been doing, told him how I was. We were interacting nicely so it seemed like the time was finally ready to discuss our agreement. He became hostile about it. I think maybe he read a bit into our conversation opener. It’s the only reason I can see for him to get upset.
He said our agreement means shit now. I covered almost everything while he was in school. I would have never done that had there not been a clear agreement that he would pay for mine. I’m not sure if there’s any actions I can take, there was no written agreement. So for now I basically just keep calmly arguing with him about it. It’s not getting me far, but I won’t just give up! He should keep his word whether we are together or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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{
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WRONG
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NO0FXIQkLCCNDVkOuYdyftT1FNgVwI5w
|
b3r66u
|
{
"description": "not throwing my daughter a birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not throwing my daughter a birthday party?
|
Here’s the thing. My daughter will be turning 2 in a couple of weeks. Her first birthday we did the whole nine yards, decorating, special cake, smash cake, taco bar, etc etc. It was stressful and I found I didn’t enjoy the day with my daughter as much.
This year I wanted to take her out for pizza (her favorite), then take her to the aquarium or zoo for her to just have fun running around and looking at all the animals. Then afterwards come home for cake and sing happy birthday to her.
My SO’s family isn’t happy with this scenario because they want a big get together, like my niece just had in November for her 2nd birthday. But I just don’t feel like stressing and I want to enjoy the day with my daughter. I’ve also invited the family to do these things with us so they can also spend the day with her too. Or, they can just come for cake and ice cream.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a8e3xx
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{
"description": "cutting off a friend who I wronged first",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cutting off a friend who I wronged first?
|
So this is a doozy. I have a friend, we’ll call her Carla. We’ve been friends for many years. She’s the type that always has to be the funniest, and she usually is, but she’s very type A (we always have to do what she wants, you can do her favours but not vice versa, etc). So recently I got myself a boyfriend! Yay me, right? Nope, she has decided she doesn’t like him and every time we hang out she feels it’s her right to tell me all of the reasons why (mind you, she doesn’t know him - at all). She also tells me that she doesn’t like who I am now (because I now have plans that don’t involve her on the weekend, god forbid). So I know I’m not the asshole for getting some space from her... BUT, here’s where it gets complicated.
Carla has been with a guy for about 7 years. I knew him before I knew her and we had a wee bit of an affair (emotional affair only, but it was wrong none the less). I met her after it had started, ended the affair due to my guilt (I didn’t think it was an affair at the time but I did after I met her and felt ashamed), and then in a messed up way to absolve myself I became her close friend and inserted myself into her life (and it turns out, I’m now one of her only friends). I need therapy, I’m aware.
So - now I ask, aita for ending a friendship started out of guilt, where I inserted myself inappropriately in the first place, and where I’m her only friend - simply because I don’t like how she treats me? I know I’m a hypocrite - but aita if I walk away and leave her alone and friendless after what I’ve done to her because of how she treats me now?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aoa6b7
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{
"description": "thinking a depressed girl is a asshole",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for thinking a depressed girl is a asshole?
|
So my friend (lets call him O) is somewhat a soy boy(white knight, honestly i forgot what they are called), is really protective of girls. He always sticks to their sides even if they are clearly in the wrong. He is a really close friend of mine.
There is this girl who is really depressed (lets call her T), she is always doing self harm to herself without seeking help. She is always cutting her arm, and she is showing it off at school like its something to be proud of, it gets so bad she even cuts her self DURING SCHOOL, she clearly has a mental problem, and everybody knows about it, she is only 12 (or 13 i don't really know her). Her friends tell her to get some help, and she never pays attention.
there is another kid who is really into fortnite (lets call him D), he is always talking about the new skins, game modes, guns, etc. And when he does start talking about the game he never shut ups.
​
Okay here is the story. We are in middle school, 2nd period (we have PE). When we get there, O starts arguing to D, for calling T a asshole. I get there and ask whats going on, O is mad because D called her a asshole (like i just said), and this might make her commit suicide, as soon as he said that i was dumb founded, how unstable must she be to commit suicide by just being called a asshole. I ask for D's side of the story. Heres how it goes:
He was minding his business. He was talking with a friend who is unimportant to the story, They were talking about new . fortnite skins. she comes up and hits him for no reason. D calls her a asshole and leaves. Apparently she gets butthurt over this, and then she tells her friends that D is a asshole, and she acts like a victim.
I ask D why would she hit him, and he says he doesn't know why, and then O comes in and says because he wont shut up about fortnite. I then later agree with D saying that T is a asshole, and theres no reason for her to hit D. O starts saying that she will commit suicide because of D, i start arguing with him saying that she needs help, She is not being bullied to the point of wanting to commit suicide, and instead she is the bully. Me and O start fighting and we forget about it the next day. I felt bad because i called a girl i don't know who has serious mental problems a asshole.
Everything went good, and i haven't heard anything else from T. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
wbbR0y1J05Lyqc5wPb9D8v4OBe0e74IK
|
apu26z
|
{
"description": "not trying to fix my relationship with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not trying to fix my relationship with my ex
|
I've been with my ex for a total of 3 years. The first was everything ok since we were going to the same university and living in the same city. After graduation i moved to another country to continue my masters and try to find a good job for our future. Because if i stayed we could not have a decent life together and we won't be able to get married.
As expected we started to have problems and her family pressured her to leave me. They liked me but the fact that i still need to study and it's not certain to find a job afterwards bothered them. To be honest in my opinion they were right to be concerned.
Since i was abroad i was alone and i have no friends nor family around and encountered many difficulties in my way. Despite that i kept most of my problems for me and didn't want to bother her or my family for that matter. On the other hand she was constantly complaining about how other couples enjoy themselves and living a good life but we are not and we're suffering.
Couple months in the second year she ignored me for two weeks (calls and messages) and afterwards she said she wanted to end the relationship but then realised that she can't . I gave our relationship a second chance and ignored that event. Afterwards she started not giving too much effort on contacting me and was responding every two days. Obviously i was mad and stated the fact that we need to talk everyday at least 10 minutes and it's absurd how she can't find 10 minutes in her day to talk to me, otherwise we'll going to drift apart.
She ignored that and told me the reason she doesn't talk to me often because if we talk we will get into a fight. That in mind she kept complaining about how she misses me and kept comparing us with other couples.
When things heated up she said it's better if we don't talk anymore untill i come back home and we discuss our situation and relationship.
At first i told her this will be the end of our relationship because 6 months without talking WILL impact the relationship and then i accepted.
She kept sending me messages time to time and i either ignored her or answered with a cold response. Untill one month before my flight she deleted me from social media and when i asked her about it she told me we were drifting apart and we both wanted this.
Until the point she deleted me i had good intentions of finding a solution and working on the relationship. I was just respecting her wishes of cutting the contact between us. After what happend with a cold heart i told her it's a shame that it ended like this and i wish her the best. For two or three months she kept sending me messages times to times and i just ansewered with only the necessary.
AITA for not calling her when i went back home and didn't try to meet her and try to find a solution or when i acted cold when she contacted me the period where we supposed to stay away.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
Gx2licezcWD0HrJc02ekEhmR5EYzSpVm
|
aod1ll
|
{
"description": "scheduling my wedding date for the same day as my adult niece's birthday",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if i schedule my wedding date for the same day as my adult niece's birthday
|
I plan on having a beach wedding sometime in june of next year. I really want to do it on the 21st, but its my oldest niece's birthday which is why im hesitant to do.
