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{
"description": "not telling my cousin that part of our family once owned another part of his",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA if I don't tell my cousin that part of our family once owned another part of his?
|
I'm extremely into genealogy. I've put a lot of time and effort into researching my own over the past 6 years. I send out periodic updates to family members all over the country via emails maybe twice a year but definitely once at the end of the year. I almost never hear back from them on this particular issue. Basically, no one is as big a nerd about this stuff as me. I do know that they read the emails and internalize the info. I've gotten pretty far back generationally speaking and most of my family are late-19th century to early 20th-century immigrants from Europe that settled in and around New York and Connecticut. I'm incredibly proud of that immigrant part of my lineage considering the station in which we find ourselves only a few decades later.
​
But in August, I got thrown a bit of a curveball. It turns out that me and my cousin's 5th & 6th, great-grandfathers were slave owners in upstate New York from the 1770's until the 1820's when the last 19 were freed. I found a list of that last group and three of those people had the same last name as my cousin and after a bit of digging, well... to make a long story short: part of my cousin's family (his mother's side, white) was once owned by another part of his family (his father's side, black). I find this mortifying and it is absolutely killing me. It is literally is making my stomach hurt right now. I desperately even payed a professional genealogist a few hundred bucks to try and disprove my finding somehow to no avail. I've been putting off an update for months and now it's the end of the year and I'm faced with the choice of telling everyone or telling no one. I've written the draft email that excludes this information but I haven't sent it yet. I feel very strongly that adding this information into the email would cause undue humiliation and mental anguish for my family and particularly my cousin and my aunt and I don't want to visit upon them anything close to the emotions I'm having, if not more. No one would have ever learned about this if it wasn't for my dumb hobby anyway.
​
So, AITA if I leave this out?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "leaving my job in a time where my bosses really need me",
"pronormative_score": 37,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for leaving my job in a time where my bosses really need me?
|
Hi reddit,
For context:
We are a small company, there was only two people really experienced here. One of them left last December and I got a proposal from the same company to go with him. After much thought, I talked with my last remaning experienced colleague about the matter and she told me that it would be a bit unfair from my side to the company to leave at such a critical moment. I've decided to stay based on this thought, too, because I'm not as experienced but my bosses really like me and I think I've been doing a very good job so far. So think it would be really hard for them to lose us both at the same time.
But January came, and they decided to fire our last experienced member (the same one I just mentioned) simply because one of my bosses (they are a couple) doesn't like her. She was top notch professionaly, everybody liked her, expect the boss. So they fired her, leaving the team even more crippled.
My feeling of "being unfair to leave" dissolved completely on that moment.
A month later (a week ago) I received a fantastic offer for my career on another company. I really want to go, even though I know it will hurt my company and current bosses a lot. They recently gave me a raise and I know they are totally counting on me, but I still feel like leaving.
​
AITA for leaving?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "pressuring my girlfriend overseas to move where I am, just because my professional career is entrenched here",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For pressuring my girlfriend overseas to move where I am, just because my professional career is entrenched here?
|
I work for a relatively large consulting firm and am comfortable with my job and the people I work with. It's pretty chill here compared to more competitive territories in the US or Asia Pacific.
My gf lives in Japan, where we met a few years ago while I was on exchange. I absolutely love her to bits. We Skype regularly and I fly off on my holidays to see her in person. In our discussions, the topic of us being together in a more permanent situation gets raised quite frequently.
She tells me that she doesn't really like how people are in Japan, with the usual cold demeanor they have with strangers and their unreasonable standards. However, it is still the country where she was born and raised - so of course she still feels at home there.
I like Japan as a country to visit, but I'm adamant that it isn't a country that I'd like to continue my consulting career in. Even if I spoke fluent Japanese (which I do not), Japanese companies tend to work crazy hours and have very backwards culture around certain societal norms that I take for granted in my country.
She's recently gotten a full time job in her chosen field, and wants to wait it out for a few years before a decision is made. However, I've made it clear that I have no intention of moving where I am. That she has to move here, if our relationship is to progress. Am I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "doing this, even though we were undefined",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for doing this, even though we were undefined?
|
Long story short, my ex boyfriend (C) broke up with me 2.5 months ago. We stopped talking and cut each other out of our lives and sort of moved on; he started sleeping with a random tinder girl, and I started hanging out with/sleeping with one of my work friends (J), who I’ve known for 2 years, actually a bit longer than I’ve known my ex.
Me and J started sleeping together and I told him at the beginning that I didn’t want to date or catch feelings because we weren’t compatible and I didn’t want that and neither of us were completely over our exes. So it was just sex at first, but then we started hanging out and doing homework and watching movies and hanging out with my roommate. He would sleep over almost every night, with sex maybe 1-2 nights of of the week. Needless to say, we both started catching feelings. I pushed mine down as best as I could because I knew he didn’t want anything like that, and I didn’t think I could fall for someone again. He never outright said “hey I like you and I want to date you” but he would say that he liked me and would give me compliments and basically do all the boyfriend things without any expectation of dating.
Halloween rolls around, and I’m invited to a party at my friend K’s place, and my ex was invited too. I ignored him for the first hour and then got really drunk and talked to him, and it was good. We talked about a lot of big things in our lives and how we did miss each other, and then he was kind enough to hold my hair back when I threw up later. After rinsing my mouth out and all, we talked in the bathroom and basically ended up making out. He walked me home, tucked me into bed, and stayed because I asked him to. So we slept in the same bed, no big deal. Then the next morning, we had sex. Sober. Yeah. Mutually agreed upon.
That next night, I went with J to a friend’s party, and we were hanging out and he asked me how the previous night’s party with C had been. I told him it was okay at first, and then later in the night I told him what had happened. Needless to say, he was furious, told me this was over, and that he didn’t want to speak to me again and stormed out. He proceeded to block me on all social media.
I talked with C two days after all of this happened, admitting everything that I had told J and all of that, and C comforted me and held me and gave me good advice. Then he kissed me, as in he initiated it and wanted it. I told him we needed to talk about all that had happened but we haven’t yet.
And then tonight I saw J at another party and cornered him and told him that I was sorry, that I did have feelings for him and that we needed to talk about things, which he drunkenly agreed to.
So basically, AITA for telling J the truth about the fact that I slept with C? J and I were not dating, and it was never specifically stated as exclusive, but I asked him to tell me if he slept with someone else (he never did). And AITA for wanting to get back with my ex a little bit? AITA for cornering J at a party?
Please help. I feel like an ass and I just found this sub so help, and ask any questions for clarification
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
|
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|
{
"description": "putting my neighbors laundry all over the laundry room",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for putting my neighbors laundry all over the laundry room?
|
So tonight I go downstairs to do my laundry and both the washer and the dryer are full of laundry, I live in a two apartment buildig. Would have let this go and just do it tommorrow, but it's midnight and I work at 8am. So I took their laundry out the washer and put it on top of the dryer, then I took the dry laundry and put it in their basket they have down there.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
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|
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|
{
"description": "being wishy-washy when it comes to my crush",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being wishy-washy when it comes to my crush
|
I'm 17 as if now, in my school we have a advanced class for English, math, and history. I'm in the advanced class for English (I got in from test scores, sorry if this post is not written correctly) and we started book clubs. My teacher assigned me to a group with my crush who is also been my friend since 7th grade, and I started liking her in 11th (saying this so I don't seem like I'm saying I'm a Incel in the "Friend zone") but even if I do like her she can be a ass a times. Usually demeaning others if she's better at a skill or not apologizing if she makes someone angry. To get to the point a read 150 pages ahead of her. Let's call her G, after I came to English the next day and she saw she was on page 130 and I was on 280. She freaked demanding that I just play on my phone for a week until she catches up, I told her this is unreasonable but she wouldn't hear it. She signed rolled her eyes, and continued reading, I stopped to make her happy. I tried ignoring her for the rest of the day and I couldn't handle it very well, we Talk a lot and her trying to start a conversation, along with when I got home for the whole day her spamming me "IncognitoClient please respond" and "I'm sorry if I made you mad :( please text back I want to talk I'm bored". I later texted back saying I forgive her for everything and we talked until I was tired and fell asleep. My friends later took my phone from me and looked through my texts, nothing unusual they were just dicking around I do the same thing to them. When they opened my Texts with G the told me I'm a pussy, that I can't hold my ground all because I want "Coochie". Am I the asshole for just not holding my ground, and letting G win again. She did technically apologize but when I say sorry she always expects a essay describing what I did wrong. My friends said I should only accept the same back.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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RIGHT
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az33sj
| null |
AITA: bestfriend hooked up w brother even tho it makes me uncomfortable and always talks about him.
|
I’m in need of some advice my best friend who I called my sister was staying at my house every weekend and when she comes over she hangs around my brother more than me she has even slept in his bed a few times, admitted to me she hooked up with him and gets angry when he mentions other girls around her so what I’m pretty much asking is am I the asshole for distancing myself from her, like was it a breach of “girl code” as me and my brother are close.
She had mentioned it before they hooked up and she definitely knew it made me uncomfortable and is becoming obsessive with my brother.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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NOBODY
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
9wzlmd
|
{
"description": "wanting to go to a concert with another girl",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting to go to a concert with another girl?
|
First ever post on Reddit in my 2+ years of lurking so forgive me if my formatting or anything else is not correct.
For context im a 24 year old guy and my girlfriend is the same age.
So last Saturday I went out with a couple of friends whilst my girlfriend stayed at home, one friend was there that I haven't seen in a while but have been friends with for over 8 years. The friend is a girl.
The night goes on and she eventually tells me she has a spare ticket to a concert on the following Thursday and she's upset because the person she was supposed to be going with won't be going with her anymore. It's for a band that I used to enjoy when I was younger so I checked my schedule and I was free that evening and said I would go with her so she wouldn't have to go alone. Obviously she's very happy as she thought she was going to be going alone and I'm happy because I get to see an old band that I used to like and get to spend the night with an old friend.
My girlfriend on the other hand is not happy. At all. She is saying that I'm not allowed to go with her because "just you and her going to a concert is basically a date." For the sake of honesty and to get an unbiased opinion it is worth noting that when me and this friend were 16/17 we shared a drunk kiss - which my girlfriend knows about. But in the 7 years after nothing of a romantic nature has happened between us. I can't understand my girlfriends reasoning because in my head I know how platonic our friendship is and it is the furthest thing from a date that I can imagine, it's just two friends enjoying a concert together. I've been with my girlfriend for nearly 3 years, living together for just over 1. We've been arguing about it for the past few days, the concert is tomorrow and we can't come to any kind of agreement, she flat out refuses to listen to my reasoning and is telling me I can't go.
So, AITA in this situation? what do you guys think??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
g2SL4ItBBuhyyfSrwxf7OuQiiAcYnokh
|
b2g7zw
|
{
"description": "not driving a disabled person to the train station",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not driving a disabled person to the train station
|
So we (me and my mom) are loading up our car with grocerys after shopping.
Some random lady comes to us and asks if we can get her to the train station.
Apparently she needed to be their in 10 minutes.
As she is a complete stranger (seemed shady) and im with my mom we decline and suggest to ask some others as we are in a hurry.
She looked kinda off (Apparently she is disabled) could not tell.
She argues how it isnt far away and we should just drive her.
We deny again.
This goes on.
As she leaves now she shouts at us "You are horrible people for not taking me to the station"
So are we?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
akjxvp
|
{
"description": "accepting gifts from a guy even though I am seeing someone else",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA For accepting gifts from a guy even though I am seeing someone else?
|
I'm 21f, he's 20m. One of my good friends from school bought me a nice handbag and wallet for my birthday, probably cost around like $350, this was last month. I was really happy he got me something and it was so sweet of him. About a week later he basically confessed his love for me and I had to turn him down because I didn't like him like that and I had starting seeing a guy in November (who's now my bf). He didn't know about this because I didn't tell him, and he was really devastated. He cried a lot, acted like a child kinda and was extremely sad. But never really insulted me or pushed me in anyway he just kept saying he loved me which annoyed me a lot. The second time we met up to speak about things between us again he bought me a really nice Tiffany bracelet and said he cares about me so much etc and wanted me to have this. I took it, he also wrote me a letter telling me how much he cares about and loves me and stuff like that. I know I shouldn't have took this but it was such a nice bracelet and I've wanted one for so long. And honestly it was nice getting something from someone, even though it was from a guy trying to buy my love I guess? He asked to speak again after class and was still sad but not crying anymore and he gave me a few pandora rings and earrings which were nice. He said he bought all this stuff for me before and didn't want to return it and just wanted to give it to me so I know how much he cares about me. It was just such a sad situation from the start and I didn't want him to be sad anymore so I just took them. I feel really bad about taking like 1k worth of gifts from a guy that I friend zoned and I've known for like 2 years but they were good gifts and I think not taking them would have made him even more sad. I told him we can never be together and we can only ever be friends and he almost started crying again but said ok.
​
I also have not told my new bf about this at all as I feel like I can handle it on my own and did effectively.
​
AITA?
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
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|
agqzrt
|
{
"description": "yelling at my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for yelling at my (22F) boyfriend (23M)
|
So the other night before bed my bf and I were scrolling through the TV channels. He stops on a fox news talk show, where they are talking about toxic masculinity. Of course the commentators are saying there is no such thing as toxic masculinity and saying it's ridiculous.
For context, I am moderate-liberal, and my boyfriend is all over the place but claims to be libertarian. Whenever we have political discussions we disagree, so I tend to avoid them. I can accept his views as long as he doesn't wander into Trump-supporter territory. We still have pretty similar priorities and are generally very happy with each other.
Well after watching this segment, I keep my mouth shut because I'm trying to go to bed and not get into it with each other. But he starts this long tirade/rant about how toxic femininity is the real problem, since all girls nowadays are whores who seek attention with duck faces on instagram. He then goes into how Mackenzie Bezos is a whore for taking Jeff's money, and how the world is shit now that its the "century of women". I obviously disagree with all of this, and I feel he took it way too far. I hadn't even said anything up to this point, other than to comment that the fox news people weren't letting the psychologist talk. So I leave the room, and lock myself in the bedroom to get ready for bed in peace. It wasn't late yet, and I just wanted to shower without being bothered.
He then freaks out that I did this and calls me immature. I admit I could have handled it better but it's really frustrating to deal with his misogyny. He says demeaning things about women all the time, and it's hard not to take it personally. At this point I just get in bed and his verbal attacks continue. This is where I kind of lost it.
I defended myself and told him that he was very immature to act like that in the first place and make such offensive comments when we have talked about this before. I start fact checking his arguments til basically he has nothing to say. Then, I started to attack his character. I called him misogynistic, and said I don't think our values line up. I questioned his morals, how he treats his parents, him stealing/lying, etc. It was off-topic but it all came out at once since I was frustrated. Most of these concerns I had brought up with him before but they still bothered me because of his continued behavior.
The next day he's very upset with me, and insists that I apologize. I do, because I know that I overreacted and shouldn't have gone that far. But then he starts saying he can't believe I consider him misogynistic, that he only says those things because I say "men are trash". First of all, I only say that as kind of a knee-jerk response when I hear about rape/sexual assault stories. In contrast, he'll call a woman a whore for posting a selfie on social media. Second of all, I've seen the misogynistic tendencies in him since we met. Third, I wish he had just said that me saying men are trash bothered him so much instead of ramping up the misogyny, I feel like that would be the mature thing to do. We somewhat made up, but he's still mad about what I said, and keeps threatening to keep me out of the apartment we both pay for.
So, am I the asshole for going off on him? Or was I justified in defending myself?
tldr: Boyfriend makes misogynistic comments. I go off on him for the comments and for his character. Did I really take it too far?
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
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|
alhas2
|
{
"description": "suggesting that our group use google translate to make it easier to talk with a foreign exchange student while working on a project",
"pronormative_score": 68,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for suggesting that our group use google translate to make it easier to talk with a foreign exchange student while working on a project?
|
In my General Bio lab, we have a foreign exchange student from South Korea. Our professor had paired us all up and it was me, the foreign exchange student, and two girls. Our assignment was to build all the types of amino acids models with those little balls and rods and explain some stuff about them and we only had the one class to do it. We start talking and discussing what to do, and it becomes clear that the other guy's English isn't good. For efficiency's sake, I pull out my phone and open up Google translate and use it ask the guy if we can use Google translate so we can communicate easier for the time being. He smiles and nods. But in hearing what I asked him, the girls we're paired with start calling me an insensitive asshole and that I'm "excluding him from our culture". I didn't think I did anything wrong, I was just trying to make our group more efficient.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
ao8gnx
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my friend because he cancelled important plans",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my friend because he cancelled important plans?
|
First of all english isn't my first language so sorry in advance for bad grammar.
The story goes like this. One of my best friends and I bought tickets for one of the biggests festivals in our country a month ago. They cost 150€ more or less, it's a five day festival and the place is pretty far from where we live, so for us planning all this was a big deal.
Now fast forward to now, I just discovered that he's been planning behind my back a trip to India with other friends. This wouldn't be a problem at all if it wasn't because he has to cancell our festival plans.
This has really hurt me, not only because he just ditched me for other friends and now I have to resell my ticket, but because he hasn't told me anything and I found this out thanks to other friend.
