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|
b6t4h7
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{
"description": "walking in on my roommate with his girlfriend",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for walking in on my roommate with his girlfriend?
|
A little backstory, I go to college and me and my roommate share a room. Not very big, just enough to fit 2 beds, 2 dressers, 2 desks, and 2 closets.
This morning I got a text from him saying he wants to get the room so he and his girlfriend want the room to themselves from 8:30-10, promising to not go any longer than that. This happens often so although I’m not a fan of this happening, as sometimes he asks for the room until midnight, even on school nights, I agree. Keep in mind I have classes about an hour and a half before he does, so I can’t be awake all night like he does.
Anyways, tonight I was in my friends room next door, killing time until I can go back, which again, would be 10pm at the latest. As soon as it turns to 10, I text him to make sure I can come back, as I normally do. No response. I give it 10 minutes for him to respond, but still nothing. At this point, I’m getting frustrated because I have work to do, which I can’t because my laptop and notes are all in my backpack, which is in my room. Finally after 15 minutes from the initial text I decide to walk in anyways, because sometimes he doesn’t answer his phone and isn’t in the room anymore.
I open the door and am immediately greeted with him frantically telling me to close the door and to get out. I never looked up, so I didn’t see anything. Another thing about my roommate is he has never had sex before, so I assumed nothing would be going on. Anyways, I keep my head down, grab my bag while he is basically yelling at me to leave the room, and leave. I was only inside for 10 seconds at the most, not even seeing anything.
After about an hour, I get a text from him saying he is finally out of the room, even though it is close to 11pm, and that what I did “wasn’t cool” because I should have knocked and respected his privacy. Although I understand where he is coming from, I still had work to do and couldn’t be up all night waiting for him to leave OUR room.
When I told some of my other friends they have had mixed emotions about what I did. In the end, everyone was about 50/50.
So AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
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b3x2y1
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{
"description": "refusing to show pictures of my Comic Con weekend at work",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for refusing to show pictures of my Comic Con weekend at work?
|
Throwaway account because I openly share my reddit account everywhere.
​
Upcoming weekend I'm going to one of the biggest Comic Cons europe has to offer. I'm going with a couple of friends and we all cosplay. We got a lot planned this weekend, including group cosplays and some photoshoots.
​
I'm also currently doing an internship as a software engineer. The company I work for has a very casual atmosphere and it really feels like a big family. I really like all my colleagues. We all have lunch together in the meeting room. During these lunches, people who did something memorable last weekend or went on vacation or something often show photos of what they've been doing on the TV.
​
During one of these lunches someone asked if anyone had any fun plans this weekend. I happily said I'm going to comic con with a few friends, explained what it is etc. They were positive/neutral about it and suggested I showed some photos next week.
​
Here's the thing; I'd prefer to not openly present those photos in front of the entire workfloor (about 15 people). It's not that I don't want them to see it, I just think it'll be rather weird and awkward if I display me and my friends dressed up as anime characters, without them having any context or knowledge of those series or characters at all.
​
TL;DR: Colleagues often show pictures of fun weekends during lunches. I'm going to comic con in cosplay, would I be the asshole for not showing pictures on TV at office during lunch because I feel like it'll be awkward and weird?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
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NOBODY
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RIGHT
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9yd29h
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{
"description": "bullying someone who bullied me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for bullying someone who bullied me?
|
Back in freshman year I was 5"7 and really fat, And this one kid used to always cup me in front of my friends or whenever he saw me but then the next year I had a growth spurt or something and I was 6"3 200 pounds and he tried to do it again but I grabbed his arm and twisted it really bad and everyone started to laugh at him for backing up. Now whenever I see him in the hall I gran his hand and laugh. I've stopped doing it but AITA for bullying him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
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AUTHOR
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{
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|
WRONG
|
ZUtfj8ISVeFbG41BCa0T2EAi2gRa3yRh
|
b3uioz
|
{
"description": "watching Orange is the New Black with a 14 f even though I am 23 m",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for watching Orange is the New Black with a 14 F even though I am 23 M
|
So this happened a few months ago but my family (who I am living with) was housing (they paid for their food, and helped around the house but did not pay rent) a Spanish co-worker for a few months and his family for the final month, we were happy to do this.
​
I am 23 and their daughter was 14, we decided to watch the new season of Orange is the New Black together as her parents let her watch it and neither of us had started the new season. We even took the idea of the draft the guards set up and drafted characters and made a game of the season. I told someone about this and they made it seem like I was an asshole for watching a show with as much nudity and sex with a 14 year-old. I am not attracted to kids at all and was kind of offended by that assertion, but am I an asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
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|
a7izba
|
{
"description": "asking my mom to put gas in the car",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for asking my mom to put gas in the car?
|
So, tonight, my dad and I were out and we took my mom’s car. He asked me to take his for fuel when we returned home. We discovered my mom had taken it. Not a problem, they share the vehicles. I call my mom and nicely ask her to put gas in the car (has like a 1/16 of a tank). She replies “It has enough for your dad to get to work tomorrow” and says no. AITA for thinking mom should put gas in car?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
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OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
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|
b7sqo8
|
{
"description": "being concerned about my best friend's relationship",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being concerned about my best friend's relationship?
|
If you want the full story check out the post I made on [r/relationship\_advice](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice) [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/b0l9ex/my_ex_best_friend_17f_cut_me_off_because_i_was/) *(recommended for full context)*
My bestfriend, who's 17, cut me off because I explained to her that her relationship with her 23 year old boyfriend concerned me. I was fair in my message to her saying that love comes with time and so does knowing someone completely. However, because my friend is delusional and didn't like what she heard, she broke our off friendship.
I care for her a lot and she tends to do this with boyfriends. She puts all the focus on him and if anyone has a bad thing to say, she will cut them off like they meant absolutely nothing. I know it wasn't my place to have an opinion on their relationship, but considering he was a 23 year old from tinder who knew she was 17 from the get go (it was in her bio) I just found it a bit creepy. I got a bad vibe from him to be honest.
He also stated that he had never had a serious girlfriend and had only one night stands. My friend is so easy to manipulate with words so I was worried. AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
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OTHER
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{
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RIGHT
|
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|
b3nt6v
|
{
"description": "asking my partner to not express his phobias in front our children",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my partner to not express his phobias in front our children?
|
We are getting married with my partner soon and we want to start a family.
He has a very bad phobia of going to the doctor, getting tests done, being diagnosed etc. probably because of his traumatic experiences. Through high school/early college he had multiple lung surgeries that left him with many scars.
Couple of days ago I tried to convince him to get some blood tests done because he has some health issues. At first he freaked out and said he doesn’t want to go, eventually I eased him into the idea that health problems won’t go away just because you ignore them and diagnosis can actually help you get right treatment.
After that conversation I asked him if when we will have children he could try to not express his fears of doctors in front of them, so they are not scared as well. I told him I would like him to try speak of going to the doctor as something positive in front of them and only express this negativity when we are alone with no kids around. He agreed but I felt terrible guilt afterwards.
After all... I have fear of insects and if someone told me to not freak out when I see a giant bug it would be very difficult for me. Fear is something very difficult to control. I feel like I’m expecting too much of him...
In summary - Am I the asshole for wanting my partner to not express his fears and phobias in front of our future children so they are not scared of them too?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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NOBODY
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|
RIGHT
|
AlBNyZN4mdq7AIpWWHFj8pWP3gIwf6Fy
|
aivx66
| null |
AITA? My girlfriend thinks North Dakota might not exist
|
Alright, so at some point tonight North Dakota was mentioned. It might have been on Facebook, TV, maybe someone mentioned it, I honestly can’t remember. However, my girlfriend announces that she read something about how North Dakota was a conspiracy, and how it was just a big cover up for something. She couldn’t answer what it was covering up exactly or how North Dakota is clearly on every map in modern print. She claims that I couldn’t name anyone, place, or thing from North Dakota which was simply not true.
For whatever reason, she thinks there’s a reasonable doubt that North Dakota doesn’t exist, simply because she knows almost nothing about it. Now here’s where you find out if I’m the asshole or not. For me personally, it’s an issue if my significant other is gullible enough to believe North Dakota might not exist. She thinks I’m an asshole because I googled facts about North Dakota and told her that I needed her to promise me that she didn’t actually believe North Dakota could possibly be not real. After a few minutes of trying to get her to believe in North Dakota (I cant believe I’d ever be in this situation) she finally caved. I’m not totally convinced though.
Am I the asshole for needing her to believe in North Dakota?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Mz44pjnvaQn8i8la1iuSPh64n0g0VnJ2
|
aset8h
|
{
"description": "changing play style",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for changing play style
|
A few things before the story because not everyone knows Ark:
Tribe- clan
Alpha- largest/strongest tribe that makes the rules
A friend and I both started playing this game called Ark Survival Evolved on pc a little over 2 years ago or so. The objective of the game is to build up a base, tame dinosaurs, beat bosses but you can just do what you want. We joined a server and soon after started getting trolled by a person named Joey. He only went after newbies so soon after we learned the mechanics, he chose a new victim.
After getting our base destroyed numerous times, we took a break from Ark for a bit.
A huge inter-server war started around this time and we were in the middle of it. Alpha tribes of all different servers were trying to pillage servers while other alphas started barricading off their own obelisks with automated turrets and walls.
Our servers’ defenses were good but not good enough. An enemy Alpha tribe got into the server somehow and went on to wreck the entire server there was nothing we could do to stop it, we just watched as their wyvern slowly disintegrated the dinosaurs and home we grew to love.
(This changed how we played Ark permanently)
BIRTH OF BOBS:
We no longer saw a point in building at all as it would just be destroyed anyway. We now saw took after Joey.
We joined a new server. Again, my friend and I both created a tribe together, this time called “Tribe of Bobs”. We had a few differences in character build, but mainly leveled melee damage to allow us to knock others out in 1 hit. This quickly became the most fun thing to do in the game because you could knock someone out and they had to just sit there and wait. We got better and better at infiltrating bases and ambushing. Some people would have large groups come help them some didn’t. A lot of people begged us to stop and offered us stuff/asked what we wanted/why we were doing it.
Unlike Joey we didn’t just do this to new comers. New comers were way to easy to knock out and it wasn’t fun, nor did it feel good. The most fun was when we’d fight larger tribes than us which was mostly everyone because we are just two people, but also when the enemy is experienced. The experienced players had guns, better dinosaurs, harder bases to get into, and they tried to jail us. A few times we had gotten caught and thought it was all over but hatched well thought out plans to free each other from these prisons and every single time they worked.
The best part was we easily made armor, clubs and made no bases, we just spawned where we heard people were at. Our enemies would always say they’d get us back and that we’d be sorry but there was nothing they could do or take from us. No one was able to stop us, it was so exhilarating! Sometimes doing these things we felt bad because we were making others feel bad. But the entire servers we were on were about pvp, if they didn’t want to have people attacking them, they could have played pve.
|
HISTORICAL
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AUTHOR
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WRONG
|
JmlLlwLMdrB3Bs68ixjOYFBZ5djXdtVO
|
b6ngvn
|
{
"description": "acting \"weird\" in front of my boyfriend's coworkers when they're making no effort to engage me and are generally ignoring my existence",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for acting "weird" in front of my boyfriend's coworkers when they're making no effort to engage me and are generally ignoring my existence
|
tl;dr my boyfriend works in the forestry sector and one of his co-workers is leaving, so today his company had a leaving meal. Afterwards two other co-workers came past my boyfriend and I's flat and I was invited to go out with a coffee with them.
We go out to a coffee shop and I didn't end up having a very nice time. The entire time it was either all three of them engaged in discussion about forestry, or two of them engaged in discussion about forestry with my boyfriend and I being cut out of the discussion. **Don't get me wrong though,** I don't mind this. One of his co-workers is leaving, obviously the focus of any discussion is going to be with him. My issue is that the entire time I was there, despite repeated efforts to engage in the conservation (I don't know much about the industry and the terminology they were using), I was pretty much waved over or mostly ignored. Because I was just sitting there awkwardly I tried to focus my attention on my boyfriend and strike up a conversation with him instead, but he was acting off. Whenever we had a quiet moment to ourselves I kept asking him he was okay, but he told me that he was fine. It was only when we got home that he pulled me aside and told me that actually, yes, he did have a problem. He told me that I was acting really weird and rude. That I was just sitting there staring out of the window and biting my nails (I am a nail biter, but I only do it when I'm feeling anxious, and I do it subconsciously). He told me that it was weird that I kept trying to talk to him when he was actually listening to his co-workers conversation (my bad on that. I genuinely thought he was bored too since he kept staring into space).
I get mad and tell him that if I looked bored it was because nobody was making any attempt to reciprocate me. He's telling me that it's my fault that nobody's talking to me because I look bored and that if I don't understand the conversation then I should just pretend to be interested. I'm telling him that it's a chicken and an egg situation because the only reason I was looking bored, staring out the window and was probably biting my nails was because nobody was accepting any of my efforts to engage in the discussion, and that I wasn't going to lie and pretend to be interested in a conversation I know nothing about because I hate when I'm talking to people about something and they pretend to be interested in it because I think it's a waste of both our time (and to be fair to me, I did try asking questions, like whether the sweet chestnut tree was native to UK, but all that happened was that my question was answered and then went straight back to being ignored).
Did I actually do something wrong here? I genuinely don't get it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
s7XdOhOLK247BuVqI2J8r0OSGtUurOET
|
ajtnmw
|
{
"description": "being upset that my wife is going to Italy w/out me",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For being upset that my wife is going to Italy w/out me?
|
A few months ago my wife attended a school meeting for my will be middle school daughter to go on a 8-10 day trip to Italy as apart of a school group at the cost of ~5K USD. Cool, right...It's expensive for us but it's an experience we'd both like out daughter to have.
Last week I started to ask about chaperones and who they would be and my wife revealed she's going to be one at the cost of an additional ~5K USD.
So, I'm pretty upset and hurt that my wife is going to Italy without me and not tell me about it until I started asking questions she couldn't avoid without lying to me. I also need to add the financial aspect is upsetting as well. While I live a relatively comfortable life I never have money to do expensive fun things like go to Italy which I would love to do. AITA for being extremely upset and hurt?
Thanks for your input.
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
b4pl0l
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{
"description": "refusing to go to church with my mom",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to go to church with my mom
|
I was raised in a Catholic family and have never felt a connection with the religion or any kind of religion. I am no longer religious now that I am older and self sufficient. I keep my views to myself and mind my own business.
I live on my own in a different state from my family now. Whenever I go back to visit or when my mom comes to visit me, she insists that we go to mass on Sunday. Here's the thing: I hate going to mass. It's pointless to me since I am not a part of the religion, and I can hardly stand it. I don't like being forced or manipulated into going.
I tell my mom no, I really don't want to go. And she always retorts with "You know, it wouldn't kill you to do something nice for me sometimes". My mom and I have a pleasant relationship, so I never understand why she pulls out that line like I'm some rude delinquent child. So I always suggest we do something else together that we can both enjoy, like going for a hike or trying something new. But that's never good enough for her, and she becomes very passive aggressive and pouts over to mass herself.