I asked my mom what her opinion on it was and she doesn't care one way or the other because my niece is an adult. By the the time my wedding rolls around she'll be 24 and nobody really does anything for her birthday anymore because she is an adult now.
For people who want to know why i want that specific date its because the 21st rolls off the toungt better and its more aesthetically pleasing to look at(to me anyways).
So i dont want to "steal her thunder" but at the same time i really want to be married on the 21st of June, so whats your verdict reddit?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
JwjmKMIQVvaaRGxjW2htJ4jbatNgW9Ei
|
avh838
|
{
"description": "refusing to have sex with my menstruating partner without a condom",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to have sex with my menstruating partner without a condom?
|
I don’t feel like I’m the asshole, but she’s overly upset about this to the point where she’s crying and refusing to talk to me.
No matter what I try to do she’s telling me that I make her feel gross and nasty, but I’m trying my best to assure her that’s not the case. I just don’t want blood all over. In the end, we ended up having sex without a condom anyway just to make her happy, but afterwards this is the aftermath.
We don’t argue all so often and we’ve been together for a good while this just strikes me as strange, and I feel absolutely terrible about this. Apologizing isn’t helping either. Am I as shitty as I’m feeling right now?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
yGekebo8VifvdePvHcYJtFkAWgZzlVEG
|
9vodbi
|
{
"description": "getting a tattoo that's similar to one that my sister wants",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for getting a tattoo that’s similar to one that my sister wants?
|
I’m studying abroad and a local tattoo artist posted a flash sheet of flower tattoos. I’ve always thought they were pretty and was thinking of getting one to commemorate my time here. When I told my sister, she said it wasn’t cool because she wanted something like that as well. This isn’t news to me, I knew she also wanted one, but I don’t see how my getting one detracts from her eventually getting one. Am I the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
E255hXo54xQ3oxrCQcPFgjfWdsW1Av1n
|
ar9aks
|
{
"description": "not returning my adopted dog when the family asked for it back",
"pronormative_score": 97,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not returning my adopted dog when the family asked for it back
|
TL;DR Last night I adopted a dog from a family and this morning they’re asking for it back
I have invested a lot of time and energy into the situation. I had to take a train to a remote location and rent a car to come back, take time off work, and puppy proof my entire home over the past few days. I even took more time off work to have time to bond with my new dog next week.
Speaking as an experienced dog owner the family does not seem prepared for dog ownership. They had the dog for 3 days before posting her for adoption. Three days! The dog was already exhibiting some poor eating and leash manners that I’ve begun to correct in our short time together.
The background is the father has the most experience with dogs but has a busy work schedule so the mom will be raising it mostly. The mom strikes me as inconsistent and manipulative. In talking to the father it was the moms idea to get the dog, then decide to post it for adoption, and now she wants to get the dog back.
The mom is being very emotionally bullying and saying her daughter can’t process the situation. Of course she can’t she’s too young. Why didn’t they think of that before making this decision as parents? Not only giving the dog up but getting it in the first place if they weren’t going to try for longer than 3 days to be parents to the dog! The inconsistency worries me most, what’s stopping them from just giving the dog back away to another family after this? Or worse, raising the dog in a bad environment. I understand their pain but I will experience a similar pain if I give the dog back up.
I already introduced the dog to my whole family last night and spent all night talking with friends about her, thinking of names, and preparing to give the dog a great life. I already feel bonding starting and I don’t want to give the dog back.
**UPDATE**
Thanks for all of the feedback folks! It helped me decide to 100% keep the dog.
[Puppy pics!](https://www.instagram.com/ms_yuki_shiba)
I told the mom my decision and she is still trying hard to get the dog back (appealing to similar emotions as before). I also started documenting the whole paper trail from exchanges, texts, posts, and transaction history (paid her a fee and then some for some of the doggy items she no longer wanted). Appreciate the advice!
The last thing I still need from her is some of the remaining dogs vet paperwork (didn’t get it upfront because the initial meetup was late at night and I didn’t expect the drama to follow and she said she’ll send them to me.. 100% my fault). Now she is being pretty bitter and demanding I give back some of the dog accessory stuff we didn’t agree on over text. I guess in the family’s haste they gave me extra food and doggy bags and things like that. I’m really over all of this so I offered to meet up and exchange this stuff for the papers. It sounds like that means they are getting a replacement dog? Hope they learn a lesson and treat that dog better!
Will continue updating if more happens but I think so far she’s accepted it unless she pulls something when we meet.
**UPDATE post meeting the family again**
Met the family again and it went about as I expected. The dad was apologetic and explaining the moms behavior away, and I got the certificates (ownership, vaccinations, ACA registration - yay!) and traded them the extra dog items.
Here’s where it got real though - they showed up with another dog! While they were texting me yesterday trying to get the dog back they were on their way back to the breeder to get another one! They then offered to trade me this new dog they got for my dog. I flat out said hell no, and they pushed hard asking why I didn’t even want to look at it, how could I do this, water works etc. I calmly explained their mistakes back to them, wished them luck with the new dog, and left.
I truly hope the family learned a lesson about how painful it was for them (or maybe just their daughter?) to lose one dog so they don’t do it again. I hope they appreciate the new dog and give him a good life. I hope the dad learns to handle the mom better and have a big part in the dogs life.
So I think I can call this chapter closed. Now it’s back to puppy training! Thanks reddit!
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
271UeT0tlTbf9LOm26PkGQdEUeIeIZeh
|
apdny9
|
{
"description": "telling my dog 'no car ride' right after getting him hyped up by saying 'go for a car ride?'",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for telling my dog 'no car ride' right after getting him hyped up by saying 'go for a car ride?'
|
It's late at night and I wanted to go out to Timmies for a coffee. I figured I'd take my dog with me for something for him to do so I told him we were going for a car ride. He got really excited and sat in front of the door waiting for me to take him outside to the car.
I grabbed him by the collar and walked him out, but I didn't know that it had started to snow not too long ago and the instant I stepped outside I slipped on the ice and fell on my ass. Still, I got up still holding him and we walked to the car. I was about to open the door for him until I looked at the road and saw that it was covered in light snow.
I suddenly decided I didn't want to have to deal with driving in fresh snow while also having a big dog in the car so I would just drive out to Timmies myself and leave my dog at home. I looked at Brutus and said 'no. No car ride.' And he immediately looked disappointed as we started to head back inside.
As I let him inside the house and closed the door, I looked through the window and him and he stared back at me but in a way that looked like he was expecting me to take him back out there any second for the promised car ride. I said 'no car ride' one more time and started walking to me car. I could hear him whining on the other side of the door.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
EVp2kxzmfH4qghwhFsS8VQbMsZFQ0QSP
|
a6johi
|
{
"description": "not replacing my roommates items with upgraded versions",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not replacing my roommates items with upgraded versions? -
|
So, for backstory, our roommate has very rarely been here since the first few weeks of August. During those first few weeks she adopted a cat from someone a few hours away who was abusing him. When he arrived at our house he was covered in mats and terrified. In this same week, RM's boyfriend got a house and she suddenly stopped being home for days at a time.