All my friends say I shouldn't be mad,that i shouldn't take it as something personal, that I should understand that a trip to India is a unique opportunity and that I'm overreacting. I just feel like abandoning a friend after buying and planning everything is a dick move, even if the other plan is the best plan in the world. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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a74b1t
|
{
"description": "expecting my boyfriend to get me a Christmas gift",
"pronormative_score": 31,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for expecting my boyfriend to get me a Christmas gift?
|
My bf and I have been together for 4 years now (this will be our 5th Christmas together) and he never gets me anything for Christmas. I love Christmas and I love buying gifts for people so I always get him a few little things. I could understand if we JUST got together or something, but we've been together for a super long time and he's never really gotten me anything as a gift.
I'm always dropping hints of things he could get me within a reasonable price range, but every year I don't get anything. He has a pretty good job, so it's not like he can't afford to get anything. So finally I asked if he'd like to start getting each other gifts for Christmas and I guess he took it the wrong way and really got on my case and said I was being a brat and I only care about money/presents. I really don't mean to come across that way though.... I've just always thought it was what you were supposed to do on Christmas. I just see everyone else getting stuff from their bf on Christmas and I wonder if I'm doing something wrong.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 20,
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
b3jsz3
|
{
"description": "looking at my partners phone",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For looking at my partners phone?
|
Backstory: about 3 years ago my wife (fiancee at the time) was acting very weird about her phone. She would hide the screen when it would light up, turn it upside down when around me and act very defensive over it. After confronting her about it, she had been snapchatting and texting a co-worker of hers (male) that she had developed feelings for. He had also told her he had developed feelings for her and she had been keeping it from me. We worked through it, she cut off contact with co-worker and we moved on.
​
Fast forward to tonight, we are in the bedroom talking and her phone is lying right next to me on the bed. Her phone lit up and I guess I glanced down and saw it had multiple text messages. In my mind I thought I would see who they were from and let her know she had messages from those people. I didn't touch it or pick it up, but I bent over the phone to see who was texting her.
​
The second she saw me looking at her phone she snapped at me "Are you looking at my phone? Why are you being so nosey? You need to mind your own business" and grabbed the phone. I headed downstairs and she came down soon following and sat down to watch a movie. She could sense something was wrong so she asked and I asked her why she was being so defensive over her phone (she usually isn't like that). She got very agitated and said I was being nosey and whats on her phone is none of my business. This is where I may have overstepped - I mentioned that her being defensive over her phone just reminds me of the past and makes me feel uncomfortable. I said that her reaction didn't make sense to me and I didn't appreciate the way she reacted.
​
She got very upset and said that we had worked through this problem "Years ago" and that it's not fair for me to bring it up. She also said that she is upset now that I would bring something up and that she felt like I was accusing her of cheating (which I was not - in my mind I was expressing why I didn't like her reaction). She offered me her phone to look through (which I declined because I don't need to look through her phone?) and told me the messages were from her mother. AITA for bringing up a (very similar) situation from 3 years ago and applying it to this situation? How could I have reacted better?
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"description": "not wanting my partner to host a friends stag party at our house",
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|
AITA For not wanting my partner to host a friends stag party at our house?
|
My SO's friend is getting married 2 weeks from now. My SO is best man so he's going to have a stag party for Friend this Saturday.
Originally SO was going to take Friend out with a few mates to relive the same stupid things they did as single teenagers (drunk fishing, off-road driving, pub crawl etc). Then Friend told SO he'd rather have a few drinks at Friend's house.
But this morning Friend suddenly told SO he wants to have a bigger stag party at OUR place. This isn't the first time he's demanded we host a party on his terms. We usually host a BBQ every few months, I cook a ton of food, we provide drinks etc. Friend is usually invited but gets really pissy if the dates don't suit him and has previously demanded we change/or host a party every week.
Friend never hosts and I suspect the reason why is because he doesn't want to buy food or clean up after.
Anyway the reasons I don't want the stag party at our house are:
1: I don't want to clean up after. SO is useless at cleaning so getting him to do it won't work.
2: I'm working over 70hrs this week including Saturday. I want to come to my home and sleep, not have to find somewhere else to go because of a party I'm not invited to. Also why I don't want to clean.
I know it's SO's house too, so AITA for wanting him to stick to the original plan of going out for the party?
​
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"description": "letting me S/o pay for our groceries in total",
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|
AITA for letting me S/O pay for our groceries in total?
|
Alright, I got another one that'll make me seem like a gold digging poo but hear me out.
​
My girlfriend of 4 years and I moved in together 9 months ago. Initially, we went grocery shopping together but for my own selfish (personal) reasons (that she understands but it still bothers me that I do this), I started only taking her to the stores, waiting for her in the car. She's been paying for all our groceries constantly, save for anything a little outside our price range, then I'm more than happy to contribute.
This hit me pretty hard our last grocery trip, and I sent her $100 to help cover as she continues to vaguely bring up the fact she shops alone, and before that last trip, she mentioned how she has to pay for all the groceries. I do my best to ask as much as possible if she needs help financially with anything, and I'm more than willing to contribute as much as I can. I have a few more bills than her so I'm not always rolling in money, but I won't hesitate to give her what I can. Often she'll refuse and tell me not to worry about it.
​
I offer to shop for us whenever I'm out, and if she says yes she offers to send me money, which I decline ***obviously,*** but when I *do* shop alone, it has to be very late at night, or sometimes in the middle of the night because I can't handle the crowds. I always end up getting the wrong thing or forgetting something no matter how detailed a list she gives me, which is why I prefer *her* to do the shopping.
​
​
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|
AITA for telling my girlfriend that I probably couldn't live with her if she keeps doing 'nothing'
|
\[M20\] \[F19\]
Ages may or may not be fake.
We live with our parents, but have planned to rent something together.
Hello, i'm a long time lurker, but decided to post with a throwaway anyway.
My girlfriend is in college since 4 months, but she doesn't go.
This has been going on for a month now.
We have been dating for 2+ years now and when we just started dating, she was in college, but she got kicked out after 6 months of dating, because she never showed up.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt, while she sat at home, doing jack shit.
I just graduated so we did see each other often, since I also had trouble finding a job(which got me going back to college, graduating in 4 months).
She sat at home for 1,5 years total(12-2016 / 9-2017) and me pushing her got her going back to school in September 2018.
When she just started, she was motivated. but since about 2 months, the entire thing starts over again. She keeps on missing school with reasons like: 'i'm sick' 'I have a terrible headache', stuff like that.
She hasn't been going to school for one day the entire month of november.
Yesterday, I got in an argument with her, saying she had to go to school or drop out and find a job.
I also said: I probably can't live with someone that does nothing and just lays in bed all day.
She got mad, said she has a depression, which I respect, but it's never been diagnosed because she doesn't look for help or accept help.
Since then, nothing. she's ignoring me.
So, Reddit. AITA for telling my girlfriend that I probably can't live with her if she doesn't do anything?
​
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"description": "shutting down conversation about sex life",
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AITA for shutting down conversation about sex life?
|
My (M29) girlfriend (30) gets back from the pub last night, very happy, and we start chatting. She says that her friends were laughing because one of them had a sex dream about a foursome with us and also what underwear her friend's boyfriend likes her to wear. The conversation tanks when she says that she wouldn't discuss our sex life, to which I responded "What sex life?".
​
SO: Do you think it's because we don't know what each other is in to?
ME: I'm not really into anything in particular, I like what we do.
SO: But I don't think you're into it.
ME: I am, what do you say that?
SO: You never make any noise?
ME: I'm still enjoying it, I'm naturally not noisy. It's normal.
SO: It's not normal.
ME: It's normal whether a guy makes noise or not, I'm not going to fake it.
SO: It just feels one sided.
ME: What do you mean, your side or my side?
SO: Your side, like you're just interested in yourself.
ME: I always make sure you come first, then I finish myself off. How is that one sided?
SO: That's what I mean, it's like your not really into it.
ME: I am, I enjoy doing what you like first, I just can't finish that way. I've always found it difficult to come, I can't change that.
SO: It just feels like you are not interested in having sex.
ME: What do you mean? The other day I joked around and said that we should buy some toys, try something new. Besides, it works both ways, you don't particularly act interested either.
SO: I just can't articulate it.
ME: I'm always horny nowadays, how is it not clear when I'll have a boner and try kissing you?
SO: Just because your horny now doesn't change all those years where you wouldn't have sex with me...... I know you were mentally ill, but....
ME: How is that relevant? I can't go back and change that. If you want to improve things it's best to be positive rather focus on the past.
SO: I can't just be "positive" after all those years getting used to you not wanting to have sex!
ME: What the hell are you talking about, you're being incoherent. Your saying that you resent me for denying you sex for years, when we had plenty of good sex just until a couple of months ago!
SO: I had to switch off my sex drive for you, and you just want me to switch it back on now on your terms.
ME: How is blaming me at all conducive to improving the situation? It's basic psychology, you don't double down on someone if you want to improve your relationship. Your acting like a fucking child. I'm going to bed, please turn off the light.
SO: Silence...
​
She's been telling me how happy she is recently, so a dry spell in the bedroom wasn't worrying me, although I had put out a tentative 'let's try something new' just the other day. Low and behold, drunken sex talk and now she resents me for not giving her enough sex in years gone by, a resentment apparently absent when we went boning around Europe last year.
I know I fucked up with the 'What sex life' comment. But AITA?
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{
"description": "not wanting to call my dads step-mum Grandma",
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AITA for not wanting to call my dads step-mum Grandma?
|
My dads mother died when he was really young but I’ve always felt connected to her (I’m her namesake).
My grandpa has been remarried all of my life to a manipulative and bossy woman who’s just kind of an all round ass. Recently things have escalated in her relationship and my dad and I have worked out that the constant ditching and having to prove my worth to her triggered a lot of my anxiety as a kid and my early teens. So I’ve decided I want to call her Margaret (her name) rather than Grandma cause I don’t think of her in that way anymore and I don’t want to dishonour my proper Gran’s memory in a way.
I tried calling her Margaret when I was like 9 and told her she didn’t have to buy me a birthday present cause ‘she wasn’t proper family’ this ended up with her not talking to my parents for a year because in my head I was saving her money.
I just feel like it’d be disrespectful to her but at the same time I don’t want to be calling her grandma out of force or her to talk shit about me to my brothers (7 and 3) which she’s been known to do. I’m just really confused about this but I don’t want to give her a title when I don’t consider her family.
TLDR: My dads stepmum has been a bitch to me almost my entire life and I don’t want to call her grandma anymore but I’m worried it’ll affect my parents and brothers.
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AITA for not asking more about my friend coming out?
|
Throwaway because I literally feel terrible and actually feel as if I have done wrong.
I have known one of my friends for most of my life. I met him in preschool, when I we were 5, and we are now 23. We went through primary school, high school, and partially university together. He's not my best friend, but he's one of my close friends. A few weeks ago he started acting strange. At first, we asked what was wrong and he said he just felt "off". We weren't really bothered, just concerned for him. We began to hang out with him more just to see if he was okay, but apart from being quiet most of the time, he joined all of our activities. Then, yesterday, we were at his house and he sat us down and told us he was gay. We were surprised, but as it didn't directly affect us, we didn't say much. However, we did congratulate him for doing something that can be really hard. After we all finished, he left to go upstairs. Me and my other friend followed around 5 minutes later. He was crying, and we knocked. He opened the door and let us in, and he had knocked over most of the furniture in the room. This was our first warning flag, so we asked what was wrong. He just lost it, he started wailing, not making any words, and just screaming. I got my friend to tell the others not come up and I slowly calmed him down over about half an hour. Once he was calm, he told me he was angry that we didn't ask more. That's all he said. I asked him what he meant and he stood up and shoved me, saying that I should know what he means.
This is what he said (from what I can remember)
"What the fuck is wrong with all of you? I just told you something that I've been hiding for a while and you just leave it by saying you're happy for me? Don't you, as my friend want to know more? And even prior to today, you never asked if I was gay, I mean you didn't get the vibe? That just shows that you don't ever pay any attention to me." I was shocked and at a loss for words. I ran out of the room and a wave of guilt washed over me. He came downstairs and started telling us what he hates about us until we left. I told my girlfriend what happened and she said we had no reason to ask more, because we accepted him, and I agreed. However, one of my other friends told me that we could of enquired more about it because it was a "traumatic" experience for him.
I cannot stop thinking about it, I have taken a day off work today, and im just really conflicted as to whether we should of taken more action.
So, AITA?
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{
"description": "wanting to go to Europe",
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|
AITA for wanting to go to Europe?
|
My boyfriend and I [F] have been together for about two years. We have a plan go to Europe together for a month when we graduate in the summer of 2020. I think he is planning on proposing then. My best friend [also F] just invited me to meet her in Prague for a conference she is going to this summer (2019), then tour around for a couple of weeks. When I ran it by my boyfriend tonight he was upset that I would be experiencing Europe without him for the first time, because I’ve only ever been to Italy. He has been to Europe before. Argument ensues. Just looking for some gratification that I am right to be angry that he is limiting my life experiences for his own benefit.
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{
"description": "not continuing to hang out with a girl who considered me a close friend because the relationship wasn't physical",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
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|
AITA for not continuing to hang out with a girl who considered me a close friend because the relationship wasn’t physical?
|
First day of college I meet a girl and we talk. She tells me earlier that week she met a guy on tinder and that she loves him. Ok sure, we have a nice conversation and I leave it at that.
See her again a few weeks later, we talk and shoot the breeze for a minute or two then I have to get to class. Cool.
Now I have a rule. If I meet or see a girl I’m interested in on 3 separate occasions then I have to ask for her number, and or, at the very least approach her. So I‘m in the student lounge and I see her sitting down. I approach and ask her how she’s doing, but today she’s not doing well. I ask her “why what’s wrong.” Long story short we ended talking from 2pm until 10pm. We walked around town while she vented, we went to the mall and got food (I paid, which to me either means I’m really nice or probably into you) then we went to a train museum. I wouldn’t call it a date but I would like to.
From this moment on she and I hang out just about everyday for a month. I’m very attracted to her. We lay in bed and watch movies, we hug when we meet and leave. My hand is always pretty low. I help her with her homework, study, and during a serious emergency (she got evicted) I both helped her move her stuff and find a place to stay. While also counseling her. Never complained because hey, shit happens.
Heres where the trouble comes in. I really want a physical relationship with this girl. But she consistently says things like “I’ve never felt this comfortable with a **friend**” or “You’re going to be a really great boyfriend to a girl someday.” I can take a hint.
Meanwhile the entire ~two months or so I’ve known her, the tinder “BF” has never once appeared. Never replies to her text. Ignores all her calls and (after the first week) said they shouldn’t date because his mom was sick or something. She claims he’s just really busy with work and his mom but that they really love each other. Cool.
So, she invites me over for dinner because she wants to repay me for being a good friend and helping her move. Sure. Side note she can’t cook and I ended up making the food but w/e. I notice there’s a hickey on her neck and ask about it. She tells me that she texted tinder boy “Want to have sex?” He finally replies and shows up later that same day. Weird. Thought he was really busy with work. And a sick mom.
After hearing this I make up some sort of excuse for why I have to leave and go to the door. As I’m walking out she tells me to text her when I get to the dorms as I normally do. I take out my phone and delete her number. I still see her in school and she’ll approach me but I always keep the conversations short.
AITA? Obviously you’re not owed sex for being nice, but at the same time if I’m not getting what I want from the relationship why keep it up?
*Tl;dr* Was really nice to a girl I wanted to have sex with. She had sex with a guy she knew for a week who also ignored her the entire time we were friends, so I deleted her number.
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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asvdz8
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"description": "talking to my mom in the same rude tone she talks to me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for talking to my mom in the same rude tone she talks to me?
|
I was asking my mom a simple question and she caught an attitude so i caught one back. she then proceeded to yell at me and say “since she’s my mom she can speak to me however she wants” i’m sorry but just because you’re my mom, i don’t think that gives you a right to speak to me however you want when i’ve done nothing but ask a simple question..
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "telling my father to delete half of his birthday well wishes on my fb-wall",
"pronormative_score": 9,
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}
|
AITA for telling my father to delete half of his birthday well wishes on my FB-wall?
|
Pretty short, but I woke up today (birthday) and saw my dad had written birthday well wishes on my wall, which included: news of my graduation + final grade, new job as a nurse and a ring emoji to signal my "recent engagement" (2-3 months ago) that we havent told everyone about yet, just the nearest family and some friends.
I told him immeadiatly wrote to him: "thank you for the birthday note dad <3 but I'd like to control when to post news about my exam, job and engagement. Would you please delete that part?"
I realize that he is proud of me, but I am afraid that I will get shit later today from my stepmom, that I am way too lazy to write updates about myself so someone will have to. But the thing is, that it is not his story to spread. Its MY graduation and MY engagement. Not his.
He deleted the parts, with no complaining or resistance.
So what do you think? ATIA? If not enough INFO then just ask.
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HISTORICAL
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azomja
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"description": "not getting my sisters bags",
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|
AITA for not getting my sisters bags
|
My sister(17) asked me(14) to grab her schoolbags from the car for her in the middle of the day, which I was fine doing. After I got the bags I spent the rest of my day on my computer and went to bed
At around midnight she woke me up and told me I grabbed the wrong bag and to go get the right one. I told her that one, I am not her slave, and that two if she needs it so much she should get herself and not wake me up. She screamed at me and called me an asshole of a brother, and threw a rubiks cube which I had on my desk at me.
At this point my little brother woke up and started crying because of the commotion that was caused. I told to head back to bed but he screamed louder and woke up my mom. My mom said my sister was being stupid and that she would lose her car and phone for a week because she disrupted everyone.