I love doing things with my mom, but I hate being forced to participate in a religion that I do not personally identify with. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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RIGHT
|
X3syUW83lCXzZC2WynPL1zTSAtSQtKfW
|
ajqqfh
|
{
"description": "not wanting my wife to leave me alone with our kids 2-4 nights per week",
"pronormative_score": 202,
"contranormative_score": 25
}
|
AITA for not wanting my wife to leave me alone with our kids 2-4 nights per week?
|
Let me start by saying that I do absolutely plan on talking to my wife about this, but I wanted a reality check first to see if my perspective on the issue is wrong.
My wife and I have been married for 4 years and we have 2 kids, a 3 year old and a 6 month old. Ever since my wife was 5, she's danced as a hobby and even now, she still dances 2 nights per week and also teaches dances on Saturdays. We both work full-time jobs and during the day, our kids go to daycare. Because of my schedule, though, I get Fridays off, so the kids stay home with me on those days instead.
Some background on the situation:
My wife dances on Tuesday and Wednesday nights after work. She doesn't even come home - she goes straight from work to dance. So I pick the kids up, make them dinner, give them baths, and put them both to bed. And on Saturdays, I get the kids up, get them dressed, fed, play with them, and generally just try to keep them alive until my wife comes home from teaching at around 2:30pm.
None of this is a big deal. I totally understand and appreciate her need to dance for her mental and emotional well-being.
But here's my AITA dilemma:
On top of that, there are usually 1-2 nights per week that my wife will be. Some examples:
- Work dinners/staff meetings that she has to attend
- Going out with her friends for dinner or drinks
- Getting a massage after dance on Saturday
So this works out to 3-4 nights per week where I'm taking care of the kids by myself plus having them along all day on Fridays and most of the day on Saturdays.
We have talked about this and she insists that I could go out a few nights a week and leave her alone with the kids, but the thing is that I don't want to go out. It's so rare that we're all home together, so when we are, I just want to enjoy time with the family.
So what do you think, Reddit? Am I the asshole for being annoyed that my wife leaves me alone with the kids 2-4 nights per week?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Qs19CNAWHTNJR4ktxCzXFhmvX0C1odLe
|
ba6i1m
|
{
"description": "telling people they shouldn't walk their dogs off leash",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for telling people they shouldn't walk their dogs off leash?
|
I live in Harlem. It is a very busy area, there is a lot of traffic at all hours of the day. Often when I'm walking my dog - always on a leash - there are people out walking their dogs without leashes. Usually their dog will then run up to my dog and get right in her face. My dog doesn't bite, but she is a senior rescue and she is strange around other dogs. Sometimes she's oblivious to them and other times she growls and gets noticeably scared. This especially happens with pitbulls and similar breeds. I am concerned about unpredictable dogs possibly hurting her, but I'm also concerned about unleashed dogs running up to her and into traffic. This has in fact almost happened but the owner grabbed their dog just in time.
NYC is very "mind your own business" and so I generally don't say anything. A few times I have said something when my dog is visibly shaken by the ordeal. I simply say, firmly but a little curtly, "You should really have your dog on a leash". I don't yell or swear but I'm not friendly about it. I've had responses ranging from "don't worry about it" to "fuck off" to just laughing at me.
AITA?
(and for the record, I have no problem with pitbulls. I think they're generally sweet and loving dogs unless they're trained to be otherwise. The issue is that *my dog* seemingly has a problem with them.)
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
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|
atd4ow
|
{
"description": "being pissed off at my metalhead co-worker",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For being pissed off at my metalhead co-worker?
|
This last week I was working out of towm with another co-worker who is a metal head. We were staying in a work house together and this guy is really into metal music and felt the need to share it with everyone around him. It was spewing out of his room, you could hear it through out the house. When he took a shower in the bathroom which was adjacent to the kitchen he played his music, when he would actually use his earbuds he had it loud enough to be heard clearly in what ever room he was in. I found it extremely grading and disrespectful to the people around him. I've asked him to turn it down. I had to ask four times today, raising my voice to practically yelling at him to turn it down. He is ten years younger than me and pretty sure he still lives with his parents for context. Am I the asshole here? I find this extremely unpleasant in a shared space. Is it just me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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RIGHT
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amja4e
| null |
AITA in this situation of my best girl friend leaving me?
|
I'm a freshman in high school, very depressed and lonely freshman. I make music and smoke a lot of weed and shit. I'm a pretty disappointing person. First day of high school, I met "SM". SM was very nice to me and was just so innocent yet I really connected with her. Before I go to bed every night there's a few people I text saying good night and reminding them that I care for them and whatever. She was one of those people, I wouldn't go a week without making sure she knew I loved her and I was here for her.
I only have 6th and 7th period with SM but she would love my stupid, funny, random, and short jokes I'd make. She once said, "I want to grow up with you and for you to be the big brother I never had." That meant a lot to me cause I myself, always wanted to be someone's bigger sibling, and after finding out I had 3 brothers I'll never get to meet, it kinda crushed my heart. But I think about that moment a lot. I have very scary/realistic flashbacks from trauma and abuse as a little child. I always think of that moment she said that. In the back of the class, watching some super hero movie, and she says that to me and I look at her with a smile and she lays her head on my back while I lay my head on my desk. That moment is a lot for me, for reasons I cannot explain.
​
November comes, I get admitted to a mental hospital. I have chronic depression, depressive disorder, and so many other things. I was addicted to self harm at the time as even feeling pain was feeling something. Before I went in, her and I had a little fight, and my first night in, I just cried myself to sleep knowing I never said sorry. I got out and I explained everything. I didn't explain the flashbacks yet as I never told anybody until the mental hospital I had them. But I explained about everything, and she dropped me. SM basically said she didn't want to be friends with me because she didn't want to turn out like me. Note, at this point I just got hurt from my relationship being ended for no reason, and now my best friend is dropping me. Double note, I have been in and out the mental hospital a few times since November.
​
To this day, I still wonder if it's my fault I lost her. I wasn't mean to her, but I would make slight jokes just like any big brother would do lol. Her friends say I was mean to her but I don't understand. I was so nice to her and I even tried to change my personality for her during our friendship. Now here's where I want to specify something. Since I got out the mental hospital about November 5th-8th, I forgot which date, I went completely sober. Then after she cut me off it was difficult to not keep smoking weed, taking xanax, and all that other bad shit. On Wednesday this week I bought 2 joints and smoked 1 with my friends. We got high as shit. The other night I had some flashbacks and an anxiety attack that all stemmed from me thinking of how I lost SM. I smoked the other joint and was so high I got hella sick, all because I still don't have clarity from this situation. I still want to die knowing it's kinda my fault. Now the question is, is SM wrong for leaving me when I need her the most? Or am I in the wrong for making her hate me?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
NOBODY
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
zyG8GriaKL6UD1DjfjISY5EXFB3Erqah
|
ay27op
|
{
"description": "telling my friend she's the reason her relationships always fail",
"pronormative_score": 38,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I told my friend she’s the reason her relationships always fail?
|
So, I (20F) have been friends with C (20F) since we were little kids. She’s always had a very demanding attitude. She’s the definition of “It’s my way or the highway!” and she honestly is crazy when she’s in relationships.
She used to date this guy, M, in high school. They broke up because she cheated on him with a guy she had been having a very long term affair with.
Recently C and M started talking again, but M is in a bad place. He’s couch surfing at a friend’s house, he just got out of a relationship a few months ago in which he was cheated on and his girlfriend got pregnant.
C wants a relationship, but M isn’t ready which is pretty understandable. They hung out every day/night over the last month up until this past weekend, when M was hanging out with his friends.
Friday night she texted me freaking out because M would rather go to a party with his friends than hang out with her. I was sick with the flu, but she demanded that I come with her to show up at a party we aren’t invited to so that she could be petty and make him “know that she’s angry.” I refused, and she got pissed at me for it. She went alone.
Saturday, M was working on his truck. C blew up his and my phone all day, because he wasn’t texting her as much as she felt that he should be. Once again, she went out driving past all of the possible places he could be at until she happened to pass him on the road—at which time she whipped a u-turn and followed him. They ended up hanging out that night because she just got into his vehicle without asking and refused to leave.
Sunday, he had plans to hang out with his friends again—but C swore he made plans with her. He refused to leave to come hang out with her, so once again she went looking for him. She found his vehicle which he stupidly left the keys inside of and MOVED IT.
Monday comes and she’s trying to get me to message him and “make him feel bad for treating her so horribly.” I refused. She got pissed again. She sent me screenshots of her demanding that he come to her house and talk to her, in which he responded he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk to her anymore after all of this. She called him a fucking dipshit and demanded that he go to her house to talk to her.
I’m sick of hearing her cry about the fact that she can never just find a good guy and have a happy relationship, and having to bite my tongue to keep from saying that she’s the reason it never works out.
WIBTA if I finally told her that the reason her relationships never work out is because she’s horrible to all the guys who give her a chance? Obviously I wouldn’t just rip her ass and call her names, but try and put it constructively.
TL;DR: my friend is abusive in her relationships, but always makes herself the victim and can’t figure out why no one ever wants to be in a LTR with her.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 38,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
v38GmUjhoZViLNVFLLtHJXzkh3yxKyDu
|
aht8b4
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my bf for unlocking a character on my copy of Smash Bros Ultimate",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 26
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my BF for unlocking a character on my copy of Smash Bros Ultimate?
|
So for Christmas, my brother got me a Nintendo Switch and Smash Ultimate, which I had been so excited to play! Since the switch was completely mine, unlike the wii that my brother and I shared, I was really excited to play through the game by myself. When we played brawl, I was too young and bad at the game to play the story mode myself, but now, over a decade later, I was really excited to unlock every character myself, whether it be via normal vs modes or the story mode, World of Light.
Flash forward to this weekend. Yesterday, we were playing smash with friends, and everytime a new character showed up, I emphasized that I'm always the one to unlock new characters. I made this very clear. Today, we were hanging out with friends, with them playing risk and I was playing smash on my switch. I left for 30 minutes or so to help out a friend in anothet building. I came back when they were done woth Risk, and he told me that he had broken one of my rules, and showed me my switch, which had the screen that said that a character (incineroar) was unlocked. And also, in doing so, he unlocked kne of the acheivements. Naturally, I was super upset and ended up getting really pissy at him and also crying a bunch because I'm just sad about this! I'm honestly considering restarting the whole game just so that I can unlock everything!!! I keep going through these periods of getting mad at him because he KNEW that just this once, I wanted to 100% complete this one game. I know I'm not going to 100% pokemon lets go or breath of the wild, but this one time, I was ready to do something completely on my own, and he messed that up for me.
Tl;dr: i wanted to 100% complete this game, but my boyfriend unlocked one of the characters while I was away and ruined that for me.
Is my anger justified, or AITA here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 26
}
|
WRONG
|
bfEdKyJE0W3BYZiZ6zYtKex5JMyk9IQ4
|
a7bhgu
|
{
"description": "getting excited when discussing plans to move away from his ex wifes, home state. hes divorced with kids",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA getting excited when discussing plans to move away from his ex wifes, home state. Hes divorced with kids
|
Hes divorced with kids. He loves them very very much. The divorce was only 6 months ago. I also ended a long term relationship at the same time. I do not have kids. We both discuss how we live in this small town with no opportunity for income growth. But our financial needs grow especially while his ex states she needs more for child support while she is already working two jobs.
I would like to know if I'm an asshole when we discuss the possibility of moving to areas out of state??? Because I understand how much he loves his babies and I would hope to one day be a part of their life if they are ready for that. BUT the decision comes down to. Sticking around to stay involved in the kids life as much as possible on a weekly basis... Vs. moving to a new area for jobs that pay a hefty amount more than what we make now, and being able to financially support his kids.
We are both more than qualified and capable of finding and fulfilling new jobs with higher pay grades.
Advice please. Because I can see the benefits and cons to both decisions. However, I don't think he will ever know what the "right decision" is.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
4q7DyA5C4wHaGqKHMPUMVY2K8A2zYQRF
|
ba4ye3
|
{
"description": "being frustrated by my girlfriends bipolar",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being frustrated by my girlfriends bipolar
|
I love my girlfriend and she’s great, we have a brilliant relationship most of the time until her bipolar flares up. Today at 3.am she rung me up while I was sleeping, I woke up and answered and she proceeded to say I didn’t care about her and I wanted other girls than her, then she said she hated me and never wanted to see me again, I later found out this was because of a dream.
I stayed on the phone all night with her comforting and telling her how much I love her. As a result I woke up grumpy and in a bad mood due to no sleep. This happens every month and it’s frustrating to hear her say this all the time when she’s sad, I feel awful about it but it’s a regular thing and it feels like she doesn’t trust me. AITA?
Also, she is currently in a down spell due to said dream, I can’t see her over the weekend due to my best friends part being tonight and a family outing tomorrow, I’ve offered to cancel the family outing but she says I should go, however she keeps on bringing up the fact I’m not there at her house even though I cannot do anything to get there. I’m seeing her on Monday to check if she’s ok but she keeps saying it’ll be too late. I feel like shit about it. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
XsBWO9ta7vaTDFIEEbOGuFNXinfmlvUR
|
b5q1ov
|
{
"description": "wanting girlfriend to block her friend",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting girlfriend to block her friend?
|
So my (18M) girlfriend(26F) and I are in a LDR and have been together for 11 months. We met in a game and will be meeting up in about a week actually.
So my gf was playing a game became friends with this guy online, i have no problem with her having guy friends, i trust her. However, I want her to block this guy because when she was playing this game with a few friends, the guy asked her to make a promise that if we broke up they would get together.
I was, annoyed, to say the least. My gf accepted only because the guy said if she didnt make the promise hed end himself. My other friends were there and testified to this.
So, of course, i dont want her talking to this guy. I have no doubt in my mind that he was lying and that he was just saying that to manipulate her.
When i asked my gf to do that, she said she wanted to but didnt want to hear later that he died. She ended up blocking him everywhere cus not only I but my other friends convinced her that she should not associater herself with someone like that.
Afterwards i felt a bit bad cus it seemed i was just a jealous and controlling boyfriend. So AITA for asking her to do that?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 5,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Q1W6ReOVlOsf8YxYfrH2AqBMnH3d5qGh
|
9ufc52
|
{
"description": "talking to a guy who asked out my sister",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for talking to a guy who asked out my sister?
|
We're twins at 19. We're both on the spectrum and I've had very little experience with boys, she's had none at all whatsoever. She never liked him and rejected him and talks about how awkward it is that he asked her out. 3 days ago I saw him in town and he started talking to me. He didn't seem to have any ill feelings towards my sisters rejection and spoke like they're mates. I liked him and he added me on Facebook yesterday, started talking to me. My mum said he was flirting. My sister got upset because she thinks it's awkward. AITA??
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
92T1AFCNIlB0j2VANZCDLyeTpgfjm2mn
|
b7d9k4
|
{
"description": "avoiding someone I was mildly scared of",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for avoiding someone I was mildly scared of?
|
I (M, 16) am currently in some deep shit.
​
About a year ago during lunch, I was in a debate with my friends about whether purple was a color or not. Don't ask what the argument was, because I could not tell you for the life of me. I had just gotten back from buying my lunch and sat down at the table with my friends, and they attempt to catch me up on the debate. My friend who started the debate asked what I thought, so I (jokingly) said of course it's not a color. In response he (jokingly) told me to sit under the table and think about my life. This was meant to be like a "go sit in the corner" kind of thing. I oblige and find an (at the time) empty table. LO AND BEHOLD this was a bad idea. As soon as I sit down under the table, a group of high school girls sits down at that very table. I get out immediately, and, well, picture this. You've just sat down at an empty table with your friends, you open your lunch, having a good laugh, and then this highschool boy crawls out from under it. Pretty obviously not the best situation to be in. After a bit of panic, I get sent to the office, they try their best to understand my side of the story, understandably I get in a heap of trouble, after a week the whole situation settles down. But believe it or not, this is not what I'm asking you to judge. You can judge if you want though.