The cat pissed in one of her chairs, and one of our chairs within the first few days. My girlfriend and I dealt with it. Just continued to feed him and took it upon ourselves to shave him. He was much happier after that, but honestly still hated people. We told RM if we were going to take care of the cat all year, we should take the cat with us at the end of lease. She agreed to this.
In October, shortly after our boyfriend moved in, we realized the cat had peed on her futon. We threw about the pad, but I remembered her saying something about finding this on the side of the road, and the pad was already semi-gross so we kept it covered when we used it (broke college students amiright). We threw it out and started searching for a new used one. After I week, I gave in and texted her I was just going to buy a new futon pad for the frame so we would have something to sit on instead of an empty frame as the center piece of a living room. I ended up spending $200 on the pad for a new quality one.
After about another month, we are trying new techniques to help get the cat to get along with our other cats. This seemed to piss him off, and he decided to piss right on the center of our mattress. GREAT! So we throw it away, and decide that we should probably check our roommates bed since she leaves her door open when she leaves. We find that he seemed to have been pissing on it for awhile now, and the entire bottom half of her mattress pad (\~$57) was covered and her comforter (\~$20 & a few years old). We threw it away for her, since the smell was unbearable. We texted her and let her know what had happened, and RM immediately texted back links of a $170 dollar mattress pad and $80 extra plush comforter... We refused to buy those things since clearly we don't have that money to drop out of nowhere for upgrades of what was really her cats damages.. She says that isn't fair that we are picking and choosing what we will and not replace based on whats convenient for us, which we respond we don't understand what shes talking about, we haven't replaced anything for her to have. She freaks out, comes home and gather some of her things, and says after December she is moving in with her boyfriend. We had been expecting this for awhile so it was fine by us. She also got mad that we threw her things away, and since we had bagged them we went down to the dumpster and pulled it back out and put it in her room. We also decided to move our futon pad onto our boxspring since we can't currently afford a nice mattress, so it will do for now.
RM came home a week later and acted weirdly nice.. it put me on edge. The first thing she asked me was where the futon pad was, which I replied we were sleeping on it for now. RM said she agreed that the mattress pad that we put back in her room was too ruined and so was the blanket, but for some reason only threw the blanket away. She didn't really grab anything, just left and said she had to run errands.
I told my girlfriend and boyfriend that we should put a lock on our bedroom door, since we tend to keep our money in cash and have other valuables. We do it immediately after I recommended it. Very shortly after we get a text asking why we locked her mattress pad in our room. We were home at the time, and didn't know she had even been home, and so were very off-put that she would let herself in our room. Especially since I have heard her tell stories of stealing from people who she feels like owes her.
Suddenly, after refusing to answer our text about when she will be by to get her stuff, RM shows up at 7am with her boyfriend and 2 strangers. They are throwing things around and generally treating my home and belongings with disrespect. They leave the door wide open while doing this, even though we have 2 cats now (we got rid of the one that destroyed our mattress - sorry kitty). I don't want to bother them so we all leave ourselves locked in our room. Suddenly she pounds on the door, and I come out and she tells me shes going to call the cops if I don't give her the futon pad. I explain calmly that I have a receipt, so she can call the cops but they aren't going to do anything. I attempted offer to help buy her a new used one, but she insisted she needed the brand new one we are currently sleeping on. I give up and go back in my room.
About ten minutes later the cops come. I show them the receipt and tell them whats going on. They stay there until she gathers her stuff. In the meantime I realize my cat has went missing and EA and those she was with snickered while we walked around searching for her. She eventually got her stuff all out, but she was pissed when the cops told her the futon pad wasn't hers and she wasn't allowed back on the property.
We found the cat terrified in the back of the cabinet. All the people slamming stuff around spooked her. What an eventful morning.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
5ZCtimRv5dmSBcvkLOWq7j0EOSgIQQeO
|
affd4z
|
{
"description": "kicking out my girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for kicking out my girlfriend?
|
So my girlfriend (27) and I (26) have been dating for nearly three years. We met in grad school (studying classical music) and have both since graduated. I’m from the US and she’s from an Asian country. We’re living together in a major US city. As my GF isn’t from the US she’s been here on a student visa (which is about to expire, but she just got another 1-year visa approved, though it limits her work to teaching music and performing).
I graduated before she moved in with me and managed to get three jobs that provided me with enough income and spare time to continue to work on my skills as a musician, live comfortably, and even save a little money, when only taking care of myself. I was living in a three BR apartment that cost $1000/room with utilities when my GF moved into my room rent free (this was January 2018). She had just graduated from her program and had basically no income. She made it seem like she would find work soon and eventually we would split the cost and each only have to pay $500/month.
My GF had one teaching job for one day a week at a poorly-funded community-oriented music school an hour and a half away, where the pay wasn’t great and it was often one to two months late because the school has such funding issues. After a few months her piano teacher gave her a temporary job at our grad school that paid well enough. When that job was up she had the option to apply to a permanent position there, but she decided not to because she didn’t like the work environment (not that she had any other job prospects).
Now it’s been a year since she graduated, we moved into a more expensive 2br apartment a few months ago (so I could fit my piano) at $2250/month, and she still isn’t paying rent. We talked before moving and she said she was going to pay for utilities, help find a roommate, and hopefully even start paying some rent, but hasn’t/didn’t. I ended up finding our current roommate after not having one for 3 months.
She’s always complained that it wasn’t the right time to apply for jobs, only uses one web-resource to search for them, and passively refuses to ask her connections in the music world if they have any leads on jobs because they would never do that in her home country. As we approached last fall she stopped applying for jobs to work on her next visa. She hired a company to help with the application and even with their help she started too late. Now she’s needed to borrow $710 from me in order to expedite her application.
There are likely a lot of mental health things going on. GF comes from an emotionally abusive family that made her feel like she wasn’t capable of doing anything and never let her be in a position of real responsibility. She’s come a long way in dealing with her anxiety, but when family contacts her or deadlines approach she often shuts down for a few days and sleeps a lot(10-12 hours)/avoids work.
We were working on getting her a therapist but then waited because we read about a change in USCIS policy where people receiving federal aid (she’s on subsidized healthcare) might have their applications rejected.
I’ve tried to be supportive and avoid things that seem to trigger GF’s anxiety/other things in order to help make work as easy as possible for her. But, aside from this stuff I’m beginning to get the impression that we have differing senses of what hard work means.
I get up early and work until sometimes 9-10pm, whereas GF gets up aroudn 10:30am most days and is often lounging at home playing my switch by 5pm. She also has developed a habit of buying things to craft with when she’s stressed even though she has no money.
I’ve tried talking to her about how supporting her is affecting me and she got really defensive and upset that I thought she could be working harder.
Moving into this more expensive apartment was a huge financial burden on me, and I only did it because I thought I would get help from GF finding a roommate. Paying for this apartment, both our food, and some of GF’s visa stuff has brought me from having several thousand in savings to nearly nothing. I’m getting the feeling that she’s getting comfortable with not having to work her butt off and isn’t going to work to support herself unless she’s forced to, considering seeing me deplete my savings for her hasn’t changed anything.
Now that her new visa is approved I’m planning on telling her that she needs to be paying rent within six months and that I won’t help with her future visa apps. The burden of supporting her and myself has brought on a lot of anxiety for me and isn’t feasible in the long term.
I don’t know if I’m missing something here or if I’m contributing to the bad situation somehow...
