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b6ktjo
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{
"description": "asking my housemate's guest to bring the spare keys back home after he locked my guest outside",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for asking my housemate’s guest to bring the spare keys back home after he locked my guest outside?
|
Me, Emma and Karen (fake names) are housemates and we always keep some spare keys to our house under a flowerpot in our garden in case anyone forgets their keys or for guests who are staying over at ours to help themselves in.
​
This week I have had a guest over, Elisa. Elisa has been using the keys to come back home at night before the rest of us arrive (we all work late hours) and put them back there after every use. Starting yesterday, Emma is having a friend of hers (Robert) stay in her room to visit the city while she is away on a business trip. She told him about the keys so that he could use them too.
​
At 8:50 p.m., my guest called me saying the keys were not under the pot any more, there was no one at home and she couldn’t get in. I am at my office, which is a 1.5 hour commute away and I still wasn’t done with work. I message my housemates asking where the keys are. It turns out that the other guest has taken them with him and is now having dinner with Karen and some friends 40 minutes away from home. I tell Karen to tell him to go home and open the door for my guest, because otherwise my guest will have to wait for me to get back to go in (10:30+). She tells me he is having dinner. To that I replied that he could resume the dinner later.
​
They stopped replying to my messages and in the end my guest had to wait until I arrived at 10:30pm to go in. Robert turned up at 11:20.
My flatmates now say IATA for expecting Robert to go open the door. They say that I should have told my guest to go to their restaurant to pick up the keys herself, but I think Robert is the asshole for not going and having my guest wait outside for over 1.5 hours.
tl;dr: Friend’s guest took common spare keys away, locking my guest outside. Flatmates say I’m an asshole for expecting friend’s guest to go home open the door.
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "taking mind games to far on a game with a troll",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITAH for taking mind games to far on a game with a troll?
|
Throwaway account
I played lords mobile a few months ago and I joined this clan. As it is a pay to win type game my wife only let me spend 15 a week which I used mostly on heroes. This allowed me to get moderately powerful and I made a few friends. I met this dude (I am assuming he is a he and not the she he said and we will get to why later it’s important) who posing as a female (again assumed) recruited me to his guild out of mine.
He attracted me with saying he was good friends with the top guild protection yada yada. And did pretty good Sith Lord role play which I found entertaining so I joined. He was overly flirtatious and after I joined the line app group he/she decided to try to keep me from going else where by giving himself/herself to me and sent me supposed pics of herself.
Before even thinking about reverse image I could tell things were amiss as the images were not of the same person. Not to say the bodies weren’t similar but my suspicion was confirmed when reverse image look up showed was a rips from two different Swedish instagrammers and he/she claimed to live in Florida.
Now I admit I didn’t tell my wife what I found or what was happening and I regret that but essentially I decided to play along but worked in the back ground to destabilize the guild.
Read:I made a dummy account and through it fed her details to bad guys and generally did what I could to destroy her as by the end it came out she was doing this to like 9 other people and would commonly just send out straight porn and claim it was her (no face, but I will say he learned how to gain and lose a tan fast) my wife says i crossed a line even though I didn’t send pics I just sent words.
I showed her all the conversations and my evidence that manipulation was at hand and that I was merely enjoying the mind games cause I am a truck driver and traffic makes me feel like being evil sometimes but we disagree on what we call it. She admitted she knows I’d never do anything physical but she think I went to far with the ruse and I should have called him on his bs and moved on.
I stopped playing lord’s mobile since and behave. The wife has forgiven me but we are working to rebuild trust.
So Reddit, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
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a7ausu
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{
"description": "not wanting to be friends with people who dont have my back",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be friends with people who dont have my back
|
Im 19 years old, just recently graduated highschool, about a year ago, a long time friend of mine accused me of stealing, it ruined our friendship and we no longer speak, recently he found out who actually stole from him and now he wants to be friends again, i told him i forgive him but i dont want to be friends, i also quit speaking to any of my other friends in our friend group because non of them had my back when he accused me of stealing and they didn’t really care that he accused me of stealing, i have known these friends since grade 5 and they should have known me better than to assume im a theif, and I think they should have stood up for me when he accused me of being a theif... so i choose not to speak to either the friend that accused me or the friends that didnt have my back... am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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"OTHER": 12,
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OTHER
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{
"RIGHT": 12,
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
b615i5
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{
"description": "telling my friend to break up with her boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For telling my friend to break up with her boyfriend?
|
Here’s some background information:
I have a pretty close friend (I’ll call her Lara) who has been in a relationship with a guy (I’ll call him Chad) for about a year now. I have three other friends in our friend group, though only one (I’ll call her Derren) is relevant to the context of this story. I do not personally drink or smoke, and only Lara drinks/smokes regularly with her boyfriend in our friend group.
Now, on to the story.
I have known Lara for a few years now, so we are pretty close. About a year ago, she started dating this guy, Chad, who me and my other friends don’t know very well, but have seen. Chad is a high school drop out (he didn’t attend his classes enough) and now attends community college. He has smoked weed and done several other illegal things, and all with Lara.
As she’s been dating him, I’ve heard stories from Derren about Chad being a huge douche to Lara (though I cannot confirm any of these stories as they have been passed on to me by Derren due to the fact that Lara has stopped telling me about the things she does because I’m “too judgemental”). Lara’s emotional state has gone down, and has become more cruel and inconsiderate. Shes gotten to the point where you can physically see the emotional baggage on her, but refuses to break up with Chad. Both me and Derren have expressed our concern for her, but when we try and explain to her what a bad influence he is, she gets extremely defensive. She doesn’t see the problem with consuming so many drugs, drinking so much regularly, or having constant unsafe sex with him. (Did I mention that he gave her e. Coli and a kidney infection?) Now, I’m not one to judge people if they wanna do stupid stuff as long as they don’t get me involved, but this is ridiculous. I’m a good, rule following student, but they’re making bad decisions voluntarily so I can’t control them.
Lara has always had a pretty annoyingly large ego, and has been relatively selfish and an attention whore in the past, but it’s been getting exponentially worse as she continues dating him. Not only is she now a much (and for the lack of a better word) worse person, but it is very clear that Chad is the problem and she refuses to accept it. Derren and I both express to her regularly why she needs to break up with him, but she doesn’t listen. She has caused me to almost resent her to a certain extent, and it’s been the cause of a LOT of issues within our friendship and group. She claims “we don’t know him well enough”, but the issue with that is that Derren knows him well enough to know that’s not true. I’m legitimately concerned for her wellbeing, and I think he’s an awful influence on her.
I’ve told her numerous times to break up with him, but every time, the response is the same, in the same quiet little “I’m such a victim” voice:
“Why do you hate him so much?”
AITA for hating Chad and wanting Lara to break up with him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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AUTHOR
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{
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RIGHT
|
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|
alj3yn
|
{
"description": "always calling my friend out on his stubbornness",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for always calling my friend out on his stubbornness?
|
In school, I have a usual group of friends I hang around, one of these friends is Al.
Now, no one really knows if Al is autistic or whatever, but he definitely is slow. (His parents have talked about having him tested, but they never did because his dad was too scared of it coming out positive.)
Although he gets picked on, he doesn.t let it affect him easily. He tells me about how he never really was well liked in schools before, and I wasn.t either. But he, unlike myself, is mostly a happy and energetic kid.
Well, except when he.s asked to do something..
You see, me and my friends sit mostly on the same tables. Even most the teachers know where we sit, so do the lunchtime staff. We usually leave quite a mess and recently we.ve been getting warnings from staff about cleaning up after ourselves. I am usually the one who tries to get people to clean up, to save us from detentions, but Al almost always makes quite a lot of mess and never really cleans it up.
Al is very VERY stubborn, he always has been. Asking him nicely, shouting at him, doesn.t matter. He won.t do anything anyone says.
Even when I kindly ask him not to hug me every 5 minutes (he.s a clingy person), or ask him not to stand too close to me, or not to throw things, he keeps at it!
I get irritated easily, quite easily, very easily. You can see how this would get on my nerves at times. I oftentimes call him out on this behaviour and “throw shade” at him for being stubborn. I wasn.t always like this, but over the last few school years, I became more distant and angry. Not even I.m sure why. Him bringing unwanted attention by being stubborn and, truthfully, lazy is extremely annoying. He always get quite upset when he.s scolded and apologises a lot, but almost always persists afterwards.
We talk about this often, we agree that it could be school.s fault (because most people there are very judgmental and I get very on edge at school), but I.m never sure. Maybe it is him and he.s the reason I.m so constantly on edge, maybe I should loosen up, I don.t know.
I.d also like to note, other friends also call him out sometimes, call him annoying, but never as much as me.
Also, this isn.t just about the tables, but that was a recent example.
I really don.t know who the true ass here is, so I await judgement with hope in finding answers and/or compromise.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "getting upset that my girlfriend constantly cancels our plans",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset that my girlfriend constantly cancels our plans?
|
So my girlfriend who I’ve been dating for 3 years constantly cancels our plans and makes up excuses or changes them to go and hang out with other people. I try to make plans and she will confirm them but on the day that they’re set for, she cancels them and goes and hangs out with some other girls or a group.
At first, I didn’t have a problem with it because everyone needs time to be with other people instead of their significant other and she would still see me about twice a week. I’ve gotten upset before because no one likes having their plans cancelled on them but she just got mad at me saying that she doesn’t see why it’s such a bad thing and that I was being controlling. I don’t think I’m being controlling because I didn’t get upset until she cancelled them 2-3 times a week and went out with other people.
As of now, it’s worse than ever before. I see her *MAYBE* once a week for a few hours and even when I see her she’s on her phone and just seems disinterested. When she’s interested she’s the most lovely and fun person to be around and our personalities just click incredibly well. I’ve told her before that she shouldn’t tell me “yes, we can absolutely hang out” if she just intends on cancelling our plans, if she wants to hang out with other people just tell me.
This has caused a lot of recent fights between us and I’m upset that she does this and she’s upset that I’m controlling her or making her decisions for her and she doesn’t think it’s a big deal to cancel.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
alisun
|
{
"description": "telling waiter friend he should be more understanding for why his customer didn't tip after seeing a rat at their upscale restaurant",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA asshole for telling waiter friend he should be more understanding for why his customer didn’t tip after seeing a rat at their upscale restaurant?
|
I’ll preference this by saying I’ve been a waiter, I know how awful it is when people don’t tip when their meal was fine. I also get how frustrating it can be when their meal doesn’t go fine for something that’s entirely out of your control and your tip suffers from it. But at the same I feel like some servers have a chip on their shoulder about it.
My friend works at a very upscale restaurant. We met for drinks after his shift once and he was furious a customer didn’t tip. He’s in he boat that the couple who saw the rat weren’t negatively effected by his service so he should’ve been tipped. I told him that if the restaurant is charging that much for their service they’re asking their customers to put in an investment that it’ll be a great service. When something as off putting as having a rat scurry under your table totally destroys that investment and now don’t want to give anymore money towards an experience that was ruined.
He’s also had customers give lousy tips because they had to stand 15 - 20 mins in line to use the ONE bathroom. This one I’m a little more conflicted on but at the same time i feel I would be pretty pissed too if I dropped a lot of money on a dinner and had to spend a third of it waiting in line to use the bathroom.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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a8snvm
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{
"description": "keeping me my family away from my mum",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for keeping me my family away from my mum
|
Ok bit of back story. My mum is a very self motivated between taking money off me from the age of 12 to consent moving because she was having affairs and other things. To make me homeless at 18 and then expecting me to support her when she got back from what she was doing. Which I did then final straw came when she started arguing with relatives at my baby daughter s funeral. Now amita for keeping my son away from her there are a few family party at my dad's house that she has invited her self to. I have said I ain't going because she is. My family say I need to be there for my son sake if nothing else. To be honest I can't stand to be near her aita
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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RIGHT
|
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|
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|
{
"description": "informing my really close friend that he should change his attitude, or else everyone else would be fed up with him and he wouldn't have any more friends",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA if I inform my really close friend that he should change his attitude, or else everyone else would be fed up with him and he wouldn’t have any more friends?
|
This person, let’s call him Alex, used to be my best friend. Alex and I were so close, and wouldn’t hesitate in telling each other any secret. Last couple of years, everyone liked Alex. In fact, they would all say he was the best guy they had ever met. But these 2 years, something happened to him. His attitude changed so suddenly, *I* don’t even understand it.
We didn’t talk as much, just because for some reason he wasn’t interested in talking to me, so I didn’t want to bother him. But this continued for a while, until we weren’t considered best friends, but we’re still close.
Most of my friends ask me’”how do you deal with Alex?! He’s such a bully omggg. So rude, ignorant, mean, terrible!”.
I used to always stand up for him when someone would say that about him to me, and sometimes I would succeed in convincing my friend that Alex isn’t the complete garbage that they thought he was.
However, when Alex started talking badly to me, I was kind of shocked. I ignored it, and was patient with it. It has been almost a year of me being patient with his annoyance. So I often tell my friends, “it’s his insecurity, don’t worry, he’s a great person deep inside”.
I’m actually worried for him, because I don’t think he’s realizing that everyone dislikes him. And I’m not even slightly over-exaggerating that part. He changed so much, I can’t even believe it. I want him to somehow know that he should change, or else he would be left with no other friends. And it would terrify me to witness one of my friends go through such a thing.
Am I the asshole if I tell him that he needs to get himself together, and have better manners or else he would be left all alone? (I would try my best to say it the nicest way as possible because I really don’t want him to hate me for trying to help him).
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
b0qrab
|
{
"description": "not giving a solo backpacker some of our extra food",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not giving a solo backpacker some of our extra food?
|
So this happened a few years back. Me and a buddy were doing a 3 night backpacking trip that is a 30km loop. We'd packed a bit heavy as it was our first "big" backpacking trip, so we had more than we needed for everything including food.
We had just packed up our final campsite and were about to head out for the hike to the trailhead when we encountered a middle aged lady and her dog on the way going the opposite direction. We exchanged some small talk like where the best sites are and so on, and she mentioned she wanted to extend her hike a bit more, but unfortunately she was almost out of food.
We just kind of brushed that off as "oh well, that's the rough part of backpacking, never know exactly how much to pack right?" and had we all had a chuckle and went our separate ways.
Once we got back to our car, me and my buddy looked at each other and both realized she was likely hoping we'd offer some of our extra food, and we were so oblivious we never even though to. We felt awful we didn't help her. It's not like she was in danger or anything, she'd just have to hike out sooner that she wanted.
On the other hand, she should have come more prepared I guess?
Reddit were we assholes for not offering her some of our food?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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RIGHT
|
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b22c08
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{
"description": "being upset my MIL(50?) bought my daughter a bike",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being upset my(23f) MIL(50?) bought my daughter a bike?
|
My MIL has always been a big part of my family whether I liked it or not. She's a good person, if anything, it's a major flaw. My daughter loves her grandma and, don't get me wrong, I love the relationship, but.....
We're on the worse side of broke. We've asked her for money who knows how many times, I don't even know how much we owe her. For context, her parents (my daughter's great grandparents) both passed away last year. Their deaths hit MIL pretty hard, especially because they were a few months apart (3 max), and her way of coping was shopping sprees. I didn't like it from the beginning because I knew that as soon as she got her head straight she'll start bitching about how much money she doesn't have because
1) she has no monetary discipline
2) because of #1 her three sons (all adults) also have no monetary discipline
3) her parents had no monetary discipline
So because of this, everyone is broke.
This is all relevant in the fact that we were all hit pretty hard last year, so my husband and I promised that when we got our taxes we'd give her the majority. She got $6,000 out of roughly $10,000. A couple of days ago, maybe a week now, she hit a bump because some hardware store took money out of her account for a debt her father had left after passing. This was at the same time my husband was to pay her some bills (she's sort of our landlady). We were admittedly late by a couple hundred due work being a little slow, but we had plenty of time to give her the money before the bill was actually due. She bitched anyway because she was broke beo of her father's debt.
Today she had my daughter all day until tomorrow for a sleep over. I was already sketchy about it because everytime my daughter goes over she gets some new toy that her father nor I could afford. Now, for the most part this is fine, but today she got a bike. Her very first bike. We were not consulted about this. We had planned to get her first bike for her birthday (she's turning three). On top of getting her her first bike, she immediately got to work on trying to teach her how to ride it. This was personal to me. I grew up without a dad so I was really REALLY looking forward to watching my daughter have that moment with her dad. Now she won't being her grandmother chose to do that.
Am I overreacting? I'm putting this up there with me telling my husband that I didn't like her kissing my babies on the lips when my daughter was first born. She still does this and husband plays it off as "this is what my family has always done." when I told him it bothered me that she was "having a difficult time kicking the habit"
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
|
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a6rp36
|
{
"description": "correcting a girl who was showing off",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for correcting a girl who was showing off
|
Some context, this girl is about 11 and incredibly insecure. Like, she would literally do anything for even a little recognition. The thing she tends to do to get this is sing. I will admit, she is pretty good, but she constantly does it so loudly in class.
So we’re in chorus and singing some weird Christmas song. We come to a half note that was moderately high, and this girl belts that shit for 8 fucking beats. She was the only one singing, and she knew what she was doing. If you saw her face during it, you would understand. She had the biggest ducking smirk on her face. It was annoying to me, and I said to her “it’s just a half note.” She started crying after I said that. Some people glared at me and called me an asshole after class.
So am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
awkugh
|
{
"description": "thinking my coworker should have waited to announce her pregnancy",
"pronormative_score": 55,
"contranormative_score": 56
}
|
AITA for thinking my coworker should have waited to announce her pregnancy?
|
My coworker, Hayley, and her husband (both early to mid-twenties) announced her second pregnancy to the office a few weeks ago. Based on the due date she gave us, she was only a handful of weeks into her pregnancy (four at most). My co-workers are much older, some with children, some without. We’re a relatively close-knit group since there aren’t that many of us.
We were all happy for her, although there were a few whispered discussions about her getting pregnant again rather fast at her age (her first child was born about a year ago. I did not participate in these discussions, nor did I ever give off any impression that I was anything less than ecstatic at her news. I congratulated her separately on her new pregnancy and she was fairly glowing).
Earlier this week, one of our other coworkers discreetly let us know that Hayley had suffered a miscarriage, and that she and her husband were struggling heavily with the news.
I immediately sent her a message of support (which she replied graciously to).
But during this whole thing, I couldn’t help but wonder why she and her husband didn’t wait until she was at least three months along to announce her pregnancy to the world, especially since her first one was high risk. I was always under the impression that that was the proper etiquette since miscarriages are unfortunately common before that timeframe.
Obviously I would never say anything like that to her, and I was genuinely happy for her when she announced the pregnancy and genuinely sad when I found out about the miscarriage. But the idea keeps popping into my head, and I feel like I’m being too judgmental.
Please tell me - AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
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|
awd1qv
|
{
"description": "not including all my friends when I cook",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for not including all my friends when I cook?
|
Hey guys, new to this so I hope I get everything right. So back story, I'm from South Louisiana which is primarily Catholic and Cajun/Creole. Very, very, very different from North Louisiana which sits in the Bible Belt, hardly no Catholics, only Protestants (nothing wrong with that)! Anyways more backstory because I fuck with backstory. Cajuns and Creoles are very different from the rest of the Louisiana population. Yes, we like to get drunk and yes we have accents. There's a homely vibe that radiates in South Louisiana, more than anywhere else in the South. Cajuns (which is who I'll focus on because I am one) were at the bottom of the totem pole. My grand parents were beat in school for speaking French, people thought we were the lowest of the low. That being said, it won't suprise you to find almost anyone in South Louisiana willing to give you a hand, invite you over for some dinner, or give you a ride. It's a community that you can't find anywhere else. And remember that we are NOT white trash, but rather coonass. Come visit some time, try the best food in the world, come drink, come saltwater fishing or alligator hunting and I promise you'll never want to go home.
