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mLTw6xUtjSXBqigVAtvCP0VA2gPLn2A3
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ahq7go
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{
"description": "annoying my friend with old songs, relentlessly",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA I annoyed my friend with old songs, relentlessly.
|
So, I was joking around with my friend, and I started referencing old songs, it was kinda funny at first, hilarious for me, a pain in the ass for him, I'll copy and paste the texts here. My friend will be \*bolded\* and I will be normal texts So, uh, I'll just post a TL;DR at the bottom if you don't wanna read all the texts. (ignore the bad grammar this is copy pasted, don't judge us)
​
\*That was not my finest hour\*
no but is was your final countdown
\*That was Very ominous, Is there an assassin coming-\*
no but their is a tiger the eye of the tiger
\*please stop referencing old songs-\*
..
the tiger's gonna kill you like video killed the radio star
\*I'll fucking kill you like the assassins killed XXXtentacion now quit it-\*
you need to chill, maybe to calm you down. you could use a little kiss each morning.
​
\*OH MY GOD WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THESE IM GONNA EXPLODE\*
​
they just speak to me like "Hello my honey, hello my baby"
​
\*I physically just punched my wall ow\*
​
you need some ice ice baby
​
\*Gehhwhwhwhbwbsnsnsbjskdodod\*
​
.. now i feel like a asshole, sorry
​
\*I don't trust you at all-\*
Is it too late to so sorry? cause I'm missing more than just your body
\*THAT ONE ISNT EVEN OLD OH MU GOD--\*
​
wait they have to be old?
​
\*Well pretty much every song you said was old so I made the correlation\*
​
like how old, can I use stuff from the 80's?
​
\*Yes\*
man this is tough, it's a hard knock life
​
\*I'll fucking burn your house down-\*
​
WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE
IT WAS ALWAYS BURNING SINCE THE WORLD'S BEEN TURNING
​
\**sobs uncontrollably on the floor\**
​
calm down
you just
gotta
keep
stayin' alive
​
\*I punched my phone, STOP\*
​
*Don't* Stop 'Til You Get Enough
​
\*I've had enough\*
​
Next you'll say '"you're *Killing Me Softly*"
​
Next you'll say '"you're *Killing Me Softly*"
​
sure
​
He sends a pic of a bunch of scribbles with the text "FUCKINGHJSDHCJ STOP" on top
these old songs are the *Best of My Love*
​
make you wanna go back to Sweet Home Alabama
​
these jokes must make you wanna go on the Stairway to Heaven
Tell me why? Ain't nothing but a heartbreak
​
\*They have you on the highway to hell\*
or I guess Highway to Hell would be more fitting
when you come to California to kill me be careful (I live in cali)
you might leave your heart is San Francisco
c'mon man and Walk this way
​
I'll stop
​
but promise me
​
you won't stop believing.
​
Yeah he had a mental breakdown, and sent a bunch of gifs of people smashing things, crying gifs, etc. I feel bad, he was like super mad, he's calmed down now. But I still feel bad, am I the asshole?
​
TL;DR: I drove my friend insane with old songs
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
NOBODY
|
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|
RIGHT
|
0UNACEs3z0cluCq9uEvcXrvBtxwFy0EJ
|
apywnr
|
{
"description": "thinking my wife spends too much time on her phone",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for thinking my wife spends too much time on her phone?
|
Throwaway account here as she is on reddit, too. I'm really struggling with this one.
My wife and I generally get along great. We rarely argue, and when we do, we resolve it and move on. No big issues to the relationship, and very few little ones. Definitely my soul mate.
The only thing that's come up as an issue between us is the time she spends on her phone. When we first started going out this was a frequent issue between us. I spend very little time on social media, and she was on it constantly on her phone when we were together and it really bugged me. From her point of view I was being controlling and telling her what she could and couldn't do. From my point of view I was totally fine with her being as active on social media and YouTube as she wanted, but since our time together was limited due to our schedules, I really wanted our time to be our time. She had lots of opportunity when I was at work and she was off to keep up on her favorite Youtubers. Her family lives in a different time zone, so I'm totally fine if she needs to text with them when they're available, but when we're at dinner or hanging around the house I want to talk to her, not sit and watch her scroll through Instagram. Just to be clear, I don't have any suspicions that she's doing anything sneaky. She's not texting exes or sexting strangers.
It came to a head about six months after we started going out, and after several big arguments we worked out some ground rules she and I could both live with. Things were good for a while.
Fast forward to the past few months, and things have been creeping back to how they used to be. She's been under a lot of stress, and with maybe a little depression, so I haven't said anything so far and have just been dealing with it. She lost her phone for a couple of days recently, though, and I remembered why I made such a big deal out of this. Without her phone around we had much more engaged, animated conversations. We'd cuddle up in bed and talk instead of me reading a book and her being on her phone. We talked about more than what posts we've seen on Reddit or Insta. Damn, I wish it could be that way all the time.
So am I being a controlling husband, or do I just miss my wife's company? Thanks. Looking forward to y'all's feedback.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ASz6t9jTG8xCOsVO8TzpL64ZJuEgtMA8
|
avrp00
|
{
"description": "complaining about paying a friend full price for photography",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA- For complaining about paying a friend full price for photography?
|
I will preface this by saying I'm not the best at expressing myself through text and if it doesn't completely make sense I'm sorry. I'll try to answer any questions. I'm really looking for honest advice here and if I'm the asshole I'm okay with that.
Little bit of backstory. Im a mechanic and always have been. I generally go out of my way to help friends and family with vehicle problems, because the cost of repairs can get pretty crazy. I usually just ask for the favor to be retuned or for very little money. The most ive ever charged someone was like $300, to fix a transmission issue in a powerstroke, which entailed removing the trans about 3 times before finally fixing the problem. I dont general work on fords, so it took a few tries to get all the issues figured out. Ive done hundreds of repairs for literally pennies on the dollar. My rule of thumb is you never ask for a discount, but you also never charge a friend full price. We all need money so i feel wierd taking from a friend.
My wife has a friend that does photography and is wanting her to take some pictures for us. I understand that photography is time consuming, but this person wants $600 for 1 session and i think we will end up with maybe 10 pictures. My wife has watched this persons child for $15/hr and has gotten up to about $300 so far. My wife has taken care of a child for 20+ hrs and is only halfway to the cost of 1 photo session.
So i completely understand that this is how they make there money and i would never complain to them about it, but everytime my wife brings it up i feel extra salty about it. I really just feel like it is ridiculous and a very unfair trade off. We recently had pictures taken at another professional place and im very pleased with what got and spent under $400.
Am i the asshole for bitching at my wife about this? Should i just accept it for what it is or am i right to feel this way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 3,
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
rqSslCgBwr74d2Z53atT1dY7K7AEmjEN
|
b59z5x
|
{
"description": "being mad at my parents for making me retake the ACT",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being mad at my parents for making me retake the ACT?
|
I’m a junior in high school who has some lofty goals for college, and I understand that part of the process for really good schools is getting a good ACT score. I took it last summer and got a 34 composite, and I now have a 35 superscore. I thought that that was good enough, but I didn’t study that much for it (just took a practice test and reviewed some techniques). My worst section was math, mostly because the math on the ACT is from classes I haven’t taken in a few years, so I was a little rusty. However, I’m proud with my score and feel like it is more than adequate.
My parents, however, don’t think the same way. They think I need to take the ACT one more time, and put some serious study time into it. I don’t really want to (but am anyways) and expressed my frustration with them.
My logic: my score is still really good. The ACT is supposed to be an aptitude (predictor of future success) test rather than an achievement (test of learned skills) test, so studying for the ACT is learning to get good at the ACT and not good for what the test actually wants to test. I don’t want to take it again and take the time to study when I could do other things. Also, the other parts of my application are strong, so if my ACT is “weak” to my parents, they’re forgetting that I have other stuff as well. Also, I feel like if I took it again I’d be doing it for them and not for myself which makes me feel icky. I feel like I’d only be getting my score up so they could show off or something, which I know they wouldn’t but still feel like they would.
Their logic: I could improve my score. I know I could do better if I studied more, and one or two more points on the composite could possibly sway my results for college admission. There’s no harm in taking it again, and I’ll be happy if I improve anyways, even if I’m upset about it now.
AITA for being mad at my parents about retaking this test?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
FAWslUVetzcKL5iMSmKyRZak9WxVn7vh
|
9yyccz
|
{
"description": "deactivating fb",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for deactivating FB?
|
My friend was spamming insults at me the other day because our other friend and I made plans to hang out.
This really brought me down so I deactivated my account. I tried just logging out but I kept being tempted to just log in and i didnt want people to think I was just ignoring them either.
So I deactivated and if anyone wanted to message me, they all have my number and my Instagram which I left activated.
Apparently I made that one friend who was being rude to me cry and now everyone thinks I'm a jerk. I apologized but she doesn't care and now she says she's going to stop using messenger for a few weeks because I stole her dignity apparently.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
mWEspHoO6DSFdo6sHCf4MNlY9CjGEoa5
|
ba7r8x
|
{
"description": "being slow to respond to texts",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for being slow to respond to texts?
|
I’m extremely introverted and I really value my alone time. I work in a call center, which really drains my energy, and by the end of the day I’m exhausted and have little to no social energy. While I don’t mind texting some, I don’t like that I don’t get a break from what seems to be a constant conversation. With the exception of my family and a few close friends, it usually takes me several hours to a week to respond to texts. I’ve apologized to people and explained that I’m a bad texter, but I still have friends who get really upset with me for not responding faster. I value their friendship, but I still want to get a break from the conversations. AITA for still being slow and not wanting to change my texting habits?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
8YCwDRwxeFYYwhkoqNE7WryFDGOupxcH
|
axfl7f
|
{
"description": "wanting my gf to get her life together",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA For Wanting my GF to Get Her Life Together?
|
We've been together for about 2 years and we both graduated last june, we're both 22. After she graduated she continued to work part time in her retail job, she has a BA in Sociology. I told her she should try finding a job in her field but she said she just wants to chill for now and work part time. She lives with her parents and just works like 1-2 days a week and like every month she wants to do something different, open up a bakery or become a writer, go to grad school, become a social worker etc. I try supporting her always but if it wasn't for her parents who she lives with and give her a large allowance every month she'd be a bum for real. I'm making about 75k this year and I want her to work full time or go back to school or find a career. I brought this up again last night and she got mad at me and sad I'm an ass hat for thinking I'm better than her and said I'm not better than her.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
ebsiYT9f1d9H0ji2fv6coVAAs0GjJDv6
|
b09eqs
|
{
"description": "wearing Navy shwag having never served",
"pronormative_score": 71,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for wearing Navy shwag having never served?
|
My son is in the US Navy and I, like most parents, am very proud of his service. I have bumper stickers on my truck that say ‘proud navy dad’ and T-shirt’s that say similar things, or just ‘Navy’ and wear them often. I also have several navy hats that my son has given me from the different squadrons he’s been assigned to over the years. I wear those too on occasion.
Over the last few years I’ve occasionally had someone thank me for my service. When it’s happens I’ve always immediately corrected them and they’d always say something like cool tell your son thank you for his service. No big deal right?
Last weekend I walked through an average gun show/ swap meet with one of my son’s squadron hats on. As I was tooling around a guy said thanks for your service. I said oh it’s my son in the navy and started to brag on him when the guy went off on me for a few minutes saying how it was ‘stolen valor’ for me to wear the cap of a squadron that I never served in. I was pretty much shocked into blubbering some sort of apology and moved off. I kept the hat on the rest of my time there with no incidents.
So am I the asshole for wearing navy shwag? Am I guilty of ‘stolen valor’ even if it’s unintentional?
(For the record, I have never served in the military. Every male in my immediate family has except me. I wanted to but an accident my last year of high school left me with multiple injuries that precluded military service. Yes I’ve recovered since then.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 71,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 71,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
bb3rWndDnpu7XwjK2n3vdMaTkY6P2CSA
|
afaiu4
|
{
"description": "getting mad that my fiance lied to me about not losing weight, kicking her out, and planning on breaking up with her",
"pronormative_score": 69,
"contranormative_score": 13
}
|
AITA for getting mad that my fiance lied to me about not losing weight, kicking her out, and planning on breaking up with her?
|
So back the end of 2017 my dad had a heart attack. It was almost 100% caused by his weight and it scared me to death. At the time I was pushing 450 pounds and this was a huge wake up call for me. I sat down with my fiance and talked with her about it. She was over 500 at the time and I wanted to get the fears I had for both of ours health's out on the table and talk with her. In the end we both decided for our own sakes we should lose alot of weight. So for 2018 our resolution was to completely change.
I won't lie, this last year was hard. We both changed our eating habits drastically, We both went to the gym every day, And I began cooking every meal to make sure we had good health food. Despite this, I am happier than ever. I lost 110 pound last year and me and my fiance are now on a path to a health life, at least I thought. This is where the problems start. My fiance has not lost any weight. In fact, she gained over 60 pounds over the year. Every time I talked with her about this she has gotten defensive and claimed that it's "water weight" or that is's her thyroid or a other medical issue. I've always given her the benefit of the doubt since i loved her and trusted that she wasn't lying to me.
Well, this last week I figured it out. I've gotten really friendly with the owner of the gym "we" had been going. While there, she decided to ask me if I wanted to cancel my fiance's membership since she never came. It turns out my fiance stopped coming last April but never told me. Yet, every day she would tell me she was going or was at the gym (our work schedules were different so we planned to go at different times). This made me very suspicious so I confronted her.
It turns out my fiance has been lying to me about everything. She has been eating out twice a day, not exercising at all, and hiding copious amounts of junk food away to eat while i'm not around. She claims I was being controlling and that she doesn't want to lose weight but I forced her to. She is now also saying that me losing wight is "wrong" and that i'm trying to change "who I am". I won't lie, I blew up at all of this and kicked her out of the apartment I pay for.
For the past week she has been staying at her parents and tries to call me everyday. I've gotten a barrage of of texts calling me "controlling" and a monster for how I treated her from her family and I honestly just need some advice. I'm hurt by the fact that she lied to me for a whole year about this when we both agree'd that this is what we needed. I'm planning on breaking up with her right now and told her last night that i'm think "us" through. Am I in th wrong though? Am I just being controlling?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 62,
"EVERYBODY": 6,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 13
}
|
RIGHT
|
oegkPWXozRosIjZfX3vD8De5CJayaeDx
|
9t6o73
|
{
"description": "raising my Voice and making everyone uncomfortable at a Party",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for Raising my Voice and Making Everyone Uncomfortable at a Party?
|
I think there are three things you have to understand about me to get this story:
1. I grew up in Indiana. In the place I used to live white nationalism was a normal thing. It's really embarrassing to admit, but if you'd met me eight years ago or so you might have heard me say things like - Africans have a genetic predisposition toward low iq. I'm really embarrassed that at one time I normalized and actively spread hate speech and was just so ignorant - even if I was really young. Currently twenty-eight.
2. I'm a professional scientist now. I take a lot of pride in my work. I really value truth. I'm a bit of a quiet activist too. I spend time volunteering, donating, do a lot of research in medicine.
3. I'm extremely quiet, awkward, and I don't really have a lot of friends outside of my SO and my family - but everyone in my family and my SO are extroverts.
So I'm at my older brother's party, and we're sitting in a circle playing Codenames. We really like boardgames and music. One of my older brother's friends had competed in a race earlier that weekend and done middlingly. He commented something like - "well if I had the extra bone in my foot like black people I'd have done better."
I realize I was being a little bit sensitive, but I tried to be immediately dismissive of the comment. I replied along the lines of - "come on man, that's just some crappy rumor. There's not much genetic differences between the races. Trust me, my PhD is in medicine lol."
Then my older brother cuts in and I'll paraphrase the conversation:
Brother: "there's no bone, but black people are genetically stronger and faster."
Me: "The primary genetic trait that's unique to black skinned people is extra melanin in the skin. I'm pretty sure that there's no evidence that there's significant difference in athletic ability between people with different skin tone."
Brother: "no, it's been proven." - pulls up some trash article
Me: "That's not how proof works, there has to be a real, mechanistic, intervention-based scientific investigation"
Brother: finds an article from very junky scientific journal "No see, I found this scientific study. If there's a study, there's at least evidence that it's true."
Me: "That's not how science works, you need a community consensus. Not one sample that's not even well peer-reviewed"
Brother: "Well, it's enough data for me that I'm not going to change my mind."
Me: "It's not just about changing your dumb-ass mind, we're in front of a group of people and when you emphasize poorly-supported divisive ideas, you make all these people in this room more comfortable with ideas that inch towards racism. You normalize it."
Brother: "Well, I don't care because I don't want to change my ideas."
Me: "that is the most ass-headed way to think about things. Why wouldn't you trust me? I'm a professional scientist in a closely related field. All I do is try to evaluate truth in things like this."
Brother's-Friend: "Jesus Knoxvillefox, you're making this party really awkward for everyone. You should just drop it so everyone can have fun."
Me: "I don't care, I'm not going to sit here and let my own blood normalize anything even approaching racism. And I'm not going to let him normalize bull-headedness and a consumer's approach to reading research. Because there's also plenty of data out there that falsely asserts that black people are iq-inferior to people with different skin colors and we should be guarding ourselves against believing anything that's written in a book or journal."
At that point I'm sort of raising my voice. Not yelling, but definitely stern and angry. We argued for a while until I had to leave. I feel bad in retrospect :c
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
0OExBtnEgVZ1NBquIspClUt1oT0aMdhT
|
aqeeuq
|
{
"description": "demanding my ex to stop seeing the person she cheated on me with",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 20
}
|
AITA for demanding my ex to stop seeing the person she cheated on me with?
|
First, sorry for my bad english.
I was with my ex two years until she cheated on me. Those two years are the only good experience I've had in my life, they are like a treasure to me. Then she cheated on me, I forgave her, she cheated on me again and she left me. Even though it would have hurt, I would not have minded breaking up if she did not love me anymore, but instead she cheated on me. This was half a year ago, I do not even know anything about her right now, but at the time I demanded her to not continue to be with the person she cheated onme with because that was just what made me feel replaced, I thought that it was taken for granted but it seems that I am the only person who thinks this way. I think that if you cheat someone you should stop seeing the person with whom you cheated, not continue to take away your former partner's value, try to maintain the value of those years you spent. Since that day I feel replaced, ironically that day has been the best I've felt so far, because every day that passes, I feel worse, and 6 months have passed, people often forget over time, but I day I feel that I have less dignity if they continue to see and I am still tempted to demand it again. Those years that I was with her I do not want to change them for anything in the world, but she has only made it more difficult for me, taking away their value day after day. For me it's the only nice thing I've had and I do not want it to end up knowing I'm being replaced. God, I haven't even told my friends about the cheating part and I'm not going to. I still feel the need for her to find someone else, whoever it is, just to think that there was no one who valued more than me from one day to another. I think I would have done the same for her without needing to be demanded for it, although I would not have cheated on her anyway.
​
Am I the asshole for thinking this way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
YFCgazObN8diH9ylwOXnvCXmyzIw7qE9
|
a5ixb0
|
{
"description": "defending my mom to my dad",
"pronormative_score": 19,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for defending my mom to my dad?
|
Basically, my dad is always hounding and verbally abusing my mom. I witnessed an interaction between them and I yelled at my dad and defended my
Mom because I just couldn’t take it. Here’s the context:
My dad had previously asked my mom to call the dog sitter to see if she can watch our dog during an upcoming trip.
My mom had told my dad she couldn’t reach the dog sitter as the number appeared to have been disconnected. So this interaction happens:
Dad: can you contact the dog sitter?
Mom: I can’t reach her
Dad: there’s this thing called a phone
Mom: I called her, but I don’t think she works for the cite anymore because the number was disconnected
Dad: There’s this thing called a phone...