Now after this incident, I start avoiding everyone who sat at that table, and I especially avoid one person at the table. I tried to learn her route through the school to avoid interaction, I made no conversation, and everything was going good. This person had a "history" to say the least. She was a total teacher's pet, friends with all the girls at our school, and, for some reason, believed that all boys were out to get her. Now a couple more things to note, I go to a very liberal school. Like, extremely liberal. As in a kid got bullied out of school because he came out as a Trump supporter level liberal. Now about a year later I wasn't screaming out into the void that I was going to stay away from her, but somehow through the grapevine, she figured out that I was avoiding her. What followed was her reporting me to the office for whatever reason, me getting sent to the office AGAIN for whatever reason, and me getting in trouble AGAIN because apparently avoiding someone throughout the year is not allowed.
And that's my situation. So please, go stupid, go crazy, and tell me AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
1oAC1KbEiS5THNd15UovDdEqlAvusAUn
|
ag4kr0
|
{
"description": "showing up for free food and leaving",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA if I show up for free food and leave?
|
Hey guys, standard broke college student here.
So, the university offers free food for students that show up and listen to a presentation. Sometimes the presentation requires chatting in small groups / other participation, and it usually lasts an hour long.
WIBTA if I show up for the free food and leave because of class?
I don't have time to stay for the full session, but would stay if I didn't have class.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
k6epbIrCd05hRsgGdhP9Zq2Kajpj07iD
|
b711y7
|
{
"description": "just snitching on my class for cheating",
"pronormative_score": 35,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA? I just snitched on my class for cheating?
|
I am currently in the hardest class of my life, MKTG 3100. It shouldn’t be this hard but my professor belongs on a different subreddit. I have never worked so hard for a C in my life (I’ve never gotten a C until now either) I was consistently making scores in the bottom % of the class and kept trying to study harder to overcome this class. While looking around during the last test I noticed all the people who usually skip class (~90% of the class) are cheating very hard. Using the internet, asking each other, taking pictures and sending them to each other, etc. I was furious because the professor has been thinking his tests weren’t hard and the grade % data confirmed that. After I finished the test I asked to speak to him. I told him what I saw and to notice the only people left in the room testing all came to class daily and I witnessed most of the class cheating. I made sure to tell him after the test was done and not mention anybody specifically so no one will be in trouble. He will be watching us test from now on to keep an eye on cheating. I enjoy doing things the correct way and it felt unfair I was studying 8+ hours per test while other students just showed up and made a grade 30 points higher than me, making my professor think his test was too easy because 90% of the class got an A. I have never snitched like this before so idk if it was the correct thing to do.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 34,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 35,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
GSbd2JFEK30Jva2Bv9d3z9AviHNq0EXl
|
b2da5j
| null |
AITA for tellibg my brother to tell his nurse he smoked weed
|
So some important context is I'm a regular stoner much to the dissapointed of my mother. She hasn't been happy about my smoking habits but recognizes she can't actually stop me. She refuses to believe any new studies that come out about weed and still believes a lot of lies spread from the war on drugs. She still is however a very understanding and kind woman and I wouldn't wish for another mom if I could.
My younger (18 year old) brother recently got diagnosed with a rare muscle disorder that requires him to receive antibody donations thru blood transfers. I don't know the whole science behind it. My brother came to me and told me he had tried weed with his friends the week before, and asked if it's gonna mess with his treatment. I told him flat out I don't know, but to ask the nurse when she got here and see what she said.
The next day the nurse actually called us to ask a few questions pre-trearment. One of them being if he's had cannabis anytime recently. My brother confessed and told our mother and the nurse he tried it. My mom wasn't upset with him at all and she was grateful he said something which the opposite reaction I got when she found out that I smoke.
Tonight it came to light that I had told him to tell the nurse and not her, and my mom feels betrayed. She said she's beyond hurt that I told him to tell 'an absolute stranger' meaning the nurse, who is a trained medical professional. As opposed to her, our mother, who isn't educated on the topic and Is prone to more emotional responses on the topic.
I never told my brother not to tell her, because it's his life. He knew how she reacted with me, and chose not to tell her before it came up, but she's acting like I told him not to trust her. Which just inst true. I trust my mom with everything but smoking, because she just won't listen to reason on the topic. We normally have an incredible relationship, but tonight is feeling strained.
She went on to tell me how dissapointed she is and that she doesn't want to see me for the night because of how hurt she is. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
cVPnDP0BvQNkZiTcYpeK5hrieSLFF7H4
|
b7irzm
|
{
"description": "thinking that my relationship with my girlfriend was over",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for thinking that my relationship with my girlfriend was over?
|
Alright so lemme get some context here.
My girlfriend, soon to be ex, is a bitch and causes trouble for no good reason. I have an ex who still likes me but I don't feel the same way anymore.
Girlfriend will be named Nash.
So basically Nash always makes a big deal out of something that won't happen and we always argue about it. We had a huge fight on February 25th and she is all like "We are done" so I say "Alright" and ignore her for a week or two. I start talking to my ex about the problem and then Nash texts me saying "How could you..." the goes into a whole rant how I cheated on her... even though she said we were done. And when I tried to finalize our break up she is all like "but I love you don't do this..."
Am I really the asshole here? Just need some confirmation to back me up.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 7,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
WRONG
|
9v7qMfZ3NTca5JPbkKiQtWVM31QHHuxX
|
ablsdm
|
{
"description": "asking my boyfriend not to get gauges",
"pronormative_score": 26,
"contranormative_score": 25
}
|
AITA for asking my boyfriend not to get gauges?
|
My (25 F) boyfriend (26 M) currently has no body mods and neither do I. When we met, I made it very clear that I don't like them because I think they're trashy. I know some people like them, which is fine, but I personally do not. We've been dating for about three years and nothing much has changed since then until just recently.
This past week, my bf says he wants to get gauges in his ears as a show of solidarity with his friend who is a big body mod enthusiast. He says his friend recently became sober and he wants to celebrate with him by getting small gauges (the earring things) in his ears. He said it would mean a lot to his friend but I told him I hate it because I think it's trashy and it reminds me of some of the scumbag type people my sister used to date (I know not all people who like mods are trashy but it's just how I feel). He got really mad and told me I was being controlling. I'm not sure if I want to be in this relationship anymore because he knew I don't like them but he wants to do it anyway.
So, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 15,
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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"WRONG": 25
}
|
RIGHT
|
PnR53aOJa8eB0riqMGBotf4lnkl8QyB8
|
b98oi2
|
{
"description": "accidentally taking a parking space",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for accidentally taking a parking space?
|
This happened yesterday and I’m still a bit shaken up over it. For some context, I’m 16, so I’m not the best driver. It was also a pretty crowded parking lot, I guess Trader Joe’s is the spot to be at 5pm on a Tuesday.
I was looking for a parking spot with my friend so we could meet up with another friend to go grocery shopping with her. I saw a car pulling out so I took the spot, but it pulled out so that you couldn’t see the other side of the road. I didn’t realize that there was a guy waiting for the spot there until after I was already in. I only learned after this incident that you’re meant to pull out and give the other person the spot then. I haven’t been driving very long.
Once I was in the spot, I just stayed there really out of confusion of what to do. Once realizing there was someone there waiting before us, me and my friend laughed a bit awkwardly. I’m sure the dude got the impression we stole it on purpose. He immediately started honking and yelling at us. He was saying a lot of rude things and threatening to hurt us. He said a lot of “fuck you”s and yelled out “if you weren’t a girl, I’d fuck you up” (sometimes sexism IS beneficial!). He eventually drove away after a good minute or two of this. My friend was laughing at this and I sort of chuckled along out of awkwardness and fear. Once he was away, I was shaking and terrified to get out of the car. I waited a long while before trying, even with my friend trying to convince me it’s fine.
He didn’t come out of the car or anything, he was just yelling out of his. He never made a direct threat of violence or that he was going to follow me, but I was really worried about that.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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}
|
EVERYBODY
|
{
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}
|
WRONG
|
E801F7lbgOWgVf6LxoprAijvm6PDZsVJ
|
a7m6xp
|
{
"description": "not helping my coworkers out with every tiny bit of work",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not helping my coworkers out with every tiny bit of work?
|
So I work in the german military.
Its a simple office job. In the offices next to mine there are several coworkers but each one of us is working in different departments. Everyone of us is in the military for at least 10 years and more then 2 years in our department.
Up to this day they still come to my office asking questions regarding their department - of which I of course have alomst zero knowledge. They ask me which form to use, which superior department to call in terms of some orders, whom to address in business-emails, how to write an email properly etc. etc. Its like they never did their job before. They seem to be super insecure and are afraid of doing mistakes and by asking me they try to share resposibility for their mistakes with me.
For the first few months I tried to help them as much as I can. I tried to find simple solutions so they can easily remember common tasks. But there seems to be almost zero progress. They still come up with two sentence emails and ask me if it would be okay to write it this way.
Some weeks I feel like I am busier doing their job instead of my own.
So after almost 2 years of working together last month I simply stopped helping. When they came up with a question or a task I just told them, that they already knew how to handle the problem or at least where they would find the regulation to look it up themselves. But to this day they refuse to look things up but expect other people to just hand them the solution on a silver platter.
Now two of them just got mad at me and told me I am an asshole for not helping them anymore and that they are disappointed of me.
Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
FG7NnDXLcdnr0c1WOL4qUv1qhEohnDma
|
b2h3sc
|
{
"description": "asking my family to turn their phone notifications off when I'm around",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA if I asked my family to turn their phone notifications off when I’m around?
|
(English isn’t my first language so excuse and grammar mistakes)
So, a bit of backstory. I have a condition called Misophonia which translates to a ‘hatred of sound’. Basically, certain sounds that may sound normal to other people like the sound of typing on the computer, eating, and snapping your fingers trigger an extreme reaction from me. I get extremely angry or if it’s really bad I can get a panic attack. My two worst triggers are any sounds that come from the mouth like chewing, swallowing and whatever and the sound of typing on your phone and phone notifications. (My whole family knows this btw). When I know I will get triggered I wear ear plugs or headphones to cancel out the sound (like when I’m eating with people or in a classroom) but the thing with phone notifications is that they are random, which means I can’t prepare for that they are going to happen. The worst thing is that both my mom and my step dad have to sue their work phones a lot and tend to have their notifications on very loud. I get that they have to use them for work but if they just carry their phones around in their pockets on vibrations it should be ok right?
The worst thing is that they don’t really understand how Misophonia works, I can’t really help when I get angry and it doesn’t help that they get really angry at me back. All of this is pretty recent for me and I don’t know how to deal with it yet, though I am trying my very best. I’ve tried telling them what triggers me but they only pay attention to the chewing trigger and ignore everything else which in turn I feel make them worse.
So yeah, would I be the asshole?
Thanks!
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 7,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
i6ZRSURtVI0N6bipBaToPRgeRFtjdrRI
|
a3fhq0
|
{
"description": "collecting rent to in laws living in my house",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for collecting rent to In laws living in my house??
|
Ok long story short, in February 2017 the father of my wife asks me to support them temporally because he had to move to the city (he has just got a government contract, and as he didn't know how long is was going to be. OK I agree to not be the asshole. Time past and they only pay for utilities (almost all of them, but still is less than 20% of the rental market value of the house), now we must move for job reasons. So, the thing is, since we left the house, they ask to stay there but we didn't set the terms because mainly of the rush of moving and secondly because she don't let me talk directly to them (it has been an issue forever). Well bottom line, has been three and a half months since we leave and yesterday, she came over to me saying that "she has just collected the rent from her parents". “OK, let me see”, and it was only one month, that when I said "WTF, they have year and a half sharing the hose with us plus three months having it for themselves and they only pay one month at half the market value?" she was like "oh, youtheasshole, my poor parents (they aren’t, he had just give away a car to his sister and always brag about how much he wages and how much he has in the bank), how I can collect backwards? that's crazy".
So, the first question is AITA for asking for the money (we're pretty thigh right now, and we pay a lot of rent)?
After that she said, I don't want trouble (nor talk with my parents), so here's this check covering your 2 months share that I didn't collect.
Second question, AITA for accepting that money?
A little bit of background about our finances is that we leverage all the expenses and each of us pays a proportional (in relation to the individual income) of the expenses, and she never forgive me any expense or payment (for example if any of us makes 2x the other income it must pay 66% of the expenses).
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
YWEbl40mLwUatxMnboTzEps6unHY1lHn
|
b1xzwi
|
{
"description": "saying \"no\"",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying “no”?
|
I know this sounds dumb, but I genuinely want to know if you consider me the asshole in this situation:
I was playing Clash of Clans (a mobile game). I was talking on the global chat, and this one Bangladeshi guy kept spamming “join join join”, so eventually I told him, “No”.
Apparently, that was a mistake. A town hall 11 in the Champions League did not like me saying no.
This is exactly what how the conversation went:
Bangladeshi guy: “join”
Me: “No”
Champion: “Windrunner (my username) is a classic example why supercell gave us the..rid the kid button
you don’t want to join someones clan..then dont join...no need to be an ass”
Me: “I just said ‘no’”
Champion: “now muted
someone says join...there is no need to say no
just dont join
damn kidiots”
Then, after he supposedly muted me, he kept going on about it, saying things like, “this is why my clan is all adults...smh”.
At this point I just found it hilarious. It was a bit of an overreaction to me saying one word.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
Qyl2Gl1sTmrpNF4yxwru8Vupgr7gIChy
|
b7j03v
|
{
"description": "being upset about being uninvited to a party",
"pronormative_score": 21,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset about being uninvited to a party?
|
About a month ago, a girl in my friend group invited me and the other girls (six of them) to her birthday party that is tonight.
I was super excited. I helped pay for this super expensive gift. I was gonna bring food. It was awesome.
Well about a week ago the girl hosting the party texted me and said I wasn’t allowed to come anymore because of a fight we had in middle school and her mom “doesn’t want me to come”.
The fight she’s talking about was in sixth grade and we are both sixteen now.
I didn’t throw a fit about it, I just accepted it even though I was hurting. I didn’t want it to put a wedge in our group because we are all really close.
I was fine with it for a little bit, but now everyone is posting about how much fun they’re having at the party. And it makes me feel really sad.
And my best friend who is in the group and went to the party asked how I was doing, and I said
“I’m okay. It just hurts my feelings that I’m the only one in the group that wasn’t allowed to go. I helped pay for the gift too and money is tight right now so it’s hard and makes me feel bad”
And the host saw that text and is now texting me saying I have no right to say those things.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 20,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 21,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
kpAAnirOqDvXh0SNZoSp0gPwGt79OSbd
|
b357zv
|
{
"description": "creating a positive attitude to the point of dis-ingenuity",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for creating a positive attitude to the point of dis-ingenuity?
|
For context I'm 24M
So I've been playing team sports for a year (basketball, volleyball etc.) with some friends at social competitions and I always strive to be the best player I can be. Recently in one of the games I did quite poorly and as a result I looked quite down/sad on the court which translated to a down/depressed atmosphere. After reflecting on that night I realised that part of being a good player is to be a positive player to instil confidence in the team.