Anyways, I moved up to North Louisiana for college around 2 years ago. I got a great group of friends, rushed a fraternity, and got really involved with the school. They all tease me a lot because of my accent but they love me just the same. I love to cook, it's my passion and I'd like to think I'm pretty damn good at it. It primarily consists of gumbo, jambalaya, or fried deer backstap, my top 3. I will cook every 3-4 weeks and invite over 15+ people, and I will normally pay for it all myself but as long as I got all my podnahs over here drinking and having a great time, I'm happy. I have a buddy in particular who I get down with all the time, we always got each other's backs. But everytime I cook, he comes over and eats and complains about it. "Oh it's too spicy." "Too much salt!" "Too much Tony's." This man literally told me, too much Tony's... Tony's seasoning is literally in my blood... It's my bread and butter for any good dish. He never enjoys my food. Keep in mind, when I cook, I don't make it how I eat it because I promise no northern could eat what I could handle... Joke! Don't get mad! Anyways, I make it not as spicy so people can add to make it how they like it.
So tonight I invited a few people over, but not my friend in particular, to have some seafood gumbo I had cooked for Christmas and froze. He didn't get an invite and messaged me asking what I was doing. I told him nothing and he called me out for lying... Am I the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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b2p7vk
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{
"description": "calling the police on my neighbors that use my dumpster",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA For calling the police on my neighbors that use my dumpster?
|
I feel petty just writing this, but it makes me irrationally angry. Almost every day when I get home from work, I witness someone (not from our condo building) dumping their trash into our dumpster. I guess I wouldn’t mind them using it so much if it wasn’t full 3 days before pick up.
Today, for example, I confronted a lady about it. I asked her if she lives here, and asked her to please remove her items as that is specifically for people in this complex. She laughed at me and drove away. I half contemplated blocking her in, as there’s only one way in and out, but decided against it. Is that even legal? I don’t know, but this has got to stop.
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HYPOTHETICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "telling my friend to not adopt a dog",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend to not adopt a dog
|
My friend constantly complains about his and his mother's disabilities, and the fact they hardly have enough money to support themselves.
They already have two cats, but are planning to adopt a shih-tzu puppy soon.
I've told him that it isn't a good idea, and that it would be better not to add more strain to their budget. They would also struggle walking the dog because of their disabilities.
He has told me I'm being unfair and "ableist".
So, am I the asshole for telling him to not get a dog?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "selling my sewing machine",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for selling my sewing machine?
|
My husband gave me a sewing machine 9 years ago for my birthday and I used it maybe 5 times and not in the last 6 years. It’s literally collecting dust now.
I have been selling some things recently because I lost my job and have the time to sort through our stuff. And ok yes, I can use the money.
He says “it’s one of those things that’s good to have” and I’m going overboard with the selling. I also sold an ottoman today that we dumped in the basement because he said he hated it as soon as it arrived at our house. The ottoman was about 6 years old. Now he’s upset about the ottoman because he said he would use it when he was working on his hobby in the basement.
I was on the fence about selling the sewing machine but I’m getting back about 80% of the retail price, and the woman buying it lost everything in a house fire last year and said it would be “life-changing” to be able to sew again.
I’d love to have the time and talent to use the machine more often but I’d rather it go to a good home where it will be appreciated.
When we need our clothes altered, we take it to a tailor because I don’t have the skill to alter clothing ourselves. It’s a very complicated, advanced machine and I’d rather have one with fewer features so I can get my hands around it before moving to more advanced techniques.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "telling people at r/atheism to be respectful",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA For Telling People At r/atheism To Be Respectful?
|
Let me get this out of the way:
**I AM AN ATHEIST.**
I do not believe in religion. I see it as pointless. However, I will not be a dirtbag and forcing everyone to tell people Jesus is a load of shit. I believe we still have to respect one another despite of what they believe. I feel like the world should be a better place, despite believing in Jesus, Buddha, Mohammad, Moses, no entity, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
I said on r/atheism that we shouldn't worry about Christians if they are pressuring us to believe in God. We should be respectful towards others regardless of how we feel. And I got back was basically the biggest middle finger and being talked down to for putting out a what I believe a positive message to be a good person. The post has been deleted because I couldn't handle people being one sided about a topic.
So, AITA for telling people to be respectful, or is it them?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "telling a sales person they were giving me anxiety",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for telling a sales person they were giving me anxiety
|
I was at famous footlocker shopping for shoes, I kinda stood around waiting for texts from my mom about the shoes. The lady comes up and asks if I need help, which is fine, I let her know that I'm alright and say thanks. Then she walks around me, just 5 feet away and stares at me. I just keep my head down at my phone waiting for those texts. She moves to my other side and just stands there for a while. I eventually move and she moves with me. I try to ignore it but shes never more than 10 ft away from me in this massive store with plenty of other customers. I try on shoes and decide to buy them so I move up to the front of the store and she follows me. My social anxiety was triggered and I started shaking. FML. My mom asks me to wait before purchasing the shoes because she might have a coupon. Time is moving so fucking slow and I look up just to make I contact with that sales associate. I say hi and she turns around and goes around the aisle to stand behind me. I put the shoes away and told her that her patrolling and staring had triggered my social anxiety and that I needed to leave without making my purchase. She understandably didnt know how to respond and just stared some more. I left and am now shaking in the bathroom. Maybe she thought I was shoplifting shoes in my skin tight yoga outfit. Maybe she thought I would tell the register that she had helped me make my purchase. Was I out of line for saying anything? My anxiety is my problem and not her responsibility right?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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b5avmc
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{
"description": "not talking to my (new) gf during this difficult time in her life",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for not talking to my (new) gf during this difficult time in her life?
|
I've been talking to this girl for just over a month now (although we talked everyday) and the other night she asked me if we could make things official. I was drunk and said yes without thinking things through. Although, mind you it felt like us dating was imminent.
The next day I told her I wouldn't be online / talking to her for approx. 3 days. I've been feeling very stressed lately and my life has been extremely draining socially, which is difficult because I really value alone time. I am also sick atm and away from my phone. I told her that I was not just ignoring her but everyone who I am friends with. This is something I will often do, although because I don't talk to my friend's as much as I do her, normally I don't have to put a disclaimer like this. My friends will assume I'm busy. She will assume something is wrong.
Just today though her Grandpa died. But I still could not bring myself to text her/replying because the very act of doing so feels extremely draining and I'm worried I can't be there emotionally and will just become growingly aggravated, only making her more distressed.
I am not an emotional person, and although this is something I tried to tell her going into it, I feel like she still relies on me, pretty heavily, for emotional support. This is a relationship unlike anything I have had before as my previous boyfriend never had to be emotionally comforted, and would prefer to pretend everything was fine and distract himself (my preferred way to deal with things too). Further more, none of my friends rely on me emotionally either (they know it's not my forte).
Am I the asshole for not being there for her right now?
*Also I've kind of caught onto the fact that I am the asshole, but I'm kinda trying to get an idea of how much of an asshole.
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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az6fwb
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{
"description": "waking up my roommates",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for waking up my roommates
|
Context: I live in a house with 5 roommates. I graduated last year and have a full time job now and they are all still students. During the week I typically leave at 7am and don't get home until 7:30pm so I don't have a lot of time or energy to clean on weeknights. Some of my roommates are always complaining that the house is messy. This morning I decided to do some cleaning at around 9:30am. I did some vacuuming in the living room and everyone got mad at me for waking them up. I think it's a reasonable time to do cleaning and will be busy all afternoon and all day tomorrow so thought it would be a good time to do it. I got mad when they complained in the group chat but they said it's common courtesy to not make noise early on weekend mornings.
AITA
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "winding up my boss about a publicly rejected Christmas present",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for winding up my boss about a publicly rejected Christmas present?
|
This is something that plays on my mind a bit. I haven’t had anyone tell me off for it but I do wonder if I’m being an asshole. Would appreciate Reddit’s feedback.
I started a new job three-ish years ago around April. Settled in very quickly and it was a fun office although my director is a little bit difficult.
Christmas comes around and we decide to do Secret Santa. There are around 30 of us in the office. I got my boss. We get on well generally and both like a laugh. I knew he likes a drink by this point so I got him a bottle of Jägermeister. He seemed to like it. I had to leave early so as I said goodbye, Happy Christmas etc I popped it on his desk.
A few days later I learned that when he left to go home (after me) he picked up the bottle and in front of all my colleagues dumped it on someone else’s desk and said “You can have that.” And walked out.
I was a little bit bothered to hear about it because it was a new position, I wanted to have a laugh and make a good impression for my first Christmas with them. We have a lot of banter in the office and, now, I do like to give him a bit of grief for it each year around Christmas time. He really does **not** like it when I bring it up though.
I feel like he was rude to do that in front of everyone else after I’d gone home in the first place and a bit of teasing each year on my part is no biggie. To be clear, I’m still working there, my job isn’t at risk, and we have a decent relationship.
AITA for winding him up?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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b6zqt6
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{
"description": "saying a tattoo can't be \"in honor\" of someone who didn't like tattoos",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for saying a tattoo can't be "in honor" of someone who didn't like tattoos?
|
A friend said she wanted to get a particular tattoo "in honor of her father" who passed away several years ago. Tattoo isn't a name/date or anything like that - just an innocuous, regular tattoo (think, like a flower, or a feather - like that... though the object did have significance to her dad I guess). I was a little surprised and asked, "Didn't your dad not like tattoos?" I didn't know her dad SUPER well, but I met him enough times to have a general impression of what kind of attitude he had about tattoos / piercings / etc. She confirmed- as somewhat typical for his generation, he did not approve of tattoos (IIRC she also didn't pierce her ears until adulthood due to his disapproval of piercings either, sooo).
Anyway, I pointed out fairly mildly that if she wanted to do the tattoo because it has special meaning for her that's cool, and if it reminds her of her dad, that's cool too, but it probably isn't quite right for to say a tattoo is "in honor" of dad if dad actively disliked and disapproved of tattoos. Another friend snapped that I was an asshole for saying that, that if someone says something is in honor of someone, then it's in honor of them. Of course I feel like I was just pointing out a truth in that you can't honor someone with someone they actively dislike(d) - that's kinda like DISHONORING them right? Like if you donate to an anti-LGBT organization and "gift" that to a LGBT person, that's not an honor, it's an insult. Dramatic example, but the principle stands.
(FWIW I wouldn't have said something if her dad had recently passed away or the emotions were still raw; grieving people get a wide berth and much compassion... but she's fine and it's been several years so I thought a mild semantics correction was OK). We're all cool now and not in a huge snit, but I was wondering reddit, AM I the asshole?
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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af6z7b
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{
"description": "telling my girlfriend that she has offensive body odor after sex",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I told my girlfriend that she has offensive body odor after sex.
|
So I am an extremely lucky guy with a very kind, sweet girlfriend who is very caring and giving. I love her very much and cherish being around her. And 99% of the time, she is a pleasure to be around. So now that that is out of the way.
She stinks after sex. Shes not obese, shes actually very healthy, she doesn't eat any foods that i believe would cause BO, and she puts on perfume and prepares herself for me before sex.
There has always been a slight smell afterwords, but recently its gotten to be unbearable and shes unable to notice. The issue is her sweat, she just sweats a lot when exercising. I can fuck her for 15 minutes and she will be drenched in sweat, which during the sex I don't mind because it looks sexy and im too in the zone to smell anything.
However after we're done she always cuddles up to me for a good hour or so. I am tired so i dont want to get up, and i dont want to be rude. During that time her stench is just on me, and I hate talking about her like this because she is very kind and beautiful, but its becoming an issue now.
I have debated this for idk how long. I can't just tell her to go take a shower because she'll know she stinks. But i am reaching the breaking point here. I love her and i dont want to hurt her but i want this to stop.
WIBTA if I just told her, honey you have body odor after sex?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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aasvva
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{
"description": "selectively cleaning up messes that aren't mine",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for selectively cleaning up messes that aren’t mine?
|
This has been an issue of mine for over two-ish going on three years now. I’m a 20 year old female living at home still with my mother and two brothers. All together four people and one dog. We live in a very small house with very small spaces meaning the potential for clutter to get out of hand is always abound.
Here’s my biggest issue. My mother is always expecting me to clean up the piles of messes around the house like it’s specifically just me who’s doing it and it’s starting to really get on my nerves. Her argument is that it doesn’t matter if I made the majority of it were all using the same spaces so we should all work to maintain it. That’s sound logic except I’m not the one making the major messes, but I’m the one getting harped on the absolute most.
My biggest issue here is one of the majority of the messes is from the dog my mother ran out and adopted and decided to take no effort in training at all. This dog was never potty trained, and my mother hasn’t really taken any real effort into doing it.
Her idea of training is just throwing random puppy pads around the house even though the dog has already marked several areas, and continues to just pee on furniture and the bathroom floor.
I’ve begged her to train the dog or enroll him in some form of classes because the dog bites me and has and continues to destroyed a lot of my personal items and clothing.
Every time I bring up her lack of training and how generally disgusting this all is she acts like I’m being a complete asshole. She told me that I should pay for training since she can’t, and if I’m going to continue to complain then I should take the effort. I told her this is unfair to everyone else in the house and if she can’t be bothered to properly train the dog that we’ve had for over a year she’s should give it away to someone else who’s actually willing too.
Because of this I’ve just become depressed and passive aggressive. Now I just walk over and around puddle of urine because I feel like a maid cleaning up after an animal that i didn’t want and isn’t mine. I barely stay in the house anymore became of this. It’s awful. Meanwhile my brothers stack and pile up dishes in the kitchen, and leave things scattered around and have never really been yelled at or told to clean up after themselves.
I know I’m not the most perfectly clean person. I can be messy and disorganized like everyone else but I try to keep my shit contained so no one else deals with it regularly.
Please am I being an asshole? Do you have any suggestions?
|
HISTORICAL
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avd9vg
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{
"description": "giving my Friends Sister Concert tickets",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for giving my Friends Sister Concert tickets
|
My friends sister and I are acquaintances, because of my friendship with her bro. Their family has been nothing but good to me. Even has extended their home as a place I can go should I ever need to go somewhere
I have a very strong and reliable connection, with a big time venue in my city, to obtain off the market complimentary tickets to shows and sporting events held there. Historically I have attended events with my friend, given a pair of tickets to his sister, and given a pair of tickets to their parents. To let them go see a shows they were interested in, as a kind gesture from me. Doing this favor costs me nothing, and I get to make people happy so I like doing this from time to time. I have sometimes given tickets to people I work with, but not always. I get uncomfortable when people ask for the favors, as I feel it is my favor to offer but not theirs to ask for, Generally speaking and mostly with work colleagues. I need to work on saying no to people I feel have no business requesting tickets from me, especially comps. I sometimes make an exception and require them to pay for the tickets (paid to the venue not to me) as the buying opportunity is a favor enough.
Meanwhile friends sister had requested a pair of tickets for a show coming up in a couple weeks, literally over half a year ago, to which I already agreed. My girlfriend wanted to also see the show so I set them up with a pair as well. I'd have joined her but not my type of music. She took her friend, I soon learned that my girlfriend and her friend were very close to my friends sister and her friend at the show.
My girlfriend was upset with me for giving my friends sister tickets to that show because.. her reasoning,
1. I am not even friends with the girl.
2. She only texts me when she wants tickets, which is about once a year. (But I see her in person far more)
3. she doesn't want me to be taken advantage of
4. lastly that I dont know her like my gf does, and that she is a mean girl.
​
I presume that she may be referring to experiences she had with my friends sister in the past and throughout their friendship. I dont know, I have asked and my gf has not said that she was ever nasty to my gf in the past or anything.
Part of me feels like my gf might want to feel that she can go to these shows exclusively because she is with me, and doesn't want other people she knows, able to benefit from my connection. But that's just a thought, I'm not a girl so I really struggle to follow how they think and rationalize sometimes.
​
Fast forward. Gf and friends sister made up and are friends again. Friends sister wants to go to another show.
I am literally trying to make everyone happy and imo taking care of my friends sister is being nice to not only her, but her family as well, including my friend. I see myself being a good guy, making people happy..
​
But Am I the Asshole for taking care of my friends sister on her request for the pair of tickets?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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amy5so
|
{
"description": "playing a second League of Legends game",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for playing a second League of Legends game?
|
AITA for playing that second League of Legends game?
Earlier in the day, I invited my boyfriend to come over to watch the Superbowl with me. He agrees but tells me he's leaving early because his family has plans to go visit his grandparent's house. And so I send him back to his house, assuming his parents will then take them all to his grandparent's house to celebrate.
I get home and start a League of Legends game with some rando friends of mine (people I've met over the Internet), and we play a game. Halfway through the game, my mom yells at me to help her with the turtle tank, and I'm really distracted. By the time I refocus back on my game, I noticed my boyfriend's been spamming me in League chat.
And when I say he spams me, he SPAMS me. I can never EVER tell what he's even upset about because he puts like 3 messages where he's actually talking sense and then spams a single character "?" or "a" or whatever over and over again. This time is even worse because he just spams "HELLO" and "?" Probably 20-30 or so within 5 seconds. So I tell him "hello" and "yes", but he continued to spam nonsense so I tell him to "SHUT THE FUCK UP" and to "stop being a baby" since he's spamming me for literally no reason, and he begins to blow up at me for "ignoring his messages" and "not inviting me". So at this point I'm confused, since I 100% thought he was at his grandparent's house, so he shouldn't have access to League. Plus I didn't even see him send me any messages prior.
So I ask him if he's at his grandparent's house, and he's like "Did you drop me off at my grandparent's house? I didn't say I had to go immediately. You would know if you looked at my FUCKING MESSAGES". (FYI I rechecked the messages later, nowhere did he mention that he was NOT at his grandparent's house).
And, mind you, I'm still playing League when this is all going on. It's extremely hard trying to play and type at the same time, so I'm typing between intervals of when there's no action going on. But since this takes time, every time I go back to focusing on my game he spams more so it's really annoying.
He says I'm ignoring his messages and at this point my game's finished, and he's spamming:
"why"
"."
"do"
"."
"not"
"."
"look"
"."
"at"
"."
"my"
"."
"messages"
".'
At this point my mind is on autopilot, I'm totally blank and numb to the notification sound since he's been literally spamming me all game. I automatically click "Play Again" and my rando friends start another game with me. As soon as I'm in game, he goes "WHY DID YOU PLAY ANOTHER ONE WITHOUT ME?" and starts spamming and sending angry messages.
I 100% honestly didn't realize he wanted to play a game with me, I thought he was just spamming/being a baby about me "ignoring" him, since literally only 2 lines of his 50+ messages of spam mentioned anything about invites, while the majority was spam and the second majority was about me ignoring him. And it turns out, I was "ignoring" him because of one message he sent earlier after he got home "YOU GOT A TURTLE?", which I thought he had sent before he had come over to my place to check out my new turtles... because why would you message a question like that unless you haven't seen my turtles yet.
Anyway, I did feel bad about starting the second game without him so I offer to play a game with him right after to make up for everything, but he said no, called me a "snake", wished that all my rando "retarded nobody stranger" friends "died a horrible death", and then called me a bad girlfriend for not prioritizing him, called me "autistic", said that I was so desperate that I would play with any rando, and that I had no empathy.
I did give him my part of the story and I just want him to understand my POV but he just calls them "excuses" and is making fun of me for it.
I'm going to ignore his messages for now until he calms down since I know I can't have a proper discussion with him while he's still mad, but am I the asshole for playing that second League of Legends game?