TL;DR: Girlfriend has had difficulty getting jobs for a year. Supporting her financially has blown my whole savings. I’m planning on telling her she needs to pay rent in 6 months or else I’m kicking her out.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
OI8tACrGclOmxpfNWe99D3dDTN2nGlRi
|
an85rv
|
{
"description": "telling my husband we should divorce if I didn't mean it",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for telling my husband we should divorce if I didn’t mean it?
|
I have 9 month old twins who I love dearly. I have a husband who I love very much.
BACKGROUND: (sorry this ended up being super long)
I have a large sex drive, with some light fetishes. My husband has always been much more vanilla than me, but that’s fine, I could deal because the quality and quantity. When we first started dating, our sex life was very active, but over the years it’s slowly dropped off. He’s gained a good bit of weight, especially since we got married, and I think his sex drive has suffered because of it. I’m lucky if we have sex once every two months.
I have always been slightly chubby. I was when my husband and I were dating, and when we got married. I’ve always been about 15lbs over my “ideal” weight. Before getting pregnant, I had finally gotten that pesky 15 off, and hit my goal weight, through obsessive calorie counting and a few unhealthy eating habits.
However, when I was pregnant, I gained a LOT of weight. I was on bed rest (due to twins), and couldn’t do any exercise. I went from 125 to 200lbs by the time I gave birth at 39 weeks. Ugh.
I’ve been struggling to lose the weight back over the last nine months. I’m down to 155 (about 30lbs over) but I’ve just been...stuck here. I can’t mentally make myself calorie count, I’m so depressed and all my mental energy goes into the babies and stress at work. I’m trying to eat a keto ish diet given to me by my doctor, but I stress eat, and I’m stressed all the time now. I’ve even started smoking secret cigarettes - I “quit” ten years ago.
I also feel awful about my post-babies body. My stomach stretched so much I have this gross skin flap on the front now. I can’t look at myself naked.
So it’s no wonder that my husband and I haven’t been having sex. I try to initiate one or two times a week, and always get turned down. We’ve had sex once in the last year. He couldn’t have sex with me once my stomach was big enough to tell, and now he never feels like it. This has been a huge hit to my self esteem. It fucking sucks when you try to get all up on your husband and he brushes you off. When we were dating, I even got “dressed up” and he laughed at me and told me I looked ridiculous.
I got really upset with him last night, after he turned me down again. He finally admitted that he’s not attracted to my body and my skin flap anymore (can’t really blame him there). And on top of that, he feels weird having sex with me because I’m his children’s mom, and the one time we did have sex, all he could think about was me being their mom and it grossed him out.
I got pretty upset by this, so I shouted (I think it was more of a loud emotional talking) at him “well if we’re never going to fuck again then we might as well get divorced because I can’t handle a sexless marriage.”
He stormed out after literally calling me an asshole, and we haven’t really talked today.
The thing is, I DONT want to divorce him. I don’t want to live in a sexless marriage, but really I just want my husband back. The one who finds me attractive and can’t keep his hands off me. I don’t really think I’d divorce him over it, just be really sad and depressed and have a shit self image.
What I honestly want him to do is exercise and lose weight and get his energy back, but we’ve had a thousand conversations about it and the lack of sex and how it’s affecting me, and he apologizes and then never does anything. I tried to get him to calorie count and lose weight with me when I did, but he just snuck food, and always had excuses why he couldn’t exercise. He says he’s not depressed, and won’t take any medicine. I know for a fact he’s ADD, but he won’t take medicine for that either.
I’ve been feeling like shit over what I said to him all day, and I’m not sure if I’m being the asshole here or just overwhelmed and insensitive. I’m just sick of not feeling loved in my marriage, but don’t actually want a divorce.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
EqsIftbCnBKqWFMi8h2YGQnHSHcRUEAc
|
a9xtsl
|
{
"description": "wanting an active sexual relationship",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting an active sexual relationship?
|
My [M 25] wife [F 30] hasn't had sex with me since the start of the year, and even then if was terrible sex and I could tell she wasn't into it.
We used to have an amazing sex life and were heavy into the BDSM scene, and would have play sessions once or twice a week.
But our relationship hit a rough patch in 2017, starting with my working hours increasing a crazy amout for nearly a month. I was working 15 to 16 hour days at the peak. Needless to say, I was waaaay to tired to participate in our normally weekly sessions, or even just pull off a quicky for the majority of the month.
She did not take it well.
However as 2017 came to a close our rough patch ended, and our emotionally relationship was seemingly mended, however our sex life never really picked back up. I assumed it would return in time, and figured I'd let things resume naturally.
It never did. So fast forward to now, I've been forced into the sexual lifestyle of a middle ages Monk, and I've been getting more and more upset and impatient with the situation. I started to verbally press the sex issue 3 months ago (where as before I'd try to initiate with back rubs, lotion, soft kisses, and whatnot.) basically I told her the lack of sex was bothering me. She told me that I'm a hypocrite because I didn't have sex with her for that month last year.
We have now had a couple arguments about it, and its starting to harm our emotionally relationship.
She says she loves me, and I still love her, and I understand that my wife doesn't "owe" me sex just because we are married, but I'm in the best shape I'll ever be in, and the prime of my sexual life. I feel like its being wasted.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
BBzPZaQQ5XCgsSp6xS4h5YPaorx9EsKD
|
abmdwi
| null |
WIBTA if I cut it off with this girl I kinda led on?
|
A few months ago, I started my first semester of college. Naturally, I wanted to meet new people and branch out of my high school circle. So for extra help in my quest to find new friends, I downloaded Tinder and matched with a girl who just so happened to live on the same dormitory hall as me. We hit it off nicely, however, her romantic intentions became excruciatingly more noticeable within days of meeting her. I guess that was to be expected of Tinder, but she specifically said if "we could be friends lol?", so this had me off guard.
She flirted, I flirted back. I guess I got a bit touchy and close, but I never thought anyone would have thought anything more. After all, it was way too early to even tell if I liked her or not; I had barely met her a few days before and she was already talking about relationship and sending me explicit photos. I didn't even have enough time to make a decision whether or not I really liked this girl. By the time I figured out she might have caught the wrong ideas, I go and talk to her. I tell her I'm not ready for a committed relationship and I want to properly survive college before I can even think about dating. I think where I fucked up was when I ended up on fondling her because I said I'd be down to hookup. We didn't smash, at least. But I think it gave her some misguided hope.
So the next day, she sends me a huge three paragraph, times new roman, MLA-cited essay about how she feels about me and hold sex for if we ever get together. That's when I cut it off, I told her that she was way too attached to me. I had only met her the week before and she was already obsessive, thinking about relationships. I had a gut-wrenching instinct about this encroaching attachment that I just got frustrated and broke it off briskly. I told her that my school work is more important than this juvenile relationship drama. I didn't want to be friends at all. I believed I wasn't being true to myself if I continued being friends with her.
so tl;dr: I met a girl, diddled with her, and then broke it off a week later because she was way too attached.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
BuJeJb4jC0lOyw1B4yXIZAniQPdwOjXT
|
ak7fdy
|
{
"description": "leaving my best friends house after they tell me their ex is coming",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For leaving my best friends house after they tell me their ex is coming
|
Just some background me(M20) and her(F21) Ill call her L. We've been best friends for 2 years to the point that we hung out everyday, we both suffer from demons as Ive struggled with treatment resistant depression and anxiety my whole life and shes struggled with Anorexia,PTSD, Bipolar disorder, depression, and anxiety. We were both at healthier points of our lives when we met and draw healthy boundries when it comes to our mental illnesses affecting each other, we've always had open communication and been honest about everything.
