id
stringlengths 32
32
| post_id
stringlengths 6
6
| action
dict | title
stringlengths 4
300
| text
stringlengths 0
10.8k
| post_type
stringclasses 2
values | label_scores
dict | label
stringclasses 5
values | binarized_label_scores
dict | binarized_label
stringclasses 2
values |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
l2anJyYD2JafzSUepwmbE8Zwe7CuWhyq
|
ap1h0b
|
{
"description": "getting upset after my girlfriend blue balled me and then laughed at me",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting upset after my girlfriend blue balled me and then laughed at me?
|
For context, we’ve been in a relationship for 6 months now. I’m a guy and she’s (obviously) a girl.
I was on the phone with my girlfriend, and we were going to play a game of D&D soon. We were waiting for the DM to finish some homework so it was just me and her. She started talking dirty to me and as a result I got hard and was horny. About halfway through this the DM texted us and said he was ready. After I told her that I got hard, she erupts into laughter. I asked her why and she explains how she’s laughing at me for how easy it is for her to turn me on and she had no intention to turn me on for her benefit. And I was really hurt by that. It felt as if, I described to her, she fondled me and then laughed right in my face when I naturally got erect. She apologized and told me she was sorry and would never do it again.
We left the call together so that we could get into a group call with the DM to play. I was about 20 seconds late because I was trying to clear my mind and stop being upset. So I got in and they’re both laughing but immediately shut up. I hear my girlfriend say “oh, nevermind.” And the laughter stops. I ask what they’re laughing at and the DM informs me that they were laughing at me behind my back because she blue balled me. And this hurt me in a multitude of ways. A minute ago she told me she would never do something like that again and now she’s laughing at me with my friend behind my back? And I’m not particularly comfortable with her telling people that we dirty talk over the phone either, but that was minor.
So while the DM was getting ready she could tell I was upset and we had a text conversation that went like this:
Her: are you and I okay?
Me: I’m sorry, It’s just you said you wouldn’t do it again and then you went and laughed at me behind my back immediately with (the DM) and I don’t want to start a fight but I’m just hurt
Her: how is that doing it again?
Me: i dont care about the blue balling i just dont like being laughed at by my own girlfriend
Her: I wasnt laughing at you??
Me: "we were laughing at you behind your back" -(the DM) and you said "oh nevermind" the moment i came into vc
Her: (the DM) says stupid shit, I was just telling him about the blue balling and didnt think you wanted to hear about it. I’m sorry. Eggshells (saying she has to “walk on eggshells around me”)
Me: so you were laughing at me behind my back. It’s whatever. Just let it go.
Her: I wasnt laughing at you behind your back.
Anyways, this just frustrated me further because it’s as if she’s totally lacking any self awareness? How is that not laughing at me behind my back? I felt totally disrespected and I never thought she would do something to me like this.
That’s as much detail as I can provide.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
LyFaiPSnDUaJuaV1Kb9JVVNIH1qnPhwn
|
9tq6sp
|
{
"description": "pushing my boyfriend to decide",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for pushing my boyfriend to decide? [28F/36M]
|
I've been with my boyfriend for two years. He floats between the houses of different family members and is looking for a job after some health issues. I had to move for a job which he supported and I offered to pay for him to come with me but he has refused.
Recently I grew frustrated with him saying "one day" to moving here, to kids, to marriage. Then often sounding like he only said "one day" to avoid losing me. He won't move until he gets a job, gets fit, etc. But life won't ever be perfect.
At the advice of my therapist (who said to give him one month then it's over) I applied pressure. I told him to give me a date by which he would ready to move here because there needs to be one. He accused me of giving an ultimatum, said it reflected poorly on me, and has been teetering between avoidant of talking about it and outright nasty. When I lean towards breaking up he gives me what I want (like the date I asked for, but no real substance to it) so I stay, but after the last few weeks I'm not sure if I want to be with him - the relationship feels like it's moving backwards. I'm tired of being called a bitch over this.
AITA for putting pressure on my unemployed boyfriend of 2 years to commit to a time to move in after growing tired of hearing "one day"? Is he an asshole for saying he will do it one day but only after [excuse] (which is an ever changing and growing list)?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
8gs7I9pnZG7IX0LGuzRCY41MbN9fvwaC
|
a8424a
|
{
"description": "telling my friend off",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friend off?
|
Hi. This is the first time I'm posting on this thread. I really need your help with this. I am a very bad writer so please try to bear with me.
I am a senior in high school. I am involved with basically all things music. I am in chorus and I am the lead role in our upcoming musical. I have this friend (I am uncomfortable using names so let's call him Josh) who is in all of these things with me. This friend suffers from pretty sever depression and I'm kind of the one he goes to whenever he feels down, and I am always happy to cheer him up.
Now, my best friend in the entire world (we'll call him Jack) decided to join theater senior year just to try something new before he leaves for college. He is the preppiest guy I have ever met; he runs cross country and plays tennis and wears only Vineyard Vines, etc. Jack has just been there with me throughout my life and we have so much fun.
However, I learned that Josh is like IN LOVE with Jack, even though Jack is straight. And Jack knows this. Naturally, Jack feels a little uncomfortable talking to and being around Josh. Josh took the hint and eventually backed off, but still loves him from afar. And Jack continues to try to avoid/ignore Josh at all times.
He keeps coming up to me and talking to me about how much he is in love with Jack even though he is an asshole to him sometimes. I naturally try to cheer him up and tell him that everything is okay, but he never listens. He just keeps complaining that Jack is being a dick and that he will never love him back. And I never know how to respond to something like that so I just try to change the subject.
Auditions for theater roll around and Jack gets a pretty good role and I am happy for him, even though it is not the biggest role, but he is still grateful for it. Josh on the other hand doesn't get anything. Like NOTHING. Full blown ensemble. And of course he's pissed because he has been so loyal to the school's theater department and they go and stick him in the background for his last show. He was so upset the day the results came out and everyday after that he kept complaining about how the cast sucks and that our director doesn't know what she's doing and that he's going to quit and join crew. I always say the same thing "It's going to be okay Josh, it's only high school." He never listens and continues being sad.
Then one time he told me that he was mad at Jack because he was fighting with him to get my attention at one of the rehearsals. I had no idea what he was talking about and he essentially told me that he was jealous that I was spending more time with Jack than with him. I said that I was not intentionally doing so and that I would hang out with him a bit more from now on.
Now for part in which I decided to end our friendship.
We did a Secret Santa for one of our chorus ensembles and I got Josh. I got him a very nice gift, wacky socks which he absolutely LOVES and a Game Stop gift card so that he could buy more games for his Switch. My parents even got him a gas gift card to "repay" him for all the times he had given me rides and things like that. In my opinion, it was a thoughtful gift and he absolutely lit up when he opened it. He was very happy.
But we had rehearsal later that day and after rehearsal I said goodbye to him. He ignored me. Flat out ignored me and walked right past me. I got pissed because I know that I had done nothing wrong. I texted him saying "what's your problem?" He said "I hate cast so fucking much" I said, "Okay, but why did you ignore me when I said goodbye?" He said "Because I'm really fucking depressed and I couldn't find my wallet and I thought I left it in the bathroom when I changed." I said "so you take it out on me?" He said "You have no idea how shitty I feel right now. I literally feel so bad I want to slash my fucking wrists open again and I'm not going to but life isn't fucking fair and I'm literally so fucking angry and upset about this show." I said "look I get that but none of it is my fault. I shouldn't have to get ignored because you feel shitty. And I'm not spending my last musical feeling bad for you the entire time. I want to have fun and I would rather be with the people (Jack) who want to do the same. I get you are upset about your part and want to do crew but could you have at least sucked it up for the first two rehearsals instead of dragging everyone down with you?" He responded "You don't have to talk to me I'm just fine sitting by myself don't worry about it." I said "omg this is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not spending my last show listening to you beat yourself up." He said "Then don't listen to me" I said "Whatever. You enjoy your present though" And that was the end of the conversation.
Am I an asshole for what I said/did? What would you have done in this situation? Let me know. Thanks for your time.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IgTGXwH50dQoiekhjkKhVJPThQS3k6by
|
awzei3
|
{
"description": "not taking my girlfriend to her hair appointment",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not taking my girlfriend to her hair appointment?
|
My girlfriend and I live in a ski town, well over an hour from any major city. She had made a hair appointment, months ago, with one of her friends, in the major city 100 miles away. A couple of days before the appointment, we both talked about how bad the weather forecast was looking for that weekend.
The day of the appointment came, and my main concern was catching the rad snow brought on by the storm, and I hoped she would cancel her appointment, due to the unsafe driving conditions. I was skiing with friends before she was even out of bed, and by the time i was home, she had left in treacherous driving weather. The travel time to the hair appointment in a storm like this doubles, to a three or more hour drive. I am under the impression, that she expected me to take the day drip with her, although it was clear the day before I wouldn't be driving with her, I had plans to ski with friends.
To my credit: I asked her to consider canceling the appointment, or consider heading to the appointment the night before. She knew the storm was coming and made a conscious decision not to cancel the appointment. She also made a conscious decision to hang out with fiends the night before, instead of leaving for town ahead of the storm. I also don't think i should be expected to give up one of few great ski days and 8 hours for her hair appointment.
To her credit: I am a much more relaxed snow driver, and more experienced. She also is going on a big trip and would like her hair to look nice, and this is her last chance to get it done. Lastly, a lot of the reason we live in a ski town is due to my hobbies, although she also took a job here and moved with me, I feel somewhat responsible to help her with trips like these. Should I?
It is blizzard conditions outside, and I'm starting to get worried she is in a wreck! AITA?!?!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
PjQXgt3pcCqncmdZtpfKNmq7gr2hBIFy
|
arua0y
|
{
"description": "not having sex/ pleasuring my boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for not having sex/ pleasuring my boyfriend?
|
I'm 20 and my boyfriend is 22 and have been dating for 2 years. I started taking the anti-depressant/ anxiety medication escitalopram which killed my already low sex drive. My boyfriend and I are still virgins but when I still had desire, we would mess around and such. He asks me every day, several times a day to give him oral sex or a hand job. I say no about 9 out of 10 times, and its extremely annoying constantly being asked. He has also started begging for sex, which I absolutely refuse. We have tried several times to get me to enjoy these activities again but I get zero pleasure. I can't imagine losing my virginity and only feeling pain from it.
He gropes me out of nowhere around 5x a day and only stops after the tenth "no" or if I pry myself away. He takes at least 45 minutes to orgasm, which is very tiring for my arms (and nearly impossible to give oral due to my severe TMJ).
He is the love of my life, but I feel violated due to his behavior. Is it selfish of me to ignore his needs and tell him no? Should I start pleasuring him more often? Is it wrong to deny him sex after two years of dating?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
7m9a23oAQ6lgWu1KA5Ax6ktu2JYzCLhV
|
b2asxk
|
{
"description": "not giving them money",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for not giving them money?
|
I tried to write this out yesterday but I guess I was too wordy lol.
Alright long story short:
Due to some issues last year me and SO were given the opportunity to crash at a friends to avoid being homeless.
We did not pay rent as it wasn’t asked of us but we cleaned the whole house regularly, did their chores, and provided food for ourselves and for them. We made ourselves be scarce and unless invited to hang out with them we stayed in our designated area and avoided using any of their utilities. We even stayed locked in our room for hours to make things easier on them to avoid any conflict with their extended family.
When we ended up leaving we were in a better spot financially as SO came into some money and we offered essentially back rent and then some. We offered what their roommate was paying at the time. We offered countless times in different ways and each time they declined it.
Due to them declining we rebudgeted and allocated those funds to something else. Fast forward to us leaving suddenly they started demanding money like we never offered them any. We told them why we rebudgeted and we would still pay them back if they wanted however it would be in chunks rather than one huge payment.
Well after that conversation they decided it wasn’t good enough and started spreading lies and rumors about us. It got to the point with what they were saying that I was afraid to let my guard down. So I cut off contact and encouraged SO to do the same.
Would I be the asshole if I didn’t pay them like they’ve been demanding? Honestly if they reached out and apologized to SO about how hurtful they were I would ignore what they said about me and most likely pay them back for their kindness. I’m not sure what to do.
To be clear: when we moved in to begin with they did not expect any money or any help with food but we offered food we bought with food stamps and tried to offer them money throughout the time we were there. They accepted the food but declined any money. So we did our best to pay them with keeping the house spotless and such.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZWnDWsSBarT1DHyjDpchTRt8gSLg1jPy
|
arz792
|
{
"description": "telling my work friend his partner is cheating",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for telling my work friend his partner is cheating?
|
My boss drunkenly admitted to me and my partner that he has been sleeping with our work friend’s partner. My partner and co-worker (WF) work in one department and I am in another, they do not report to my boss. My boss has half-truthed to WF that it happened one time, but admitted to my partner and I that it has been an ongoing thing.
I want to tell WF the whole truth but I’m worried about retaliation from my boss. He has assured me nothing will happen to me, and he doesn’t seem like a vengeful person but you never know what will happen when emotions and stress run high. We are a very small business and my boss will almost surely be fired for this. He has also made suicidal comments to me before so I also worry that if things blow up that he may go as far as hurting himself, but I’m also aware that it’s possible he’s made those comments to manipulate me into staying quiet.
My partner has offered to tell WF the whole truth so that I don’t have to fear retaliation since he doesn’t report to my boss, but that also means waiting until they see each other again. I’ve seen WF twice including today since I’ve found out, and I can’t look him in the eye. My stomach knots when he talks to me.
So WIBTA to speak up? Or is it none of my business? We all know what tends to happen to the messenger.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
rO3FdE7GLzY4Jf2nlMmjeiWgLTpk8EM8
|
ajjf08
|
{
"description": "getting upset at my boyfriend for refusing to believe he physically hurt me",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for getting upset at my boyfriend for refusing to believe he physically hurt me?
|
For context: I tend to run really warm. I can also be extremely sensitive to touch, especially when I'm sick, when just wearing clothes hurts.
Last night after my boyfriend got home from work, when we were hanging out at the kitchen counter, he put his hands underneath my shirt and onto my sides. It was really cold, unexpected, and painful, so I yelped and dove to my right to get away. He didn't let go so I had to pull hard. I was in panic mode and just wanted *away*. I think I hurt his hand doing so, but I'm not sure. He says "Oh come on, it wasn't that cold!" I told him that yes, it was cold, and yes, it did hurt, and instead of denying that it hurt me I told him he should have just said "sorry" and moved on. He says I'm overreacting, that he just won't touch me ever again, then leaves to the bedroom.
I was shocked, because it wasn't what I expected. But this has happened before. I'll complain about something physical he did, and he'll say "it wasn't that hard / cold / bad" in response, instead of apologizing. I know that if I accidentally hurt someone, I'd apologize, not try to convince them it didn't hurt. Is that unusual? Am I the asshole for getting mad at him?
He avoided me the rest of the night, until he found me crying and apologized. Not for anything specific, just "I'm sorry" while he held me. Today, after visiting him at work, he told me yesterday's weirdness was my fault, that if I felt differently then he won't touch me again. That really hurt, because I thought his apology yesterday was him understanding what he did was hurtful. Now, as I'm typing this, I'm wondering if I'm being a pansy by getting hurt by a little cold?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
f7S8hMeGRtcomarZLNgySw8NRsgwEJ6h
|
a5za0p
|
{
"description": "basically abandoning my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for basically abandoning my best friend?
|
I had a friend since 6th grade named Josh, he was a really cool and fun guy and we became best friends all through middle school. Towards the end of 8th grade my mom was planning on moving out of our house. We did during the summer and I couldn't go to the high school all my friends including Josh was going to. During the summer I played Fortnite with him a lot then it just became boring, So I stopped playing. I've only played with him once so far when school was in session. He told me how lonely he was and it made me feel so bad. Did I mess up?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
caXKv5MZlTeuDwciwHeyeg5l94l5iijs
|
9zeo75
|
{
"description": "ratting out classmates who used teacher's login info to \"fix\" their attendance",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for ratting out classmates who used teacher's login info to "fix" their attendance
|
This happened in high school. Some classmates had gotten hold of a teacher's username and password for the system where they registered attendance for class, and used this to improve their own and others' attendance score. A friend told me this in strict confidence (they were improving her attendance score too), and I mentioned it to a teacher. My classmates were expelled for a week (but no lasting consequences).
Oh, and attendance did not impact your overall grade, but the school would write the number of days of non-attendance on your high school diploma for future employers to see.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
cUENQT4Kg6vvesEFWx6TgudtWfUlJZ2i
|
9yqwfm
|
{
"description": "teasing a friend about her sexuality",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for teasing a friend about her sexuality?
|
So I have this friend ive known for about a year in college on my course, she's super cool usually but when she's drunk keeps trying to touch us up and make out with us which is funny (We're all girls) so we tease her about it a lot joking that she's a lesbian (not that there would be anything wrong with that, our friend group is just like that with teasing)
Anyway even though it winds her up we kept doing it because we thought she was actually cool with it and she gives as she gets so it's fine. Then one day we're watching Supergirl and the lesbian character comes on screen so we joke that she's her role model and ask if she's going to get a haircut like that (Literally not even saying anything too bad) and she way overreacts and leaves, then some of her other friends come for us and say we should stop saying that when she's asked us to stop but we didn't realize she was serious we thought she was just going along with it like when we all make fun of each other.
I'm pretty sure i'm not the asshole here and she's just overreacting but I want to get you guys opinion god even reading this is embarrassing it's such dumb petty shit and it's become a way bigger deal than it should be.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
WRONG
|
ma4VMhLrf5gKHJSiLVA2Fs3NkRQ5s6aX
|
axux0w
|
{
"description": "wanting to use a tipi on my album cover",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to use a tipi on my album cover?
|
My very small band is putting out our first record, we went out to a beautiful campsite and took a ton of photos to get some shots for the album cover, promos, etc.