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HISTORICAL
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ar4pmt
| null |
AITA - Neighbor and coworker (foreman) of my husband just asked to borrow our car to go to Walmart two miles away and went out to the parking lot and took the new Jeep I pay for that he is not allowed to use as opposed to a paid for old van we have, I am EXTREMELY upset at my husband.
|
I have ALWAYS been of the school that people do NOT ask to borrow someone else's car. It isn't a cup of sugar or two eggs, it is our most important asset. Our neighbor got into a situation where his girlfriend had a nice car and he 'took' over payments, a tow company came to repossess it on the same day he sold his junky, dented up car to a coworker. We felt bad, of course, then he broke up with his girlfriend and now has been hitting us up for our car. We have a 2015 Jeep and a paid for T&C minivan with no issues. He had begged us to borrow our nice Jeep to go on a date right up the street. After getting all of the information I said yes, because it was right up the road. He didn't come back until the next day and, turns out, had driven f\*&\^ing 80 miles each way to go on a Ferris Bueller road trip to go take his date to a casino. He totally lied. My husband was oddly nonchalant about this. I was SO MAD and felt betrayed. This is our baby! I spent so much money to get it, love it, and pay the monthly payments. It is in BOTH of our names. I talked to my husband and told him that this was a deal breaker, we are not doing this anymore. I also told the neighbor earlier that that was a one time thing to try to head off being hit up for borrowing our car like a dependent. Tonight he called, my husband answered, said "yes", I saw who it was on the caller ID and was shaking my head no. HE said the neighbor was just going a couple of miles to Walmart. he gave him the keys, which consist of both keys. I decided to have this battle another day but then thought...wait...no way he would take our 'new' car I pay so much for and already said no, right? I go look and he totally did! He took the keys to the van and decided to take our expensive Jeep. MY husband seemed so upset that I flew off the handle, couldn't understand this was a huge betrayal of trust and really NONE of this is okay with me AT ALL!!!! He is seeing someone. This is not our child. I don't trust him because he was dishonest with the first time we allowed him to take the car up the street and back.
​
I am so mad at my husband I cannot see straight. Let me add that they are co-workers. I DON' T CARE. You don't borrow cars. That is not okay. MY husband is completely flat with his affect about this, seems like it doesn't bother him at all. HELLO! What happens if there is a wreck? If someone dings the shit out of the Jeep? If someone is injured or killed in a wreck? We struggle as a family and live paycheck to paycheck. This isn't anything to be okay with, IMO. Am I the Asshole? We are currently not speaking.
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HISTORICAL
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a430wr
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{
"description": "taking control of my direct deposit paycheck back",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for taking control of my direct deposit paycheck back?
|
There's a little context involved, apologies for the length of post.
TL;DR in advance, wife has had full unquestioned control of all joint income/spending, wife was primary bread winner with 6 fig income for first 6 years of relationship, I'm now earning equally with her and paying attention to bad spending habits, I struggle to get $20 to spend on needs/wants every month or so, AITA for taking control of my paycheck behind her back after asking politely for 12 months in a row?
​
Okay, more details. I (29F Linux Engineer) met my wife (36F CFO) when I was 21 (8 years ago). We actually got really serious really fast. I was working several jobs at the time and going to school. My total income was fairly meager even though I did rescue her financially with my savings early on. She earned just north of 100K but was bouncing back from a divorce. As it was, and I dont remember exactly how, but we reached a point in the first year where we were living together full time and she handled all finances. I would deposit my checks and direct deposits into our joint bank account. She would handle all bills and expenses which was fine by me as I'm not the most punctual with money things and previously relied on a habit of over funding my bank account and scheduling things for auto pay that I would check every few months. After rescuing her with over 10K of savings and gifting her a reasonably newish honda accord, I didnt have that luxury any more so decided to trust her with my measly income and appreciated being able to enjoy obviously nicer amenities covered by her lifestyle and income.
​
just over 4 years ago I started my tech career with a 32K entry level job. In less than 3 and a half years I promoted up to a 48K income, then got poached a year ago for a 6 figure salary. January 1 of 2018 I noticed some financial red flags that I had grown immune to or just been blind to out of appreciation for my wife's support. I ended up calling in sick 3 days in a row due to loosing sleep pouring over 6 years of bank and credit card statements and feeling sick from the pattern I was seeing emerge. I felt incredibly naieve and ignorant as I looked at the big picture. My thoughts were also haunted by the reality I'm poor at choosing gifts & observing the gift giving traditions of certain holidays/birthdays and had been made to feel guilty or inadequate in that way on multiple occasions even though I basically had no money to spend on gifts and the ones I did manage to gift I had to strategically siphon money off of odd income sources to save up and get.
​
Obviously she knew what my attention was being consumed by. Once I was done, I personally felt hurt and betrayed by her for the first time in our then 7 year relationship. Knowing things I had done without due to "budgeting constraints" and feeling guilty when I did splurge on rare occasions for years, and living in a habitual state of knowing that if I need something mildly pricey I'd end up asking a month or two in a row and maybe being able to spend on it 3 months down the road ( not the way I had lived prior to joining our finances when I had over 10K in savings and always felt secure I could cover unexpected financial emergencies etc ).
​
Of course we talked about how I was feeling, the pattern I was seeing, she admitted she is great at execution when someone else is making the financial decisions but is poor at self restraint when it comes to her making spending choices. We talked about how to change things going forward and agreed that it makes sense to split our finances, then work jointly to cover costs that make sense to split. Beginning of February she asked for 2 months before handing over my income so she could make a smooth transition and not leave anything falling through the cracks. With a light at the end of the tunnel and a plan in place I agreed without concern to those terms.
​
Now we're at the end of the year, I have enjoyed very little change in my/our life since doubling my income the last year, our checking still ends up at a 0 balance every month with a couple of cards maintaining a revolving 3-9K/mo credit card payoff, and each month she has asked to postpone one pay check again and again (I am paid monthly).
​
I just applied for a bank account & credit card so I can move my direct deposit over starting in January 2019 and begin building my personal credit history since I basically have none but I'm basically setting all this up behind her back and I'm going to tell her once this months paycheck hits our joint account that as of the January pay period I am taking back my income.
​
Factually I know in my head I'm not wrong to do this but I'm feeling guilty and like its an ass hole move.
​
Thoughts?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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9wpa9m
|
{
"description": "not helping my wife more",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for not helping my wife more?
|
My wife and I have a son who was born a few months ago. Lately she has been unhappy with me, saying she feels like a "single mom" and that I'm just a "live-in child support paycheck". This hurts because I honestly think I am doing as much as I can.
She's a stay at home mom. I work 10-12 hour days, 5 days a week at a factory. I stand on my feet all day doing the same monotonous thing over and over apart from a 30 minute lunch break. I wake up at 3pm, get to work by 4 and then I'm home between 2-4am depending on the workload. I make good money doing this so even though it sucks, I keep it going. Once I get home I like to watch TV until about 7 and then I go to sleep, but in that time I feed the baby when he wakes up (he still isn't sleeping through the night, he gets up every couple hours to be fed and changed and goes right back to sleep).
She is upset because I don't want to wake up early to watch him so she can get a couple hour nap in. She isn't lazy by any means, don't get me wrong, but I feel like her responsibilities are way easier than mine. The baby is usually up by 6-7 so she takes him out of our room (he doesn't have a nursery) in order to let me sleep better without interruption, which I really appreciate. She spends the day with him, he fights sleep but will usually nap for an hour or two at a time. I tell her she should sleep during these periods but SHE CHOOSES most of his nap times to get things done around the house or fuck around on the internet or watch a show. Even though she knows once he is up, he's up and wants constant entertainment and doesn't wanna be put down for longer than 20 mins at a time. 6:30-7pm is bath time, she feeds him and then he is down for the night by 9-10pm. She complains that she is exhausted because he wakes up every 1-2 hours but by my calculations, even with that, she gets a good 6-8 hours of sleep a night. Yet she still wants me to wake up some days and watch him so she can nap for a couple hours, because she is "worn out".
So, am I an asshole for telling her no? Because she has the easier job out of both of us?
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HISTORICAL
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afcsik
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{
"description": "asking the volume to be lower on tv or computer all the time",
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|
AITA for asking the volume to be lower on TV or computer all the time?
|
So I believe I must be a HSP ( highly sensitive person) and further more Senonsory Defensive.
When my sister lived with me a couple years ago she always had the volume up louder then my ears appreciate, she is hearing impaired, my mom is too and growing up the volume was always too loud so I just stayed out of the room with TV. I am blessed like my grandma with good hearing. My sister and I got into many arguments over volume.
She moved out and now I live with my boyfriend. He is hearing is not so great so he has everything at full volume where I am on the entire opposite spectrum where I only need it up a couple of pegs on from mute. At work when I am listening to music I have it on some of the lowest volume. The only time I listen to something loud is when I am driving with windows down.
So our daily volume works like this, he turns it up and it hurts my ears, I ask him to turn it down, we compromise on a volume then a little later when I am not looking he turns it up. I typically leave the room if I dont want to confront.
What our biggest issue happens when we are in bed and he streams something from his laptop. He typically has it at full volume, I will ask him to turn it down to half, I would prefer it down to like 3 notches from mute but of course that would not work. He turns it down to half but then a couple minutes later he turns it back up and if I ask, he gets upset saying he can't hear.
I can't sleep with the loud volume and I am someone who typically falls asleep really fast. If he falls asleep first I then have to deal with his snoring which is sometimes difficult.
I have tried dollar tree ear plugplugs but I fear that if the apartment fire alarm when off I wouldn't hear it since I am a deep sleeper and the last ones that have gone off it took me awhile to wake up from.
He doesn't like headphones and thinks I need to put up with it.
It rings my ears and even at this point I am in a different room then him and his football is blasting and its ringing my ears so obviously something must be wrong with me if my head is hurting and it's not even in the same room.
We also struggle with touching sensitivities where I dont like him touching my spine as it ends up giving me spasms, or he might lean against my back with his 300 pound body and that also triggers my back pain. Sometimes if he touches my arm it hurts.
I also dont need a lot of light and he keeps all lights on and I have to sleep with eye masks as he likes turning on lights in middle of night or just keeping them on.
Smells also bother me, cigarette smoke, perfume, even coffee. Anything strong.
Which makes me think I am an HSP and have some type of sensory disorder. I just found out about this disorder the other day and he thinks that makes a lot of sense. I found a book to read on it but it's all just really frustrating because he says I am over reacting and justifies his needs over mine.
TD:LR
My boyfriend has trouble hearing the TV / Laptop Volume and wants it on very high.
I have sensitive hearing and want it down low.
Am I the asshole for wanting the volume down low where it may be difficult for him to hear the show?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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DNpUfVHxX81RP8c2xJRwpYq4X0qRjawz
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agdj9p
|
{
"description": "telling my parents they need to help clean the house",
"pronormative_score": 5,
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}
|
AITA for telling my parents they need to help clean the house?
|
So my dad is retired my mom has a job.
Me and my bro are left to clean a fucking mess of a place, as my parents have tons of memorabilia and stuff from their pasts they won’t go through and won’t let me and bro go through to clean. So it gets piled.
Our regular house life sucks because no one picks up anything but me and bro. Mom and Dad day they had kids for a reason.
So this shit was getting old, me and bro would clean, dad would come out of his room tell us nothing (even though we had been working all day) was done and yell at us, then mom would come home and say the same thing.
I finally broke and yelled at them saying that if they wanted a clean place they needed to contribute to the cleanliness of our house! Not let 2 teenagers clean up everything, that we need help!
They called me ungrateful and shit and took away me and bros electronics.
So now bro is pissed at me and mom and dad won’t talk except to yell at me.
AITA?
TL;DR : House is a wreck me and my bro do our best but their is no way we can keep up with our work. Dad and Mom yells constantly about messy ass house though they never help clean and I snap and tell them,” if you want a clean house help clean it!”
AITA for wanting them to help?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a9tyxERUALOj0HejPV6evs4AEzn1giyL
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ak39gl
|
{
"description": "having an outburst at a family member",
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|
AITA for having an outburst at a family member?
|
So context for this. After going to my parents house for the weekend (im 18 and live with my boyfriend) my grandmother had come over. After awhile she started to talk shit about me when she thought I could hear (I dont have well hearing due to listening to loud music when I was younger). After becoming a bit pissed I had said "what the fuck did I ever do to you?" and going to the room I was staying in for the weekend (note, I am known for small outbursts due to mental issues ive had since I was a younger child and to avoid further harm I run away normally to a room) when I heard my mother walking in the hall to the room I was in. She then started to punch and kick me (I never thought much of it since this was a normal thing for me while ive been growing up plus she was known for bipolar and borderline personality disorder) and yell at me how I "should respect my grandmother" and how "im too young to curse like that" (which I understand her view, as I know I should respect other people but have a hard time with my anger due to my mental health). after she went away I was going to text my boyfriend asking him to pick me up so I didn't have to deal with this, but I noticed she took my phone in the heat of the fight, and decided to go ask for it back so I could leave. After going to ask her for the phone back, she starts again asking "why I left the room" and after I told her I needed to text my boyfriend so I could leave, she told me I needed to spend time with my family and I wouldn't get my phone back till Sunday night when I leave (this was Friday evening). After another argument she made me have an anxiety attack (I normally can calm down before any of that comes but the way I was being yelled at overwhelmed me) and while that happened she laughed at me calling me rude things (all having to do with mental issues of mine) such as calling me an "autistic retard". After the weekend was over I got my phone back and told my boyfriend everything, and now he doesn't want me to go back there. Yet I dont know who was In the wrong in this argument.
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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E8c0jPSEnW63gsYV7Zl8bNYZkExYR15c
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ajbnam
|
{
"description": "cutting out half of my family out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for cutting out half of my family out of my life?
|
It's something that greatly bothered me for a while and I'd really like some opinions on probably the most controversial situation of my life. It requires a lot of backstory and is probably going to be pretty dragged out, but I'll try to keep it short or just put a TLDR at the end.
I feel the need to put some trigger warning for intense slut-shaming and sexism because there is a lot of that.
​
So, my father had passed away due to pancreatic cancer twelve years ago in 2006. He was diangnosed and died within half a year. It was very sudden for everyone, and at the end my mom was left a widow with two daughters aged 16 and 8 - me and my sister - to take care on her own. And she did a splendid job, in my opinion - two years after that she took a risk and we moved from my small hometown to a capital of our country, she sought a stressful, but high-paying government job position so support us and give us a possibility for a good education and prospects we otherwise wouldn't be able to reach if we stayed in our hometown. It was a terrible time - we were all devastated, lonely and stressed. Mom was busy working all the time and my sister soon left to study abroad (which also required money, obviously, so me and mom were getting by on whatever was left from paying her tuition that she did on her own) and we fought all the time, with her always asking me to work harder and complain less because she didn't have it easy herself and didn't need any more complaints. During that time I tried to kill myself for the first time and was diagnosed with clinical depression. Mom realised how much I suffered and our relationship changed then. It's still rocky, but I love her and admire her greatly as I recognise now how much she'd done for me and my sister.
And then there's my father's part of the family - my uncle and my grandmother. I'll try to be objective about them, but it's really difficult for me. There's almost no good memories with them ever since my dad passed away. Quite on the contrary - it's like they're trying to break me apart from my mom's family by playing victim all the time and antagonising my mother, going as far as to say she's to blame for my father's death, saying shit like "she hasn't done enough to save him" or "she should've done more" (although nobody specifies what else she could do other than entrust him to doctors and their expertise).
​
The one who's at it the most is my gradmother from father's side - for the sake of convenience, let's call her Mary. And this woman is the most hypocritical person in the whle story. Grandpa passed away in early 2000's and not a year later she just decided to illegally move to Italy and just live there for no reason. Mary was in her 60's when that happened. A couple of years later she *married* (**!**) an Italian plumber and decided to stay in Italy as a now-citizen. I was around 4 years old when she emmigrated, so, granted, I don't remember her from the time when she wasn't a grief-stricken mother. And then she was busy being an illegal immigrant for years, so she never visited back home to check on us until the day she learned about my dad and his approaching passing. I literally never knew Mary as a person because she was always somewhere else, doing whatever she felt like doing and not being a grandmother. Once a year she'd send us a parchel with used clothes she was collecting from her acquantinces in Italy, half of which were hideous and the others were of wrong sizes so we never wore any of what she was sending us. That was the extent her input in my upbringing. But now that I've grown up and she doesn't need to help with anything since I got my education and I already have a job, she's happy to nag me about "importance of family", implying that I have to keep in touch or else I'm a bad granddaughter.
Speaking of which, Mary always hated my mother, going as far as to reserting to defamation when my father proposed to my mom. It's been proven she forged a fake letter addressed to my father, explaining just how huge of a slut my mother is and how he shouldn't marry such a skank. My dad said "I don't believe this bs" and went to have a happy married life with the woman he loved, but Mary remained bitter. Now that my dad is not here to defend my mother's dignity, she's back at it again, always accusing my mother of plotting against her, always calling her a slut for moving on from my father and having a relationship five years after he died (my mom never remarried though, unlike her). So one time my mom financed my trip to Italy for a summer when I was 15, telling me to go and spend time with her and maybe clearing up whatever misunderstandings we have because "she's your grandmother and your father wouldn't be happy to know you too are on such bad terms". Whatever, I thought, and went there. We spent a lot of time together - more than I ever did for 15 years of my life - and she still wouldn't shut up about my mother being a slut. To which I sat her down and told her "Okay, listen. I'm not going to tolerate you referring to my mother this way. Not only is this unbelievably unfair to her, you're basically insulting me by calling her names since I'm, y'know, her daughter? So here's the deal - either you stop insulting my mother and we remain on good terms, or I'll simply stop talking to you because there's no way I'm tolerating this kind of behaviour". She agreed and I even remember her saying something along the lines of "You're so much like your father" and I felt happy to finally put this behind us. But of course it wasn't this easy. Fast-forward to a year later, she visits our asscrack-country and, as per usual, she doesn't notify anyone in the family about it, expecting others to telepathically sense her presence and call her. Obviously, that doesn't happen. Then she calls not me, but my other grandma - my mother's mother - and asks her "why your daughter forbids \[my name\] from talking to me?" That grandma relays this info to me and, furious, I call Mary to set the record straight. I tell her "Why the fuck do you still insist that my mother is plotting something after I clearly told you to stop?", to which she screeched on the phone, telling me she never said that. I asked her if she's implying that my other grandma fabricated this then and lied to me, to which she goes in full-on hysteria, yelling that yes, we're all liars and sluts and then curses me to the best extent of what Russian allows (and Russian is very, very creative with its cursing), the crux of it being that I'm "just as much of a lyign cunt as my mother". After she's done, she hangs up on me. I sat there, completely dumbfounded and frozen in shock, until my mom shook me back to consciousness. After I realised what's just happened, I told my family that this day marks the day this woman doesn't exist for me anymore. And the moment I said that I felt such an overwhelming relief that even now, years later, I cannot bring myself to truly regret my decision to never speak to her again.