I’m just siting with my mom as this happens and couldn’t take it anymore. So I said, “For the love of God, she just told you the number was disconnected!”
My dad is extremely angry that I defended my mom, He said I am abusive towards him and mistreat him after he is so nice to me and is always giving me money. Which is true, he does give me money, but that doesn’t change the fact that he constantly treats my mom, and sometimes my sister and me, like shit and has been my whole life. Anyway, he’s making me feel really shitty and like a horrible person. He brought it up when he came home last night and again this morning, saying “you and I are done” and calling me abusive. So I want to know... AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
8g296qphbEMqpKWOFBu9sb7kYUpCfApL
|
ata5lp
|
{
"description": "not telling the GameStop employee that he gave me the wrong game",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For not telling the GameStop employee that he gave me the wrong game?
|
This took place about 2 years ago, but I feel guilty to this day. I went to GameStop to buy madden 16 as I wanted to play some football at the time, but when I got the game and went in my car, I saw he gave me madden 17. I just went home after that but felt guilty that the employee gave me a better game for the price of the older one.
Half of me thinks it’s his fault for not looking what game he put in, but half of me thinks I should of told him it’s the wrong game. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
JtzRcavM0kwlYy8K6QpIApfgQvlx0MpG
|
afayrf
|
{
"description": "getting angry at my friend for being so dumb in relationships",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA For getting angry at my friend (f) for being so dumb in relationships
|
Sorry if bad grammar english is not my first lenguage. So i have a friend that is very naive but not dumb, so it is very easy to lie to her.
I am (m) 19 and my best friend has a lot of relationships and most of the time she asks for advice to my friends and i, we always say what we think is best for her but sometimes i am so sure the other dude is just using her for sex.
Ex. I would tell her that he is lieing to her but she is so obstinate that she just ignores me and when she gets hurt she just says that i was right and that she should have listen to me but she just doesn't change.
I just dont like to see her suffer when the other dude dumps her after getting sex.
AITA for getting mad at her?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
WRONG
|
a17MVI1fBLUDtnDFkeZ6dBmiHnrZi9Pi
|
b8jyla
|
{
"description": "not inviting in-laws to daughter's birthday",
"pronormative_score": 59,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't invite in-laws to daughter's birthday?
|
My in-laws do not like me, and because of that they do things that make my daughter feel like crap. If I thought they did it purposefully I would have put an end to them being involved in her life years ago but I honestly don't think they realize how much it affects her. One major way she becomes collateral damage is her birthday.
My daughters birthday has always ended with her crying because (in her words) no body cares about her. Usually this is because my in-laws refuse to eat her cake since I make it and leave as fast as they can. One year they even used the wind as an excuse to leave when she hadnt even finished opening her gifts. Nothing major for an adult but when you are a young kid birthdays are special and seeing people you love not want to celebrate it is devastating.
Last year was the absolute worst. My daughter was turning13 and she was extra excited since she was officially a teenager. We made plans with MIL to have the party in my in-laws backyard. The day of the party there was a parade which my daughter was in and the whole family went to watch. That is when my MIL asked what we were doing for the party. Having just discussed this very subject days before my husband and I were quite confused and irritated. I admit, my husband got more angry than was warranted but after years of having his family treat our daughter's birthday as no big deal it was the final straw. This is when shit hit the fan.
SIL decides she needs to defend mom because husband is questioning how she can forget plans we just made. SIL starts cussing husband out, husband is having none of it and yes right back at her. MIL starts literal screaming (not words just high pitched screeching) SIL threatens to punch husband, to which he dares her to do it. The reason of us were dumbfounded by the whole situation an could do nothing but watch as it all unfolded. I have never in my life seen the amount of dipshittery I saw in that 5 minutes. Let me remind you, they are grown ass adults in public. It was ridiculous and humiliating.
My daughter yet again ended up crying because her birthday was ruined. I do my best to cheer her up and salvage the day but it was useless. Later that night, my in-laws want to give her gifts but she is hurt and pissed off, wanting nothing to do with any of them, her father included. Despite my own anger, I convince her she needs to be the bigger person. A decision I regret to this day. I taught her that she shouldn't stand up for herself when it's family being assholes.
Eventually life got back to normal but this year when I asked what she wanted to do for her birthday she said she wasn't even sure she wanted a party because they always just end up making her feel like crap. That broke my heart. Since they are the cause of her feeling like that WIBTA if we had a party and didn't my invite in-laws?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 59,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 59,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
whOm7qgFfjJFQi07uLPEW2b8fQHlEbkc
|
az5d0d
|
{
"description": "being mad my girlfriend reviewed a product we bought without telling me",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad my girlfriend reviewed a product we bought without telling me
|
My girlfriend and I bought a big pack of Trojan condoms from Amazon and they were kinda uncomfortable. I figured it was no big deal I could just give the unused ones to my friend or something and buy the regular ones I like. My girlfriend suggested I leave a bad product review, but I told her I didn’t want to bother with that.
This morning I got an email from amazon that said “Thank you for your product review!” on the condoms we bought. It was a one star negative review that stated neither of us enjoyed them. The review also has my first and last name publicly available. This bothers me because I’m a private person and don’t want my friends or family or people I do business with to see that (even if it’s a small chance).
I’m also not sure if I should be mad that she used my phone without me knowing (she has my password) and used my account to post the review without telling me. I don’t know if I should be mad or not.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
IlF5LSxposd2XCxrPbtZ9U3nmY6JwQx0
|
asmpaq
|
{
"description": "thinking about my SIL",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 12
}
|
AITA for thinking about my SIL?
|
My wife and my SIL are very identical. My wife has just gained maybe about 50 pounds. I’m not that attracted to her now, atleast until she puts some effort into losing weight.
I’ll be lying if I said I don’t like our annual vacation with her family so I get to see my sil in a swim suit. That woman sure knows how to maintain her figure.
I often you know what to the thought of her. In fact I think about other women too whenever I need to get off. My sister in law is just damn
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 12,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 12
}
|
WRONG
|
FWWNpHhFpynbbJ8w0vOiRlVA1CvedRhq
|
9zxj0d
|
{
"description": "staring at my friend's girlfriends ass because I find her attractive",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for staring at my friend’s girlfriends ass because I find her attractive?
|
Ok so, recently a lot of my friends have started ignoring me because of the fact that I checked out his girlfriend. My thought process would be that he only things I hang out with him to see her, but that isn’t true. I met him almost a year ago, and we’ve been really good friends until he recently got his girlfriend a couple months ago, and he’s started to neglect everyone except her. It got worse last week when he spotted me checking her out, and now he goes out of his way to ignore me. His girlfriend however, understands that I didn’t mean to offend him and has tried to convince him to spend time with me again, but he refuses. Am I the asshole, or is it my friend for not forgiving me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
WRONG
|
xNfi4IQCYH28PoE5FD1wqSlZCZKlBW7F
|
b7p6aa
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay this bill",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay this bill?
|
My husband borrowed my car and took an Express lane with a toll. I got an unpaid notice in the mail because my ezpass was not activated (I hadn't used it in a couple years and eventually let it lapse).
He says I should have told him or taken down the ezpass, but I say he should have asked before taking the toll road. Even if the ezpass was working, no guarantee it would have money in the account. I never would have expected him to take a toll road for a 25 minute trip on a weekend anyway.
I said I'd leave the bill for him to pay ($2 toll plus $12 fee) and he said he wouldn't. I got mad and wouldn't help him with his laundry since I was "busy" writing the check.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 8,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 10
}
|
WRONG
|
S96krY8Vr6UPkfzyxSd8FQGXQq1Zh8OJ
|
9uwaip
|
{
"description": "not wanting to be my girlfriend's therapist",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to be my girlfriend’s therapist?
|
She’s had a history of depression for the past 5 years or so (started in high school, she’s a college Junior). I like being there for her; I see her almost every single day, and we live in apartments just over a mile from each other. Yet, she dumps all of her emotional baggage on me, and not any of her three female roommates (one of whom she declares her best friend). The aforementioned best friend seldom knows about it when my gf has this bouts of depression, simply because gf hides it from her. And, gf’s best friend and I are pretty much the only people she hangs out with regularly. She almost exclusively vents to me, and I feel worn out most times, but she also gets upset with me for “not showing that I care” about her emotions very often.
Also, I always sleep poorly when we share a bed, just because she makes it hard for me to move in her sleep. I don’t hold that against her, but I do try to avoid sharing a bed more than 3-4 nights in a row.
So that’s the background.
She stays at my place more than I do hers, simply because her complex is more than happy to give you a parking ticket if you lack their validation. Exclusions are weekdays between 9p and 8a, and all day Saturday/Sunday. Tonight, she needs to study for two exams she has in the morning. She asked me to come over to her place and help her study and leave in the morning (meaning I’d get about 5 hours of sleep at best), even though I work in the morning. I told her I’m emotionally drained right now, being her only support group, and I just need to rest; so, I’d like to just sleep at my place and have her go to hers. What I requested is exactly what happened. Should I have pushed through and dealt with more crappy sleep, or should I be selfish and keep myself together? AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ThxT5ncy3RrbbncPAcPD4iuEbfyynxAP
|
a8u4jn
|
{
"description": "not telling my parents about my brother's drug use",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not telling my parents about my brother's drug use?
|
Okay, so a bit of backstory,
My brother goes to a lot of parties, gets drunk and high and all that stuff, despite our parents telling him to not do drugs. We usually don't talk a lot, but sometimes we'll chat a bit when our parents aren't home. So one day he decides to tell me he's done different types of drugs, that he's done it multiple times and that he uses it quite frequently, and I'm just kind of like "That's not very good."
He said he only did stuff like snuff and sometimes vaped with friends, but insists he's not addicted and that he'll never do cocaine or other stronger substances.
I was kind of split on what to do, so I just ended up encouraging him to tell our parents, which he then ended up doing after I reminded him a couple of times.
Afterwards my mom questioned me because she found out I knew about it when they didn't, but I hadn't told them. My reasoning was that he'd no longer trust me if I told them, and that he had asked me multiple times to not tell our parents, but my mom still seemed to be upset that I did not tell them about it. I see why she would be on som parts, but I was not sure what to do.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
eOzTZrJISAHuTER58UEnbl70QvWvEjIH
|
b5pkfc
| null |
AITA - Parents gave ultimatum about not inviting brother to graduation
|
Small bit of backstory: I'm the youngest of 3, older brothers +10 and +13 years older than me, and I'll be the first in our family to graduate with a Bachelor's. I did a lot of things backwards in life, pregnant at 16, graduated HS from alt ed, which my parents didn't attend (work out of town), nursing school, and now returning to school for a career change. I'm now happily married with two kids. We settled in an area about 8 hours from where I grew up. My parents ended up moving to the same city as us (to be near grandkids), and my brother2 also lives here too. I have a great relationship with my parents, my mom and I talk almost daily and they've helped me so much with raising my oldest and helping financially here and there in the last 10 years.
My oldest brother (brother1) lives back home (8 hrs away) and is a massive republican - Alex Jones watching, qanon, rally going guy who I used to be close with but honestly have just grown apart with. We've had a few disagreements over the last couple of years and I just look at him in a different light. In my eyes, he's gone off the deep end and one of the tipping points was last summer - I sent my 11 year old to spend a few weeks with him over the summer and she came back and said he showed her Flat Earth YouTube videos, he wouldn't give me a straight answer on what other kind of shit he tried to show her but it was other conspiracy theory stuff.
My parents and brother2 are republicans as well, and that's ok. People can believe different things and still get along, we just have an understanding to not talk politics. But I just feel anxiety and unhappy when it comes to thinking about my brother1 visiting.
My graduation is coming up this May and I gave my parents a heads up as they're on a work assignment out of town. This graduation means so much to me because of my young pregnancy, I just feel like this is a massive milestone. My dad mentioned the other day that he let brother1 know about commencement and they were planning on coming up. I had planned on just not saying anything to them, they (brother1 and his wife) wouldn't know it was happening, wouldn't know they weren't invited. But now they're coming.
I know my mom misses him and it sucks he doesn't talk to her as often but she gets in a frenzy when he comes up here to visit. Oh brother1 is coming! Let's do a bunch of stuff to keep brother1 occupied! I think she thinks maybe if we make it fun enough, he'll move up here someday. Regardless, I don't want him at my commencement and had hoped for it to be just my parents and my husband and kids.
I let my mom know I had planned on not inviting brother1 and she got very upset. I told her I didn't mean to cause drama but I'd just be happier if it was just parents and my family. She said brother1 is my family and if I don't want him there, then I don't want my parents there because they are Trump supporters too.
I'm considering not walking now. Some things can't be unsaid. :(
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1klGi31nlSiTj0s2v7EqjYZNBLqrmj8N
|
al1d1z
|
{
"description": "calling my wife selfish",
"pronormative_score": 25,
"contranormative_score": 94
}
|
AITA for calling my wife selfish
|
My wife is pregnant and due in a month. She originally planned to breast feed, but has suddenly decided that she doesn't even want to try, even though it's healthier for our baby. She told me this and said she changed her mind because she wants her body back for herself. I asked her to just try for a bit, since it will be cheaper and healthier if it works, but she refused. I told her she was being selfish and now she won't even discuss it with me. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 91,
"OTHER": 14,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 11,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 25,
"WRONG": 94
}
|
WRONG
|
TykrymCO7bbE4rYks4ZZ7Ff9DmRzwCz6
|
ag1eqm
|
{
"description": "writing a sternly worded letter to corporate after my apartment fixed my drain",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For writing a sternly worded letter to corporate after my apartment fixed my drain?
|
At the end of last month, I told my apartment that the drain in my shower was draining really slowly. Like, it would take more than twelve hours for it to fully drain. I tried fixing it myself, but ultimately turned it over to them. The next week, it wasn't draining at all, so I went back to update them. They said they'd get someone out that day and I gave them permission to enter if I wasn't there, but I came back from work that day and there was still 6 inches of stagnant water. I told a maintenance guy about it this last Friday when some contractors came through to fix my drywall (got new wiring for washer and dryer installed in November) but I again came home to it not being fixed.
So today, I went down to the office vented my frustration with them because it had been two or three weeks since I told them about it and they hadn't done anything. I'll be honest, I was a little (albeit, not overly) antagonistic as I felt that I was allowed to be at that point; specifically, when they said they were gonna get someone out that day, I asked if it was gonna be like last time where I would come back to my shower still being messed up.
They did ultimately fix it today, but it still took them two and a half weeks and I had to go down there three times to get it fixed. So I sent an email to their corporate office expressing my overall frustration with the experience. I sent it not even 45 minutes after the maintenance guy told me fixed my drain.
TL;DR the apartment took forever to fix my shit and I bitched to corporate office right after they fixed it.
Also, I want to mention this to be fair, that drywall being messed up for so long was not their fault. Some residents were uncooperative when they came by to fix that.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
bPcNLWJ6tkwyXTdZRGc7kVIHboUQEJH0
|
asyydw
|
{
"description": "asking for a lower price",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking for a lower price
|
I'm looking for a place to stay and I've sort of come to an agreement with a person. I've still been looking around and I see that compared to the price we agreed on, they listed it for a lot cheaper on airbnb, around 600 a month. Would I be the asshole for asking for this price after we already agreed. Should I just mention that I saw the post and would like the cheaper price.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
HWOZ1vNmUE7ZP4h0Uau2VyffvZV4UICE
|
adqmlo
|
{
"description": "feeling resentment towards my successful younger brother",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for feeling resentment towards my successful younger brother?
|
Throwaway because little bro browses Reddit. I'm currently struggling with the success my brother is having and I feel like it's destroying my relationship with him. I know I'm going to sound really bad from what I write but I'm just being completely honest. I (41) have been having a real hard time speaking to or speaking about my brother (27) ever since he graduated from college and got a good job. To put it bluntly, I'm jealous. Jealous because I didn't get the same opportunities as him. Our parents lived in a 2nd world country and by the time I came to the United States, my little brother was only 4 and I was already done with what is HS here in the U.S. He got the privilege of going to American schools and speak English at a pretty much native level while I had to struggle like crazy to learn it. He always had a knack for school, I didn't. I hated school because I felt so stupid not knowing English. My brother and his wife got together when they were 14 (around there I think) and they got pregnant at 18. My whole family gave them shit for it and I did too because I felt it was my responsibility as an older brother to tell him how badly they messed up. Well, beyond my expectations, both he and his wife worked throughout college and he graduated and got a job as a software engineer and she got a job as a nurse. It killed me. At 24 I wasn't doing anything like that. I was working shit jobs without any motivation. I make good money, but nowhere near what he makes (not sure exactly how much he makes but I have an idea). He gets a ton of benefits, a bunch of vacation, can work from home...like wtf? How is that even possible? I struggle to just get one day off! I not once have asked him about his job because I can't stand it. I don't want to know about it and whenever someone else brings him up or his job, I just leave because of how depressed and angry it makes me. I am never mean to him btw. This is all stuff I keep inside of me but it's ruining how I feel about him. I really want to see their new home but, just the thought of it makes me sick. He makes me feel like a loser and I don't really have anymore excuses to reject his invitations. Am I the asshole? Again, I've never been mean or visually upset at him; but is it wrong for me to feel this way or jealous? I'm human, I can't help it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
ASezybDDC4olSbhgBAxGGKS6bYEll6aa
|
at6hqn
|
{
"description": "wanting to inform sitter of bed bug exposure",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to inform sitter of bed bug exposure
|
My sister had bed bugs last year and she paid to have her place treated, apparently the treatment didn’t work and she still has them. I’ve ended up with them because I babysit for her sometimes, it’s going to cost around $1500 to have my place treated. Anyone my kids and I have visited, sat on their furniture or rode in their vehicle, I’ve informed them of our situation so they can take action themselves. I told my sister she should stop taking her kids to her sitters house and inform the sitter of the bug problem, but my sister refuses to say anything because then she’ll lose the sitter. I want to tell the sitter because I know how quickly the infestation can spread and how expensive it is. Would I be a asshole if I told the sitter?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 17,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ZursBFQPbhvMslvFRy6OJadnv2skLPAO
|
aja2hq
|
{
"description": "accusing my Boyfriend of Cheating",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For Accusing My Boyfriend of Cheating
|
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years I’m 22 and he’s 33 and lately I have been suspicious of him possibly cheating.
My main issue is him being iffy about his phone such as me even touching it or on one occasion where I wanted to call my phone because I had lost it (btw I am not one of those gfs who demands to go on his phone and never have I entertained the thought of going on it when he left the room although he has done that to mine, but I respect his privacy) however he grabbed it out of my hand before I could even turn it on.
There’s been many occasions of that as well as him having condoms by his bed that we never used and were open and seemed used. I asked him about it and he just stumbled over his words and seemed to give me a bs answer but I didn’t prod.
He lives an hour away from me and we used to see each other every weekend but lately it has been a lot less, him claiming to be working more which I can believe and wouldn’t mind at all, but there are many inconsistencies such as the time we were in the car with his mother (after he told me he was working later so I had to leave soon) and she had asked him what he was doing that day and he looked nervous, but didn’t mention that he was working later which I found odd but perhaps I was overly paranoid given the previous two instances.
The reason I’ve been so cautious more observant of these things is because while we were on a break a while ago, but getting back together that weekend I was FaceTiming his niece on his phone and he got a text message from a girl saying “I miss you so much” and he snatched the phone out of my hand and got visibly angry and said it was his cousin which was total BS. I let it go and he kept trying to guilt buy me stuff the rest of the day which I refused and when I got home I asked his relative (who is also my best friend and who I met him from) if she had a relative of that girls name, she said no and I confronted him about it and he kept denying it before he eventually told me that he was talking to someone else, but they only ever talked and not done anything sexual which I don’t believe but w/e.