My sister is now sitting in her room blaming me for what happened and I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong.
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"description": "not texting my mom that we want her to come home",
"pronormative_score": 9,
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|
AITA for not texting my mom that we want her to come home?
|
Here we go.
&#x200B;
First some context: I'm 14. My mom is often gone for long periods of time because she like to chat. seriously. She gets to do whatever she wants, i get that she is the adult. This is the first time she has lashed out like this. At this point I'm not bugged about the fact that she is gone a long time. I've gotten used to it and i'm older.
So my mom gets home from helping a friend lay some wallpaper and chatting. She comes home angry that she came home at 10 PM and says "I can't believe I stayed there until 10. I wish someone could have texted me saying that i needed to come home." She is contradicting herself here. She gets furious when we say that we want her to come home after a while, stating that "She is the adult." Which is true. I point out that she contradicted herself and she claimed that she never does that. She is nearly 40 years old. She then says that she sometimes feels like she isn't wanted, I guess. Again, this is the first time she has done this specifically.
&#x200B;
Obviously we want her around! We make that clear when she is around anyway any normal person would. You're my mom for Christ sake and my best friend. I then say that she is just blaming her frustration (That she's late coming home) on us. She claims she isn't.
&#x200B;
That's pretty much all there is to it, but if needed i'll edit and add more.
&#x200B;
So Reddit, AITA?
&#x200B;
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"description": "revealing my feelings to a coworker even though he has a gf",
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|
AITA for revealing my feelings to a coworker even though he has a gf?
|
I’ve been working at the same job for years, and over the time I’ve been here I’ve become really close friends with a coworker that sits at a desk near mine. Our boss is intolerable and the company isn’t the best, but having him here makes it worth it to keep going. I recently broke off a long engagement to another coworker of ours that works in another part of the building, mostly because it wasn’t making me happy but also because I started to realize my feelings for my other coworker.
A few months ago, he told me that he had feelings for me but I was still engaged. I told him that I couldn’t do it, and didn’t have the confidence to end the engagement. However, we kissed later that night and I knew that I had romantic feelings for him too. I still told him I couldn’t end my engagement, and he soon transferred to another branch in the company.
The past few months have been terrible. It’s like the color in the world has turned to grey without him here. Occasionally I’d have brief contact with him through a work-related phone call to our branch, and it gives me hope that he might come back. And then, it happened. My boss announced that he was transferring back to our branch along with some other employees of the same branch because theirs was shut down due to company funding.
I was ecstatic to have him back, except for the fact that he started dating a coworker from the other branch while he was there. She transferred here with him, and it’s so difficult to see them together knowing that I missed my chance months ago. There’s nothing wrong with her at all, she’s a really nice girl and I don’t have anything against her, but I can’t help but resent her a little bit for dating the guy I’m in love with.
Yesterday, our boss took us out to a local beach for “teamwork exercises” which was silly, but a nice break from being at the building all day. In the evening, our boss started a bonfire and had more activities, like a coal-walk.
Later that night, I built up the confidence after doing the coal-walk. It gave me a sort of high, a confidence where I felt unstoppable and I couldn’t hold my feelings and thoughts anymore. I went to the bonfire where everyone was sitting, and I told them that I needed to say some things....most notably, that I ended by engagement because of my feelings for my coworker and how I missed him when he was gone and how I wished things could be the way they were before he left. He sat there, shocked, next to his girlfriend. I feel really bad for saying that especially in front of her, but after being quiet for years about my feelings I couldn’t hold them in anymore. Am I the asshole for basically admitting my feelings for my coworker in front of him and his girlfriend?
TLDR; Had feelings for a coworker while I was engaged, then he left and I ended my engagement, and when he came back I announced my feelings for him in front of all of our coworkers including his new girlfriend. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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waeULrKZfvEeWLnqe46AzE0p9FnvdoZ8
|
azni83
|
{
"description": "beating my boyfriends friend",
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|
AITA for beating my boyfriends friend?
|
A few months ago I met one of my boyfriends friends at the gym we frequent (boyfriend, friend and I all go to the same gym). It was night (24h gym), so nobody else was around. We were training normally, but started talking a bit during the breaks. At some point we started talking about martial arts. He had been doing boxing for about five months and recently started mma, my bf used to do some karate a few years ago, but they do some casual training together at the gym now). The friend started constantly bragging about how strong he was and how he always wins against my bf. He also asked me to feel up his muscles... (I didn't).
Now, I guess I am a bit protective of my bf and I felt like he was constantly trying to impress me, which I found suspicious, so I asked him to show me how good he was and we went into the ring. What he didn't know is that I've been doing MMA for the past 9 years... He tried to go easy on me first, but obviously that didn't work out well. After his arrogant behaviour, I really started to enjoy hitting him and because he didn't give up or go down, we went on for a while. Let's just say he didn't look too nice after. I was a bit afraid to tell my bf that I had beat up his friend, but he didn't mind (looked more amused/happy tbh). Not sure if I should tell him about the bragging/feeling thing though. AITA for enjoying beating him up?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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hYHGX0jOqYSHaomv8XhPB9e4jI5cdNjc
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b0fnhi
| null |
AITA — My wife and I are moving across the country to be closer to our families. Initially the plan was to fly two of our family members up so we would have 4 people to assist with the move. I would drive my car, she would drive hers, and the 2 other people would drive the moving truck...
|
The price of the flights got a little too pricey so I suggested we just rent a tow trailer to put one of our cars on it. This option would end up being cheaper and more convenient to our family members, as they wouldn’t have to take time off work, fly in, drive 12 hours back, etc. My wife had initially expressed her concerns about me driving the moving truck with the car attached because I have little to no experience with towing a car. I told her people do it all the time and not to worry and that I could handle it. She eventually agreed and I booked the rental tow-behind. Our move is in two days and now my wife is freaking out, saying I never take her feelings into consideration and that she’s not comfortable with me driving 12 hours with a car being towed behind and it’s causing a lot of unnecessary stress. In my mind, people drive across country all the time with these moving trucks and have their cars towed behind no problem. I even offered to pay to fly one of her parents up as a compromise so she wouldn’t have to drive 12 hours by herself, but she declined, saying it’s not about having someone with her it’s about me driving the truck she’s worried about. She says I don’t compromise and I don’t take her feelings into consideration. But in reality, I’m saving us time, money, and she doesn’t even have to worry about driving the truck as that would be my responsibility, and even though she was uncomfortable with it, she still agreed. My wife suffers from anxiety and it gets worse during big life changes. I tried to explain to her that her worrying is just her anxiety causing stress and that I am comfortable driving the truck and have no issues with it. She says it’s not about the truck but really about me taking her feelings into consideration when making decisions. But if I’m comfortable driving the truck and she doesn’t even have to drive it, shouldn’t I be the one who decides if I can handle it or not? In my mind her concerns are irrational and I shouldn’t have to just comply with her concerns if I don’t agree with them, right? Where is the line drawn? I want to listen and take her concerns into consideration but when they are something that truly isn’t something that needs to be worried about how can I explain that to her without sounding like an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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9VN2nBIiASV6O6qUrtKKlZvcYMvap1Ge
|
b2nniq
|
{
"description": "finding out my so was cheating by looking on their computer",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for finding out my SO was cheating by looking on their computer?
|
I was sensing something was off for weeks. I asked him what was wrong multiple times, asked if we were okay and if he was interested in other girls. I had a feeling but no proof at this point. He would get defensive and make me feel dumb for assuming he wasn't happy with me.
&#x200B;
We share a laptop at the moment. I use it for school because I needed a Mac for my program, but it is his laptop. He encouraged me to use it because this was his extra Mac that he doesn't use that often.
&#x200B;
Well, eventually I logged into his profile on the laptop (he gave me his password weeks before) and I saw that he was messaging other girls, talking with his ex, and getting on fetish type dating sites trying to hookup with other women.
&#x200B;
At this point I was still a big part of his life. We had been dating on and off for the past 5 years. I spent Christmas with his family, went to family events and vacations, and we live together (he had been asking me to move in for months). He was cheating the whole time. Looking back, I should have seen red flags but I brushed off the warning signs.
&#x200B;
After I found out about the cheating, he blew up on me. He couldn't believe I would invade his privacy like that. I felt guilty and betrayed at the same time. He said he wasn't sorry for any of it and he threatened to take the Mac away.
&#x200B;
We broke up, he gave different excuses to his family and friends as to why. We still live together but I am moving out in a few weeks.
&#x200B;
AITA for invading his privacy by looking at his computer?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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1lR64bKgmHhAHzOW2XeIYxqXSTCfyJZB
|
9torcl
|
{
"description": "breaking things off with a friend",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for breaking things off with a friend?
|
Apologies for length and teenage drama.
&#x200B;
When I was in high school, I became close friends with a girl (I am female as well), we’ll call her Jane. She was an eighth grader/freshman and I was a junior/senior. We met through being in the same instrument section in our high school band (which eighth graders were part of), so we saw each other in that class every day. While we were in school together, our friendship was great. Eventually Jane confided in me about her relationship with a boy we’ll call Richard. He was in the grade below mine and on the surface things seemed great between them. However, she confessed that he was actually a huge jerk and she wasn’t happy, and that she didn’t know if her feelings of discomfort were warranted. Naturally, as her friend, I was very concerned and tried to advise her to the best of my ability. I told her to dump him and that her feelings of discomfort were not an overreaction because, from what she told me, things between them seemed very toxic. Jane also had a lot of other issues as well (stemming from past events and depression), and as a result wasn’t the most apt at recognizing when a situation wasn’t ideal.
&#x200B;
So Jane broke up with Richard, and seemed somewhat happier as a result. Jane began coming to me more for advice/comfort. However, not long after she broke up with him, Jane told me that she’d gotten back together with Richard. I didn’t think that was a good idea, but I wasn’t her mother; it was her life. Eventually, they broke up again. Jane did not go full no-contact with Richard. They kept talking, even when broken up. Rinse, repeat.
&#x200B;
I graduated high school and moved 3 hours away from my hometown for college. Combine the distance with the workload and it wasn’t exactly feasible for me to go home every weekend or spare much energy on faraway events outside of school. Jane and I messaged each other often over Snapchat. I worried a lot about Jane. She and Richard were very bad for each other. He had even leaked her nudes at one point (which I found out from a friend, not her). Eventually I got fed up, and, while I didn’t want to \*not\* be friends with Jane, I was also at my wits’ end because my sympathy was running out. I’d told her time and again that Richard was bad news and yet she always ended up going back to him. I didn’t want to deal with that drama anymore. When a mutual friend of ours told me that they had gotten back together (she had stopped complaining so much about Richard to me) I decided to be less communicative; I didn’t message her quite as often anymore.
&#x200B;
In hindsight, I'm wondering if I was too concerned about her, too into her business. I wasn't her mother.
&#x200B;
A week or two later, a different mutual friend (let’s call him Ben) messaged me. He was very upset. Apparently Jane blamed him for how distant I was being. (A pertinent piece of information: Ben was my ex-boyfriend, and still in high school.) So I messaged Jane, intending to sort things out once and for all. I laid out why I wasn't messaging her quite so frequently anymore: I felt rather used, fed up, and a little hurt because Jane kept coming to me for advice and I was doing everything I could for her, but she was consistently blowing it off. Thus, I didn’t want to deal so much with her anymore. I stated this in a civil manner; I did not make any negative insinuations about her character. Jane, however, thought that I was angry and jealous because apparently Ben had feelings for her, and I had somehow found out about it, despite having not talked to Ben for over a month prior. She refused to believe me and said some very mean things, deliberately meant to wound. This completely threw me for a loop. She had never before struck me as the kind of person to say such unkind things until that moment. My perception of her changed rather drastically.
&#x200B;
This happened on Christmas Eve. I was twisted up in knots. On New Years’, she apologized. I accepted. I was eager to be friends again because I missed her, and thus did not address the mean things she said. However, after what she said, things weren’t really the same between us. Time passed. I found myself drifting away from her again, and then she blocked me on all social media. I felt guilty, so I apologized to her for being distant. I was trying to save a friendship that had died months prior, on Christmas Eve. Eventually we saw each other again at a band concert I came to, and she messaged me apologizing, and at that point I was just tired. I told her that I just didn’t want to be friends anymore. The matter was finally put to rest. This was eight months ago, in March.
&#x200B;
However, I have a nagging guilt over the whole situation. This girl had no other confidantes besides me. She couldn’t talk to her mother, her father had passed away, she was pretty depressed and had a number of traumatic things happen to her in the past. She didn’t have many people that she considered close friends. She poured her heart out to me, and I abandoned her. What kind of a friend does that? So, Reddit, what do you think? Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
51oVy8YKnc4UBm63aWE7SHpyvUci3z4D
|
azei74
|
{
"description": "not wanting my friend to bring someone that no one knows with him while we go out",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not wanting my friend to bring someone that no one knows with him while we go out?
|
So me and some friends are going out today. I'll give some fake names first
Euan Kaelan Darragh Finn Noah (me) Josh Tom Micheál (If people think these names are weird I'm from Ireland)
So six of us were going out today. Yesterday Finn randomly says that he wants to bring his friend micheál. Literally none of us know him except for finn so we say no.
Finn responds: "well no one really knows Tom or Noah, how is this different?"
I have known Euan for 13 years, Josh for 8, Tom for 2, kaelan, Finn and Darragh for 1
(I'm 13 so this is ages)
This is my first time even hearing about Micheál and he seems like a dickhead from what I've spoke to him
Is it wrong for us to not want him to come?
Feel free to ask any related questions
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
bZHtUosTMql4098lt0VYAyQss8AEJUMO
|
b14yae
|
{
"description": "selling concert tickets that I promised a friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
WIBTA for selling concert tickets that I promised a friend?
|
Recently, a relatively large band that both me and my friend (let’s say Josh) really like has a series of very small shows running nearby to us.We agreed in advance that if I were to get tickets on our we would go together.
Instead of paying me for his ticket, Josh and I agreed that we would write off £30 that I owed him (which was approximately the price of the ticket I’d be buying) and we’d call it even. The day of the ticket sale came and I was fortunate enough to get two for the price of £70, approximately £35 each. We were both obviously very happy.
A couple of hours later I checked the prices of the tickets and was shocked to see prices as high as £350 selling on resale websites. Obviously, this is a lot of money and has made me consider either selling one or both tickets.
Considering my friend had not actually purchased the ticket if I were to sell both tickets and pay him the £30 that I owe him would that make the the asshole?
Or alternatively AITA if I just sell his ticket and keep my own?
In whatever circumstance, I would pay him the money I owe him initially however am I the asshole if I do not pay him the full value of his ticket after being sold, which is likely to be around £300 and just the money that he is actually owed?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
N6oTJxKJOZOy17lJ2SeQ5gAYWga3hkQ8
|
ank4lm
|
{
"description": "getting angry about my girlfriend getting a ticket from a friend to see an artist both of us enjoy without me",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for getting angry about my girlfriend getting a ticket from a friend to see an artist both of us enjoy without me?
|
So my girlfriend and I both really like this one singer that’s playing in our city this week. Both of us are big music lovers. None of us got tickets when they went on sale, which was a bummer but nothing special.
Fast-forward to now, and a friend of hers messages her saying he’s got one spare ticket for the concert because his friend dropped out last second. My girlfriend is really keen to take the offer but I got hurt over the fact that she knew I really liked the artist and she would go without me. I told her that if it were me I would say no because I would know that she would be sad. She said that it was unfair for her to not be able to do something just because she is in a relationship. I would never stop her from going anywhere, but I just want to know if I’m being irrational.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
SESQ1YBWTm6WYvFTAq69Wknt2U9xRcCs
|
afaq2s
|
{
"description": "not believing my friends friend died",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not believing my friends friend died
|
Context: my friend/ex (were still friends after the break up) was being very mean and spreading rumors about me because I didn’t want to buy her a purse, in turn I asked a couple of my friends to help me make a diss on her (very childish of me and I messed up). Anyway she found out and got super pissed, she blocked me everywhere and her friends/ my friends (we share a few friends) started to hate on me and they also stopped talking to me. Then a headline popped up that 5 kids and a few adults died on a trip to Disneyland, since I was close to there atm I felt really bad and made a post about how I sad it was. (Sincerely felt bad for those poor kids). She then commented on my post saying “those were my friends” and when I questioned her asking “really? Are you ok? How do you know them?” She responded with “I just knew them really well, stop questioning me asshole” she then proceeded to flag my post and eventually took it down. She told all my friends I was a monster and didn’t believe her, (which I did at the time). Finally I learned she didn’t know then at all, her friend (gonna call her friend jake) jake told me she never knew any of them. So now I reached the conclusion that she made it all up, and it was extremely perfect timing too.