Then there is my uncle, let's call him Richard, or Dick for short. He's a lonely, obese Nice Guy^((TM)) in his mid-50's, was never married and doesn't have his own kids. He's reclusive, but filthy rich - I don't know what kind of business he has, but he always had the best cars, a lot of real estate in the capital and outside of it, could afford to travel anywhere anytime and now my sister tells me he bought a house in Italy after he got his Italian citizenship through being Mary's son. But the biggest problem with him is that he's an intense Catholic (this whole part of this family is). After my dad passed away, he was just a bit too enthusiastic about replacing my father, always ephasising how "me and your father are of the same blood" and how there's no one better fitted for this role than him. Even as a kid I felt weird about it, telling him that I do have a father and just because he's dead doesn't mean I need a replacement. Dick insisted, however, that he "teaches me in his fatherly ways" and everyone in the family insisted I let him do that because "well, he kinda has a point of your father being dead". His idea of being an exemplary father was to either 1) take me out to dinner all the time I felt sad, indirectly supporting my binge eating disorder, and 2) taking me to church whenever possible, forcing me to partake in masses and praying when I expressed to him the fact that I don't believe in God and I don't want to waste my time worshipping an imaginary friend. In the end after a couple of debates on the matter of religion he conscieded the second activity, but that left him with only luring me with money and food since his personality just simply didn't cut it. He's bitter about women and is quite sexist, always saying that "real women make babies and wisely let men be in charge of making them happy". It just always rubbed me the wrong way and I let him know that it does. Still, his Nice Guy nature always wins and whenever we argue about this, Dick just casually tells me "to listen to a man before it's too late for me" while promising me to give me money whenever we meet. I just feel like a escort every time that happens too, it's just so derogative. So two years ago when the fallout between me and Mary happened, he, much like a Nice Guy he is, stood on the side of his mommy and was put on ignore ever since along with her.
Now, there's a couple of things I want to say. I realize that twelve years ago these people had lost their son and a brother and this loss is as irredeemable for them as it is for us, losing a husband and a father. My father was a great man who kept us all together like a glue and with his passing we all were fucked up. We all had to learn how to be a family again from scratch. But somehow my mom pulled her shit together a
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HISTORICAL
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JxdswYmnachTuigcU4ZGRljGpIBUwV1e
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b5c7kv
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{
"description": "banning my SIL from my home",
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|
AITA Banning my SIL from my Home
|
My wife and I have tried for years to have children. We recently found out we were having twins, and we were super excited to tell everyone! My SIL did not react like we thought she would. Her first suggestion on hearing the news was that we get an abortion, when we told her no she started walking through the house asking for things we couldn't use when the baby got there. We told her no, and she said she was sorry, and offered to take my wife out for lunch and maybe shopping for some baby things. Half an hour later, I get a call from my wife, her sister had driven her to an abortion clinic, and was trying to force her to get an abortion.
​
I don't know her side, or her reasons, I'm sorry. But AITA for telling her she's no longer welcome?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
5glZLJRGi3eiUqqOyn5R83vVsG5cfhrb
|
axc8m0
|
{
"description": "announcing my eds early on",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for announcing my EDs early on?
|
So a month or two ago I started what we could call, I guess, "eating disordered behaviors". Not fitting neatly into one category but still eating disordered. (User who attacked me, if you are reading this, yeah I tend to go above my limit sometimes. Ok often. While it can't be considered ana it is still disordered.) I was naive to the internet at the time and decided to post about it on my YouTube, for support (i believed it to be the start of anorexia at the time. Yeah I was naive and uninformed). I post and a few days later I find this a-hole commenting that I'm lying and that I don't have anorexia because anorexics don't publicly announce their illness. I consider myself to be reasonable and they didn't really think, I'm just asking for support. But it got me wondering, AITA for announcing my ED early on when it might not even progress fully? Just wondering. (User who attacked me, don't come into this, biased b*tch. (Yes I know I was rude and called the user a bitch and asshole. That's because they were pretty rude to me, and didn't acknowledge the fact that I was just asking for help. No I won't give you their reddit or yt, please do not attack them.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
8XIFsEwuwa5M8F9BNbageOe8gEhMyFuQ
|
b6bmb4
|
{
"description": "demanding my mother in law show me some respect as I do her or my son won't be going to her house",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for demanding my mother in law show me some respect as I do her or my son won’t be going to her house.
|
My mother in law is crazy. Literally. She’s on a lot of medication and if something doesn’t go HER way she acts like an immature child. For example, today I called to tell her that I was going to pick my son up and my step son. She started shouting in the phone why are you picking up “step son?” He doesn’t need to go... he said he’s not going. I kindly responded I know he said that however he’s coming. She started yelling at me again saying he doesn’t want to come so what’s the purpose. I repeated again that he was coming. Then, even though I don’t feel I should have to go into explaining but I did. I explained I was picking him up to get a haircut. She started shouting “That’s all you had to say”. I said I will be bringing him back, and she started shouting “nah if he leave he don’t need to come back”. I said okay I’ll let you and your son handle this. (Mind you she doesn’t want him to leave but is saying this to just say it).
At this point, I said have a great day and hung up. When I picked both boys up, she didn’t speak or say anything. I spoke and she said “mm”. I asked if she’d like to speak with me and she said “they stuff is in there” I said okay. Thanks. Have a great day and left.
So AITA for demanding she show me respect or my son can’t go over there bc I don’t know what she may say to him or how she may treat him. AITA for requesting my husband speak with his mother but not be disrespectful but address these issues?
Thanks.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7vxqTIGJduugxyef2MmS3UdkXDrBDPrt
|
aa5hpx
|
{
"description": "telling my sister to knock it off",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my sister to knock it off?
|
So recently I was up pretty late the other night and while I’m lying down trying to fall asleep I heard some weird noises coming from my sister’s bed. Before moving forward I should note me and my siblings all share a room, with my little brother and I sharing a bunk bed and my sister has her own bed right next to it. So I hear what distinctly sounds like **moaning** which can obviously only mean one thing. Now I was mortified at the thought so I immediately told her “knock it off”. She did and we never spoke of it again. A couple days ago I told my friends about it and one of them is saying I’m an asshole and a “cuck” for denying my sister even though she was being loud. He said that shutting her down like that only serves to embarrass her and that stopping her only served to make her feel uncomfortable ever doing it again in the future. I’m adamant I did the right thing but he’s sure I’m a massive asshole. So AITA for telling my sister to knock off her what my friend likes to call “fun time”?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZHajlKk6rzz7tTpwIpKNNtYicrLejTYA
|
b2rink
|
{
"description": "telling my liberal roommate that a YouTuber he just discovered is a self-proclaimed white supremacist",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I told my liberal roommate that a YouTuber he just discovered is a self-proclaimed white supremacist?
|
I walked into the living room and found to my surprise that my very liberal, hippie roommate was watching a comedic YouTube channel that is hosted by someone who is a self-proclaimed White supremacist.
I said “Is this a <blank> video? And he replied “Yeah man I just discovered their old videos, they’re so funny!”
He’s really enjoying the funny, non-political videos but I know it would ruin them for him if he looked into the person’s views.
Would I be the asshole if I tipped him off? Should I just let him enjoy the videos and maybe discover on his own?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
n6LLW9rxQe5GIISmITMjVWQDatAmmUZD
|
avffay
|
{
"description": "launching a smear campaign over a powerpoint presentation",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for launching a smear campaign over a powerpoint presentation?
|
I'm a college student and in one of my classes have to do a group presentation. One of the girls in my group is running for student body president. I even signed her candidacy petition. She's involved in a lot of student organizations so her schedule is pretty hectic.
&#x200B;
Our group only met once to discuss the presentation, and the rest of the work was done remotely. This girl did not attend the meeting and did nothing to contribute. Not a single bullet point, not a single PowerPoint slide, no research that any of us saw. The rest of us went ahead and finished the project last night (the presentation is today).
&#x200B;
I was texting some friends in a group chat this morning griping about her freeloading. I said some pretty nasty things about her character and urged them not to vote for her for student government. And I truly feel that way. I get that she has a busy schedule, but if she can't make time for academics (the entire point of university) how can we expect her to be a responsible president?
&#x200B;
One of the people in the group chat is friends with the girl and tried to defend her. Shortly after, I got a message from the girl asking if she should add anything to the presentation. This was suspicious because 1, it was two hours before our presentation, and 2, she contacted me directly instead of the entire group. My friend told me he didn't say anything, but I'm still suspicious.
&#x200B;
I was nasty with some of my comments about her character, and worry that I'm the bad guy if word got back to her. Any thoughts?
&#x200B;
TL;DR - Group project member didn't contribute to the project, so I told people not to vote for her for student government. A mutual friend *might* have told her I said this.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
rE56nBFc3c3pSmSRvsJD6DZdtqz5vRa2
|
b488jp
|
{
"description": "always avoiding my sister",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for always avoiding my sister?
|
So, I live in a house with my parents, my grandma, and my 3 siblings. I interact with them often, but I try to avoid my sister as much as possible— even when she initiates conversation with me.
First things first: She’s a 15 yo with ADHD, Asperger’s, depression, and anxiety. She spends a lot of time in our room (we share a bunk bed) drawing and talking to friends on Discord, and she has a hard time doing work that she needs to (i.e. schoolwork, homework, chores.)
I try to be patient with her because of her mental state, but the truth is, she has extreme anger issues. And she can be SCARY. One, as my sister, she knows exactly how to make me angry or sad, and she manipulates my emotions often. Two, when we argue, she has been known to hurt me. I know I’m TA when we argue because I shouldn’t keep going (I’m the oldest and it should be my responsibility to be the bigger person,) but when it gets too far, I suffer the consequences.
The biggest example of this was when we were arguing about how neither of us do our chores correctly (I brought up her chore after she brought up mine, which, again, was wrong.) However, once it escalated too much, she threw her hot soup at me. I jumped away, but it got on my upper thigh. I was writhing in pain. I had to take a cold shower, but the damage was done. She had given me second degree burns.
A few days later, she was eating soup again. I must’ve looked frightened because she said “stop looking scared, it’s not even hot.” I told her I had the right to be scared and she said I didn’t, since it happened in the past. I was appalled. I was still hurting from the burn she gave me, and she told me it didn’t matter anymore? I stopped talking afterwards and just got ready for school.
She’s done similar things before, just not as severe as that one. I still have the burn mark on my thigh (which she later said must’ve been a lie, and to “show her” even though it would require me to pull down my pants for her to see.) So, I’ve taken to avoiding her mostly (we still talk from time to time when she’s calm.) But I feel like I might be in the wrong because she has those mental afflictions, and she claims to be trying to get better... Whenever she gets angry, though, I get scared, no matter how angry she is. Sometimes when she goes to bed angry I sleep in my brother’s room instead. I’m not sure if that’s fair, though.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to go near my sister at all? Will give INFO if needed.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Iea19F5lAYXqgx9dEi4TZ1A1CC3cQGBY
|
ax11gz
|
{
"description": "ending up eating over 1/2 of the ice cream my dad bought me and my brother",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ending up eating over 1/2 of the ice cream my dad bought me and my brother?
|
Obligatory mobile-user warning. And also insignificant story I'm curious about warning.
No one has actually gotten upset about this, but I'm just curious what people think of this situation. So my dad ended up buying two tubs of ice cream for me(18F) and my brother(18M). One of them was chocolate chip cookie dough flavor, which both me and my brother like, and one was mint chocolate chip flavor, which I like but my brother doesn't. So my brother scoops up cookie dough ice cream and I scoop up both flavors since those are the flavors we like.
Over the course of the ice cream's existence, I eat a bit of each flavor over the course of a few days until my brother ends up eating the rest of the cookie dough ice cream and then I end up finishing the mint ice cream. I ended up getting more ice cream than my brother, but at the same time I didn't choose the flavors my dad got and it was my brother's choice not to eat the mint ice cream. No one has made a fuss over it or even mentioned it, but I'm just wondering if eating the flavor of ice cream that we both like when I could eat the flavor he didn't like so that the ice cream was split evenly was an asshole move. So AITA for getting more of the ice cream or was eating both flavors a fair thing to do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
peI78bp8uEzOBXJRiQT1Jh7A5F4LE8FT
|
asr38q
|
{
"description": "refusing to let my nephew play Tetris99",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for refusing to let my nephew play Tetris99?
|
My 7 year old nephew came over this weekend with my SIL, and I happened to be playing Tetris99 on the TV.
After watching me play a while, he asked if he could try. I lovingly but sternly told him that he could not. The game keeps track of my all of my stats, and I didn't want him ruining my win ratio.
This is where my SIL stepped in, and asked if he could just try it out. I told her that if she wanted, she could pay for a Nintendo online account for him and I'd be glad to let him play on my switch.
I also offered to let him play Zelda or Mario or Smash Brothers. Here's the kicker. I even offered to let him play Puyo Puyo Tetris, which is BASICALLY THE SAME GAME.
This is when he started crying and throwing a fit. Seeing as my SIL clearly did not know how to parent, I simply undocked the switch and stepped away from all the drama.
I later found out from my wife that the SIL was very upset and left soon after.
Granted, the Nintendo Switch was a gift from them, but I don't think that gives their son to come over and act like he owns the place. I should also mention that I pay for the Nintendo Switch Online acccount.
She hasn't contacted me to apologize for her son's behavior, but I asked my wife to let her know that if she wants to venmo us the twenty dollars I'd be glad to set up his account for him.
I get that kids sometimes throw tantrums, but I feel like giving in (like my SIL wanted me to) only reinforces that type of behavior. My wife thinks I should have let him try, but I don't even let her play on my account, so why would I make an exception for him?
AITA for refusing to let my nephew play on my Tetris99 account?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
fygow8Ss94wFkKaNkvyrgIj65GzOf2IB
|
aqbf9y
|
{
"description": "ignoring my stepmom because she's treating my dad like shit",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA For ignoring my stepmom because she's treating my dad like shit.
|
So about a month ago my stepmom started refusing to let my dad see her phone, was leaving the house way more often than she ever did, and straight up just treating my dad like complete trash; yelling at him for nothing, not being thankful for him cooking dinner, not even sleeping in the same bed as him.
He's been understandably torn up and angry about it, and confided in me about it all. Since then I've ignored her texts, Facebook posts she tags me in, everything.
Today is my birthday and I didn't respond to her birthday wish to me and she angrily texted me asking why the hell I'm ignoring her all the time. I have no intention to talk to her, because if I do, I won't be saying anything nice. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
e6eEftx9fvBKIdjkDYfFsbA2DzI72DR9
|
b6y537
|
{
"description": "cutting off my friend over a girl and Xbox",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For cutting off my friend over a girl and Xbox?
|
So my friend and I have known each other for about 5 years give or take, we met in high school. We weren’t really all that close until about 3 years back, and we have been good buddies ever since. I now live across the country, so we meet up by talking and playing through Xbox when our days are over, and we do this about 3-4 times a week.
My friend has had flings with a few girls since we started doing this, and on nights we play, he will invite me to the party, then walk away from his Xbox to talk to a girl for upwards of 2-3 hours. It never really bothered me too much I guess. I saw it as I was not his only priority in life and he has much more important things to do than sit and play Xbox a lot.
Recently though, he met this girl who plays Xbox herself. I thought this would actually work to my advantage because that meant he wouldn’t be leaving me alone while he talks to her. I was wrong though, and ever since she came about, he acts like he has to do everything to impress her. These things include embarrassing me and making fun of me, which apparently she finds funny. I thought I would go along with it, but I eventually realized how nasty they were getting towards me and it felt like I was just there for entertainment purposes. He’s known this girl for two weeks.
A few nights ago I was fed up and told my friend that he could find someone else to play and talk with. I was polite about it, but he didn’t take it too kindly. We haven’t talked since.
I know people will see this as ridiculous but this was my only big way of communicating with him and this was how we bonded. I now wonder if what I did was wrong, and that maybe I was just upset he was giving attention to other people.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
zUNKmKtu94cFOXqREaQwgrrpZut4EER2
|
a68lb0
|
{
"description": "calling people monkeys",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for calling people monkeys?
|
So. Rather than calling people idiots or retards, I call them monkeys. This is simply due to the amount of hate I got for so long calling people retards when they would do something dumb.
I never meant anything bad by it but it was just like “Oh you fucked up? You retard.” But so many people continued to give me a bunch of hate for calling people retards because it’s “offensive to those with special needs”.
So after a while of censoring myself from calling people retards, I went through probably a 100 different ways of calling people retards in an effort to not offend someone. The reason by the way that I don’t just say “you idiot” or “you dumbass” is a mixture of reasons. For one, calling someone an idiot isn’t “satisfying”. It’s so plain and boring to me and doesn’t sound like the person really messed up. I also stray away from dumbass because I don’t want to curse at people all the time.
Thus far the only word that’s given the amount of meaning and satisfaction when said is “you monkey”. I came to this from watching videos on youtube and seeing that monkeys aren’t the brightest of creatures. They throw poop and are very “wild” animals. They don’t do many things with much intelligence, and are (to my knowledge) one of the more dumber species compared to humans, gorillas, apes, chimps, orangutans etc.
In the last few months however, I’ve started to get called a racist for calling people monkeys. The most common reason is that it was a derogatory term used to demean African-Americans. The second most common is that members of the KKK call African-Americans monkeys even today.
Thus my question: Is it okay that I call people monkeys when they do or say something stupid?
TLDR: I call people monkeys when they make a fuckup. I do it because it’s a satisfying word to call someone when they mess up because it’s just a simple “You monkey.” - Much more powerful than calling someone a dumbass or idiot because monkeys aren’t in the slightest bright animals.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 11,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 11
}
|
WRONG
|
8aa5ElN16SkI0BuFNdM4DGVaaIJiseQJ
|
b105gr
|
{
"description": "giving my old phone to my mother instead of my wife",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for giving my old phone to my mother instead of my wife
|
My wife and I have the same phone. A while ago her screen cracked, but she was fine with it, didn't want to get the glass repaired (because she could live with the crack) and also didn't want a new phone because she didn't want to produce unnecessary trash by buying new phones all the time.
My mother has a very old phone, cannot even watch videos with it and using it really sucks. When I was once helping her transferring photos I mentioned that she can have my phone once I buy a new one and that I am waiting for a specific model that should be released in a few months.
So today I ordered the new phone and told my wife. She then asked if she can have the old one and I told her that I already promised to give it to my mom.
So now she says she is disappointed in me and said "I made a mistake in thinking we where more tight". This sentence really bugs me, because to me it feels emotional manipulation. I feel like I did nothing wrong. Did I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ej9bbvUuuil97INEJsN1efkbBl5wqh4Z
|
atvmcn
|
{
"description": "siding with my grandma on how she treated my grandfather's bastard kid",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for siding with my grandma on how she treated my grandfather's bastard kid (he cheated on her and made her raise the kid)?
|
So this requires a bit of backstory but I'll make this as abridged as I can. It's an all-out family brawl now because my siblings are all calling me a HUGE FUCKING asshole and I don't see it. I think I'm the only one willing to stand for my grandma and the shitty cards she was dealt.
Anyways, back in the 1970s (this is in Taiwan btw), my grandpa (now deceased) brought home a baby that turned out to be his. He was cheating on my grandma with this music teacher and she got pregnant and secretly had the baby because back then it was a big deal to be single and pregnant. Well, this isn't really the most scandalous bit in our family.
What happened later is that my grandma raised this baby for a while then when she turned four my grandma let her be adopted away by a family she won't say. This was during the day when my grandpa was at work and her other kids all at school. My mom and uncles all remember her but none of them know where she went. They've asked my grandma for years but she won't tell anyone. My grandpa supposedly died of a broken heart.
My mom and uncles are convinced something happened to the little girl (like my grandma killed her or trafficked her) and they've always had a rocky relationship with her. HOWEVER, the older I am the more disgusted I am at hearing about how my grandma was treated by my grandpa. He was terrible. He was supposedly verbally abusive and cheated on her their entire marriage. In modern day, he would be considered the classic abusive husband and she would've divorced him. I think she did the right thing giving away the bastard kid. It wasn't hers and demanding her to raise it was insult to injury.