Something to note is I'm normally quite a timid/quiet guy that doesn't normally talk; will normally just give hi5's when a good play/bad play was made.
So when next week rolls around I decide to take my attitude and turn a 180 and go really over the top (to try and trick myself) I'm screaming good jobs, you're the best, you can do it etc. generally being quite loud and rowdy with encouragement and most of the team was laughing on the court wondering what drugs I was on
The game ends and I think all is well but later I heard from a friend that my team was talking about it and they were actually quite uncomfortable/felt off putting and even scared about my sudden change in demeanour and felt I was being really disingenuous about my remarks and attitudes and it all felt way too fake. (I didn't mean to be that disingenuous I just wanted to try replicate what a super positive player would do)
AITA?
​
TL;DR: I play social competition team sports with friends, usually I'm really sad on court if I'm doing bad. Week after I turn a 180 and put on a really positive attitude. Team/friends feel off-put and that I'm being really disingenuous,
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
yffQTD6LeKK4Zwhf5TkyFgvoR7L4NB0G
|
aq30lk
| null |
Aita with my Roommate
|
So to start with some background Information, I live in a dorm style setting where I am forced to share a room with another person. We have the same job, and our schedules vary wildly from day to day, we could have to be at work at literally any time of the day.
In many situations that would normally be common sense to most people, my roommate fails to give me common courtesies, such as when I’m trying to sleep at 9:00 at night, because I have to be up at 3 the next morning for work, he comes in and turns on the lights and starts loudly talking to his girlfriend on the phone, or playing his music out loud. I do my best to show him these courtesies, like when I see him trying to sleep early, I try to stay quiet and don’t turn on the lights, especially when I know he has to be up early, or has a hard day coming up. This is just one example and I feel it would be boring to get into the numerous others, but the main one right now is the sleeping thing.
I let it go for a while, but the last couple days have been particularly bad for me, sleep wise especially. I’ve slept 5 hours in the last 3 days. My roommate knows this. I fell asleep in my desk chair for 20 minutes. He came into the room turned on the lights and his music, and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was asleep and that the lights were very bright, and his response was to continue listening to his music and tell me about how I could get into the bed and put something over my eyes to block it. I snapped a little at him, he cracked an attitude and cited me clicking my lighter in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep, and that it kept him up, but he didn’t say anything because he knew that I hadn’t been sleeping lately. Keep in mind he was already up when I was doing this.
Other people in the dorm have told me that it’s a really gray area, or that I’m not justified in being upset about this. So really aita here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
EayDXfMCGsKYDD43WybcXtuoBio9iA3s
|
b4mql3
|
{
"description": "not watching my Mom's girlfriend grandchildren",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not watching my Mom's girlfriend grandchildren?
|
AITA for not watching my Mom's girlfriend grandchildren?
​
I live in a house with my mother, her girlfriend, my younger brother and sister, and my mother's girlfriend two kids. We're all over 18 and we all work while we attend school. My mother and I have two dogs from before she began a relationship with her girlfriend.
​
Now, some days I work and have classes and I don't get home until late evening. No one takes care of the dogs while I'm at work or in my classes. I have begged and asked that they take them outside and make sure they have food and water. They say they'll do it and I come home to find that they have eliminated in their crates and they're bowls empty. To sum it up, I'm gone from 7am to 9pm on days I work (At most three days a week) and they leave the dogs in their crates the entire time. I did get into a big argument with my younger siblings and my mother's girlfriend children after I came home one day to find that someone had pushed their crates into closets because they were whining to be let out. I recently got my part time job hours reduced to focus better in my classes and be more available for my dog. Now when I have a long day ahead, I take them to a Dog daycare that I have to pay for since 'I'm just overreacting'.
​
Recently, my mom's girlfriend has taken partial custody of her grandchildren from her other daughter who does not live with us. The grandchildren are 2 and 4. I was asked to watch them since I was at home more often and said no. If they aren't going to watch my dogs while I'm gone, I'm not going to watch your grandchildren/nephews.
​
They've (my mom girlfriend's kids) tried to start having to leave while I'm there to do something and leaving the grandchildren with me thereby leaving me to watch them. I still refused and told them if they have something to do, they need to either take them with them or drop them off at a daycare, because I'm not watching them.
TLDR
I'm not watching your nephews when you locked my dogs in closets for 12+ hours. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
W2Yi45Ddu1aeZVaa1o7avVzspQICr7hA
|
b4aw44
|
{
"description": "leaving my so while he is in prison",
"pronormative_score": 181,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
WIBTA if I left my SO while he is in prison?
|
A bit of context: I have been with my SO for 5 years. I am now 22 and he’s 25.
We got engaged last year. Around the same time, he got sent to prison for getting involved with drugs. He can’t afford a good lawyer, so his sentence ended up to be 10+ years. I was devastated but I knew that I wanted to support him. I told him that I’m going to be there for him no matter what and I’m not going anywhere
Things are changing now. I don’t look forward to speaking to him anymore, he asks for money all the time and I think I may be falling out of love with him. I’m close with his family, and his parents let me know almost daily how lucky he is that he has me. I know it’s going to hurt him and them if I break up with him. I feel extremely guilty about this
Would I be an asshole if I end things with my SO?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 7,
"OTHER": 164,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 17,
"INFO": 5
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 181,
"WRONG": 9
}
|
RIGHT
|
f0fePGgYsh0EcX73S7n3p9mXKWKwXThW
|
aok31g
|
{
"description": "refusing to pay and work on a house we are renting",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for refusing to pay and work on a house we are renting?
|
Two of my roommates have been complaining about it being cold in the house so they wanted to go buy weather stripping, foam sealant and some other stuff to keep the house warmer.
I told them from the start I thought it was dumb to do this for a house we rent, and the fact we will 100% not be living in the same place when the lease is up in Augest. (It is a college house)
To me it was a total waste of time and money. Well, they went ahead and bought it and started ( it looks like hell, it seems like they used way too much foam stuff). Now they are calling me an asshole for not helping them put all the stuff up, even though I have been adamant I'm not going to help or pitch in at all. Am I the asshole here?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
DncDV2rfiYiZF8BloFVXNwJhEKEGq650
|
aceu9u
|
{
"description": "ghosting all my old friends",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for ghosting all my old friends?
|
Broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years about 9 or 10 months ago. She started dating one of my friends 3 months ago. I figured if either of them gave a shit about how I felt they wouldn't do that so I told my former friend I'm done with him and didn't wanna see him again. (Keep in mind he and the rest of my friends were well aware I wanted nothing to do with my ex after the breakup.) Fast forward a few weeks and I decide I wanted to hang out with my other friends so I hit em up and asked if anyone was busy that night. The two I was closest with told me "I have work tomorrow morning, I can't" and "idk I dont think so" so I figured whatever, it's near the holidays and they're probably busy. The next day I go on Instagram and see that they were all together the previous night, with my ex and the kid I no longer want to associate with. Not only did they post pics of all of them together, they posted an old pic of us and tagged me in it as well, despite telling me we weren't going to do anything. The kid who posted it (who up to that point had been my best friend) had explained to me that it was my ex friend and gf's idea to go do something with everyone and they had mentioned it before I said anything. However, they still lied to me about getting together and then tagged me in their group pic on Instagram. After that I decided to just wait and see if anyone would ever actually hit me up to do anything since I had always been the one planning shit for us but lo and behold, I got nothing but snap streaks with blurry pics or half faced morning selfies. I decided to cut all contact with them and hang out with some of my other friends who I hadn't been as close with but still got along with.
Now comes new years eve. I found out the next day that they all had plans together (big surprise) so I just did shit with family and other friends. I dont entirely remember what happened since I was way off my ass, but iirc I snap texted my old best friend "fuck you" and he responded but I didn't open it before he blocked me on everything and it was deleted.
TL;DR - gf of 3 years and I break up, few months goes by and shes now dating one of my friends who I decided wasn't worth my time. Other friends lie to me about being unavailable, hang out with ex gf and friend, then tag me in their group pic on Instagram. I ghosted them all and am now spending more time with other friends who I wasnt as close with previously.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 2
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
SMF2BvZELaV9CNmCqt6iswpSW1cToOPH
|
b79osf
|
{
"description": "making my mom cry because she goes through my spending history",
"pronormative_score": 134,
"contranormative_score": 30
}
|
AITA for making my mom cry because she goes through my spending history?
|
Since Ive had a bank account its been in a joint account with my mom. Growing up this was not a bad idea because if i needed money she could always just put money into my account no problem.
Now im currently 25 and I moved out of the house and to the otherside of the country when I was 21(partially because of my controling parents). Since then I have been self sufficent.
Now its common for my mother to say things such as "I see you're spending more or you're not saving money" as much I usually just shrug it off and say sure okay. Although sometimes she notices things such as our it looks like you were charged extra for whatever expense I have monthly. I can understand she is just looking out for me but, I do look at my out balence history and I know where my money is going.
Today she called me 5 times in a row while I was working just to ask why I had too different car insurance payments within 15 days. I got pissed off because it felt like all she called me for was because she was snooping on my balence history.
I angrily told her that im taking her off the joint account because I cannot stand that she keeps callling me about how im spending my money. She ends up crying and hangs up. AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 18,
"OTHER": 131,
"EVERYBODY": 12,
"NOBODY": 3,
"INFO": 4
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 134,
"WRONG": 30
}
|
RIGHT
|
bu0OArzKNRAWTA4g1tUQlPG2F6cs31SW
|
a6tvp6
| null |
AITA Can a gift be TOO expensive to accept?
|
AITA ... I did something nice for a close family member. In return they bought me a $500 Michael Kors bag I have been eyeing.
I probably should mention that the gifter can easily afford to give this gift without any financial hardship. BUT I also could afford to buy the purse myself (without and financial hardship) and I think spending $500 on a purse is insane!!!
I would do what I did to help out again, without even thinking twice. I also did it out of love. No thank you gift was needed.
Do I accept the gift or ask them to return it?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 9,
"INFO": 1
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
RIKMphDYMHMvhS3l8x8pX53YbJjCcQXE
|
apy8bm
|
{
"description": "telling an old lady she shouldn't be driving & to fuck off after she tried to scold me and hit my car for being on my phone while parked",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling an old lady she shouldn’t be driving & to fuck off after she tried to scold me and hit my car for being on my phone while parked?
|
Today I drove my brother to the convenience store to pull out money, as I parked waiting for my brother I noticed an old lady get out of her vehicle beside me, holding a cane to walk as she went into the store. I started browsing my phone while waiting for my brother and the lady came out of the store before him, knocking on my driver side window and telling me I
“Shouldn’t be using those little machines while driving.” Also adding “You could kill someone.”
I simply said “I know, that is why I am using my phone while parked, I do not use my phone while driving.”
She then continued trying to scold me, at this point I told her I don’t believe she should be driving while she’s as old as she is. I told her she has impaired vision, bad reflexes, and weak muscles to even move/react. I pointed out that she is using a cane as well. The lady then hit the hood of my car twice with her cane (didn’t leave any marks) and said that she was going to call the police. I told her to fuck off, and she went to her car just as my brother came back. I just left and told him the story as I drove.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 5,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
RIGHT
|
k70XFF35z0EZMA7w4jQDCcHrfkumcy6N
|
agv4mt
|
{
"description": "flipping out at a coworker",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for flipping out at a coworker
|
Hey all,
So today at work there was a bit of an incident. I was working with some coworkers on a project, when one of them who had previously left the room sneaked up behind me and attempted to make me lose balance by pushing in the back of my knees. I stumbled a bit as I was extremely startled, but once I regained my composure I asked him "What the fuck?" a small argument ensued ("Dude chill out" "No, don't do shit like that, it's not cool") and eventually I ended up leaving the room. We haven't spoken about it since, though we continued to work on the project amicably afterwards.
My relationship with him is friendly, but I wouldn't say we're friends. He's played other pranks before that I don't mind but I feel like doing one where he touched me, startled me and could have easily injured me was taking it too far.
What I want to know is was I justified in my frustration or was I an asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
1hs0VYrcrsts0JJ0NztzrK1FEJrKt2fS
|
aiuni6
|
{
"description": "telling my parents off",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA for telling my parents off?
|
tl;dr My kid is sick and rather than being available to watch my other kid while we go to the doctor, my parents intend to watch my sister's kids while she puts down her horse and/or takes a recreational trip.
​
My wife and I have 2 kids, 1 and 3. The three year old had a cold and croupy cough over the last week, which culminated in him losing consciousness twice. We went to the ER, emergency stuffs checks out OK, but recommend following up with regular pediatrician. Regular pediatrician recommends visiting with a specialist in a bigger hospital about two hours away, and while not an emergency it should be sooner rather than later.
​
When I get this news, I call my parents asking if they could babysit the one year old for two days, as the appointment may be earlier in the day (we'll get a call with the next available appointment, and we better damn well take it) requiring an overnight or 5 am departure. Chances are it will be next week sometime. I'd really like for both my wife and I to be in the room and paying attention to what the doctor is saying, rather than one of us out walking around with the one-year-old or having her in there distracting us
​
Their response is that they've already said they would babysit my sister's kids next week. One day my sister and her husband have a pre-planned trip to a different regional big city. Another two days (they don't know which yet), my sister will be putting down her horse. They don't know when that will be, but assuming my sister's horse euthanasia isn't scheduled within a day and isn't the other day they're sitting, yeah they can watch my other kid. 2/5 chance. They'll let me know when that is and they'll be available...
​
I just really can't believe what I'm hearing, and let the conversation dwindle eventually just hanging up without saying goodbye. They've called a few times since then, but the voicemails are only about logistics. The horse is being put down this-and-this day, so they're unavailable then.
​
In their defense, our family was pretty attached to pets growning up. Also, my folks were over at our place twice last week taking care of the three year old while he was coughing so bad we didn't want to send him to daycare. They told my sister they would watch her kids first, whatever day that was she needed them. Also, I do have my wife's folks and her aunt as possible babysitters we haven't even asked yet (however, she also has her husband's mom and her husband's brother and sister-in-law as well).
​
But, it's a fucking horse. My sister can deal. She'll need a sitter, what, for an hour? My kid, while unlikely, might have something seriously or life-threateningly wrong. In addition to the childcare, I could really use some emotional support right now. I feel the relatively-rural upper-midwest pressure to be a strong head of household, but I'm really fucking scared. What does my sister need the support for? The horse should have been put down three years ago.
​
I've thought about replying to texts or calls wondering about how the three-year-old is with questions about whether or not they were done worrying about the dead horse - obviously they need to deal with that first. That's just too passive-aggressive for me.
​
If I were to call them up, tell them that I thought it was incredibly shitty they were prioritizing my sister's dying horse over my son's serious (but likely minor) medical concern, would I be the asshole?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
QQFcDMnTYeHSDD86cr7GTpLzajq6wApm
|
aszcjj
|
{
"description": "yelling at my teacher for complaining about social media and young people",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for yelling at my teacher for complaining about social media and young people?
|
My teacher today during class was listening to a conversation I was having with my friend. We were talking about Instagram and who we follow and the teacher comes up and says that following people is douchy and stalkerish. My friend and I explain we follow people to look at posts we enjoy and to see what other people are up too. He says that weird and we should only follow our friends and not “famous people” and other people’s accounts. I start to get heated and I tell the teacher that he should just let us kids do what we want to do and he should judge us about everything. I leave the argument and he then keeps on telling my friend that following people on Instagram shows that we don’t have our own life and are obsessed with other people and their lives. I don’t join but I was so infuriated that the teacher always has to say something no matter what. So what do you guys think AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
sXRDj69HgAqYHsKv6VNY3N6li71YSX8W
|
b2ld8y
|
{
"description": "yelling at my older cousin because of his autistic son",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 9
}
|
AITA for yelling at my older cousin because of his autistic son?
|
So my older cousin has a SLIGHTLY (borderline debatably) autistic son who I’ve sort of grew up with and been around a majority of my life.