The best picture we've gotten far and away is of a sunset with the skeleton of a tipi in the foreground. It's just a really awesome picture, but I'm afraid by incorporating the tipi on the album cover that I'll give the impression that we're trying to exploit a common Native American stereotype.
The last thing I want to do with this album is offend anyone, and I really wish we had a better alternative, but at the same time I think it's a really special picture and paying tribute if anything.
Would love to get some third party input. Thank you.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 2
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
MVNLISvoVifihqHLXQZDlouhN0J9UQrH
|
aupyf8
|
{
"description": "being upset with my friend for lacking boundaries with my boyfriend? update",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset with my friend for lacking boundaries with my boyfriend? Update
|
Thank you so much for your comments
Something I wanted to clear up, some people commented that my friend wanted to bone my boyfriend but I don’t believe that. She wants to save herself for marriage and sees her virginity as proof that she’s more pure than other women that have slept around.
Others said my boyfriend should have been the one to set boundaries with her. Since this is a kinda new relationship (we’ve been dating for a few months) as well as my first, I didn’t want him to think I was a jealous person vs feeling insecure. I felt more comfortable approaching her since we’ve known each other longer than they have. She could also do what she does to him to any of her many *single* male friends, and it would be welcomed wholeheartedly. With the exception of one dude my boyfriend told me didn’t like her because he said she “stinks” and “seems like the type to stir up drama.” I remember thinking he just doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.
Today my boyfriend was cold towards me, holding me at arms length and when I tried to kiss him he straightened up so I couldn’t reach. He wasn’t in the mood and trying to get him to talk when he’s angry is like trying to get blood out of a stone. I’m scared. I have depression, I’m taking antidepressants, going to therapy, yet what I feel for him is what gets me out of bed. He’s a great person, they both are. I can’t stop crying, I know your first is rarely there forever but I feel like we breathed life into this relationship and it’s dying and I’m just watching helplessly.
When I confronted my friend about it she looked cornered and uncomfortable. She was wearing his sweater, but that’s just because she has wardrobe malfunctions with her shirt buttons straining against her chest, and she’s always being told to cover up. She has a jacket but it’s too heavy to wear around in school. My boyfriend is a furnace and only wears sweaters to school even in the dead of winter, so she just borrows his. Despite knowing that, seeing it today made me so upset. I got a lot of advice yesterday to keep my cool, and I really wanted to believe she didn’t mean any harm so I tried to phrase the question in a non-accusatory way. I said “Hey, what was up with Saturday?” She said she didn’t invite me because I “didn’t have to be there” and class started so I had to go back to my seat.
It hurts because I really thought this girl was my friend, we’d stay up for hours talking after school, we have tons of inside jokes and hang out and listen to each other complain. I can’t stop thinking about how I never would have done this to her. I hate this situation, I hate feeling like this, I hate that I loved them and it was like they both chose to hit me where it hurts. Unhappy update but I guess I can only hope things get better from now on.
Previous: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/auanne/aita_for_being_upset_with_my_friend_for_lacking/
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1XiIfsatORtVvaLqfV6tDJ9klcbktPpt
|
9zj87v
|
{
"description": "wanting to go to bed and sleep at a reasonable time",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to go to bed and sleep at a reasonable time?
|
Wife won’t go to bed before 12 EVER. Tonight, I tried to encourage her to start getting ready at 11 because she takes a long-ass time to get ready for bed. She said I’m being controlling and so on. But when I go to bed first, she just wakes me up when she comes in. Moreover, she doesn’t even want to do anything useful or important- she just wants to watch “one more episode” of Suits. I’m a light sleeper and she knows it. She points to all the times I’ve kept her awake as to why it’s fine she doesn’t go to bed when I’d prefer her to but I have real trouble getting to sleep, in general, and it’s only made worse by being overtired. The same kind of overtired she makes me when keeping me up until after 12 every single night.
Tbh, I don’t even know if I am the asshole and am open to the idea of me getting this one wrong.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
lnxhhOGjqHyQ4alOvU1gGMSfmdrd5y3O
|
a8r2oh
|
{
"description": "asking a masseuse to cut the small talk",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for asking a masseuse to cut the small talk?
|
This is for my wife. We were talking about going to get massages and she brought up that she doesnt like when the masseuse starts with all the small talk during the massage. She wants to relax and just enjoy it.
Basically, what she'd like to know is, is there a certain way she should approach the situation or WSBTA either way?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
gtBl0kmD7EGC4B507W8mu7aptAwBZUAe
|
b6p4bj
|
{
"description": "wanting to stop being friends with an autistic kid",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting to stop being friends with an autistic kid
|
For clarification I don’t hate this guy or anything I just don’t want to be friends with him anymore
I’m in high school and have a solid friend group that I joined at the start of this year but last year I had a much smaller friend group of around 5 people with this small but very outgoing autistic kid (AU). We were good friends last year and had similar interests but over time I started to grow out of those things and at the start of this school year me and the rest of the friend group merged with this other one and all was good except AU wasn’t interested with the same things everyone else was.
We were all laughing about memes and marvel while he was still focusing on stuff like Pokemon. I have been friends with a good few autistic kids during my life so I know what they’re like and what they struggle with but now I’m needing to grow out of these sort of things like Pokemon so started thinking about other friend groups that AU could join but over time I don’t know why but he started being extremely clingy.
We are all choosing groups for a school project, he has to be with me. Picking teams for sports, he has to be in the same team as me. I don’t hate him for this but it’s being stopping me for hanging out with the people I want to. I felt like I’ve had enough and everyone else in my friend group is done with him to.
Everyone is sick of his sh*t but I’m trying to keep my cool and try to find him a new friend group. The problem is that the longer that he’s around me the more annoyed I get at him and know I’m wondering if I’m in the wrong because I’m actually starting to be really mean to AU such as completely ignoring him but every now and then he guilt trips me by saying I’m his best friend.
I don’t want to be like this and I’m starting to feel like I’m being to harsh on him but I’ve started to be really stressed about the situation, so AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
hIQrADDpO1c43tEDqc9nWbWrNWxtWcJo
|
b7h73s
|
{
"description": "allowing my direct reports to text me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
Aita for allowing my direct reports to text me?
|
Hello all,
I (30m) help run the family business. My wife (31f) has weird hours, in that she works 4 days on, 5 off. I try and structure my time at work, such that I can sorta be home when she is to maximize our time together (she suffers from depression and this helps her I think). We recently promoted someone to manage the restaurant, which requires a ton of professional judgement that isnt learned overnight. I typically receive 15 texts/week when I'm not in restaurant. Many of these texts come from the assistant manager we promoted while she develops her skillset, some being relevant, and some being unimportant. This irks my wife, because she believes that home time is home time, despite me structuring my work so I can maximize my home time. I've confirmed shes not jealous of this person specifically, just that she doesnt believe I should be bothered if I'm not at work, and that she perceives she comes after work in my eyes.
My explanation is that it's the family's business, and as a single store, we need to know if product is running low, or equipment breaks, as happens on occassion. My thought process is that being home early, but responding to a 30 second text or a couple phone calls a few times a week is better than not being home at all. I've since asked managers to try to double check critical items at the start of their shift and communicate issues in one text rather than adhoc.
Imo, this could be avoided if I actually worked 40-50 hours per week, but in the past this has caused strife in our relationship.
This all came to a head when my wife was supposed to work this week, but called in sick for the shifts because of her mood. She wanted me to stay home as well, but I obviously couldnt. She ended up checking my phone while I was showering one day, saw texts from my employees during times when she should have been working anyway, and lost it over the fact that I received texts reminding me to bring uniforms in for a new hire, and that a piece of equipment broke down, which "distracted my attention from our time together".
Aita because I allow my staff to text or call me despite the fact that it bothers my wife? I have a business to run, and believe this to be the most efficient way to run it when I'm not in store. I've recently made the asst manager salaried and she takes care of many of the issues other managers bring forth, but she still reaches out for material issues, because I'd prefer my restaurant to run effectively.
To quantify, I spend >40 hours per week with my wife, with what amounts to typically 10-15 minutes of distraction from work.if I worked in my original career, we would likely only have 15 hours per week together.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
eP1aMzjBQH3nbwcFUMWxLkCe4K7M2ibZ
|
alng4g
|
{
"description": "confronting my gf about telling her 2 friends and 2 sisters about every major and minor event in her life",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for confronting my gf (28) about telling her 2 friends and 2 sisters about every major and minor event in her life?
|
So my gf and I(33) have a habit of checking each other's phones (whether this is right or wrong is another discussion) and i finally snapped and confronted her about this. She has a divorce finalizing and she told her sister (this I understand) and her 2 friends (of 3 years or so) about it. She has a court date next month and as soon as she found out about it guess who she told, her friends and sisters. She took one of her boys to the ER (nothing serious) and guess what? The funny thing about this one is the text she sent them looked identical to what she sent me. Apparently she copy and pasted.
Now I know you guys will say "yta" right about now but hear me out. he wanted to get bunk beds for her boys. She sat there and had a whole conversation with her older sister and her 2 friends (separate conversations). A few days later she tells me "oh I want to get the boys bunk beds" not discussing it in the least with me.
There's times she'll message or call me all excited and I'm glad she's sharing this with me only to find out she did the same with guess who her sisters and her 2 friends.
I have an older brother, younger sister and a best friend and they don't know shit. I know I know people are different and I don't expect her to be like me. But unless I'm dying or going to jail I don't tell them anything I just share it with her. I feel like we have no personal connection. That she treats me like them or sometimes worst.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
yRPWYxa8AzslMla3EVugnNHsaAPY6Jta
|
9wi24r
|
{
"description": "getting together with my ex's friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting together with my ex's friend?
|
I dated this guy for a couple months, he had introduced me to some of his friends. Later we broke up, but I enjoyed hanging out with one of his friends. I went out with him for a few times, but with no romantic/sexual intentions whatsoever. I genuinely went out with him as platonic friends. My ex found out thay we had gone out, got very angry and ordered the friend to break off any communication with me. The friend refused. We went on a few more outings before the friend confessed that he liked me. At first I thought it was very unfair to my ex, then the friend tried to calm me down by saying that their relationship was already getting weaker, they weren't much of friends as before, they were growing apart. I still felt guilty, but, long story short, we're together. Although I still feel kinda sick and disappointed in myself, even though I myself have experienced a similar situation from my ex's view, and I personally didn't take offense and didn't order my friend to break off everything. I was not going to refuse my friend's or ex's happiness because we didn't fit.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
p9hbVLMbREMGdYa6oltEoCwh4QFXXVKC
|
agy6iv
|
{
"description": "asking my so if she intentionally left the three dishes I used in the sink for me to clean",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my SO if she intentionally left the three dishes I used in the sink for me to clean?
|
A little backstory. I am the single earner in our home of 5. I work about 60 hours a week on top of a 1:40 commute each way. Today I took the day off to have some time for myself.
I really miss seeing my family so I got up early and made breakfast. My wife didn’t want the breakfast I made so she made something else.
While my wife was still in bed, to help out, cause I’m not home often, I emptied the dishwasher, got the baby up changed and dressed. Helped the other two get ready for the day. Fed the two littlest kids. Made my wife coffee, I don’t drink it cause it upsets my stomach.
Then I took out the trash and the diaper pail. My wife and I split the diaper duty every other time. But, being that I’m home and can pitch in I covered for her today. Then I walked the oldest kid to school. Which she does everyday.
When I got home I moved my car out to the street, so she wouldn’t have to when she left for the gym. Then I came inside and saw the dishes were done. All except the bowl, spoon and pan I used.
I chuckled and asked if she intentionally left them for me. Then she got upset saying “I’m not your servant” and “do you really expect me to clean up after you?” She was really aggressive about her responses.
I said, “no, I’m just surprised cause it only takes a couple seconds and I thought we were a team. I’ve been trying to pitch in all morning.” This got her really upset saying “Jesus Christ, I can’t believe you are coming after me,
Just cause you took the diaper pail out!”
I calmly relied “I am not trying to fight”. “I just thought it was inconsiderate when I’m really trying to pitch in as a team.” Left it at that.
She continued to get really upset in front of the kids. I said, “I’m not willing to argue over this”. Went and did the dishes and calmly went down stairs. She continued to yell at me as she left the house with the kids and slammed the door on the way out.
Seriously, I feel like I stepped on a land mine. I feel really uncomfortable when I’m at home. Cause there is a running theme where she tells the kids that I make things difficult on her when I’m at home. Whenever I am home, I make it a point to pitch to in everywhere I can. I also have a number of household duties we have agreed I do. I do them every day/week.
Anyway, just really frustrated.
TLDR; left dishes in the sink while walking my kid to school. Came home and all were done except mine. I had pitched in and done everything else this morning. Got yelled at for asking if my SO specifically left my dishes for me to clean up (a fork, bowl, and pan).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
utngmMdwYLlPtPM7mtMhiWWT4AFj8LGC
|
a6c17b
|
{
"description": "expecting my wife to keep her job",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for expecting my wife to keep her job?
|
Precursor: My wife has been battling depression and anxiety, which is likely exacerbated by having a stressful job (nurse), and her inability to effectively cope with things not going precisely her way.
A couple of years ago, she quit her job when she first spiraled into depression, for 6 months, she refused to seek appropriate help, would not submit to inpatient treatments, had a couple of suicide attempts, just generally a shit show of me trying to keep a roof over our heads, paying her school and other payments, leaving less than nothing for me, all the while expecting to come home from work to a corpse one day. 6 months, and some additional debt later, she managed to get it together enough to find a new job (not in a hospital, at much lower pay).
We had put a deposit on a new build house before all of the depression business, and somehow managed to procure a mortgage (likely because of the preapproval from when our finances were in good standing) We moved in shortly before she got this new job. During this time, her new job didn't really cover her share of the household expenses, so I was covering more. The debt I accrued for living expenses etc during her time off couldn't get paid down much because of this. She lasted a year before getting fired because of her generally poor attitude towards authority because they didn't want to change policies or procedures to the way she wanted to do things. Cue 8 months without a job, me footing all of the bills again, and going into more debt because all the while she's spending like she's working full time and goes bonkers if I question anything. Finally, she takes a job with the first hospital she worked at. She's 4 months in now, a miserable anxious wreck (because surprise, every single thing during every single shift doesn't go exactly her way), she still won't seek additional help other than seeing her psychologist something like twice a year, and wants to quit in order to find a low stress job.
The problem is that based on the lifestyle she in particular wants to live, we cannot afford to take in less money, as we're already drowning in interest payments. When I try and have a conversation with her about this, she complains that it's all about money with me. My compromise is that if she wants to become underemployed, she should at least pay off her school loans first, because by making less than 1/3 of what she is now (which is what she'd reasonably be able to hope for at minimum wage), she wouldn't be able to pay the debt she's (we've) accrued, and i'd end up struggling to pay both of our debts/mortgage/living costs.
All in all, I'm pretty frustrated because she is a miserable wreck because of her career choice, but because of the choices she/we made, there isn't an immediate escape plan for her, and rather than attempt to find a way to make her job work, she'd rather just give up at the first sign of adversity, and expects me to just maintain her lifestyle expectations, when we clearly need two good incomes for that.
AITA for expecting her to keep working until we can get into the black, and expecting her to change her lifestyle expectations if she wants to weave baskets or pet cats for a living?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
oCfjzvojyWskd1Os8lEElTsXaghqvxT9
|
9y9xq9
|
{
"description": "standing my ground",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for standing my ground
|
So my boyfriend is not very into the idea of celebrating christmas with my family. The first year we were together we celebrated it with our own families because I was still in the closet, and the year after we did it at his parent's house. His brother and his wife alternates and so I assumed we would do it at my parents' house this christmas, but he's very reluctant. We talked a little about it a few minutes ago (he went to bed, because he got stressed about it) but initially his argument was that me and my family don't have traditions "I didn't even know you celebrated christmas" and I said yes we're different and we don't watch the same movie year after year and maybe we only eat one christmas traditional dish (the porridge thing because it's fun), take pictures and open presents, but we're a different family and of course it's going to be different. And then he said but where are we even going to sleep, like one of your sisters don't even have a bedroom. And that part is true, but he's just so reluctant to the whole idea. Am I the asshole for being so stubborn about celebrating it with my own family this year? He's my first bf, but he and his siblings are all over thirty so this is not a teen who misses his family. Maybe he does, but I think he should give and take.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
pVGHRThrOnFWW6pYSCZjtwM6hl15mhpu
|
b1yerz
|
{
"description": "being mad at my classmate for making empty promises and screwing me over because of it",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad at my classmate for making empty promises and screwing me over because of it
|
I feel so justified, but my mom is telling me that I'm being an asshole for the way I'm handling the situation.
I'm in school for music production, my 2nd degree, 1st was music performance , but the classmate in question (L) just finished highschool. It's an expensive school that spits out professionals ready to work and almost guarantees work out of the gate.
We're in groups of 4 for our project, recording a song from an artist we find ourselves. I wanted a challenge, so I looked for an unfinished song I could work with the artist to complete together. Only I would be required to extra work, they could if they wanted, but I didn't want to make things harder on anyone but myself
First session: artist is great, great song, interested in all of my ideas. We have 2 weeks until our next session, but we don't have access to the internet and we store the files on a portable drive that is only compatible with Mac. Out of the 4 of us, only L has a Mac, so I take the recording as an mp3 and I give it to him, asking him to email it to me asap so I can work on the song over the 2 week break. He says yes.
Next day I email L if he could send it over. No response
I email him again: I really need that mp3, it's important that I get this work done before the recording session, so none of the group has to suffer. Finally responded today, saying he couldn't access the files from his home computer. Thing is, I already knew that, why is why I gave him the mp3. I tell him It's ok if he lost it but if he has it I really need it, and that it wasn't cool to ignore my message because if I had known he wasn't going to send me the file days ago, I could have booked the time to come in and get, but too late now. I won't be able to get the file until tuesday, and we're incredibly busy every day next week.