I voiced this the other day to my siblings and they all went off on me, saying that my grandma was a monster and that's why they wont go see her in Taiwan. I argued that they've been brainwashed by my mom and her brothers because domestic abuse wasn't a big deal back then. I said that my grandmother had no choice and she did the best she could. However, I was being called a massive asshole, c\*nt, etc.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
WRONG
|
Ot5ab7Z28FiWzyNCnJGZcD0H6CW8AfAv
|
amwniq
|
{
"description": "yelling at someone else's kid for playing",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for yelling at someone else's kid for playing?
|
Here's a little backstory. I work for a Jewish temple which also as a preschool ( and grade school a few days out of the week). On Saturdays, they have a program which means any and all toys for the preschool are locked up in a separate room. This Saturday however, we had a catered event so we didn't need to worry about the Kuddish (Saturday Jewish lunch) so my co-worker and I decided to rest the room for the preschool.
The kids would knock on the door trying to get in and "look for something they forgot". I would let the kids enter room one at a time so they won't waste time or find a hiding spot from their friends and for the time it worked. One group of kids respected the rule and entered one at a time and "looked" (they really just wasted my time) but the other group was a different story.
Before I go further let me explain why kids can't play in the playroom. About a year ago, the main Rabbi saw the kids throw plastic balls, toilet paper and chair. Yes, chairs; metal folding chairs. Ever since that day, we keep all the doors leading to the playroom locked and kids are not allowed to be down there after the program is over.
A brother and sister came down and asked if they could find something. I let the brother come in and told the sister to stay out but she slipped passed me and started playing on the tricycle. I ask her to leave but she didn't. I asked asked a bit firmer but she didn't. So now, I'm mildly aggravated so I took a deep breath and ask again which caused her to snap back with this line "You can't do anything to me," in a matter-of-fact tone.
The brother was running out the room while a parent (not the girl's parent but he had a father look to him) walked in to help me get her out. I had no patiences left for this girl so I took another deep breath and yelled "GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" The girl got up and left in a huff while the parent, slightly stunned, said "You didn't have to yell"
TL;DR: Bratty kid didn't want to leave a room she shouldn't be in forcing me to yell at her. AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Q8CGDxww0yo6lJQf1K5Cl0UphzQoq3yq
|
a5jybq
|
{
"description": "starting to talk with a girl after a year",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for starting to talk with a girl after a year?
|
It bugs me a lot and I'm all stressed. So some back story, a year ago I went to new school, first day of school i saw this girl, I instantly thought that she is perfect looking for me but since she was in my class i thought "I don't have any chance" and said it to my self, like it was a known fact. I didn't talk with her much, December (so 4 months in this school) I met another girl, came closer to her but everything crashed after one month, after that I wasn't looking for a girl,still no contact with the girl from my class. So after it came to the second year of school, 4 months in, at the start of December I thought that I should at least try with this girl, I felt attraction, casually started to talk with her everyday at school. Im almost two weeks in this, we talk in school (like a decent amount of time ~1 hour every day talking just with her) we make eye contact from time to time and smile to each other every time we do, she approaches me and starts talking. (i heard from my female friend, that in friend group of her 'the girl that I like' they many times said that I'm handsome, I'm acting cute and all kinds of compliments, and everyone in my class says that I'm the most likeable person that they know). I'm very calm, kind to others, give everyone help if they need some. Here comes my question Am I doing something wrong, and should stop it? I mean talking with this girl, she likes me and i can tell that for sure. But ohh man I fell so guilty for waiting whole entire year, for last few days felt like I murdered someone. I'm so tired of this feelling and thinking of my self as a (fucking idiot). Is there anything wrong with my actions?
It's my first post, I don't even know if its in right sub, sorry if not but i just can't stand it a day longer. Also sorry for all the grammar and for the text that I wrote if its without any sense, also English isn't my native language.
So guys and girls just help
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
au2t2p
|
{
"description": "not letting my daughter unsupervised around her grandma",
"pronormative_score": 29,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not letting my daughter unsupervised around her grandma?
|
My mother in law and I were never on good terms since we were first introduced, she never liked me because I am an Arab and her daughter is German. However she and her daughter are very close and I always respected that.
She always put herself in the middle of our affairs when it comes to raising our daughter, and she always offered her opinions even when no one asks her for them. She also gives my daughter way too many unhealthy snacks and I always rejected that.
However, long story short, three months ago we were invited at their place and at some point she was trying to force my daughter to eat even if she didn't want to. I demanded that, it she doesn't want to eat that is okay, and once she is hungry she will ask for food by herself (my daughter is three years old). The grandma then flipped and told me to never disrespect her at her house and that she will never allow me here again if I don't respect her authority. I told her to put her authority up her ass and made sure that she has absolutely none on me our my kid. And said we will never visit you again. Then she asked me to leave the house and wanted to take my daughter from me. (my wife was out grocery shopping and she didn't witness any of this). I absolutely lost it and took my kid from her hand and pushed her out of the room we were at the moment, and closed the door shut. At that moment I was really pissed that my daughter had to see all of this and started calling my wife to come. Suddenly I hear my mother in law outside the room talking with a police officer on the phone. She called them and told them that I assaulted her. Skip to half an hour later my wife comes home and is very saddened by all what happened and wanted to go home. I said let's wait for the police to not seem that I am running away. Police arrive, and they basically laughed the matter away, and ended up telling the mother in law that if she wants to press charges she will need a medical certificate that she was assaulted (nothing happened to her whatsoever).
My biggest problem with all of this was something that happened just before the arrival of the police, as my wife was asking me to pack and go home I heard the mother in law saying to my three years old girl :"you're papa will taken away by the police now" which made my daughter cry and be very sad the whole day, and she kept asking me "daddy are you going to be taken away?" the whole week basically, which I found truly heart breaking.
Cut to today, we received a surprise visit from my in laws and they shamelessly asked if they take our daughter with them for a week to Paris and they already booked all the tickets including tickets to Disneyland there.
I declined and said that to the grandparents that neither of them will ever be able to spend any time with her without me or the mother being present.
So basically my question am I going too far with baning them form seeing her without us being present?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
amayue
|
{
"description": "getting a septum piercing even though my family hates them",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for getting a septum piercing even though my family hates them?
|
I’m 18, at home for the next year getting my massage license before heading to college. I’m very very close to my family and value their opinions—except for one thing.
I have multiple piercings and several tattoos. My family have always been pretty lax and open about hair dyeing and moderate (nose/ear) piercings. However, they despise any others. But I love the look of septum piercings. My friend got one recently and I loved it. My family (and a few friends) hates it and think it looks awful.
I have been having some problems with self-confidence since it’s freezing here and I only feel like wearing bum clothes. In my opinion, a few piercings kind of make it look more like bumming around is intentional rather than I just gave up on life.
So WIBTA if I went and got a septum without anyone knowing? WIBTA if I hid it from them when at home?
Also my parents are on a trip for a few weeks and would have no idea.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
tvsnyzuMWmpDLwhF0PYWS2y6rN0KgmYE
|
aychgb
|
{
"description": "coming out to family members at my grandfather's birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
WIBTA if I came out to family members at my grandfather's birthday party
|
Tldr: I don't want to pretend to be straight, but I don't want to cause drama either
My family is very religious and when I came out to my parents 2 years ago, they asked/demanded that I keep it a secret so no one they know finds out. I refused to live my life in hiding (they wanted me to always pretend while in my hometown, where I still live, but in my own house), but I still dress like I used to and don't talk about it whenever I'm at family events.
I'm kind of getting tired of that though. I've skipped most family events for a while, because of how weird I feel acting like someone I'm not, and being vague when people ask about my life. I don't care if they hate me or talk behind my back. Most of them I never see anyway.
But my grandfather is turning 75 and the whole family is getting together for it. I think it would be rude of me not to go, my grandfather hasn't done anything to me to warrant me cutting him off, in fact most of my relatives haven't since they don't know I'm gay.
WIBTA if I told people about it while I'm there? I don't plan on making a grand announcement, just telling the truth when people talk to me. But I don't know how people might react, and I don't want to ruin his party. It seems cruel to have him hear such terrible news on his birthday, and while my family is very drama free (they're very polite and formal. People don't yell about things, they just talk about them in hushed small groups, or they all pretend nothing's wrong), I've never seen a relative come out to them before, and I don't know what the fallout could be.
Should I just pretend again?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 13
}
|
WRONG
|
zBotmK84omz2JqzSZvURIN8is8hvGJSN
|
ayi134
|
{
"description": "asking a non-native english speaker to speak more slowly",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking a non-native english speaker to speak more slowly?
|
This happened a while back, but it still bothers me sometimes.
I used to work at a small pizza place and part of my job was to take orders over the phone. One day a man with a very thick Indian accent called to place an order. Through the phonecall I had to ask him to repeat himself multiple times because of his accent, so I told him I was having a difficult time understanding him due to how pronounced his accent was and asked if he could speak a bit more slowly so I could take his order correctly. At the end of the call he told me I had been very rude to him and he was going to speak to my boss about my poor attitude.
Looking back, I don't know what else I could have done in that situation besides continue to ask him to repeat what he was saying. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
55ydxB315pWPVZy1vlfoVbuiPtNPGnJZ
|
9xy7z8
|
{
"description": "cutting a friend out of my life for eating my steak",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA if I cut a friend out of my life for eating my steak?
|
I went out of town for a week and my friend catsitted for me. Before he came, I told him to help himself to anything in my fridge but not eat anything in my freezer. The reason for this is I had many very expensive steaks in there.
Upon returning, I discovered that my friend had eaten one steak: a pound slab of Kobe beef that cost about $120. I confronted him, he denied it. However, there's no one else who could've eaten the steak, and steaks just don't disappear.
The thing is, he also broke the cap of a very expensive ($600 or so) coffee pot I have. This wasn't that big of a deal, since it'd already been broken before and I'd glued it together--but he told me that it spontaneously broke when he poured hot water in the pot (an obvious lie that defies the law of physics; I've used it for months after it was glued back with no problems; anyhow, hot water not poured directly onto this glued bit of porcelain cannot possibly make it spontaneously break).
If he's willing to lie about the cap, I'm pretty sure he's willing to lie about eating one of my steaks (there are other reasons to question his integrity, like how he constantly cheats on his girlfriend, has stolen from his employer, and stolen from another friend of ours). So at this point I have decided to cut him out of my life entirely--while he has been a good friend to me for the most part (except for paying me back money he owes me very, very slowly), I feel I need to draw a line. I was willing to forgive him for breaking the cap of the coffee pot and probably lying about it, but actually eating a steak I specifically told him not to eat and then lying about it after wards seems to be crossing a line, so I'm kicking him out of my life. I haven't told him yet, but I will in the next few days calmly and simply, maybe say something like "I'm sorry but I won't be hanging out with you anymore" or something similar and wishing him well. I'll answer any questions he asks me, but not argue with him and just stop replying if he gets defensive or argumentative.
AITA?
(And, yes, I know I am the asshole for buying a $600 coffee pot and $120 steaks--specifically I want to know if I'm the asshole for ceasing my friendship with this guy.)
**1 CommentShareEdit PostSaveHide**100% Upvoted
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
gQbUyDhSHbElcnC6yAcahjg9pvvxIGtV
|
b4sim0
|
{
"description": "telling my Ex to sign passport papers or loose his parental rights",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA For telling my Ex to sign passport papers or loose his parental rights?
|
Some back story: When my daughter was 7weeks old my Ex-fiance and I broke up, I threw him out and I hadn't seen much of him since. He didn't want visitation and had to be court ordered to pay the bare minimum child support which he does reluctantly and with a lot of arguments and hassle.
I have been saving and plan to take my daughter to Disney Land Tokyo at the end of the year. On the list of items to get is my daughter's passport, and to get that I need her father's signature or it won't be processed.
So yesterday I asked him to sign passport papers or loose his parental rights, of course there was a fight, him telling me I am a bitch and all that, but he tells me he will think about it. I get home and I check my phone and I find my inbox is full of messages from friends and his family saying what I did was horrible.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
x90XJqmPIob9O9Ls5CX0FGuvfllzoyIB
|
awgw8n
|
{
"description": "removing people from the party group chat if they havent confirmed if theyre coming or not",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for removing people from the party group chat if they havent confirmed if theyre coming or not
|
So yeah
The chat has existed for 3 weeks now, if asked twice now who's coming or nah and some people still havent really answered
The party is this weekend and since i dont have a car i cant do all the shopping in one trip and have to know soon how much stuff ill need
So would i be the asshole for removing people basically "uninviting them" if they dont respond by thursday?
(Party is on saturday)
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
INneC31yQFlHUz7iobj9PlPeq51FHMH7
|
afl6m8
|
{
"description": "banning hair dying in our house",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for banning hair dying in our house?
|
So I rent out a house with Roomie A and Roomie B. Roomie A has the master bedroom, and her own massive bathroom. Roomie B and I share the hall bathroom, which is directly in front of the door to my room.
Roomie A had Friend over yesterday and they decided to dye her hair purple. Neither had ever done this before or let the other housemates know this was happening until it was already in progress. I am allergic to strong scents (more like hypersensitive, but they give me migraines and put me in so much pain I can pass out and lose memory if prolonged). Both Roomies know this, Friend did not.
Roomie A and Friend did the whole dying process in the hall bathroom, not her own massive bathroom, because her tub is broken. Roomie B was out for the night and I came home from work to Roomie A mixing the dye for Friend. I asked them to put trash bags or something down to prevent a mess, and they told me they have towels and will clean everything up.
I went to nap in my room (long day)and woke up to the beginnings of a migraine. The chemical smell had seeped through the vents or under my door and I had been breathing it in for at least thirty minutes. Roomie A did have the bathroom fan going the whole time and apologized for the smell. I stuffed a towel under the door and went back to sleep.
This morning, I woke up and can still smell it. I am more sensitive to these sorts of things, however, so I think they just couldn’t tell. What is bothering me the most, though, is all of the dye.
I can tell Roomie did a basic wipe down of some things that got splashed, but it’s EVERYWHERE. Not at first glance, but when you look:
- a bunch of dye under the lip of the sink,
- the marble (or whatever the counter is made of) has a pink tone to it,
- the door has a purple handprint on it,
- the bathtub has purple streaks running down the outside,
- the toilet lid, base and backing have splashes,
- the bottom of the hanging cabinet has dots and streaks,
- one of Roomie B’s towels was used to dry Friend’s hair and is splotched all over now (Roomie B said it was okay after they had started using it, but doesn’t mind because it’s old),
- the wall behind the door has an actual blob of dye,
- and there’s even splatter dots above the door frame, nearly to the ceiling!
I didn’t want to ruin their fun, and I’m all for hair dying, but this is the exact same thing that happened at the last house I was renting. What I hate most is that it was all left there to be cleaned up later (At least, I hope she meant “later” rather than “not at all”). The longer it’s on, though, the more it seeps in. That’s exactly what dye does!
So I sent a long message to our house chat that I’m very upset with the state of the hall bathroom and refuse to allow any hair dying not done by a professional to happen in this house again.
Now I’m wondering if I’m overreacting. I tend to get really worked up over things that mean little to other people. I just don’t understand why they couldn’t have used Roomie A’s bathroom. Ya, the tub’s broken, but there are two sinks and a shower. I’ve also only had my hair dyed at a salon, so I don’t know if this is a normal mess or what.
Am I the Asshole, guys?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
h6sqAsSLzp9ZvtCCT4jnfiq6phqirtri
|
a9rfsn
|
{
"description": "punching my 12 year old brother in the back of the head",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA For punching my 12 year old brother in the back of the head?
|
Let me explain.
So for a period of time I had to sleep outside my room due to the AC in my room shooting out freezing cold air. My brother was in the same room I was in playing fortnite and I couldn't sleep due to the clicking sound from his controller and him talking to his friends in the game. It was also at night when this happened. I asked him to get off of the game immediately but he just refused to get off so I punched him in his and said "I'm gonna keep punching you until you get off". He cried and got off on the second punch, please remember tjat I'm 16 and my brother is 12.. I can't really remember than many details from this story since I was filled with anger at the time.
TL;DR My brother was on the game while I was trying to sleep at night. I told him to get off but he wouldn't so I punched his head to force him to get off.
---------------
Another situation similar to this one happened. It was 11 o clock at and I was in my room. The room where my brother plays fortnite was outside my door and I could hear him talking to his friends. I couldn't get any sleep. I remembered the previous situation and decided to get my parents involved in getting my brother off. They said for my brother to get off of the game but he didn't listen. My parents didn't take any further action. So I decided to rip out the controller from my brothers hands but he got violent I was only trying to rip the controller out of my brothers hands. My parents got involved and broke up the fight.
TL;DR same this but I tried to rip the controller out of his hands.
Am I the asshole for these situations? If I am the asshole what do I do next time? I'm also 16 years old and a student.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
j3BHedd8NKzfq1nVLR0ep4v9IvatppcH
|
att9vi
|
{
"description": "not being affectionate towards my mom",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being affectionate towards my mom?
|
Let me start this post off by saying I’m a 20 year old female and I live with my mom. It’s been just us my entire life because my dad was always in and out of it.
For about the past year me and my mom have had an ongoing battle because she hates how I’m not affectionate towards her. I’ll be listing the things she says I don’t do that hurts her feelings + the reason why I don’t do them.
1) she says it hurts her feelings that I don’t kiss her.
I told her many many many times I don’t mind kissing her on the cheek if I’m leaving or something but she always tries to kiss me on the lips and I’m just not comfortable with that it’s just weird to me I’m a grown adult I don’t want to kiss my mom on the lips lol.
2) she says it hurts her feelings that I never call her or text her.
I told her that I like talking to her on the phone but there are times that I just like to listen to my music on my way to an 8 hour shift or a 3 hour class. PLUS she has a habit of repeating herself multiple times and/or just not speaking at all. And it’s really annoying when I’m just sitting there while she’s breathing hard af in the phone.
3) she says it hurts her feelings that I don’t do little things like cuddle with her or give her long hugs, etc.
I told her that I’m just overall not an affectionate person!! It’s not that its because of her it’s just because I like my own personal space.
I feel like she gets so upset because she hasn’t been in a relationship since I was like 10 years old, which I don’t think is my fault that she doesn’t wanna date. I tried explaining to her calmly that I’m just not an affectionate person overall, I’m the same way towards everyone else it’s not just her!!
She cries and it makes me feel extremely bad... AITA??
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
aqskly
|
{
"description": "expecting to have conversations with my so regardless of their anxiety",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for expecting to have conversations with my SO regardless of their anxiety?
|
My bf and I have been dating for a few months and recently the lack of communication has gotten worse for me, this has caused me to talk to friends (who happen to be male) moreso than my SO. It feels like the relationship is constantly hitting a roadblock. I have an expectation that he should be able to hold a conversation with me. When we talk on the phone most of the conversation is silence and we do not talk OTP often, for maybe 30 minutes daily.
He has a decent amount of anxiety, I get it and have been trying to accommodate him but seeing no improvements it is pissing me off. I have addressed this with him by trying to provoke him, sometimes with anger, to get him to let it out.
Recently I have not been feeling it, I want someone to be able to talk to easily. I am tired of always carrying the conversations, it is just a perpetual cycle of dead ends when it comes to him. He does not offer up information either, every thing I want to know I have to ask. So, I have been just as short and to the point with the conversation as he has.
AITA?