I asked him about all of this and he gave me shit answers that didn’t really answer my questions so I broke it off with him quite badly; however, later got back with him, but it’s still nagging at me so much as he is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever known, but his libido is out of control and I wouldn’t doubt he’d do anything given I wouldn’t find out about it.
Am I just being an over paranoid asshole or is this deserving of being skeptical over?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
TkEOEc9CJhF03g9BOV7c2TLH0qDqhO6n
|
atdzxd
|
{
"description": "arguing with my roommate for having long phone conversations late at night",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For arguing with my roommate for having long phone conversations late at night?
|
I live in a small dorm room and my roommate and I have gotten along pretty well for a while, but recently (around decemberish?) she starting having long conversations over FaceTime past 11pm.
I know I’ll already seem like an asshole by saying I’m a studious person who goes to sleep early, but she wasn’t having important discussions, she was gossiping for hours on end. We have a lot of mutual friends and so I knew that when she was talking to them, they were just fucking around. I’m fine with that, but then one night, she didn’t hang up until 2am and I had a final the next day. Once again, we live in a small dorm room and she is kind of a loud person.
I told her “[her name], I always remind you to hang up before midnight. I really need sleep.”
To be totally fair, I was afraid to flat out say “I need you to hang up at (x time) because I want to go to sleep earlier.” I did, however, tell her to go to sleep for a solid 5 nights in a row around 11:45ish.
I ended up talking to our “dorm advisor” as we call her, and she said that I need to file a formal complaint with our school. She talked to my roommate (without my knowledge) and now my roommate hates me.
She didn’t stop. I asked our other RAs (I’m one of them) what to do, and they suggested I apply for a transfer next semester, but we’ve been friends for a while and I don’t want to lose a friendship over this.
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"description": "badmouthing a piercer while at work",
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AITA for badmouthing a piercer while at work?
|
Get ready, because this is a long one.
For reference, I sell body jewelry. I’ve been doing so for about two years now. I know everyone in the industry in the area now and there is exactly one shop I’ll go to BECAUSE of this incident.
I had my nipples pierced about a year and a half ago in a different local shop. I’d met the piercer in passing a little while before this and he came highly recommended by a friend. My piercer was out for health reasons, and I knew I wasn’t gonna do it if I didn’t do it that day, so I trusted my friend’s judgement and went to him.
He was very cocky and sarcastic through the whole process. Not my favorite, but whatever. First nipple went in fine. In a moment of mid-piercing desperation, I asked him to put the second needle in before he did the jewelry for the first. He smirked and said no. Second was a lot more painful and came out crooked. I normally taking pain pretty well but holy hell, that shit hurted. I was really lightheaded and almost fainted; he put a cold washcloth on my forehead and said nothing, then left the room.
After about 10 minutes, he came back in and asked how I was doing. I said I was fine and wanted to leave. My friend that had recommended him was with me and wanted to get an opinion on a bump on her nose ring. I threw on my shirt and went out to the waiting area.
After we got in the car, she told me that he had said I was a “pussy” and I should “get out of the industry” if I can’t handle such a “simple piercing”. She’d known him for a couple years at this point and even she was shocked. I cried a lot about his comments and my crooked piercing. I still haven’t taken it out because it healed okay and I don’t wanna go through the trouble of getting it redone again.
While at work today, I had three women come in. They were all quite friendly and one in particular was looking for jewelry. She got her nose pierced by the same guy, who now works out of a different shop, and was having trouble with it. I recommended jewelry for her and sent her to my guy to change it. I also asked her how she liked him, she said she didn’t, and then asked why I had said that. I paraphrased my story. She wasn’t surprised. She bought her stuff and left.
While I had been telling the story, another woman had walked up and started looking at jewelry. After the other people left, she said it was unprofessional of me to be badmouthing piercers and that she was going to call customer service to complain about me, (joke’s on her, we’re a tiny company. My DM handles any complaints.). I told her that it was only my experience there, it wasn’t an unwarranted personal attack by any means. She didn’t listen. I already texted my DM and gave her a heads up, she’s heard the story before and is kinda indifferent on me repeating it as long as it’s not embellished or me bringing it up with no reason.
So... AITA for talking shit about an unprofessional piercer, or should I have kept it to myself?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "not saying hello to my neihbor every morning when I use her gate",
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AITA for not saying hello to my neihbor every morning when i use her gate
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My neighbor who is also my ex and I are renting two separate areas from a landlord who lives in his house. In order to get to my car without walking around the whole house and using another gate I cut through her gate. She has said it freaks her out when I walk through her gate at 5:30 in the morning and wants me to say hello everyday. But most of the time I'm running late or she's sleeping so I just pass through quietly. She says it's creepy and wants to lock the gate, and threatens to lock the gate when I use the gate without saying hello then will text me throughout the day upset with insults. I sort of think she's just starting problems because she knows my schedule and knows its me, not an intruder and can hear my car start up afterwards. The landlord said it's fine and when I use his gate, all his dogs start barking so I want to avoid that. Should I have to pay a troll toll every time I make a five foot cut through? I've offered to ring a bell as I passed through or knock on the door but I don't want to wake her up and she sleeps with the lights on so I never know if she's awake. Should I just pay the troll toll every morning and wake her up? Amta?
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{
"description": "feeling left and lonely after my best friend caught a boyfriend, got promoted and day by day stoped communicating and socializing with me",
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|
AITA for feeling left and lonely after my best friend caught a boyfriend, got promoted and day by day stoped communicating and socializing with me.
|
So, me and my friend have been really close friends for around 2,5 - 3 years. When we started communicating she was in uncomfortable situation, or better said: she broke up with her boyfriend, she was not satisfied from her work, wanted to try to work in the field of graphic design (i work in this field, she is an architect, so we started working on projects), she was single all the time. We used to see or call each other almost every day, she was available for work or hanging out. Of course, she was also very good friend and co-worker of mine as well, I can not say nothing but the best for her.
However, in the beginning of the summer, we went to another city (4 hours drive) for an exhibition where she caught a boyfriend. She also got promoted at work. More over, she started working on her own even though in the past we used to work almost everything together. If not, we would be at least updating each other all the time. As the time was passing, I realize that she seems to be less and less interested in our friendship. I feel like there is no space for me in her life. She is emotionally stable with her new boyfriend, totally over her ex one, does not need help with her graphic design work, got promoted at her architecture work, and goes out with other people for socializing. I have the impression that she is contacting me only when she needs something or commenting on some Instagram stories.
Lets make it clear, i am happy for everything that happens to her, and i do not have any romantic feelings towards her. I just feel left and lonely because she is losing touch with me more and more. I am afraid that i might me possessive or jealous but i do not think that is the problem here. Every comment would be much appreciated.
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{
"description": "leaving immediately after arriving at my parents house because my mom won't get off the phone",
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WIBTA if I left immediately after arriving at my parents house because my mom won't get off the phone?
|
Tbh, the title pretty much says it all. Almost every time I'm visiting my mother(maybe once or twice a week), my sister calls. My mom will always drop whatever conversation we're having to answer the phone and will proceed to make me sit there and wait sometimes upwards of thirty minutes. She doesn't make any effort to politely reschedule the call. It'd be one thing if this happened once in a while but it's quite genuinely every time I'm over. It's even become a bit of a running joke.
Well, I'm sitting in her kitchen right now, after coming over to pick up some food for my sister's baby shower. My mom answers the door and doesn't greet me, and I realize she's on the phone again. I'm just sitting here and have been for 15 minutes and am frustrated because I can't stay long. WIBTA if I just left? I know she'd be livid, but it'd be rude interrupt her conversation too.
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"description": "asking my gf to spend more weekends with me and less with her family",
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AITA for asking my GF to spend more weekends with me and less with her family (and eventually friends)?
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First of all a little bit of background: I'm a 22 years old male, my GF is 21. Since we live considerably far from one another (65 km) and mainly because she's the only one having a car, since I'm disabled and cannot afford a car with the changes it would need, considering the things I would need it for, and she already had one, we see each other only during weekends. We are almost all weekends at my home, since her house is too small for me to sleep there, she shares her room with her little sister and there's no room for me, we've tried it a few times but it didn't work out. When she comes, either at my mom's house, or my dad's house (they're divorced) which I go to from time to time, she comes here Saturday morning around 11:30 A.M and leaves on Sunday in the afternoon. During the week we see each other only when we attend courses at uni, which is from the end of September to the end of December, and from the end of February to the end of May: we go to courses together, we have lunch and study together, but of course we don't do any of the proper "couple's stuff" in that time, like going for walks, on dates or so on. Due to this situation, and considering that we have built a strong bond as a couple even though we haven't been dating for that long (in March we'll celebrate our second anniversary), I am particularly attached to our weekends together, also because a nice group formed with my friends and their partners, on top of it all. Now, it has to be said that she has been raised in a pretty oppressive family, that has never given her much space or freedom growing up, keeping her tied to some "rituals" forcefully, independently from their objective importance. She is with her family all day, her father has a job which allows him to be home every weekend and to be home every evening by 07:00 P.M, not including all of the holidays and days off work. Her mother is a housewife, and her sister is much younger than her, so they live together. Despite this, it happens that we skip weekends for reasons that I consider to be stupid, like the fact the she had to take her sister to see the high school she would have attended (my GF is the only one to drive in her family, her parents haven't driven in years despite having the driving license), staying at home for minor religious celebration (her family is profoundly Catholic), and birthdays that could be celebrated during the weekdays, since all of her family members that would attend them live very very close to each other, less than a kilometer apart, and stuff like this. She doesn't think I'm wrong about this whole situation, but won't actively oppose to it. As an added motivation to keep this trend, she said that doing so she has the chance to see friends that live in her area that she doesn't see much more often, despite the fact that she can meet them during the weekdays, and that this year only she has already planned three vacations (for a total of 15 days) exclusively with her friends, without involving me. I protested regarding this last thing as well, but my position hasn't been considered, because she said that none of her friends are going to bring their BFs. Am I the asshole for have asked her to at least try to not skip the weekends that we do skip for the reasons I listed previously? Am I being unreasonable in doing this request?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "being mean to my step-brother who filmed me in the shower",
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AITA for being mean to my step-brother who filmed me in the shower?
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Here's the story:
In the Summer of 2016, so about a year and a half ago, I (24f at the time) stepped out of the shower to grab a towel and noticed my step-brother (16m at the time) holding his Go-Pro on a selfie stick up through the laundry chute, as to catch me naked since I have to reach over the chute to grab a towel from the shelf. My Mother was in Florida, at the time, so I was home alone with my step-father and step-brother. My relationship with both is more or less non-existent. We don't speak and it isn't a secret that we don't like each other very much. Because of this, I did not confront step-bro until my Mom returned from Florida. At which point, she told step-dad and they took step-bro's go-pro away and that was it... No apology, no punishment, no "consent talk", nothing.
Since then, I have been pretty transparently rude and passive-aggressive towards step-bro. Such as making comments loud enough for him to hear, refusing to go to any "family" functions with him, and complaining about pretty much everything he does. This has caused recurring arguments between my Mother and I, and I am asking this today, a year and a half later, because today she told me "I need to let go of the hate, I'm too lovely of a person, and its unhealthy."
I also want to add that this shower incident isn't the only reason for my resentment. He makes the entire living situation difficult, he leaves messes everywhere and never cleans up after himself, he purposefully pees all over the toilet seat and bathroom floor, blasts music, and him and his girlfriend have sex very loudly right next to my room. All of which I have complained about multiple times but the parents don't discourage any of his behavior. Also want to explain that I suffer from panic disorder with agoraphobia, so I can't work, which is why I still live at home. I'm moving out soon, as my husband and I are in the process of buying a home.
Anyway, am I the asshole for still being upset all this time later? I still feel violated, and I feel very angry that everyone else in the family acts like I don't have a reason to be upset. Every time I bring it up my Mother makes me feel like I'm being unreasonable and that what happened wasn't even bad enough for me to still complain about it.
tl;dr Step brother filmed me in the bathroom, never apologized, and I've been a bitch ever since.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "not waking up my wife and kids when my parents came over",
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|
AITA for not waking up my wife and kids when my parents came over?
|
My wife currently super pregnant with baby #3 and we have twins who are almost 2. The twins refused to go down for a nap so we ended up all in our bed, watching a movie, and all three of them fell asleep on me. My parents were coming over for the afternoon, so I texted them to just let themselves in and make themselves at home and eat whatever. They texted me when they arrived, at 2:30, and I told them we'd be down at 3, because I figured that would give my wife three hours of sleep and my twins about 1.5 hours. My wife isn't sleeping much these days so I wanted to maximize how much rest she got since she was finally sleeping. I figured my parents could just watch tv for half an hour, which they often do at our house anyway. However, when we came down, they were very stuffy and upset that we didn't let them in and greet them and told us we were very rude. I tried to explain I was just giving everyone time to nap, but they were pretty mad that I didn't wake them up when they got there, and they ended up leaving. My wife was very upset, since she blamed herself for being asleep. AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not visiting my brother in the hospital",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for not visiting my brother in the hospital?
|
My brother was taken by the police to go to the hospital for an evaluation because he kept saying he wanted to commit suicide.
He literally told me everything was my fault and yelled at me. He was lashing out and I was mad. My parents then came home and asked me if I wanted to see him and I said no because he is probably mad at me. I then went to visit my cousin and told him everything. I felt better and I went home at around 11. My parents then said I was stupid for hanging out with a”boy”. I cannot tell them I was hanging out with my cousin because he cane out to my family and was cut off from them.
They basically said his friends visited him and I was a horrible sister for not visiting him. I just went to my room and ignored it.
AITA?
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{
"description": "requesting there be a public bathroom in our office building",
"pronormative_score": 9,
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AITA for requesting there be a public bathroom in our office building
|
So I currently run business in a small office building. I have the largest suite with a lot of foot traffic from my 20 sales reps. My neighbor across the hall has the next largest suite with a lot of foot traffic for their pharmaceutical reps. My neighbor to the right has about 7 employees that do house flipping.
We all have one private bathroom within our suite with and have access to a public office one in the hallway.
However there is one more neighbor with 2 people working. They have the smallest suite in the building with obviously the smallest staff. They do not have a private bathroom and use the one in the hallway.
​
Recently the office manager has made a change that is the reason for this post. They decided to give the once public hallway bathroom to the 2 people working next door as a private bathroom. Reasoning being "it's only fair that they get one too".
​
This bothered me because I signed my lease with the understanding that there would be a public bathroom. With the amount of employees I have the one bathroom in my suite is not enough and it is currently placed in a position where everyone can watch you go in, and everyone can watch you come out. It's just a door that enters a broom closet with a toilet seat and sink in the biggest room of the suite. There's just no sense of privacy. I really just want a spot where my people can leave the main room, take care of business, and come back in. The bathroom is in the front of the room so its super visible.
I sent an email to the office manager and landlord to express my concern pretty much asking for the once public bathroom to be back. I feel bad because I am friends with the 2 neighbors next door and they seem pretty happy to have their own private bathroom now. I just also feel annoyed because I have 20 people working all day with others coming in for our retail section and the one bathroom is not cutting it. Frankly I would not have picked this space if it didn't have a public bathroom.
I feel entitled to having a public bathroom because the needs of my 20 are more than the needs of their 2. But that also makes me feel super shitty that I am taking away from their now "private bathroom". However when my lease was signed, I did have access to that bathroom so really I'm setting the standard back.
​
I feel conflicted. I feel like I may be an asshole right now. Maybe I just needed to vent? Am I the asshole?
​
TLDR: Public bathroom made private by landlord in an office. I want to make it public again but in doing so I take a private bathroom from my neighbor. I have 20 employees vs their 2, however I do also have a private bathroom while they would not if I took it back.
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"description": "wanting my parents to get me a new fish tank",
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AITA for wanting my parents to get me a new fish tank?
|
Okay, here's some background, I promise I am not an entitled brat.
So It was a couple years ago in 2017, I had a 10 gallon tank outside, waiting to be used. (Note I wasn't planning on using it anytime soon, this is important.) So I go outside to find a big crack in the back of it, making it unusable. I question my sister, who was 6 at the time, and she admits it was her fault. It was a complete accident, and she had gone to our mom about it. What annoyed me was that I was not immediately told, but I got over that. My mother said she would get me a new tank, and so I left it at that.
Fast Forward to now, a replacement for the tank has still not been bought. I am getting into Fish-keeping and breeding on that, so I need a tank to put Fry(Baby fish) in. I casually ask my parents when they can get the new tank, and they flat out say they are not getting a new one. I am kinda taken back by this, considering they said they would. But as I don't need it asap, as my fish kinda ate their first fry, I am not in a hurried mood. I brought it up again today, and they said again that they aren't getting me a new one, even after a friend offered to give me a 50 gallon tank for free.
So, am I the asshole for trying to get a replacement tank for the one my sister broke?
​
This is my first time posting anything on reddit, so if there are any questions, just ask.
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"description": "hating my girlfriends family for always bringing up politics when they know it makes me uncomfortable",
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|
AITA For hating my girlfriends family for always bringing up politics when they know it makes me uncomfortable.
|
My girlfriend and I started dating in the middle of the 2016 election. She is apolitical and I am a republican in a liberal state, so I also keep quiet.
Her family, especially her father and brother are extremely liberal. To the point where they talk about it way too much imo. They talked about it when we first met, and I stupidly answered honestly when they asked me what my affiliation is.
They were sort of rude after I told them, but we were able to move on and me and her father have some common interests sports wise.
However after Trump won each member of her family has gotten very political. They straight up say that by remaining silent they are being complicit. They say this on both social media and irl. Whatever, but then i started seeing messages on their facebook that were very insulting.
"The issue is not just with Trump, but with his supporters. And his election shined a light on how racist america is." I am not a racist and I voted for Trump, so I took offense, but i refuse to fight publicly on facebook since people I work with follow me.
But now I know what they really think of me. So when we meet up again (my gf loves her family and wants me to be apart of it) they start the same old bullshit, and I am straight up asked if I am a racist. This is very insulting to me, especially to ask that in front of other people. I tell her brother that hes out of line for asking that question.
He then mocks me and asks if im afraid of someone "taking my job" in a redneck voice. I am from a rural area and do have an accent. I feel like he is purposely degrading me, my opinions, and where I come from. I say whatever.
So now the gossip of her family is that im some "triggered" (the brothers words) redneck who is insecure and a closeted racist. All because I am a republican. I tell my gf I dont understand why they keep targeting me if they want me to be part of the family, which is what she tells me.
Not only that, now my girlfriends dad is asking pointedly why I am not going to college. I tell him that I am a tradesman (welding) and I am happy where I am. He asks me why i think people with a college education lean democrat. I immediately realize the implication of this conversation and I tell him I don't care either way.
So now the father, who I once got along with, is insulting me to my face by implying that im stupid. From my point of view, they are being very insulting and degrading to me when I have done nothing to them but try to be apart of their family.
I even helped the younger brother get a great deal on a new car by setting him up with a used car dealer I know, while also showing him how to change the oil on his car since they never learned that stuff.
I refuse to visit her family anymore as things have not gotten better and they wont stop with the politics talk. They are also making me feel insecure about my life and my job. My girlfriend accepts this but tells me she wishes things were different, which makes me feel bad.
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HISTORICAL
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arksev
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"description": "wanting to go to Atlantic City with my family for my dads 60th birthday",
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|
AITA for wanting to go to Atlantic City with my family for my dads 60th birthday
|
My girlfriend was not happy with me because i went with my family to celebrate my dads 60th birthday. She could not go Because of work. We left on Friday and came back Saturday. She worked Friday till 9:30pm and we left Saturday around 6:30 pm. She wanted me to stay home and be with her. But she also didn't want me to gamble and lose money. I actually only gambled 3 times while i was there which is impressive for me.i won 300 bucks by the wag. And my parents paid for the whole trip dispite me and my sister and brother in law trying to pay for things.