I say if he felt like I had pressured him into doing something he didn't want to do, I'm sorry, but you need to say that
Ignored again
final message: how much of an extra burden it's putting on me now that I can't work on my days off, if I don't finish the work in time I'll be screwing over the entire group, and it was easy to prevent if he had been more honest or had just responded to my messages faster. I would have been fine with any excuses earlier, but it's too late for any excuses now to not come off as an asshole. He's still a kid, so I he should know that this is dangerous behaviour in a professional setting
no response, am I the asshole?
sorry if it's disjointed in places, had to cut more than half of it so it would be under 3k characters
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
SJSFWnOWYBqnZ2pl5Kb62qArNw3aPhTV
|
aondbw
|
{
"description": "wanting the heat up in my house",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for wanting the heat up in my house?
|
I'm sure almost everyone has had to deal with thermostat issues at some point in the office, at home, etc. I know it's a very fine line to walk and that's why I'm seeking advice here. Earlier this year, my roommates (7 total) and I agreed to keep the thermostat around 70-71 during the day and 68-69 at night. I agreed to this back in September and still think it was a reasonable range of temperatures.
Fast forward to now, we are in a cold snap (of course) and temps are in the high 20s/low 30s for a week or two now. I'm freezing quite often. I've actually just had blood drawn to check for hypothyroidism/anemia but until I get results this is going to be an issue. I have a space heater in my room, windows closed, dressed in plenty of warm clothes/layers and am still chilly constantly. I've been putting the heat at 72 degrees regularly for a couple weeks because 70 degrees isn't enough and those 2 degrees help a bit. Note here: I usually sleep at my bfs house and rarely touch the heat after 7/8pm or so, this is a daytime issue.
A couple of my roommates, one in particular, has been angry the past couple of days because she is too hot. Temperature is such a sensitive subject because everyone's body is so different and I understand that. We are both uncomfortable with the current state of temperatures in this house but I feel like I've run out of options. I can keep layering up or sit around swathed in blankets, but if the rest of the house is fine with the thermostat at 72, couldn't she open her window or remove layers before I have to keep escalating? (this was actually suggested to her in our group chat by another roommate but the suggestion upset her).
She's been getting progressively more angry about the heat situation and I just need to know AITA? I feel like there are no assholes here really but I need some outside perspective before I lose my mind over this.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
phtjvNuPZowuhfHBlQDBnmj8lsMBXFRd
|
a3qjvj
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be someone's friend because they won't stop being negative about themselves",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be someone's friend because they won't stop being negative about themselves?
|
I have, well maybe had this friend who was always constantly negative about themselves. They never accepted any compliments, got bothered when people wouldn't continue complimenting them or wouldn't compliment them at all, and would constantly make me feel like shit because I wouldn't continue telling them how pretty they are and what not. They always complain about how ugly and fat they are and then go on about how no one cares about them yet they're the ones thinking so when people actually do care about them and go through hell and back just to make them happy. I don't want to be their friend anymore because of this because it feels like a toxic, awkward situation to be in that I don't want to be apart of, despite this person being my only friend at this school besides another person.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IItPpqonWVOJHKCyEqjCHI5nj72HEGux
|
at7dl3
|
{
"description": "using a dating app",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for using a dating app?
|
Okay so basically, in an on and off again relationship (both at fault), but i saw on her phone (wasnt snooping: she has a car holder for her phone and she was checking her gps and when she left google maps it went to the homescreen and i just glimpsed the screen because i was still looking and i saw the tinder app).
So like i know that we arent really together or whatever (her words or not really because any discussion about where we are just ends with her telling me she doesnt want to talk about it), but it hurt me to see that regardless.
Ive been trying to not be jealous or make comments and also trying not to go crazy when i dont see her all week, but i cant help but be hurt.
My friends suggested that i should do the same and try and move on. The thing is, I still want to try and make it work and i hate just casually dating its pointless as far as im concerned, but it does help me nkt be crazy and jealous in regards to her. So i went on a site and made a profile but i cant help but feel slimey and shitty.
I really dont know of its good advice or if i should just give up because i feel like after a little over a year its worth fighting for still but i dont want to be the only one fighting even though shes the one who came and got me back...
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
8udbiWvj4LeaExfWnP5wVWwiOKwuqN9C
|
b41ito
|
{
"description": "taking a 5 hour nap",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking a 5 hour nap?
|
My girlfriend can get upset a little easily, most of the time I get it and I can take responsibility and brush passed it but I'm quite bothered tonight. I got home from an especially exhausting day at school and I was really sleepy. I told her I was going to try to stay awake but I'm sorry in advance if I fall asleep. She told me she felt selfish for wanting me to stay up but she didn't want me to sleep. I understand why she wouldn't want me to sleep, we have a temporary LDR at the moment so I know how time together is important. However, I fell asleep—for 5 hours... When I woke up she was really really mad. She said "I even had the intention of calling you since you said you wanted to see me." I asked her why she didn't just call me and wake me up with a normal phone call she said "do you know how stupid that sounds? To wake you up just because I want attention?" At this point I was getting bothered so I asked her "So then it sounded better to you to say I will chew his ass when he wakes up because I want attention?" She did not enjoy that... After a little bit of arguing she called me in a video chat. I apologized a lot and she refused to accept it. I told her "I'm not responsible for how you feel. I didn't do this to hurt you. All I can do is sympathize and apologize." It really didn't help at all. After a while she said she was leaving to sleep so I said my goodnight and everything and that I love her. She didn't say she loved me back but she did say bye. I told her "I'll see you soon? " she said "sure" which is very different from what she usually says. I guess what I'm saying here is am I the asshole for thinking this is an overreaction? Or does she have every right to be upset?
TL; DR: I am in a LDR, I fell asleep during the day for 5 hours and idk if that is a bad enough thing for my gf to be so angry
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Q0anLYX2wJkhePns7PHVxglOK67R6580
|
a5xofe
|
{
"description": "wanting my puking neighbor to move",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting my puking neighbor to move?
|
Background: I'm a PhD student. I live in graduate housing, and the buildings are ok but the bathroom walls are thin. I live in the second-to-last townhouse to the end. It is relatively quite, with some of the students having kids, but its nothing I can't deal with. A few months back, our old neighbors moved and new neighbors replaced them. They are a family of a husband, wife, and one younger kid.
Ever since my neighbor moved in to the last (end of the row) townhouse, he throws up. Its very clearly the guy. Almost every morning (before he leaves for class) and every night (8pm-2am) he sits in the bathroom and yells while he chucks it. I MEAN YELLS. I can hear this guy from downstairs with the TV on. This has gone on for months. Its gotten to the point where I can't get ready for school sometimes because I am a sympathetic puker, and the sound of him chucking it about does me in. I have to hide in the bedroom until he finished. I was once taking a shower when he started and...I'm glad I was in the shower so I could clean up right away.
I know they know. The family won't make eye contact when we see each other outside. They don't acknowledge that anything is wrong. I've reached out to the leasing office twice now, and they said I should feel free to approach the neighbors since they indicated the throwing up wasn't "medically related." So, I guess he doesn't have stomach cancer? Would it make it any different if he did? I'm wondering if that means the violent puking is due to drugs? This thought makes me want to approach him even less now, knowing that there may be something else involved. I've even batted around the idea of calling the campus police for some sort of....wellness checkup? This guy sounds like he drank bleach before he throws up.
I view this as: there is noise that is disrupting my daily life and sleep. The source of the noise doesn't matter. Any neighbor that replaces me is going to have the same problem. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
6x3b8zqRQlH7bmZKiwCSYtM6QZBLYZVc
|
adsd4x
|
{
"description": "not telling my so that I had changed dinner plans",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for not telling my SO that I had changed dinner plans?
|
This happened literally today so the events are pretty fresh in my mind.
My SO and I had just finished a class together (important detail: we came in separate cars) and it was dinner time so we both decided we were going to get Uber eats delivered. I wanted Vietnamese and she said earlier she would get a burger.
We separated to our cars to drive the 30mins home. I looked online and saw that the Vietnamese place had closed. I thought 'shit, well my SO is getting a burger so I'll just get that too'. Placed my order and drove home.
The order was literally waiting for me on my doorstep when I got home so I went inside to eat. I usually drive a lot quicker than my SO (plus I was driving quicker because I saw the Uber was on its way) so I didn't think it was weird that she wasn't home for 10mins after me, enough time for me to eat my burger.
Que her losing her shit because I didn't contact her about getting her a burger too 'when my plans changed'. I asked why she didn't get anything on the way home herself, she said that she visited someone on the way home and was waiting until she got home to decide what to eat.
I argued that this is the exact same thing as she is accusing me of: not contacting the other person 'when their plans change'
AITA or should I have contacted her when my dinner plans changed?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
82thZTPFTXb6PuG111oTC2BQitKMsSJE
|
ac1zb4
|
{
"description": "cutting off some of my friend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off some of my friend?
|
This friend and I originally met online, and we became really close friends quite quickly. We talked all the time and played games together quite often, until at one point I felt like she just ended up ignoring me after we had met up in person for the first time. I told her that I felt that way, and we stoped talking for about a month before things got back to normal as she was upset that I felt like that. After we began talking again, she said that her boyfriend told her to not talk to me for some reason. Later on she was having problems with her boyfriend and I told her that I liked her, not much changed after this and we continued playing games and talking almost every day. One day while playing games she had to quit early in order to help out a friend of hers who was depressed, which I didn't mind at all. A few months later she got drunk at a party and messaged me that she loved me, which I was quite doubtful of at the time due to the fact she was drunk and still with her boyfriend. I've forgotten what else happened in relation to that, but nothing changed and we continued talking and playing games together.
A few months later we had both gone back to college, in different cities. One of our mutual friends went out and got drunk with some others, during which one of them lost their phone. I felt that it was a bad thing to have happened, and my friend agreed with me when talking to her about it. I ended up talking to the mutual friend about it, and when I did he said that my friend had no problem with it. Around this point I was starting to become depressed, and it was very hard to get in contact with my friend. Any time I tried to talk she was too busy, or didn't want to talk about the depression as she had been through something similar in the past which I understand. I was slightly confused though, as in the past she had stopped playing to help somebody else in a similar situation. My depression continued to get worse and it was harder and harder to contact her, all while she would post things like "I wish I had friends", and "If only somebody would talk to me". We met up one more time in person, along with the mutual friend, and I ended up having a panic attack the entire time. They were staying at my place and had booked flights for the day before they had told me they would arrive, which I felt was slightly inconsiderate but I didn't mind too much.
After this we barely talked, and any time I tried to start conversation I would barely hear back from her. My depression got to a point where I ended up in hospital, and although she seemed concerned when I first got there by asking if I was ok she then wouldn't reply to any questions I asked while I was there no matter how basic they were. After getting out of hospital I decided that it would be much easier for me to cut her off and move on with my life, and I personally think that it has helped me to get better. I'm still not entirely sure whether I'm the asshole though, and would love some third party opinions on it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Mr63aCrnD3xh3ZEuG1UqANXk2uLw7J5C
|
9v2gt1
|
{
"description": "not voting",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA For not voting?
|
I'm in the mindset that a singular vote on an issue is pointless. I understand that a group of people can make or break an election, but i just don't see how one person can change the pace of an election.
I see it as adding a pebble to a mountain. Its not going to change the size enough to be considered something different.
If i am TA and you wish to change my mind me, i gladly accept all counter arguments.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
UYAK5c1h8SnqrvDcl2sL7WvxAMOtVimE
|
a39mca
|
{
"description": "telling my friend that she is toxic",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for telling my friend that she is toxic
|
I was hanging out with my friend after class today, let's just say her name is Jane. Out of the people that I hang out with, I hang out with Jane the most, but she is also the most toxic among my friends, making many "jokes" that are borderline bullying against me on a daily basis.
After getting some food today, she is taking me home (I did not have access to my car) and she makes an off comment about how nobody likes to hang out with her unless she has her car to drive people around. I try to tell her that I enjoy hanging out with her, car or not, but it's incredibly hard to make a argument when I am in her car. Anyways, after not being able to reassure her, I offhandedly say, "Well, you are fun to hang with, but you can be really mean and toxic sometimes." After this, she basically went silent the rest of the time she drove me home.
Now, I stand by what I said about her. After all, I do believe what I said to be true. But was I in the right to say it to her like that? She does have a few family issues going on, which makes me feel really bad about the entire situation.
In short, I called my friend out on mean things she did to me, won't talk to me. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
GSWdBHyxVPtX5dUW6k3doe6YyAfEsPja
|
awri3p
|
{
"description": "reporting my ID client and his mom to DSS",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for reporting my ID client and his mom to DSS?
|
Breakdown of the title if no one knows what I meant - my job is working 32 hrs a week with a client with intellectual disabilities (ID) and he and his mother have a horrifically gross house infested with roaches & carpet beetles and I recently discovered a series of bug bites that look like bed bug bites on my client.
I spent 32 hrs a week in this home. If they have an infestation I could easily take them home and basically ruin my brand new home (just bought & moved in sept 2018)
Anyway I’m a mandated reporter and I told my supervisor, she reported to department of social services (DSS) and they showed up Friday morning. The mom was super angry, tried to kick them out bu they told her they legally had to be there and speak with here. They took a general history and got permission for a exterminator to contact her, even though they’re gonna need much more than that. (A professional cleaner?) I’m glad she accepted that first step of help, but she talked so much trash about anyone who couldn’t called DSS on her. She knows they won’t just show up unless it was a call. I’ve played it off so far as I don’t know what was going on, my supervisor came by and did our monthly meeting and acted as if she knew nothing about if “verifying” my story but I still feel awful for embarrassing these people I’ve gotten so close to over the last year.
So like I asked, AITA? Would you have done the same thing?
They are human beings and deserve to sleep in a clean bed, not get eaten up by bugs. Right?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
34bjbWgCA8SfAcmgvJnRCfml6JJZ6jUK
|
a1qfbl
|
{
"description": "arguing about sexuality unnecessarily",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for arguing about sexuality unnecessarily?
|
Basically, I identify as asexual (not sex-repulsed but zero interest whatsoever)
One of my friends in particular has a highly active sex life, and as a part of our friendship we regularly joke about the topic of sex. We rarely have serious conversations about it, but lately I've been quite annoyed because he doesn't seem to understand how asexuality works. He constantly encourages me to masturbate and says that I'm "not asexual, just inexperienced" and that I have an unhealthy relationship with sex that needs fixing.
I've tried to have serious conversations about it and it always ends up with him just joking around and dismissing it. He usually can't get the hint until I'm literally crying in any scenario because he's such a jokey guy all the time. In one situation I was feeling really insecure about it and tried to stand up for myself and say that I'm not broken and I don't need fixing, but he told me I'm in denial and of course I need fixing and that it's not normal for humans to not want sex, and that I'll learn to like it. It's making me second guess my identity quite a lot and I wonder if maybe I was the asshole for bringing it up and making things serious when we were just supposed to be having fun and joking around?
It isn't a massive deal breaker in terms of friendship for me because since sex is such a huge part of his life, I can totally understand that he can't comprehend living without it. However it's been really grating recently and some of my close (gay and bi) friends have noticed. It annoys me a lot that he respects their sexuality but "doesn't believe in" mine. My other non-straight friends think it's BS and are really sympathetic. They want to help the situation and agree that he's being an asshole but they agree he won't listen if we try to talk about it seriously.
They've suggested that as a group we should tease him a bit in response and intentionally try to make him feel uncomfortable in the same way he makes *me* feel uncomfortable to drive the point home since he only seems to communicate through humour and isn't taking me seriously. Teasing/making fun of each other is a big part of our group friendship, so we always try to respect boundaries when we hit them, but WIBTA if we did this with the intention to make him feel bad and hopefully understand how his actions affect us?
His friendship is valuable to us and we would never ditch him over it, but I don't think it's fair for me to just have to "get over it" or "grow a thicker skin." I don't want to end up being an asshole in return just because HE'S being an asshole, that wouldn't make me any less of an asshole... I'm not really sure what to do about the situation since we've already tried talking to him about it and it hasn't gotten through.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
BWGdNvvMXr59tXxFL1SUs2yOmZJmCZZy
|
axmokw
|
{
"description": "thinking that I am entitled to some or all of my mom's unpaid child support",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 81
}
|
AITA for thinking that I am entitled to some or all of my mom’s unpaid child support
|
Growing up, I lived with my mom and only got to see my dad every other weekend. My dad wanted to spend more time with us but my mom wouldn’t let him, so my dad cut off child support. My dad and I are much closer now.
My dad’s dad recently died and left my dad a ton of money. Rather than letting my dad keep it or share it with my siblings and I, my mom sued my dad and was awarded almost $500k for unpaid child support. This leaves my dad with practically nothing from the money his own father left him.
My mom wasn’t a terrible mother, but she basically provided us with the bare minimum of clothing, shelter, and food. We never took trips, never had nice things, everything was handed down and nothing was new. We ate a lot of unhealthy processed food. Overall not a great (or expensive) childhood.
Now my mom refuses to share this massive payout with her kids, even though the purpose of child support is to support the kids. I feel I am entitled to at least some of this money, as it was originally intended for me and would’ve been for me if I were under 18. My mom called me selfish and ungrateful when I told her this. AITA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 77,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 81
}
|
WRONG
|
dRvuAJsxDV9cgsBv9aZBieCw2tJRXPX3
|
azlmsm
|
{
"description": "laughing at an autism joke",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for laughing at an autism joke?
|
Background: I work at an organization that focuses a majority of their efforts in caring for people that have mental health issues.
Situation: There were 7 coworkers left at a long time coworkers going away party. 3 of which are part of the administrative team, 2 supervisors, a fairly new employee, and me. During one of the conversations we were having a coworker, who is always cracking jokes and is part of the supervisor team, starts reminiscing on funny stories of the employee, who is going away. One of the stories he told included a part about his sister, who was held back in grade school because she was too shy.