&#x200B;
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
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|
9u5c1g
|
{
"description": "telling my sister to let out the dog",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA- For telling my sister to let out the dog?
|
So I hear a loud scratching noise at the door so I get up from what I’m doing to find my sister in front of the door and ignoring the dogs need to go out, so I open the door and let the dog do it’s business. I then ask my sister “ Why didn’t you let out the dog” and she responded with “it’s not my dog” and she’s right it’s my other sisters dog (Who wasn’t home at the time) So I respond with “You should still let it out, because it would be mean to not let the dog use the bathroom, I than let the dog in and go back to my room while my sister goes on about a rant of how she would have let the dog out if it really had to use the bathroom. So reddit, am I the asshole ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
awjlui
|
{
"description": "asking my upstairs neighbor to be quiet on Monday so I can sleep",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA if I ask my upstairs neighbor to be quiet on Monday so I can sleep?
|
My fiance and I (both mid twenties) live on the first floor of an apartment complex. I rotate between 12 hour day shifts and night shifts three days a week and occasionally have to sleep during the day. My upstairs neighbors work from home/stay at home, have two school aged boys and two large dogs. They are loud all day long during normal working hours, especially playing the piano, vacuuming, and generally banging about. The piano playing starts at noon and continues intermittently through dinner time many days. I'm convinced they play soccer/fetch inside up there when the boys get home from school. We've never had issues with them being loud at night.
I work Sunday night, and my birthday is Monday. I have plans that evening for which I would like to not be a zombie and actually get to sleep for a reasonable amount of time. Would I be the asshole for asking them to mind their noise levels and not practice the piano on Monday so that I can sleep through the standard work day? I've never officially met them, so this would be the first encounter. To my knowledge, they don't know how inconvenient their daytime routines are to my sleep schedule. I already have blackout curtains, earplugs and an eye mask.
I know that upstairs neighbors are something you sign up for with an apartment complex. Noise regulations don't go into effect until 11 pm on weekdays 12 am on weekends. Officially I don't have a leg to stand on, but is it okay to ask?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
f8XkSHFQC2wogTJ7QUAfgM8W5VGyhGVI
|
b5beyz
| null |
AITA: In Rocket League, I ask for the opposing team to give goals back when they are earned illegitimately, and if they refuse I report them for Unsportsmanlike Conduct.
|
So I play a lot of Rocket League- it's a fun game. But it's also very competitive. If you lose too often you rank down; if you win often you rank up.
In Rocket League, I'll often play 1v1s and 2v2s where if 1 player loses connection for a round or sees their ping go up above 150 ms, the game is basically unplayable. In these games, the team to which this occurs suffers, particularly in 1v1.
To clarify, I have done everything in my power to try to keep a stable connection. I have an ethernet cable to my router on broadband internet, and still I will occasionally experience ping greater than 500 ms and occasionally disconnect from games, leaving my teammates in a 1v2 situation for about 1 minute.
So eventually when my connection returns, I'll ask that the opposing teammates return the goals they illegitimately earned, as many games come down to 1 or 2 point leads.
More often than not, the opposing team refuses to give the goals back, saying "It's competitive. I need to rank up." And I'll respond with "It's competitive. I need to rank up." They'll often tell me to get a better connection, and I'll explain that I've done everything in my power to get a better connection.
If by the end of the game the opposing team hasn't returned the illegitimate goals to even the score, I report them for Unsportsmanlike Conduct, an offense that can get a player temporarily banned from the game if too many reports come in.
When I tell them I'm reporting them, they often report me back, saying I'm just crying that I lost, then report ME for Unsportsmanlike Conduct.
Am I the Asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
zNyMqr6oeIvz6E1yKu7cITew4DR2B3p1
|
b74m04
|
{
"description": "going out for lunch with my ex girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for going out for lunch with my ex girlfriend?
|
This morning I bumped into my ex girlfriend. We dated for 2 years when we were 18 (21 now) and it was a mutual break up. We would remain friends and all that but of course that never actually happens.
Well we got to talking and the conversation was going well and she suggested we got lunch together, and I agreed. I found out that she started dating someone around the same time I started seeing my current girlfriend, and we're both closing in on our one year anniversaries. Nothing too special happened and I think we talked for maybe half an hour, just some catching up. We exchanged numbers again that was that.
When I got home tonight I told my girlfriend and she was didn't believe me at first. Then she got pissed and started asking me all kinds of questions and said that I was being very rude and disrespectful towards her. Literally all l I did was talk. She wanted to go through my phone and I let her and of course ex girlfriend has to text right at that moment. She got very upset and now she will barely talk to me, she almost teared up. I think that she's blowing it way out of proportion, I really don't know what else to think of this. I had lunch and talked to someone, she makes me feel like I banged 10 different girls.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
3DHcj7qMqFkhT9tLDzYyhPp4xmbWDZto
|
ar1ord
|
{
"description": "recognizing Old Enemy as Juror",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA - Recognizing Old Enemy as Juror
|
Obviously a throwaway... buckle up boys and girls.
So I got summoned for a court appearance a month ago when the judge and lawyers were determining if they would take a plea deal. During this time, the defendant showed up... and I recognized him. He didn't recognize me from high school, which was about 9 years ago. I've gained some weight since then to the point where they didn't identify the conflict of interest during jury selection. This guy was the biggest jerk, not to me but to one of my friends. Anyways, I pushed the jury during the forensics debate and now he's doing 15 years baby.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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WWkjEhbekxbrsvC7C8KFEsFq0HPbqvBi
|
akvdk4
|
{
"description": "being Upset Family won't let me hold New Baby",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For Being Upset Family Won't Let Me Hold New Baby?
|
Hello everyone, I want some opinions on this because it's been driving me crazy. So my cousin was like a sister to me growing up; we had countless sleepovers, went on family vacations together, we were pretty much always together as children. She was my best friend. As we became teenagers, we kind of drifted apart, but we grew close again not long after she became engaged. I was very involved in helping with her wedding, I was a bridesmaid, went to every shower and party, etc. I thought we were finally getting close again. When she announced her pregnancy, I was thrilled. She and her husband lived about 2 hours away from me, but we got together anytime they were in town, I went down to see them quite a bit during her pregnancy as well, and we always had a good time. She told me the baby's gender before her gender reveal party, and I went out and bought gifts for the reveal and for her later baby shower. She and her husband even asked me to be the baby's godmother. I was honored and so excited for the future.
When the baby was born, I went to see them in the hospital the day after and held the baby for the first time. A few weeks later, once they were settled back at home and ready for visitors, I went down again to spend the day with them and see the baby, where I got to hold him again. Then, about 2 months later, they came to my city for the baby's dedication at their parents' megachurch. They invited me and of course I went to support them. There was a party afterwards, at my cousins' parent's house. I rode back to the house with my cousin and her husband and the baby. I sat in the backseat with my cousin and the baby and during the ride the baby reached out to hold my finger. I thought this was sweet and was enjoying talking to him when my cousin physically moved my hand away then sanitized the baby's hand with glittery Bath & Body Works hand sanitizer. She made me sanitize my hands, too, and though I was a bit taken aback by this, I went with it because I figured it was typical first time mom stuff. When we got to her parent's house, I asked to hold the baby, but my cousin said "no" and walked away without another word. I was devastated by this. I was clean, was not sick, and had just washed my hands. A few months later, at a different family gathering, I asked to hold him and was again told no. They recently had their second child and I have not been allowed to hold that baby at all.
My cousin only lets her own parents hold the baby for limited amounts of time under her direct supervision, and routinely says they can only hold their grandchild if they do certain things for my cousin, or if they buy the baby expensive gifts. They have held the brand new baby only once for a Facebook photo.
At first, I thought it was something I was doing wrong, but I babysit regularly for friends and hold other people's babies all the time, so I'm starting to think it's not a problem with me.
AITA for being upset by this? I was supportive, I never tried to overstep my boundaries, but I thought I was supposed to be involved in my godson's life?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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b02vzg
| null |
AITA for the way i rejected this guy and what happened after
|
So this is partly in the past and some is in the present
some backstory:I am a sophmore in highschool and the other person in this story is a freshman and we're both in the same after school club type thing. He was pretty lonely so i invited him to hang out with my friend group.
So about two weeks into the school year and this kid hanging around me almost everyday, he asked me out, in front of a group of people. I panicked and told him i was gay ( a really bitchy move i know and its no excuse but all ican say is I panicked just said the first thing that came to mnd. ) I won't lie I have a very flirty personality so maybe he thought I was flirtingwith him. I felt bad for him but In just didn't feel that way.
After this he continued to hang out with my friend group and this point im not going to lie he was getting kind of annoying and pervy, he was extremely loud would tell the same joke over and over and i constantly caught him staring at my boobs. Almost a week after he asked me out he stopped me on my way to house and told me he loved me. I told him I didn't like him like that and then he nodded and THEN PROCEEDED TO FOLLOW ME HOME.
He now waits for me evryday at the bus in the mornings and at the school gate and walked with me home everyday he has sat outside my house across the street waiting for me to get home and my mom has started to recognize him because of the sheer amount of times he has waked past my house.
Now to my side of the asshole earlier in the story i mentioned i told him i ws gay well this comes into play when i took a male date (who soon after became my boyfriend) to a formal dance we were both attending. Then earlier today my boyfriend and i were hollding hands and kind of cuddling in the club classroom and im pretty sure he saw.
Ive been told im the one to blame for the way hes been acting that i led him on and keep doing so and that im the asshole in this situation but i don't know. So am i to blame? Am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ZdXard5rxz5ZFPQpZgi3KK3tpOifB9RP
|
atnu6j
|
{
"description": "wanting to get rid of my boyfriend's couch",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to get rid of my boyfriend's couch?
|
My boyfriend and I currently live together in a loft apartment with a massive living room. Because the loft is so large, it accommodates THE COUCH. THE COUCH is an 8x10 leather sectional that seats 10-12 people and will sleep 3 full size adults.
My boyfriend is obsessed with this couch. It's one of his favorite possessions and was his first major purchase after college and starting his professional career. Before we started dating, he actually slept on it every night instead of a bed.
I hate this couch. It's too big and an eyesore. It doesn't match the rest of our furniture at all. And his dog is a digger ,so she's destroyed most of the cushions. As a result, we have to use these huge blankets to protect the leather from her. It makes the entire living room look cluttered and messy. It would be fine for a large den or game room, but it just doesn't look good at all in our living room. And frankly, I resent the hell out of the fact that I got no say at all on it.
I've tolerated this couch for our rented apartment, but we are about to put an offer down on a house. He wants to pay 3-5K to remove a load-bearing column so that the living room will accommodate the couch. He has offered to pay that himself.
I want the couch gone, so that we can go buy something together that we both like that matches the rest of our furniture (and won't swallow our entire living room). He has refused. AITA for wanting to get rid of it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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RIGHT
|
N78nKdT3Hn4Oxfp3MDnFcUhRyklCa3lq
|
b1v1at
|
{
"description": "assigning my partner to drive me to Mechanic on his day off from work",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for Assigning My Partner to Drive Me to Mechanic on His Day Off from Work?
|
First post here, here's the story: my car needed a brake job. There's an auto body shop roughly 3/4 mile from my work site, which is convenient as it's semi-close, however it's not reasonable to walk between there and my work site due to time constraints of a busy workday. The auto shop offers a shuttle service in one direction- from the shop to my work site. So once my brake job was complete, I would require transport from my work site to the auto shop. Normally, I'd do Uber. But my partner happened to have an off-day from work on the day that I was planning to get the auto work done, and he lives close to both my work site and the auto shop (we've been together 2+ years but do not yet live together). So my thinking was- when my car is ready, he can pick me up at work and drop me off at the auto shop. I notified him about 1 day in advance of this plan. He grunted some comment about not liking to have to do extra stuff on his day off, but he agreed.
On the repair day, around 1pm I get word from the auto body that my car is ready. I call my partner to tell him to come get me. When he answered the phone, it was clear that I'd woken him from sleep. So I feel bad, but I told him "look, the place is open till 5pm. Just finish your nap and then come pick me up once you're actually awake". But no, he wanted to come do the drop at that moment, to get it over with. So he picked me up and then dropped me off at my car no problem. When he dropped me off at the auto shop, he told me he was going home to go back to bed.
That evening he called me when he was awake. In conversation, he tells me it *really* messed up his day off to have to transport me to my car. He asserted that - as a floor nurse, he **needs** his days off for catching up on rest. I thought about it, and quickly stated that I didn't feel bad whatsoever; I've transported him to appointments in the past on my days off from work, and of course I would expect him to do the same for me. Then he gets more upset, claiming that I'm inconsiderate of his time off and his well-being. He even goes as far as telling me that I "need to bring \[him\] dinner" for the inconvenience that I caused him (I would have been fine to pick up some take-out for him in any case, but his sense of entitlement seemed undeserved and particularly annoyed me).
I'm a bit floored by all this. In any serious relationship (we've been together 2+ years), I would expect any partner to accommodate such a simple request without making some big deal out of it. He often (not just in this instance) talks about how on his days off, he just really needs to rest and recharge, claiming that' it's a nurse thing' that I wouldn't be able to understand. If this latter part is true, then maybe I should feel badly for assigning him this task on his day off. I do have many concerns about how this behavior will affect our relationship when we live together, but before I even start thinking along those lines I first need to know - AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
|
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WRONG
|
4Ol0ToVzydhxjmRaE11LyrQOEmeEN1GY
|
acakv6
|
{
"description": "causing a scene at my girlfriend's place of work because a creepy, old \"professional photographer\" wanted us to come over to his place so he could take pictures of her face",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for causing a scene at my girlfriend's place of work because a creepy, old "professional photographer" wanted us to come over to his place so he could take pictures of her face?
|
This happened less than an hour ago...
I went to visit my girlfriend for lunch at the cafe she works at. We're both in our early 20s, and I'll occasionally come grab a drink with her from whomever is covering her lunch.
Today, after we had our drinks and were in the middle of a conversation, an older man (probably mid 60s to early 70s) walks up to us and starts asking us questions. We'll call him Steve, and my girlfriend will be Janet:
Steve: "Hey, do you work here (motioning to Janet)? And is he your boyfriend (motioning to me)?"
Janet and Me: "Yes, yeah?"
Steve: "Well, I know we're strangers but I was wondering if you wanted to come over to my place so I could shoot your face?"
At this point, Janet looks at him confused, then at me, and I'm staring at this guy also trying to figure out what he's saying, and Steve holds up his hands and makes a camera motion, like he's taking pictures. Up until this point, I have been staring at him a lot, trying to figure out what he's all about, and I didn't think I was scowling, but I had started leaning over the table Janet and I are sitting at, trying to take the attention away from her. I can't remember what exactly he said, but Steve kept going on about how gorgeous Janet's face is.
Me, still trying to be respectful: "What is it for?"
Steve, still just looking at Janet, not paying me much attention: "Oh, you know. Just for fun!"
Janet: "Oh I'm really sorry, I am just really busy with work and I don't have the time..."
Steve: "Oh I'm never busy, don't have anything going on"
I got kind of pissed off after that. I wasn't trying to start something, especially with someone that old, and I just wanted to get back to my convo with Janet. Another thing is that we're still in the cafe where Janet works, and this guy made sure everyone in our area knew that she worked there. Everyone in our area included an older woman sitting at a table right next to all of this, and Janet's older female coworker behind the bar.
Me (staring at Steve, being very skeptical now): "I think we're good man"
Steve: "Well, this guy looks like he wants to... to take things out into the parking lot!"
Steve was kind of laughing here, like I was the ridiculous one for being protective or something.
Me: "Okay leave us alone man"
Steve: "I am a professional photographer! I don't know what it is YOU do in life!"
And he kind of trails off there, I still don't know what point he was trying to make. I'm a college student. It's also worth noting that he had a large book with him that whole time, which I suspect is full of photos, and was probably from the chain bookstore the cafe is connected to. He would take this book and occasionally, slightly, slam it on our table like he was uneasy. I thought he was really creepy, and I just had to get him to leave:
Me, voice raised: "Look man, I'm not trying to start a fight, but we said no, so leave us alone right now!"
I turned away from him and let him leave, muttering. I was pretty shaken up by now, I could tell Janet was as well, and even the woman who had been sitting next to us the whole time.
I apologized to Janet, and she apologized to me for having to deal with that. But more than anything, she didn't seem like she was completely stoked by my reaction, and same goes for everyone around me. I didn't ask her directly, but I did say, "I probably should have reacted differently". But looking back, am I really that wrong to raise my voice and help cause a scene? I get that she's at work, and that everyone was probably a little shaken up by that confrontation, but I feel like just because you're a professional photographer (which Steve hadn't proven at any point, either), you can't just ask strangers, especially girls less than a third your age, to come over to your house to take pictures "for fun", "because they have such a gorgeous face"
AITA for raising my voice the way I did? Is there honestly any way I could have reacted differently in that situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
QFVrlhVpluIXNCnrV77xlyJFP1Xfu9e7
|
astily
|
{
"description": "quitting my temp job filling in for a woman on maternity leaving when the the place is already understaffed",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I quit my temp job filling in for a woman on maternity leave when the the place is already understaffed?
|
Context:
I just graduated with a Bachelors in December. I had been applying to jobs since mid October to no avail and was getting very anxious as I have bills to pay. The only response I had gotten was a temp job at a very large company to cover a woman while on maternity leave. It paid well enough for a kid just out of college but is not something I'd exactly like to do forever. I took it because I panicked and was happy that I'd be starting employment two days after I graduated.
I can handle the tasks but lately they have been mounting. The place and its nearby branches seem very shortstaffed. Recently some very toxic emails have been sent en masse detailing dissatisfaction with a lot of peoples work ethic.
Recently people have been asking me to do certain tasks and projects without any training, and asking for help is next to fruitless as everyone is so busy. The people I work with are very kind but anyone above is a nightmare with few exceptions. I am 100% regretting taking this job. I'm applying to new jobs and looking anywhere I can for an out, but I feel like a scumbag for even thinking about leaving. Am I the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
jE3K9GuNzRq7ysUlhymhIEVLohcQYini
|
anskig
|
{
"description": "keeping late hours",
"pronormative_score": 63,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for keeping late hours?
|
So I just moved into a new apartment complex and I’m living on the second floor, we don’t really have any kid of specific “quiet hours” because there’s not a lot of major noise, most people here have kids or live alone.
I’m a college student and most days I’m in class until about 10pm, my downstairs neighbor apparently goes to bed at 8:30pm.
When I get home I normally make myself dinner, then I clean the kitchen, do a little homework, watch some tv, shower and go to bed.
My neighbor is insisting that I’m being inconsiderate and rude, he’s called the landlord on me twice and I’ve literally only lived here for two weeks, we mediated with the landlord, she seemed pretty impartial since the noise isn’t like loud music or fighting, but just me going about my routine.
I said I would buy an area rug for the living room since it’s hardwood floors and I have, and hopefully that mutes my footsteps a little, but my neighbor now just gives me dirty looks whenever we run into each other outside and I heard him complaining to our other neighbor yesterday about how he’s been having trouble sleeping since I moved in.
And honestly I feel bad about it, but I hate feeling like I have to tiptoe and whisper in my own houses.
So basically am I the asshole for not going straight to bed after school?
This is my first time being the upstairs neighbor, in my last unit I was on the bottom floor and the people living upstairs had two kids and a dog and it got loud sometimes, but never loud enough that I couldn’t sleep.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
dmIO0AuO0e5YTRwla86g9eO556ulvk6S
|
aksy4d
|
{
"description": "not sending flowers to my fathers funeral",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not sending flowers to my fathers funeral?
|
Some background. My dad was a neglectful, emotionally abusive narcissist and I left home at sixteen to support myself to get away from him. I actually had 'begging for food' incidents in my teens.
This man didn't buy me shoes or clothing, my grandparents and his sister did. I didn't get to have a bath in the eight years he raised me because 'they cost money'. And no, we weren't broke. I was bullied until the day I left. Both I and two of his ex wives had breakdowns because of his constant emotional abuse.
I've seen him all of four times since I was sixteen, only once intentionally (over thirty years plus). He acted like I was the bad guy. Whatever.