TL;DR friend/ ex got mad, I was making a diss, she found out. Said her “friends” died and blamed me for being a monster and evil.
|
HISTORICAL
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EVERYBODY
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WRONG
|
lj7nBIXqtMWLx2E89f5oAC0oeVUcPlSx
|
b2iwki
|
{
"description": "not trusting my brother who is recovering from an addiction",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for not trusting my brother who is recovering from an addiction?
|
Some backstory:
My brother came to live with me when he was 16 because he dropped out and left home. While with me he got his GED and babysat for me while me and my husband worked in exchange for room and board. This lasted until he started seeing this woman that he worked with and she introduced him an IV substance. Brother started stealing from me and when I began finding his paraphernalia laying around I told him its her and the drugs, or your family and a place to live. I even offered to drive him to and from NA or rehab or whatever he wanted to do. He left the next day, with our rent money. Started sneaking into our shed and stealing things at night. I have even found him camping on our property. I told him to go away and not come back until he was clean since he wouldn't get help. Fast forward a year or so, I take him and this woman in because they are going to meetings and seem to be on the right track. Until one day I get text from brother about his girlfriends teddy bear. How she left it behind and not to let anything happen to it because it was a gift yadda yadda... Well teddy had a busted seam in the back and their paraphernalia was stuffed inside. I ditched teddy in a dumpster and reamed him for putting me at risk by having it in my vehicle while I was driving. They stay another 2 weeks until they can find a place but the night after they left (I work nights) they busted into my house and cleaned me out. Ps4, xbox1, a laptop, the list goes on. He even stole the battery from my emergency vehicle. I don't have proof but I know it was him. Whenever we would hang out cell phones would go missing etc. It sucked. So I cut him out completely. Fast forward to now. He moved out of town with family after being incarcerated for 6 months, is working a job, seems clean, girlfriend is in rehab. He seems to be getting it together and has been reaching out (for favors). I haven't responded and I don't want to. I'm not ready. I haven't forgiven him yet and he hasn't even apologised. WIBTA for telling him to stop contacting me? Telling him that I'm not healed from what he did yet even though he seems to making a decent recovery?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
MGUZy72Hy7hlmoGjHXNXmB67dtlF3vdJ
|
anyyu6
|
{
"description": "not using the concert tickets my parents got me for my birthday even if I'm willing to give them back the money they spent",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not using the concert tickets my parents got me for my birthday even if I’m willing to give them back the money they spent?
|
Okay there are multiple aspects I need to unpack here. Firstly, I got the tickets three months ago for my birthday and I’m pretty sure they were resale (extra pricey). I obviously thanked my parents and made plans with a friend to go together. Cut to a day before the concert and I remind said friend about our plans but she tells me she’s busy and to find someone else. The fact she blew me off so easily hurt so bad. I know this will sound like an overreaction but keep in mind my mental health is currently in the toilet (anxiety disorder + anorexic + incorrect meds). I just sat there and cried. I felt so numb I couldn’t eat. My parents found out and they could tell I was in a lot of pain but they tried to stay upbeat about it. I felt like such a failure, am I so shitty that a friend would just forget about our plans and not give a shit? Also the plans she said she had got cancelled the morning of the concert and she STILL said nothing about going with me instead. Anyways, I felt like utter garbage and tried sleeping it off but of course I awoke to feeling like I was about to vomit. Somehow I kept the bile down and went to school. I didn’t eat the whole day and by the time I had to go to the concert I just could not do it. My mom was going to take me but the thought of me not having enough friends to ask made me feel borderline depressive. I couldn’t do it so I told my mom and dad I couldn’t handle it. My mom was fine but my dad… well he screamed at me, called me ungrateful, all of the good stuff. He was yelling about how expensive the tickets were so I explicitly said I would pay them back but he just laughed and was like “that’s not what this is about”. He also yelled at me about again tonight. So that’s what brings me to this subreddit. Again, I understand my parents frustration but if I give them the money back is there really still an issue? Am I being ungrateful and weak? How do I fix this?
|
HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
6VhmZbp6n3dwqub6OfVBADqahP6h8bm1
|
b81w4s
|
{
"description": "deleting my moms facebook posts",
"pronormative_score": 338,
"contranormative_score": 93
}
|
AITA for deleting my moms Facebook posts?
|
Okay so to start this off, I’m currently in recovery from multiple mental illnesses including anorexia.
So when I was first diagnosed I was pretty much immediately sent to a residential hospital for a few months and I EXPLICITLY told my mom that I didn’t want her telling people besides close family friends and relatives, and she agreed. Fast forward to a couple months out of the hospital and I’m scrolling through my moms Facebook trying to find a specific family photo I was looking for when I see multiple posts along the lines of:
Today we had to check our beautiful daughter into Veritas for treatment of her ED. Please send prayers. (not those exact words but similar)
This especially pissed me off because I’m not a religious person at all. Also, keep in mind that my mom is a complete social butterfly with over 500 Facebook friends, most of whom I’ve never met. All I could think about was random people I’ve never met immediately defining me as my mental illness and feeling pity, and the one thing I can’t stand is people pitying me.
My mom uses the same password for everything so I knew her Facebook login and immediately deleted the posts. She still hasn’t noticed.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
xPBJTjNmFjQLB2H14FWjukUVBCsevEKv
|
ayugjt
|
{
"description": "getting pissed at my friend for not inviting me to a party",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for getting pissed at my friend for not inviting me to a party?
|
First of all, a bunch of context.
Jeff is a good guy mostly, we have been friends for 17 years and a good chunk of that I'd say even best friends. This past month we also became roommates for the first time ever.
Last year I was incredibly depressed and I've finally got my shit sort of together both mentally and physically, and I've been proactively trying to be more social, but as a almost 30 year old man it's hard to make new friends.
We're both pretty charismatic guys, and we stumbled upon some random girls' birthday party a few weeks ago, and we were a hit at the party. Both of us got numbers, etc. I also went to another girls birthday with one of our other roommates a couple weeks ago and it was a great time. So I've been semi-joking for three weeks now about how women's birthdays are literally the best possible event a guy in his late twenties.
Anyway, so last night, he told me he was going to this woman's birthday party, but that he didn't want me to come. The birthday was for a woman that he was kind of interested in, and that's kind of why. For additional context, he's not exclusively interested in her, and is in an open relationship with another girl, and has been going on lots of dates recently. Jeff is a good looking guy, but he's not been taking super good care of himself and was looking a little ragged, and this week I got a nice haircut and shave, and I'm also decent looking. I'm fairly certain he didn't explicitly told me he didn't want to come simply because he didn't want any competition.
Anyway he got back home later, told me it was awesome, and that he should have invited me because he ended up being the weird kind of alone guy at the party and so he left early.
But anyway, I'm fuckin' pissed at him. I haven't really spoken to him much since. I've been trying to go out and do shit with him for weeks now. I buy him drinks a lot when we're out (because he's fucking broke). But yeah, 17 years of friendship. He's always been a shitty wingman, but holy shit, after 3 weeks of me saying we should go to more women's birthdays and he doesn't invite me to one because he thinks I'm gonna try to steal "his girl".
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
Q6gs6utJfJPlhFcSXp3f6tGQltv4ZlIY
|
9yxe17
|
{
"description": "siding with my wife over my mom",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For siding with my wife over my mom
|
Before I even begin to explain the situation, I am an Indian and Indian parents are a bit involved in their kids lives. Also, coming from India, there is this "notion" of traditions. Something I am vehemently against when certain traditions are biased and rooted in archaic principles.
Coming to the story, me and my wife are visiting India after a year and a half. Last time we were in India was for our wedding, so it's a bit of a big deal heading back the first time. Me and my wife decided to spend majority of the 26 days of our vacation at our respective parent's place. We decided that I would stay for 5 days at her parent's place and she would spend 4 days at time. The unequal days because she spent more time at my parent's place after our wedding
When I proposed this plan to my mother she didn't take it well at all. We switched the plan to make it equal days and my mom was still not fine with it.
My mom is pretty progressive and this just took me by surprise. She strongly believes that in India culture a girl should spend more time with her in laws and understand their culture. This did not go well with me and things got heated up between us. I ended up saying somethings (that I regret now) but my mom interpreted them in a completely different manner. Certain things in the argument made her think I am comparing her with my wife and that I feel my wife is a lot better person than her.
Things are pretty bad at the moment and even after I have apologized to my mom, she doesn't accept the apology. She made notes on whatever I said and messaged her and she keeps reading them and wonders how I could say those things. For the past two days I have been on calls with her where she just kept shouting at me and I stayed quiet to let her vent out everything. Even after those calls, I apologized to her for what I said in the past, but doesn't look like she is done yet.
I have intentionally not involved my wife in the argument and not told her the things my mom said. My mom has the habit of digging up things from the past and she commented a lot on my wife's parents and how they didn't meet her expectations at our wedding in terms of how my parents and family were treated (which isn't accurate and a lot of her perception is based on certain miscommunications during an inter cultural wedding).
I am at a loss of words now. Her behavior has started affecting me. I dread the evenings when I might need to talk to her again and keep shivering and feeling nauseous at work inside, while trying to act normal with my colleagues.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
Iw4VyI87hKWu5FwMXMbaNgBx2hHfuAgS
|
a0kten
|
{
"description": "drumming in my apartment",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for drumming in my apartment?
|
Ok so first off before anyone accuses me of being an asshole just from the title, it's an electronic drumset, not an acoustic one. I won't get an acoustic drumset until I have my own house. The electronic drumset still makes noise and transfers vibrations through the floor, though.
I live in a second floor apartment, and like to play the drums as a hobby. I never play during unreasonable hours, like after sunset or before noon. One time my downstairs neighbor came knocking on my door, complaining that it sounded really loud, like someone was just straight up banging on the floor. I told him I was sorry about the noise, but drumming is just a hobby that I like to do for fun. I decided after that confrontation that I was done for the day, anyway.
A week later, more or less, I decide to blow off some steam and hit the drums again, trying to not be quite as loud. It just doesn't feel the same when I try to be super quiet so I gradually get louder while still being conscious of my loudness and not letting myself get too crazy. I get a call from the leasing office. Someone called to complain. I have a hunch it's the same guy from downstairs. I go for a little longer, trying to be quieter, but eventually get frustrated that it doesn't feel the same so I quit for the day.
I feel like my neighbor(s?) are being unreasonable. Like I said, I laid my own ground rules, never playing before noon or after sunset. We don't live in houses. You have to deal with loud neighbors sometimes. It just comes with living in an apartment. I only play drums within what I consider to be reasonable hours and usually don't go over 30 to 45 minutes at a time. I pay rent to live here; I should be able to do what I want in my own apartment.
So reddit, AITA? Am I being entitled or reasonable?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
rV8iMytplPzPPPlQn0XWr0P3zydmCm4C
|
b7jqwi
|
{
"description": "not wanting to visit my brother",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to visit my brother?
|
I went away to college for three years. I am the youngest of my siblings and none of them went away to school. My school was only 3 hours away, a pretty far drive but doable (I think). My siblings only visited me probably three times in three years. They came only on Family Day every year because there was “things to do” in town (it’s a small town).
My brother’s girlfriend went to the same school as me. So he visited her quite often. Half the time he wouldn’t come to see me even though he was a five minute drive from me/have time to see me. The other half the time he wouldn’t even tell me he was in town. I would only find out from my parents asking me if I’d seen him. I frequently got rides with my brothers girlfriend home, and paid her to do so. She didn’t tell me when she was going home for his 21st and when I asked to ride down with her she told me she was already home. Making me miss my brothers 21st birthday. My fault should have asked he Wednesday, not Thursday for a ride home Friday.
I told my mom once I wanted my siblings to come up and she told me that it was unfair of me to ask them to put all those miles on their cars and take off work.
During third year at school, I lost four friends and none of my siblings came to see me. They called me once (or twice) and that’s was pretty much it. Which really hurt since they knew I was struggling with it and had a lot to deal with.
After another death, I moved back home to heal. However, by this time my brother had moved out state about 7 hours away. My sisters and parents have been giving me a lot of shit for not going to see him yet, since he has bought a house now.
I don’t feel like I should have to go visit, but my family thinks it’s important and that I’m hurting his feelings by not going. I have a low paying job, student loans to be paying off and a dog. I can’t afford to take off work very often and when I do, it’s for the trillion other family events. I don’t feel obligated to go, especially if he didn’t feel obligated to see me. I just am tired of being made out to be the asshole, when I feel like it’s not me. Am I crazy?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
dCNDpotYe5V8SF0Cejh2a1u8t3YqyOtO
|
a6glum
|
{
"description": "not wanting to work this week",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to work this week?
|
Hey guys, first time poster but quite a lurker around here.
Context I'm (25f) having a work relationship with my mom (46) and because of economic reasons we decided it was better to move in together. There's no contract or legal obligations.
We work in accounting and due dates are CRUCIAL, specially the 17th (in 2 days) because tax reports need to be given in my country. Now, casually this week I'm on University finals and I can't stop working on my things because my due dates are all today (dec 15). I also have a panic condition and have been recently medicated.
A month ago I asked my mom and she said it was fine for me to take my time while I need to do so. I said ok and that I would help as soon as I was done with it. Fair deal, right?
However, it wasn't. These last 3 days that I've been taking my medication she's been yelling at me saying I'm lazy and that this are the dates she needs me the most, which I understand, but I also have pending work from school. I asked her for time and patience but she's literally not talking to me and acting like if I let her down entirely when I'm simply a. trying to get better and b. trying to finish with school papers.
&#x200B;
And I'm tired of that yelling and screaming at me. I usually put my head down and nod but this time I am reacting because it's not fair for me to live like this, specially when things were being said beforehand.
&#x200B;
So now people of reddit: AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
T31Cr4H7LF3yZM1by5Z0wPPJosu2mYYf
|
b0r714
|
{
"description": "blushing to another guy while I have a boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for blushing to another guy while I have a boyfriend?
|
I am together with my boyfriend for quite a few years.
Never have I cheated or being not loyal to him, and I never will.
I recently hit the gym. Today something weird happened. I got into a conversation with this dude who looked really handsome, he wanted to grab dumbbells and I wanted the same so he said no you can take it.
The dude was really ridiciliously attractive. He said he saw me working out and was impressed. I felt flattered and blushed a bit. My eyes lingered on his body for a second. Immediately I felt horrendous. Why did I enjoy this guys attention since I have a boyfriend at home? He asked my number and I denied of course, no need to get close.
I just cut off conversation and moved on, but now I feel super guilty. It feels unfair to my boyfriend and now I dont know what to do. I dont want to enjoy another guys attention but I did enjoy it and blushed?? I never blush. I feel like a bad person?
Am I the Asshole? What could I do different?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
FB7kN1F7zYeGymcDCl41HNZxNeAuKRwJ
|
9wi1vx
|
{
"description": "hooking up with a girl on MDMA",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for hooking up with a girl on MDMA?
|
So I was at a house party the other night, this girl I had met a few times before wouldn't leave me alone wanting to dance with me and stroking my hair a lot, I wasn't really into her that much but at the end of the night I decided to pick the easy fruit and hooked up with her, pretty standard cringey one night stand stuff after that, wasnt very good, left before she woke up, but it all seemed pretty safe and consensual.
Fast forward to today and I find out she's telling people I took advantage of her when she was off her face on MDMA, a few of my friends even side with her and it looks even worse because I don't drink or do drugs so it could easily look like I deliberately targeted her. I don't think I did anything wrong because she came onto me and I didn't know she was on anything and the sex, while bad she still said yes and was conscious and all that so I really don't understand what shes on about but ive been terrified shes going to escalate to saying it was rape or something and im freaking out
So reddit, am I the arsehole/rapist? (Posting from throwaway because obvious reasons)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
6DRFh4vx9fddv93vNkP7VHS8K8Q8FH3C
|
a3q3r1
|
{
"description": "being angry with my fiancé for wanting a paternity test for our yet to be born son",
"pronormative_score": 165,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for being angry with my fiancé for wanting a paternity test for our yet to be born son?
|
I’m 4 months pregnant and my fiancé said he wanted to have a serious talk with me yesterday morning. He said that he was going to ask for a paternity test when the baby is born. This made me angry and feel like he didn’t trust me. He said in response that lots of men trusted their significant others and ended up raising children that weren’t theirs with someone who cheated.
I said that he has no reason to suspect me of cheating and he said neither did those other men. We argued for a while and I left to go to my parents house to cool down.
I ended up talking to my brothers about it and they both said basically the same thing. That I know 100% the baby is mine since it’s coming out of my body, but he doesn’t. My older brother said that I’m asking for a level of trust from him that I’ll never be in a position to give back.
Am I the asshole for expecting him to trust me? Is it reasonable for him to want this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
5H6lsa90m9dvCB54aSygiVhNH47xmwMD
|
9td10l
|
{
"description": "taking back what's mine",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For taking back what's mine?
|
(On mobile; formatting etc. etc.)
I'm in gym class in school and we just completed our mile run. We need to mark down our times with pencils that are in a limited quantity. A classmate just finished marking down their time and they hold the pencil out for grabs. I take it and shortly after, a girl walks up to me and slaps it out of my hand while saying numerous profanities. I, irritated by the disrespect, take it back out of her hands and as a result she cries.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
qvp4uGwZbpvzFIjM8UfdDTtN66CFlonY
|
asz44j
|
{
"description": "demanding that my husband showers before getting into bed",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for demanding that my husband showers before getting into bed.
|
He went to the gym this evening and his sweat has dried. Should he shower before getting in bed with his wife or wait until the morning like he prefers?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
sI5WoYW0MXMuPMb6VWT6S2cwL0YACEfI
|
au6goh
|
{
"description": "not wanting to visit my parents",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to visit my parents?
|
Typing on mobile so apologies in advance.
About 2 years ago, I moved from BE to the UK to come live with my boyfriend (now fiance) that I met online. He and I had long discussions about who would make the move, and as he doesn't speak my maternal language and wants to stay close to his small family, we decided that I would move. I speak English on a near-native level anyway and I have a degree and experience in an international field so making the move wasn't hard. I applied for and found a job overseas, planned my move, packed my stuff, and left.