About 10 months ago L got in a relationship with this girl she met on tinder. They were happy for a month until L's girlfriend started fucking around and decided to "break up" with L because she wanted to be single. Over the next 9 months this girl remains a constant part of L's life and becomes extremely manipulative (gaslighting L, blocking L when they fought, making L feel like it was her fault they werent together) It caused L to spiral, her anorexia flared up in full force, she began lying to me about her eating habits and purging until around November when she finally realized she needed help and admitted everything to me and I was super supportive and told her id be there for her no matter what. L tried cutting her ex out of her life but refused to block her entirely because her ex also had an eating disorder and L felt she needed to be there for her. She was doing really well and the only social media she had of her ex was on tumblr until a few weeks ago, her ex posted on tumblr saying she cut herself because everyone leaves her, so L immediately feels she needs to reach out to her ex. This is when the troubles started, L knew I wouldnt be happy and began shutting me out telling me they only talk when her ex is having a hard time but it turns out theyve been having regular conversation daily.
​
Cut to today L tells me shes dog sitting a mutual friends house tonight and we should sleep there. Then later she tells me tomorrow shes going to have a lady friend over so I should leave and give her privacy. I ask her who is it and she tells me dont worry about it so I straight up ask her "is it your ex" and she says "no no no never." A few hours go by and we get to the house, we decide on pizza for dinner and she decides she wants to go to the liquor store, she comes back from the store and says while half-heartily laughing "hey so i lied to you before someone coming over tonight so I got them beer" I ask "who is it" no answer "L whos coming" she responds "ex is coming Im going to get laid dont make a big deal out of it" so I tell her "Im just letting you know I just dont even want to hang out with her so if you could tell me when shes close Id appreciate it, Im sorry if you think Im making a big deal out of this like I understand you want to have sex but, your my best friend and she hurt you so much for so long that I cant just shake my extremely negative feelings towards her, so Im going to have to excuse myself, Im also really annoyed that you lied to me and feel like you need to hide things from me but whatever youre going to do what you want, I hope you have a good night and enjoy yourself Ive just had a really shitty day mentally and Id like to remove myself before it gets worse." she begins to get really annoyed "whatever just leave then like why do you care its none of your business she hurt me but I want to have sex and I know what Im doing this is my life and if you dont want to be here then leave honestly youre being so dramatic just leave." so I get up and leave. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
jBajvp8kfPeNwzvMSVCMK94kfmuPukZ1
|
a905g8
|
{
"description": "having all these guys ticketed but not actually doing anything",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for having all these guys ticketed but not actually doing anything?
|
I live in a rapidly growing neighbourhood in my town, and while it's not the nicest, it's safe and I've lived here all my life. Recently, however, everyone's been at their wit's end about some apartment construction nearby. It's taken months, but it seems like the only work being done is the production of noise pollution and dust. I'm sure all of these guys are just doing what their company tells them to, but the main issue is that they park in front of OUR homes to work on a building we'll never benefit from. Even worse, they take up so much space that we have to take blind turns onto relatively busy roads. While I was aware these guys were probably making minimum wage, I was fed up. I called the relevant authorities, and, sure enough, the next day, almost every single car was ticketed. And these weren't 'nice' tickets, either, I considered them pretty outrageously expensive, and I probably make almost twice as much as those guys. I don't know if their company is handling the tickets, or if they have to pay for them out of their own pockets. They still park there as if nothing happened, and the police can't be bothered to show up again and repeat the process.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
6PfkVnD9ABeVbcc7u5Svdh3FRaiGutSu
|
b8oi4k
|
{
"description": "responding with \"Lol\" and \"Nice\" to some of my girlfriend's text messages",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 30
}
|
AITA for responding with “Lol” and “Nice” to SOME of my girlfriend’s text messages?
|
I work a pretty demanding job. I’m not usually able to text at work, and so I’ll respond/read all of my texts once I’m done. The thing is, I’m usually pretty tired after work and don’t feel like having long texting conversations. I’ll usually send a couple of “Lol” and “Nice” text messages so that everyone knows I received it and wasn’t just ignoring it.
The problem is, sometimes I’m so tired that I miss a couple of things when reading the messages. Sometimes my girlfriend will text me with a question and I’ll accidentslly respond with “Lol”. This normally isn’t a big deal and she’ll just repeat the question again after, but lately she’s starting to notice the pattern. One time I responded similarly and she said “did you even read what I wrote?” and just last night I did it again and she responded “okay, I’m just going to just stop asking you anything because it’s clear to me that you don’t read anything I send you”. She’s been distant since, but I really don’t see it as a big deal. I’m tired and mistakes happen. AITA for this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
xhvBYXzvzR87M7XFZacMwx0SB35oSGd5
|
avt6l8
|
{
"description": "not lifting things for women as a man",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not lifting things for women as a man?
|
I know, I know, similar to another post today, but this is slightly different.
​
My whole life I've felt weird about helping anyone if my help isn't being solicited. I don't have a problem helping if I'm asked and will even offer to help someone if I see them struggling with something because I recognize that asking for help explicitly can be embarrassing or whatever. But what makes me really uncomfortable is being expected to run ahead of women and pick up something like a suitcase for them without being asked. Growing up, my mom always made a point to say, "halfeatendanish, go help that woman and pick up her luggage!" if she noticed I wasn't jumping on it immediately. I've always felt weird about jumping in like that without even being asked. It feels like I'm saying, "Step aside, weak woman! Allow a strong man to do the job for you!" It feels insulting! Like I said, I have no problem helping out if I'm asked, but my mom has always made me feel guilty for not wanting to throw myself in there. Is she right? Should I feel guilty for not doing this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
YaFp378iPw9lkjDvKYrW6tROxpEPwt07
|
axjg5c
|
{
"description": "wanting to know about my SO's sexual past and judging him about it",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for wanting to know about my SO's sexual past and judging him about it?
|
Not really sure how to start this. A lot of words coming, I apologize if it's incoherent. But if only one single person can read through this mess and tell me if ITA that's all I need.
Right now I am in a relationship I always dreamed about.
We love, trust, appreciate each other really deeply and the sex is a very important part for both of us. Although we both had partners before, it's pretty clear nothing from befor our time comes even close to what we have now.
I hear all the time how this is "The best sex I ever had". Or how with many many things we do "I have never done anything like this, I never thought I could like something like this!"
The thing I enjoy most is oral. And my SO always told me that he only does oral when he's in a relationship and that he needs to trust someone to even try oral.
Since I have low self esteem (from absuing relationships beforehand) this really made me feel special and connect to him on an even deeper level.
A few months into the relationship I was at the doctor and during the check I was told that I had an STD (nothing huge or dangerous, just a minor bacteria). So I talked to my SO how this could have happened since we don't know who got it first.
I had unprotected sex once and SO told me he always protected except once when he got STD. That STD was treated though and he never had unprotected sex since.
I'm very attentive when someone tells me stories so a few months later (after we got rid of our bacteria) I noticed inconsistencies with his story and after confronting him he told me that he never really protected. He had oral sex multiple times.