After the story, a coworker, who is not part of the administrative team and fairly new, says out loud, “I was almost held back from kindergarten because they thought I was autistic.” There was a short pause and then the coworker, who was telling funny stories said, “and the verdict is still out!” At this point, the coworker who said it, started to laugh, and I also started to die laughing. I was laughing so hard because the poor girl had left herself open for a joke like that and for him cracking a joke about her possibly being autistic at a mental health organization. Everyone laughed, but realized that the joke was inappropriate, and settled down. I continued to laugh to the point were I began to tear up. After my good hard laugh, the coworker, who was made fun of says to me seriously, “why are you laughing.” To which I respond, “because it was funny.”
I composed myself and hung out until everyone cleared the room and had the chance to talk to the leaving coworker.
When I repeated this story to my girlfriend, she told me that I was the asshole for laughing, which is something that had not crossed my mind because I was not the one who told the joke.
So who is the asshole? The guy who made the joke or me for laughing at the joke so hard?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
p778K8DNCOl43RR9MLwUxZcHIl4jL82A
|
am2y0o
| null |
AITA. Super bowl party or nieces first birthday.
|
I’m not good with stories but I’ll try. So I get told today (Friday) my wife forgot about her nieces birthday party on Sunday (Super Bowl). It’s 2 hours away and we they draw it out so we never leave till around 4. My question is am I a asshole for not wanting to go or is her sister the asshole for marking the partying then?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
KD1sh17CFLeWQucjjRzBCoEgOFHcUQBz
|
a6nlty
|
{
"description": "being mad at BF for ignoring his friend was in love with him",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at BF for ignoring his friend was in love with him?
|
My boyfriend "M" has a female friend "P", who he previously had a thing with in October (while we were not together). Once we got back together, he stopped hooking up with P but never told her he was dating me; he would always avoid telling her when he was with me, telling her white lies and withholding the truth. So P had developed feelings for M while they were together, and M knew she still had feelings while he and I were already together. She told him she needed to confess something, and M has been putting it off for weeks. Basically, he's ignoring the whole situation (that she's in love with him) while still being friendly with her.
I've told him this situation bothers me and to fix it, which he always agreed to but never followed through. To me it seems like he's leading her on, plus I don't particularly enjoy being kept a secret. His reasoning for not telling her is that he didn't want to make big drama when it wasn't necessary, he doesn't want to hurt her, and that whatever he does P will end up upset either way. He says she's not a great person, that she's stubborn and sensitive and ignores him most of the time anyway (but is that really an excuse?). It finally blew up this morning when she found out from a 3rd party that M is with me. Now she's upset with him, I'm upset with him, and he's upset that I'm upset. He says I don't understand the situation, that I don't understand the type of person P is. He also says he cares about her as a friend, and that he needs support from me during this time rather than anger.
AITA in this situation?
tl;dr: Boyfriend ignores that female friend is in love with him, doesn't tell her about me for weeks, says she's a difficult and sometimes mean person (even though he still cares about her as a friend), and ignored the whole situation because it wasn't necessary and caused drama.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
UM4TamZerVZiMIxv4UTrgU55nvkrmnPv
|
aa35ws
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my so who revealed they're trans",
"pronormative_score": 558,
"contranormative_score": 18
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my SO who revealed they're trans
|
I'm not sure about pronouns and all that, apologies if I offend anyone. I'll be referring to my ex-SO as they cause I'm not sure how to use he/she in this context. For context, we're in high school.
They are biologically female, and I've been dating them for close to a year. They'd been making pretty subtle comments for a while about hoe they felt more like a guy, but I was mostly sure I had misinterpreted it or something. Then a week ago, they got their hair cut and started wearing a breast binder. I asked them about it, and they straight up told me they're trans and to refer to them as a guy now.
Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with trans people. But I don't want to date one, because I'm a straight guy. So to me it would be weird dating a guy, trans or not. They said, 'but you like me, right? Why does my gender matter?' I think, because of my sexuality, it *does matter*. I tried to let them down gently, but yeah, I broke up with them.
Since then they have been treating me like I'm an asshole. Am i?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 16,
"OTHER": 539,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 19,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 558,
"WRONG": 18
}
|
RIGHT
|
GyhHT25c8fLZjYJV9deVgWRbiW4u4Sy9
|
b6nm88
|
{
"description": "taking my dishes and cookware from the kitchen a month before I move out",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking my dishes and cookware from the kitchen a month before I move out?
|
I live with a girl, let's call her Sarah in a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment.
​
It seemed fine at first, but quickly small issues started becoming a problem. For starters, Sarah's girlfriend (they started dating right before move in) began living in the apartment right off the bat. Now like I said, its a 2bd2ba, but the kitchen and shared space is very small, so it definitely became very cramped. I really like the girlfriend, she's super nice but she doesn't pay anything to be here, despite being in the apartment every week at least 4-5 days at a time. I attempted to bring this up with Sarah but felt like it was dismissed as being no big deal. This was also something she never asked if I was comfortable with, never asked if I minded, just starting having the girlfriend live with us. I didn't really push it, because I didn't want to make my living situation difficult/cause fighting.
​
I am a very clean person and Sarah is not. She almost never does the dishes. When she uses dishes, she leaves caked-on food on pots, pans, and plates, and leaves liquid in cups all the time. There will be empty food wrappers and open things of food left out on the counter, and she constantly leaves spilled food all over the stovetop. She will put dishes in the sink sometimes, but that’s it. I'd often just do the dishes because 1. they were mine, and 2. I needed clean things to eat/use. Some friends convinced me that I should stop doing that and let her deal with the mess that she made, which I was starting to agree with.
​
So then, the dishes would sit in one side of the sink, start to smell, and then her girlfriend would eventually do them for her. Again, some of these things are mine that either I paid for or my parents got for me, and while it's not like they are fancy (IKEA brand, target, etc.) I would prefer that they don't get ruined by sitting in dried grease and left to grow mold. I tried to talk to her about dishes multiple times, sometimes a quick reminder to clean up after herself, or just a comment here and there, and always nicely.
​
So today I made a decision. I move out in May, which is about a month away at this point. I went into the kitchen, cleaned all the dishes that I owned, and then took everything in the kitchen that was mine and packed it up. When Sarah and her gf got home, I claimed that I wanted to get some stuff packed early (not technically a lie) and that I felt like we had enough duplicates of things that it wouldn't be an issue (also not a lie, she has plenty of plastic cups, plates, bowls, and recently bought plastic silver-wear to avoid doing dishes). Her and her girlfriend were absolutely fine with this, and didn't seem to care. I can't help feel a little guilty about it, because I 100% know it was passive aggressive, but after multiple times trying to get her to clean, I didn't feel like I was being listened to. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
aLKaZlGeAdvsPj31BefGv80IXaSJrdPY
|
a94e3e
|
{
"description": "asking someone to move their car",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking someone to move their car?
|
Pulled into the carpark of a local shop on christmas eve. There were no spaces, and one car was taking up two spaces. Not just by a small margin where I could squeeze in, but half in each of the two spaces.
I got out of my car and walked over gesturing for him to roll down the window (He was sitting waiting on someone returning from the shop).
"Can you olease move over into one space? there is nowhere else to park." - is verbatim what I said. He replied "there is a space over there" and as he spoke he dismissively rolled up his window and stared ahead.
The space he referred to was currently being filled by someone ahead of me.
Before the window fully closed I said "you're very rude" and walked back to my car.
I made no attempt to move and he slowly moved into one space. I took the now free parking space under the glares of this random man.
AITA
Tl;Dr man takes up two spots. I ask him to move.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UWudFpAgoUPqniTYETzpYsOGbFL3E8tI
|
b96pcq
|
{
"description": "wanting to cut my dad out of my life and not was wanting his car",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to cut my dad out of my life and not was wanting his car.
|
So I'm 15.5 and I have a car lined up for me. It would be my first car. Problem is it's my dads. My dad through most of my life hasn't been there for me. He was always out on the road and when he came home he would try and turn me into something I'm not. Then he went to prison for 5 years. During this time I loved to Washington while he stayed in Oregon. My mom had to take care of me with little to no money. The five years past and I didnt know why I never saw my dad. I was later told what he did. This is where the problem comes in. I talked to him about and I soon learned that he wasnt a father. He was a lame excuse for one. He is manipulative and racists and sexist. Like racist to the point of calling black people n***ers in public. My parents aren't legally divorced so my dad isnt obligated to pay anything but over the past 8 years he has only ever given my mom 100 dollar to help with two kids. I want to cut him out of my life. People in my family believe I'm being harsh and kinda a dick. I also dont want his car because it has 380k miles on it. Am I being too harsh?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
99yvEYruQDjqJRL2Jn2Y630ratKpboHg
|
axzn8j
|
{
"description": "ordering a sandwich from a deli with the expectation that I can use their restroom",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for ordering a sandwich from a deli with the expectation that I can use their restroom?
|
So I order this sandwich and then ask to use the restroom. They tell me they do not have a restroom. I explain that I ordered the sandwich just so I could use it. I have to go really badly. They ask me to pay and I cancel the order and leave. They haven’t made the sandwich yet. They are super mad. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
koAjP53jDTZV5VJO0ur4RRWiAEQjvpci
|
aghrvh
|
{
"description": "ignoring my little sister for years",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for ignoring my little sister for years.
|
Quick bit of info that needs to be said first off: My sister has a different father than me, but I live in the same apartment as them. He and I don't get along, he was abusive to me when I was a child. Now he is too afraid to pull his shit on me because im bigger and stronger than him. He is a geniune asshole and very few people like him, not even his own mother likes him.
Now onto the part I need help analyzing. My sister is 10 years old and we used to be very very close. Around the age of 6, she started to exhibit nearly the same behavior as her father (who I hate); being aggressive, rude, loud, and obsessed with toys. He thinks the way to peoples hearts is with toys. He is 41 and still buys toys for himself :))) God forbid you leave money out, you will find him with a new supreme key chain or some shit.
Anyways... As she got older, well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and she is a spitting image of him, in her mannerisms, attitude, just.... everything. Seeing the man I have so much hate for being manifested in my sister who I love so much... It really fucks me up. I've gotten really good with selective hearing and sight so you can be right next to me trying to get my attention and I wont aknowlege a thing. I've only ever done this to my sisters father, but now it's been almost 4 years and I cant remember the last time I even aknowleged my sister, who I see every day. She sometimes asks me why I don't talk to her or why I dont spend time with her anymore, to which I usually shrug or just act like I didn't hear her.
I already know that I am the asshole in this situation, but I honestly don't know how to act any other way. Ignoring people is the way I've protected myself since I was a kid. But it kills me though because I truly love my sister more than anything and I wish I didnt see the person I hate so much, in her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 7
}
|
WRONG
|
ycQYBbyJUTf4HbgZE8ExWXqjqEKByDva
|
ao6c8i
|
{
"description": "telling my supervisor \"I could.\"",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For telling my supervisor "I could."
|
This happened yesterday...
I was at work after a meeting talking to a few coworkers in a group. My supervisor came up to me and started talking. I could tell by his tone, body language, and the fact that he was getting kind of red that this wasn't necessarily a positive encounter.
He says "I need you to do something. I'm mad and it doesn't have anything to do with you. I don't need any of your shit. I don't need any sarcasm. I don't feel like hearing any other shit you have to say. You need to just answer me and only the question I ask. Can you help me out?"
The speech was a little longer because it lasted about 30 seconds before that last question. I was thrown off from the approach, but decided to attempt to comply. I had 3 or 4 of my coworkers standing next to me. I was also a little... in suspense? Because he didn't provide any context, so my mind during this is wondering "wtf happened?!".
So I choose my words carefully and say "I could." No more, no less. That's a direct quote. I have no doubts that there was apprehension in my voice because I was surprised and.. bewildered, for lack of a better word.
He responds, "There you go with that smart ass shit again. Exactly what I said not to do. Fuck it." And then he storms off.
So I'm sitting there confused. The coworkers were mixed on reactions. One just stayed quiet, another said how he would have handled the situation if he were the supervisor (blaming him), and another asked why I didn't just say yes (blaming me).
From my viewpoint, it was one of those "hey I need you to do something but you have to say yes." types of situations just not in the playful way.
But I also understand that he was upset and frustrated for whatever reasons and perhaps instead of diffusing that bomb, I cut the wrong wire and made it blow up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
OKCUsKNsqX4z7cs4QnyzNTRuRBb6yjg8
|
aewjvf
|
{
"description": "not tipping the bartender at the club",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for not tipping the bartender at the club?
|
Last night I was out at the club with a bunch of friends, I don't go all that often so I'm not 100% on the etiquette.
I was at work before I joined them so I was a little behind the pregame and decided to go up to the bar and ask for a shot.
They pour my shot and tell me it'll be 5$. I hand them my 5$ bill and the bartender just gives me this annoyed look followed by the bartender next to her in the booth saying to me in a snarky tone, "you know it's customary to tip right?"
I just looked at them a bit surprised and said, "sorry I only have 5$ on me."
I had a bit more obviously for later in the night but they seemed fine, although not happy, with that answer.
AITA for not wanting to tip someone for pouring me a 5$ shot??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 19,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 19,
"WRONG": 13
}
|
RIGHT
|
MLD5cYv6SfDWjYOZiydbm5b20MWK25bJ
|
agjm6m
| null |
AITA for how I ended a relationship with my co-worker?
|
Okay, long post incoming.
​
I want to first establish that I have little to no experience in romance and dating/flirting. I know when someone is flirting with me (sometimes), but I never know how to respond (it usually ends up with me jokingly flirting back or ignoring people completely, not a great response, I think).
​
So, this happened months ago, but it's been on my mind recently. I had a co-worker (Terry), who used to constantly flirt with me. It started out with just every time I saw him at work, but I would never think anything of it (I've had lots of friends who flirted just because, never serious). Then a bunch of us at the company went out to celebrate something at a bar (I don't remember what), but we both went and he continued to flirt with me there. At this point, I still couldn't tell if he was serious so I left it alone (jsyk, I didn't really like him like that). But, after the celebration, he invited me to hang out at his place. I asked if there were gonna be other people, he said he could invite some, so I agreed. We went to his place, but no one else ever showed up, and while it was just the two of us, he start to get real close and touchy. That sent a red flag though my head. After I left, I told myself never to be alone with him again as I didn't want to experience that again. (Obviously, in hindsight, I should have told him directly not to do that, but we'll get into that later).
​
Fast forward a month later, a good friend of mine (also a co-worker) and I were discussing horror films and he tells me that he's never seen Ju-on. We make plans to get together to watch it and he decides to invite Terry (they're best friends). I'm okay with it because it won't be Terry and I alone, but halfway through the movie, my friend decides to leave because he's super tired (it was like 2am). Now it's just me and Terry again. He takes the opportunity to sit right next to me, which I found uncomfortable. Again, I don't say anything to him (Idk, I should have but I never know what to say sometimes). After the movie ends, I tell him I'm going to bed and he leaves.
​
More months pass and at some point Terry is moved to a different branch under the same company. He works in the same city but in a different building. Anyway, I was having trouble with bed bugs in my place, called pest control, and they make a date to come spray the place. I have a dog so it can't just be me out of the house, I have to take her with me. I called a few friends to see if I could stay at their place in the meantime, no one is available. And in a moment of stupidity I ask Terry if I could stay over with my dog for a few hours. I reasoned in my head that since I would have my dog with me, he wouldn't try anything. I was wrong. He decided an hour in that he would ask in if I wanted to see his penis. I'm so shocked and disgusted, I just blurt out to him to never ask me those things and that I would prefer we be friends. He says okay, but I decide to leave a few minutes after. I couldn't be around him.
​
Now, we're finally into the AITA part of the story. The next day I go into work and I tell a few of my co-workers about it (I don't usually gossip, but I wanted their opinion since some of them are friends with Terry). Most of them felt it was weird behavior on his part and he might have been high or something. But, one of them did point out that he flirted a lot with other female employees and I'm not the first he's invited to his place (probably the only one that went though). I decide to share what happened to me with one more person, but I didn't really think about who I was sharing it with. So, I have a female co-worker who worked beside me my first two years there, but she had recently been promoted as a manager. I'm guessing she felt as a manager that this was alarming and she told Terry's boss about it. His boss comes to talk to me personally (he used to be my boss till he moved to the other branch) and we talked about it. He reveals to me that Terry is a supervisor at his branch and has been known to flirt with the female employees. He came to me to see if what I experienced was the same.
​
A week later, I get a text from Terry. He accuses me of spreading false rumors in the company, that I reached out to his boss wrongly, and that I should delete his number as he never wants to talk to me again. I block him to be sure, but I had a bad feeling in my gut. Like I did something terribly wrong.
​
So here's my question, was I wrong in being unable to respond correctly to Terry's advances? Did I mislead him? Was it my fault in him getting fired? AITA for basically telling on him to his boss?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
2dqacWO4ACGZigJoC0KoIHlrwFkUdm95
|
b2lemf
|
{
"description": "wanting to stop talking to a I've met in person once but FaceTime every night",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For wanting to stop talking to a I've met in person once but FaceTime every night
|
We live in the same city she's 21 and I'm 23 I feel as if someone wanted to see you as badly as you do them it would be quite easy to hang out and It doesn't even have to be my house but anytime I ask what she's doing when she's off she says sleep she literally calls me on the phone whenever she gets off work but doesn't want to hang out I like the girl but I'm not used to living minutes away and not hanging he'll I've been in relationships where I drove across cities we don't even have to take the freeway she's only had one boyfriend and let's just say my name could be legion Is there too much experience thats creating the problem or AIJAA
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
9nm192OkfpeCKMvR6GNkPg4qnwBzHYUx
|
az8hh7
|
{
"description": "ignoring my dad when he's trying to help me with my grades",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA for ignoring my dad when he’s trying to help me with my grades?
|
So I’m in high school. I’m failing a lot of my classes, but trying my best to make up for it.