However, my parents and brothers were and are dear to me. Realising that, my fiance said we'd visit frequently. Our first visit about 5 months after my move was... a disaster. I had lost my job, it was winter so the weather was bad, ... In the end, due to a number of reasons, we didn't visit for over a year.
This year, we'd planned to go back for a visit in spring. But due to me and my fiance taking up a new hobby, and both of us agreeing we want to get married this year, my finances are nowhere near sound enough to both fund a visit and a wedding, even a small quiet affair like we'd have. Trouble is, my parents and brothers miss me and talk a lot about how much they miss me and how much they're looking forward to our next visit, and I miss them something fierce as well, but I'd choose getting married to a wonderful man over going over for a 4-day visit. Does that make me an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
|
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RIGHT
|
JeCQzTqGUid8F1ECgyGOPxekyDg7tVCI
|
a6j9zz
|
{
"description": "being angry about my ex becoming rich",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA when I am angry about my ex becoming rich
|
The first thing: I don't speak english very well, so sorry about any mistakes.
I was with my ex for three years, and honestly cared for him. We didn't live together, but spent a lot of time with each other. I dumped him a year ago, cause he was full of BS - he didn't want to work, and lacked ambition. All the time he was talking and annoying me with some business project he does, and told me he is actually unable to move forward without finishing it, since he planned to be rich. I got pretty sick of the bs.
Breakup went well, he even told me he gets my feelings, and wanted to stay friends. I said sure, why not - we live in quite small town and will run to each other quite often. Soon after, I've found someone else to date (we broke up already).
Half year after breakup, I've his project was finished - he managed to buy some expensive stuff - house, few fancy cars, speedboat, jewelry, whatever.
He called me and told me that I helped him a lot before, and If I need something, I can call him.
We went for dinner, while I had no any interest to be together again - and I told him on the spot - he responded he neither.
After that dinner, he and my female friend started to date - he buys her fancy clothes, takes her to vacations, pays for her manicures, sauna, pretty much everything he promised me for years - I think he does it on purpose to make me mad and jealous.
I know that I broke up with him, but still I feel like it's not fair when she gets lifestyle which supposed to be mine.
I was the one who stayed with him while no other woman would.
I know it's his money, and I don't feel entitled to it, yet, AITA for being mad at him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
bOxWDYzWhgmo2ZnLQGMXrvyzUDem8aPi
|
a0x9s7
|
{
"description": "being pissed at my friend for bailing",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being pissed at my friend for bailing
|
So my friend and I go to the movies together. Earlier this year we saw trailers for Bohemian Rhapsody and said we were going to see it opening night.
About a month before it came out, I found out I had a meeting that day and wouldn't be able to make it. I let him know as soon as possible.
We rescheduled to see it on a cheap night later on.
That night I call him to see how far away he was, and he lets me know that he's gonna be late because he had to take his girlfriend home. He then tells me that he's just going to bring her along. I'm fine with that.
I go to buy 3 tickets and find it is sold out because we waited too long. I'm irritated and we end up not able to see it.
We then reschedule to see it tonight I buy 3 tickets over the weekend expecting him to bring his girlfriend. And I get a call from him today saying he has to bail because he found out yesterday that his girlfriend wants him to help her study.
He says I would do the same in his situation and I tell him bluntly that I wouldn't. That I understand his girlfriend may like his help, but that he isn't required and that if I make plans with someone that I like to see them through.
Am I the Asshole for being pissed at him for bailing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
VpF2geYL2hhqkEsps6efC9EfXchE1URF
|
aubn2k
|
{
"description": "walking away from a friendship because I could no longer support my friend with her emotionally and physically abusive boyfriend/baby daddy",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for walking away from a friendship because I could no longer support my friend with her emotionally and physically abusive boyfriend/baby daddy?
|
My friend started dating a guy who was very controlling and selfish and then found out she was pregnant by him. During her whole pregnancy, he forced her to hide it because he still hadn’t completed his divorce yet from his wife whom he had been separated from before they met. It wasn’t until about 8 months when she was allowed to openly discuss her pregnancy publicly.
After the baby was born they disagreed on a lot and he controlled everything. She wanted to breastfeed and when the baby would cry at night, he would blame her saying if she formula fed the baby would sleep better. He would punish her for going against his ideas by not helping her when she tried her ideas. He refused to ever get up in the night with the baby at all even after she confessed she was developing PPD from sleep deprivation.
Right before the baby turned one, he reached out to one of his exes via social media and cheated on my friend. She wanted to stay with him. I told her I believe people can move on after cheating and that she will have to truly trust him and forgive him but that it’s possible and completely supported her in her choice.
Here’s where the story takes a dark turn and where my feelings changed. One night, they got into an argument. She locked herself in a room trying to escape the nasty things he was screaming at her but he just kept going. She came out swinging at him in anger. He picked her up, slammed her on the ground, and then proceeded to choke her. She told me she thought she was going to die and felt herself blacking out.
He could have broken her neck throwing her around. He could have actually choked her to death. He almost took my best friend from me. He almost left their child without a mother. After that night, I could not forgive him and could not try to support her staying with him. I know she hit him first but I still don’t believe he should have taken it that far.
My friend wanted me to show the same support I did after he cheated but I could not. He refused to delete the girl he cheated with from his social media. I felt like this was evidence enough that he wasn’t going to change and that he didn’t respect her.
I basically told her that I could not be a good friend to her anymore because I couldn’t tell her what she wanted to hear and she admitted that’s all she wanted from me really was for me to make her feel confident in her choice to stay.
AITA for leaving her after all this happened to her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
h7bP7vZtcyr2kVqP0vX18e4pLk5ogFMz
|
9vravx
|
{
"description": "not having sex with boyfriend when he wants",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not having sex with boyfriend when he wants?
|
When we first got together in Highschool we had sex all the time fast forward to now I just don't want it as often as he does he wants it multiple times a week and honestly I'd be fine a couple of times a month, sometimes I'll give him a handjob. But he just wants it all day every day it feels like, and it doesn't even feel like he wants it, because of me, like he just wants it because he's horny ( I know what I said doesn't make sense) I just feel like a sex toy, and it's just not as pleasant as it used to be, so idk
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
veZGPnfhPkE7ttRKCYNN5t8owuspaup8
|
b31362
|
{
"description": "getting defensive when I refused to erase pictures of a car crash that someone asked that I delete from the group chat",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting defensive when I refused to erase pictures of a car crash that someone asked that I delete from the group chat?
|
There are screenshots for proof if anyone wants to translate themselves. (https://imgur.com/a/oTJ8XaQ)
Anyway. Some photos of a very high profile car (Mercedes AMG, one of two in the country) started circulating on Whatsapp yesterday because it had crashed. So I sent them to an auto group chat I'm in. It was relevant to me because I had gone to an event at the racetrack with this group of people about a month prior, and in that event the Mercedes, then new, caused a two-car crash with his very aggressive driving.
The chat goes like this:
Purple: Please delete the pictures
Me: Why?
Purple: Well, would you like pictures of your car crash to circulate on whatsapp?
Me: It’s a high profile car, I don’t see any harm in sharing the pictures
Purple: You are answering yourself ((this to me is a non-answer as I don’t have a high profile car and I have shared my own pictures of my crash before))
Blue: There were pictures of the McLaren crash on the front page when it happened
Fast forward a bit and the guy now demands that I give him a reason why I sent the pictures. I saw it fit to stand up for myself in my response so I said: “Because I wanted to? I don’t have to justify myself to you. Accidents happen and it’s not our responsibility to censor things”
Blue: Your answer shows your lack of education
Me: No sir, that is not a lack of education. You are starting a fight over nothing and demanding I explain myself to you. Freedom of speech is a constitutional right.
The argument goes on for about 5 more minutes where one of the group admins requests we make up so I offer to delete the pictures in good faith, and I do, as can be seen in the screenshots.
AITA for standing up to this guy?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
WPOOXZcZw46YmC1YwqlDtECmwcO0xQzj
|
afzbg3
|
{
"description": "making a sarcastic joke about plastic surgery",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for making a sarcastic joke about plastic surgery?
|
AMITA
Preface: Been home for the holidays with my SO for the past couple days so tensions are running a little high (my family is pretty crazy, open, and talk about a lot of uncomfortable things that would make other people feel weird).
Today at lunch I (F20) and my boyfriend (M20) were talking with my family about plastic surgery. My mom asked if I would ever get lip fillers and I said no because I thought it was a waste of money. My SO joked that he did because he has large luxurious lips(even though he doesn’t have fillers). We all laughed and were joking around so I thought it would be funny to ask what he would get if he did. He immediately stood up and said well now that you called me out I’m going to go do my homework. There was no joking humor and he looked hurt. I immediately just got frustrated because it was obviously a joke (at least I thought I said it with sarcasm). He seems genuinely upset which makes me upset because our family is constantly joking but it’s super harmless and we never mean it. I honestly can’t contain my anger because he does this all the time and he just joked about it right before.
Am I the asshole for being upset at this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
7TNneAv5NwJVWsEhtTJt9CsJhet5VBtG
|
al52qj
|
{
"description": "saying my mom gets offended by everything",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying my mom gets offended by everything?
|
Me (14) and my mom had a fight today. The problem about this is that my mom insists on being right all the time. She will argue her point to no end even if she knows she’s wrong. So today we were doing scripture study for about 45 minutes and my brother complained about how long it took. My mom said that it wasn’t that long and that “We started at 10:30” I chimed in and corrected her saying that we actually started at 10. She flipped out at me because “I wasn’t supporting her” I told her that she was right and that I shouldn’t have said that because I knew that’s the only way it wouldn’t cause a fight. Then she just keeps attacking me about it. I replied a few times and also tried to stop the fight a few more times. Eventually I got tired of it and told her that it wasn’t a big deal and she gets offended about everything. This has proven itself to be true over the past few months. She recently didn’t like the way my dad replied to someone he was talking to. She tried to correct him and he “Ok” in a bit of an exasperated voice. She went crazy telling him how rude he was and that his tone was mean. She’s done this multiple times recently. So after I say that she get offended by everything and she says she doesn’t, she talks to my dad and eventually they get to a point where she is upset that he was on his phone checking emails during scripture study and she tells him “It really hurts my feelings when ur on ur phone” I thought this was funny cuz she just said she wasn’t offended by everything. She came back into my room multiple times after to tell me about what a bad person I am even thought I’ve been patient with her for the past couple months.
So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
jFp4f4i2DE8Q4Vu0AzJhncRAifqHHPSy
|
b7q9fn
|
{
"description": "leaving £20 in my boyfriends car",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for leaving £20 in my boyfriends car?
|
Earlier today my boyfriend asked me to drop off something he bought for a friend with said friend, and to pick up the money owed. My boyfriend was driving and I was the passenger so I quickly jumped out, dropped it off and came back to the car and we set off to a pub for lunch. I asked him where he wanted the money and he didn't answer so I put it down in the little coin part that most cars have in front of the gear stick. We went out for lunch and when we got back to the car he was really angry with me for leaving the money there claiming 'someone could have smashed my Windows to get that money'. It wasn't a particularly dodgy area, it was lunchtime so broad daylight and we were maybe 100yards down the road in a pub. He also consistently leaves his car unlocked overnight to which his argument was 'Yeah but there's never anything valuable in it'
So AITA for leaving money visible in his car for an hour?
tldr: I left £20 in my boyfriends car in a visible area, he is mad because he thinks its attractive to theives (we live in an average area, not super dodgy)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
TRIh5ANNFrzDx9Ru7hDEUpRlpusGWEGe
|
a67otb
|
{
"description": "causing my mothers miscarriage",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for causing my mothers miscarriage?
|
Hi all.
To start this off, we need some context. I have a pet chicken that lives indoors. He is very well loved, spoiled rotten and goes outdoors very frequently. He has a coop build in my walk-in closet. I had to leave town for a week, and my mother was babysitting him. Which is basically feeding and water him, and making sure hes okay.
While I was away She called me to tell me she had a miscarriage.
This was about two months ago.
I have recently discovered that my bird may have had Chalmidya. Before you think anything weird, no, you do not have to have intercourse to get it from a bird. Its often carried in dust. I had fully cleaned his coop before I left, so dust may have been flying around when mom went in to feed him in the morning. I really don't know how to feel. I have so many emotions and thoughts right now, and I would really like some different perspectives on this matter.
TL:DR My mother may have gotten exposed to a virus carried by my pet bird, and subsequently miscarraiged.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
rBiPuymictSeNkfMbO2ojvPJNdQbmIPd
|
a4xugq
|
{
"description": "defending myself",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for defending myself (verbally)
|
My boyfriend and I work in the same place, same amount of hours per day (except he works one more day than me).
I switch between standing/sitting for seven hours and packing things in bags. He moves around most of the day picking orders, sorting out stock etc, maybe gets to sit for an hour at the most, but as i already said, we work the same amount of hours.
after i have worked 7 hours, i come home, cook dinner then wash up. He comes home and sits in fornt of the pc/tv.
This sometimes causes arguments as he claims becasue he is on his feet working and im only sitting down part of the day, he is working harder than me and 'entitled' to more rest at home.
I think this is wrong.. he might be on his feet, but im doing the same amount of hours work as him... im even getting up before him in the morning. AITA??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
D3gt8SirZz9nxoNQ96r2wCJ8wuOiKKr7
|
ay41ti
|
{
"description": "talking about a customer at work",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for talking about a customer at work
|
I have a part time job at a major clothing retailer. A customer started chatting with me, and we realized we live in the same area. Cool! Let’s call her Rachel. As Rachel and I were talking, another customer—we’ll call her Sarah—entered the store in a hurried manner. I noticed her out of the corner of my eye, but before I could greet her, she walked right in between Rachel and me, even though we were clearly having a conversation. Rude. But whatever. We kept chatting. About 3 seconds later, Sarah interrupts us and says in a demanding voice “Where is the boys underwear??”
I stopped talking. Looked her in the eye, and said: “They’re over there.” I gestured to the back of the store where we keep those items. I was surprised at her behavior, butting into a conversation to demand my attention. Lots of customers have questions, but they usually wait until I’m not with another customer to ask.
A coworker walked up on the other side of me and asked what that was about?
“This girl just totally interrupted me while I was talking to a customer,” I muttered. Coworker coughs, and I turn to see Sarah standing there. Crap. She probably heard me.
“Oh, were you talking about me?” She said.
“Yes,” I responded. No point in lying, and I hadn’t said anything terrible.
“You were talking about me because I asked where the boys underwear was?” She clarified.
“They’re over there.” I gestured to the boys underwear, really just wanting her to go away.
“I spend a LOT of money here,” she said.
“Good!” I responded. What else does one say to such a statement?
“That’s really rude,” she said in a disapproving voice, and walked away to complain to my manager.
So what say you, Reddit? Was I an asshole for admitting that we were talking about her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
l8krtaTydt9PMoNMxrS51KiYSa5cS3iV
|
aa6vne
| null |
AITA visited my sister and her family. Left in the night while all were sleeping.
|
I have been visiting my sister and her family the last couple of days. I had a ticket to return home on Friday evening (today/tomorrow).
My sisters husbands family came to visit yesterday (not planned, the brothers thought it would be a great idea). They were 4, two parents, one baby and the mothers sister.
We were already 4, my sister and her husband, their baby and me.
They live in a 2 bedroom apartment, that barely fit us 4 that was originally sleeping there.
Somehow it got decided that the brothers family would sleepover instead of driving 30 min back, no alcohol was involved.
**I had to pack my stuff and leave the room I slept in** and sleep in the living room due to that their child needed the room. The brother also slept in the living room, and he was **snoring** like there is no tomorrow.
The mother, her sister and the baby had to sleep with the **lights on** (fully on, in my “old” room). Which of course made it harder to sleep and on top of that the baby was **crying all night.**
They had to have the door open 3-4 inches so the light and baby’s crying passed out.
I need to underline that this was the brothers baby and it’s mother and aunt in “my old room”.
I got pissed because:
- It was impossible to sleep due to snoring, baby crying and lights on.
- Since I had to sleep in the living room instead of my room I had to stay up until everyone was ready to go to sleep although I was tired and wanted to sleep 2-3h earlier. Went to bed 2am.
- The visit of the brother could have been postponed 1 day, there was no room for all of us and it wasn’t planned. 1 day later would work for everybody and I would be gone
So I bought a new ticket home, and left in the middle of the night.
I’ve tried to really not limit them with during my visit, they have been able to do whatever they want when I’ve been there. I’ve paid for my food etc since I thought it would be better for them to spend the money on their baby instead.
Somehow I felt really screwed over because of the visit of the brother and how they handled the situation.
Tl;dr: visited my sister, her husbands brothers family came over although there was no room and I couldn’t sleep. Left in the middle of the night instead of later that day.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jh62pczMV5T3PPY1YaDv308rHv2cqx3e
|
b2jzsp
|
{
"description": "standing up to my bully by using his mom's disease",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for standing up to my bully by using his mom's disease?
|
English isn't my native language, so, you know.
This all happened when I was in highschool. Long story short, new kid shows up at the beggining of the year, dude spends the year just constantly emotionally bullying me. He had more money than me, so he had the habit of making fun of me because I was "poor", constantly taunting me about it.
So one day I had enough: I was sharpening a pencil, and accidentally dropped the sharpener into the trash bin, dude sees this, immediately goes "Hey WeakPangolin, are you searching for something to eat, since, you know, you are too poor to buy lunch?", I turned around, looked him in the eye and just said "Yeah, well, at least my mom doesn't have cancer".