This destroyed me internally since I don't feel special at all and it seems as this relationship is not as exceptional as I used to believe.
My reaction was that I wanted to know everything else hat he falsely has stamped "never done before" or "this is my first time".
We had multiple big fights over the details I asked and I feel a little bit betrayed by him; even if it's silly and I know there's no reason to be jealous since our relationship is so amazing. His past was before me and that's fine. What hurt me is how he felt the need to lie about those things and create a relationship in my head that is partially artificial. He said that he regretted every partner he had before and I believe him. I know how he was used, lied to and treated like shit by everyone he slept with. That's why he told the stories because he regretted it so much he wanted me to be his first.
For me there's a difference between "This is amazing, I have never enjoyed myself like this" and "This is my first time doing this, I need a lot of trust to do this thing."
Now I really don't know if I am the asshole for digging up his past and making him go through those unpleasant memories again. But I feel so betrayed because he didn't have to lie and just could have said nothing instead of creating lies.
Thanks to anyone who sat through this and I appreciate your thoughts.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
64l3ErIHlfpa8xghx9F3eIaQW3hrsxse
|
arf14j
|
{
"description": "paying for my birthday dinner",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA : Paying for my birthday dinner
|
A little one that's bugged me for a while.
I usually celebrate my birthday with volunteering.
A coworker I was romantically involved with for a short while wanted to know if I wanted to get together for my birthday a few years so, while we worked together still. We had been broken up for about 8 months. She and I both wanted to be friends, and I genuinely do enjoy her conversation at times.
So thinking she wanted to take me out on my birthday, I book dinner at fancy place. She told me to go nuts with reservation.
We get together, dinner wraps up, lots of alcohol. Bill is big. I'm thinking we'll split it bc I'm not that much of a jerk. She indicates she can't afford it, she'll leave the tip. I pay a bunch for us both. I do not recall if she left a tip. She drove me home.
This was years ago. There was no discussion about who pays; I thought it customary to be taken out on birthday at no expense or someplace nice that the person paying could afford - if anyone offers to take you out on your birthday at all.
I was annoyed and feel I had a right to be, but clearly I made assumptions.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
P8jOMThXB9jeO408y93gQxN9ueSbf6sK
|
ba03wa
|
{
"description": "being pissed about my girlfriend coming home absolutely wasted",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being pissed about my girlfriend coming home absolutely wasted?
|
I had work tonight, but my girlfriend and I had plans to spend some time together when I got home. I work weekends and she doesn’t, so it’s normal for us to take any time together that we can.
She’s got this habit of not knowing when enough alcohol is enough. She ends up sick, stumbling around, passing out on the bathroom floor after throwing her guts up. I hate it. I can’t explain why, but I do.
I’m always careful about how much I drink and how I handle myself when intoxicated. She just keeps drinking until she hits the floor, then I have to make sure she’s drinking water, I have to make sure she didn’t hit her head on the bathroom toilet, I have to take off her clothes and get her in bed.
Anyway, she texts me while I’m working that she’s going out to a bar with friends. I’m totally fine with this, I even encouraged her to. About an hour later, she texts me drunk as fuck, telling me all about how she had three strong mixed drinks and shots of this and that.
My day at work ended up shit, and I basically came home to an empty apartment and cried, out of frustration and loneliness and stress. She stumbles in half an hour later, practically being held up by her coworker. She’s so wasted she can’t even open the bathroom door by herself.
She just kinda got into bed and passed out. She did ask me if I was mad, I told her no because she was too drunk to handle an argument. This is the fourth or fifth time we’ve been through this since we’ve been together, and every time she says she’s not going to do it anymore.
AITA for being mad?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
78VkatAJtx3QDZhD7bPpM9xWQp0ISKdK
|
a8f269
|
{
"description": "making my sister cry",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for making my sister cry?
|
A bit of context, a few months ago my sister gave me around 90€ to buy a ticket for a concert with the promise that I would give her these 90€ back in vouchers for books. Thing is the vouchers are electronical and you need a code that is sent to my phone each time which requires to be logged in with my card's credential and so on, in short I needed to be there for her to use them.
Today after ten months of silence she came to me pretending to spend her money and order some books, so I told her to do everything and once I'd have the code I'd tell her. She said she didn't know how to and so I told her to "Just Google it".
Now it's when things start to get heated.
She starts saying stuff along the lines of "You HAVE to help me. I don't understand Google." so I told her that I only have to give her the code, nothing more than that. That's when my mother came in saying stuff like "Ffs help your sister.", and at this point I just wanted to get this over with (not gonna lie from this point on everything I say will be in a pretty aggressive way). I gave her the step by step process and she managed to get me the code but I had forgotten my card's pin (not the actual card's pin just the one needed for the app) so I said "Give me some time." and I went through the process of recovery. While I was doing this my mom decided I wasn't fast enough, came to check what I was doing and asked how long will it take to which my sister replyed "He's playing, he doesn't care." so I told them both to fuck off because that bothered me.
-Note: I was already angry because of other problems, that's why I was so susceptible and they knew.
They shouted stuff a bit, my sister did a few things just to bother me and then they left. Once I recovered my pin I told them that, if they wanted, I was ready, but for whatever reason now my sister was mad, so my mother got mad at me cause of that. What followed was just me and my mother arguing for a good half an hour, me getting thrown out and my sister crying, I guess because of our arguing.
Hopefully it's not too much of a mess, also sorry for any grammatical errors but this just happened and I'm cold and salty.
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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cF3bpDvcFtJOgArc5X2rCKDwourFoUKA
|
avmafv
|
{
"description": "not speaking to my father and his fiancée",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not speaking to my (20F) father (40M) and his fiancée (35F)?
|
My father and I have always had a strained relationship. I am the only child and my parents split when I was little, so it was normal for me to have two homes. I lived with my mum majority of the time and saw my father every second weekend.
It’s been going on for a while where I would plead with mum to not take me to my father’s house. I was 12 when I first asked to take me home instead because I didn’t want to go. There’s so many reasons to list why, but in summary; he picked on my weight - subtle digs here and there, roll his eyes whenever I said something and never made me feel appreciated or loved. I’ve never heard him say that he was proud of me despite my achievements. There’s so many more things to go on about, like how he didn’t come to important events in my life, like my 18th birthday, or how he would prevent my mum from swapping weekends around so I could spend time with family.
My father got into a relationship with his now fiancée 3 years ago. About 10 months ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. She underwent surgery and the cancer was removed. She’s in the process of radiation treatment now and is slowly getting better.
Last time I saw them, we went into the city and it was fine. He made some horrible remarks about how much money he makes which made the day turn sour. Like I mentioned before, his fiancée is currently undergoing treatment for her cancer and so she has had to have some time off work up until recently. He made a ‘joke’ about how he “makes more money at home on the couch than she does at work” and how he has “been holding up this family.” This made me so angry because he has never provided for me and he was belittling his fiancée. My father never offered to pay for my books for high school or uniforms. My mother supported me to get to where I am now by herself. The only time he would pay for anything was when she begged him to. My mum is a single parent, who up to very recently had a small income that only went to the necessities and she really struggled with anything else. So, it’s fair to say that I didn’t see much support from him.