Who's the asshole. Her or me.
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| null |
AITA - Girl I Met On Tinder
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A little background on the situation before I ask the question "Am I The Asshole?." About a month and a half ago I ended a relationship that lasted a little over a year. Looking back on this relationship, it was not very healthy. My girlfriend had depression and pretty bad anxiety and this was the first time I had experience with that in a relationship of any kind, platonic, nuclear, or romantic. Regardless, we kept trying and it seemed okay, but my girlfriend always had negative influences in their life which caused her stress which she didn't know how to take out in a healthy way it seemed so often times took out on me. This caused a lot of snappy behavior from her and I felt like I was causing this. Despite me feeling this way, though, I always had to be there to support her. So anyway, a little while after ending the relationship, my friends convinced me to get on tinder.
A couple weeks on tinder I set up a date with a girl who seemed super cool (we were sending memes back and forth within 5 minutes of me messaging her, it was great). After going on a few dates and hanging out, I really liked her, but she had told me that she also has depression and anxiety. A week or so later I told her that she too closely resembled my ex (and she did, it was not just the mental health, they are eerily similar) for me to want to continue seeing her. Am I an asshole for not giving her the chance to prove that she is able to handle her mental health in a better way than my ex? Or am I justified in doing this because I've experienced a relationship with a very similar person/personality and it did not work? I am very torn here and do not really know how mental health manifests itself differently in each person.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "not wanting to go to the gym with my husband",
"pronormative_score": 12,
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AITA because I don’t want to go to the gym with my husband?
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My husband and I are trying to keep active by regularly going to the gym. I am a stay-at-home wife (with no children) so my schedule is very flexible. I prefer to work out in the afternoons and my husband prefers to work out when he gets home from work at night. Neither of us want to work out in the morning before he goes to work. The issue is that my husband will usually not go to the gym unless I go too. He says it motivates him for me to go with him. However, I don’t like working out at night and prefer my afternoon workout sessions. I notice that I tend to have less energy at night (yes, I’m sure he has less than I do after a full day at work!) and working out at night messes with my sleep.
I finally told my husband this after months of going with him and while he said he probably will stop going, he understands my point. I really want to motivate him by accompanying him but that means I have to sacrifice what I want to do for him. I do enjoy going with him but I'm not meeting my goals if I do. Unfortunately, a home gym is not an option at this point.
AITA?
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"description": "being mad that he's ignoring my texts",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 1
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AITA for being mad that he's ignoring my texts?
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Recently my boyfriend and I both started college. We still live in the same town and we both have jobs.
Over the past few weeks I've been noticing that he's ignoring my texts a lot. We don't text much, usually just to make plans to see each other.
Lately I've been sending texts along the lines of "hey do you want to hang out next Saturday?" and he'll open it but not reply. Usually I have to send another text like "hey I really need to know if we're gonna hang out so I can plan my weekend, get back to me please?"
At least once I've had to send a third message telling him I need him to reply and that it hurts me when he opens my texts and doesn't reply. Only then would he respond.
We had a fight about this last weekend. He says he doesn't reply because he doesn't always know if he'll be free to hang out or not and because he's just too stressed out with college and work.
Am I being too harsh?
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"description": "being kinda pissed at strict perents",
"pronormative_score": 6,
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AITA for being kinda pissed at strict perents?
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I'm not that angry, I'm just kinda sad. Me and my friends were gonna go to someone's house, ask pizza and just chill.
Here are the facts:
My mom and step dad tell different reasons on why I couldn't go.
My dad said to me that he wasn't gonna let me go because I didn't know who would get me there, the exact adress of the person, when it would start/finish or how I could get back. Also because he had to go to a trip early in the morning the next day.
My mom said it was because my dad wouldn't sleep until I was back, and that he wanted to stay with me before the trip.
I knew who could get me there, my grandma, but my mom says that she's becoming a bad driver and it was raining. Maybe my stepdad could get me there I knew how I could get back, I have a friend that was going to the "party" that lives close to my house and he could drive me home. The party was probably gonna happen until 1 a m.
They say I spent all day just at home but when I try to go out with my friends to an unscheduled party on a SATURDAY they won't let me.
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| null |
AITA? A girl who I'm "talking to" got hurt because of me. Now she's out of a bad situation, but now I'm dealing with more than I bargained for.
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To keep things short I'll just tell the story.
I went over to a-girl-who-I'm-talking-to's house to Netflix and chill. Her parents weren't home, and good times were had. Things are over with, and we go downstairs to eat.
Then we hear the sound of a car locking, and she says, "that's my mom." I BOOK IT out the back door, as that was the plan discussed by me and GWITT, and hear her mom yell, "HEY!", as I ran out the back door. She came out and yelled "DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME!" I kept running.
I get to the next street in the neighborhood, and hide behind a house. I was scared her mom would come looking for me. From where I was I could hear her mom yelling at her in the house.
Later GWITT sends me a message saying her mom choked her. Her mom before this had been abusive. Admittedly I knew this before I ran.
Her parents are divorced, and she was supposed to go to her dad's house that day. Her dad showed up to pick her up and saw the marks on her neck. Police were called CPS were called.
Skipping a lot of in-between, her mom is now in legal trouble, and she's now out of the abusive household. Her mom will be charged.
Now for the second AITA. I was not prepared for all this. Due to the nature of abuse, she's not in a good place, and neither am I because of the turmoil of it being my fault she was choked by her mother. I'm not ready to help her deal with these issues. There was some emotions between us, but I feel like a bomb went off and I'm getting the 24 hour news cast. AITA for not wanting to deal with all of this? What should I do?
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HISTORICAL
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aqbbjc
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{
"description": "not paying for my sisters new bed",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for not paying for my sisters new bed?
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So I recently moved out of my rented flat(which I loved, rip) I shared with my friend and moved in with my dad as I have gotten into a bit of debt and my dad said I could live with him rent free in his spare room until I get back on my feet. The only furniture in the room besides my own is my older sister's old bedframe and mattress. My sister has never lived at my dads before but she has moved flats numerous times over the past few years, her last move being to an already furnished flat so she was using my dads spare room as storage for her old bed, it had been sitting there unused for about a year.
My sister was fine with me using the bed at first but about a week ago she messaged me saying she's moving (again). She's obviously very excited and sends lots of photos of her really nice flat and then she tells me she's gonna need to bed back.
I say that's fine, ask when she's moving in and she tells me she gets the keys in a few days but is still trying to get out the lease on her current flat and will take another 3 weeks.
My mum(who was on holiday at the time) called sometime later and said she'll go halfers to just get my sister a new bed for her flat so I didn't have to worry about getting a new bed for myself and said that we can sort out costs when she gets back in a few days.
The next day my sister gets the keys to the flat and won't stop messaging me for the money for the new bed. I told her just to wait a few days so mum could help me out as I was having money problems. She then calls our dad asking him to give her money, so I tell her again that me and mum are going to pay for it in a few days and to stop with the constant messaging. My sister isn't the most patient person. She then messages back about how nice she is being about the whole situation considering I'm sleeping in her bed and she needs to order a bed right now because it takes a while to arrive. We start to argue so eventually I just say 'If you want your bed come and take it, I'll sleep on the floor I don't care, but I'm not giving you any money'....am I the asshole here?
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HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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{
"description": "going to the gym with my very overweight friend",
"pronormative_score": 18,
"contranormative_score": 3
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AITA For going to the gym with my very overweight friend?
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I’ve been going to the gym with one of my friends who wants to get in shape. I being in decent shape, and know what I’m doing makes it easier for him to go to the gym. However if I don’t go with him he won’t go to the gym at all. The part where I may be the asshole is, every time we agree to meet up to the gym, I always show up 30-40 mins later than the agreed time. I do this because, I noticed he will go do cardio for 20-25 mins while he waits for me, then after I show up we will weight train together. IMO he needs cardio training more than anything. So you tell me, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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ahdmyq
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{
"description": "not letting my sister in my baby's life",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not letting my sister in my baby's life?
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This is going to be a little long, but the back story is essential for my reasoning. TL;DR at bottom.
I'm 23. My sister is 16. We have the same dad and different moms. We both had custody agreements growing up that put us both at my dad's on wednesdays and weekends. Being 7 years apart, we weren't the closest. We also had normal sibling problems and fights. Not getting too far into it, she was definitely my dad's favorite.
Until I was around 12 or 13 my dad was a heavy alcoholic. Very typical alcoholic at that. He used to punch me, treated me like shit, all the bad stuff. I absolutely hated him growing up. But he finally got sober (I'm more than grateful for it.) Which puts my sister at 5 or 6 years old. So she actually got the better version of dad than I did for the majority of her memory. I don't ever remember him ever laying a finger on her, especially the compared to the stuff I got.
Fast forward to a couple years ago. I think it started when she turned 13. She started distancing herself from my dad and his family (which is less than 15 people. Small family.) My dad would maybe see her once a month. Then once every 3 months or so. My dad is still kind of a dick, but he has a full heart. He's texted my sister every morning for the past 3 years and never gets a response. She's 90% given up on that side of the family. She says its because of my dads wife, but they've been together for almost 7 years I think, and she loved his wife when they first got together. So none of us really know the reason.
Fast forward again to last summer. My dad hadn't seen my sister in a full year. He gave in and invited her on the yearly family vacation. She went and on the last day, she punched our step brother, (9yrs old) called our step mom a cunt, and raised her hand to swing at our dad. She told my dad, indirectly, that she expects an apology before she'll talk to him. Which to me is fucking outrageous.
My Baby's due date was right before Christmas. Before Thanksgiving my sister, at this point still hasn't seen my dad or family, messaged my GF. She asked, "even though I don't want to see my dad and his family, can I still see the baby?" I told my GF to tell her, "no, that isn't fair to your dad." She never responded, and now in January, we have a beautiful baby girl and no one has heard from my sister. My dad and I have great relationship and he absolutely loves his granddaughter.
TL;DR. My sister gave up on our family and I haven't let her meet my baby.
So back to the point, AITA for not letting my sister meet my baby?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "making my Boyfriend choose me or his best friend",
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AITA For Making My Boyfriend Choose Me or His Best Friend?
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Okay ok, I know how this sounds but there is some backstory as well.
My boyfriend(23M) and I are a fairly new couple (1 Year), we’ve had a very open and honest relationship about our pasts with one another since the very beginning. We both in our past were a bit of players for a better word, and we both acknowledge and accept this.
He’s always been closer with girls and has always had more female friends then male. This has never bothered me as I feel secure in my relationship. However one of his closest and longest friendships was with a girl named Rachel.
Rachel and him have has a interesting past, back in high school towards the end of his first relationship he hooked up with her. They continued to be friends with benefits for four years, her always wanting to date him and him never wanting that commitment. They broke things off when my boyfriend discovered she was cheating on her boyfriend(which he was unaware she had) to sleep with him. The two broke contact and reconnected when they turned 20.
At this point one of them was always in a relationship and they remained only friends. Rachel would always tell him though that if things ever fell through with her current interest, he would always be her option B. She would still flirt with him and any time he showed interest in a girl she would bully anything and everything about her.
If Rachel wanted to hang out, my boyfriend had to be free or else she would get angry with him and yell at him. Vice versa if he ever wanted to hang out with her she would get mad unless he gave her a week in advanced. She’d say passive aggressive shit to him all the time if he ever did something she didn’t like, or if he was seeing another girl.
Around the time I came into the picture she became more and more determined to hang out with him, and grew increasingly more angry if he was ever busy. He wanted to tell her about me and she shut him down saying she never wanted to hear my name again because it was ‘ugly’ and she decided I was ‘toxic’ for him.
Every time my boyfriend brought her up to me it was always negative, “Rachel is doing this again”, “Rachel is telling me I can’t do this”, “Rachel said I shouldn’t do that without her permission”. You get the gist. He would constantly remind me how good of friends they were and how she probably hated me because he chose to date me when he never dated her—aka I was constantly reminded that they were indeed FWB for awhile.
It was getting to the point where every time he mentioned her on the daily I would just grit my teeth and get upset. I didn’t want to control who he hung out with or who he spoke to as I’ve always prided myself in not being that type of person, but, if whenever I brought up my concern about Rachel he’d always get agitated and shoot me down.
About a month ago he and I were having other issues and the topic of Rachel just kind of came up out of nowhere. I couldn’t hold it in anymore and every emotion and thought I had on this subject erupted out of me. He listened, defended her, listened some more and then agreed. I asked him to tell me one good thing she has done for him, one good thing he could tell me about her. All he could come up with was ‘Rachel has a good taste in music’.
I told him at the time I didn’t mind if he stayed friends with her, it would just make me extremely uncomfortable and I just had a bad feeling about the entire thing. He told me he understood my viewpoints and respected them and that he would end the friendship—and he did.
I didn’t think much of it but I felt weight off my shoulders. Everything was find until last night, we got into a mini argument and he told me I forced him to lose his friendship with Rachel, one of his closest friends. He told me he felt like his arm was twisted and I had given him an ultimatum: Either me or her. He thought it was awful and told me it was the only moment in our entire relationship he ever considered breaking up with me.
I feel awful that I put him through that without realizing it and it sucks hearing that it was relationship breaking, but at the same time I have no remorse and I’m glad she’s out of his life. To me he’s seemed much happier since then but that could just be me trying to ease my conscious. AITA for making him give up an 8 year friendship?
TL;DR I gave my boyfriend an ultimatum between me and a friendship he’s had for 8 years.
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HISTORICAL
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atyvj3
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"description": "thinking my parents ruined my birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 1,
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|
AITA for thinking my parents ruined my birthday party?
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My stepdad recently got a Sebring for 'nostalgia' since he owned a car like that as a teen. He is looking for bolts to install a part, but is missing the tool. His car is unable to move out of the garage, and therefore our guests can't play vr. In addition, my mom is still sleeping, leaving me to clean before guests come. So, AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
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aldmrl
|
{
"description": "not allowing my moms 2 cats in my room because they want too much love from me",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
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|
AITA for not allowing my moms 2 cats in my room because they want too much love from me?
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So, my mom has like tons of cats but 2 of them love coming into my room when I visit my mom on the weekends because the room is usually closed when I'm not there. They love cuddling on my bed when i'm playing some games or just taking a nap, it's cute. However, I want to be alone sometimes and have some me time without a cat hopping into my lap and loving me.
​
AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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OTHER
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RIGHT
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arriql
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{
"description": "breaking a lease to move back home to finish my studies",
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|
AITA for breaking a lease to move back home to finish my studies?
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So I live in another country where I am enrolled to do my PhD. I am in the final year of it and feeling very stressed to wrap it up before my stipend runs out in September. I am almost done with the first chapter and then the other two should be fairly smooth sailing (according to my supervisor) since this first one was the major foundation chapter. Then I have to write the intro/conclusion. My student visa ends at the end of May (I can get an extension) and I have been getting a lot of pressure to move home from my parents. I currently live with my partner and our pup that we adopted a few months ago (I protested that we weren't ready for a dog, but when we met her my heart melted and I couldn't say no). I moved in with my partner last year, after a few months of dating.
​
I love him and our pup very much, but I do not feel supported to do my PhD. I do almost all of the cooking and cleaning in the house (de facto gender roles), as well as try to work from home as much as possible to take care of our dog (we live in an apartment so she has to be taken on walks to use the bathroom, plus she has separation anxiety and often cries when left alone, though I have been training her out of this). I am fortunate in that most of my work can be done remotely on a laptop. However, I am far more productive in a campus environment or co-working space than at home. My partner works full time in an office.
​
I am considering moving home in May, as my parents have a condo that I can live in that is close to a university that I have contacts with (who would welcome me into their research group for a post doc when I hand in my thesis). I'm tempted to move home when my visa runs out, because I could focus on smashing out the last bit of writing and then work on grant proposals with my contacts at this other university.
I don't have many friends in my current city (essentially only my partner, and one other couple that we spend time with). I am homesick. But mostly I am stressed and really just want to finish my degree without the expectation that I also manage a household. My partner doesn't seem to think it is a problem for me to go to uni each day after lunch for a few hours and then come home and make dinner and wash up the dishes. I've tried to do this, and after dinner I try to work at the table, but he plays video games or watches movies (we live in a studio apartment) at full volume, where I can hear the dialogue through my headphones. Anytime I ask him to turn the volume down he gets irritated with me. I've asked him to take care of a few things before I get home from uni at 6:30/7ish (I try to make the hour long walk home before it gets dark), and it is never done. I had asked him once to fold the towels from the laundry I did that day before I came home and he threw a temper tantrum. I have asked him to help with the cleaning and cooking numerous times and he tells me I am nagging. I have tried to stress the gravity of this last year of my PhD and it feels like I am talking to a wall. Most of my friends were pulling 12 hour days most days of the week in their final year, and I know I have more work to complete than they did.
​
Financially, we split all of our bills evenly. He makes much more than my stipend, so when it is his pay week we tend to go out to eat more often or go to the pub more. He has said that since he makes more money, that he should not have to put as much into the labour of the house. I try to remind him that we split our expenses equally and the extra money is spent on luxuries that I would be fine with foregoing (I don't need to go to the pub when I have work to do, and so I often opt out of going if he has friends meeting him there too so he isn't alone). Once again, this goes in one ear and out the other. Every time it is my pay week, as well, he continues to be surprised and irritated that I don't have much left after paying our bills and buying food to spend on beers- it is like he has recurrent amnesia that I don't even get minimum wage on my stipend.
If I move back home, I would have to break our lease and I would effectively be breaking up with him and abandoning our dog. My partner wouldn't be able to come with me, and I don't think I would want him to, because it would be the same issues but in a different location. I do love him, but have been extremely frustrated since we've moved in together about essentially being his caretaker. I would love to take our dog with me, but I feel like that would be pouring salt on a wound.
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HISTORICAL
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b9x9ah
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{
"description": "being upset with my boyfriend about not wanting to visit my family anymore",
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|
AITA for being upset with my boyfriend about not wanting to visit my family anymore?
|
So my boyfriend and I have been together for several years and he has known my family for some time now. We used to visit them every couple of month and also stayed for several days since it is a rather far trip to my home town. The relationship between them has been ok, but they never got very close, partly because my boyfriend does not speak yet the language perfectly (he just moved here a couple of years ago), and my parents don’t speak English.
I think my mom has had some reservations against him from the start, but she never said so to me, let alone to him. Then last year we got engaged and when I announced it to my parents I could notice that she was not happy about it.
I have to add that my mom and I have had our disagreements in the past and there were several of my life choices that my mom was not ok with (for example me moving away from my home town, studying abroad for a year etc...). She is not the type of person that you can persuade to change her mind, so I just stopped arguing with her, because it only ends in a huge fight.
So last Christmas, my boyfriends’ mother was coming to visit him and I thought it would be nice if we could all celebrate Christmas together. My parents have a big house, so there is enough room for everybody to stay 1-2 nights. I had however forgotten that Christmas is a huge deal for my mom, where she decorates the whole house, is envolved in a lot of voluntary work and is in general very stressed out. So when I asked her if it was ok that this year not only my boyfriend would come but also his mom, she totally freaked out and basically told me that this was completely impossible.
So my boyfriend had to tell his mom that she could not stay at my families’ place after all, because I had already told them both that it wouldn’t be a problem (yes that was stupid of me).
So we ended up celebrating Christmas separately, he with his mom and me with my family (because I also wanted to see my sisters and my dad).
Since then my boyfriend has refused to visit my parents because he still feels deeply offended that they would not welcome his mother.