Ended up getting a 1-day suspension, both the schools director and my parents gave me a sermon on how what I did was horrible. He got away with it, but at least he never bullied me ever again.
So, was I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
iZOnmdfgfehNwBBG8WNo2V2x4k04rsSK
|
as1z2y
|
{
"description": "not having more sympathy",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not having more sympathy?
|
I met this girl who asked me out infront of all of our mates who were staring so I said yes even though I didn't really like her in that way. But she was attractive and I thought some people are slow burners so I thought why not. I went on a date and it was fine, but I was still unsure, and she invited me over the next night and I didn't really respond to signals that she wanted to sleep with me (im good at sort of acting oblivious to that stuff and cockblocking myself lol) because I didn't want to lead her on when I was still unsure.
It was a few days later that I decided to text her that I think we would be better friends, I thought this was fine, we went on two dates and I had met her 3 times total.
She called me at 1AM that night and cried for 2 hours to which i responded with sympathy, even though I thought it was strange.
She then spends the next two weeks emotionally blackmailing me, generally trying to waste my time and excluding me from stuff (our friendship groups were merging at this point), which I never complained about- fair enough some people are more emotional, idc, I still have my friends. But im slowly losing patience and sympathy, It was literally 2 dates, i dont know the girl. Eventually at the end of the second week when she's still trying to manipulate me into dating her when i snap and just tell her to leave me alone and that I can't believe she cares this much about someone she doesnt know.
&#x200B;
Now fuckin everyone and their nan in our group has crawled out of the bloody woodwork to tell me they cant believe im being so cold!! Am i being unreasonable? I tried to give her time but im not going to just be a "nice guy" and be a doormat
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
m0RyPbGv7f3n9toMoAPKdJ2Q2RhEa4Y3
|
b205k2
|
{
"description": "not telling my friend's boyfriend she was cheating on him with his son",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not telling my friend's boyfriend she was cheating on him with his son?
|
Names: Hayley = cheating friend, Gary = her partner at the time, Zack = the partner's son, and Katy = the other friend in this story.
This happened around 2-3 years ago. I had gotten back in contact with Hayley after a few years of us not seeing each other, and she started telling me about her new boyfriend Gary. Hayley was around 23 at the time, and Gary was in his mid 40's. Gary had a son, Zack, who was a year younger than Hayley, Hayley and Zack had actually gone to the same school together but didn't know it until seeing old school photos.
Things seemed to be going fine in Hayley and Gary's relationship and she ended up moving in with Gary and his family. Quickly Gary's sister didn't like Hayley and was accusing her of doing inappropriate things with Zack while Gary was at work. Hayley denied them and I believed her, just thinking Gary's sister didn't approve of Hayley because of the age gap.
Until one night. Through a series of events I can't talk about because it'll make the post too long, Hayley, Zack and I were spending the night at my friend Katy's house. At night we sorted out our sleeping arrangements, Katy and I were going to sleep in Katy's bed, and Hayley and Zack were going to sleep on the air mattress we'd put up beside Katy's bed. So we turned off the light and hopped into bed.
Katy fell asleep quickly, but I can take hours to fall asleep, but I was quiet, so Hayley and Zack probably assumed I was asleep too. Then I started hearing noises, like hand movements and a male voice groaning. Without getting too into details, it was obvious what I was hearing was Hayley giving Zack a handjob (even found some used toilet paper on the floor the next day, gross). My back was facing them, so I couldn't open my eyes to try and see what was going on, but you could easily tell with just the audio.
The next day we had planned to all go to a birthday party, but I told the others I was feeling sick (I had health problems at the time, so it was believable) and asked Katy to stay behind to look after me, which she did. Once they were gone I told her what had happened, and asked if I should tell Gary. I wasn't close to Gary or anything, but I did have him on Facebook, so I could of contacted him.
Ultimately I felt scared at the potential of losing Hayley as a friend, and not knowing if Gary would believe me since I didn't have any actual evidence, and also didn't want to screw up Gary and Zack's father/son relationship, so I didn't end up saying anything. AITA for not saying anything to him? He and Hayley ended up breaking up sometime last year for unrelated reasons, but I still feel somewhat guilty for keeping my mouth shut about it.
TL;DR: heard friend masturbating her boyfriend's son but didn't end up telling the boyfriend, not sure if I made the right decision or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
NFgLpsgigAvtK2RG5hWSt8ePIxajo9on
|
abixmo
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut contact with a friend who has a mental illness",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut contact with a friend who has a mental illness
|
So I’m a guy and I’ve have had a great group of friends who live on my road.
A couple of years ago I was introduced to a girl by a mutual friend and we were good friends at first.
After a while she started to hit on me but I rejected her advances.
I found out from her that she’s clinically depressed, has anxiety and schizophrenia. She tends to hugely exaggerate anything that hugely exaggerate anything happening to her so I’m not sure about the last one.
She also came out as trans (or other she’s never clarified or made any big changes) and bi.
Ever since I rejected her she completely changed towards me, constantly trying to emasculate me in front of my group of friends, calling me the biggest virgin she’s ever met, and has also hit me quite a few times. She constantly insists she’s better and smarter than me and any time I try to argue back she says that my arguaments only work because she was in hospital at the time of exams etc...
I haven’t acted on it because I feel like she’s become a part of the group and didn’t want to upset my other friends.
AITA for wanting her to leave the group?
What should I do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
sOUuKeB3vHJAb8xZ9CjKcsTGkGkidRJb
|
a525wf
|
{
"description": "clogging a pool lane by walking to rehab my knee",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for clogging a pool lane by walking to rehab my knee?
|
I just got ACL surgery about 6 weeks ago (tore it playing soccer, during the first 30 seconds of the season but that’s another story) and I’ve been way ahead of schedule with my recovery as I’ve tried to be super loyal to the PT regimen since I’m trying to get back for my senior year baseball season (17 M btw).
About a week ago, my physical therapist told me that while I can’t run, it would be great for me to get into a pool and jog to help my body get running mechanics back even before I’ve rehabbed my quad enough for it to be ready to bear the weight of running. I’m lucky enough to have a running membership at a local Equinox that has a pool available for all its members so I figured it was perfect.
The first day I got there I asked the lifeguard if I could get into the slow lane and walk/jog/backpedal as long as I stayed out of the way of the swimmers (that didn’t really end up being an issue because they were going pretty slow). He said yes as long as I did my best not to bother anyone so I eased myself in and started walking up and down the pool.
Now, the PT has told me to run for about 15 mins before standing in the water and doing some single leg squats, hip hinges, etc. It was at this time that I decided it would be a good idea to ask my dad to film a couple of the exercises I was doing. I’m planning on taking a lot of different videos and editing them into a youtube series for my senior project because a) it lets me drop a class senior spring and b) some of the tutorials I found online have actually really helped.
This caught the attention of a guy swimming in the far lane (the fast one) and he began to yell at me for clogging up the lane. To be fair, I was probably taking up a yard or two off the end of my lane, but I didn’t think there was anything wrong with what I was doing. He said I was being selfish, and when I responded with “Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!” (this happened on November 22nd), he left the pool yelling about the selfishness he was tired of in the sports club.
It’s a long winded story for a short description, but it’s been bothering me for a couple weeks. I’m kind of scared to go back. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
fu5JfdJeCrfrbdN9YDaPZdpTmnmpNrUp
|
b0rc4s
|
{
"description": "postponing a trip with a friend but still going on vacation with my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for postponing a trip with a friend but still going on vacation with my boyfriend?
|
This happened almost four years ago and ended this friendship. She got in touch with me last night and we both still think the other is wrong.
Allow me to set the stage- it’s 2015 and my friend, L and I decide that the upcoming fall we are gonna hike the Appalachian trail together. L and I grew up together and had been life long friends. There was a time when I’d have said I felt closer to her then to anyone in the world. She and I both struggle with our demons and mental health and we were both in rough shape at the time. She’d just had a difficult break up and was extremely depressed. I had been living with my parents after I ended up in a partial inpatient behavioral health program.
Given what we’ve both been through, this hike meant more to us both than just a fun trip. It was meant to be life changing and cathartic. We were really serious about it. We started planning and researching and decided that this would be a six month long endeavor.
But, things didn’t work out. Around March, shit started to hit the fan for me. My parents were getting divorced and my dad had to be removed from the house by the police. My mom had a restraining order but he continued to stalk and harass her. I had a public blackout/meltdown and got arrested. My mom decided to sell the house we were living in and move across the country.
So by summer, I found myself needing a place to live, alone in a strange city, estranged from my father, owing court fees and pretty heartbroken. I realized I couldn’t afford to go by September as we had planned. First months rent, security deposit, costs of moving, and court fees had depleted my savings. I told L that we would have to postpone our trip because I needed time to save up money and figure out my shit. She was pretty upset and not super understanding (her parents pay her bills) but she was furious when she found out that I wasn’t planning on canceling a road trip the following month with my boyfriend.
In my defense, boyfriend (now fiancé) and I are LDR, him in Europe and me in the US, and we had planned this trip for nearly a year. Not to mention, BF has a great job and paid for the whole trip. The only money I spent was on some postcards. While I felt horrible for postponing my trip with L, I didn’t think it was fair of her to ask me to cancel my trip with my boyfriend. So I didn’t. I went and had a great time and it was a huge relief to be away from all the shit that I’d been through that year. The rest of the shit with L was just drama and nonsense and I’m glad to have cut her out of my life because it got pretty nasty. But still, after talking to her last night, I’m a little shaken by her confidence that I was completely in the wrong. So, am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
32QVIXMwdmnwjQjQejFCEy3K479j7Egf
|
b1mz29
|
{
"description": "dating my ex's sister",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for dating my ex’s sister?
|
They’re twins, and we kind of rushed into our relationship, one day, she stopped talking to me, and I tried to talk to her a few times but just got shut down, I decided to wait for her to be ready to talk to me, assuming she’d say something when she was. This went on for weeks and during this time, her twin sister (also a friend of mine) noticed I was confused and upset and started doing things to make me feel better, like talk to me a lot and give me hugs (she was not trying to get with me, she didn’t want to be in any relationship at the time). Anyway, my now-ex girlfriend never did start talking to me again, and, after an awkward prom, she broke up with me in tears over a voice call and I told her I understood. (Later I learned she’d been telling her friends (not me) that she was waiting for me to talk to her but I was always talking to her sister. I wish she would have said something, I thought she would just shut me down again.) At this point, the sister still didn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone, but we kept talking, a lot, and she was making me feel better about myself and helping me get over the breakup. A few months later, we were dating. A little after we got together, I learned my ex was already having sex with her new bf. I didn’t mind. But that was almost a year ago, and my ex still doesn’t talk to me, and whenever she’s having a rough time in her relationship, she’ll sometimes get mad at my gf for dating me, and I feel a little bad. I do feel like I would have been happier dating my current gf from the start than recovering my relationship with her sister, but I still feel like I might have done the wrong.
TL;DR: My girlfriend stopped talking to me, and her twin sister (my friend) started making me feel better despite being ghosted. Girl broke up with me, and I started dating her sister a few months later.
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"description": "possibly leading a guy on",
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AITA for possibly leading a guy on
|
Okay so I know what the title says, but I would like to clarify that I know that leading someone on is a dick move. I’m more confused as to whether or not what I’m doing can be considered as leading someone on. Basically, I met this guy in a club in December and we made out in the club and exchanged numbers. We’ve been texting since then, but we live in different cities and so we barely see each other. Since then we’ve met up like twice, but we text a lot, like everyday. Anyway, it’s quite obvious to me that he was sort of into me, but because we hardly saw each other and barely knew each other, I figured it was pretty casual. Between seeing him, I’d continue to casually see a few other guys casually. Anyway, a few weeks ago, he got really drunk and drunk called me, but I didn’t answer and he left me a voicemail which was largely unintelligible, but my friends and I managed to distinguish him saying ‘I want to be exclusive with you’. I don’t really know what that means, or at least I don’t want to assume, and when I was texting him the next day he said he didn’t remember anything from the night before. Anyway, I haven’t said anything about it and we are still talking and he’s planning on coming to see me next week, which I’m excited about.
&#x200B;
My friends seem to think I don’t like him, and I’m not sure I do. I definitely like him as a person, and we get on really well, but I’m not a 100% sold on anything more with him. I definitely see the potential, I could see us having something more, but for now I’m just so confused because we’ve hardly spent any time together. While some of my friends have told me to tell him about this, I also don’t want to be too presumptuous about the situation. We never defined the parameters of this relationship/friendship, and I don’t want to assume he wants something more if he doesn’t. I’m just worried that I’m leading him on, and I would never want to hurt him, so, AITA?
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{
"description": "making my fiancé pay for a hotel herself because she refuses to stay with my parents on Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 26,
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|
AITA for making my fiancé pay for a hotel herself because she refuses to stay with my parents on Christmas?
|
So this Christmas the plan is for my fiancé and I to fly out and visit my parents. We’ve done this before and we stayed at their house, which I thought was fine. This year she wants to get a hotel for two nights instead of staying with them. I asked why and she complained that there’s no privacy at my parents’ (Which is true - we won’t be the only guests there. But it’s literally two nights!).
Aside from that I’m already going to have to deal with my mother’s hurt feelings over this since I don’t see my parents all that often anymore. Mostly everyone in my family has a strong personality so I get why my fiancé feels somewhat smothered. But again, it’s two freaking nights.
Anyway I told her that I’m not spending money on a hotel room and that I’m staying with my parents. She got mad and accused me of abandoning her on Christmas and acting like a child. Finally I said if she wants me to go to the hotel with her then she’s footing the whole bill. She gets mad and starts going off about how much money she’s spending on the wedding and I should be willing to pay something. (To be clear - *she* isn’t paying for anything. Her parents want this huge elaborate wedding that no one can afford and they’re paying for most of it, which they never complained about. Meanwhile, I’m trying to save so we can finally buy a house).
Anyway it turned into this huge fight and she thinks I’m being selfish. I really am tempted to just tell her to go spend the holiday with her own family and I’ll see her afterward. But I feel like she’d actually kill me so I haven’t said that.
AITA here??
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HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "throwing trash in my roommates room and losing my cool",
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|
AITA For throwing trash in my roommates room and losing my cool?
|
Ok so, I'm pretty sure I'm \[24f\] the asshole here. This just happened, and I am really trying to calm down and get my head straight. Please rip me a new one here if I deserve it.
&#x200B;
I came back to the house this morning with trash overflowing in the garbage can and a bad smell. I took out the trash and this isn't the first time this happened. My roommate \[27m\] is somewhat of a slob. Granted I'm not the most organized person ever, but I am sanitary. I don't mind mess, but garbage and stink...nope.
I got kind of petty and asked him to do the dishes, which were a lot but nothing gross. Mostly just dirty water cups and such. He was being an asshole and got mad at me for even asking, and I told him he didn't have to do it, but I did take care of his garbage. I went to go pee and noticed piss in the toilet, and I got annoyed. He never flushes his pee. One time at 4 am, I accidentally peed on top of his and it fucking splashed up onto my vagina and the thought of doing that again really makes me want to vomit. YUCK. I can't stand his habits, but other than that we are pretty good friends when things are good. However, to give myself a laugh, my friend prank called him saying to take out his garbage and he literally went off, saying he'd find my friend and beat his ass. He proceeds to blare screamo and pout for a good 3 hours.
I was on the phone with my bf when I hear "dog got out" and apparently he accidentally let my giant 110 pound great dane/pit/lab out. I asked him to help me retrieve my dog and he just says "no". This is a big deal because people are very afraid of my dog (which I get. He's friendly but very scary looking. He's black with yellow eyes, giant looking pit) and I need someone stronger than me to grab him sometimes. Thank god some kind strangers came to my aid. I come back and his friend was like "there's the bad boy!" jokingly. I didn't find it funny and was like "no, this is \[my roommate's\] fault, lazy ass didn't even help me".
I come in and notice that there's trash ALL OVER the basement steps. covered the walls and was stinking up. I fucking lost it. I yelled at him to clean it RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. He said no, started plugging his PS4 in and I unplug it, telling him to clean. We are pushing each other around like fucking children. He refuses. So I said if he doesn't, I'd throw the trash in his room. And that's what I did. I apologized to his friend that is just watching this all unfold. He started cleaning stuff up and gagging because of how gross it was.
I am now back to my room, fuming and trying to cool off. I might have a problem.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not wanting to hand out religious themed Christmas cards at work",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to hand out religious themed Christmas cards at work?
|
So my girlfriend went out and bought a load of christmas cards to hand out to neighbors, co-workers, friends etc.
This isn't really a problem and I'm honestly happy to do so, however when I looked at the cards she had gotten they were biblical scenes, jesus on the cross all that weird stuff. I explained that I don't feel comfortable giving out those cards to co-workers as some of them may take it the wrong way and that it is probably be better to just get more neutral cards.
Suffice to say she kicked off and is now sleeping at her mothers. Besides this being a classically British argument AITA here?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "hating my parents for giving birth to me",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for hating my parents for giving birth to me?
|
Throwaway because some friends know my real account.