One day, my parents get my report card and my dad says he wants to talk to me about it, so that I can tell him how I think I’m doing in my classes and he can tell me how I’m actually doing and talk to me about how I can do better.
I don’t have a specific plan for how to do better, which he wants me to have, but I’m going to try my best and I don’t particularly want him being too involved with my school affairs.
I tell him I don’t want to talk to him about it; he asks me why not, and I don’t have a good answer other than “it’s a waste of time” and “I can do it myself”, which he refutes by saying “clearly you can’t, because you said the same thing at the end of last semester and your grades are still really bad.” And I don’t really have anything to say to that, but I still don’t want him to go over my grades with me.
So he decides he’s still going to, and I tell him I’m not going to interact with him about it. When he tries to anyway, I ignore him and don’t respond at all; eventually he gives up and say he’ll talk to me about it after I finish my homework.
So after a little while it’s time for lunch, so I eat lunch and he talks to me about it again. I offer the same crappy reasoning why I don’t want him to go over my grades with me; as before, he starts to do it anyway. I tell him I’m not going to interact with him about it; he asks me why not again, and I’m tired of having the argument, so I ignore him and then go back to my room.
I kind of feel like I shouldn’t have to keep on trying to justify my decision not to go over my grades with him, but at the same time I feel like I haven’t offered good enough justification and I should just do it. So based on my biased point of view, I was wondering if people think I’m acting like an asshole or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 14,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
jHucNA5uDhp5X62IylXcIsGRhuWgT55L
|
a92zxb
|
{
"description": "not helping my mom carry her bag",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not helping my mom carry her bag?
|
We’re on vacation in Europe, 2nd last day there. We couldn’t place our luggage in the flat we rented the night before, so my sister wanted us to keep our luggage at the train station luggage storage.
We got up quite early around 9 am to go to the train station to place our stuff, the walk from the flat to the train station was 5-7 mins tops, I was already carrying a big backpack + dragging along my luggage, sister was doing the same. Mom and aunt were sharing one big luggage and they were each carrying a backpack. I generally walk pretty quickly, so I walked a head to the train station with my sister while my mom and aunt was a few feet behind us, it was pretty busy that morning in the train station so me and my sister rushed to the luggage storage place to secure a spot
When my mom got to the luggage storage area, she went off at me for being a useless son and how I was a male I had to help her. I was taken back cause I had no idea what I did wrong? In my mind I was thinking, If she needed help with the luggage she should’ve just asked and I would’ve helped. I just told her, I didn’t have to deal with all this and put on earphones. She spent the entire day throwing a petty tantrum and still hasn’t spoken to me, even after I offered to help her with the luggage later on.
AITA in this situation?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
iUG5h9fYpPmxivmwTsdJrH0cA1aYHhsL
|
antgmg
|
{
"description": "cutting my daughters hair",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for cutting my daughters hair?
|
I co parent with her dad and she is 19 months. Admittedly she doesn’t have very much hair. But it has gotten longer in the bangs and for the last couple months it has been annoying her and getting in her eyes. Instead of forcing her to sit still for me to put a tiny ponytail on top of her head (which she hates but I can make her do, it’s just a hassle and I’m the only one that pulls her hair back) I let her dad know I was going to trim her bangs. Her dad and I usually have a great relationship and have not once had an issue with raising her as we’re choosing to co parent. But after I sent him a picture of her trimmed bangs he seemed angry and when I asked he said he was annoyed that I did. I cut an inch, maybe an inch and a half of her bangs around her eyes so I don’t feel like I’m depriving him of being there for her first haircut. There wasn’t even enough trimmed to justify cleaning the sink. Am I the asshole or his annoyance a weird response?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
AKsMmYa9OQikgQ0YUiEpucngs22Q9302
|
agyuq4
|
{
"description": "wanting contact with my dad and his new family",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting contact with my dad and his new family?
|
Now this has to do a lot with my parents past.
I (17m) life with my mother, my half brother (another father) and my full sister.
My parents had me when they were in their very early 20s. After my mun was pregnant with me, my dad said he wanted to teach me piano (he was a music teacher at a local school). My mum agreed. As soon as I was born, my dad showed his bad sides, gambling, drinking, smoking a lot. When I turned 5, he taught me to play the piano, well taught would be wrong, as he more or less beat the lessons into me. My mum didn't know about it as I didnt say anything. during the span of one year, he became more and more violent, hitting my mum and even attacking her with a knife once whilst drunk. My mum decided to leave him in a rush, for the sake of our safety. Now I don't know if this has to do anything with it, but I was a rough child. my mum had to give up a job, as she had to constantly go to the kindergarden or school, whenever I misbehaved (fighting and doing dumb shit). I got diagnosed with ADHD and my mum decided to resort to medicine (I don't blame her). It worked out and I behaved well. Fast forward a bit and I'm 14. We're on a vacation to see my dads parents who I haven't seen in 12 years (so never really). My dad was also there at that time with his new daughter, about 5 years old. I really liked her as she's been the kind of little sister I've always wanted. My little sister was never on good terms with me, dunno why tbh.
Fast forward 2 days and we're still there. A stupid family arguement breaks out with two sides. The agressive A-Holes including my father and his bitch sister who claimed that my cousin punched her son (she didn't) and the ones that wanted to talk, including all of my family, my cousin, my grandparents and some other cousins. My dad goes to attack one of the male cousins with a pipe which he blocks. fight ends as soon as my dads older brother arrives. He tells us to leave for our own safety (in a kind way, gave us money for a hotel) and apologised for his siblings behaviour. This incident was the last time I saw my dad.
I also need to add, that I am still playing piano and if it wasnt for me learning the piano, I wouldn't have got to known the most amazing person I've ever met, who made my life so much more joyable. I know that she would've wanted me to meet up with my dad as well. I'm grateful to my dad that he gave me this gift.
Now here comes the thing:
My mother has been badmouthing my dad forever, and tbh most of those things I would say sound like things he'd do. But I don't hold grudges against people, as life is simply to short for that. My mother on the other hand still hates him and I understand.
He contacted me and my sister in November 2018, if we wanted to meet up every two weeks again. My sister instantly said no. I don't blame her, She barely got to know this man, only a few times and he just jelled and had a pipe in his hand. I on the other hand agreed. Now I do have the right to see my dad and my mother or anyone else can't do anything against it. She got pissed at me for saying yes, calling me a "betrayer" (haven't heard that for the first time) and saying "do you know what I had to go through, do you know how much therapy I needed to get past his abuse?"
Well I said no but I still wanted to see him.
We somehow ended the arguement and left it open. My dad contacted me last week, saying he wanted to meet me. How'd he get my number? I didn't care. All I cared about was if he's the real guy. So I asked a couple of questions which he got right. He told me his wife got a second child after the first one and they want to meet their big brother. Now, he did contact my sister but she instantly blocked him. I didn't tell my mum. Instead I told we'd meet at a café and I'd bring along a friend. Time comes and we're at the meeting and talking about how things are. He invites us to his place and we meet the girls. They are lovely and I love both of them. The wife is also very kind and caring. I left with a positive attitude.
I went home and told my mum that "oh yeah, today I met up with dad"
she just asked " what do you mean" so I told hee the same thing I just told you guys. Shw gets furious, screaming at me that she told me not to do it and even if, I needed her permission.
The incident spread throughout the family in an hour and I got threats from different family members. One said he'd take away my laptop, console and piano (all things I paid for with my part time job money) to which I replied he can go ahead, as I wont back down about meeting him regularily. He took the laptop and the console. well I wanted to go to the police about it but my mum said she'd not file a complaint (I needed parental confirmation or some shit like wtf)
The piano stayed as my mum convinced her brother/my uncle to stop it).
I'm in this situation where I don't know what to do.
I understand my mothers worried actions, but she needs to understand how I feel too (which is always last priority in this family).
AITA, does ESH or is NTA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
k91UTA6mUPbjtchOwIWUadFuBXwdXUTv
|
b1h62n
|
{
"description": "getting my neighbor arrested",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For getting my neighbor arrested?
|
So last night my upstairs neighbor was blasting music so loud I could hear it from down the street. I got home at about 9:30 from work and was ok with the music for a little bit because it was still kinda early so I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and was hoping itd get cut off soon. But the music never stopped and then there was constant stomping and what sounded like yelling. So I called the nonemergency line and got some cops to head this way just for the music . But while I was waiting for the cops one of the people that live got in their car and sped off spinning tires. I live in a quiet community so thats a big no no around here and I had the dispatcher call me back and I told them about the car speeding off and everything. And then the car pulls up outside parked in the road. I guess they forgot something.
So the cops show and pull up behind the car. And I guess they were just checking to make sure everything is ok, so they just a basic traffic stop. And I guess the cops smelled something because they ended up running the dog on the vehicle and I guess it got a hit. Because they ended up searching her vehicle and arresting her and towing her vehicle.
I didn't want any of that to happen, I just wanted the music cut down so I could sleep. But AITA for calling the cops and getting her arrested?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GwE4hUEX9P0z6OSaL4zsrHDZ62OLt66k
|
asedro
|
{
"description": "not sharing job-hunting information with a friend",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not sharing job-hunting information with a friend?
|
My very good friend and I currently have the same educational background, same current job, and are looking for similar positions for next school year. So we are basically in direct competition. She’s expecting her first baby any day now.
I have gotten my resume redone and have started applying for jobs. One really good fIt job has a due date of 3/1. I know she isn’t planning on doing her resume and she’s not looking at the job board yet.
AITA (or a bad friend) for not giving her heads-up at jobs we would both be good fits for?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
u3yhA39vfGrrO6jT95Ml0Y0jAeDzrugX
|
airgat
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend I'm sick of her saying she \"was going to\" do something once I start doing it",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
WIBTA If I told my girlfriend I'm sick of her saying she "was gonna" do something once I start doing it?
|
Me and my girlfriend live together. She works more than I do and that is what's keeping me from saying anything to her.
​
She has a bad habit of just throwing her clothes wherever and leaving dishes in the sink and just generally making the house a mess and not cleaning it up until it's effecting her. Whenever it's gotten bad enough to where I spend a whole day cleaning she tells me "well, i was gonna clean tomorrow when I had time" but the thing is "tomorrow" never comes.
the only time she ever mentions cleaning is when I am pissy and am cleaning up because the house is a mess. I know she works more than me so I bite my tounge and just say "i know, but i want it done now, it's gonna give me anxiety seeing the place a mess like this all day" because I don't want her to work more than me AND have to clean all the time.
​
But I am very sick of her saying she was GONNA do something. I don't know if this is even worth bringing up and if i'd be an asshole to do so.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
RXrpaPSK9Lce59fiMocGMkeGKH2TI27v
|
b038xm
|
{
"description": "being sad my bf had to leave so soon",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being sad my bf had to leave so soon?
|
So I'm back again with another story about me and my boyfriend, it escalated quite a bit this time.
If you saw my other post you will kinda understand how my boyfriend overreacts really quickly so keep that in mind.
So tonight I was playing some Overwatch with my boyfriend, I was playing with him for about 4 hours and he said he was leaving soon to play with his friends.
I understand 4 hours seems like a long time but when you're having fun with a loved one it just seems so short.
Anyways, I tell him I'm upset he has to leave so soon but I hope he has fun etc.
This is where it all starts to go wrong, he tells me that I don't want him to have friends, I'm selfish and I want him to be alone and miserable.
I try to explain to him that I only meant to tell him that I was upset that he has to leave so soon, he doesn't listen and tells me he will delete all of his friends so I can have my way, he leaves mid game, (we were talking on discord atm) and leaves the call.
I try texting him explaining to him that I didn't mean anything bad by it, at this point he's getting depressed and doesn't read what I say anymore. He says I never loved him and noone will love him or care for him.
I tried my best to tell him everything will be okay and I'll forgive him for all of this.
He tells me to shut up and to leave him alone because I'm just a liar.
My boyfriend has depression, and I try to be really careful with what I say.
Lately I just can't say anything anymore because it's all bad in his mind.
I wish I could get him professional help but he doesn't want it.
There's only so much I could do for him and I just don't know how to help him anymore, but I don't want to leave him alone either.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
8berTSoMfaFcGk5yjN7EVfbaIioN0Ww0
|
akviix
|
{
"description": "falling asleep with my son in the car",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for falling asleep with my son in the car?
|
When my fiancee and I go shopping, I sometimes stay in the car with my son. He was asleep in his car seat, and she went into Walmart. Neither of us had slept much the night before, so I was feeling tired myself. I climbed into the back seat and rested my head on his lap. It's mid winter and he's bundled up in blankets, and was comfortable. I was wearing my jacket and there's a lot of clutter in my car, so I wasn't really visible unless you looked in the car. He was. I fell asleep, and was awokened by my fiancee yelling at me. Apparently a couple nearby saw him in the car alone (not seeing me with him) and were about to call the police. I didn't think I did anything wrong, but AITA for creating that situation? My fiancee apologized for reacting the way she did, but she is naturally anxious and wouldn't like to deal with cops.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
d3MxSjjk1fYoY6FvlWv3KqQyogHuoFGF
|
9u5gsu
| null |
AITA for how my friendship ended?
|
Whew, this is a long one. I apologize in advance. So I'm a female college student who is currently in her third year of school. My freshman year of college I met two girls who became my best friends. We were pretty much inseparable -- we were very close, talked in a group chat all the time, hung out constantly, you name it. We decided to live together during our sophomore year. Everything was fine for the first semester. I really enjoyed living with my best friends and we had a lot of fun.
​
Here's where things get a little complicated, so I'll try to firstly give some backstory. One of my friends (let's call her B) was in a long-distance abusive relationship when we met her during our freshman year. The guy she was dating checked all the boxes of an emotional abuser -- he was manipulative, controlling, and called her names. I witnessed this stuff firsthand. He cheated on her a few months into college and they had a long, drawn-out breakup that was full of tears and drama. They went through a 4-5 month long period where they cycled through breaking up, getting back together, and cheating on each other. My other friend (let's call her F) and I were there for her through this whole process, though admittedly, it was pretty hard to watch. We were genuinely never anything less than supportive. B was really affected by the abuse she had undergone and I understand that getting out of a toxic relationship/ending the cycle of abuse is hard.
​
Back to sophomore year. B had been out of her abusive relationship for over a year but confided in us several times that she wasn't really over it. She acknowledged the fact that she missed her ex and still cried about the situation a lot. Around this time, she got a new boyfriend, and while we were open-minded at first, he turned us off really quickly. He was super quiet around us and gave off sort of an angry vibe. We chalked it up to being shy at first, but we kept inviting him to things and it never really got better. B started spending all of her time with her boyfriend and she practically stopped talking to us. Each of us reached out a few times and she basically said she was in a depressive episode and needed time to herself.
​
So that was what we gave her. We still invited her to things (though she always said no) and tried reaching out to her at least a few times a week. While she ignored us she posted constantly about her boyfriend on social media... and I'm literally not even exaggerating. I mean, every single day, I'd see four snapchat stories of his face plastered with heart stickers, Tweets, and Facebook posts. No joke, I had several mutual friends contact me and ask why B was posting about her boyfriend so much. It hurt F and I's feelings that B had gone silent on us but was constantly with her new boyfriend. I also should mention that she would bring her boyfriend into our apartment and completely ignore us when we were there. She wouldn't even say hi. It made our apartment a really awkward and uncomfortable place to live. This boyfriend reminded us a lot of her abusive ex, which was scary.
​
After about a month of this, we staged an intervention and let her do most of the talking. We really didn't want to make it seem like we were ganging up on her. B basically said that she was going through a depressive episode and was having panic attacks every day. She said she posted about her boyfriend so much because she wanted to make it appear that she was feeling okay. She said she was scared to see us or talk to us because she valued our opinion so much. We asked her to work on getting professional help, making more of an effort with us, and cutting down on the posts. She agreed.
​
I can confidently say that literally nothing came out of that interaction. In the month that followed, she actually ended up saying some pretty scary stuff, like "everyone would be better off without me." This resulted in us talking to our RA, who was then required to report what she had said, on two separate occasions. She got very angry at us both times we did this and told us we'd abused the resource. We tried not to take what she said to heart because we knew she was sick and we'd rather have an angry friend than a dead friend, but I'd be lying if I said we didn't get angry in response. I'm someone who really hates drama and confrontation (it literally makes me physically ill) and I felt like I'd done something that made me super uncomfortable and miss a day of work in order to help her, and she just lashed out at me. While F and I were trying to help, B just pulled closer to her boyfriend, who was isolating her. At this point, F and I figured that there was no way this guy was good for her. If I was dating someone and they were threatening suicide, I don't think that encouraging their isolation from their friends/family is a positive thing.
​
Because the posts just wouldn't stop, F and I unfollowed B's boyfriend on social media. She messaged us about an hour later, and it was clear she was angry. She asked us why we did it and told us she knew we wouldn't understand what she was going through. F and I basically vowed to be done at that point. B reached out once more with the help of our RA to try to reconcile things with us. There wasn't a whole lot of apology on her part, and she maintained her accusatory tone throughout that whole conversation. She felt that we hadn't given her enough time to get her act together, hadn't given her boyfriend enough of a chance, and had abused our resources when she was threatening suicide. We felt that we just couldn't take it anymore and we expressed to her our desire to end the friendship. We moved out and have not spoken again since then.
​
I've felt guilt about the situation ever since. Who's the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
QUzllBO93ZT2pMGlAKy15eaXSDv9ajdy
|
b7ijxf
|
{
"description": "having a door mat indoors",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for having a door mat indoors?
|
We recently got hardwood floors installed in my house and, as a result, my shoes have started tracking pebbles/dirt/sand into my room. To combat this, I bought a doormat and left it in front of the door so I could wipe my feet. My mother insists that this is disrespectful because it implies that I am okay with tracking dirt through the rest of the house. I don't live in a house where people remove their shoes before entering/at the door, and most people (my mother included) wear shoes in the common areas. There is a mat at the door and I use that one as well, but it isn't enough on its own. Am I the asshole for having a doormat in front of my interior door?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
maddcBmUkRyO3vAg2NioPNMVWHA08k0m
|
ap1hbh
| null |
AITA? Comment removed by r/vegan mods for what I feel like was due to a disagreement.