This kid is obsessed with me.
I used to be heavier (246) and for the past year and a half I’ve been dieting and promoting a more healthy lifestyle (down 75 pounds, go me!)
And whaddya know, David, being a fat kid his whole life has been dieting this past 8 months and has lost weight too. Now listen, I’m glad I can inspire the kid but I know this is just to copy me.
I post a gym selfie, he post one.
I post food, he post food.
Now when we were kids David would often imitate me and sort of look up to me, but he’s also always sort of been an asshole at times. Often I would excuse it but other times he would get to under my skin.
Anywho, enough of the background story:
So the other day David calls me up and curses me left and right, claiming I stopped some girl he liked from going out with him by pursuing her too. Now to be honest, I had no idea he had any real attention of going out with her, and I obviously knew she wasn’t going to be interested in David. So I got pissed and I hung up the phone. I decided to call his dad and tell him it’s not right that his son calls me, someone who is a good friend to him and let’s him ride my coat tails and practically copy my every move and curse me, and that his son needs to realize he can’t get the same quality of women as me and he needs to lower his standards.
His dad just seemed confused and said “I don’t know what to say, I’m sorry David cursed you.”
My other cousin says I’m wrong and it was unnecessary to call his dad, AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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AUTHOR
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|
WRONG
|
fDcPRCbeoHxe6KZ78KX8rpHBOiV0yJJo
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b06o8o
| null |
WIBTA is I recorded the conversations I have with my manager?
|
The manager at my work is an asshole. He is incompetent, misuses his power, sit at his desk all day and is the person who acts friendly in your face but talks shit about you in the back.
Although opinion widely shared throughout the company, it’s still my opinion. That have being said.
One times a employee wants to quit so he gave him a one month notice (common here), all according to the rules.
He wants him to stay longer because of his position and there wasn’t a replacement ride away. The employee is in his right to say no because he wants to start at is new job.
The manager then threats to give him an bad review to his future employer.
Because this conversation was private and the employee has no prove he has to agree with his demanding.
Knowing the person he is I want to secretly record the future conversation i have with him. Just in case. WIBTA?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
jnkkb5NWhw2sQoAOMhu26VtsY1aNux8B
|
amuisn
|
{
"description": "not wanting to spend time or talk to my best friend because of his dating habits",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not wanting to spend time or talk to my best friend because of his dating habits?
|
My best friend has seen me through so much and I’ve been there for him as much as he allows anyone to be. Except the difference being I’ve grown and matured through my experiences and am working on bettering myself. Im not where near done or perfect but I keep trying. He on the other hands keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. Never listening to anyone about how to make some changes to prevent the system from repeating. He refuses to make changes because it doesn’t stick. He’d rather ignore all the issues.
He’s started dating again, which is great. He wants to build a family and be in a relationship. He’s wanted this for a while now but the last dozen girls he dated have been mentally unstable or he’s fucked with their heads too much. Me and his other best friend have talked to him about his dating patterns and his behaviours but it doesn’t faze him.
I’m at a point that I don’t want to talk to my best friend about his dating life anymore. I’m fed up with it. He ignores all advice and jumps head first in with girls before they even have their first date. Then gets hurt when they don’t feel the same. Or when they ghost. Or when they turn out to be mentally unstable because they jumped in just as he did and hurt him. Or he hurts them.
I’m tired of trying to talk to him and talk him down from his major depressive episodes when they don’t work out. I get wanting a relationship and a family. He’s just doing clingy and cringe worthy things that he didn’t used to do when he was younger. It’s like he’s getting more desperate and less open to any advice or common sense. He is a good guy and a great friend when he’s not so focused on thinking with his male member.
So I’ve kind of been avoiding him some, he’s starting to notice. It’s honestly because his actions dating and changes to his personality to fit each new girl. That I’ve stopped caring about the girls names or information about them because they come and go so frequently. That he changes or cancels plans made in advance to spend time with the new girls who only last 1-5 dates or at most 3 months.
My last straw was talking him down from tears there nights ago because this girl who he thought was amazing didn’t like the fact that he had dated a friend of hers. She found out after their date and he didn’t see the issue but did some super cringe worthy things to get her to stay and date him. Then I find out today he’s already moved on to a new girl who’s about to have date number three with him in a time span of last night to tonight.
I know how this is going to end. I just don’t want to be involved. I want no part of this shit show and hope I’m wrong but given his track record and the behavior the both display I’m betting this ends about the same as his last one or worse. It’s shitty seeing him hurt but not making changes to stop the cycle.
So AITA for limiting my time with my best friend over his dating habits?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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RIGHT
|
29ZdEjR1HMkBexPqulNY3kdCwUKNjNs8
|
b4qv9e
|
{
"description": "getting pissed the neighbors allow their kids to play in my yard",
"pronormative_score": 11,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting pissed the neighbors allow their kids to play in my yard?
|
AITA for getting pissed that my neighbors 2 doors down (we live in an unfenced townhouse complex) allow their toddler to play in my backyard while they are in theirs 2 doors down? To elaborate, I have 3 kids. Ages 2, 3 and 11. I also provide weekday care for 2 other kids. My yard has a ton of toys including ride ons, a climber and a bretty big spot to dig in. Now I don't mind if kids come to play but for some reason it drives me nuts when it happens when I'm not outside with my kids. My kids stand at the window asking why this kid who is only 1.5 is playing with their toys. This family does have toys of their own and little guy doesn't understand that ours aren't his so I try to just let it go and be ok with it but I cant get over how I feel it is disrespectful. I never allow my kids to play with others toys without permission. I'm raising my kids to respect others property and living space and if we aren't invited, we wait till we are. I just had their little guy outback playing with a toy while dad is bbqing so I offered for them to bring it to their place so little guy could stay near them. I looked out the door a few min later to see dad pushing his boy down the street with our toy. I didn't give permission to take it and run it up and down the street as fast as he could without his son getting hurt. They then returned it like he said he would and took the wagon without asking..... like seriously!?!?! Just because I have a fun yard does not mean it's for the neighborhood kids to grab what they want....
I also feel that I should explain that these people have 2 other kids around 4 and 7. These kids are spoiled rotten and unsupervised all the time in the complex. 4 yr old has been running around the parking lot unsupervised for 2 yrs. They break anything I see them outside with (normally only their things or abandoned toys) and throw around the attitude like it's nothing. Their daughter is sly and always trying to make herself out to be better than my daughters. Their oldest son no longer comes around cause I've set him straight in my yard so many times for roughhousing with the little ones and I've had to send their daughter home on multiple occasions. Now I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt and try to be the nice guy so this is really eating at me... so.... AITA for getting pissed that my neighbors allow their toddler to play in my yard when I'm not outside? I don't know if I should pursue with contacting management or just sluff it off cause it's not the kids fault...
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
oFM0etmSPAvlc3aL1nMVeXLVuVB140Ik
|
a44txw
|
{
"description": "reporting my neighbors",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for reporting my neighbors?
|
Parents, I want your opinion especially -
I have lived in apartments pretty much my whole life and I was always taught to be respectful of downstairs neighbors. Mind you my dad wasn't the best example of parenting in the world, but he always told me to stop running or stomping or jumping or playing my music too loud if he knew it would bother our neighbors. He always told me that it was the price of living in an apartment and not a house - that you had neighbors to be considerate of and that outside was the place to be loud and play loudly.
My upstairs neighbors are a family that consists of a dad, an older son, and two little girls. If there is a mom, I've never seen her. Dad is gone most of the day working so it seems like older brother is the one in charge of watching them... but honestly I have no idea because I've never spoken to them so I could be 100% wrong about their situation. Anyway, the little girls are LOUD. Like I've never had neighbors be so loud in an apartment complex. They run around all day, I can hear them screaming and jumping and stomping.
I've complained to the landlords once and they were given a warning notice, basically just a polite "please stop". I know complaining too many times could get them in trouble and risk eviction. Part of me is like - not my problem, they should just be respectful to their neighbors... but the other part of me is like - dang it's a single dad doing his best to work and raise his kids and I don't want to be responsible for him ending up on the streets or something.
I'm writing this because I am registered to start school again in a couple weeks and I just started a new job working from home. Not to mention I recently adopted a dog with anxiety, and the other day the dad yelled "bad dog" so loud at his own dog that it scared mine. All of this means I'll be home a lot more and needing to use this space to study and focus. It also means that I need an environment with a normal level of noise for my pup, and this is not a normal level of noise.
When I reached out to my landlords the first time, they told me to let them know if the problem continues. Well the problem has definitely continued, so earlier today I sent out another complaint email, but I can't help but feel a little guilty. Am I being too hard on myself or AITA for not letting kids be kids?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
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|
RIGHT
|
7XmA279ehlmAhk1plEq928bfwBIvSE40
|
agzci6
|
{
"description": "yelling at my cheating mom",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for yelling at my cheating mom?
|
As a preface, my mother hasn't been the best parent for basically my entire life. My grandparents have had to step in to help and take care of us. A little over 10 years ago, she married a quiet guy with my sense of humor. Recently, I found out she's been cheating on him for a while from my grandma. We're a pretty religious family, so my mom doing this, not going to church, and just being mentally screwed made her the black sheep.
I confronted her about it and she just told me to mind my business and that her happiness is what's best. It's clear that she isn't trying to make her marriage work and my stepdad doesn't want a divorce since he's Catholic. Today, my mom called her boyfriend with me and the car and I got really mad and started yelling and insulting them.
Am I the asshole for caring too much about my morals and not letting my mom do her own thing?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
6P3pWACrNu2iY8K1BN7H2pmPEHDhOjzf
|
9tqbqe
|
{
"description": "reporting my cousin and her husband for identity theft",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA For reporting my cousin and her husband for identity theft
|
Over the last few years I have had a lot of family deaths and met a lot of family at funerals I haven't seen in a long time.
One of them was my cousin. A college student recently married.
The man she married is a person who came to the US on a visa to go to school, when he finished school he decided he didn't want to leave, and convinced my cousin to marry him so he could have an easier time becoming a citizen.
They did not date before this, they do not have a relationship now, and after 2 years he has made no forward effort to become a legal citizen.
Now I wouldn't care if not for one detail my Dad and Aunt talked about with my brothers and I in the room.
The man my cousin married has purchased a stolen Social security number and is using it to work. So some person out there is probably have a hell of a time with the IRS right now.
Am I the asshole for getting upset about this? My dad offered (apparently) to play the big bad mean uncle and report him before they got married so that my aunt wouldn't have to worry about my cousin getting charged if he was caught, and says he won't do it now because she is family.
I have no such convictions, I've met this cousin maybe twice in my 20+ years of life, and what I know of her and him, and what I've experienced talking to both of them, is that they are not the nicest of people, and all I can think about is how right now, there might be some grandma, or some teenager with his first job, or some parent struggling out there because of his identity theft.
The odds of him being charged I think would be pretty high, and probably the same with my cousin (Accessory?)
So, Would I Be The Asshole for reporting the both of them?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
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OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
4lp7PVi5qqyvNPm5RDtQ1Iywmuule1DG
|
apczku
|
{
"description": "telling my sister she shouldn't yell at my niece so much",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 7
}
|
AITA for telling my sister she shouldn't yell at my niece so much?
|
So I was on the phone with my sister just a little bit ago talking about whatever and in the background I hear my niece who is \~2 years old. She's obviously playing and exploring like kids do, but I hear my sister scold her a few times for walking on furniture and being loud in general because she's a kid and they do that, it's a part of growing up and childhood. But after a few times of scolding her it intenses a bit and she yells at her like she was disciplining her like one would a dog for getting into something they shouldn't. She puts the phone down or something and I hear her yelling at her more and spanking ensues because I guess my niece was walking on the arm of a rocking armchair with a possibility of falling off and cracking her skull. Of course I understand that it's not safe for my niece to be doing that and if she was repeating doing what she wasn't supposed to do after her mom told her not to, spanking makes sense and some firm words. But they yelling, it sounds so harsh and I worry that it'll affect my niece in the future and cause her to yell at my sister and maybe other people because she thinks it's okay and that's how you do things.
When she got back to the phone she explained what my niece was doing and I suggested that maybe she shouldn't yell at her so much. Silence ensued and then she said "wooooow, really?" and then she said some other things along the line that she is her mom and then pointed out that I don't even have kids. I responded by saying I don't think I need to have kids to know that yelling can't be too good in a situation like that and maybe she could have just talked to her in a sterner voice than before. She said again that my niece is her daughter and she will raise her how she thinks, then proceeded to say that she needed to go do something. I'm pretty frustrated at this point and I just say bye, trying to keep it cool and not seem like I'm upset at her.
I don't want this to end super bad because she's actually supposed to come visit me next month for a week and I don't want it to be super awkward. She's far away living back in my home state while I'm away for college, and it's always nice to see my family.
So, am I the asshole for suggesting to my sister that maybe she shouldn't yell at my niece too much? Am I butting into something that maybe isn't my business?
|
HISTORICAL
|
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|
AUTHOR
|
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|
WRONG
|
fLHo5ojWxBRP31mCfmP4TTssTeclVL9E
|
aeo1z8
|
{
"description": "asking to get paid",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA for asking to get paid?
|
So recently the I posted here that my father and I had a pretty significant fight. We have since talked a lot and come to compromises.
The issue here is he now wants me to come work with him. I wouldn't mind, but I'm working a full 19 credit hour schedule, and I'm planning on working 30 paid hours a week.
The goal is that if these compromises don't last, I'm not out on the street with nothing. That being said, WIBTA for asking him to pay me? The way I understand it, he basically wants me around as an unpaid intern to pick up some pretty basic skills. I would only be asking for minimum wage if I did go to work with him.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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|
OTHER
|
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|
RIGHT
|
q7MUU16UzyT191JfVOuO8QkXfZpaPxH2
|
b4u6gn
|
{
"description": "dating 2 people at once without telling them",
"pronormative_score": 0,
"contranormative_score": 11
}
|
WIBTA if I date 2 people at once without telling them?
|
My ‘boyfriend’ and I have had a turbulent relationship. When we first started dating, he told me he was broken up with his ex but still friends. Except he was so paranoid about her finding out about me which I found strange. We’ve been together for 4 years and throughout this time I’ve found out that he was in fact cheating on (us both I guess) and still to this day tries to send her messages telling her how much he loves and misses her. This has broken me. I can ever trust him again, and I don’t want to be with him. He has abused me emotionally and sometimes physically. We have broken up too many times to count. Despite this, I still love him and care for him deeply. I don’t want him gone from my life but I also don’t want to be in a relationship with him. Now we are at the point where I’m stronger and I’ve told him if he wants to see me, he’s going to have to work for it. He still thinks I’m his partner but to me, I never will be. I also have a crush on another guy, he seems to like me too. If anything happens between us, I don’t want to tell him about my current ‘bf’ because I figure what he doesn’t know won’t hurt. If it’s just casual dating do they really need to know? I don’t want to use this guy, but I also don’t want to put all my eggs in one basket, and I don’t want to scare people away with all this drama... WIBTA if I didn’t tell them about each other?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
5xk7Fwuw8KCI7FNKG8ogrqGtQcMiaGbt
|
b1dud9
|
{
"description": "talking to asiatic people in english",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
WIBTA If I talked to asiatic people in english?
|
A friend of mine is Vietnamese, and he complains that people tend talk to him in english (we're in a french/german speaking country) because he is asiatic. There seems to be a cliché that asiatic people are tourists and don't understand French or German. WIBTA if I used english by default with asiatic people?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
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}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
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|
WRONG
|
ynnSviLfyMnCshZA736jmnHSMrErWza5
|
b4crib
|
{
"description": "refusing to buy my friend a new ball",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for refusing to buy my friend a new ball?
|
This story is gonna sound pretty childish so let me give you guys some backstory.