He recently died, and I swallowed it and turned up at the hospital to say goodbye on his deathbed. I was a bit sad, as I do have a couple of positive memories as him from when I was a tiny child. He seemed contrite as he was dying, but some talks with my baby brother after have turned up that he was telling people a lot of crap about what went on in my childhood. No I was not 'dumped on him' by my mother. He in fact kidnapped me at one point and then fought for custody purely to upset my mother. I was there, I remember him telling me he only wanted custody so he didn't have to pay maintenance. And some recently found family letters talking about the court case and how the whole point of getting custody was as an abusive act of control against my mother. Not a nice man and full of shit to the end. He essentially stopped me seeing my mother between the ages of eight and fifteen. Destroyed the birthday and Christmas gifts she sent me.
The funeral is in a few days, and although I am attending (it was all prepaid) I have declined to buy him flowers. My grown up baby half brother, who never saw my dad as an abuser thanks to not being raised by him after dad divorced his mum, seems scandalised. As does his mum. Who was ironically one of the ex wives who had a breakdown, but who is a born doormat.
However: I didn't even buy flowers for my mum when she died, as we had a quick cremation and a informal ceremonial ash scattering for her. Her request. I'm sure as hell not buying the abusive asshole flowers when I didn't even get my mother some.
Should I take the higher ground here and just buy flowers so as to not upset my brother? I am a long way from broke, it's the bloody principle.
Am I being an asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
09GqMRqzFhsCxmHx9jRpohnZsCUUiiG6
|
arldc1
|
{
"description": "moving out from my girlfriend's house because of her anxiety and medical problems",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for moving out from my girlfriend's house because of her anxiety and medical problems?
|
So almost two years ago, I moved in with my girlfriend and thought, “She’s the love of my life. This is it.” I still think that could be true. She’s the kindest, sweetest, and most thoughtful person. We agree on all the essentials (finances, kids, politics, life goals) but still have enough differences to have fun debates and deep conversations. She’s always been supportive and encouraging, and without question, she’s the best friend I’ve ever had.
When we started dating, I knew she had anxiety and medical problems, but things quickly took a sharp downturn when she stopped hormones about three months into the relationship (she’s a transgirl). Her anxiety is now so bad that she can’t stay home alone. She was recently let go (partially because of her medical issues and anxiety) so now she carpools with me to work so she can look for jobs in the bottom floor of my office building. She’s also anxious about elevators and driving in traffic which makes her job searching even more difficult because she’ll have to take the bus/uber. With her medical issues, she can help with some of the housework but struggles with bringing groceries into the house, walking uphill, and anything that agitates her heart. I grew up with cats and she’s allergic, so even after two years of washing my clothing she’s still worried about cat dander in my clothes and puts blankets on the couch wherever I sit down. Additionally, while I’m very supportive of her gender identity, my attraction to her really changed when she stopped hormones and I really struggle with introducing her to friends and family.
I love her, but after living with her for two years and the constant anxiety and stress from medical issues, I’m extremely tired and burnt out. I’ve been dealing with depression for the past year and even relapsed into cutting recently. I have an appointment with a counselor but it’s still weeks away.
I’m debating moving out for a few months so I can take a break from all the issues and just have some room to breathe and deal with my mental health. But with me moving out, she’s going to have to rely on our roommate’s schedule to be able to stay in the house and it will make her life a lot more difficult with housework and other things. I’d still come by the house a few times a week to help but she’s still going to struggle, mostly with anxiety. But I feel like I desperately need the space.
TL,DR: My girlfriend has really bad anxiety and medical problems, and I've become extremely burnout and depressed/self-harming. I want to get my own apartment but it would mean she would struggle to keep up the house by herself. AITA?
What do you guys think? Advice would be appreciated too.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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9j1Gzyn93RQ4Bs7XeT4fOQ5uWIHmzXtY
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amw2xk
|
{
"description": "having my own schedule and ignoring conflicting events",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for having my own schedule and ignoring conflicting events
|
I live with 2 roommates, one family and one friend, and we basically all knew the people who regularly visit us from before we moved together. Now, my cousin is working, my friend is a lazy student (close call every year) and I do my best to keep my grades at college in the top scores to stay eligible for exchange semesters at the colleges of my choosing (the higher your grades are, the more likely you are to get the college you chose). Basically I spend about 50 hours of the week studying and/or related activities. For that I have a very specific schedule that I always stick to. Since I'm an introvert, I also designated some time where I just shut myself in my room and recharge from studying/socializing at uni. (obviously some free time as well, but I like to use that to go to gym or read a book)
Now, my roommates are entitled to their own lives, they can invite whoever they want and they can eat whenever and whatever I want, I don't care as long as they don't disturb me between 1-6am where I'm sleeping. However, they often invite people over, that I know as well, just mostly not on sunday where I have the most free time. I usually say hello and chat a few minutes and then go back to doing whatever the fuck I was doing (and since visits are mostly in the evening that's usually when I want to relax). Same goes for eating. When I get hungry I eat, and if it's 11am and my roommates cook at 12, fuck it, I'm full (i tell them I already ate beforehand).
Recently I've been getting a lot of hate from relatives/acquaintances for not having time when they came over (even though I had nothing to do with inviting them) and roommates "because it's unnecessary and egoistic to eat early when we could eat together."
I always feel like they got something wrong: we entered a subtenancy contract, not a relationship. We aren't a family, I won't actively try to not be there/not eat at the same time, but if it doesn't suit my schedule, fuck it. I don't think they are entitled to my time, and if they don't bother asking me if I'll have the time when they invite someone it's their problem, not mine. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
EcoJhaQX1P18N5sJexo3CBFn4cNID1aO
|
b32d83
|
{
"description": "destroying my kid's new handheld Tetris high score",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 17
}
|
AITA for destroying my kid's new handheld Tetris high score?
|
So, I let my kids pick out a couple toys at Target for a few reasons, including them just being awesome kids. One of the things my 11 year old picks out is this little Tetris arcade machine. He's pretty excited about it. Plays it here and there. Fast forward to the weekend and we get a challenge going - who can get the higher score.
He plays and gets about 6k. Talks some smack before and after. But, says if I beat that, I have to beat his best score of 20k.
Alright.
I play and wipe the 6k goal. He starts checking in every so often. I keep going. Passed the 20k goal. Still going strong. At this point, he's kinda stopped asking where I was but still checks a couple times.
At 100k, I start to feel like I'm beating a sad, dead horse to death. He seems kinda quiet. I make it to 130k and could keep going but, instead, stack the blocks to fail.
He seems too quiet still. At this point, I feel like I went way overboard and maybe destroyed his enthusiasm for the game.
I'm the asshole here, aren't I?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 17,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 17
}
|
WRONG
|
giCx5SqpTW0lgUqS9JhfI2oC1hGuKOD4
|
ahvo8p
|
{
"description": "tipping the minimum",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for tipping the minimum?
|
First of all, I don’t believe people don’t deserve money for their work. I just don’t believe I’m in charge of deciding how much they get. Living in asia for several years, I got excellent service without having to tip at all. If you weren’t a good server, you were just fired.
Back in America, I know I have to tip. And that’s completely fine. I know they’re mostly paid below minimum wage. But again I don’t want to spend my experience gauging what someone deserves. So I systematically pay 15% and round up to the dollar.
Usually the arguments on reddit go between “servers don’t make any money and we need to tip them” to “they make so much that we should never ever get rid of tipping”.
But I literally don’t care at all how the service is as long as I get my food.
To sum it up, AITA for always tipping the same amount, regardless of the service?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
zPK4T3RHLQj8pQtVKfP0sSOOnNGVvdqg
|
akq337
|
{
"description": "telling my friend her recent ex slept with someone else",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For telling my friend her recent ex slept with someone else?
|
Okay back story- my fiancé recently moved in with his cousin. His cousin had a gf of four years and her and I quickly became very close. Over the last couple months I have come to consider her a really great friend.
*To make things easy I will refer to my fiancé’s cousin as Tom and his gf as Jan
So tom and Jan had a very rocky relationship. She has trust issues from stuff he did at the beginning of their relationship but with that being said sometimes she did take it overboard in being controlling over him. They did not have a great relationship at least in my eyes. *So they broke up last weekend. ( side note they break up and get back together a lot).
Jan after the break up was obviously very sad and emotional. I was there while she cried and helped her talk through it. She repeatedly told me that I needed to tell her if I found out Tom did anything with any other girl. I told her yes but in my mind really wasn’t going to tell her if I found out anything minor because it would just upset her for no good reason.
So for reason that aren’t important, I found out Tom slept with someone else 3 days after they broke up. Me and my fiancé were surprised. I completely understand that after they broke up he could do anything he wanted. I just didn’t think it would be so soon with all things considered.
So fast forward to yesterday-Jan and I had already planned to hang out. So I go over and we are talking about everything and how she has really missed him and wondered if he wanted to get back with her. So she asks me to my face if I know anything and so I told her. I just cannot lie anymore. I’ve lied for people in the past in similar situations and it literally ate me up inside. So oblivious she was crushed, she understands that he didn’t “cheat” on her because they were broken up but she is just so hurt, she never thought it would happen so fast.
So obviously Tom now knows that I told Jan what happened. And he is pissed at me. He told my fiancé that I better not come around their apartment anymore and all this stuff. Also my fiancé is kinda mad at me for “stirring the pot” when I could have kept my mouth shut. But how is that fair to me? To have to lie for Tom when I don’t even know him that well and now consider myself way closer to her than him. If she wouldn’t have found out she would have literally obsessed over him and wanting to get back with him. And now she is completely done with him. Still emotional obviously but ready to move forward with her life.
So AITA? Should I have done things differently?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
nmfkYETaXcXWDeTVrEmI6pBV7rtW8lDQ
|
b3xd2z
|
{
"description": "reporting a minor accident where I got rear ended",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for reporting a minor accident where I got rear ended
|
For background information, I just graduated college a year ago and started a job in my field. Bought my dream car, a 2018 muscle car. Not brand new, it was a rental car before I got it but it's still a 2018.
&#x200B;
Yesterday, in stop-and-go traffic I got rear ended because he was going far too fast while catching up to where traffic was stopped. (Big opening between the stops so you can get some speed). I would guess by the time he hit me he was going about 15mph. I had looked into my rear view mirror, joked to myself that he might hit me, and then when I looked back up I realized he was actually going to hit me so I eased off the brake enough that I wouldn't hit the car in front of me, but enough so that some of the force would be expended through just pushing my car forward. When I had first looked up and joked to myself about being hit, I was stopped completely and in my opinion there was more than enough space for him to brake if he started to apply it there with at most a moderate amount of pressure. It looked like a kid driving their parents vehicle.
&#x200B;
My car is getting repaired now, and the total estimate came out to be probably less than their deductible would be, unless it's a super low deductible. My car has a textured plastic bumper cover, the only noticeable damage was what his license plate screws did to it. His license plate and license plate cover took all of the shock, and while the license plate was bent [like a hard taco shell](https://www.appetizersusa.com/uimages/images/create-your-own/mini-taco-shells-yellow.jpg), that was it. I wasn't sure if anything else got messed up with my car, and in case I got injured I definitely wanted to report it. I also read that you are required to report every accident unless it happens on your private property against your own property. It being a new car that's financed, I didn't want to risk not reporting it.
&#x200B;
AITA for reporting it? I feel bad because he was even younger than me and his rates are probably going to skyrocket, but it's my first car and the potential for injury on my side is what made me decide to report it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Or6mbMRxnAeOHusH5KcuMO0DJKaOPTLr
|
b2ryym
|
{
"description": "calling my ftm ex my ex-girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 56,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for calling my FtM ex my ex-girlfriend?
|
So, there's this FtM guy I used to date when he, let's call him Dan, was still she, let's call her Kate. We dated a few weeks at the beginning of the school year, and a few months after we broke up, he came out as trans and started transitioning.
This led to a mindscrew for me. Referring to him in conversation when I'm not using his name, would I can him my ex gf or my ex bf? Technically he's a guy now, but I'm not gay, and while dating him he was still a girl. So technically speaking I feel it's factually accurate to call him my 'ex gf'.
So, at school we have a class together with a mutual acquaintance. This acquaintance, who didn't know we used to date, asked how we knew each other. I said, 'dan used to be my girlfriend back when he was a girl'. Dan didn't seem offended or anything. But this acquaintance definitely was. He told me Dan is my *ex-boyfriend*, not my ex-girlfriend. Dan, who I know doesn't really like debates or arguments that much, made an excuse to basically leave.
So this acquaintance kind of yelled at me, and I explained my rationale: back when dan dated me, he was still she, so it doesn't make sense to refer to her as a ex boyfriend. Also, he's not offended at all, so I don't see why this acquaintance is.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 43,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 13,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 56,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
4uF2TufpyoPIH8LRHMtQQMVyNoKRHeaN
|
arar1o
|
{
"description": "a not taking action as someone was being bullied",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for a not taking action as someone was being bullied?
|
My 2 friends and I have a study hall”with mostly underclassmen who need remediation. The reason we’re there is because we have all the necessary classes required to graduate and attend college in the fall and needed something to fill our schedule and we didn’t want to take another elective. We’re not graded for the class and it’s in the morning so we don’t usually show up. This happened yesterday and we decided to actually go to the class because we had a presentation in English to prepare for. I’m getting work done and listening to music when the teacher steps out. These 2 kids are messing around at our table. IDK what they’re doing but one of them swings his hand and hits another kid on accident and and the guy looks pissed. He starts calling him a retard among other things and starts shoving him. My friend tells them both to shut the fuck up because we’re working. They both walk away and I thought the was end of it but the guy follows the kid he was harassing. The teacher comes back and finds the kid crying. She sends the bully out and begins yelling at us for not doing anything. She says she expects us seniors to be role models and to put an end to this kind of behavior. She tells us that those 2 students have been having issues (how was I supposed to know I’m barely there). She assigned us a detention which none of us served.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
8JVIz5TWET23fdVgORI54czAvMZwTL5H
|
aw5k19
|
{
"description": "not lending my calculator to my brother's friend for his test",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not lending my calculator to my brother's friend for his test?
|
I have been having a lot of lectures to catch up on which I of course need my calculator to study with.
My brother has this test that he needs a calculator for . He has one, his friend however lost his and doesnt have one. He came to me and asked for it saying he wants MY calculator to give to his friend. I told him I'm sorry buddy I'm using it atm. He kept telling me his test is way more important than whatever I'm using it with atm , how he will use it for only a bit and return it. However I'm way behind my study schedule and needed to use it plus it's not my problem his friend lost his calculator before hos important test. Ie keeps begging me to give the calculator to him. My father thinks I should give him the calculator too saying how I was just doing it to "annoy him" . My bro left because he was running late with one calculator. My dad is now mad at me cause I didn't listen to him . So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
Oq8qlbYVh3qfu4F7n3z9euXJuntaV5hu
|
9t7eti
|
{
"description": "not wanting to help my ex-roommate pay my real estate agency money for cleaning out his dirt",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA, for not wanting to help my ex-roommate pay my real estate agency money for cleaning out his dirt?
|
So, me and my roommate have been living together for 6 months. To give some insight into our situation: He only touched the vacuum cleaner once, he never washed the kitchen, he only washed his dishes when i repeatedly asked him to, he never bought any cleaning stuff, he only took out his garbage when I asked him to, etc. The list goes on. He is basically the nightmare of a roommate.
I moved out 10 days before him, and because I didn't trust his knowledge when it comes to washing, I cleaned and tidied the entire apartment, which took me an entire day! I scrubbed each millimeter of the apartment (except his bedroom and his bathroom).
After doing this, I showed him how he had to clean before he was to move out, etc.
Moving on, to the day after he moved out, we got a message from the real estate agency where they told us that the apartment needs cleaning, especially his room and bathroom plus the kitchen (which I know I washed real good before I moved out). So they wanted us to pay for a cleaning company to clean this (we can not come back to do this ourselves, as we are from another country). My ex-roommate paid for this, but is now asking me for half of the money, but I refuse in giving him anything. AITA for refusing?
&#x200B;
TLDR; My ex-roommate, who only cleaned our apartment when I told him to, is asking me for half the money that he used to pay a cleaning company to clean his dirt. I cleaned the entire apartment (except his rooms) when I was moving out, which was 10 days before him. AITA for refusing to pay him?
Sorry for the long post, and sorry for my english.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Mk8Jp032mKB5Y2wQAi2RCcqMV5oB8gF1
|
adlmqz
|
{
"description": "not getting out of my seat when someone else had already \"claimed\" it",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not getting out of my seat when someone else had already “claimed” it?
|
On mobile, sorry for formatting...
background - I returned to school after winter break on January 3rd (Thursday of last week). I had a new semester class, and a group of my friends happened to be in the same class, so I sat next to them. The next day (Friday), I was absent from school because I was feeling ill. In that time, another student sat in the seat I was sitting in on Thursday.
When Monday (the day I am writing this) rolled around, I sat in the same seat as I did on Thursday, unaware of what had occurred on Friday. When the other student in question walked into class and saw me sitting in ‘his’ seat, he was visibly upset, but did not confront me (I’m not saying that the chair in question is mine per se, just that I was sitting there on Thursday and that I would probably sit there for the rest of the course. People usually sit in the same seat every day regardless if there is a seating chart or not).
Today also happened to be when the teacher created an official seating chart. She didn’t assign our seats, but the seats we were sitting in at the time was now our official seat. I was sitting in my Thursday seat, so it was now my official seat. A friend of mine sitting next to me told me that the other individual in question sat there the previous day.
I am unsure if I was being a dick. If the general consensus shows that I am in fact the asshole, I’ll offer him his seat back the next day. Thanks in advance.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0Ek84xMPNOwZpgEXbpf5PIg07GmT6Jwb
|
akv1t6
|
{
"description": "getting frustrated at a friend for not helping me in a game",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for getting frustrated at a friend for not helping me in a game
|
So, like I said, I was playing a video game (League of Legends for further context) with a friend. I was a character that relied on him to get kills in the early-game phase. He constantly ran away as soon as he saw an enemy to let me die (he was a healer so if he stayed neither of us would die). I told him that it was his job to help me out when that happens (since he’s a healer) and he wasn’t doing well this round and said, “Oh I thought my job was to die.” I dismissed this comment as I did not know how to respond and he continued running away and leaving me to die. I said it a couple more times and at the end of the game I was carrying the team. When the game ended I had the vast majority of kills (36 kills and the 2nd highest amount of kills on the team was 6). I then noticed a few days later that he had blocked me. This had happened previously for reasons I still do not know, so I just assumed he was a moody person. When I requested to play with my friends (which were in the match that I previously described), one of them told me I was being really harsh on the whole team, and that she felt the resentfulness among the team.
I have never considered myself a rude person, and when I told my other friend (who had no part in this), she was very confused and said that my teammates were just moody. I honestly don’t know if I’m in the wrong here.
P.S. if you’re going to go on some tangent about how video games ruin relationships or connections, please keep that opinion to yourself.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
9xjCSp2hAy6OZuYRWcNRRFOWNI4rIMsc
|
a3f5lu
|
{
"description": "going home for Christmas and New Year's",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for going home for Christmas and New Year's?
|
I am leaving my girlfriend, to go home for Christmas and New Years. She is Turkish i am Danish, and she is very angry at me for not staying or coming back to Turkey for New Year's. I have been living with her in Istanbul for 3 months, because i was lucky enough to be able to take a break from my studies. A break which will be over after New Year's and i will have to get back to Denmark.
I bought the ticket home two weeks ago, telling her that i would like to go, and back then she agreed to it, after i told her that no matter what i do in this situation i could not satisfy everybody.