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/vegan/comments/aorros/comment/eg3aj4w?st=JRYI9X6H&sh=6542e606
Preface of OP’s claim: the majority of plastic that pollutes the ocean is from disposed fishing nets. Therefore, it is morally wrong to eat fish as it funds these businesses.
The comment that I left was me disagreeing that consumers should be shamed for eating fish. I said that I love seafood and I don’t at all feel guilty. I believed that the businesses were the ones that were in the wrong if they conducted such practices. I didn’t directly say it in the post, but I do believe that this should be left to government intervention as it’s difficult to hold consumers accountable like this. My actions were, as I see it, compared to slavery and killing pet dogs. My comment was removed. Was the claim I made rude in the context of this post? Maybe I don’t recognize that I have a douchey tone in my writing? From how I see it, I was being civil and I wanted to have a discussion. I don’t think that they would have reacted this way if I were being civil, so I wanted some opinions if I went about this the wrong way.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
eHql1SyT8DXWn7tpjy1hIkQYXmB7PY7H
|
a7dhky
|
{
"description": "wishing this sub had less teen drama",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for wishing this sub had less teen drama?
|
Those posts are exhausting because they often involve limited information and common miscommunications that simply need a face to face convo not strangers' judgment on the internet.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
DTfxwAFX783Zt43hIiMjukWNp4Oc1obp
|
aod1xz
|
{
"description": "leaving line to get random employee to ask for back-up to",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for leaving line to get random employee to ask for back-up to?
|
@Michaels getting stuff to do Tye-Die(Tie-Dye?) and get to the line up front.
There’s one older lady doing her best to move the line along for a sudden rush of 8-10 customers. She calls out for backup...no reply.
I stand in the number 6 or 7 spot with my fiancée. She is working her butt off, and no one has come for about 3-7 minutes. This is admittedly, the most debatable part.
I leave my lady to hold the line(she knows I’m wild) and I go to the back. In the way, way back, I see two employees. One was helping a customer, the other was stocking shelves.
I walk up to the gentleman and say, “Excuse me sir, there’s a huge line up front and there’s no back-up, can you put in a call?” Then as I quickly turned on my heel, I threw over my shoulder, “we have been waiting awhile...thank you!”
Then, when I return(to see my lady had moved up two spots but three customers had been added. Then, within 2 minutes, an employee came from right around the end corner, next to the door.
Idk...but...AITA?!?!
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
g3D7We9RiTWXV9dMxHUxsiFEUAO5vyPP
|
b2e4cu
|
{
"description": "not wanting to give my ex's little sister rides to places anymore",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to give my ex’s little sister rides to places anymore?
|
We use to be close and hangout, but we don’t anymore and the only time she texts me, is if she needs a ride. Sometimes she only has $5 or nothing at all and it’s getting old. But my ex has a new girlfriend and I always wonder why doesn’t she ask her? I should be the LAST RESORT if any. I know this seems silly, but i tend to overthink ...
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
phqxSniaNwKVy3X7NQVg3oA0zs9joOe6
|
b7vii5
|
{
"description": "fake coughing at Disney",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for fake coughing at Disney?
|
Hey Reddit! So currently I’m on spring break at Disney! When riding a water ride a group of teenage girls got on. It was a big raft water ride at Animal Kingdom with plenty of seats.
However, when the ride started one of the girls pulls out a juul. I am VERY against all forms of smoking since that’s how I lost my grandfather. My little (who was also on the ride) has sensitive lungs and has trouble breathing in areas where people smoke.
So, I (Being the dumb teenager I am) start fake cough every time the took a hit and thanks to mild allergies, I can sound a bit wheezy. My little sister picked up and started coughing as well. Another woman on the ride told the teens to stop but they didn’t listen.
After the ride my mom scolded me and told my dad who thought what I did was hysterical.
So Reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
t8Ped4i9z5adM6kUQAOjnenCuIJ67f4D
|
agtc8q
|
{
"description": "wanting to schedule a date at least two days in advance",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA: for wanting to schedule a date at least two days in advance?
|
I went on one date with a girl and I had good daily chats with her for a full month. 2-3 weeks later she asked to go on a date for the next day and I told her I'd like to know at least two days in advance before going on a date. She didn't like that but said whatever and that she had no opportunity for the next 5 or so days. Two days later she asks me again if I want to go on a date, for the next day, and I tell her I still want to know ahead of time, not the day before. She never replied to that, abruptly ending a consistent and enjoyable month long chat.
A second date still gives me a bit of anxiety, so I'd like to know ahead of time. Not to mention I'm driving 40min both ways and paying for the date, so it's costing me like $50, the least I could get is a two day notice. Note my schedule is open(self employed, but I do work a fair bit every day) so she knows I could go on a date any day of the week.
I know rejecting a girl's second date request twice is never smooth, and I *am* basically available 24/7
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
vyXpGpbL0yOZ7r8GvklnDX5BVn8RvWCX
|
b53ngt
|
{
"description": "confronting this dog's owner",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I confront this dog's owner?
|
I was on a walk with my dog and get to the end of the street, which is about 1 mile from my house. We get to basically the end of the road and a dog CHARGES from its driveway into the street, at my dog, and at this point they are both growling and barking at each other.
My dog got scared and escaped from her collar, both dogs still bucking at each other until the other starts chasing mine back toward the direction of my home but stopped about 30 feet after. I chase after my dog to make sure she goes back home and never booked it so hard in my life
Not only was I concerned that my dog was going to bite the other, but there would have been hell to pay if my dog got hurt lol.
Animals may be territorial but this one coming away from its home and into a public street to go after mine is not okay, and I'm thinking about confronting the owner.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Gp6wHLTxw7QQAeP7EZQ0tPACR9xEaNXT
|
9ycwct
|
{
"description": "not buying Christmas presents for my christian relatives",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not buying Christmas presents for my Christian relatives?
|
Long story short, my family is ethnically Jewish but religiously Christian. For personal reasons, I went back to Judaism, but my parents are still Christian. We have never really exchanged Christmas presents in my family, and we just cook a nice dinner together instead (my parents pay for the groceries). However, I do get gifts from my mom’s parents, and I get them a gift for the sake of reciprocity.
The other day, I was talking to my dad, and he started pressuring me to buy gifts for my immediate family. This is strange to me for three reasons:
1. He knows I can’t afford it (our family is large, and I’m in grad school).
2. Our immediate family doesn’t exchange gifts.
3. Now that I’m more serious about Judaism, I’m trying not to celebrate Christian holidays.
I told my dad that I wasn’t getting gifts for the immediate family, and he was really snippy about it. He is not getting me a gift, so I’m not sure why he expects me to buy for him and my siblings. I’ve thought about offering to chip in on groceries for our holiday meal, but I don’t want to buy gifts. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ahTPQWGqQLNw3XQ99lf2i9sV0jbeDeFP
|
aviuka
|
{
"description": "snitching on my classmate",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For snitching on my classmate?
|
First of all, I want to apologise for my English because it isn’t my first language, but I hope that you’ll understand because I want an opinion from someone who is unbiased.
Today I was attending a knowledge competition. It is important to tell you that this was a highly rated competition and that if you win the regional round (the one I wrote today was only school round so one level under) you can be accepted to certain colleges without writing the entrance exam.
The test wrote about 25 people including me and one of my classmates (girl). So, I was writing a test for which you have to study for about a month or more because it’s really hard and it isn’t a normal thing you learn in school. For a moment I looked next to me where the girl is sitting, and she is just looking up the answers on her phone! Which was totally unacceptable. She is known to cheat on tests, but tests are just her thing, so I try to don’t care but this one was the last drop. When we finished writing the test I went to the teacher and tell him about it. He said that he will think about what he will do with it.
Now I fell really terrible about it but on the other hand, she was cheating and this could affect other students. Also, thanks to the cheating she is straight A student and sometimes she exalts herself above the rest and that just isn't fair.
Thank you for all the replies.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
HAzeIbzZzzncH8MVqw9VIwx3WQHLlKKI
|
awnds0
|
{
"description": "telling my parents it's wrong to push my dog on a sled",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my parents it's wrong to push my dog on a sled?
|
This just happened around a half an hour ago. I had gotten home from work to find my parents helping my six year old niece and my four year old nephew go sledding in our backyard. This was all good and well until I heard them mention sending my dog down the hill. My dog is an 11 year old extremely healthy daschund chihuahua mix weighing in at around 10 pounds and he hates the snow.
I tell my parents that they could not do it as our hill is very steep and has a lot of spots covered in thorn bushes towards the end. I went in my house to start making some cocoa, going back outside to find my parents laughing and putting my dog on the sled. He was not having it and was struggling to get off when my mother gave him a hard shove. I watch in terror as my dog rockets down the hill.
When he finally came to the end of the hill he hit a large bump of leaves sending him flying as they had been somewhat packed by the snow. His back end hits a small tree giving out a yelp and goes a little further before coming to a stop. I ran down the hill to pick him up and get him inside. When I finally got to the top of the hill and ran him inside I asked my parents what was wrong with them. They're telling me I was in the wrong now and saying he's okay and that there was nothing wrong with it.
When I got him inside and set him down to see if he would walk okay he began to limp, I'm going to bring him to the vet after work tomorrow to check him out but my parents are still telling me I was in the wrong. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
gsMpFlO8kdOF1oOPZ4wvcwFy0xAYPZDC
|
arvp6r
|
{
"description": "emailing the Professor that no one is here for the test",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for emailing the Professor that no one is here for the test?
|
Greetings , so here it goes I am doing my postgraduate studies and for it we have a final group project for which I have worked really hard (technically I kept the group together and made sure everything was right and on time) so we had one last experiment we had to conduct which was a 7 hour test it consisted of weighing each specimen and then boiling for 5 hours and weighing again. So we all agreed to arrive at 08:00 am. And I commute for studies (1 hr drive) so I wake up at 6 and leave at 6:45 and reach there around 8:00 and no one is there. 1 group member messages me saying he will be late for 10 minutes (no big deal) but the other 3 just weren't there. 2 of us did the weighing and righting the weight (would be faster If all were there) so now it's 09:15 and others are no where to be found (their phone was off) so I email our project advisor saying that no one is here except 2 of us and the project should have started at 08:00 am. And Professor replies saying he is dissatisfied is the other members and know he knows who is interested in the project. So now it's 09:30 am. One guy shows up and now I leave for meeting and then a class. The remaining 2 show up at 12:15 pm all pissed of at me. Saying they were busy and bad weather and meeting (excuses and I came from other city before them in bad weather),they were like you shouldn't have emailed the professor (prof warned them of a grade F last warning) and they wouldn't do it of I were late and I replied saying I would have let you guys know that I will be late. We were supposed to finish at 02:00 pm but finish at 04:00 pm so AITA or NTA for letting my Professor know that none of the group members are here for the test?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
aws5rO9OWck7uxI0Bs7hOc0JJ8on9tux
|
b5u9uz
|
{
"description": "asking my wife to stop talking always talking french with her family while I'm at the table",
"pronormative_score": 120,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
AITA for asking my wife to stop talking always talking French with her family while I'm at the table?
|
First, I have no intention of making her speak any language and she and I both speak multiple languages so this isn't a post about "speak American".
I recently had dinner with her parents and for the entire duration, except for introductions with me, they spent it speaking French, a language I do not know. I sat there mostly wondering what was going on and was just confused when they erupted in laughter. After dinner I asked if it's possible for me to not come to these dinners if I can't understand the conversation or at least speak English at the table. She got irritated by this and told me that her parents weren't comfortable with English but I should still come because it would disrespectful not to show up to meet her parents if they are in the city. I was kinda ticked off because I don't think I have to be in this situation. Although, I could have probably taken a more calm tone, She said I'm just being selfish and went to work. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 13,
"OTHER": 109,
"EVERYBODY": 10,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 6
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 120,
"WRONG": 23
}
|
RIGHT
|
ec3oKzqtSfZYwYVUfnRmCRpGIBpxjQNk
|
aocgw3
|
{
"description": "not caring that my wife doesn't know what she wants to eat",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not caring that my wife doesn’t know what she wants to eat.
|
Hello again read it I’m bad with a slightly less sexual topic this time. I imagine this will might be split along gender lines for some reason but here we go.
Am I the asshole for not caring that my wife doesn’t know what she wants to eat. Let me explain whenever my wife wants me to cook for dinner or take her out to a restaurant she never knows what she wants or where she wants to go. I get answers like oh whatever you want or oh make anything. Until I actually decide on something then she doesn’t want that.
This is been something that is been happening daily for the last seven years. Until recently I decided to stop caring. Now when she asked me to cook for her but she doesn’t know what I just walk away and say “let me know when you do” then go play video games. Now when she doesn’t know what restaurant she wants to go to, no problem luckily I know exactly what restaurant I want to go to and I walk right inside.
No I personally feel great she however is becoming more and more irritated at the fact that I don’t play the well what about this, well what about that, well what about here, well what about their, game with her anymore. Also I’m getting to eat a lot more of the food I like :).
I wouldn’t mind so much if when she said whatever you want it actually meant whatever I want instead of let me shoot down your ideas for the next 30 minutes.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
cBKKBUH3iV4OnYVcdD73VFIAXOHqrcU4
|
b60jzz
|
{
"description": "cutting a childhood friend out of my life",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For cutting a childhood friend out of my life?
|
So this happened a couple years ago but I'd like to hear what you all think about it.
This guy (A) was one of my best friends for years but we lost contact after high-school, you know how it goes.
A few years back I start a new job and A happens to work there so we start to hang out again. I'd heard he recently got married and when I meet his wife they seem like the perfect couple.
Fast forward a few months and I hear from a mutual friend that A is getting divorced! I hadn't caught up with A for a few weeks since we worked separate shifts. Then I hear that within a couple weeks of the split he's living with another, visibly pregnant woman...
The same mutual friend tells me he didn't just cheat, he was also abusive. Hearing it from 1 friend was bad but 2 other friends told me the same thing. So now I'm re-thinking my friendship with A and when I hear that the abuse was bad enough for neighbours to call the police I decide I want nothing to do with him.
A few months go by when I get a phone call from A. I'm planning to tell him where to go, but his new gf is with him on speaker and they want to tell me the baby arrived. Also, he's said such great things about me to her, she wants to meet me. Well now I figure I'll at least meet to ask him for his side of the story.
As we decide where to meet up, the gf takes the phone off speaker so we can chat a bit one-on-one. At this stage I'm worried so I subtly ask questions about the relationship and she tells me he's getting help for anger issues. Then I mention the rumor I heard about the neighbours calling the police. She tells me it wasn't much, just a noise complaint. But then I realise something, I was talking about the police being called to a fight with his wife, but she's talking about it happening while SHE'S been living with him.
Now I've made up my mind, I'll still go and I'll let him tell his side of the story, but unless he has an incredibly good explanation, I don't want to see him again and I'd advise her to get out of there for the sake of her and their baby.
So the night of the meet up arrives, and they don't show. I send a couple texts but they don't respond. Oh well, it makes me feel better about cutting him out of my life.
3 days later a friend of ours from high-school I'm still in touch with calls me to tell me A's partner died of a heart attack on the night they were supposed to meet me. He also knows the ex-wife and she told him one of the reasons they used to fight was that he used drugs. They even once had the police called to a fight they had while they were on holiday in another country!
This is the point where I decide to cut off all contact. He's texted me a few times over the past couple years but I ignored him.
So tell me Reddit, A is definitely an asshole but am I one too?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
WMjpA3W0P2kjqBOw0ARmIjcZ5EleVG6Z
|
b0jj1l
|
{
"description": "getting back at my fwb",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for getting back at my fwb?
|
So I met this girl (let's call her Sarah) through bumble around 2 months back. We had a casual fling, but we both really enjoyed each other's company. We then made plans to hang out at least 3-4 times a week, not just purely for sex. So, around 2 weeks ago, I asked offhand if she's seen anyone else recently. She was quiet for a minute or two then said that she metup with an old friend of hers who was in the city for a few days (he lives abroad) who they had a thing going on before. She told me that they slept together for a night.
​
I was devastated hearing this, but I didnt let it show. I messaged some of my other connections in bumble and setup a date last saturday night. Sarah asked me to watch a movie with her last saturday, but I told her I was busy. So I met and slept with the other girl. Come monday, I told Sarah the truth that I saw someone else. She was visibly hurt and wouldn't talk to me until today.
Was I an asshole? I just did what she did
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
YLHdK7Ve7dwIjKwiiSKaX221hQPGwuOa
|
b7oth8
|
{
"description": "letting a friend go in too deep",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for letting a friend go in too deep?
|
Jesus the title sounds like a porno.
Once upon a time, there was this chick I did not like. Why I didn't like her? Because she was loved.
Was it jealousy?
Maybe so. I came to grips with that.
Was it zhe big titties?
Maybe. But I do NOT gamble with maybes.
Was it annoyance?
Yes indeed.
Fast forward two years, we became close friends and I caught a girl who's one cool gal.
My friend however, gonna call her Marie, kept changing guys like they were socks. She's not a ho by any means, I promise. She dates people and moves on when shit goes awry. Sometimes it's not her fault and she be with assholes, realizes that and yeets.
But this one dude named...Richard came into play and fuck shit up. Richard didn't have a good...emotional mindset to rejection.
Richard comes outta nowhere and starts taking her out to each, taking her out for her birthday, driving her wherever, all that jazz. I didn't care. In school, they started showing affection. At first it was a hug and a loving hand hold departure, now it's a full makeout session. I don't care.
I don't have any beef with that. I don't care. Just as long I can look away and continue bout my day.
They weren't together. He didn't want the title of boyfriend of Marie. Of... Marie... Okay.