I have a friend, let's call him Chris. Okay so Chris and I are both sophomores in college attending our local community college in Northern California. (go Kings!) We have been friends since 8th grade and are both in a friend group that formed our freshman year of high school with 10 other guys. As we all graduated Chris, myself, and 3 other friends stayed and went to our community college, the other 7 went to Universities elsewhere.
Throughout high school we all played basketball against each other at a park near my parents house (I now rent an apartment with 2 of my other friends who stayed back) and this past Wednesday two of our friends came back a few days early for spring break and Chris, myself, my 2 roommates, and the 2 that came back early decided to play at the park for old times sake. We used to use the ball at my house during high school but all my balls were so used and lumpy that they became unusable. Chris brought his ball that despite having a lump in it but it wasn't as bad as my old ones. We are all very competitive and during our last game I got frustrated after losing a close game and slammed the ball on the ground. The lump on the ball got a little bigger (still not as bad as my old balls) and Chris got really upset and wanted me to give him money for a new ball or buy one for him. I told him I wasn't going to buy him a new ball and he got upset at me and I gave him 4 reasons why I wasn't going to.
1. There was already a lump
2. Back in high school and freshman year of college all of my friends, including him slammed my basketballs and messed with them and I never made them buy me a new one
3. He bought it at Walmart for $14.99 in October (I was there when he bought it)
4. He still owed me $10 from a separate matter
He got angry and demanded I buy him a ball or venmo him $15 for a new ball. I told him I was sorry and it dumb of me to slam the ball but that shouldn't warrant me giving him money for a ball that already had a lump and was not very nice to begin with. I offered to just call it even on the basis that he owed me anyway but when I brought up the money he completely denied owing me anything.(I got my friends to back me up that he owed me) I thought of it as a stupid argument and went back to the apartment. He has refused to talk to me since and even though I apologized and it is only $15 I feel like he is acting selfish. I offered to call it even on the money he owed me but he didn't accept it. AITAH for not giving him money for messing his basketball up a bit or is he overreacting? I know this a completely childish and silly post but here I am posting it anyway.
​
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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|
RIGHT
|
Wikv9YEMdR6S59A3g5flVxoLlgG29dKO
|
av625z
|
{
"description": "asking for a prenup to protect my assets",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking for a prenup to protect my assets
|
This was seversl years ago but brought up by friends because my ex is apparently still mentioning it to mutual friends.
I was seriouscwith her to the point of talking marriage. No date was set but we were looking at keast 18 months to two years in the future. She wanted a big wedding and time to save money was needed.
Now here's where it gets sticky. A terminally ill relative decided to let us in on their will. There was enough reserved for me to pay for a house and leave a good bit left over. At this point I realized while I wouldn't be wealthy I did need some protection. So I asked ger to sit down and tried to lay out that I wanted a prenup specifically to protect this large inheritance that was coming my way. I wanted it to include the money and the hime I was to purchase free and clear with it (stipulation of the will was that I was to purchase a home rather than continue apartment living or I didn't get it). I explained I would pay for taxes and home upkeep and we'd only need to split utilities. She cried a bit with a whole "you don't trust me" spiel followed by a "this is OUR money not just yours" and me being called selfish among other things, even though it was my relative and being left to me directly. After she had her say I told her that I doubted I could marry her if she couldn't sign so we should break up.
My friends are split mostly along gendered lines. Guys sided with me while the girls went with her side.
Was I wrong to attempt to carve out a large inheritance to be mine alone?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
KQACVkrfckKKsrD3F33ggxRu11jq2TAo
|
9z2ldr
|
{
"description": "being not sure I can be friends with a girl I like anymore",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA - I’m not sure I can be friends with a girl I like anymore
|
This girl started working at the same place as me and for some reason we got very close very quickly, staying out until 7am together (we work in a bar so our work finishes at 5) just talking, eventually we start meeting out of work, she comes to my house and I go to hers, I sleep over a few times and we cuddle and watch films. The only issue is that she has a boyfriend (normally I get this would be enough to make me the asshole but I don’t feel any guilt for this because her boyfriend has done terrible things to her that I don’t want to repeat online), I tell her that she should probably leave him because of what he’s done but she insists she loves him and that he’s changed - yesterday we had a conversation where we both admitted that we had feeling for each others and that this was just the wrong time to meet. She’s decided she wants to stay with her boyfriend, so am I the asshole for not wanting to be super close with her anymore and just see her at work because it would suck to see her with him?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
6i1zGnADFfIMhBKPCMnSjzuF9iLsyh7M
|
b4ba7x
|
{
"description": "telling my sister that she'll regret going back to work",
"pronormative_score": 14,
"contranormative_score": 83
}
|
AITA for telling my sister that she'll regret going back to work
|
My little sister and I have been close for our entire lives, and I have tried to give her guidance and advice where I can. In this situation, I have 2 children that I stayed home with for the first year of each of their lives, and I'm grateful that I had a job that gave me the ability to do so. My sister and her husband also have this ability financially.
However, my sister had her child only 4 weeks ago and has decided to put the baby in daycare at the 6 week mark and go back to work. I sat down with her and tried to explain the feeling of watching your child grow, the joy of seeing them meet milestones, and how fulfilling the experience is. I asked her how she will be able to handle knowing that her child will take her first steps and say her first word away from her, with people who are essentially strangers. On top of that, there's always a risk to handing a delicate infant off to others instead of doing the work yourself and knowing it is done right.
My sister did not receive my advice well. She more or less told me to butt out and said I was condescending. I don't think there's anything condescending about sharing my views, since I know she will regret giving up this time with her child for a job. If I had it my way, every parent would be able to stay home with their kids, but since someone has to work, she should take full advantage of the fact that her husband is willing and able to support her while she cares for the baby. AITA for giving my advice?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 83,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 14,
"WRONG": 83
}
|
WRONG
|
vY6wFwkKM3Qp9pR0trEOplLKz2du0DU0
|
a0m63c
|
{
"description": "chewing out my friend/coworker for calling my work ethic into question",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA: For chewing out my friend/coworker for calling my work ethic into question?
|
Some History:
So about a month ago, I was promoted to Night Shift Team Lead at a distributing company I work for. My coworker who I became good friends with while working here also interviewed for the position. He did *not* get the position, but I did. I NJ had voiced concern over there being hard feelings in a situation like this, but he assured me that wouldn't be the case. It most definitely *was* the case. He was an asshole for a solid week after the fact, but then finally realized himself and apologized for his behavior. Fast forward to the week of Thanksgiving when we were performing a warehouse wide inventory. Everyone was divided into 3 teams with a "Point Man" directing each team. I split "Point Man" duties with the current night shift manager as a part of my ongoing training, but my name wasnt explicitly announced during the dividing of teams, so my friend was under the impression that I was just another counter, and not a director. For three days, he would walk by and make snide comments, along the lines of "boy, you're working awful hard" and the like. Finally, about day 3 of inventory, I finally snapped and ask what his problem was, and he told me I had been goofing off instead of counting, when I told him that it was never my job to count, it was my job to delegate and direct with my night shift manager. He stated that since my name wasnt explicitly announced, that wasnt the case. So he flat out called me a liar, while also calling my work ethic into question, and that pissed me off. I chewed him out good, and told him I did exactly what my job was, that what I did at work was none of his business to begin with, and that I'm tired of his saltiness towards me since my promotion. Stated that I valued our friendship but that I'm tired of him always seeming to find reasons to hold me with contempt since my promotion and that if he wanted to destroy out friendship, then that's on him. He hasn't spoken to me in over a week.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
SUN6y1OcH5v85lfE3ygs0Q5mmznzvftJ
|
b7ewvz
|
{
"description": "being upset that my husband likes to spend all his money gambling",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being upset that my husband likes to spend all his money gambling?
|
I am not sure if this is where this goes but as the title says.
AITA for thinking it’s wrong that every cent he has goes to gambling? (It goes into the hundreds of dollars per paycheck).
No matter what financial situation we are in and also no matter what we may need for children, household, bills etc?
Although he does pay all the major bills first.
As a stay at home mom I have been made to feel I have no right to say otherwise.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
VDIet64LWQh2fYtutnU2rnhhasTM5ObS
|
b4sqkv
|
{
"description": "telling a guy I like him a lot and then start talking to another guy",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 6
}
|
AITA for telling a guy I like him a lot and then start talking to another guy
|
So I'm in high school and i don't really date around much. I ended up talking to this guy I went to middle school with, and when highschool came, he moved to another school in the area. One night we were talking and out of no where I told him I kinda like. it's been about three months now and we're still in the "talking stage." I feel like our conversations our just getting to be the same thing every day and it gets pretty boring. Then this other guy is good friends with one of my best friends has started talking to me more, and not really in a "just friends" type of way and i keep it going a little bit. AITA for doing so?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 6,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 6
}
|
WRONG
|
7qcks0X5uaFpGWmN3eajJdIUx8B6nDhD
|
aom2bt
|
{
"description": "saying no to living with a stranger for 2 months",
"pronormative_score": 5,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for saying no to living with a stranger for 2 months?
|
I work at a big accounting firm in auditing, so my job involves a bit of travelling. This means hotels, and we are responsible for booking them so long as the price is within company policy which is fine.
​
However, I was told on Monday I would be going to a city over 1,000 miles away for 2 months. Not ideal, but we can expense flights home at the weekend which is fine.
​
Now the real problem starts. I was told that I would not be in charge of my own accommodation and expensing it, instead it would be handled by the local office. As it turns out, this means a shared apartment with a complete stranger from another office for 2 months. I have never even spoken to this person, and now I am being expected to live with them for 2 months in a shared apartment.
​
Now, I live on my own and have done for 3 years and I like it that way. AITA for saying to my boss that this is unacceptable and I don't want to live with a complete stranger? My boss pulled the whole "you can come back at weekends" thing, but the client is enormous and I know fine well that means we will be working weekends so that simply isn't happening.
​
My point is that I did not ask for this trip, was not consulted about it, and am being landed in a shit situation that I do not want to be in. Now, before I push back harder, am I being unreasonable?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 5,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0Ny7pVR9upTlQThDftPYOKW1rHXo4m5C
|
b8izip
|
{
"description": "being mad at my aunt",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being mad at my aunt?
|
Back in January I got hired at a local Chick-fil-A, but got let go after about 10 days. My initial contract stated that during my first 30 days I could be let go at any time if they felt I wasn't the right "fit".
Probably worth mentioning that I have Asperger's, so while I picked up on the technical skills like the POS near instantly, I had a tendency to trip over my words and just be generally a bit awkward when dealing with customers. And Chick-fil-A tends to prioritize your people skills over your technical skills. But that's not the issue here.
So I'm let go, I'm a little bummed cause I have a history of struggling to get hired anywhere and a little annoyed to have to start the job-finding process over again. But whatever. I did manage to find a work study job at my school's campus ID center.
My parents come down to my college for a weekend in February, the weekend after I'd just been let go. Have a pretty good time until mom brings up that my aunt (dad's side) had apparently CALLED CORPORATE about me getting fired and went off on the owner of the Chick-fil-A I worked at. My face immediately drops and my head is in my hands.
Like the rational human being I am, my plan after getting let go was to just lay low for a bit and then maybe go back as a customer in a few months, as I do genuinely love their food. But now I'm not sure I can step foot in there ever again. She has since apologized, but I'm still afraid to go back and mad for getting involved when it wasn't her place.
Am I the asshole for still being mad?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
YynGTe2l0MJpuBXcpujcZsFPJxYRswiR
|
abq81e
|
{
"description": "asking my roommate not to pick his nose",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for asking my roommate not to pick his nose?
|
I’m a university freshman and my roommate picks his nose, about half the time he throws whatever he picks out in the trash and half the time (when he thinks I’m not looking) just flicks it away. But he never washes his hands after. I asked him if he could use a tissue, or at the very least wash his hands when he was done. He replied by telling me “Oh come on, get off your high horse” and “Sorry I’m not up to your standards”.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
1Ot3kOaDxt9er3qzklidAqmAxVeeLVwm
|
a3hjca
|
{
"description": "having my 13 year old brother sell merchandise for me",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I had my 13 year old brother sell merchandise for me?
|
I run a YouTube channel with a couple thousand subscribers, and I decided to start making shirts and other merchandise. My little brother loves the channel, and apparently so do his friends. I was already planning on employing my friend to sell shirts in person with commision. My brother wants in too. I set up all the paperwork that he'd need to keep track of things, then I got a feeling that this might be unethical. Just because I'd do things a little proffesionally, with paperwork and referrals and whatnot.
TL;DR: Is it unethical to employ a 13 year old boy to make sales for my business?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
hTHKRsKYlXFfbNHHF8AtQj6D1UBPTvvz
|
ae0slc
|
{
"description": "refusing to be adopted by my stepfather",
"pronormative_score": 13,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA if I refuse to be adopted by my stepfather?
|
I am the 19 year old only child of a single mother, who was very young when she got pregnant. She has never been specially interested or caring about me, and left me with my grandparents (her parents) so that they would rise me.
My father never really cared about me. However, he must pay child support (because of a law), money that i directly receive and use for college expenses, etc...
6 years ago, my mom met this man she loves and married him. He has always tried to be my father figure, or something like that. They both hate my biological father and, as you read in the title, my step father wants to legally make me his son, and to change my surname to his. This implies that I would have to give away the child support monthly money deposits.
We live in the same house and i have to decide within a year if i change my surname. Personally, I couldn't care less about feelings or relationships.
So, is it selfish to prefeer having money that i otherwise wouldn't receive over an "official" relationship?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 12,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 13,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
7ClluIofcp4LPw0jZ99KogUX9P5jMbFd
|
axw7ys
|
{
"description": "kicking people out of my life out of nowhere",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA For kicking people out of my life out of nowhere?
|
So, long story short: Lately I've been cutting contact completely with a lot of people, friends, close friends, etc. I keep questioning myself if I am being a bad person but sadly it's been a long time since I was this happy. It's like I am in the middle of a period of time where I keep on reflecting about my life and I am just now realizing that a lot of my so called friends just kept on taking advantage of me and using me for their own advantage. Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jAhCpsntIvbzCD6iaKRqwoCykuEpD3Q2
|
aml56d
|
{
"description": "continuing a friendship with whom I dislike, even though they believe we're close",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for continuing a friendship with whom I dislike, even though they believe we’re close
|
So we’ve known each other for around 3 years, and we only started talking because of mutual friends. She gets quite annoyed when she sees arguments around her and quite often adds fuel to the fire, cries, and then proceeds to storms off (a wee hypocritical); at the start I would go after her, comfort her etc. because I don’t want her to be feeling like shit... but now I just feel like a fucking life jacket that she uses to consolidate herself. Normally, I don’t mind people ranting to me, blowing stuff off their chest — I actually prefer that than people suffering quietly — but when we talk, it either her being ranting about bullshit to me, talking about that one fucking anime she watches, or just talking about how she’s part Italian and that her house flooded! I feel like that’s as far as the conversation goes, as much as I’ve tried to steer it the other way.