I wanted to see them for the Easter holidays, but when I mentioned it to him he categorically refused to come and said that it would take a very long time until he would be able to look at my mom again. And he said I should respect that decision and not pressure him any further.
But I think we are both mature and tolerant enough to be able to ignore that incident for a couple of days, because there is no point arguing with my mom anyway. She won’t see that she did something wrong.
So am I an asshole for telling him that he as my partner should come with me to see my family, even if he is in disagreement with my mother?
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HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
5l0JbOcqxyDh0MBano18sYosPNPcLi9s
|
aldcly
|
{
"description": "not wanting to take custody of my nephew",
"pronormative_score": 45,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to take custody of my nephew?
|
Throwaway because reasons.
The nephew in question is my wife's brother's kid. He was dealt a lousy hand from day 1. His father is a deadbeat heroin user and his mother a literal crack whore. Not long after the baby was born they lost custody and it was given to my in-laws. However, this didn't effectively change too much. The birth mother more or less disappeared, but my brother-in-law lived with my in laws, so even though he didn't have custody, he was still there.
Fast forward 8 years, my father in law died a few years back and my mother in law has dementia. The brother in law's drug habit is severe, and he's been in and out of hospitals for ODs and drug related health conditions. He's become unstable and abusive towards my MIL and nephew. My nephew has been raised in a house of horrors with no real parental guidance and has a lot of behavioral issues. All he has ever known is constantly screaming and violent behavior. He has attacked and severely hurt animals (once stabbing a dog and recently severely beat another with a piece of rebar.) We have three geriatric pets. I worry about their safety with him.
Social services has been a constant presence in their lives, and the police are called out to the house several times a year for various domestic issues. My MIL has refused to do anything to either move away from there or kick her son out of the house, because through all of it, she still feels like she needs to take care of him. Social Services has now decided to remove the child from the home, and with no one else coming forward, it's come down to either my wife and I take custody, or he goes into foster care.
Now, a few things about my home situation. First, my wife and I have two older kids, both living at home. One is in college, the other is a senior in High School. Both kids have their own issues, which I'm not going to go into because even with the throwaway there's enough identifying information here that someone familiar with the situation wouldn't have a hard time figuring out my identity. Suffice it to say, there's a lot going on there, and I'm trying to make sure my kids are OK.
I'm in my 40s, and we've struggled financially. I have a good income, but I just wiped out the last of my savings to deal with a large home repair. I have 0 dollars for retirement right now. For the most part, I'm living paycheck to paycheck. My wife went back to school when the kids were old enough to allow it. After 9 years she just finished with her Masters and is about to start her first real job in almost 20 years on Monday.
We separated a few years ago. We got back together, but the underlying issues that led to our separation are still largely unresolved. I have concerns about the stability of our relationship with all of these changes.
​
My wife and I are both in poor health for our ages. Even before the custody issue was raised my wife was contemplating whether or not she could hold down a full time job with all of her doctors appointments and physical issues. My physical issues compound my lifelong struggles with depression and anxiety disorder, which is often severe. I struggle to get by day to day.
When I told my wife I had reservations about taking custody, she told me she'd leave me if I don't agree. In her words "I'm not letting him go into foster care. I'll get my own place. I'm not going to live in my own place and stay married, so I'd want a divorce."
I was completely overwhelmed by life BEFORE this came up. When I stop and think about taking on another kid, I feel panic. I think "I can't do this. I can barely hang on right now. This will break me." When I try to tell my wife how I feel she says I'm being dramatic and repeats her threat to leave if I don't agree.
​
I don't know how many years I've got left as a functional, mobile person. Pushing back the clock on raising kids ten years feels like it means if I ever am done raising kids, I'll be too sick to do anything. Financially, I'll have two kids I'm trying to support in college by this fall. I barely knew how I'd make ends meet before this, but adding the expense of another kid wasn't in the plans.
​
TL;DR My nephew is being removed from his shitty living situation by social services. My wife says she'll leave me if I don't agree to take him in. I'm in no shape financially, physically, or mentally to do it.
How about it, Reddit...am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 31,
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
prsQ3fbSmqmzPmJrpCFJ5h3dtsIpaVwk
|
axp3pr
|
{
"description": "being upset that my close friend/ex uninvited me from his birthday party because he is seeing someone else",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being upset that my close friend/ex uninvited me from his birthday party because he is seeing someone else?
|
Here's the backstory: I (F19) dated this guy, let's say called Ben (M30), on and off for about 3 months last summer. He messed up a lot, mostly through using me for sex and to get over his ex while telling me he liked me at the same time to keep me hanging on.
I eventually figured out what he had been doing and blocked him for a month. During that month I got the space I needed and he realised he actually did like me for real. After a lot of convincing on Ben's part we agreed to start 'seeing eachother'. This was November. After two weeks I had already figured out I couldn't trust him again the way I had originally and told him it was friends or nothing. He was hurt but agreed to friends as we both don't want to lose each other. We have since remained very close friends and hang out at least once or twice a week.
It has now come round to Ben's 30th birthday and I had been invited about a month ago to attend his party. Last week Ben started dating a new girl and has now told me I can't come to his party because of her.
I feel hurt because me and Ben have known each other for a year and he is excluding me for a girl he's known all of two weeks. I felt like our friendship was worth more than that and expressed this to him. He just told me "not to be like that". I just need to know, AITA?
TLDR: ex, now very close friend, has excluded me from his birthday because he has found a new girl in the last week
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
0NFaMdDXDe0pwcPUiH7ae7vPCBvNxOHo
|
b0w69m
|
{
"description": "calling my friend out for talking shit about our other mutual friend by putting him on speakerphone",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for calling my friend out for talking shit about our other mutual friend by putting him on speakerphone?
|
This happened a few years ago. I was with a friend of mine at the time. We're not cool anymore. He was talking a lot of shit about our other mutual friend while he wasn't there. He was out of line imo. He'd been like this for a while and I was pretty fed up with his shit so I called him out and said "bet you won't say that to his face". He tried to play it off like he would. So I called his bluff, whipped out my phone and called the other friend and put it on speakerphone. I said "Hey XYZ has something to tell you". But of course he backpedaled like a mother. We stopped being friends after that. Was I being the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
3LjSbtnSD55K3jYolrdvi5Atfml2KWGI
|
b0qmzz
|
{
"description": "cutting my dad out of my life after he threw my Christmas gifts back at me",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting my dad out of my life after he threw my Christmas gifts back at me?
|
Ok, my parents are at the very end of their divorce. My dad has always been an ass but he's my dad so I just tried to ignore things.
When my mom left my dad about a year and a half ago, she moved in with me and my husband and actually acted as nanny for my first child who was born about 3 weeks after she moved in.
Things got difficult with my dad because he said I enabled my mom to leave him because I let her move in with me. Once my daughter reached a year old, we put her into a daycare/school so that she could continue to grow socially and get education (my mom is not a teacher or anything). This also allowed my mom to go "back to work" and get a job (she was working full time for us and we did pay her). My dad has made it very clear that he thinks this wasn't a real job and that she should have gotten a job making more money.
At Christmas, I tried to reach out to my dad to see him and exchange gifts, let him see is granddaughter, etc... He lives about 4 hours away and has barely spent any time with my daughter since she was born (he refuses to be anywhere my mom is... We have made trips up to see him without my mom and he came down to see us once).
Anyways, he refused to return my text messages regarding Christmas so I basically said that I tried and it was on him if he wanted to see his granddaughter.
We we're actually in town and went to pick up my sister for our Christmas trip (she was carpooling with us to Colorado). She lives with my dad whenever not in school so I figured I could give him his gifts when we went to pick her up.
He refused to accept my gifts and ended up throwing them at my head as I walked back down the driveway. I have not spoken to him since. He has also made no attempt to reach out to me. I am now pregnant with my second child and don't feel as though I need to include him in any way. I haven't even told him I was pregnant. Either my sister told him or he found out in family court (they are still working on finalizing the divorce).
Either way, it's been a week since the court date and he has still not reached out. I am ok with this as I feel like he shouldn't get to be a part of my life or more importantly, my kids lives. I had to deal with so much emotional garbage from growing up with him that I don't think it is a loss for my children to not have to put up with it.
AITA for depriving my kids of their grandfather?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
ZzNBzm4osAU70MQY7fJziIYjgZzdiJG8
|
a31832
|
{
"description": "taking my friend's fears personally",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 16
}
|
AITA for taking my friend's fears personally?
|
Me and a couple of close friends (4 guys and 5 girls) where hanging out at our friend's house over the weekend. After dinner we all sat down, had a couple of beers and talked with each other, just like we usually do. I noticed that one of my friends (let's call her Kelly) wasn't drinking and it then struck me that I couldn't remember the last time I've seen her drink alcohol. I absolutely don't have anything against people who choose to stay sober, but Kelly had told us stories about her recently getting drunk so I knew that she wasn't fully abstaining from it. I asked her about this and also reaffirmed that I didn't mind it at all and was just being curious. She told me that for the last year or so she had refrained from getting drunk among men since she didn't feel safe doing so. This of course made me concerned. I asked her if there was any specific incident that had made her come to this conclusion, but she assured me that it wasn't. She said it was a decision that grew forth over time from reading the news, hearing stories and things like men groping her at the club.
Now this is where the potential assholery begins. In the group we have all known each other for at least five years and I've known Kelly since grade school. The house we stayed in was out in the forrest, far away from anyone else so we weren't going to meet any other people that night. When she said this I therefore interpreted it as that she didn't trust us guys not to take advantage of her if she got drunk. As far as I can tell none of us has ever shown any tendencies that would support this. We've all gotten drunk together plenty of times and I've never seen any of them make unwanted advances or anything like that. I told Kelly that I understood where she was coming from, but that I felt hurt that she choose to apply this rule even when it was just us guys from the friend group there. During my explanation two other friends, one guy and one girl, joined the conversation and asked us what we were talking about. I let Kelly tell them the story whereupon the other guy reacted basically the same way as I did. The girl however told us both that it was non of our business and that Kelly didn't have to motivate her decisions to us. I handled this the same way I always do when a confrontation is imminent: I told a joke at my own expense and changed the subject. We didn't talk anymore about it, but the rest of the weekend was a little tense between the people on the opposing sides of the conversation.
Am I the asshole for taking this personally or at least for calling her out on it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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"NOBODY": 3,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 16
}
|
WRONG
|
kFCRwkto242Mnt9Q6XJ7OmyN8BooZpEV
|
aj2yff
|
{
"description": "yelling at a girl for using her teeth on purpose during oral sex without my consent",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 14
}
|
AITA For yelling at a girl for using her teeth on purpose during oral sex without my consent?
|
Not a whole lot of exposition here, I met a girl through tinder, we have been seeing each other casually.
While she is giving me head, I'm looking at her, and I can see her smirk and then purposely drag her front teeth across my dick. I immediately, reflexively pull out which hurts even worse, and as her what the fuck is her problem.
She is taken aback and just says that she was being playful, that shes done it before to other dudes who apparently liked it (i cant see how) and that im making a bigger deal out of it than needed.
I told her not to assume shit, she says whatever and I left.
Am I the asshole for yelling or is she the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 10,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 14
}
|
WRONG
|
rd093pir7CdzVPD7rz38akII1Dce4x8T
|
a7s0lv
|
{
"description": "freezing out a friend who ditched my wedding after rsvping yes",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for freezing out a friend who ditched my wedding after RSVPing yes?
|
I’ve known this woman since college. She was a really good friend to me while I was in college, even after she graduated and I was still in school. I moved to the same area she lived in after I graduated. She was dating / married this guy who expected a lot of her and is kind of a misogynist, but we kept the relationship going. She had baby number 1, still friends, though it got harder just because he refuses to help so she had all of the kid responsibilities. But we adapted - when we did get together, we always picked a place she could bring the kiddo.
Within the last year, she had baby number 2, and I got married a few months later. When we sent out the invitations, I was kind of surprised that she was the first one to RSVP, and she said how excited they were about the wedding (her ex was in my wedding party, which is why it was surprising she was so excited). But okay, great, see ya there. Fast forward to the day of the wedding, had a great time. The next morning it hits me - I don’t think she was there. Confirmed with our planner and people at their table. They just never showed. When I posted our wedding pictures on Facebook, she sent me a 2am text basically saying “oh crap I forgot”. I said we missed her. That it. Never sent a card, gift, or anything to acknowledge that she not only missed it for no good reason (she has access to reliable childcare too, so unlikely that was the reason), or that we shelled out a ton of money for two places that went unused at an expensive wedding.
She reached out to me this week for the first time since the wedding (almost 4 months ago) to say “do you have any time before Christmas?” It’s a week before. Seriously?
At this point my husband is so very done with these friends. He hates the husband because he’s a heavy drinker and treats his wife like a servant, and the wedding was the final straw. I am still really hurt, but I also feel bad walking away from a friend who helped me through some tough times a long time ago. At the same time, the fact that she thinks a text makes up for being a no-show for no good reason has me feeling really put out.
TL;DR: She RSVP’ed yes for 2 and then skipped out for no reason. No real apology but she has a crappy husband and two little kids. Can I let the friendship fizzle?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
9tZ8Ty3AJ34y4auwetf7I4nfbHKAnct6
|
b0a61a
|
{
"description": "not going to my sisters wedding",
"pronormative_score": 15,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not going to my sisters wedding
|
My sister is getting married next month.
Up to this day she didn't mention this in any way.
I must add the two of us don't have the closest relation, and I surely can't stand her boyfriend.
Today I got an invitation with a deadline until the 15.03. that makes 3 days!!!! to tell If I attend or not!
My problem is I have a vacation planned for that week. And I utterly hate weddings.
My conscience says to attend for the families sake, but I have no intention to go there.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 15,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
M406JDYstUy4PFCTg1bqAKcZTnsfynmS
|
ao7h3z
|
{
"description": "faking orgasm with my bf",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for faking orgasm with my BF?
|
Ok this is a throwaway account because I'm a Redditor and dont want this post in my normal account history.
To start off, I am one of those women who cant orgasm vaginally, I can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation and this has caused issues between my boyfriend of almost 2yrs and I. When we first got together and he found out I cant orgasm vaginally he started bragging about how many orgasms other women have had through him vaginally(immature I know...we are both in our late 30s so that was an ew moment for me). He's referred to me as an alien, abnormal, and being broken sexually. We've tried toys and whatnot to get me to cum vaginally but it just doesnt work so he usually just goes down on me to get me off.
I don't need to get off everytime we have sex and Ive told him I dont expect him to get me off everytime, most of the time Im perfectly satisfied with just a good pounding, but it really bothers him to the point of he gets irritated at me that I cant cum through intercourse and then I feel like there's some thing wrong with me. This has turned sex into something somewhat stressful and makes it take longer than normal for me to cum when he goes down on me because the whole time Im feeling self conscious. I feel like if I cant get to orgasm quickly then I've failed at sex and making him happy.
3 weeks ago I started taking anti depressants, and a side effect is inability to orgasm or taking much longer to get there than normal. I told him this but he's getting even more irritated now because he wants me to cum within minutes when he goes down.
The last two times he went down on me it felt great as usual but I just didnt feel any of the usual build up to climax and I knew if I told him I didnt think I was going to cum because of the meds he would say something assholish about me being broken again, so I decided to fake it both times. He was happy that he "made me cum" and asked for the usual accolades and I avoided the awkwardness and irritation from him afterwards. I feel bad about being deceptive, Ive never had this be a problem in any of my previous relationships and have never faked an orgasm before. AITA?
TL;DR faked two orgasms because boyfriend gets irritated when I cant cum quickly.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 4,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
Xw5fy6q9WGn7TnMbFYoAnNYMwqhvuCtW
|
az32fr
|
{
"description": "\"taking\"a guy my friend has shown no interest in",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for ”taking”a guy my friend has shown no interest in?
|
TL;DR at the bottom
So, a little backstory. Me and my friend has been really close since a couple years back, we share everything.
A while back she started talking to this guy and at first I thought there was something between them so of course I asked like a million times.
Every time the same answer.
We’re just friends, I don’t like him, etc. After a while I just gave up because it seemed pretty clear that they were in fact just friends.
Now I’ve been single for way to long in my opinion and I easily get bored of people, therefore I start talking to new people all the time and I stumbled upon this guy. I got his number and we talked for a couple hours that night.
Like I earlier mentioned me and my bestie keep no secrets so I told her that I was talking to this guy. Since I had joked about the two of them before I left the following message “haha think I might have stolen you boyfriend just now”. She doesn’t have a boyfriend so at first she was like what? Who are you talking about?
I explain to her that I got this guys number and had talked to him quite a lot the night before and she FREAKED OUT.
I’m just gonna say it again, she had said multiple times that there’s nothing between them and never will be and I trusted her.
So now she was all mad at me and I could not for the life of me figure out why. Of course I asked again if she was into him and again she said no.
My bestie is a little on the jealous side and I understand that but she wouldn’t even let me talk to a guy SHE WASN’T EVEN INTERESTED IN.
At this point I was quite mad.
We argued for a bit and she literally forbid me to talk to him.
Now I’m no saint so I talked to him a tiny bit but making sure I wasn’t actually getting to know him. I know that was wrong but that is not what I need help with so moving on.
After a couple days she finally tells me that she kinda liked the idea of him. After about a week she gave me permission to talk to him again but she’s still being all passive aggressive about it. I know what I did is wrong but I kinda think her reaction was uncalled for.
I really like this guy and hopefully he likes me too but this whole situation is kinda ridiculous.
TL;DR
My friend is friends with this guy, I start talking to him, she panics and forbids me to talk to him.
Please help me decide if I’m the asshole. I know I should’ve made sure that she was okay with it but am I really the only one to blame for this mess?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
qaTTeHRPdGx4aHRFSzxHPneP9CkvKknK
|
avw5hj
|
{
"description": "going after a girl my friend liked even though she liked me and he says that about everyone",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for going after a girl my friend liked even though she liked me and he says that about everyone
|
So long story short I(21 M) am apart of a friend group with about 10 people roughly all the same ages. We went on this trip to snowboard and all of us stayed in a big cabin. One of our girl friends decided to bring a friend of hers who none of us really hung out with before. This guy in the group who literally fangirls about everyone would always comment how pretty she was etc. He says this about so many people he follows on instagram/knows etc. At the trip I was going through some personal stuff and so I would spend some time outside walking and thinking. Soon enough the new girl (Elle) came out with me and talked with me about what I was going through. I still saw her as nothing but a friend, especially because my friend was obsessed with her lmao. Some of these guys in the group always would say things to make feel not confident, and like I couldn't get girls which is lame because they all know Im just really nice and picky.
One the trip ends the new girl Elle started texting me and always wanted to hang out. I drove like 30 minutes to see her and even invited everyone in the group to come and they decided not to. I made it clear to them that I was hanging with Elle, even to the guy that "liked" her. After a few times hanging out she told me she was interested and I said I was too, but my friend liked her so we have to let everyone know whats up. The next night when I was going to tell everyone, we were out at a bar with the group and Elle was being super touchy with me and all that. Everyone in the group got the idea that she was interested in me, and tied the knots together that we have been hanging out and immediately assumed the worst.
They all left me and Elle at the bar, and didnt even let me explain. The next day I was trying to explain everything to them, even the part that I didnt do anything with Elle because I didnt tell them yet. They were crazy about everything and called me a piece of shit and that i somehow stole Elle from the guy in my group even though she NEVER liked him/showed interest, and he likes everyone. I ended up just forgetting them all as friends, because I feel like they were never there for me or made me feel good...BUT I alway think to this and wonder AITA for everything that happened?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 10,
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OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1P5tcxfYItSRQFoC8qArhFx9kiEUfx8N
|
9ymw3p
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend I might like swinging",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend I might like swinging
|
So I am in my first ever relationship, going strong for 1.5 years. We are long distance right now and using a fun little app called happy Couple where you have to answer questions about your partner. The topic of swinging came up and I said that I might be interested in it while she said that she can only imagine sex for loving couples. I feel like I might have some kind of FOMO on different sex? I've never had sex with anyone else and I know that it's amazing with her.