She found his "secondary" social media page after a friend alerted her about it and I was flabbergasted off of what I saw.
Richard's Bio basically said, "I love Black Porn and I'm single." She was in Awe. Fetish for black bitches. We had a long ass convo about meeting good guys and not nice guys. I didn't care if I was a goddamn hypocrite, but I said it's better if she's single so she can focus on her dream of becoming travel scientist.
Coupl' month later, they dating. Welp.
I thought they were dating because he trapped her into the relationship because she didn't want to feel responsible for whatever his emotional meltdown could be. It could be violence against others or himself, exposing her secrets yadda yadda. This was just my theory based on previous experiences with his "LoVe LiFe". And this is where the situation gets my attention.
I told my girlfriend that even though I find all humans to be art, he's fucking garbage and they he should get lost in hell.
My theory was proven wrong, and she wants him to be (basically) sugar daddy
I told my friend we shouldn't give her any advice on her relationship because we already tried.
AITA for thinking that way or am I too protective of my friend?
WIBTA for letting the castle break on it own? I don't want anything to do with it now.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
RQvKoL64mtS9UfPSk1DWzlkVYrYmDf5j
|
b5t8hr
|
{
"description": "breaking up with my girlfriend because she won't spend the night",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my girlfriend because she won’t spend the night?
|
So my girlfriend (26F) and I (27M) dated for three years. Let’s call her Jessie. We met on Xbox and I moved from one state to pretty much across the country to be with her. Jessie’s great, she’s sweet and smart but I never really fell in love with her.
I broke up with her about 9 months ago because of her very controlling and insane mother. I decided to date another girl that I fell madly in love with but eventually turned out to be a very toxic and immature person. So we broke up.
Now I’m considering dating Jessie again. We talked and hung out a lot for the past three months and just a few days ago we decided to be in a relationship again.
My main issue with her is her mother. Jessie pretty much lives and breathes for her mother. Any time her mother tells her to do something, she does it. If her mother tells her to be home at 7 PM, she’s home by 7 PM. Jessie’s mother has hated me since we first met, because since day one she’s tried to tell me what to do and how to act and I just politely tell her to fuck off. She’s super controlling and even goes as far as getting up and walking across the house to Jessie’s bedroom to tell her to let the dogs out, when Jessie’s mom is right next to the door, just because Jessie’s mom doesn’t want to stop playing her video game. She’s put 12,000 hours into Destiny, and is well on her way to that with Destiny 2, and if anything gets into her way with her gaming, she gets highly upset.
For the past few days we were talking about her coming over today and spending the night and leaving at 6 PM (her mom usually makes her be home at noon if she spends the night). I made sure every day to ask her if she’s going to spend the night, and she promised that she would.
Today she shows up and tells me that her mom convinced her that she shouldn’t spend the night. I explain to her that she’s 26 and still worships her mom like she’s Jesus Christ, and she says she knows and gives me some random excuse.
This wouldn’t be that big of a deal if this was the very first time this has happened. It happens on a weekly basis, she’s apparently not allowed to spend the night twice at my house, only once a week, because she makes an excuse if it comes to spending the night twice. I believe her problem is that she tries to make everyone happy and is too scared to take a stand one way or another.
So I was thinking about breaking up with her in a few hours and just go our separate ways. I’m so tired of being let down by her and her controlling mother. AITA?
TL;DR: Considering breaking up with my girlfriend because she follows her control freak mother’s every whim.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
XYi7giJeXkj45kwtrLahTLGNR48HxOWC
|
9vgmb4
|
{
"description": "spreading news about my cheating girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for spreading news about my cheating girlfriend?
|
So recently i broke up with my girlfriend because i found out she was cheating on me, and of course i told my buds about it. A school being a school, as usual, rumors fly fast. Soon enough the whole school knew about this. And she blames it on me for spreading 'lies' about her cheating on me. She was hanging out with him before school, after school, and everything else in between. I'll be damned if the school didn't know about this even after seeing that. They even snuck out together before. And she was still saying she wasn't seeing anyone outside when i asked her. So after me and my best dudes did some research we found out that she WAS cheating. So i just decided to break it off. Take not that at this point we were in 8 months already. After we broke up she got really pissed at me about this whole thing and she called me a baby for not being able to keep the news to myself. And she really hurt me, so i don't know what to do now. Be vulnerable and take the blame or stand up to her because i have nothing to be afraid of and have done nothing wrong whatsoever. Please help :) much appreciated <3
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
04MWUBb31qkfNWg8pHTcdOD8PuMZNyBc
|
aqfptd
| null |
AITA because my friend got seriously injured in an accident?
|
I live in a metropolitan city in Delhi. I own a motorcycle and I let my friend use it at times (friend was jobless at the time and I was letting him hang around till he get settled. I had a small studio-ish apartment and I happily shared it).
Back to the story, I left for my parents place as I had got typhoid. Now I had to come back in the middle of my treatment to see another friend of mine who had her birthday that day. I had a gift delivered to my place (which the neighbours had) and I obviously needed it before the clocks striked 12 in thr AM. So I had some fever and I reach Delhi and call up my friend. Thats how the conversation went.
"M" is me and "V" is my friend.
M: Dude I am about to reach in 30. Where are you?
V: I am at "x". Meet me at the subway station there.
M: you have my motorcycle?
V: yeah
M: ok
This "x" is substantially far from my own place. I came all the way here because I wanted him to handover my motorcycle to me.
I called him 2-3 times as it was 11:15 already. Conversation again
M: Dude wtf, where are you?
V: Sorry, I wont be able to give you your bike.
M: wtf do you mean. I want MY bike!
V: sorry.
I called him 10-15 odd times, he'd pick up but not speak. I took a taxi back home. While in the taxi i get a call.
Some guy (g)
G: are you V's friend?
M: yeah
G: he crashed. Get here
I reach the hospital. His leg is all busted up, it had almost split in two and it was barely hanging on.
He had jumped a red light and boom. He crashed.
He had a fucking meltdown at the hospital. Calling me names and telling me he crashed because of me. Because I was constantly calling. Because i made him lose his mental peace. (Btw by the time he had crashed, I had stopped calling).
We let this go. He came back, recovered and still wanted to crash at my place. I let him. We went out for some drinks on my motorcycle (which took a shit ton of money to get repaired). While getting back, i said jokingly "ill leave you here". He walked away in anger. I was with a female friend of mine and he threw such a hissy fit that its indescribable. Obviously i tried to reason with him but he wouldn't have none of it. Then he bolted, took a taxi and went to my place and said it again.
"You're making fun of my injury, it was you who caused it".
I told him he can leave if he wanted to. Later he texted with profanities and I said. I still haven't responded. I think i should just tell him to leave and take his stuff with him.
I am sorry if its like a cross between WIBTA AND AITA.
TL;DR: friend crashed my motorcycle and got hurt when i constantly called him to give me back my motorcycle.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Hm3fdXJ5tdoGuJu6DX7SdMXJ8mlKAP9t
|
afpgc8
|
{
"description": "not talking to my best friend",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not talking to my best friend?
|
I have depression and anxiety and I regularly get really overwhelmed. when this happens I usually isolate myself from everyone until I feel better. I have told my best friend this countless times, she knows this, yet everytime I don't message her she texts me long emotional paragraphs talking about how she's sorry and how she's crying, or so sad about how we're drifting apart.
usually when people message asking if I'm okay I'll send them a quick text saying I'm okay, just need a little longer or whatever. however, I feel like she constantly makes this about herself. always bringing her woes and troubles into it, which I really don't need when I'm in those moods.
I'm currently getting bombarded with messages from her and her friends that she's recruited into trying to get me to respond. most of them are mainly lots of references to herself 'going to have a cry' and the likes.
I feel guilty that I've made her cry, albeit indirectly. but AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
822XdM0F34uMr3ydcUWFdpKsM0hI5AAe
|
b3vw3g
|
{
"description": "not telling people I'm in a relationship",
"pronormative_score": 24,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I don't tell people I'm in a relationship?
|
This sounds bad, but I'll elaborate. I don't often tell people I am in a relationship **unless the conversation warrants it** (i.e. the discussion shifts to talking about our partners, etc.)
In my perspective, this isn't necessarily "lying" per se, as much as it is the omission of irrelevant details.
My primary reason for this is that I have been criticized before (particularly by men) claiming that I'm entitled for thinking they "want me" because I told them I was in a relationship straight-up.
This has been an area of contention for me because, on one hand, it does seem a bit odd to disclaim that outright, but on the other hand, I have gotten shit for "leading people on," if I don't reveal my relationship status early on in a conversation.
My boyfriend is uncomfortable by my decision to keep our relationship relatively private unless I am asked/the context permits it, but he also has a better sense of intuition than I do.
My environment makes it so I constantly interact with individuals my age that I'm obligated to be nice/courteous to, and I am a petite and relatively conventionally attractive woman. This makes my boyfriend worry because I have been confronted both publicly and privately by people after "leading them on," which compromises my safety.
My partner isn't insecure and our relationship isn't unhealthy, but AITA if I decide to continue only discussing my relationship status when asked or when the social context permits it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 24,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
YuFw4b3frE2S5aJckiXgvpw2v0LZAKHb
|
b43wn2
| null |
AITA girlfriend threatened me for being nice
|
I am a senior in high school to graduate I need anatomy.
A tutor helped me pass so I want to repay her with just hanging out
My girlfriend got mad at me for telling her this
She the threatened to break up with me
My message is "everything will work out honey"
She responded with "If you go through with this it will not work out.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
DryY1QUIHsr742M7crVxDxxBpmAGSocZ
|
9ul86i
|
{
"description": "talking on the phone in a shared rideshare",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for talking on the phone in a shared rideshare?
|
So I'm trying to get a gauge on what the social norms are in this kind of situation. I called a rideshare carpool and got in the back -- my mom called so I picked up and was making small talk with her about her day. The driver picked up someone else and we continued on our way, and I continued chatting with my mom.
After a minute or two, the other person said that I was being rude by talking on the phone and that I should stop. She said that she was just trying to get home and didn't want to listen to my conversation. This was surprising to me, since I had always been under the impression that it was normal to have regular-volume conversations in rideshare carpool situations, similar to being in a cafe or public bus.
Still, rideshare carpools are a fairly recent thing, so I want to see what gut reaction Reddit folks have to these situations. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
EyVfieSjLtsigvTrr5jYSgTa8inrsYyx
|
b9nv6k
|
{
"description": "telling my friends GF she is obsessive over my wedding",
"pronormative_score": 16,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my friends GF she is obsessive over my wedding
|
So, just some background information first; We've been planning this wedding for 2 years & my friend has never been on the guest list, & when we started planning she was single, we saw each other about once every other month & spoke sporadically. Once she met her girlfriend she started seeing me more as we could do couples stuff but it's still not often we all see each other.
A couple who are invited to the wedding are very close friends I game with who live in a different city but we speak & skype often & visit each other for long weekends. This becomes relevant I promise.
Anyway, the other night her girlfriend (GF) messaged me asking what time they needed to be at the hotel for the wedding as my friend needed to book time off work. I told her that they weren't invited to the wedding & maybe she'd confused it with the party we were hosting after we returned from our honeymoon. No reply to the message straight away but saw it.
I went to bed & the next morning had messages off both the GF & my friend. My friend simply stating how she'd sort it but was disappointed in me & her GF going off at me about how we were such close friends & how I'd ruined her plans to propose to my friend at MY wedding & that she wouldn't forgive me, especially as I'd invited "Random geeks off the internet" (Told you it was relevant).
I muted the chat & got on with my day. When I did look back through her messages she'd played the gay card (I'm bi) & said she'd been dreaming about the wedding & planning how and when to propose. I told her she was obsessive & that she needed to realise that it was my wedding.
I got a message from my friend telling me I shouldn't have been rude to her GF & that we'd known each other a lot longer than the other friends I'm inviting, however they know my favourite colour & my partners middle name whereas she called my partner Bill for 2 years. I told her if she didn't like it they didn't have to talk to me again & they should just forget about the party though if they apologised I'd reconsider letting them attend the party though the apology had to be in person.
Not heard from either, the GF has removed me as a friend but not blocked me.
Tl;dr - Friends GF and her call me an asshole when I tell the GF she is being obsessive over my wedding which she was never invited to.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 16,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yo67TIWvwa7fqVBO9v4a2MKjBqeSFBKR
|
b912rg
|
{
"description": "doing something about this teacher",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA to do something about this teacher?
|
This just happened 15 minutes ago.
I asked my sixth period Spanish teacher about a test grade. Now, I was out when the test was done and couldn't get it taken for 4 days after. It's been about a week and she still hasn't graded it yet. I asked her about it at the beginning of class here and, in front of 27 other students that [most] already don't like me because of my interests, said "Well you should have used your brain to make it up earlier. Maybe I will wait to grade it as long as it took for you to make it up." I was gone all of the earlier days, and the marking period ends in 2 days, meaning I would get a 0/36 for something I couldn't control and did. Everyone during this speaking activity since this happened has been harassing me over it, insulting me. She has been ignoring it entirely at her desk on her phone.
I'm livid and want to talk to my principal over the matter for two reasons: one, I am scared for my grade and two, I feel outed to the entire class over a private conversation about my grade. I just don't want to be that dick that probably gets her in large trouble over something that might be no big deal.
Am I an asshole if I were to talk to my principal over it? Am I petty for getting so angry over this? Or do I have a right to be mad at this?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
wyygFfeCiykeuwSGtzzHxaIL1Oyx7Mb3
|
ay9t36
|
{
"description": "wanting to return a birthday gift from my father",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to return a birthday gift from my father
|
So my dad took us to the shopping centre, while we were there he went to scotch and soda to exchange some stuff, used the exchange money to buy my brother a set of clothes and he bought me a pair of jeans, the thing is i told him multiple times before that I didn't need any more clothes and he doesn't have to give me birthday credit to spend. I told him idk and I don't really need anything. But he kept pushing so I gave up and just said yes to whatever he thought was nice. The jeans he got were originally $200 AU (discounted to around $100) but he spent $40 of credit and $50 extra, approx. I'm thinking to just return the jeans buy something else that I actually would want, and give him the $40, or all the money if I can't really think of anything. But from what I've heard in other stories, that this is a dick move and is rude.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
KRmN1VuPSUlRcZ9Z4EwwB0yoCpave98T
|
a19u2v
|
{
"description": "ignoring my friend",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for ignoring my friend?
|
Kind of a long story, but I’ll try to make it as short as possible.
We met online a few years ago.
Talk everyday for a long time.
We live in opposite sides of the country. He comes to visit this part of the country because he’s never been here and stays at my place. (Until there nothing happened.. we were just friends.)
A few days later he tells me that because everyone kept asking him if i was his girlfriend, he started to think about it. I said I’ve never felt that way about him and if he thought this was too harsh and wanted to stop talking to me, it was fine. He says he doesn’t want to lose the friendship so let’s talk normally.
He lives with his family, which he doesn’t get along with, says he wants to move to another place, so I get him a job here really near where I live.
Of course I show him around, I introduce him to my RL friends. And on a saturday I just have a break-down on a club because of my BF, and by this point i’m pretty fucked up and don’t know what’s happening, I just remember I’m crying and my friends are taking me out of the club. A while after, someone tells me this friend, at the club just said “I can’t believe she is gonna suffer because of that guy. I don’t feel good so I’m leaving”
Take it into consideration that it’s his first time in this place, he doesn’t know the city... wtf........
So in between dealing with my ex BF, being ashamed of the break-down, and asking what was up with his reaction, I just choose to deal with one thing at a time, the most importante is dealing with the ex-BF. So I have been pretty much ignoring this friend for about 3 days.. but he doesn’t stop messaging me like nothing happened.. AITA??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
HMZ5vLd7ZAxZLYCa7yuulXDVOHJNSuyq
|
b0ugui
|
{
"description": "rejecting a Girl that I wasn't into",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for Rejecting a Girl that I wasn't into?
|
I met this girl through a mutual group of friends. I am really good friends with one of the people from the group, let's call him Ben. Because I would hangout with Ben I would see this girl often, over time it kind of seemed like this girl was flirting with me but I couldn't really tell. Eventually the flirting stopped but one night I was with Ben and we were talking about her. He informed me that she really was into me and I didn't really know what to say to I kind of just brushed it off and said I guess I didn't really realize. I didn't think Ben would go tell her what we talked about, but then that night the girl comes to me and explains everything and that she liked me. I told her to give me a day to think about everything, mostly because I didn't expect to come to my door and I was kind of taken off guard. I decided I was not into her and had no interest in dating her, especially because I would not want our relationship to make anything weird with Ben if we ever broke up. So I decided to tell her that I was not interested and that I was didn't really feel like I could commit to a relationship at this point in my life, which is true. But now some friends are telling me that I should have at least tried going on a date because we are friends but I feel like that could have made things worse. I feel like I handled things fairly well, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 11,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
YyC4F26D1hSsQZLynfax9WK7sMmjoMYd
|
av63my
|
{
"description": "not paying my sisters car note while she's in school",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA if I don’t pay my sisters car note while she’s in school
|
Sorry for formatting, grammar, etc. I’m on mobile, yada yada yada.
So last night my sister got into a car wreck, (her fault, no one was hurt seriously besides bruises and being sore.) She was freaking out because the both of us work CNA jobs which don’t make very much, while also in school for medical professions. She would start her program a year ahead of me, but it’s very hard to work during either programs so both of us would have to be PRN or not work at all. Some people work while doing it but it’s insanely hard and stressful, especially since you have to have a certain grade point average throughout otherwise you get dropped from the program.
Last night, she was talking about having to push back starting the program so she could work and pay her car note, car insurance, etc. She had already pushed it back a year before that, and I didn’t want that. I told her to not worry about it, I’ll pay her note and insurance. I’ll work, and I was going to push back my school and my plans for life.