I decided to stop speaking to him from that moment forward. I had removed him from Facebook and haven’t had any contact with him since I saw him in January. Monday just gone, I had gotten a phone call around 9:30pm from his fiancée. I was an emotional wreck, talking about my father the last few months has been a major trigger point for me and causes panic attacks and breakdowns. It’s not pretty. She told me that her cancer has a high likelihood of coming back and that she has a 6% chance of survival on the next 5 years.
After that call, I was in hysterics. I had to explain to her why I didn’t want to see them because of my father and I was just told she may not be here in 5 years time.
tl;dr: My father made my life hell, I cut him off, I found out my step mum has a small chance of living in the next 5 years after speaking to them for the first time in 2 months.
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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GZFuW7b6YMDQYSGrsQOH08SFI60iEN4O
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b6autj
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{
"description": "wanting my tip back",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting my tip back?
|
I get my dog groomed every two months. I'll always specify what I want done as they charge by the service. Sometimes I'll cut her hair myself but want them to do her nails, sometimes I want them to do both, and sometimes just a haircut. The pricing is something like $35 for a cut, $10 for a nail clip, $5 for a wash, pretty good prices no one could complain about.
I always tip $5 or so, doesn't matter what she does. She's an independent worker and it takes only about 30 minutes. She doesn't need to divide her tip with anyone or a company. I think it's fair and she has refused tips many times but I make sure she takes it.
Today was her latest appointment. I wanted her hair cut only. I paid the $35 in advance and tipped her $10 in a rare case for me. I leave and do errands for 30 minutes and come back. Not only did she cut her hair, but also her nails and gave her a wash. I owed her $15 extra, she claimed.
I told her it was unprofessional to do something I didn't ask for and then charge me for it, and I didn't like the idea. I gave her $5 and said I gave her $10 extra previously. She said it was a tip (and it was), but I decided she wouldn't get a tip at all at this point and it would partially cover the extra work she did.
I'm now blacklisted by this specific groomer and undoubtedly any of her friends who also happen to be groomers. AITA for essentially taking my tip back?
tl;dr: paid for a dog hair cut and gave a tip in advance. Groomer did extra work I didn't ask for and billed me. Told her to take the tip I gave her to pay for it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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CALqgeJg3c3DH47cWafpIKf5cZ5CT4Bw
|
ar57m8
|
{
"description": "breaking up with this guy and still being angry",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for breaking up with this guy and still being angry?
|
this was awhile ago, but i can't help still feeling kinda bad about the way we broke things off. yes, they were manipulative to me for the short duration of our relationship (3 weeks on the dot), but i also actively avoided spending time with them. i was in a really rough spot and shouldn't have gotten into the relationship in the first place. they mostly liked me because i was willing to sext them, which their last boyfriend wouldn't do. but that's not the real point.
basically, i sent screenshots of multiple text conversations the two of us had to my best friend, who told me they were manipulating me. rereading them, i agreed. i ghosted them for awhile, which made them (understandably) very upset. when i finally texted them back and explained why i wanted to break up, they "didn't understand" but accepted my decision. even though *i* was the one who broke it off, i'm still angry about it? i don't still have feelings for them, but i can't let go of my anger for the way they treated me.
however, you must also consider that i put NOTHING into the relationship. i texted them and we'd spend some time together, but they were too needy and i was too closed off. i ignored them most of the time that they asked to do shit with me, usually because i was drained.
so am i the asshole? are they the asshole? are we both assholes? i don't know anymore. i really shouldn't still be dwelling on this, but i can't stop and i need an unbiased opinion (aka Not My Best Friend's Opinion).
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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S1CJ0B7SKwhNQLRZE57wsG08LbMi4Qgj
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b8si44
|
{
"description": "ignoring an e-mail apology from the girl who's been hitting on my partner in front of me",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I ignore an e-mail apology from the girl who's been hitting on my partner in front of me?
|
If anyone wants the (also long) prologue to this post, it is the only other post I have made with this account. FWIW everyone in this situation is 30+.
Long story short, an acquaintance of my partner's and mine I'll call "Brittany" had been overtly hitting on him, even in front of me.
I expressed my reservations about the situation to my partner. He initially didn't understand where I was coming from, but once I took us out of the equation and asked "If I genuinely wanted to make friends with Jen (a mutual female friend of ours) and acted that way towards Jen's boyfriend in front of Jen, how do you think she might feel about it? Would that be a good way to start a friendship with Jen if being her friend was my primary motive?" it landed.
Apparently my partner then talked to Brittany on a game night I couldn't attend in an attempt to establish some boundaries. I know this not because he told me, but because I received a lengthy email from Brittany a few days later.
She framed it like an apology and ostensibly a request to make friends going forward, and she did share a lot of fairly personal details about herself on which she essentially blamed her actions, but there were parts of it that felt - for lack of a better way to put it - a little passive-aggressive. Things like her claiming that she did flirt with him but stopped as soon as she realized we were a couple (untrue). Things like "Your partner had great things to say about your looks and abilities," implying NOT ONLY that they discussed these things (my partner is adamant that they didn't) but that my relationship with him somehow needs Brittany's stamp of approval now that she's realized she isn't getting in the middle of it.
Between that and the fact she only expressed a willingness to tone down her behavior after being directly called out on it by him, I'm hesitant to believe that her message comes from anywhere genuine.
WIBTA if I totally ignore all 12-ish paragraphs of her "apology" and continue to keep her at arm's length going forward?
I talked to my partner and he supports that course of action, but I'd like a broader perspective since I'm still likely to run into Brittany at practices and games and she may or may not choose to start discussing the situation with our mutual friends, a la "ProfanePsittacine isn't accepting my heartfelt apology for a misunderstanding between us." She has now begun liking and commenting on everything I post to social media, so I'm definitely going to *look* like the asshole to all our friends if I continue to keep my distance.
TL;DR: want to know if I am obligated to accept an apology from, and bury the hatchet with, someone who is now being nice to me on the surface after a call-out but whom I still have a bad gut feeling about.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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FqGdYvNkBBFqp9nRm8Z6krt4R4p7yRZa
|
b7l0ul
| null |
AITA: Death threats at eachother
|
First post, sorry. Bit of background on me: I'm 12 M go to a K-12 school in Canada. 5'9 (yes I know I'm tall), and think of myself as at least a decent person.
​
This one I think I'm in the right. It's a Friday on the bus home. Some kids that had been bothering me (who we'll call Blake (Grade 4 student) and Chris (Grade 6), not real names) are bothering me again for the 3rd time this week. It heated up fast. Not sure of the exact words but it goes something like this.
​
Chris: James I'd want to push you off a bridge (Blake starts laughing a bit)
​
Me: Well then I'd want to drive you off one.
​
Chris: I think everyone would be happier if you were dead.
​
Me: (Pauses for a moment pretending to ignore him) \*Punches him in the chest, with total surprise\*
​
Bus Driver: James come to the front now!
​
So I headed to the front, rest of bus ride is good, get off at my stop. I'm feeling pretty not good about the incident, tell my parent and they are pissed. I look back at it and I feel like I'm in the wrong.
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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hDZpblvplSWnXQOz8cJNTnyRDQuGiF3u
|
abb9u3
|
{
"description": "trying to see my niece behind my brother's back",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I tried to see my niece behind my brother's back?
|
WIBTA if I tried to see my niece behind my brother's back?
I am worried that brother may lose custody of his daughter. My relationship with her mother is good enough that I may still be able to see my niece, but I am afraid that will require me to exclude my brother. WIBTA if I took the opportunity?