Now she says that she is uncomfortable with me saying that I might like swinging :/
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 0,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
WRONG
|
WoWTOFWdThLUWAEsT6fnr6NFqDBNa9dv
|
b6wfzo
|
{
"description": "asking for the larger bed",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for asking for the larger bed?
|
On vacation with our friends: another couple and a woman without her partner. I had the idea to book the Airbnb back in January. I noticed that it had two queen sized beds and a double: perfect. Couples get the queens and the one without the partner gets the double. Seems logical to me.
We get in last night and the one without the partner has claimed the queen bed and stuck us in the double. I was pretty pissed and am still kinda mad that I have to be cramped in a double bed with my partner on my vacation.
WIBTA for asking for the queen sized bed?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 4,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Y2NULtXywC7kvL8cf9ZT0zceQGaADsrb
|
akqf19
|
{
"description": "kicking out my sister",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for kicking out my sister?
|
This is my first time posting to /r/AmItheAsshole so i am sorry if i break any of the rules of the subreddit, or have any weird formatting issues.
Me (17M) and my sister (19F) have come from a very abusive household. My mother has been disabled for as long as i can remember, and my father has always physically and verbally abused me and my sister (My parents have been divorced since we were kids). It stopped when we got into our freshman year of highschool when we both decided to stop talking to him and seeing him on the weekends. I am now in my senior year of high school and my sister is now out on her own. She started getting into cocaine very heavily and its part of the reason why we kicked her out of me and my mother's apartment. She had nowhere to go so she just stayed with her friends, months roll by and she STILL doesn't have a job and into drugs more than ever. Her “Friends” got tired of her shit too and decided to kick her out. At this point me and my disabled mother couldn't afford to pay for the apartment anymore, so we moved in with our grandparents.
My sister, still having nowhere to go, thought it was a good idea to move back in with out dad, and he forced her to get a actual job and hold it down. this was about 4 months ago. We got a call from her last night that my father was beating and threatening her again so we left and picked her up for the night. We told her that she could stay ONE night while she finds a new place to stay.
During the night we let her over, she brought over one of her guy friends and snuck him into the house, she completely trashed my bathroom, leaving her makeup and shit everywhere while still leaving piss in the toilet and not flushing, literally like a child. Her dog, that i let stay downstairs, Pissed all over my carpet and the living room carpet. (Keep in mind i am allergic to dogs, not to the point of dying, but i will make me break out in SEVERE hives)
I now want NOTHING to do with her, she has treated me and my mother like shit for the entire time she was with us, and now expects us to come running to her safety when she makes bad decisions. So, am I the asshole here?
(Also i have not just thrown her onto the streets with her own caution to the wind, I am giving her a ride to wherever she needs to go to get shelter, and currently am in the process of helping her find apartments that she can afford and live in)
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"description": "not sharing a friends' gofundme for her dead hamsters vet bill",
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AITA for not sharing a friends’ gofundme for her dead hamsters vet bill?
|
So this woman is my boyfriend’s brothers wife. We’ve hung out somewhat, I don’t really know if I’d call her a friend but I had her added on Facebook.
My boyfriend messaged me the other day telling me that her hamster died and that she was an absolute wreck. I saw several posts on her Facebook mourning the loss of her hamster. I was out of town visiting some friends and family at the time.
She messages me on Facebook asking me to share a gofundme for her vet bills. It was so fucking cringy and emoji filled I could barely stand to read it. It was the biggest sob story and all over some hamster she had for like a few months, and attached to the post was some poem about dead pets she found on google titled ‘the rainbow bridge.’
I told her I’d share it because I didn’t want to be an asshole, but I never did end up sharing it. I don’t post a lot of stuff on Facebook and the stuff I do post is just stupid memes and videos most of the time.
I just thought it was really cringy to beg for money over the loss of a hamster and act that distraught on social media. At this point, since the hamster was dead, it was solely to benefit her. I probably would have shared it if the hamster was sick or something but it just really rubbed me the wrong way. She’s in her 30s and I would expect a 7 year old to take losing a hamster better than she did.
TL;DR - didn’t share a friends gofundme for vet bills for her hamster because it was a huge annoying sob story.
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "not wanting to give my ex-roommate half of the portion of the deposit we got back because she caused the majority of the damage in our apartment",
"pronormative_score": 31,
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|
AITA for not wanting to give my ex-roommate half of the portion of the deposit we got back because she caused the majority of the damage in our apartment?
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So my ex-roommate’s and I’s lease ended around a month ago and we just got part of our deposit back. We met up at a cafe to talk about it. The deposit was $1500 and we got back $1000. They sent a list of damages with the cost of repairs along with it - $100 for the holes in the wall, $100 for the holes in the window screens (thanks to her cat) and a whopping $300 for the floors in her room to be redone. She had her cat's litter box in her room and she was an absolute slob about it. Her cat frequently pissed, shit and vomited about her room, seemingly anywhere but the litterbox, and she never cleaned it up (anytime it was in the common room, I was the one who cleaned it). Consequently, it ruined the nice wood floors in her room and the cost to repair her floors is $300. The refund was deposited into my account (she never had anything to do with the rent/bills/lease/account; she left that all up to me). I have the copy of the damages list too.
When we saw the list, she said, “Well that’s not bad! At least we both get $500!” and I immediately disagreed. I told her that we can split the cost of the holes in the wall and even the screens (even though that was her cat who ripped them up, she constantly left the windows open even though I frequently asked her not to), but she was going to assume the cost of her floors. So I would get $650 ($100 in fees for me) and she would get $350 ($400 in fees for her). She immediately exploded and said that wasn’t fair and told me I was being a “huge fucking asshole” and that “damages are just part of having an apartment”. I disagreed and said that I have written proof that the damage happened in her room and showed her the list again. She said that if I didn't give her half of the deposit she was going to sue me and stormed out of the cafe we were at.
This conversation just happened and I still have the whole refund, and I'm conflicted about what to do. I feel like I’m being fair given the circumstances, but maybe not. AITA? Does my roommate have any legal leverage to make me give her half of the deposit?
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AITA for wanting my SO to cut someone out of their life?
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My boyfriend has a new acquaintance who is a girl. They have known each other for about a month. The girl is in a relationship, but spends her time whining about her boyfriend to my boyfriend about how she is not sure they should be together. My boyfriend has encouraged her to work her relationship out.
She constantly asks my boyfriend if he's going out that night. She's sent him drunk selfies at night. She asked him to go to her old high school alumni ball with her, because her boyfriend couldn't come and she had already bought a couple's ticket. (my boyfriend refused because he had a friend's birthday party that night). She jokes about how much she likes a certain hoodie my boyfriend has. She jokes about how much she likes the way he talks. She has used phrases like "where have you been all of my life". Ever since they met, she has always been aware that my boyfriend is in a happy relationship. Her actions feel extremely flirty to me and my personal opinion is that she is an inappropriate cunt.
We have talked about this with my boyfriend. He says he has no interest in her and I believe him. He says that he understands why I would be uncomfortable but he doesn't want to be rude to her. Again, I get it - he's kind of the human version of Mr. Peanutbutter and just wants everyone to get along and be happy.
At the same time I feel very irritated. I want him to set hard boundaries with this girl because honestly I wouldn't be surprised at anything she'd try to do at this point. I would like him to tell her to fuck off permanently. He doesn't want to be too harsh to her and would still like to be (platonically) friendly with her. Technically he hasn't done anything wrong and I know he has no intention to. However, I also feel like he hasn't made enough of a clear statement about how he is not interested in her, because clearly mentioning his girlfriend (aka me) hasn't been enough to deter her.
Am I the asshole for wanting him to cut her out of his life completely? Also am I overreacting to her behaviour or would this be considered normal between platonic friends who have known each other for a month?
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HISTORICAL
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{
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AITA for telling my drama team to shut the hell up?
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Reposted because of a typo I'm the title
This is sort of a long one so sorry in advance.
My drama team participated in a forensics (basically just a competition that has different categories that you do short pieces in as individuals or as duo's) competition yesterday. The competition went 3 hours longer than expected due to complications with the judges scoring etc. We did place second at the competition as a team which we were all happy about.
Now my girlfriend deals with a lot of anxiety when it comes to large groups of people and almost the entire team knows that. She was very nervous and antsy all day but did very well in her category. However my team decided to constantly yell and play music on speakers on the way back from the competition (there were two speakers playing completely different songs so it was deafening) and my girlfriend is hyper sensitive to noise so she began to panic very very bad to the point she was doubled over crying. I asked everyone if they could please quieten down at least three times, telling them the situation, but they still refused to stop.
At this point I was very pissed off and decided enough was enough and yelled "Can you all please shut the hell up my girlfriend is having a panic attack for fucks sake!"
While I feel that what I said was a bit extreme, I did ask them several times to please just quieten down as I was fine with the music and talking as we just placed well in a competition and they all just ignored me, so AITA?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "getting ahold of someone to go check on my boyfriend after his friend committed suicide and I couldn't reach him",
"pronormative_score": 7,
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AITA for getting ahold of someone to go check on my boyfriend after his friend committed suicide and I couldn’t reach him?
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So last weekend my boyfriend’s friend was apparently found dead in his car of a self inflicted gunshot wound. No one really knows what happened or why. My boyfriend was at work when he found out, texted me that he was going home, wanted to be left alone, was going to shut his phone off and then turn it back on the next day. About a week or so prior to this he himself had made a comment about being Tommen Baratheon done with everything. (For those who have never seen Game Of Thrones, Tommen takes his crown off and then walks out a window). I went to his house on my lunch the next day and he didn’t answer the door. His phone was still turned off. I went back to work but I was still worried about him, so I looked up his previous roommate who is currently deployed on Facebook and sent him a message asking if this was normal behavior. When he said yeah, that my boyfriend had done this before, I just gave him a thumbs up and said ok thanks. Well.... The roommate called my boyfriend’s supervisor and the supervisor and another coworker drove over to his house. Apparently he hadn’t called in sick or filed for leave or anything and was completely drunk, beer bottles everywhere and house was a giant mess with clothes everywhere and trash on the floor. When I got there the supervisor was shaking his head and telling my boyfriend that he needed to clean up and then chastising him and asking “I’ll see you at work tomorrow, right?!” My boyfriend is pissed at me and blaming me because now he’s in trouble at work and has to go see his first shirt on Monday. I was just concerned about him and I don’t think I did anything wrong. I could have called the police instead I guess, but I honestly didn’t know the roommate was going to call the supervisor.
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "telling coworker I can't take her shift",
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AITA for telling coworker I can't take her shift
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Today I woke up 10Am to my phone vibrating someone was calling me but I did not recognize the number, and the call lasted for about 5 seconds so I assumed someone got the wrong number. Later on I get a few text messages saying 'hey can you please work for me from 12-18.30 My throat is aching " then 2 minutes later I get another one saying "please I'm always there when you need to swap shifts or when you're sick please " and she proceeds to try to guilt trip me a bit into saying yes, keep in mind I haven't even replied yet. (She usually send me snaps about work so I've never texted her before) Plus I've not been sick or in need to get away with a shift for a long time so I felt that her sayins she's always been here felt odd. She said she didn't want to call in sick because it's with a short notice and yeh it's true but its a short notice for me too, and she seemed to not care that I may have plans or not.
I also got plans for today, I'm going to buy Christmas presents with my boyfriend and then we are going to his place for dinner, his family invited me over and I'm not gonna call a rain check on them because of work.
I of course feel bad for my coworker but spamming me and trying to guilt trip me into working instead of her made me annoyed and I feel like it's going to be a bit tense between us now, we work this weekend together when we close and open so it's going to be only us for a few hours.
I think she should have just called in sick, when we do that our manager sends out s text to everyone asking if someone could cover the shift or a few hours of it and if it doesn't work we can hire this extra service called store support that will help us. I told her 'no I got plans for today sorry!' and she hasn't replied yet. But AITE? I feel bad but I'm not sure if I was rude or not
Tl:Dr coworker spammed me and tried to guilt trip me into taking her shift she didn't want to call in sick. Tried to pressure me into saying yes by saying she's always her for me which isn't that true. I got plans for today and she's annoyed.
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"description": "saying I will remove my roommate's belongings from my house if she's not out in 4 days",
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AITA for saying I will remove my roommate's belongings from my house if she's not out in 4 days?
|
She moved into the house I own on a handshake agreement - a specific rent price due on a specific day and one month notice before moving out.
There were a bunch of red flags when she moved in (segregating the kitchen stuff so there were two spaces for everything) that grew into real issues (such as closing the spare bathroom door that her cat pissed in repeatedly instead of effectively cleaning it and eventually refusing to talk to me for the last several weeks) and early this week I told her we either needed to sit down and talk it out or I needed her to start looking for another place to live.
She texted me today that she's moving out this weekend but would be in and out for the rest of the month - none of the notice that we talked about.
I responded that she could have until midnight Sunday and that I would be removing anything left in the house on monday. I took no security deposit when she moved in and I need to find a roommate to replace her. She has a place to go and will be fine.
tl;dr - roommate didn't give notice for moving out, so I gave her a shorter time frame than she gave me.
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{
"description": "leaving/ghosting my GF that was financially dependent on me without warning after discovering she cheated on me",
"pronormative_score": 1113,
"contranormative_score": 240
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|
AITA for leaving/ghosting my GF that was financially dependent on me without warning after discovering she cheated on me
|
**With regards to the meta post:** I know I'm not an asshole for leaving her. I'm more concerned with the way I went about it.
-------------------------
My gf and I have been together for 7+ years, have long talked about marriage, and talked even more about future kids. She quit her job a couple of years back to pursue a medical degree.
Last week I discovered she had cheated on me with an ex-BF from high-school. I needed to use her phone to call mine, and went I unlocked her phone it was open on a WhatsApp conversation between them. I have nothing against the guy personally, but he's going no where in life and I don't understand why she'd want to be with him.
Anyway, rather than sadness/heartbreak this actually just made angry. Angry that I've put so much into this relationship and woman that I thought would be the mother of my future children. Angry that I've been supporting her through college including rent/food/tuition. Just angry.
So I arrange a locksmith to change the locks the next day while she's at class, pack up as much of her stuff as I can find, and leave it outside. Text her of what I've done, and say if she wants to get anything else I've missed to have her brother come and get it - I don't want to see or speak to her ever again.
Anyway, since I did this both my parents and hers have been relentlessly calling me. They say that what she did is wrong - but it's no reason to throw away 7+ years - and that if I kick her out she will be forced to drop out and waste years of education.
What do you guys think? Am I the asshole here? Should I swallow my pride and approach this differently?
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HISTORICAL
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AITA for getting pissed at someone whilst checking out at the store
|
Okay, just yesterday I went to the store to buy some snacks to eat for the night. I went to the self checkout area and started scanning my items as usual. After this I tried using my card but it was constantly being denied. I screwed with it for a while before calling an employee over to help with it. Meanwhile a mom with her kids is standing off to the side giving me an angry look, when I look back she says something along the lines of, "What are you doing, there are people waiting, do you not know how to operate the machine?" It wasn't necessarily the words that set me off, but more so her tone of voice, which to me felt unnecessarily hostile and confrontational. After that I promptly told her to fuck off before leaving with my stuff. I don't know if I should have been as angry with her as I was, I kind of feel guilty that I approached the situation in that way, especially in front of her kids.
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AITA for making my 5yo get out of his carseat himself
|
http://imgur.com/YmLjbtR
Everytime I try to teach my 5yo to knuckle himself he quits after just a couple seconds and says "I can't". So today when I told him to try and wouldn't I took the car seat out and brought it inside with him in it. I told him he will stay in it till he gets out himself. (Even though I will probably let him out after too long) He got the chest buckle without issue. He has been sitting for 10 mins whining and saying he can't undo the base buckle. I feel like I might be an asshole for how I am choosing to do this but shouldn't he know by now? I have watched late 3yos and 4yos get in and out of their seats without issue. At least I took him out of the car. I know my father would have left me in the car to figure it out. He opens the car door from the outside and inside without issue. He has basically destroyed a controller button mashing. He can control the backhoe attachments better than most adults I have seen. Am I the asshole for expecting this of him? Or for how I am going about it?
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HISTORICAL
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"description": "throwing away her insane amount of grocery bags",
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|
AITA for throwing away her insane amount of grocery bags?
|
My girlfriend keeps saving grocery bags. A ridiculous amount. She will take one and then fill it up with others until it is literally overflowing. She had two of these grocery bags over flowing with grocery bags hanging up by the handle of our kitchen cupboards. There were a lot a bunch in an unused kitchen drawer. The only thing we ever use them for is to line the small garbage can in the bathroom. So we need maybe one a week, not the probably hundred that there was. I asked her once why she saves them and she just shrugged and said why not?
When I took the garbage out today I took both of the over flowing bags out with it. I left the ones in the drawer. I’m not sure how’s she going to react, or if she will react at all. I honestly can’t tell if she’s insane or it’s just easier for her so save them instead of throwing them away for some reason.
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{
"description": "wanting a profit from doing favors for my cousin",
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|
AITA for wanting a profit from doing favors for my cousin?
|
I have a cousin who I don't have the best relationship with. On and off arguing throughout our whole lives growing up with each other, but we still hang out despite my annoyance of her. She tends to ask me a lot of favors, like editing her college essays, doing things online for her, homework help, etc.
​
A month ago, she asked me to buy $300 tickets for a concert for her and my sister (and they would pay me back). They were both unable to buy these tickets because they had school at the time they'd be sold, and for this concert, it was very difficult to get tickets. They'd sell out within minutes. I'd have to wake up 3 hours early, get into queue to buy the tickets on multiple electronic devices, and fight with thousands of other girls for these tickets. I was willing to do it, but I felt like I deserved something for doing this favor, like a bit of money. With ticket scalpers who resell tickets for much higher prices, I thought it'd be reasonable if I asked my cousin and my sister to pay me $20 each for buying these tickets for them. Maybe that is too much to ask, but I'm a broke college student. In the end, they declined my offer and skipped school to buy the tickets themselves.
​
A week later, my cousin realized she and my sister did not have a ride to this concert. She asked me if I could drive her and my sister to this concert that took place about 150 miles away from us. Thinking about the price of an uber, the cost of gas, and the \~3hrs out of my day, I thought it would be reasonable if I asked for some money in exchange. I can't remember how much money I asked from them, but it was cheaper than the price of an uber. Maybe $30 or $40 from each of them? She thought this was outrageous and declined the offer.
​
Yesterday, my cousin accused me of exploiting my family members for a profit. She claimed that if she were in my shoes, she wouldn't be asking for money or any kind of profit for doing these favors. She claimed that I was extremely selfish and assumed that I act this way with my friends, never doing favors out of kindness. The thing is, I've been doing these small favors for my cousins for years. I never really liked her, rarely asked for favors, and never texted her first, but every time she texted me to drive her somewhere around locally, help her with homework, or edit her college essays for hours into multiple nights, I would do it out of kindness. I also found it quite rude that she'd assume I act the same way around my friends... I treat my friends out for lunch the same way they treat me out and do favors for my friends as well. I just felt like these particular favors my cousin asked me to do were more time-consuming, mind-consuming, and money-consuming. But I admit that I legitimately did want to make some profit from doing these favors, but I tried not to ask for an outrageous amount and considered that she is my cousin. AITA for expecting to profit from these favors?