I feel bad for thinking that she’s faking being depressed or having anxiety problems, but honestly it’s really fucking tiring when I feel like there’s no value to our friendship. For example, she’s told me that she’s thought about killing herself a few years ago over friends arguing (I mean, 12 year old girls hitching at school, I not sure that’s something anyone would take their own life over), she’ll talk about how pointless relationships are and act edgy when the “popular” girls are around, saying that sarcasm is what made her have trust issues (I mean, there was a point where she said that I have earned her trust, like, oh, how privileged I am to be HER friend). One think that really ticks me off is when she saying she has problems with talking to large groups, but is still able to chat to people halfway across the class and talk very openly when doing class presentations when I goddamn fucking knows that it is something that I had/having issues with.
But yet I still remain friends with her, I consider her a friend. Why? I feel guilty about leading her on when I know I dislike being around her. It’s harsh. If she does actually have mental problems, I don’t want her to be alone. She’ll high five me, and can be funny at times. I realise that I might be being too rational and/or dense about the friendship we have, and I’m just not seeing it in the right light at the moment. I should step up and make an effort to have a better friendship but I don’t even know if I want to.
In conclusion: Am I an asshole for leading a friend on that I don’t enjoy being around? Judge me with all your might! I realise that this is a very one-sided account. Sorry.
If had read this, for replied, cheers. Sorry if there’s odd formatting. I feel like this whole post is just me bitching lmao
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
HMCkPhuC6b0dIuqUy9NUv8hB3d9ZpAuF
|
a0bt29
|
{
"description": "wanting to go abroad alone",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for wanting to go abroad alone
|
First of I made a throw away Reddit account for this post as my partner checks my social media ( not in a creepy possessive way but because some times I upload picture of my pet that I don't send to her because she likes to see how cute he is, as they call it Reddit exclusive posts)
I'm M 24 they're F 21 and we have been dating 2, coming up on 3 years
Basically the story is that I'm hoping that after I finish my studies I would like to go on a trip to Japan or perhaps Indochina, now I've already been to Japan about two years ago and I went on my own this time as I would be next time.
The funds wouldn't be an issue for me to drop on this new trip but because they also want to go to Japan they want to go with me instead of me going on my own. now while I have no problem with them coming with me at all in fact the company would be nice. The problem is that she can not afford to go on this trip with me so this is the main reason I want to go alone as I can always go back another time with her as I will more then likely be able to afford the trip again in the future. ( I cant afford to buy tickets and spending money for two people however nor would she accept me to pay for her share of the trip)
My thinking is it isn't a big deal for me to do something she wants to do on my own as it an opportunity for me to have a trip that and its unfair on me to miss an opportunity to do something just because she want to do it too but doesn't have the time or money to do it.
The same thing happened when I went to Brazil last year as I was just going to go to see my family for around a month because I hadn't seen them in two years, I said that they could come with me one time but because they didn't have the cash that I was going to go on my own they then proceeded to take it as I didn't want them to come with me anymore even though I did. fast forward a few month she managed to save enough for the tickets and enough spending money for a couple of weeks so I had to cut seeing my family short to accommodate her budget ( we spilt it in to 1 week in Rio and 1 week with my family) ( well technically with in her budget I paid for a fair few things that she doesn't know about in order for her to be able to afford it.
I feel like the same thing Is happening this time as I brought up the subject of me going on my own and she started to get upset and sulk about it because she really wants to go, but as I said I don't see the point on missing out because she has to miss out. We already do go on holidays together as is usually tailored to fit around her budget. for example we went to Amsterdam a few months ago because it was a place she wanted to go ( I had already been and wasn't really interested in returning, but did anyway because it was something she wanted and was in budget for her)
The main reason I want to go back as the last time I went we had just started dating and when I suggested that I was going to extend my stay she started crying about how much she missed me and how that she really wanted me to come back and made be feel guilty about extending my trip ( was going to go from 2 weeks and add another 2 weeks to the trip) as a result I feel I missed a lot of things that I wanted to do. I brought this up and it led to a fight about how she don't have anything to do with me returning early.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
dgVTcgJ22kVmb0tnQ29Gq2gdkp9H7Q8C
|
al5il5
|
{
"description": "not forgiving some of my daughter's debt",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 58
}
|
AITA for not forgiving some of my daughter's debt?
|
My daughter and her husband have two kids that are in a parochial school. He is an electrician and she was in medical. She was laid off and they decided to take the kids out of parochial school and put them into public. I didn't want to see that happen so I loaned them over $10,000 for tuition, book, lunch,etc so the kids could stay in their school.
I recently built a building behind my home. Outdoor kitchen/pool house type. My SIL did all of the electrical. My daughter ended up finding a job and I asked the status of my money. She asked how much they owed and I told them the exact amount I loaned them. She then asked about forgiving some of it because her husband helped me out. I declined. Am I the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 56,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 2,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 2
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 58
}
|
WRONG
|
VTwF0eoAHKotg56S7yD4sai0SZQspzBc
|
adfxda
|
{
"description": "hooking up with my friends best friend when he told me it would feel ''weird''",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for hooking up with my friends best friend when he told me it would feel ''weird''?
|
Yes this is very odd but let me give you guys a little background on this.
So my friend, let's just call him ''Dave'' and I went on barely two dates 5 years ago. We never had sex and we barely got intimate at all, we kissed twice on the second date and after that he cut off the contact with me for basically not being in the right state of mind. I honestly didn't care much and it barely hurt since we didn't even build some kind of relationship, just starting to get to know each other.
​
Fast forward a bit over 4 years later (2018), he writes back to me apologizing for what happened over 4 years ago. At first I was a bit confused cause I didn't know who it was until I took a closer look. Something worth mentioning is that a few months before this happened my 3 year relationship with my ex ended. So I was really not looking for anything new or even a flirt.
I of course accepted his apology and made it very clear that I wasn't interested in anything else than friendship, I had recently ended a long relationship and my attraction for the guy wasn't there anymore at all.
As I mentioned, I was very clear about it and he told me that he also just wanted to be friends.. Well fast forward a few months; we've been talking from time to time, seeing each other sometimes but only as friends. He spoke about girls he was dating, I helped him with what he should say to them etc.
New years eve comes up and he invited me to a home party with a bunch of his friends. I was scrolling through the people who were going to attend on the facebook event to see if there was anyone I knew. Saw one of his friends who happened to be his best friend and I wrote to Dave saying that his friend looked really good. He replied and told me not to hook up with him cause it would feel ''weird''. When he said that I thought it was because his friend recently broke up with his girlfriend and that maybe he wasn't ready to hook up with someone yet. Dave didn't give me a further explanation to why it would feel ''weird'' hooking up with his friend.
​
Fast forward to the party; Me and Daves best friend ended up making out a lot and he really digged me and I really digged him. He kept repeating how Dave would ''hate him'' and ''kill him''. At first I thought he was joking cause I didn't understand why Dave would be mad since I saw him making out with plenty of other girls and even kissed my best friend that I invited.
By the end of the party Dave saw us making out and being really touchy, he got so mad that he took his best friend in to a room and literally gave him a real scolding for like an hour. We went home and the next day Dave sent me this huge message telling me how I was one of the most disrespectful people he'd ever met and how he didn't want anything to do with me. He had already blocked me from every social media before I even had the chance to answer.
Was I the asshole in this situation for making out with his best friend because he told me before that it would feel ''weird?''
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 3,
"NOBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
Pmk2K2r0ET9ueOk1nAK2E59ATVVj9n1i
|
ajgo78
|
{
"description": "telling my girlfriend not to let a guy walk her",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 4
}
|
AITA for telling my girlfriend not to let a guy walk her?
|
So, there's this guy, let's call him Alex.
Let's call my girlfriend Jacky
Let's start with some backstory:
So I started dating Jacky 5 months ago during the summer; we were close friends before we were dating.
During the summer we would work together at a program, it's how I got so close to her.
School starts, and I start walking her home everyday.
I noticed that Alex would always be there, he was always silent so I assumed that's what he's like but Jacky told me that he doesn't usually act that way.
I found out that he has feelings for her, his friends and Jacky's friends were constantly trying to set them up.
I'm in love with my girlfriend and I love holding her hands, hugging her from behind, just hugging in general.
I noticed that whenever we're around him she doesn't let me show any sort of affection, this is the only dude she does that around; she's fine with showing affection around everyone else, including the father she said that would kill me if he found out we were going out together (he found out that day and said I was a nice dude when we were leaving).
So I asked her what was up, she said she doesn't want or knows how to let him down
So I dealt with it.
I'm insecure around the guy, he doesn't just look better than me but has better grades than me.
He stops walking her home because I'm assuming he took the hint that we were together.
So things happen and I found out that she used to have feelings for him, she said it was when she was with her ex and knew she was going to break up with him.
She also said they slow danced to Paul Anka's 'Put your head on my shoulder' during a field day inside a classroom alone with only the teacher being there (this occurred whilst she was fighting with her ex).
So obviously I'm uncomfortable with this.
She's starting an internship type job today, she comes out at 6 and my parents won't let me walk her due to it being far and I'd get home late.
The dude's going to be there, he'll obviously take this opportunity to walk her home due to my not being there.
So as I was walking her off to take the bus to her new internship job I brought it up to her, "Is Alex walking you home"
she told me he wasn't.
I then asked her "Please don't let him walk you".
She then went off saying "So I'm supposed to walk home all alone?!?"
Mind you, her best friend takes the same bus and is also working there and his stop is just a few behind hers so she'll be on the bus alone for less than 10 minutes. The bus stop is literally on top of her house too so she walks for a few seconds.
I should also add on that this Alex dude takes a completely different route to get home and has in the past waited in pure heat and even during harsh rain to walk her home.
AITA?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 5,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 4
}
|
RIGHT
|
ts8J1fSh28N5P7zFKIVdUedHpo7bY3yh
|
av61z8
|
{
"description": "taking the neighbours laundry out of the washing machine so I can use it",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for taking the neighbours laundry out of the washing machine so I can use it.
|
For context we live in an apartment block with a shared laundry that has one machine. I needed to wash my clothes for work so I removed their clothes from the machine after waiting and checking if they where still sitting in the machine washed for the proceeding hour. I hung them outside in the sun. A friend suggested that touching their washed clothes could be considered a violation, should I have left their clothes in the machine?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UChs7jQMmdORAd69tllbS9ZO63NLEhT4
|
aaqlxu
|
{
"description": "not hounding my cousin about plans",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA if I didn't hound my cousin about plans?
|
Throwaway because my cousin knows my reddit.
My cousin and I are close; she's a few years older than I and we live in the same city and have similar hobbies.
My bf (who she is also close with) and I invited her to a concert tomorrow for a band we all LOVE about four or five months ago.
My cousin is known for being non-committal with plans and is also known for not answering her phone (texts and calls) very often.
This is always something I've known but in recent months it's become more annoying. She asked me to catsit for her but did not reply to my texts asking about details until the day she needed me. She has flaked out on concerts last minute before and it is never known for sure if she is coming to a family event until she is actually there.
Since she is family and we are genuinely friends, I put a lot of effort into coordinating our plans. I text her mutliple times, I call, I figure out as much as I can about a plan and relay the information to her, I make it as simple as possible so that she can just show up to the thing and not have to worry about coordinating anything.
This usually works out, maybe 60-70% of the time she shows up. I wanted to ask WIBTA if I did not do that this time? We have known about this concert for MONTHS and I texted her at 11:00am this morning asking if she bought her ticket/if she wants to do dinner together before we go and she has yet to reply and it is 6:00pm now. WIBTA if I didn't text her anymore about these plans and leave it up to her to plan with me/show up tomorrow? It's fine if she doesn't want to go, I just wish she'd tell me so I can stop wondering.
I know this kind of sounds like a validation post but she has an affinity for not realizing her mistakes. I also do not know if she really knows any better, I don't think she realizes how rude it is to just not reply.
So, WIBTA if I didn't text her/follow up anymore?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
yE3AP08ngFlVJc1uPvOh6XZwSdBXKAl9
|
b4jmju
|
{
"description": "wanting my girlfriend to not disclose her seizure disorder to her boss unless she has one at work",
"pronormative_score": 12,
"contranormative_score": 15
}
|
AITA for wanting my girlfriend to not disclose her seizure disorder to her boss unless she has one at work?
|
My gf has a variety of medical issues, notably bipolar and a seizure disorder (not sure which one). She works part time at a doggie daycare. She had a seizure on the 20th. Her work is now informing her she cannot return to work until she is 3 months seizure free, or at the end of June.
AITA for encouraging her not to disclose this information to ANY boss unless legally required? To her, specifically, not her boss.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 15,
"OTHER": 11,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 1
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 12,
"WRONG": 15
}
|
WRONG
|
8fp6vP56vASlTNRDXTorc4BAmqyDi7ab
|
9v2hjj
|
{
"description": "being open about how I feel in our friendship",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for being open about how I feel in our friendship?
|
I(17M) am in study hall with my best friend(16F) and we start talking about her story she is writing). She started the conversation, and it goes on for 30 mins. I try having a different conversation with her and she either says shut up or I dont care(This has happened on different occasions, but its somewhat apart of our friendship where a little mean to each other, like she calls me bitch and I call her a dick) Then ten mins pass and she says I have to listen to this playlist and I do. After the song is over I tell her she should listen to this. She tells me no and when I said I listened to her songs she said it was my fault for listening. Ten mins pass and I try showing her this gif on reddit, and she says she doesn’t want to watch. I look upset and she asks if Im mad now. I was mad but tell her no because she had a really bad week last week, and I didn’t want to say anything I regret and I said no. The class period ends, and we both go to different classes. I spend the whole period thinking out what I was going to say and how I felt because the last month I felt she wasnt treating nice at all. She ignored me last week, but talked to all the friends in our friend group and ignored all the texts I sent. I sent 4 texts in total and gave up when she didnt reply. Theres alot more stuff that she does but Im trying to keep it short. I send a message saying how I felt and why I didnt say it in person. She tells me that I should’ve said it in person and not hide behind a screen. When ever she critizes me, she does it through text. I replied do you to talk about it in person and says No, and that if shes such a problem i should leave her. I tell her she is acting childish and the only said this so we could make our friendship stronger. She gets upset and tells me to leave her alone. She tells me if I ever make her uncomfortable or if I do something that angers her and I thought I was just doing the same thing. Am I the asshole
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
UmgYAciLJ6oF4ajQUpLuZWIKicV0QFC4
|
avt1bp
|
{
"description": "requesting a different server at the bar for weekly trivia",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
WIBTA to request a different server at the bar for weekly trivia?
|
Every Wednesday a group of friends and I go the bar for trivia night. The same two servers always work trivia night. One is a great server and the other is absolutely miserable. Regularly gives wrong drinks to wrong people, gets orders wrong, you've got to ask for a water three times before it comes etc etc. This past week, four of us sat down and ordered draft beers from the bum server. Approximately 5-7 minutes later another table walks in and they are greeted by the proficient one. Ten minutes after that, we still have no beers and the other table has drafts AND FOOD (it's burger night so they have burgers cooking already). It was the tip of the iceberg. This person ruins my experience, and for whatever reason we have gotten him as our server for weeks now. Perhaps he is here to teach me something about myself, and I wish I could keep that perspective always but I don't always succeed. This is where I come to unwind and have a good time, and he's blowing it. Would I be the asshole to request a different server? Or would I be the asshole to buy drinks at the bar and sit at our table (server section)? I've left a yelp review about the guy and told the manager to no avail.