She immediately began looking at cars online, cars well over 10k. My grandfather is coming to pay for the down payment for a car Thursday, which he doesn’t have the money to really do. He had said before that he would help me pay for my transmission to be fixed, not the entire thing since I didn’t want him paying that much money, but now I can’t ask him for any money. The guilt is weighing on me even having him pay my sisters down payment.
I was planning on buying my own car because the transmission on my old car is about to go out, and wanted to move in with my boyfriend later on this year. My mom is controlling, beyond so, and doesn’t help pay for very much. She’s never truly had much money, and what money she gets she blows easily. We now live with my cousins while my sister and I share a tiny bedroom, and she pays less here than when we were in an apartment. I’ve been unemployed and just now starting to work again, the entire time I was unemployed my sister payed for everything I needed. Bills, paying for clothes, groceries etc.
I had a talk with my boyfriend, and I don’t want to pay her car note. I want to move out, I want to go to school, I want to get a car that doesn’t shake and the engine doesn’t scare me that it’s going to fall apart every time I drive it. I came home and told my mom this, and she told me “It doesn’t work that way. You said you would pay it last night, you don’t have a choice.”
So I’m sitting in the bathroom, trying to cry as quietly as possible while texting my boyfriend. AITA or would I be if I didn’t pay the car note for her new car?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
HZP2vsMULDp7SpnwFKUj6SAv7wy0s81M
|
b9tbev
| null |
AITA - pressured into charity donation at work
|
For the past few years, my company has done a money/items drive to benefit mothers and babies in our area who are in need. Every year the company seems to struggle to get people to fully support it, myself included. This year my manager is expecting everyone in my area to provide a combined $300, which would come down to about $5 a person. Regardless of whether or not i could afford to spare $5 or so, I do not feel that charity should be a mandated thing, especially from an employer. AITA for not wanting to donate on these grounds?
&#x200B;
TLDR Work is expecting me to donate to a charity drive it is doing, not comfortable being *forced* to donate to any cause
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
DxC2zfP7pICU4YzeFl7Tjge2UAhtCtHi
|
a13ukn
| null |
AITA my boyfriend told me this was the worst birthday because of me
|
AITA// Today is my boyfriends birthday.
We have a thing going on where we give gifts a few days before our birthdays because we’re so excited, so i gave him my gifts to him this past weekend. I love birthdays and I love to buy presents, so I had fun shopping and picking things out that he would like and things he needs too. Not that it really matters but I spent around $900 on his gifts . Things like designer clothing, personalized items, colognes, ect. He told me after he opened the gifts that what I gave him aren’t gifts, because he could have gotten the items himself and that more expensive, luxurious items are gifts. I was a bit surprised by that but he played it off as a joke..
I made him a delicious dinner tonight with the help of my chef father. Got him one of his favorite types of cakes. We had a nice quiet time at home. He spent his time after work fixing his car while I made dinner.
While he was at work today, a female coworker of his and I were messaging over facebook. A few weeks back I found messages between them flirting. I reached out to her and she replied to me today. I actually felt bad for her after talking with her. My boyfriend was upset with me when I told him about the messages between her and I.
He told me to let it go and move on. He was distant ever since and stopped talking to me and decided to play video games. After awhile, he changed clothes and is now at the gym. We both have find friends on our iphones so i know he’s at the gym right now.
We talked deeply and intensely about this issue with the coworker when i found out about it’s few weeks ago but he gets annoyed very easily when i bring it up. I was very hurt about it because our whole relationship, he didn’t seem the type to be that way. He treats me like gold but things have been different ever since i found out.
He texted me telling after he left this evening that “this is the worst birthday he’s had in a long time all because of me.”
I feel really stupid and i cried so much when he sent me that text. I had the urge to self harm which is something i don’t do anymore. My thoughts spiraled out of control very quickly which is under control now but I fantasized about killing myself. I’m not suicidal. That was extremely over the top of me to think about but it was kept to myself aside from here. So dramatic. I guess it was just stress from the past few weeks that was brought back to me from the last text he sent.
I dont know. I’m just really sad right now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
t4XGulWj6e1pfoyPAOKO9pOyAWCNTDbq
|
b9c9qu
|
{
"description": "leaving notes on people's cars",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 23
}
|
AITA for leaving notes on people's cars?
|
I live in an apartment in MD with limited street parking and a 5-story garage where you get one space free and you can pay a monthly fee for a second space. My wife has her car in the free space on the ground floor, just like our apartment, and I pay for the other spot - but it's on the 5th floor and open to the air. I don't like to use it unless absolutely necessary because it takes 20 mins just to get myself and my car up and down the garage (leaving and coming back), and driving around corners with parked cars is nerve-wracking. It's a backup spot for when there is ZERO street parking left.
&#x200B;
There is a space on the street in front of my apartment that is way bigger than all the others. When someone wants to use the spot for moving, they have the local police put up signs the week before warning people not to park there between a certain time frame on a certain day. When no one is moving, it's just a normal (albeit huge) spot - nearly double the size of a standard space, but not quite (it's about 1 foot short of the threshold to make it two spaces). When I use this space, I pull up to the curb and leave as much room behind me as possible so that other people have another space to park.
&#x200B;
Now here's the questionable part. When I see someone not extending the same courtesy to me and other residents or their guests (who also park free), meaning they make it impossible for two cars to use the space, I take a picture of their license plate with the make and model of their car also visible, log their information into a personal spreadsheet (which I show to NO ONE), and then leave a note on their windshield to the effect of: "Please do not park like this! This space can easily fit two cars! Please either pull up to the curb or back to the line! Be more considerate of others! Thank you!". The exact wording changes each time because I do them all on the spot (never bothered to make a template or anything), and though I always use please and thank you, I also tend to use exclamation marks. If their parking is not egregious, and can still technically accommodate my car, I will park behind or in front of them as best I can without touching their car, sometimes getting as close as one inch out of necessity, and I will NOT leave a note or log their info.
&#x200B;
I have been doing this for about a year and a half, and so far have logged 36 offenders, or about 1 every 15 days. Today I felt the need to post this because I finally got a response note saying exactly: "Stop leaving Notes on people's cars and taking pics or we'll call the cops on your self-entitled ass...Thanks!". My first instinct was 'I can't wait to write another note with a disclaimer that what I'm doing is not at all illegal and they shouldn't waste their own (or the cops') time and just be a considerate driver (parker?)'. But I stopped to wonder...Am I the Asshole? (side note: is what I'm doing the legal definition of harassment, or something else?)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 23
}
|
WRONG
|
nZYSWPHhOEGHNgPYa93ISAotdz4AhwuY
|
b9xk29
|
{
"description": "dating/trying to get with 3 women casually? I haven't lied to anyone but I'm not super experienced on when something is exclusive or not",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: for dating/trying to get with 3 women casually? I haven't lied to anyone but I'm not super experienced on when something is exclusive or not.
|
Throwaway
So I'm 24 years old and I'm a virgin. I've never even kissed a girl on the lips so I don't really have a lot of experience as to how dating/hooking up works.
I recently have been trying tinder and bumble to try and get some experience or find someone to be with, (I'm not really sure I'm kinda just winging it). After using the app for about 2 months, I have been on a date with one girl (who admittedly semi catfished me), which we are set to go on another date, and I have another date set up tomorrow with another girl, as I'm texting someone else.
I hear that tinder and bumble are mostly casual but I was wondering by going on dates made it too serious and that I'm playing them? I dont really know if what I'm doing is messed up or not.
Tl;dr: Am I (24/M) the asshole for dating/trying to get with 3 women casually? I haven't lied to anyone but I'm not super experienced on when something is exclusive or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 10,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
dkA7uNBrsouNtEtSktv5MhOrWYAkRCyi
|
akn2ma
|
{
"description": "blocking communication with my ex",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for blocking communication with my ex?
|
So, context severely needed:
My ex and I dated for a good 2-3 months before she broke up with me. The way she did it is kind of important to the story. She invited me out to a school football game (which is not free), made me pay. I accepted. She broke up with me during halftime. She kept trying to contact me afterwards saying :we can still be friends" and stuff like that. Her friends have tried messaging me as well saying similar things, some just calling me a dick.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to deal and just blocking all of them?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
4cYZox9XT3IueMjzhfBIciI30YRFocv4
|
b19kql
|
{
"description": "being upset whenever my wife talks to her ex-boyfriend",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for being upset whenever my wife talks to her ex-boyfriend?
|
From time to time my wife will chat with her ex-boyfriend (the big one). To the best of my knowledge, the conversations are harmless, but the fact that she even wants to maintain a relationship with this person really throws me off. She has said before how terrible their relationship was and how badly he treated her, so when I first found out she was still texting him I was taken by surprise. The fact that I also had a very bad experience with an ex-girlfriend who spent a lot of time talking to another man while telling me he was nothing to worry about – he ultimately ended up becoming her new boyfriend – doesn't help the situation.
I’ve explained to her that I do not talk to any of my ex-girlfriends anymore and that I do not understand why she would want to stay in touch with the person who hurt her so badly, but she has never really answered this question. She has asked me in the past if I wanted her to stop talking to this person, to which I’ve repeatedly replied that I did not want to tell her who she can and cannot talk to, but that I would like her to let me know whenever he messages her. The problem is that most of the times she tells me that she has been talking to him I get upset or angry, and then she gets upset or angry. I can tell it is affecting our relationship and I am not sure what to do.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
kf5p5BPlSXEZ8q9eO1ArI4ZDJjiRntbf
|
ba7f75
|
{
"description": "having my dad pay for my college, but then ghosting him for the rest of my life",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for having my dad pay for my college, but then ghosting him for the rest of my life?
|
I'm in nursing school right now, and my dad is putting me through it. I am very gracious for this, and I know that this makes me more privileged than others. Although, I don't think this excuses what he has done (and is still doing) to my family.
I'm going to attempt to make a long story short. I'm originally from Spain (Mom = Spanish, Dad = Filipino). My dad is in the Navy so that's how he got himself to Spain where he met my mother. I grew up in Spain for 10 years, and then we got stationed in America. Ever since my dad got the chance to put the whole Atlantic Ocean between my mom and her family he has been treating her like complete, utter, absolute shit.
I think my dad has some sort of Bipolar Disorder or PTSD, but at this point I don't care because I wish he would drop dead tbh. For 11 years he has been treating my mom, 4 siblings, and I like garbage. He justifies it all because he pays for everything, and that sense of control/power over us has made him do some pretty ballsy stuff. My mom deals with it because she wants to wait until my youngest sister gets her college paid for by him, and then she wants to go back to Spain (I am going to make this happen for her).
For some more context, my mom is a pretty independant woman. Regardless of his verbal and sometimes physical abuse, she managed to get a job out here and she managed to learn english. Although, because of this, the abuse just gets worse. My dad always falsely accuses her of cheating and being a whore. This usually occurs when my mom goes to work, my dad really believes that she actually prostitutes herself. He will go around the house yelling that she's a whore, loud enough for my baby sisters to hear. I have tried to tell him to grow up and settle things the mature way, keep the arguing contained, my sisters don't have to hear this bs. He just takes this offensively and threatens to kick me out (this was back when I was in High School). Now that I really can get legaly kicked out, my mom told me to stay on his good side. My mom is depressed, and tired if this.
I am a couple months away from graduation. I am grateful that I get my school paid for, I am lucky. But I want to cut ties with this asshole after I'm done. I always imagine myself taking care of my mother when she gets older, but I will gladly pay for the cheapest, shitiest nursing home for my father. Thinking like this makes me feel slightly bad for him, because unlike him I am an empathetic human being, but the hell he has put us through for 11-12 years will never leave my psyche.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
DFgDDfBs8c74E28Fb1sKwSKauYRQnWDY
|
aqgw8i
|
{
"description": "not warning a girl about my abuser",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Not Warning A Girl About My Abuser?
|
Okay, to make a long story short.
I (22F) dated someone (M23) I've known my entire life, off on, for four years from 13 to 17, and he stuck around until I was 19 before I finally cut him off. I won't get into it, but he was emotionally, verbally, and sexually abusive and tried to rape me at one point. He's also a compulsive liar, and probably bipolar.
When I was 20 (he is a year older), I found out via a mutual friend he became engaged to someone. I talked to my lifelong friend about whether or not I should tell this girl what he's like, but chose not to out of fear of retaliation. He knows where I live and is military and has lots of guns.
&#x200B;
Recently I discovered, that less than six months after their marriage, they separated (unclear if officially divorced), are not on speaking terms, and she is pregnant (also unclear if his). I have a lot of guilt if this girl ended up knocked and divorced with an unstable and abusive person's child she has to care for for the rest of her life, and wonder if I could have prevented it by saying something two years ago.
&#x200B;
My SO (a wonderful, wonderful human being nothing like my ex) and my friends assure me I was not the asshole because of my fear of him and PTSD and trauma from the abuse, but a girl I'm barely aquaintinces recently made a comment that if she had an abusive ex she would tell every girl he dated after to "protect them" and girls who don't do this are "anti-female" and don't support other women.
So reddit, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 13,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
acMnlVPXm7ODHuNIpiaIohLyll6IO2YS
|
agt6qs
|
{
"description": "telling my boyfriend to stop talking to a girl who \"liked\" him less than a year ago",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my boyfriend to stop talking to a girl who “liked” him less than a year ago?
|
So, my bf and I are in a somewhat open relationship in that we have threesomes with people. Nothing happens without the other’s knowledge and consent. It’s basically just a sex or friends with benefits thing.
Well, about 6 months ago we broke up for a short time (turns out, it was because we were both sexually bored and this threesome solution has made everything amazing). However, he met this girl. Call her A. He swiped her on Tinder and said he wanted to be fwb. She agreed, they sexted, then when he and I got back together he ghosted her.
Now, we’ve been back together for 6 months, and everything’s great, he’s been talking to her about joining us in the bedroom. Only now, she’s saying she wants to hang out with only him. And she keeps telling him how upset and mad she is at him for ghosting her. She says she liked him and wanted a relationship and is upset that he “ghosted her to get with someone better”. So she keeps trying to guilt trip him pretty much.
He’s been apologetic, and likes being friends with her, but she has ignored group chats several times and I’ve never spoken to her because of this. She is openly upset that he is back with me. She says she doesn’t wanna date right now but I’m not buying it.
Am I the asshole for telling him to say goodbye to her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
JhezrfQE8GBiPTtd8otKvx6ogkFFDGxP
|
aqrqyr
|
{
"description": "wanting little to do with my nephew and his mother",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting little to do with my nephew and his mother.
|
My older brother knocked up a girl several years ago. I’m not sure where my brother is right now, quite possibly prison. I don’t have much contact with him.
So I have this 6 year old nephew who is a miniature version of my brother, acts like him, is crazy like him, maybe even has bipolar like him. I’ve been trying to make efforts to see him and his mother because they are family after all, and my dad said he could use a positive male roll model in his life, but in my heart I just don’t really care. It’s always a big effort and when I’m with them I’m just waiting for the visit to be over. I like kids but I just don’t really connect with my nephew. Maybe it’s because of my broken connection with my brother and seeing him in my nephew, maybe it’s just because he’s possibly ADHD/Bipolar and definitely acts like it.
Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
v3e3wWCkjcmVz26KaT7A2UfiKQE09pny
|
aznj1x
|
{
"description": "telling my mom how much I hate being a girl everyday",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling my mom how much I hate being a girl everyday?
|
So I'm 15. Yeah, pretty rocky start, eh? Teenage hormones and stuff.
So I think I might have gender dysphoria. It hits extremely hard sometimes, to the point where I start hyperventilating and crying and shutting down. I don't have any mirrors in my room anymore, and I try not to be in any pictures. It just pains me everyday. I'm extremely depressed over this.
Anyways, I don't like confrontation. I don't like talking to my mom about this in real life because it pisses her off. At school, I text her a lot during my breaks and open up about how much I hate being a girl, and how I wished I had been born a boy instead, and asking my mom for what to do. My mom keeps ignoring me, and trying to point out that women are better than men, or saying stuff like "Yeah but we can cover up our flaws with makeup! And have kids! And do all wonderful sorts of things!" and other "advantages" that aren't actually advantages, or anything I'm interested in.
I don't have anywhere or anybody else to vent out to , so she's my only option. The thought of a diary popped up, but I don't want to have a typically feminine hobby like that.
So obviously, I'm extremely depressed over this, right? And whenever I text my mom to vent, she just gets angry and says "Why can't you just love yourself? I love myself!" "It's just a phase that all girls go through, give it some time." If she's true about the phase thing, what an awful fucking thing all girls have to go through, yet another reason why I hate being female.
I honestly truly hate it, and my mom doesn't want me "talking shit about her own gender" and making her "feel a bit upset" about how I'm feeling. She acts like she wants to do what's good for me, but all she does is make me feel worse, and she knows it.
(She won't let me see a doctor for this, but I don't think this is a necessary point in this story)
So, Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
XNrPBYolvcgg8OdJDpi6vYvKwGkSb5x7
|
9tpmgt
|
{
"description": "not picking up a hitchhiker",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not picking up a hitchhiker?
|
I was driving along in Utah (from Moki Dugway towards Hanksville) and if anyone hasn’t driven there, it’s basically an endless road and nothing else for 2-3 hours. I didn’t even see any other cars which was eerie, and while the red rock hills around make for a stunning scenic drive, as I was alone I was kind of getting a The Hills Have Eyes vibe.
At one point a hitchhiker appeared ahead, put his thumb out then started waving frantically when I didn’t slow down. I put my hand up apologetically but just sped right past and kept going. He didn’t look dodgy, had a lot of camping gear and I’m guessing he was just someone who was out camping/exploring in that area.
I do like to help others normally so I felt a bit guilty as I would probably have been safe (I’m 25M) and potentially made a friend, but ultimately decided to play it safe.
There was a ranger station a 30 min drive further on so if he kept walking he would have reached that.
Am I an asshole for that? What’s the etiquette with hitchhikers these days?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 10,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.