There was not any conflict or trouble before today, where she bought it up, and started asking me to be there at New Year's. After telling her it was not possible. She then bought forward, that i had promised that we should experience New Year's together in Istanbul. A promise i apparently gave her on the latest New Years.
So she is angry that i am breaking a promise. I had totally forgot that i said such a thing, before she told me. And she is now threatening me with breaking up.
I know that i am not leaving her completely alone, as she can either go back to her family, or visit one of her friends and his partner in Antalya for New Year's. She says she does not want to be the only single in a couple parties.
Because of her exam schedule and financial situations, it is impossible for her to come to me for New Year's, and i am not very keen on celebrating Christmas away from my family. Neither do i as a student have the money to buy a ticket back to Istanbul, just to go back to Denmark again after New Year's.
I want to go home, i already bought the ticket, and made my family know that i would come. Am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
qJbgmzAOdT4cZXF9mEz3KS0XLVEfAkmm
|
aqvvpr
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be friends with a kid who has depression",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be friends with a kid who has depression?
|
For a school project my friends and I were paired up with a kid who usually keeps to himself. He usually sat by himself at lunch but we invited him to sit at our table to discuss the project. We even exchanged phone numbers and social media. After the project was over he continued sitting with us which was fine until he just started talking about his depression with us and how bad his life is and just bums us out and makes things awkward. When we sit with him there are topics we can’t discuss because when we do he looks really depressed (An example was yesterday when we were discussing plans we had with our girlfriends). Apparently he called my friend really late at night because he needed to talk to somebody. He tells us his problems almost everyday and always thanks us for being friends with him and that he’s glad he can talk to us. We’ve asked him to stop telling us these things and that he should seek professional help but he says his family can’t afford it. I have no problems being friends with him but I really don’t want or think I’m suited to be his personal therapist. My friends are saying if he doesn’t stop they’re going to ask him to go back to sitting alone because he’s starting to make them feel depressed and I kind of agree.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
bkJYCnxEUCwk0VTpafpRxg9CmfDweo8d
|
asrdr7
|
{
"description": "not high-fiving a kid at my work",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not high-fiving a kid at my work
|
I used to work at a movie theatre and during one of my shifts, I was ringing up some snacks for a couple of middle school aged kids. One of them seemed to be in really good mood and gave a high five to my coworker, but when he tried to give me one I told him no. He didn’t seem to be bothered and just walked away with his friends to his movie. Was I an asshole for doing this.
FWIW, the reason I didn’t want to give him a high five is because I thought he was going to pull a fast one on me and pull his hand back before we high fived. I didn’t care about violating any health codes.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
2KDNJPgG7u9NyqJhsrOgzwWXH9AVmiMO
|
b1nsrn
|
{
"description": "being irritated at my wife for scheduling plans for us while I'm normally sleeping, and not telling me until the night before",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for being irritated at my wife for scheduling plans for us while I’m normally sleeping, and not telling me until the night before?
|
Okay, so a little background info:
I work 48 hour weeks minimum and for the last couple of months it’s been 60 hour weeks. I work 4:30pm to 4:30am, usually fall asleep between 6am and 7am after I get off work. Normally wake up around 1:30pm but I’ve been extra tired these last couple of weeks and have been waking up at 2:30pm.
This week my wife asked me if I could skip the extra day this week and take Saturday off so that we could go out for St. Patrick’s Day with our friends/family. Neither of us drink or go out very often at all, so I cleared it with my boss and was pretty excited to be able to tie one on tomorrow. I could use a night of drinking honestly.
Then earlier tonight she informs me that we are being picked up at 2. My first thought was that the bars stop serving alcohol at 2 so that would be kind of dumb, then it dawned on me that she meant 2pm. At first I was king of a dick, thinking that it wasn’t her that made the plans so I was saying stuff like “who goes drinking at 2pm?!?” Had I known that it was her idea I wouldn’t have been an ass about it in that way, but whatever. In all the times we’ve gone to a bar we have NEVER gone before 9pm.
So I explained to her that I guess I’d have to skip, because I’m not waking up on my day off an hour/hour and a half early to go drinking. I like to wake up, have coffee, go to the gym, come home and shower, etc. That would be like if I woke her up at 6:30am (she usually gets up at 8am for work) to take her drinking.
Now, we RARELY argue, whether it be little stuff or big stuff, but she was kind of butthurt that I “made her feel stupid” (which was not my intention at all, I was honestly just trying to explain why I’m not cool with going drinking at 2pm) and was also mad that I didn’t want to go out anymore.
At the same time, I was butthurt because to me it’s pretty inconsiderate that she would not only make these plans when she knew I’d be asleep (and yes she knew I’d be sleeping, I text her when I wake up every day) and also that she’s just now telling me the night before. I mean, even if had known it was at 2pm at least I would have been like “okay, guess I can’t make it” instead of thinking all week that we were going to go out and have a good time Saturday night. I went from looking forward to it to being disappointed about it, not to mention that if I had known this I wouldn’t have taken the day off and just worked it because the whole 12-hour shift would have been overtime.
So now we are kind of at odds with each other, because she’s irritated with me for not wanting to go/making her feel stupid, and I’m irritated with her for making plans like that when she knew I’d be asleep and then not telling me until the night before.
So, I’m ready to accept my judgement here... AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
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}
|
WRONG
|
9gDEt8cQfhUF2fWx0d8w0lgfaAYylXcV
|
b5167a
|
{
"description": "calling out my friend for faking problems",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for calling out my friend for faking problems?
|
OK, so I'm doing a drama course in school right now. We're all sort of friends in it and we created an Instagram group chat with all of us (just to chat)
One person there, let's called him Jeremy,had told us that his grandma had been ill in the group chat. This shouldn't be something that raises an alarm, but Jeremy constantly makes up stories to make us try to comfort him and so he can feel good. e.g. when his grandma had cancer and it magically got cured 2 weeks later.
Someone had called him out on it and I defended them, telling him how he shouldn't make up stories to make people miserable. Immediately everybody else defended Jeremy, saying he deserves support for all of his problems.
Now, I will admit that I phrased it quite badly and I could've said it better. I still don't know if Jeremy's grandma was ill or not and I have felt guilty since.
I've told a different group chat (just 4 close friends) and they all support me, but I feel they are not giving an honest opinion because they're my friends and don't want to make me feel bad so I've come here to get an unbiased opinion.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
RLVWWMZnhSo0VpIX0GYhjAs05bEFmVLJ
|
anlrdc
|
{
"description": "being excited over my German-US dual citizenship",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being excited over my German-US dual citizenship?
|
TLDR: My (22F) aunt (54F) thinks that I gained German citizenship as a result of the immense suffering experienced under the Nazi Regime.
I was born and raised in America, as was my dad, but my paternal grandparents were born in Germany and immigrated to the US. As a result, my dad is a dual German-US citizen. About a year ago, he pointed out that I too could obtain a German passport since I was a citizen by descent. He pointed out several reasons why I may want to have a passport.
1) traveling to Europe would be easier and I could stay beyond the 3 month limitation that applies to non EU citizens.
2) I could live and work in the EU without needing a visa.
3) I have more options of where I can live than just the US.
Upon first discussing this with my dad I was excited at all the opportunities this could afford me. When I went to share the news with my aunt, she immediately mentioned how I was gaining this at the expense of immense suffering of previous generations and made me feel guilty for even being excited. She totally downplayed the benefits mentioned above and was talking about the suffering of others. Now don't get me wrong, I think the Nazi Regime was horrible and I hate that it even happened. I just don't think I should feel bad for being a German citizen. Ever since that conversation I feel self conscious about even bringing it up with people. So AITA for being excited to be a dual citizen?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
gJDfLZopa7Ov26NZRbmFqqvbWVGwIbgn
|
as2zb5
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take care of my grandfather, who has cancer",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take care of my grandfather, who has cancer?
|
TL;DR: My mom wants to get my grandfather, who has cancer and will probably not recover from it, to live with us. Since I am waiting for a place at a university and only have two “smaller” jobs she wants me to primarily take care of him. I think this is too much stress for me and could potentially scar me for the rest of my life, I am only 19 years old.
Backstory:
The relationship to my mum (and her side of the family) is difficult, to say the least. My grandma was the only kind and understanding person from that side of the family and ever since she died a few years ago my grandpa has basically turned into that typical right winged idiot, who complains about the government and refugees all the time. I didn’t really like him before she died and now I try to stay away from him as much as possible at family meetings. He is just as stubborn and unreasonable as my mother, and both of them constantly criticize my lifestyle choices (e.g. job choice, clothing style, overall behaviour.)
Now:
He has cancer. And my mum, understandably is absolutely shocked and wants to help him as good as possible. He lives two hours away from us, alone in his house. But he is too stubborn to accept help from any nurses or services in general that would take care of him in his house. He believes he can do everything on his own, though he probably won’t recover from this disease. My mum can’t live with the thought of just leaving him there and that something might happen and then no one can help him. I understand that.
BUT I also know from a friend that taking care of someone who is close to death is literally traumatizing, especially if that person is so close to you. Even though the mum of my friend, who took care of his grandmother that had Alzheimer, is a nurse, his family was always “in alarm mode” when they heard any noise in the house. He says he still wakes up in the middle of the night if he hears a noise and panics something happened to his grandma, though she has been dead for years.
My mum wants me to primarily take care of him as well, because as she puts it “you don’t have any job related responsibilities” (I have two jobs btw). Also; my grandfather doesn’t like me and I don’t get along with him either, I am bad with kids and elderly people in general. I just don’t know how to take care of someone who is so sick. It scares me if I am honest. So, for the sake of my own mental health, I threatened to move to my uncle, who has a small flat he would let me rent for a dicsounted price. Ever since I told her that she totally ignores me and if she talks to me, she just says how selfish and in-moral I am. But I seriously think it would damage me permanently to be forced to take care of someone I don’t respect and watch him get worse and worse by the hour.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
0In3eDrLKDWIk3wXiVEflfdsc8Du3mNZ
|
b2ejkv
| null |
AITA? Mum and Dad are getting their dog snipped next week. I told them in jest they're probably sacrificing their last chance at grandchildren. I think I might be a horrible son.
|
As stated in the title... Does my sense of humour run a bit too dark for good taste?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
C77VS0JMcZN4KV2f64SMuWDO3yrcTvdG
|
a75puc
|
{
"description": "going out with girls just to waste time",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for going out with girls just to waste time.
|
To begin with, I'm a very very nihilistic person,though I prefer to view life as a game rather than it being absolutely useless. As someone with this life view, I don't see meaning in much things, however I understand that I feel sensual pleasure just like everyone else, whether that be through company of someone I enjoy or physical pleasure.
As a result, I tend to go out with girls who I don't necessarily like, or see myself ever liking (never have really had that butterflies in stomach feeling for any girl, though I know it could happen), just to pass time and make life less mundane, I tend to break it off after a few months with these girls before they or I get too emotionally attached. Am I an asshole? I'm willing to explain anything in more detail to any replies.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
2iMAQLialQGywy6FWmjZuA9ycXrpekKv
|
a39bm7
|
{
"description": "having this account",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for having this account?
|
A lot of what I post on this account is about my GF and problems/concerns I have with her. She knows about my main account and its posts there. However I have kept this account a secret from her because I don't want her to react poorly to me anonymously going to the internet when I have problems with her.
Now it's not like every time I have a problem with her, I come here, it's more like things I genuinely feel like I'm making no headway on when I talk to her about. I do talk to her about everything I post on here, she just doesn't know I post.
My posts are few and far between because I know if I fall into the habit of bringing everything to Reddit, our relationship would take a huge hit and things would end up very poorly, which I would rather avoid.
Ideally I post about other things that bother me in my life, but a philosophy I try to live by is to only worry about problems I can solve so if I have an issue with my mom I can't deal with, I just let it go because I know her as a person and I couldn't get anywhere with her with all the help in the world.
So I dunno, am I a piece of shit for having this account and posting what I do on here? I just feel like I am, but at the same time I'm here posting this, so maybe a part of me feels justified.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
zxx7RiOlnj6uWbaEhviit3nTEg9yOPYM
|
9yvzz8
|
{
"description": "getting my aunt and uncle's cat a 10 day quarantine after they let me stay at their house rent free",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting my aunt and uncle's cat a 10 day quarantine after they let me stay at their house rent free?
|
This past week I was staying at my uncle's place for a week while I was attending a CNA class. This class was about an hour away from where I live and started at 8 in the morning--my uncle agreed to let me sleep at his place, provide me a bed and some basic amenities rent free so that I could travel less and be closer to school that week.
Everything went swimmingly until the last day; I came home from class, and as I was getting out of my car to go inside a cat rubbed up against my legs. Doing what any sane person would, I reached down to pat his head. Kitty was enjoying it until a car zoomed by and spooked kitty, at which point he mauled my hand.
I work at an urgent care clinic, and at least once a week I'll see someone with a cat bite that has gone septic, so no way in hell was I going to go about my business without first getting that shit looked at. Per policy, the clinic made me fill out an Animal Control bite form before I could be seen. I was treated, put on meds and then sent on my way.
Right when I get home from the clinic, I see my cousins playing with the same cat that had bit me just hours before. Turns out it was their cat, but wasn't allowed inside and I didn't ever know about it. I tell my uncle that it had bit me, that I went to the urgent care clinic, and asked him if the cat had had all of it's shots. He said yes it had been immunized and there shouldn't be any problems.
Fast forward to yesterday when I get a call from animal control with some follow up questions. They ask if I had any new info about whose cat it was/where it happened etc. I give them my uncle's phone number when they asked for it assuming that they want to talk to him about the cat's vaccination records etc.
Today my aunt texts me saying that animal control rolled up to their house, cited them, and are making them quarantine their cat for 10 days. I told her what had happened, explaining that at the time of the bite, I had zero information on their cat and that I didn't want to get rabies or an infection, and that I only provided my uncle with their number for follow-up purposes.
I feel like I did what was responsible, but I just can't shake the feeling of being a gigantic cunt and a burden to their family. My aunt didn't sound pleased at all about everything and I understand why-they let me stay at their place, and as a thank you, I got them a 10 day quarantine and a citation.
Did I do anything wrong in providing the city w/ my uncle's info? Should I have just not been a baby and went on with my day? I just feel bad that they let me in and I kind of shit on their hospitality.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
n5AdNLy0heisP1pza1aOQ8hAw3tnKAst
|
as0lh8
|
{
"description": "audibly gagging over friends sweat & body odor smell on new bed sheets",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for audibly gagging over friends sweat & body odor smell on new bed sheets?
|
- sorry for weird format! im currently on mobile.
My friend (19M) has been staying over at my house for the past year or so due to him being homeless
during last year and this year, he probably took at MOST 4 showers. I offered him to shower here in a shared bathroom between my sister and niece but he refuses because “it’s dirty” - I have cleaned and bought a bath mat to fix this but he makes excuses often that “Oh well it was dirty earlier” “I dont smell THAT bad” (he does)
Anyway I just bought a new bed, sheets, pillows TWO DAYS AGO because he absolutely WRECKED mine with his sweat and stench. (literal sweat stains and smell of his b.o. carved into the fibers of the bed) I know its not me sweating. While i do burn up like a furnace in bed, My sweat is not so extreme to the point it leaves the sheets damp and wrinkled every night. Plus, my side of the bed is perfectly fine.
Today, I go to lay on my bed when i notice that the sheets are wafting this overwhelming body odor, the sheets were wrinkled from the sweat. I kept involuntarily gagging to the point i almost threw up while to take off the sheets on my bed.
I have smelled dead animals before, and if you have too you know how disgusting that smells? this was almost the perfect replica of that smell but just musky.
He heard me gagging and throwing the sheets off the bed. I brought up that he needs to shower because his body odor was very overwhelming and i dont want to ruin my new shests and he got upset saying stuff like “ill just sleep on the couch so you arent bothered by my smell” or just being rude to me in general because i brought up that his body odor is pretty bad.
Tl;dr: just bought a new bed & bed sheets; friend who refuses to shower slept on it two times and now the sheets smell incredibly musky and are moist - complained about it to him and he believes i was an asshole for gagging at the smell and is, in general, being upset over it
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
CvgmevOI7aYbSzIwbBk3IDirahKogk8x
|
b05ib0
|
{
"description": "feeling excluded",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for feeling excluded?
|
Okay, I don't know if I'm just being over dramatic here but I've been feeling really left out recently with my group of friends.
There are around 12 of us and we all became friends through playing Counter-Strike. There are about 6 of us who play the game a lot (in the context of our group) and the other 6 are either: just play sometimes, don't really take the game seriously or are busy with school work or other activities. So, there are 6 of us left that play the game a lot then the other 5 (the 6 people who play a lot but doesn’t include me) started a "team" which doesn't include me, which includes making a steam group, group chat on social media and talk within themselves which makes me feel really excluded. I thought about reasons why they would leave me out, I thought that skill (in the game) could be the reason but I that's impossible since rank-wise, I am the highest along with one of the 5. They even joined a LAN tournament without me even knowing and I was still playing with them but then I noticed them being secretive about this new group.
AITA for thinking this?
Also, what could be the reason for me being excluded?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
pojAj2taKviQ5SuEZtrtM0CCS1KH6qoX
|
atadxg
|
{
"description": "cutting of my ties with my now ex-best friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting of my ties with my now ex-best friend?
|
This all started about a month ago, when my ex-best friend, C, wanted to hang out with me. I explained to C that I was unable to hang out with him because I had other responsibilities. Most notably, I decided do a favor for my therapist by watching her 13-15 year old pomeranian while she was away. (They don't know how old he is b/c he’s a rescue)
I explained to C that I needed to keep a close eye on the dog, give him his medicines, etc. C replied with "The dog will be just fine with a leash and a heavy chair, it's dead anyway. Besides, I'm basically your therapist at this point. Stop wasting your money on somebody who doesn't give a shit about you.
I'm not easy to anger, but this just got to me and I tried to convey that to C. He shuts me down with "You're just salty you can't hang out with me because you're 'busy'. You can't pull that shit on me... I mean, we both know that you don't have a life outside of me." I saw this as an attempt to manipulate me, much like my ex-S/O did. For some dumb reason, I decided to apologize to him; I had convinced myself that I had overreacted.
Couple days later, I was able to meet up with C at his house. He suggested walking over to the diner a couple blocks from his house because it was such a nice day. We started walking to the diner and everything seemed pretty normal, so I thought nothing of it.
We get to the diner, order our food and sit there talking for a few minutes before he says "Let's talk about your episode you had last week. I want to make sure you don't pull that shit again."
I tell him that I wasn't comfortable talking about that in a public place. C replied with "Exactly.I only brought you here to talk about your BS without having to deal with you bugging out on me." I refused to talk.
So, we just sit there in silence for 10 minutes as we wait. But when our food comes out, C just sits there, buried in his phone. After about 5 minutes, he gets up without eating, throws a $50 gift card down and walks out with a simple "Bye."
I wave my waitress over so I could ask about getting the check. She notices that I am visibly upset and sits down on the other side to comfort me. She then brings me the check and two to-go boxes. I was so disgusted with him that I didn't even take his uneaten meal. (Kind of regret not taking it now, actually). Luckily the gift card covered the meal and a hefty tip for my waitress.
Fast forward to a couple of days ago, C messages me (excuse the bad grammar, I'm literally quoting C's texts) “just wanted to reopen our line of communication and apologize for walking out, that was a fucking scumbag move." later on he completely changes his attitude; "I literally left enough money to pay for both of us so it's not like I left you with the bill and we walked there so it wasn't like I drove off and you were being a bitch for no reason so what's the fuckin issue it's been a month get over it".
After that, I decided it would be better if I just cut off all my ties with him.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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