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HISTORICAL
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{
"description": "disowning my older brother after he stole $2,000 from me",
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|
AITA for disowning my older brother after he stole $2,000 from me?
|
2 years ago, my brother decided he didn’t want his car anymore but was still making payments on it. We decided that I was going to take the car, and make him payments in cash and he would continue making the payments like normal with the car still in his name as I had shit credit. After half a year of making payments, the car was repossessed, and I found out afterwards that he had pocketed my last 5 payments, adding up to $2,000. He paid to get it out of repo, but I didn’t pick up the car because I couldn’t afford to have it put in my name and clearly I didn’t want to continue our prior arrangement.
It’s been 2 years and I still haven’t spoken to him, but everyone in my family continues to tell me to let it go, he tried to fix it, he’s still my brother, yadda yadda. AITA here?
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{
"description": "breaking up with my depressed girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for breaking up with my depressed girlfriend?
|
I have been fighting depression since I was 12, and I want to make it clear that I never let my depression affect others, I've never been mean to someone who do not deserve, I never depressed anyone with a bad attitude.
So at 15 I got my first girlfriend(who i loved), she was a very good person, never mean, always trying to make me smile, her family was like my second family, i loved then. But after 3 years of relationship got really bad. She started to end up all her friendships for no reason, and started to spend more time in my house than in her own house. Started to be mean to my friends, and complain about the amount of time i spend with then( only saw them in the weekends for like 4 hours) and of course they started to get away from me.
The relationship started to get very toxic, she started being mean to me, she cried almost every day at my house, and when I suggested she should go to psychiatry( because she clearly wasn't ok), and she got really offended, saying (on her words) that i was the only one who needed to go at a that place of immature little kids, so thats was it for me, i break up with her and the backlash was real.
Her family block me at every social media possible, her mom contacted my parents complaining about the ungrateful and evil person i was, that those three years when her daughter was so good to me even me been a depressed prick.
*One year later her mom call to say that her daughter was finally going to a psychologist, and she was depressed, but, of course she was not only calling me to say that, she had to say tha i was the reason for that.*
That call was 3 months ago, im still depressed, still love my ex, and wishing that our first years, when she was a happy and lovely person, comeback, when i was the only one who was depressed.
|
HISTORICAL
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PrSHt6rZ6ziGnv7uetIKDlfy8HSoQo8l
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aplzt2
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{
"description": "not marrying my friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA If I don't marry my friend?
|
We are all in our early 20s if that information is helpful. I am sorry it’s so long, I tried to edit down. Backstory first:
I have two friends that live together, one of whom needs a green card to continue living here; my understanding with the situation is that her work visa runs out in March, and to avoid immediate deportation she either needs to be in a new job that will sponsor her (would take too long/be difficult for her field of work/not a permanent solution) or be married and starting the paperwork process of getting a green card. The process of actually applying for citizenship is apparently a long, very expensive process with a low success rate, so that’s out of the question for her. I’m not gonna argue with people in the comments as I honestly do not have more knowledge on the subject.
Her roommate, we’ll call her D, agreed to marry her, probably back in April 2018. They already live together, D is a very socially-dependent person and very attached to her, my friend seems to be the only one who can balance out D’s personality, and they’re both low-key gay for each other though they won’t admit it. It’s perfect.
Except D has abandonment issues that present in the form of commitment anxiety, and she’s also afraid her parents will absolutely lose it if she marries her friend. She doesn’t want to be disowned. So she still hasn’t told them she’s marrying this friend. She tried bringing it up to her parents once, that this friend either needed to marry her or me, and her mother said something like “well I guess she’s marrying \[TheAllMightiest\], then.”
So D keeps not telling her parents. And she’s been not telling her parents for months and months, and time’s running out. It’s making my friend and I nervous, especially my friend. In September, worried that D would back out and this friend would get deported, I told her I would marry her if D backed out. I genuinely don’t want her to get deported, platonic marriage is a huge life goal for me, and I don’t have to worry about my family’s opinion. And at that point, I had no other major life plans in the works. I was content with the idea of platonic-marrying her.
Fast-forward to now. My friend only has about a month left before she needs to be hitched to someone. D still hasn’t told her parents, throws a fit about how she “can’t deal with this stress right now” every time my friend and I try to get her to either tell her parents or just back the hell out fully. I’m worried she will continue procrastinating until the last minute, have a breakdown over it, and then back out entirely.
Meanwhile, in the last several months, I’ve really hit it off with someone. We were already friends, but we’ve been talking more and more, discovering we have the same life goals, and we really enjoy each other’s company. What started off as joking about platonic marriage has turned into actual, genuine “we could do this???? oh my god????” I am in love with the idea of platonic marrying this person, getting a house with them, fostering children with them. They are reciprocal in their excitement. They keep bringing it up. It's obviously not a done deal as marriage is a huge commitment, but I want the opportunity to have that life with them.
But now I might be expected to green-card marry my friend.
If D backs out, AITA for going back on my word and not green-card marrying my friend? I'm asking the internet because I already feel like a huge A-hole just thinking about telling her and I want other's opinions.
|
HISTORICAL
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RIGHT
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cE5Ysm2FQzq5GiYDBVuCZeBaxkPmjA9x
|
b4n2tz
|
{
"description": "blocking my fiancee because of her lies",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 19
}
|
AITA if I blocked my fiancee because of her lies?
|
So I've been dating my girlfriend for 10 years, have been engaged for 5. We have a 6 year old son together also. Recently for the past year and a half, shes been in and out the hospital for health issues. Most recently liver failure and due to the liver failure the doctors told me she might not make it. I asked what had caused the liver failure and they told me it's because of how much alcohol shes been consuming. Now throughout the time we've been together I rarely if ever see her drink. So I confronted her about it in the hospital and she got angry at me for even mentioning it. She said yes she had been drinking but it was none of my business. I told her why I was upset because she might die because shes secretly been an alcoholic for who knows how long and she didnt care about our son or me to give it up. After our argument I tried to apologize for the things I said but she was still angry at me, so I blocked her on my phone. So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
Qu3JDwYpGftEH887oHaM94FuPpY1yyF4
|
ahtxfl
|
{
"description": "keeping nagging my S/o to do chores while I'm at work",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA I keep nagging my S/O to do chores while I'm at work.
|
So my S/O and I live together, currently I am the only one working. I work a normal part time (getting full time soon in a few weeks) job in specialty retail, so we are frequently short on cash after rent and bills. I work about 30 hours a week. I don't drive and my S/O does takes me to work on time, every day, about 30 minutes one way.
I basically refuse to do any house work while I'm home or off, except for a few basic things like emptying the dish washer, vacuuming, taking out the kitty litter trash and cooking most nights. Everything else I just don't feel the need to do, since I'm gone about 6-9 hours a day. I do ask my S/O to do the chores since they don't have a job and are currently not looking for one. They are trying to get disability for mental health reasons, but basically sit at home and play video games or go hang with friends all day. I come home to a really messy house with dirty dishes basically every day. I then clean the pots I need to use for dinner and cook for the both of us. I understand why its difficult for them to get started, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with and some effort would be great to see.
My S/O also has a habit of taking naps while I'm at work after staying up all night. I find this frustrating because I can't just take naps any time I want while I'm at work and feel tired all the time. I know this is a common symptom of mental illness and one I struggle with as well with my anxiety, but it also doesn't seem fair to me that I don't get to nap all day and come home exhausted mentally and physically all the time.
I bring this up to them frequently and it always devolves into argument where I do get pretty extreme. Saying things like the time I'm at work they should be cleaning and not taking naps/playing video games ect. But honestly if they managed to clean and then decided to play video games after I wouldn't really care that much I guess. I also can go over board saying stuff like don't eat really good food without me. Like if someone is buying them food to save me some cause its not fair, since I'm not usually able to buy food like that on our restricted budget.
Their side of the argument usually revolves around how they have trouble being motivated due to mental illness and that if they weren't around I would have to go to work and do all the chores myself and expecting them to do it by themselves is basically just demanding a live in maid.
So AITA?
TL;DR: I work, my S/O doesn't. I request they do the chores while I'm at work and this causes intense arguements in an otherwise happy relationship
*I also purposefully left identifying genders out of this so it didn't skew the answers.*
|
HISTORICAL
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|
9uj2uq
|
{
"description": "ignoring the girl who rejected me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 10
}
|
AITA for ignoring the girl who rejected me?
|
I'm in college and was studying frequently with her. We connected well and I asked her to get dinner with me. She jokingly said I'll have to wait many months before that's possible. It was clearly a no but I was hurt that she conveyed it that way.
I later found out from her friend that she's Catholic and doesn't wanna date anyone till later. That made sense but I was still hurt shed turn me down like that.
Further today I see her in the corridor, and go back to texting on my phone. Didn't greet or anything. Later found out from her friend that she called me an asshole for blatantly ignoring her and not greeting her despite seeing her.
I feel naive, but think I did the right thing. I disliked her for what she did and I wanted her to feel hurt. What do you think?
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
WBQvL8a5ErizOghYPUZXNEezbHcv3wbh
|
areinr
|
{
"description": "not going to my friend's birthday party",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For not going to my friend's birthday party?
|
I haven't seen him in a long time because he lives far away. He made plans to go to the club near where I live and really wanted me to go. I cancelled the plans though because I hate clubs and they give me anxiety. I also generally never have a good time there and end up spending a lot of money on overpriced drink. Each drink goes for like $12, which is like the price of a meal.
|
HISTORICAL
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NOBODY
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qSZWejFSW7JiDJu4I8aXGIin9qZ1Cbjg
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ajc96e
| null |
AITA (ex told me to screw off, not sure what I've done)
|
Hey guys ummm.... I've encountered a bit of a problem.
I talked to my ex a night ago and for some reason, she just flipped out on me. Now I'm not sure what I've done, but she says that what I've told her is "low."
From what I believe, I didn't clarify that when the girls were hitting on me, we weren't together anymore. However, it may be the case that she does think that.
(I'm .\_. and my ex is Sally)
21:54 .\_. ah interesting
21:54 .\_. lol six girls began hitting on me there
21:54 Sally rip
21:54 .\_. or called me cute lmao
21:54 Sally nice.
21:54 .\_. one of them slapped my ass xD
21:54 Sally ew
21:54 Sally creep
21:54 .\_. hey i'm not complaining lol
21:54 Sally i mean
21:54 Sally eh
21:55 Sally whatever floats your boat
21:55 .\_. although they were all like 2-7 years older than me
21:55 Sally well then it makes sense..
21:55 .\_. hmm i guess
21:55 Sally thots
21:57 .\_. oof
21:57 .\_. they're quite nice people tho
21:57 .\_. i mean they can have my ass
21:57 Sally well you know they are when they're teasing someone quite abit younger than them
21:57 Sally as a group
21:57 Sally lmao
21:57 .\_. true
21:58 Sally When people older than you do that
21:58 .\_. oh heh
21:58 Sally If its in a group they're either thots or fuckboys
21:58 .\_. they did it individually
21:58 .\_. but like at the same time?
21:58 .\_. idk
21:59 Sally When its one person they either think of you as a cute lil kid or they have feelings for you lmao
21:59 .\_. oof true
22:00 .\_. oh well
22:00 Sally when we were just friends my bf called me cute because he finds the way i act cute and he didnt even meant anything lamao
22:00 Sally oh shiet
22:00 .\_. if they wanted to just have a laugh or fuck, i don't really midn
22:00 .\_. \*mind
22:00 Sally l a m a o
22:00 Sally uhh
22:00 Sally good for u?
22:00 .\_. heh i guess
22:01 Sally now that i think about it i know why we dont work out
22:01 .\_. hm?
22:02 Sally idk
22:02 Sally our values (?) are quite diffrent
22:02 Sally different\*
22:02 Sally fml
22:02 .\_. true not gonna lie
22:02 Sally heck idk if its cuz i'm a girl or what but if a group of people did that to me they'd be dead by now
22:03 .\_. hmmm to be fair the only reason why i really went along with it was because that was my first time
22:03 .\_. but yeah
22:03 Sally oh
22:03 Sally shit
22:03 Sally uh
22:03 .\_. and they think the way i speak thai sounds cute
22:03 .\_. lmao
22:03 Sally ok?
22:03 .\_. but yeah
22:03 .\_. kinda wrong i guess
22:03 Sally nice one dud
22:03 Sally e
22:04 .\_. but yeah values
22:04 Sally lmao fuck off man
22:04 Sally honestly
22:05 .\_. huh?
22:05 Sally r/niceguys much
22:05 .\_. what...
22:05 Sally " the only reason why i really went along with it was because that was my first time"
22:05 Sally l m a o
22:06 .\_. ummm
22:06 .\_. are you actually mad at me about this?
22:06 .\_. like seriously?
22:06 Sally no???
22:07 Sally why should i be
22:07 .\_. cause i'm mindfucked right now
22:07 Sally but to be fair i never knew about that lmao
22:07 .\_. so i can't tell whether that fuck off was serious or not
22:07 Sally whichever you'd take it as
22:07 Sally if you even meant what you said
22:07 Sally that was low
22:07 Sally like
22:08 Sally LOW
22:08 .\_. okay i'm confused
22:08 .\_. how is it low
22:08 .\_. no like i legit don't undertstand
22:08 .\_. even if i wasn't mindfucked
22:08 Sally nvm
22:10 Sally trust me, any girl would find that a dickish thing to say to their ex
​
In the case that she does believe that I was hit on during our relationship, I would like to also note that she was the one cheating. Basically, I was the second boyfriend, and I'm quite pissed about that, but I've managed to let it go to a good extent.
In the context of flirting, this was during MUN. This was a university level MUN, and I was the only 16-year-old there. Everyone else was around 18 and above (some miracle they accepted my application). Everything that they did was something I didn't disagree with, and it was more like the hype during the moment (nothing out of control).
​
TLDR - Cheating ex thinks I allowed other girls to flirt with me, not sure if that's the case or not.
​
Also please tell me whether I'm wrong or not. And if I am, maybe a suggestion on how to apologize and make it up to her would be nice.
​
Thanks.
|
HISTORICAL
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WRONG
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fusdYJ87YGu7OBl7suD6KPnZYfL4mlSY
|
b7dpgd
|
{
"description": "not wanting to put my young kid on psychotropic drugs",
"pronormative_score": 64,
"contranormative_score": 59
}
|
AITA for not wanting to put my young kid on psychotropic drugs?
|
Hello reddit. I’m looking for an impartial view because I want to do what’s best for my son.
My 8-year old son is my youngest of 3, and he has always been a bit of a trouble maker in school, especially when he was younger. He is the “class clown” and often disrupts class. I’ve gotten called by his school for his disruptions more times than I would have liked, and because of this, I’ve been taking him to a cognitive behavioral therapist. He is making progress, albeit slowly, but he IS getting better.
The issue is that a couple of weeks ago, he had his “biggest” disruption of all. His school uses those recorder things, and his music teacher was trying to teach the kids how to play it. He purposely played his own “song,” even when the teacher said no.
The teacher never dealt with my son before and was justifiably frustrated by his behavior. The principal wasn’t in school, so sent him to the school psychologist because she believed my son must have ADHD. The school psychologist called me, and said despite the fact his grades are fine, he likely does have ADHD and medication is the best route.
I thanked her for her time, and my husband suggested we get a second opinion. We took him to the closest psychiatrist in our area, and he prescribed him ritalin on the spot.
This was 5 days ago, and my husband asked how the medication was going. I admitted to him that I have not picked it up yet. We had a little spat (my husband is very pro-medication whereas I'm of the position where they should be used when 100% necessary. I'm not anti-vax or anything, I just don't like the idea of pumping everyone with drugs for every little thing).
I workin the healthcare field, and I genuinely don’t believe my son has ADHD. I see how quickly psychiatrists write scripts just to shut worried parents up, and ADHD is grossly over diagnosed.
My son does annoying things, yes, but he's a kid, and his behavior IS improving without medication. Compared to my other kids, my son is only slightly more hyperactive and has what I think is the standard attention span of a 8-year old. His grades are slightly above average (not perfect). I think behavioral therapy can fix his disruptive nature over time. I don’t want him growing up reliant on pills. Just because he can be a troublemaker sometimes doesn’t mean we can just pump him with drugs so he shuts up- I rather address the problems at their core, so that he never has to rely on a drug to function.
So reddit, AITA?
TL;DR: My son may or may not have ADHD. His behavior is gradually improving with therapy. I don’t want to put him on meds. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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B2YWqthDvNJq6OYBkmumtH9R70ukIouZ
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b5etef
| null |
AITA my gf broke up with me
|
Sry,if I make mistakes.I’m on mobile and English isn’t my first language.
So I always try to be nice and I hate it when people are sad, so I always try to make them happy.I’m 13 and really tall almost 185 and that’s why most girls in my class like me.
On my first day of school I met this really nice girl. She was very pretty and she loved making music (this will be important later) After almost three years she told,that she liked me too and I asked her out,after that we got together. After a week this conversation happened:
(My ex-gf is gonna be called B,for B**ch)
B:Hey,I’m breaking up with you.
Me:Why?
B:I met a better guy
(The “better” guy is 22 and she is 13)
Me:Who is it?
B:~tells his name~
Me: Ok :(
B:Aren’t you going to punch hin or anything?
Me:No
(I can handle break-ups really good and the guy was a really good friend of mine)
B:Ok ~goes away~
After a week, she came back to me
B:[crying an sobbing]He said no
Me:~confused~ Who?
B:The “better” guy
Me:I’m sorry
B:You wanna get back together?
Me:~me not wanting to hurt her more and because I still liked her~ Ok
B:Ok ~kissed me~
A month after that her best friend sends me pictures of her kissing another guy
I was shocked and sad at the same time
The day after that she breaks up with me again
Me:Why?
B:My mother didn’t allow me to be in a relationship with you
Me: Oh,ok
Her mother was very nice to me and liked me,so I didn’t believe her.
Her mother is also really strict,so I had an idea
At school my class plays a game called truth or dare,so I told my best friend to give her a dare-task.The task was that she had to kiss the guy who had the worst grades in the school. I did a picture of her kissing him. A week after I found her kissing on of my friends,so I made another picture of that.
I told you that, I’m always trying to be nice but I couldn’t be nice to her anymore.
I met her mother once in the city and showed her the pictures
(Nm stands for nice mum)
Nm: Thank you sweetheart. I’m gonna take care of this.
We than said goodbye to each other and went our separate ways.
The next day i didn’t see B anywhere,so I asked her best friend where she was.
(F is for best friend)
F:You didn’t hear, she had to switch schools.
(We were on one of the best schools in the city)
Me: Really why?
F:Idk something with her mother.
Me:Oh and to which school.
F: To {school name}
I was shocked because that’s the school,where people with peanuts for brains go.
Me:Oh okay
After that I heard,that she was never allowed to sind or plat an instrument ever again.
And Nobody liked her at the new school,that ment she had 0 friends.
So that’s my story.
I put it on this subreddit to know,if I did a bad thing or a good thing.
|
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WRONG
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tsLKJaFyJJo1j5cuuEd1opXlAEftvzyD
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aupgpo
|
{
"description": "being pissed at my friend for being on his phone during my class speech",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 5
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|
AITA for being pissed at my friend for being on his phone during my class speech?
|
So I’m in a communications class in college, and one of my friends is in it. We have to give speeches every month and stuff.
I had to do a speech today, so I did it in front of the class, and I noticed my friend was not paying attention to the speech at all; and was on his phone the entire time.
When I finished the speech i sat down and he said “great speech man” and I was a little aggravated and replied “yeah? Did you even pay attention dude? Have some respect.” He didn’t say anything back.