I am currently in high-school and as a child I got diagnosed with asthma and several muscular conditions. My parents KNEW they had those conditions and the problems that could occur with these conditions but my parents had me anyways since they apparently thought that since they didn’t have any complications with them I wouldn’t have them either. Fast-foward a couple of years and it turns out that I got unlucky and will have many complications due to those conditions that will leave me paraplegic in a couple of years. So, AITA for hating my parents for giving birth to me while knowing they had many conditions that will permanently affect my quality of life?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "telling my trainer she screwed up",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I told my trainer she screwed up?
|
Started a new job about a month ago. Good job, but it's the kind where mistake are very easy to make. My trainer and I are basically splitting the duties of a single role, we each take half, with her watching and always available to help.
Anyways, today a found a case that had several errors on it. A page was missing I had look up, some of the information was filed incorrectly, etc. easy stuff to mess up. But it was a lot, so I needed her help to sort it out. At one point during the review of it, she makes a comment that clearly indicates she thinks I did it. Now, that is a fair assumption, they are easy mistake to make, i made them, and I'm new. Her tone wasn't accusatory, she wasn't going to report the error or anything, no one is getting it trouble. The thing is *this time* it's on her. Her name and employee number is all over the case. Would I have been this asshole if I had advised her this was all on her?
Bonus info: she is pregnant and in pain from preexisting medical issue exacerbated by the pregnancy. She is always kind and understanding with me, but I get the feeling she can be a bitch. Also, her and our boss worked together for almost a decade at this and another firm. So it may not be wise to call her out even if I'm not the asshole...
Tl;Dr: My cranky, pregnant trainer at my new job thinks I made a error that she did. No one is getting in trouble for it, so would I have been an asshole if I corrected her?
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HYPOTHETICAL
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{
"description": "refusing to hire a vegan chef when most of our dishes are meat based",
"pronormative_score": 268,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
AITA for refusing to hire a vegan chef when most of our dishes are meat based?
|
So I have been working in my parent's bar and grill/cafe for as long as I can remember. There is an emphasis on steak, hamburgers, tacos, fish, etc, along with a lot of other meaty bar foods and sandwiches. We have practically zero vegan/ vegetarian dishes. We have exactly one now that I think about it, a simple veggie platter. My parents have been running this place for 10 years now, and we have earned a good reputation in the neighborhood as a local hotspot.
&#x200B;
I have been attending college nearby recently so my hours have naturally dropped, but I am still a high ranking manager within in this grill/cafe. I will often handle the hiring process these days, as my mother is the head chef and my father is in ill health and trusts my judgement. I am a fair judge of character and have hired a lot of our best employees.
&#x200B;
We have been searching for a new chef to take my mother's spot very soon, as she is getting ready to retire. A friend of mine recommended another friend of hers for the position, a recent culinary grad. I agreed to give her a fair chance and had her pass on a message to the friend in question to come in for an interview.
&#x200B;
Fast forward to the day of the interview. She comes in with a good looking resume, but she has no actual job experience in the culinary field as of yet, only college. This isn't a dealbreaker for me, everyone has to start somewhere. As I start asking about her favorite dishes, she first makes it very clear that she is a strict vegan and begins to outline her favorite vegan dishes.
&#x200B;
I am bit concerned at this point. I ask her if she is aware that we grill house/cafe with a heavy emphasis on meat. I ask her how she is going to taste the dishes if she can not/will not eat meat. She assures she me that she will just have someone else do it, but this does not work for me. We get very busy and everyone has their own express job inside of the kitchen. The head chef is responsible for all final tasting and quality control. It is an important duty. A chef who refuses to taste their own food might as well be cooking with a hand tied behind their back, as my mother put it later.
&#x200B;
I end the meeting after a bit, talk to my parents about it, and end up calling her later and telling her that after our consideration we feel she would be better suited in a kitchen that suited her own tastes. She had a complete meltdown and hung up on me. My other friend then texted me up a storm, calling me an asshole, saying I should have given her a chance, she is having a hard time finding work as a vegan chef in this area, etc. After thinking about it for a bit I do feel bad, but I remain firm that she would not have been a comfortable fit in such a meat heavy environment. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "calling my pregnant friend a \"Fatfuck\"",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for calling my pregnant friend a "Fatfuck"?
|
So a little backstory, me and my friend have known each other since we were kids and we always had this relationship where we would insult each other to make us laugh. And recently she got married, moved state and got pregnant so I haven't seen her in a few months, but we still keep up. And then she invited me to her birthday party and because I haven't seen her in a while and didn't want to be a bad friend I told her I'd be there, her husband even offered to buy my flight which surprised me because we never got along.
So her husband picks me up at the airport and things are a little awkward but I try to ignore it and when we arrive at their house as soon as she see's me, she gets up to give me a hug and I noticed she's VERY pregnant, so I say "Wow look at you, ya Fatfuck" we both laugh and when she hugs me I said "just kidding, you look beautiful" this is where the problem starts.
After this interaction I noticed, I didn't know ANY of the people there and people didn't seem to like me, a few people gave me dirty looks and a few snide remarks were made but I tried to be as friendly as possible, people would also compliment her and look at me, I didn't know what they were doing and still don't.
About halfway into the party her husband and a few other people pulled me aside and said I should apologize to her as what I said was really inappropriate and mean, I just told them it was a joke, she took it as a joke and this was how we always talked to each other and her husband said "I know you always had a thing for her and I always put up with it, but you need to apologize or you must leave" I told him he was being an idiot and needed to calm down and that I don't have a thing for her but he wouldn't listen.
Just to stop him from arguing with me I apologized to her and she was like "for what?" and the next few hours were shit, everybody was ignoring me, I even heard someone call me an asshole. So I felt pretty shitty the whole night, so I had to ask you guys, was I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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| null |
AITA?
|
Hubby and I have been married for 8 years. For the past 2 years, he has been gone for 1.5 of it for work, but he has input in selecting the missions that keep him away. When I express frustration for him leaving AGAIN, it is, "well, it was best for the team." Last year, he got a really cushy gig, and the power went to his head. He shut down, ignored me and kiddo (he had pool parties to throw, of course), partied, and did all sorts of stuff I won't post on here. When he came home he texted his friends he was "dead inside" because there was "nothing here to return to." That really burned my biscuits. He keeps chosing this country, saying he has no choice. He's been better this year, but after last year with Emilie (seriously, fuck you both, hubby and Emilie), I'm just done. I've withheld this info from his family. AITA for keeping the peace and then ending it when he gets home next month?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "being angry at my friend for always being broke",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for being angry at my friend for always being broke?
|
I've been friends with this person, let's call her Taylor, for around 4 years. She's never really had money, but she used to just bring it up if I asked her to go to something expensive (say, a $35 trip to a museum). She's also always smoked weed, but it used to be around a few times a week. I've never smoked regularly, I'm not a fan. We used to talk about all kinds of things, positive and negative, but that's changed.
In the last year, Taylor started dating and living with this guy, I think his views are rubbing off on her. Now when we hang out, all she talks about is being broke, smoking weed, hating capitalism, and being depressed. I know she's struggling, but she's also distant and refuses to talk about any of these issues in anything other than that joking, existential meme way. She smokes weed 3-4+ times a day, and now refuses to spend any money when we hang out together, even on something very inexpensive ($10 movie tickets, etc.) We end up just walking around or sitting in my house.
It pisses me off that Taylor has enough to spend on weed but can't set aside less than an hour's wages to hang out with me. It makes me feel like I'm not important enough. AITA for thinking this way and not wanting to see her as much anymore?
|
HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "constantly arguing with my dad",
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}
|
AITA for constantly arguing with my dad
|
Wait Ik just from the title it sounds like an automatic YTA but there’s more to it. You see it’s about my gf, we’re an interracial couple (Black and Hispanic) and my dad seems to have a problem with that. He constantly repeats that she doesn’t love me (this girl has bought me a game, been there for my failures, etc) now normally I’d take him seriously (he’s my dad lol) but he’s said some fucked up shit about her and her ethnicity like....
“ what makes you think she’s not rubbing up on guys”
“Those people will seem friendly at first”
“She doesn’t love you those people always have issues”
“You shouldn’t trust them”
“Those people are always addicted to something”
“Most of those people are criminals”
When he says these things I argue that it’s not fair to say that and we just scream at each other. A bit of info of my dad, he was once robbed and nearly killed so maybe that’s where the hatred came from.
Am I in the wrong to argue with him though
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "not picking up my dogs poop",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 53
}
|
AITA for not picking up my dogs poop
|
Now don't jump to conclusions 99% of the time my dogs poo is in the bin, but every 1 in a hundred poops from my dog is so vile it makes me throw up when I pick it up. I've done it before i.e thrown up while picking up one of these poops. I feel like leaving vomit in the park is worse than dog poop. Some people got mad at me the other day so I wonder AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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{
"description": "liking other girls attractive photos on instagram while in a serious relationship",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for liking other girls attractive photos on instagram while in a serious relationship?
|
We’ve been dating for a year, and i’ve always done this. we’re both 25. she got really mad at me the other day and told me it’s inappropriate that i like “sexy” pictures of other girls. she is pissed more about the girls we both know cuz she thinks it’s embarrassing for her and i’m a pig. but she also said it’s weird i like girls i don’t know.
i never thought about what i’m doing on instagram!!! i see where she’s coming from and i’ve toned it down and don’t like overtly sexual? pictures but she is still pissed. i get it, but we’ve been together a year and i didn’t just start this up. i apologized but abweek later she still brings it up
tldr: am i this asshole for liking hot girls on instagram but apologizing and stopping when confronted by gf?
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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{
"description": "not being super receptive to emotion right now",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being super receptive to emotion right now?
|
I'm in a rut. I've made this abundantly clear (by saying that I'm in a rut, not through passive aggressive bullshit) but my boyfriend keeps acting like everything I say is offending him. He says it's because of the tone of my voice. I just worked a ten hour shift feeling like nothing matters, I might be a little monotone. I'm also just trying to stay quiet because I know how I can put a negative spin on anything without knowing it. Just moments ago, I tried to make a joke. My boyfriend thought I was making a jab. I said "honey I was just kidding, I didn't mean anything by it." And he kinda blew up about it. Now he's got headphones in and is drawing stuff. Am I the asshole here? I really feel like I gave every indication that I wasn't trying to offend, but I'm also in a shit mood. I could easily see either side.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "not wanting my mother to take my tax return money",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my mother to take my tax return money
|
TLDR: So, it's tax refund season... Yippee! ...or if you're like me, you're only a cosigner on your Parent Plus Loan and you won't be seeing any of that money come back to you.
Background: My parents have always had issues with money and not being able to afford to live. My mother's father recently passed and they came into a large inheritance (which has already been spent within two years and my part of the inheritance was never received and never will be.)
Now, my father has been having serious medical issues requiring a lot of their time and money. Which they absolutely cannot afford. (I love my father so much and it hurts me that I should feel this way.)
Relative to situation: My sister lives with my parents, her car just broke down and my parents bought her a new car. (Sister is paying for college out of pocket.)
My situation goes like this: I was recently laid off and have been living off of unemployment for a couple weeks now. I will receive my own tax return, but I cannot claim my money from the parent plus loan. It would have to be divided up under the correct percentages for both my brothers loans and mine as they are inseparable (company only allows one account holder for the multiple loans.)
I have been paying double the amount on this loan and expect a rather large return, but my mother called to inform me that I will not be given that money as they are to use it for medical bills and the like. Due to my father being the main account holder, they are the only ones who can claim these loans on their taxes. They are also taking my brother's money as well, but I'm sure he doesn't feel this way.
AITA for not wanting them to use my money, when in the past they have taken my money and not used it for things they said they would? My mother was crying to me on the phone trying to guilt trip me, but when I found out they bought my sister a $4k car, I think some of that has disapated. I am frustrated and feel like an asshole for not caring about my parents well being.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
9SS9FVws8AH124eulVP6a53hhMs9O0g9
|
b48f2d
|
{
"description": "wanting my bf to move on with job offer that's taking forever",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for wanting my BF to move on with job offer that's taking forever?
|
Hi Reddit, using a throwaway and this will be a x-post to r/offmychest.
My BF (27M) and I (25F) have been together for 3.5 years. We moved in together last summer. We have always wanted to get married and feel the time is coming soon. He said he wants to be married before he's 30. We're also at the life stage where many friends are getting married, so it gives lots of opportunities to discuss what we want for our future.
The problem is this: we have some financial goals we want out of the way before we get engaged. Most we took care of shortly after moving in, but one remains: he wants to start his new job before getting engaged. However, the company has been stalling him on that for over two months, so I feel like there's no firm timeline.
He said if the job doesn't come through by next month, he'll start thinking about a proposal. He also said if he doesn't get an offer next week, he'll start searching elsewhere. I don't really believe him on either of these, because he has a habit of changing his mind and then getting mad at me when I call him out on not following through.
He is stressed at work and doesn't want me talking about it when he comes home. (Everyone else left the old company, so he's basically doing the work of a whole department by himself.) Whenever I try to bring up that he shouldn't be waiting this long, he can consider other options, this is delaying our marriage goals, etc., he tells me to "stop bitching" and "it'll happen when it happens." I'm trying to give him space while being open about the relationship, but it's like talking to a brick wall. I know this isn't healthy communication on his part.
He's been in touch with the boss and they keep telling him "any day now." But I think two months is enough and highly unprofessional considering they told him the job is already his. His current job is stable for now, so I don't see any reason to let this control other aspects of our lives.
TL;DR long-term BF won't propose until he starts his new job. Company has spent over 2 months on hiring process, still no offer in sight. BF refuses to talk about it because he "can't handle any more on his plate." AITA for thinking it's time to solve this?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
dnng2CA55kMuivaEKI5coVhqEU4KG9b8
|
ad28xt
|
{
"description": "not tipping when the waitress made me pay for an item she left off my bill",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 27
}
|
AITA for not tipping when the waitress made me pay for an item she left off my bill
|
I was at the pub and I ordered 2 pounds of wings and a 7up. Over the course of the night, I should note that, the person waiting our table changed twice. One took our order, another brought our food, and a third took care of us for the rest of the night.
There were 7 of us and 4 of us got our bills while the other three stayed behind. Well this waitress brought my bill and it only had one pound of wings on it. No 7up, no second pound. I was delighted that I only had to pay for the one pound. Then she realized that she left the 7up off of it and added it on. I paid and tipped 15%.
When we were about to leave she came back and asked "Did someone have 2 pounds of wings?" I sat there hoping not to be found out but all of my friends ratted on me. So I said "Yeah I had the second pound. What do you want to do about it?"
She brought me the bill and I paid on card and this time I tipped 0.
Am I the asshole for FIRST not pointing out the error on my bill and THEN not tipping when I paid the rest?
TL;DR waitress forgot the second pound of wings on my bill and when she realized and I had to pay, I didn't tip. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
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AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
PZGqO7Z4noH1TllGJ4Dy5nmHo8g9yTNz
|
a00h9d
|
{
"description": "not wanting to drive my sister home",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to drive my sister home?
|
My sister and I decided to visit my parents in San Francisco for Thanksgiving. My sister got a ride from her friend Jess, from San Diego to my home in LA (2 hours away). The plan was for her to ride back to SD with Jess. However, she decides she wants to bring her snowboarding equipment, and doesn't want to ride with Jess anymore since she would have to stay an extra day with Jess's family and it would be uncomfortable for her. I offered to buy her an uber or her train ticket, but she says I'm a bad brother for not wanting to drive her back down to San Diego. "You would rather pay $120 than drive your sister?"
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
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{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
LN54hdgqWSOomb7NL33yi2Ka1stY35H5
|
9yhimn
|
{
"description": "sending my sister a list of reasons not to adopt a pit bull",
"pronormative_score": 28,
"contranormative_score": 54
}
|
AITA for sending my sister a list of reasons not to adopt a pit bull.
|
For as long as I can remember my sister has wished for a puppy. But for several reasons wasn't allowed. Both me and my mom aren't huge fans of dogs, she grew up with a Dachshund which she nicknamed "Devil's Sausage" for reasons that should be obvious, and I when was 6 years old and playing on the curb a barking dog ran over to me and knocked me over, gave me a concussion, which apart from the trip to ER gave me a lasting fear of large dogs.
I'm a grown man now, and she's a grown woman. She's a bit older than me is already starting a family, has one beautiful 2y.o girl and is in the 2nd trimester of her second pregnancy. She lives her life mostly free from me, I live mine mostly free from her.
Last we met she talked about getting a dog and I generally supported her. The reason she didn't get one growing up was because of me and my mother, not her. She's an adult now and can make her own decisions. Around 2 months ago she visisted an animal shelter not long after, and after some back and forth decided to adopt a little brown 6 week old purebred pit bull puppy.
I wasn't exactly a fan, and asked her if she'd really thought the whole thing out before going through with the adoption. When my mother found out however she was deeply dissapointed, she voiced her opinion privately via texting but after some time sister exclaimed that she was a grown woman and wasn't interested in arguing over her dog anymore. It wasn't until we met at a family gathering for a birthday where things really spilled over. You could call it a dogfight. Mom v. Sister, with me reluctantly supporting my mother, and my brother reluctantly supporting my sister. It ended up getting pretty ugly, mom called her an irresponsible parent, sister called us heartless dog haters, and sister ended up leaving early.
The day after me and my mother texted eachother and decided to compile a list of arguments against her decision to adopt a pit bull if the topic were to ever come up at another family gathering. It went like this:
* Pit bulls are responsible for 62% of dog fatalities, and while they score middle of the road in agression tests, their strenght makes them far more dangerous.
* Sister is not physically strong enough to restrain a fully grown pit bull if it decided to attack another person or dog.