My brother left his girlfriend (toxic relationship), it ended on relatively good terms, so custody began as 50/50, but moved to every other weekend after my brother became unemployed. He has been unemployed for over a year and a half, I have offered him numerous jobs through my connections and he has made up an excuse for each one. He lives with our mother and has never paid child support. My niece's mother has since remarried and is pregnant, I fear that when the new child is born his visitation will cease. FYI: No legal proceedings have been filed for custody or child support on either side.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
WkavDdUdWzq5EBApmdE0QDi1JnuL3LF8
|
aew2kj
|
{
"description": "disobeying my stepfather",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for disobeying my stepfather?
|
My mom is going on a trip tomorrow.
She had a row with my stepfather just last night.
Stepfather is kind of a control freak and because they aren’t speaking, he tells me to weasel out information about my mother’s trip including the name and contact of her friends, the tour guide, where she is staying etc.
He didn’t say it out loud but his tone clearly screams ‘Do this using any means necessary’
I think he wants me to break into my mom’s phone.
I know that him having this information will make my mom feel unhappy and betrayed.
I just think it’s an invasion of privacy and unfair for him to use me like this. I feel dirty.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
x0PXVibL7ypHtDSC2YBIWCUK9Y2EQnoh
|
aedr4r
|
{
"description": "bringing my (ex?) girlfriends friend a gift",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for bringing my (ex?) girlfriends friend a gift?
|
My girlfriend (Girl, 20)had recently asked for space so she can figure out her life. So we broke up with the full intention of getting back together. We still talk very often and see each other at least one week.
Recently a friend (Friend) of hers that had become a very good friend of mine got surgery. She has helped me through my break up with Girl. I figured it’d be nice if I brought Friend some popsicles and a stuffed taco to her house while she’s recovering. Friend lives about 20 minutes outside of Pittsburgh so me and a friend made plans to quickly drop off the gift to Friend then spend a day in Pittsburgh. It would be about an hour and a half drive to Friends house from where I live. We brought her the things and left very quickly.
I then get a text from Girl saying how weird that was and how uncomfortable it was. She was very upset that I went and “stepped over boundaries” that we never set, mind you. I tried to explain to her that yes, we broke up for the time being, but Friend has become a very close friend of mine. She didn’t like that answer and said it was weird.
Reddit, AITA? All judgment is welcome.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ObqD9Ng7anlVoxv0hIrAJmnAg3Tk0R0Q
|
at9j30
|
{
"description": "telling the former owners of my house that I'm going to start charging them to hold their packages/mail",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for telling the former owners of my house that I'm going to start charging them to hold their packages/mail?
|
My wife and I bought our first house back in July. We did the walk-throughs, the inspections, etc etc with no signs of any real problems. The previous owners did have about a dozen cats and the smell was... interesting.. Like cats and lavender air fresheners. We attributed it to just having that many fucking cats. We assumed when the owners, the cats, and all their shit was gone we'd be able to manage things with a thorough cleaning and some new paint. Holy shit were we wrong. Long story short I spent the first month of homeownership working all day (building someone else's house ironically enough) then coming to our house until midnight and ripping out oak flooring, subflooring, floor joists, drywall and framing in about 8 different spots. Words cannot describe how fucking gross it was when I got into it. Needless to say we weren't happy. We were pissed (no pun intended) at the Realtors, the home inspector and mostly the previous owners who, when confronted about it, told us "we had no idea, good luck though". FML
Not much longer after the work was done and I could move my family in... the packages started arriving. It wasn't bad. Maybe one or two a month until Xmas then it was every week. Each time I received a text from her before I got home with some line like "oh so sorry, we forgot to update our address" or "oh, this was something that was backordered" each time saying it would be the last time. Seven months later and shit still shows up here. My wife and I hit the limit of our patience and told them any other packages or mail would either be sent back or I could invoice her $20 to handle the package. It was not about the money at all but more about them getting their shit together. I was met with a very pleasant "fuck you, you don't touch our stuff". Did I mention what class acts these people are? There's plenty more to the story but this is enough for context I think.
tl;dr previous homeowners ruined the house with cats marking, covered it up with air fresheners, played dumb when confronted and told me to go fuck myself when I asked them, after seven months and dozens of packages, to stop having things delivered here.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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n0h8Rm9WrPfVlAc2w7tumatHAhVGJ7nE
|
9zaww2
|
{
"description": "feeling upset that my friend seems to have suddenly abandoned me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling upset that my friend seems to have suddenly abandoned me?
|
For context, I'm a 20 yo male and he's a 26 yo male. We'll call him Kyle. Due to family reasons, I don't work or go to school, so I have a lot of time on my hands for now.
I feel angry at Kyle and I also feel guilty for feeling that way. We used to chat all the time. On Discord and Whatsapp. Then he went back to school and never responds to me anymore. Never even reads my messages, but whatsapp says he's been online in the past few hours.
No indication that I ever did anything wrong. But it feels like Kyle's just forgotten about me. Or is purposefully avoiding me. And I'm angry he never takes five minutes out of his day to respond or at least tell me he doesn't wanna chat lately.
I know something could be going on in his life and I feel guilty I can't force myself to feel calm about it and let it go. I gave him a text saying I was there for him and left it alone to just wait. But it hurts.
We've never had issues. Never gotten each other upset. And usually our conversation is about a comic we both like and stuff we laugh at, so I don't think I did anything to piss him off. I have no idea what happened.
Am I an asshole for feeling upset and hurt that he's online all the time but ignores me suddenly?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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way3UCeumiDqiNCVr6dOBHxSWYeVZo84
|
azf6nw
| null |
AITA - Ex-wife makes kids buy their own furniture
|
I’m divorced and gave 10 and 9 yr old kids. I have about 50% custody of the kids and pay my ex close to $2,000 per month in child support.
My son asked me today if he can take his savings from my house to buy a desk for his room at his mothers house.
I’m pissed that she gets the child support but still wants them to take saved pocket money from here to buy essential kids items at her house.
I’ve still not decided if I’ll allow him to buy his own furniture for her house (they’ve got all the essentials at my place) but am I the asshole for being pissed over this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
RlU0PrA1jfnYeQK0MucmR6VQovh1Huqw
|
b63jqz
|
{
"description": "telling my friend she can't wear her Harley Quinn inspired dress to a concert",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 64
}
|
AITA for telling my friend she can’t wear her Harley Quinn inspired dress to a concert?
|
I (24f) bought VIP tickets to see my all time favorite band with a different friend. I paid for the tickets if he drove. The show is four hours away.
He bailed last min so I had to scramble to find someone to go with me. Recently my friend was laid off so i knew she would have the time. She (30f) agreed.
She hasn’t heard of the band before. And put no effort in discovering them. That’s fine, but I told her part of the ViP package was meeting the band. I ultimately told her they were a conceptual metal band and a lot of their songs had a certain level of campiness to them. I think she took that too seriously.
Tonight is the show and last night we were texting what we were wearing. She sends me a hot topic Harley Quinn dress. I just don’t get why people idolize her so much. Since i really am nervous for this whole event i don’t want to look stupid, or be associated with it.
My other friend said i was being a jerk. That whatever she wore won’t be associated with me. But if I’m standing next to her all night i feel like it will!
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
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}
|
WRONG
|
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