AITA? Was that rude?
|
HISTORICAL
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igMdBTEi25Xu36QCTduvoXdYVxvyDzhy
|
b9n21k
|
{
"description": "not wanting my sister and her boyfriend to leave cigarettes and joints around my one and a half year old nephew in my parent's house",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting my sister and her boyfriend to leave cigarettes and joints around my one and a half year old nephew in my parent's house?
|
Sorry, I know the title is a mouth full.
​
So this just happened minutes ago, I live in a house with 8 people, including a one and a half year old boy who shoves literally everything in his mouth, ex: house phones, spoons, remotes, etc. Just anything that fits in his mouth. My sister lets him roam unsupervised a lot and makes other people watch him or she just leaves him alone for 10 minutes at a time so she can go smoke weed or cigarettes. She had a child outside of marriage and was pregnant while she used heroin, but quit when the baby boy was born so she could live with us and we could help care for the baby boy. Her boyfriend lives with us too under the condition that they both work. She and her boyfriend have smoked for the entire time the baby boy was growing in our house and I have no idea when they started smoking marijuana. We don't know how to handle them smoking pot since it's legal now so we decided to let it go and warned them it's a gateway drug.
​
Although I'm completely against the use of drugs/tobacco and I know she can choose how to spend her life doing whatever she wants, I just don't want that around her son who isn't capable of leaving the room is she smokes in it and doesn't know better than to not touch the cigarettes. I constantly find rolled joints and cigarettes, both used and unused, on the ground, on her bed (when she asks me to watch him) and on low tables. I tell my parents since they are the owners of the house and they told me not to start conflicts with her, but today I found a whole cigarette on the floor of the room her son plays in and my dad (a total hard ass) saw me pick it up and I brought it to my sister's bf to tell him I found it and it was dangerous. My dad then walked over and started telling him how he's repeatedly said no tobacco in the house and the bf just says it fell off from behind his ear (He perches his cigarettes there like you would a pencil). things go bad and there's arguing. then my sister comes down with her toddler and my dad reminds her about the no tobacco rule. She asks why I'm there and my dad says I'm the one who found the cigarette and I tell her that her son could choke on it or poison himself and she starts yelling we are all ganging up on her. I make her son a bottle of milk because he looks thirsty and I thought that's what she came down here to anyways, so i give it to her and tell her I'm not mad at her and she shoves me away.
​
I decide to let her cool off so I go upstairs and go to my room and lock the door, it's a habit. 5 minutes later, she's pounding at my door telling me it's my fault all this happened (my dad told her I showed him the cigarette) and that if her son doesn't have a father and leaves her because our dad yelled at her bf on his first day back from a trip, it's all my fault. Am I the Asshole? I don't know what to do
|
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RIGHT
|
nwbiLDvw6QBfVfQyehJnUhAXOj2Pp4hg
|
9x22w7
|
{
"description": "going to my landlord about an elderly neighbor",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for going to my landlord about an elderly neighbor?
|
I love my apartment and have not had any issues with neighbors or the landlord since moving in.
An elderly gentleman lives below me in a 2 story complex. We both have neighbors to one side, than a stairwell and more neighbors on the other side. Monday evening I came home from work around 6:20. I checked my mail outside and smelt something funny, but didn't think too much of it since our mailboxes are outside. I went upstairs, opened up my door, and a terrible smell hit me in the face. I thought it was burnt BBQ. It was definitely burnt something. So I check out my place, feel on the electrical outlets to make sure they aren't hot, visually inspect my heater, oven, and water heater. Everything is fine. The smell is strong enough I turn off my heat and open all the windows. I go to my neighbors and ask them if maybe they're BBQing or something. He says no, then asks if my place stinks too. I say yeah. We go into his apartment and it does stink, but not terribly. We go to mine and he says it's a lot stronger smelling in mine. We chat for a bit. He tells me the older man has a history of accidentally catching things on fire! I've seen the fire trucks out once before but I didn't know where they were going. My neighbor laughs it off, saying the old man is just forgetful, falls asleep, etc.
This guy is right under me! I have a cat and I'm almost never at home during the day. My whole place could go up and I wouldn't even know it until hours later.
So on Tuesday, I talked to my landlord who seemed surprised. I guess no one has ever told them about the frequent but small fires this man creates while trying to cook. They sent maintenance to "check on some things" and took it very seriously.
But I can't help but feel like an asshole. He's an old man and I don't want to be the person that gets him sent to a nursing home. No one ever visits him and his next door neighbor basically helps take care of him. I don't want to mess up this man's life, but I don't want my complex to catch on fire either, especially since my place would be the second to go up in flames.
AITA or am I feeling guilty for no reason?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
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|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
EIbRh3g53nEePmejJifDdbfqfb291CFA
|
at92kh
|
{
"description": "feeling uncomfortable being the third wheel",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for feeling uncomfortable being the third wheel
|
My best friend (Sarah) got a boyfriend (Tyler) about 10 months ago. For the first 6 months, we barely talked and we didn't see each other for a while as she lives with him (they were roommates) and was distracted. They are fun to be with individually.
We've started to hang out again recently, but I'm finding myself uncomfortable more than anything else. This is because Tyler is almost always present. It is worse when just us 3. I appreciate her efforts for me and her boyfriend to be friends, but it just feels awkward. I feel like if they broke up, I'd never talk to him again lol. Sarah said this to me:
* "Man, I don't understand why you have to think of it as third wheeling. Whenever Tyler hangs out with his best friend he always has his gf there but he just considers it hanging out. And he's been dating her since college so he's been 'third wheel' without being in a relationship many times but it never bothers him, I don't understand why it can't just be us hanging out" *
I gave Sarah examples of times I felt uncomfortable - when I ask her to hang out or get dinner, she invites Tyler along then spends (what I feel) most of the time talking to Tyler instead of me. It's usually your average day-to-day couple talk like "lets plan to go on a date this weekend" (plans not including me) or "remember that episode we watched the other night?"
We hung out with 7 people. I was the only single one there. We played Jackbox and everyone was paired up working together except for me. Then we watched a movie and everyone was cuddling up while I sat to the side. Sarah says she understands why I felt uncomfortable *that* time, but not when it's me+her+bf.
We had plans to go to a one-night-only showing of a movie for a couple months, but she flaked on me the night-of to stay at home with her boyfriend, because she wanted to bring Tyler and I told her I didn't want to go with Tyler.
Anything personal I've told her in the past, Tyler now knows about me.. That also makes me uncomfortable.
Sarah says it is hard to want to hang out with me when she feels like she has to exclude her boyfriend, so I get left out instead. Sarah and Tyler agree that it feels hard to be a normal couple when I am around. I understand that things are never going to go back to how they used to be, but currently we've grabbed dinner 1-on-1 once a month to catch up and then we go home. I want to do other things like go to the beach or movies, to create more lasting memories with her than just "catching up" over dinner. Am I the asshole for not pushing my feelings aside to cause less tension between us?
**tl;dr** Best friend got a boyfriend. I don't like hanging out with her + boyfriend and we do not see eye-to-eye. They feel like they can't be a couple around me, so they leave me out of a lot of activities instead. This hurts my feelings because I want to be doing those activities, too.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
255GfBUnHiKSrf9FyvWaobMfCfg8iWnu
|
a60obf
|
{
"description": "dropping my long time best friend for becoming addicted to drugs",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for dropping my long time best friend for becoming addicted to drugs
|
This happened a few years ago now. This is sort of complicated, so it's a long one, sorry.
​
I had a long time best friend, who I met in second grade. We happened to change schools together the next year, and even after she moved away a few grades later we always kept in touch and tried to hangout semi regularly (as much as kids who live a few towns away can do).
She was always smart and funny, and when we hadn't seen each other in a while it was easy to catch up.
Anyway, fast forward to senior year of high school, she's 18 and she got in a big fight with her mom (they always had a weirdly rocky relationship) so she went to stay with her mostly online boyfriend who lived in the next state over. She just kind of stayed there, and didn't go home.
Now this guy was only a few years older than her, but he had kind of a hard knock life, and had done all sorts of drugs and things like that. I met him and although he was nice, I obviously didn't love the negative influence of that stuff and how she hadn't finished high school. But she had been seriously struggling with depression for years, and talking to her I could tell she was much happier there with him, so I didn't want to spoil that. And she said she was going to get her GED, do online school...
Soon they move out of where they were to a trailer, because they didn't have much money. However, there were a few times where she asked if she could "borrow" some money. I don't remember if it was really under the premise of paying me back, but I knew it was really just to give. Each time was said to help with groceries or bills or something, and was always less than $100 for sure but I also didn't have that much money myself at this time.
So comes the first time I'm gonna see her in a while, and visit her in the trailer and stay the night. She looks a bit different , and at some point in the night she's straight with me and tells me she's been doing heroin (snorting, specifically). "Just to party" and "just to have crazy sex" and "I don't even need that much" and that she doesn't need it to function (unlike the guy she's with). I of course tell her I don't like it and don't approve, but I can't control her life....
The next day she asks for some money for gas and groceries (they picked me up and dropped me back off, it was about a 45 min trip one way) , and they did drive me so fine.
After all of this, the next few days I think about it more and get angrier and angrier about the situation. I felt like she was throwing her life away, and asking me for money indicates that they are financially struggling and yet they're spending the money on these drugs... I didn't even know what to say, and I didn't want to talk to her for a while, so I blocked her while I thought about what I wanted to do about the situation.
"a while" turned into months, and I just didn't know what to say to her, and at that point it was clear that she had tried to get in contact with me but I wasn't reciprocating, so I knew when I talked to her I would have to explain that... And I just kind of never did. It got worse me thinking of having to explain why I didn't talk to her, and time went on and now its been years.
I still feel guilty about it, because if I was going to stop contact from the beginning I should have told her so and the reasons why. But even that, I could/should have tried to intervene, but I just felt lost to even how to do that... She was deep in with the boyfriend(/fiance?) and I was in no position to offer her a place to stay if she would leave him/the life behind.
So, \*\*am I the asshole for basically ghosting this longtime friend because of me being mad at her for using drugs, among other things?\*\*
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
GSd45PsayELyKgcGRDQjzHYPi3xJMDe1
|
b4raaw
|
{
"description": "not wanting to pay for my tuxedo rental at my friend's wedding",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to pay for my tuxedo rental at my friend's wedding?
|
My friend is getting married this summer and I am one of his groomsmen. I went to get fitted for the tuxedo that he gave me the order number for today, and discovered that the whole thing is about $200.
I called him asking if this was cost was covered, and he told me it was on the groomsmen to pay for the rentals. I told him I was going to have a hard time affording it and he reluctantly said to let him know how much I can afford and they'll see what they can do about the rest.
Keep in mind I'm an 18 year old college student working minimum wage and trying to stay out of student debt as much as possible. He's getting married at 19. Maybe it's common practice to have groomsman cover their clothing costs, but at our age that seems like a lot to expect of me.
I don't know how to go about this situation, I feel really bad saying I can't afford it and expecting them to but I really cannot spend that kind of money right now. Am I the asshole for not agreeing to pay for that? What should I do?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
03omq45t4RWNIaHcJjPhhxihqRWee0wX
|
a3os2j
|
{
"description": "trying to understand a guy I know's feelings and being hurt when he tries to shut me down",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for trying to understand a guy I know’s feelings and being hurt when he tries to shut me down ?
|
The background is, we dated one year ago, but he ended up breaking up with me because I was clingy.
After a bunch of happy and less happy times, we managed to become somewhat regular FwB. Except this last month is a situation I’ve seen repeating itself too many times, and I don’t know what I can make out of it :
Some months ago, I would ask regularly to see him, to which he would reply he didn’t have the time. I would tell him I understand that, but I missed him anyway. Like I understand he was busy, I just wanted to let him know that I’d have liked to spend time with him. I wouldn’t pester him with my demands, but I would regularly renew them in a casual way, and just retreating myself when he said no
Fats forward a month ago, when I asked him one more time, he just replied that it was up to me if I wanted to see him. I somewhat sensed it was forced, but I really don’t trust my guts, so I wanted to make sure if he was really okay with it by asking him. Twice. Both times he said he was sure he wanted it, so I went.
When I arrived, he seemed more detached than usual. I tried to cuddle, but he wouldn’t move or even acknowledge me. Me feeling he literally didn’t care about my presence, I began to cry, telling him that he didn’t want me there he could simply tell me to go. Instead of that he cuddled back (?) and we ended up having sex. I went back home a bit after that
Some days after this meeting, he confessed by text message he was not comfortable anymore seeing me because he felt pressured inviting me and having sex with me. I didn’t understand, I had asked him all the time if he was sure about his decisions, and he always told me he was. I got angry, telling him he didn’t have the right to hold me responsible for his decisions and feelings, and demanded an apology I never got. I ended up understanding there may have been some unconscious pressure on his end, and apologized while respecting his wish to not see me
I’d like to point out that this situation arose many times before, and would always end up with him coming back and being kind and gentle with me. I would always think he would understand that he could not blame me for his decisions, but it sounds like he never learns.
This weekend I ended up texting him that I could not stand hanging on him like this, and that I’d rather cut ties than seeing the same situation happening all over again and hurting. He said whatever, but I wasn’t sure of my decision so he asked me what I expected of him. I simply told that I’d have liked us to be friends, that I was willing to settle for a sexless relationship, whatever it may be
He replied “Well I know you struggle with some social interactions, but I sometimes wonder if you live in the same reality...”... Now I understand I have some troubles figuring people out (and we already talked this out), but it sounded really condescending, and I’m not really sure about the innuendo he made in that sentence
I just replied that I couldn’t understand what he wanted if he wasn’t upfront or wasn’t willing to open himself up to me, and he just replied that I was annoying. And he stopped replying altogether. It’s been a few days now
I just texted back telling I wasn’t okay with the way he was treating me, and that he didn’t have the right to be that condescending just because I was trying to work the situation out.
As I wrote above, it had already happened. Him telling me that I was just a child because I asked too many questions, that I never understood anything. He has the right to be frustrated because there are seemingly obvious things I don’t seem to understand, but it hurts a lot to be talked down like that, and I never got any apology...
WITA in this story ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
v6dMsv8Zk8N1RsCxAl4P7dkJMLDVKASB
|
as29s9
|
{
"description": "asking my girlfriend to make all the plans for my birthday",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my girlfriend to make all the plans for my birthday?
|
A little context here. I plan every date we ever go on. She has told me before that she's happy with that dynamic between us and I'm generally happy with it because it gives me chances to be creative with my romantic endeavors. My birthday is on 2 weeks and originally I wasn't going to celebrate whatsoever, celebrating my birthday isn't something I enjoy. But she said she'd feel bad if she didn't do anything to try to make the day special, so the bare minimum was for us to spend the day together, we both took off work that day to be together. We agreed beforehand that I didn't want her to get me a gift because at the moment she's not working, and I'd much rather her be responsible with her savings then spend it on me. That being said, whatever we end up doing for my birthday, I'm paying for out of pocket. So I told her that instead of a gift, I'd like her to be the one to make the plans for what we do, where we eat, etc. Considering I've done all of that for literally every other date we've ever been on. But now she's making a big deal about it, because she doesn't want to do all of that. I figure that with all the circumstances being the way they are, that me asking her to do that isn't asking too much of her, but she seems to disagree. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
ciJ0hGA0VhxEmotbE7bxst83ftRt1zIr
|
a929it
|
{
"description": "not calling my father for Christmas",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA If I don't call my father for Christmas?
|
I haven’t talked to my father in almost 2 years, and wasn’t planning on talking to him ever since I was pregnant with my first born.
I lost my mother to cancer when I was 4 years old, and so then had to live with my father and my stepmom. Growing up my father had a really horrible temper and was extremely controlling. I remember coming down the stairs after waking up in the morning when I was only 5 or 6 and him asking me if I snuck into their bedroom in the morning and woke up my stepmom, and I had no idea what he was talking about so I just answered “No” and that was returned with a punch so hard to my stomach I was knocked over and couldn’t breath for seconds afterward. That was when I learned my father was unpredictable.
Living with him was like living with a walking bomb. Sometimes you could say snide remarks, and sometimes it wouldn’t end well. I don’t remember what I said to him, some mean teenage remark, but all I do remember is him on top of me punching me non stop while I screamed for someone to help me.
His house often felt like a prison to me. It was a rarity when I was allowed to leave the house (he was “protecting” me), but to the point where my friend would show up to my front door and I wasn’t allowed to bring them inside NOR go out with them, not even stand in the front yard with them. I felt so alone. There was a time I was grounded to my room, I wasn’t allowed to leave my room (only to use the restroom), and wasn’t fed during the day. I remember hearing my father come home and smelling the food he brought home. I was so hungry it made my mouth salivate. He loudly pronounced how he came home with hot steamy food and while they ate he loudly yelled about how delicious the food was loudly so it would hurt me even more. I was finally allowed to eat when everybody finished their dinner.
I “ran away” from my home when I was 19, after he told me he wasn't going to let me see my now husband. My now husband picked me up in his car and I called my dad and told him I was leaving. He begged me not to leave, but I told him I had to. I think that made him resent me.
I feel like my father tried to be a good dad to me, but he just had a bad upbringing and because of so he had a bad temper, had a negative view on life, and didn’t know how to raise a child. Because of that, I still tried to keep communication with him after I left and had to beg for his forgiveness for leaving the way I did. But I ended up being the only one to call him (he never called me), and every time we talked he was emotionally abusive to me and made me cry. One of the phone calls where he made me cry he literally laughed and said “aww did I make you cry?” in a mocking manner. After I told him I was pregnant with my first and he just laughed at me and pretended like I was joking the whole time, I decided I didn’t want that negativity in my life. Every single time I decided to call my father it made me feel extremely stressed and anxious, and I didn’t want to feel that way during my pregnancy. After I gave birth and still didn’t hear from him, I felt like I didn’t want that stress and negativity in mine or my children’s lives.
I just found out I am pregnant with my 2nd a few weeks ago and just announced to everyone. I talked on the phone with my stepmom and she cried really badly saying how it hurts her so much seeing me hurt my father by not calling him and how horrible it is that he hasn’t met his granddaughter. I told her if he feels like he wants to talk to me he is more than welcome to call me and I won’t ignore his phone call, and she told me “Well he never said anything about it, but I know he wants you to talk to him”. She kept crying about how much he loved me as a child and how he was a "perfect father" and that I can’t deny that he was a great father. I couldn’t say anything because she was balling her eyes out at this point. She told me she thinks he’s hurt because of the way I left that he was worried that I ran off to my husbands family and told them quote “things you shouldn’t have told them” and then quickly changed it to “told them lies about him mistreating you and other things that aren’t true”. She finished the call saying “you know how your father is he isn’t the type to reach out, please it’s hurting me so much to see you two not talking please it’s in your hands to fix things, it’s Christmas, it’s supposed to be the time of love and family” etc. This made me feel really bad and guilty like I’m an asshole.
I have no desire to call my father and talk to him. I don’t know if he even wants to talk to me, he has never expressed the desire to and has been very hurtful when we did used to talk. I only feel bad because my stepmom wants me to talk to him, she begged me to call him and said how much it’s hurting her. It stressed me out immensely just thinking about calling him. Would I be the asshole not to call him for Christmas? Because I really don’t want to. But I also don’t want my family to resent me just because I don’t want a relationship with my father.
TLDR; I stopped talking to my emotionally and physically abusive father, but my stepmom wants me to call him again for Christmas and I really don’t want to, but I also don’t want my family to resent me.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
t17UknmUghhKCKrQrg62l8kGMBmZhA7D
|
aud1nu
|
{
"description": "wanting every anti-vaxxer to get Measles",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for wanting every anti-vaxxer to get Measles?
|
I’m not saying I want any of them to die, but I do want them to be rewarded for their stupidity. I feel bad for the innocent children, but they unfortunately have the burden of shitty parents. So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 4,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
WRONG
|
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