* Her daughter screaming or crying could set off the dog and make it snap.
* Her dog could be an annoyance to her downstairs, and other neighbours in general. She could face discrimination when trying to find housing in the future.
* She's never had a dog before, and pit bulls are high maintenance
* Dogs are expensive and she's living on limited income, any visit to the vet could leave her in big debt
* The dog will live a dull life stuck inside her appartment
A few weeks pass and me and my mother are sitting in the living room chatting and the topic about the list comes up, I agree somewhat reluctantly to send the whole thing to my sister and perhaps predictably, she blocked me without even replying. Mother messaged sister's S.O, a wonderful, smart and compassionate guy, and he explained that my sister is pretty upset and considering not coming to the christmas dinner unless we stopped criticizing her dog
My Father and brother are both telling me to leave her alone and let her have her dog, however I think the impact that the dog would have on herself and others is too big to just turn the other cheek to, and would end up damaging her in the long term. My brother and father are both very sensible and reasonable people so I'm afraid that might be the asshole.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 28,
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}
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AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 28,
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}
|
WRONG
|
IYttCP9uIRSlDNWt7rXxD8DQQ0zL4ID6
|
b2qoak
|
{
"description": "cutting contact with my ex-girlfriend a month after having cheated",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For cutting contact with my ex-girlfriend a month after having cheated?
|
I know the widespread opinion on unfaithfulness but try to hear me out first.
&#x200B;
First off this isn't an AITA for having cheated, that's clear and not up for debate. I've long accepted full responsibility for it in person, 2 days after it occurred. I then explained that I was unhappy with our relationship and thought we should see other people. She was naturally upset and I offered to leave or call her a friend, but she asked me to stay and we decided to grab dinner to recount old times and cement/celebrate our transition of relationship into friendship.
Afterwards we naturally saw less of each other but still hung out regularly and got along well. Things quickly devolved. I can't be sure why her attitude towards me started to change, but my best guess is she was getting over the realization of "we've broken up" and into "he kissed another woman".
She began to vocally berate me whenever we were in a room with friends, would tell me graphically about the other men she was having sex with and would take pride in the fact that I hadn't seen anyone since the breakup. She would also lie about what she'd told other people, leaving me unsure what my friends were saying behind my back.
I understood she was hurt and considered this fair game until a mutual friend messaged me while I was out drinking and I (stupidly and drunkenly) responded that "I was going to pretend not to have seen it" given she was a close friend of my ex and seemed wildly flirtatious. I then passed out for 8 hours.
I woke up to a shitstorm on every platform imaginable from both Friend and Ex. I apologized and tried to explain that I must've misunderstood the context of Friends message, but Ex was having none of it. I offered to three way video chat so we could all work it out. Ex replied that there'd be no point, as I'd probably just invalidate everything she had to say.
Seeing as we were at an impasse, the conversation ended. A few hours later friends began asking me about Ex's posts on instagram detailing "some people" are never meant to be trusted and "some men" are just scum. Taking polls on "how she should kill her ex's Sim" and "how to destroy all photos of us." A few minutes later I received the message that she was ready to talk.
&#x200B;
I consider myself a patient man, but this was where I drew the line. It's normal for her not to forgive me, but I'm tired of being walked all over and its become unambiguously clear she was never going to stop. So I told her that it was probably best we went our separate ways and. I explained I didn't hate her, but I certainly didn't like her anymore.
Over the next 24hrs I received numerous "heartfelt" apologies, I ignored them. 48hrs later her spiteful behaviour returned with a vengeance, and I've since had people I've never even met grimace when I introduce myself due to having met Ex first.
&#x200B;
AITA for deciding to break off contact, or was it the right thing to do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
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{
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|
RIGHT
|
qJMWMiEaJxBq0cyjaLQooynvT1NRHH1c
|
ba9hyo
|
{
"description": "not being \"poked fun at\" by my sister",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not being "poked fun at" by my sister?
|
So, a few minutes ago, I'm sitting in the car with my little brother and older sister. I've had a shitty day overall. My sister starts making gay jokes toward me. She won't stop, even though I am obviously not happy about it. She keeps going, and then I tell her something along the lines of she doesn't know when to stop. Then she gets on to me how I'm no fun and take offense to everything. I turn the song that I relate to the most, and then she goes on to call me a party pooper, a Debby downer, and an asshole. I'm not homophobic if it help. Now, due to the fact that I ingored her, and didn't tell her that I wanted to be left alone, I'm the asshole. Please, am I really the asshole for not wanting to be poked at?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
RgDqszu5kAgySLvm5dPUNh9krHtWjl6Y
|
a8dex3
|
{
"description": "taking all of our presents away",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for taking all of our presents away?
|
So I go into my 11 yr old's bedroom to remind her that she needed to clean her room. There was something on her floor that I had never seen before. Picked it up and see there is a small piece of wrapping paper attached. Given the colors, and from what I could make out of the design, it was the paper that my presents were wrapped in. When I asked her about this item, she claimed she found it in the TV stand drawer. I absolutely knew better because *wrapping paper*! But she kept up with the denial.
So I go and take *EVERYTHING* that was under the tree. While taking the presents to my bedroom, I asked about the wrapping paper, she gets it from under her dresser. I guess seeing me take everything away, made her realize I was serious, and she fessed up.
I dont know at this point if I will bring the presents back out or donate them. I dont want to punish the 10 yr old for the 11 yr olds behavior. I had warned them both the night everything was put under the tree that if I find holes in the wrapping paper (to try and see what's in them), that I would take their gifts, since in years past the 11 yr old has been caught trying to peek by poking holes. This goes beyond putting holes in the wrapping paper....
(Side note, I took everything BEFORE being 100% that it was the 11 yr old.)
AITA for taking away all of the Christmas gifts?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
Voups1b8DbBi32VWdpiTgLemrqPbbhqu
|
agab17
|
{
"description": "leaving my flatmate before he left me with the lease to myself",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for leaving my flatmate before he left me with the lease to myself
|
So I thought that my flatmate and I are like family. I do heaps of chores for him like cooking meals and unpaid babysitting for his son. Actually his son is lovely and I spend untold amount of time with him. When my flatmate had been sick or hung over or hospitalized, I've always been good to take the kid for a day for the dad to recover.
So one day we have the smallest of all arguments. Essentially I'm unhappy that dad let's his son ignore other adults and go see daddy when he doesn't like what he's been told by another adult. I call it "daddy appeal court". My friend disagrees and ignores me, and I get upset, but I hold my emotions in check and keep it to myself. I take 24 hours to myself and I don't respond to texts for a day.
So my friend, instead of offering to discuss the issue or apologize, just says that he's moving out in three months. He thinks this is enough time for me to figure stuff out. The thing is, three months time is Christmas/New Years, and I have vacation plans. And movers and realters will be the least available. Also November - December is my busiest work time. I told this to me friend, and it's definitely not OK for me.
Our lease is due up in the end of February, but the landlord is willing to let us go since it's our second year. I ask my friend what he'll do if he can't find a new tenant for January. Will he be responsible for his end of the rent until the end of the lease? Three times I ask, and three times he deflects the question. Obviously I'll be stuck with triple rent (me, dad and son is three rooms) if he goes and no one fills his place.
So after a bit of probing, I find the reason he's so stuck on December is that he found the perfect new place, but he needs to move on the end of December as that's when the place is free.
So since I can't move out in November or December, and since I can't afford the potential triple rent, I move out at the end of October, which works best for me. It was a pain to do it in a rush, but it's better than being worried about starving in January.
My friend asks me if I'll pay for November and December at the old place. I tell him I can't since I need to come up with a deposit and moving fees real quick. Keep in mind that he makes 3-4 times what I do, and he gets child support. I'm also finishing a masters so I don't have a lot of extra cash lying around. I didn't plan for a sudden move now. So we're not friends anymore since I feel what he did massively betrayed our friendship and put me in a serious bind unnecessarily.
TLDR: my former close friend wanted to leave before the lease and potentially leave me with his share of the rent, so I left earlier and left him with my share of the rent.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
hfQb56llndgssXQPL8srSppmZHX5rOiz
|
ak0fco
|
{
"description": "'gaslighting' people as pranks",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 21
}
|
AITA For 'gaslighting' people as pranks?
|
So this is weird. I was reading a comment section on a news website that said a certain politician was 'gaslighting'. Curious, i googled it.
Apparently this is when manipulative sociopaths try to make people doubt their sanity by telling them false things happened, or by telling them true things didnt happen, correct? Heres the issue.
I do this all the time, to coworkers, to friends, and to family. I find it funny, like a prank.
Like telling my coworker our boss wanted to see him the next morning, and then when our boss tells him there was no meeting i would convince him that i never said what i said and he believes me.
Or telling my girlfriend to get me bluebell ice cream, then when she does ill tell her i asked her for ben and jerrys. Then when she gets me b&j ill tell her i asked for bluebell.
Or calling my friend and asking him where hes at, pretending that we had plans and were going to hang out all day when in reality no such plans existed.
I told all of this to my online friends and they say that im abusing people whereas i think this is just a standard bait and switch inside joke i have.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 21,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 21
}
|
WRONG
|
LBvPAAeneUwnrWvwN3Y9EC7IO1b7upSd
|
b42cue
|
{
"description": "taking one of the employees off the schedule",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for taking one of the employees off the schedule?
|
Backstory, my “fast dining” restaurant that is “Mexican themed” just lost its general manager so it is just the shift supervisors there. I am now making the schedule, one is in charge of ordering inventory, one is doing catering worksheets, and the other is day-to-day business. Recently, we had our main night cook put his two weeks in. We were going to fire him because of his attendance back in December, but I talked to him and told him hey I know you are young but this is a job not a place to hang out stop calling out and it worked. He has been written up twice for this. For the last few weeks, he has been calling out and making some shitty excuse like “my grandma fell” or “i have a rash on my arm” or “I’m puking” or “I have a lot of schoolwork” you get the point. I give leeway to the high schoolers because I was in their shoes once and I don’t want any mad parents coming my way, and they are usually good hardworking kids. I would usually believe him, as he has a rough life as it seems already, but he came in on his lunch at school on the days he called out! So today, he was supposed to be my cook and he called out and didn’t give an explanation, just told me he could not make it in. So I said fine, that tells me that yesterday was your last day and he got pissed and started backtracking and I said I have to go and ended the call. It is easier for me to cover his shifts in advance versus calling someone same-day and trying to get people to come in. Now, all the high schoolers (they all go to school together) are mad at me and the shift supervisors for doing this, and saying that his new job didn’t start until his two weeks were over, and he needs the money because he has to help his girlfriends parents with rent because he lives there. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
S99t8DNzw5nLvhALmlPNiiwx8G3GqRJw
|
au78lx
|
{
"description": "telling my friend about her ex's affair",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my friend about her ex's affair (also my friend)?
|
Ok, so I (M 22) find myself in this weird situation. Kind of immoral I guess.
I got two friends, one girl and one guy. They recently broke up (they had a hard time with each other for a couple of months). Let's call the girl Jane and the boy Joe, both aged 21-23.
The situation: Joe had an affair with another girl for a long period of time. That's the reason he broke up with Jane. The thing is, Jane doesn't know this. She believes he broke up because they grew apart, and is having a hard time understanding this.
Joe told me the entire story of his affair, but doesn't want me to let Jane know it.
Me and Joe are good friends. Me and Jane are good friends... Really good recently.
Joe is not treating Jane's pleas well of having talks, etc. post breakup. It's making her frustrated because she doesn't know the reason for it, but she just wants to move on. She is telling me that "if he just had an affair it would be much easier"...
Joe and the girl from the affair is starting to form a couple now, secretly. Because they don't want Jane to know to fast. I, as a good friend of Jane, is wanting her to know because I want her to be able to move on and be happy.
The question is: Am I the asshole if tell Jane that Joe had an affair?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
kW27HlfAqILw5gf1R1yhpQCMEkPF16U1
|
b3jj8z
|
{
"description": "breaking up with her for lying about her age",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA for breaking up with her for lying about her age?
|
I’m in a newish relationship. It was very long ago that we decided to be exclusive. I’m 27 and she told me she was 29. After we decided to become exclusive she told me she had something silly to tell me. That she was actually 36. I honestly couldn’t tell and she looks great for her age, but it’s not really silly to me.
First off it’s really shitty that she lied to me. I have no idea what else she’s lying about. Second and more importantly, I want to have children some day. Not that soon either. Her being 36 puts a serious clock on that. It sucks, but it’s just a hard biological truth.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 29,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 30,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
GzRZKdcTlrKnYuqXNYiovtrMjZXb1XaK
|
b2mlig
|
{
"description": "insinuating my mom is ignorant",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for insinuating my mom is ignorant?
|
Just happened in the car now. My mom is Muslim, Black, and immigrated to the US around 27 years ago. She reads a lot of fake stuff on facebook and we’re we’re talking about the tragic New Zealand terrorist attack. She said something that sounded fake about the attack and I asked her where she got her info, “CNN?”
She then said CNN is fake news and I said that sounded a lot like trump. I then said that anyone who believed in him and his ideas are ignorant. And then she basically said that trump is right and speaks the truth. I was taken aback. I honestly never expected this from her. I told her trump hates people like her, a person of color, Muslim, AND AN IMMIGRANT. But she wasn’t having it.
She has this idea, that honestly a lot of people have, that i should give my parents respect regardless of what they do. In my situation, I’ve been verbally and physically abused by my dad and verbally abused my mom. Anyway, she then started calling me a disrespectful bitch and some other unkind things in her language. It went from zero to 60 real quick. She was livid after that ignorant comment, she basically accused me of deeply insulting her.
When I said that ignorant comment, I didn’t know she really believed him, I thought she was saying wild things to get a reaction.
TL;DR My mom said she was a trump supporter and I said anyone who believes him is ignorant. She’s VERY angry that I insulted her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
e1mWbFLZjnfHurTsbWzH05EPaIdD4a7r
|
ayd4z3
|
{
"description": "fantasizing about another man while married",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for fantasizing about another man while married?
|
I grew up in a very rural conservative area, went to an equally conservative college then married a nice Christian boy. My life has been the perfect American dream. I stay home, cook and clean. My contribution to our relationship is being a homemaker. I can’t say that I dreamed for much more than this, I am quite happy as my guy comes from a rich family. But, I was constantly getting bored during the day. I found myself watching youtube videos, talking to my parents and taking long baths to fill my time. That is, until I started going to a charitable group that helps kids in under served communities. I met some friends, found purpose and had something to do during the day.
At this charity event, I started talking to this man who is also married. He has a much broader build than my husband and more defined masculine features. Apparently, he has some kids that needed to be taken care of during the day since his divorce. He works from home, so he wasn’t asking for much. More just for a female presence to be there. I asked for my husband’s permission that night if it would be okay to watch for his kids sometimes for some extra money. He was fine with it, no issues and suggested that we invite the man to church with us sometime. After all, men and women can be friends and to suggest otherwise would be sexist.
Anyways, when I go over to his house to baby sit, I have some ungodly thoughts about him. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love that my husband provides an amazing life for me. But it feels like I am taken over with butterflies in certain parts of my body. I have done some research and found out that there are several different kinds of love, such as lust, romantic and friend. I feel like I have friend and romantic love for my husband and lust love for this man. I have not acted on this but I have decided to take myself out of this situation because I feared cheating on my loyal, kind, nurturing husband. I have been feeling guilty about this internal conflict. So am I the asshole for fantasizing about another man while married?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ysXp2gg57B2w1DClVJ7dsRMnVrMNsx8s
|
afyizo
|
{
"description": "\"fact checking\" my so and his friend",
"pronormative_score": 22,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for "fact checking" my SO and his friend?
|
Disclaimer: I haven't used the internet to fact check them in over a year as it's not worth the argument.
I don't think my SO or his friend are dumb, just definitely misinformed on many things. They both confronted me lately about how I'm basically an insufferable "know it all" and they feel humiliated by my fact checking. I'll admit I have PREVIOUSLY been pretty bad about it, especially over year ago. I like to know the truth about things and am full of pretty useless information, as I think most people who grew up with the internet are. 99% of the time I was/am right, and the other 1% I take as a learning experience and apologize for questioning them. But, when I call them out on something that isn't true they feel like I am questioning their intelligence and get highly offended. I stopped whipping out my phone to show them why they are wrong and usually just tell them what I already know.
The last argument was on if blood is blue when it's still in your body (it's not). A lot of our arguments are over dumb stuff like this. I'm not trying to belittle them, I'm just trying to educate them so they don't look silly when these topics come up around other people, as they both seem insecure about their intelligence.
When I haven't "checked" them in the past they will go on to tell misinformation to others and get corrected, to which they will ask me "Did you know that? Why didn't you tell me that?" It seems like either way I'm an asshole to them. I'm either a know it all, or I want to watch them burn.
AITA???
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 22,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 3
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 22,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
RIGHT
|
toIEGfX20RwENKJ0AA8sq8OrdzCI8nDV
|
9zs520
|
{
"description": "not participating in all family activities like going to the movies or going out for a meal",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not participating in all family activities like going to the movies or going out for a meal?
|
I’m the father of four kids and in the last year I’ve realized that I’m much happier if I say no sometimes. To clarify I’m a good husband and Father who does my share of the cooking, cleaning, driving, and parenting. Sometimes though I just like to relax instead of squeezing in one more thing, and because of this my wife is giving me a hard time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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