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
oaDslThi5L5SAL3t9uPeYqEm5SZ28ta8
|
ano5hy
|
{
"description": "getting mad at my dad for not getting a new job",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for getting mad at my dad for not getting a new job?
|
My dad got laid off before Christmas last year and ever since he hasn't even looked for a new job. His company said he would help him get a new job and he gets unemployment but it's not enough as my mom has to work a shitton to make ends meet now. All my dad really does now is watch tv all day. I can see my dads point of view as he worked the same job for nine years and finding the same doesn't seem ideal but we are struggling to make ends meet. Am I an asshole for believing this way? Should I say something to him or my mother?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 1
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
kDmw5zfFZV9nVwCPbSqo8B1gBgFHW2WO
|
auut0f
|
{
"description": "not wanting to get married until my SO starts contributing to a retirement savings",
"pronormative_score": 6,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for not wanting to get married until my SO starts contributing to a retirement savings?
|
Been dating my SO (25F) for five years and it has been awesome. Both her and our families have been starting to hint at marriage happening soon, especially since she is turning 26 in a year and will be kicked off her parent's health insurance. My biggest hesitation is that she isn't financially future planning.
I (25M) personally am super money frugal and plan for the future way more than I probably should (maxing out 401k/HSA each year, portion of paychecks into savings, etc.). My biggest two future worries are that I will run out of money when I retire and having a SO that would potentially turn into a money drain (too many family friends have made this a scary thought for me).
My SO has been working at part-time/temporary jobs since graduating college, and none have ever had any 401k/retirement saving initiative or match. As a result, she has never opened up a 401k or even a savings account. Every time I bring it up, it is a touchy topic (she complains she doesn't make as much as me so it isn't as easy). Where it hurts me a lot is that when she does have a good amount of money laying around, she ends up treating herself to something new (new laptop, loads of new makeup, etc.).
While I don't think she would ever be a money drain, I still worry about the future and having to be able to support two people with only my contributions. Majorly worried if I ever hit issue #1 and run out of money while retired. Seeing prices increase so quickly makes me worry too.
I love her a lot but I want as stress-less of a future as I can get after retirement. Maybe I'm over thinking a lot of this. AITA for feeling this way?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 5,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 6,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
lPqVdH4QoH7QSnfrFq3pw5cVziHa55e1
|
aqq81r
|
{
"description": "wanting to move away from my good-hearted, but not great housemates",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for wanting to move away from my good-hearted, but not great housemates?
|
I'm a college student and live with four other housemates. I moved in with friends and they come from difficult backgrounds. I'm conflicted because they're actually good, ambitious, hardworking people and care about me, but I want to be around people who are, I guess in my terms, better. I'm uncomfortable with how the guys talk about women. One always complains about how he never gets dates, that people don't want to hang out often enough, that people work too much, and complains about the girls who have rejected him but he still crushes on them. I've been realistic with him on what he can do to change his situation, but he doesn't try clubs, change how he looks to be more attractive, etc. Another comments on how attractive other girls who are at least 6 years younger than him are even though he has a girlfriend. He actually hit on me before when I had a boyfriend, which I thought was trashy. The other brags about stuff like how he used to date a girl who was a D-cup. One girl jokes about how her dad cheated on her mom and she doesn't expect her own relationship to last. That's not them as a totality, but I just don't like that these are the type of people I decided to live with and I like myself less because of it. I don't want myself to get used to this being the norm and this isn't helping the bias against guys I have from growing up seeing the men in my family cheat. I even recently found out a cousin broke up a marriage in a messed up way and I'm sick of feeling like I can't run away from this pattern. My main reason is that I just don't want to think this is what I should expect from people and I expect better. They seem to have just accepted their life and what they saw growing up, but I want to surround myself with people I can be proud of. I'm not perfect either and I don't want to sound like I'm better than them, but I'm just really disappointed right now.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
tH7L2ZJuvFzbfHFizAkmY38fCttBsdz2
|
aivmxv
|
{
"description": "emailing my principal about a teacher",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for emailing my principal about a teacher
|
Few things for context before story:
1. I am a new student at a rural Michigan school and I moved from Thousand Oaks, California
2. This teacher is very polarizing amongst students due to style of teaching, personality, favoritism, etc.
3. The class is AP Environmental Science (I'll avoid unnecessary science vocabulary)
4. My teacher isn't the best with technology
5. He's a hardass
Canon:
My teacher gave us a project involving survivorship at 3 different time periods (1700-1900, 1901-1950, 1951-present) and explaining what we see. The entire class went on a field trip to the local graveyard to collect data from the tombstones (birth year, death year, age, sex) and we all entered the data on to a Google sheets spreadsheet that our teacher organized. The class breaks apart into groups of 5 and nobody really knows exactly what final product he's expecting from us. This entire project was given to us via word of mouth. A few days pass, and my group collectively put together a fairly long PowerPoint presentation with multiple graphs and explanations. The amount of effort we all put into this project was higher than usual because we didn't know exactly what our teacher wanted so we wanted to overshoot a bit to be safe. Our group was first to present and he absolutely trashed our project in front of the whole class. It was very clear to the whole class he was unsatisfied with the quality that we had presented. I felt defeated at first, but then I saw what other groups had. Some had hand drawn graphs, some just printed graphs, a few had no explanations, and there was another PowerPoint besides my groups. What my teacher really wanted from this project became clear while he was picking apart projects. The thing everyone lacked was specificity and we had until tomorrow to fix it. The specifics he was asking for were impossible to find with the way the data was entered. My teacher set up the spreadsheet in a way that we couldn't tell what exact year a person was born or died. When it comes time to graph and explain, we are making assumptions based on the ages people died and the time period, not their age and year. For example: the 1901-1950 graph had a higher child mortality rate which we could be due to polio, Spanish flu, blah blah blah. What our teacher wanted was: in 1918 we saw a spike in child and infant mortality rates attributed most likely to Spanish flu. I tried to explain to my teacher that what he's asking for isn't possible in a day with a spreadsheet that doesn't work. My favorite quote from my teacher regarding the whole graphing portion of the project is, "Why would I learn how to do something, just to teach it to you?"
So quick recap. The project wasn't explained well when first presented (my classmates know who they are and would attest to this), my teacher doesn't know how to make the graphs for this project, what he's asking for is impossible, and we have one day to fix it... Nice
I wrote a very professional, sternly toned email to my principal (thanks for proof reading mom) because talking with my teacher didn't get us anywhere. My principal pulled me aside at lunch the day after I drafted the email to thoroughly explain the situation, and thankfully she took my side. To say I was nervous going into my teacher's class after sending that email would be a gross understatement. I have seen him pick on kids, pull hair, and single people out in front of everyone so I was a little afraid some of that would happen. Instead, he told me to stay after class. The tone I got from him was the "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" tone and he said that it was a low blow to go to his boss rather than speak to him first, I attacked his career, I need to not act so impulsively, and get out of my face.
Dilemma:
I feel like I narc'd him out when I could've let the project blow over without any administrative intervention at all due to its impossibility. Did I do the right thing? I don't know, the situation doesn't sit right for me
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 9,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
rolA8yfzifmRAQwr7kwgGgaFlqWV4q31
|
b4rgwj
|
{
"description": "refusing therapy",
"pronormative_score": 7,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for refusing therapy?
|
I literally hate myself so much lol even as I type this I know it’s impulsive and I’ll probably regret it bc I don’t want any police officers coming to my house or anything but
I don’t want to go to therapy but my parents really do. I know how much money and heart they spend on me so it makes me feel really bad for them that they have to deal with my bs. I told them to hate me or disown me or emotionally cut ties with me but they say no, but then they blame me for tearing the family apart. I guess it is my fault. I don’t know what I want. I think it’s my fate to just die tbh. Like, natural selection to get me. I’m torn bc I don’t know if I want/can get better and it shows, so my parents are worried. They’re rightfully blaming me for being a leech. I told them I’d move out (I’m a high school senior but 18 so it works) and pay for my own food and stuff but they refused so I don’t really get it either. I don’t try to hurt them for the most part but sometimes I’m just upset. I don’t want to talk and to see other people. I kinda just wanna die because I’m honestly so done with my bullshit. I’m sorry to everyone. I don’t even know if I wanna live or die. I just had an argument with my parents over this and I really impulsively wanted to slit my neck but also I haven’t written any goodbye letters yet so I had second thoughts. Now I’m typing this.
Am I the asshole to myself and my parents? Serious answers only.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 2,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 6,
"INFO": 0
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 7,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
wqBcOsq0WRyauXZYMygCgxtdpNUxfbr1
|
b8d384
|
{
"description": "refusing to help my friend with this thing she signed up for and I purposefully avoided signing up for",
"pronormative_score": 10,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
WIBTA for refusing to help my friend with this thing she signed up for and I purposefully avoided signing up for?
|
Background: I’m a senior at a relatively large American high school. There’s a student-run tradition at my school towards the end of the school year called Senior Assassin. Basically, everyone who wants to participate pitches in a small amount of money. Then each participant is randomly assigned another participant to “assassinate” with a Super Soaker (water gun). But school grounds are off-limits, so most participants get their assigned victim by essentially stalking them and then shooting them with the soaker as they’re leaving or entering their house. This goes on for as many days or weeks are necessary until there’s only one person hasn’t been “assassinated”. That person wins half the money originally contributed by the participants, while the other half is divided among the next few runners-up.
The problem: I purposefully chose not to participate. With my luck I’d be assigned someone I’ve never met, which would make it really difficult, and also, the whole thing just doesn’t seem all that fun to me. My best friend “Lucy”, however, decided to participate, and was assigned to get “Adam”, a boy we’ve both heard about from other people’s gossip but aren’t actually familiar with.
During lunch today, we were going through his social media, trying to figure out where Adam lives. I wished Lucy good luck getting Adam, and she replied, “Oh, no. You’re not just going to stand back and watch from afar. You’re going to help me. Are you working Thursday?”
I checked my calendar. “Nope.”
“Good. We’re going to stake out in Adam’s yard together. I’m not doing this alone.”
I didn’t reply, but I was a bit taken aback. I purposefully avoided signing up for this game, but I felt myself getting roped into it anyway because of someone else’s decision to sign up.
I don’t really feel comfortable stalking a random stranger, even if it is for a game he willingly signed up for. At the same time, though, I value my friendship with Lucy and don’t want to let her down.
WIBTA for refusing to help my friend with Senior Assassin?
|
HYPOTHETICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 6,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 4,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 10,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
J9MPnN6pT9pS0KbbglB5lFLd9BmbAG6W
|
az6aai
|
{
"description": "not lending my friend money",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not lending my friend money?
|
He said he needed $150 because he recently organised a trip and was a bit short because of other expenses etc.
I have just over $1000 saved up in emergency funds, so it wouldnt be an issue but I have never lent him a big amount of money before. Ive known him for 4 years and he always drops me to and from work, free of charge, so this is why I feel like I am TA right now. I feel kind of guilty. Whenever people ask me for money, I feel bad for saying no.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 8,
"INFO": 2
}
|
NOBODY
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
p8EEiDDlGKOac0fIdvDm3c99tZ8tMxci
|
a76tie
| null |
AITA, or rather, are my siblings the assholes, for lying to our dad?
|
So just some context, whenever we had trouble, needed advice, or wanted to talk, we always went to our mother. She was one of the sweetest people we knew, and she always gave good advice. Yes, at times of high stress, she would blow up at us, but that was the outlier, the exception. Unfortunately, she passed quite some time ago.
Our father, on the other hand? A different person all together. If you go to him for anything, you're liable to get screamed at, degraded, and not helped at all, leaving with a battered sense of self worth instead of anything useful. He rarely gives us advice when we talk to him, and will mostly just keep repeating the negatives of what we were discussing, and making us feel like shit. He always uses slurs and character insults such as: "Godless slut, whore, bitch, asshole, I hope god takes you, May god curse you, Curse god, you're a lying bitch, so on and so forth." You get the idea.
So we picked up the habit of lying to him, my siblings especially. I'm the only dude in my family, so I get slightly better deal (Cultural BS and wanting to hand down the family name and all that) but my sisters get the shit end of the stick.
I don't think that any of our father's advice has ever been helpful. You can't really ask him for anything because he'll list off that we're selfish and already have so much, even though we never really ask for anything to begin with. I'm not exaggerating that. He was fucking livid at us one time for buying shit from the dollar store.
"But OP, your father loves and cares about you!"
Many, many people have told me this. Friends don't really know him as we do, and family will always turn a blind eye to him when he does what he wants. To give you an idea of how hard he makes it to talk to him, I'll bring up my sister's education as an example. She has wanted to get tutoring for a very, very long time. Every time she asks my father, he insists on teaching her himself. This often leads to a lot of crying, screaming, and sometimes even her getting smacked around. (To those asking, my father only ever slaps us, to my knowledge. Never hard enough to leave bruises, but definitely enough to hurt. According to one of my sisters, she has a couple of bruises, and says he punches, but I have not seen it myself.) I stepped in because I vividly remember him teaching me my multiplication tables by smacking me on the back of the head every-time I messed one up. Not wanting my sister to relive that, I ended up getting my shirt ripped and being called a shitty son, and he kept forcing her to learn from him.
Surprise surprise, she didn't retain any information whatsoever because she only wanted to get away from him, and failed many of her tests. She has now gone behind his back to pay for tutoring because he would never let her get it, and got a good grade on her math test because of it. She can't afford it any more though, so she can't go again.
"Your father is your father, and regardless he needs to know the truth"
If we tell him the truth, he punishes us. If we tell him and he doesn't believe us, he punishes us. If we lie and he finds out, he punishes us. If he gets a feeling we are doing anything he doesn't like, he doesn't need evidence, he'll punish us. And a punishment like "You're grounded" or "No car for a week" or "No phone for a week" would work fine if he was reasonable. But his punishment is always indefinite and at his discretion. "I'm taking your phones, I don't have to give a reason. When will you get them back? When I feel like it." He has never wanted to understand any of our issues, what is causing them, or how to fix them. He just thinks if he punishes us, we can fix it ourselves.
He has reduced me and my sisters to the point of tears many times, and his most common justification is that we live with him. His most common justification, in case that isn't clear, is that he OBEYS THE LAW TO THE EXTENT THAT HE WON"T GET SENT TO JAIL FOR NOT CLOTHING, FEEDING, AND HOUSING HIS KIDS. This is literally the bare minimum a parent can legally do.
So Reddit, are we assholes? I'm totally open to whatever you decide. I will take it respectfully and gracefully.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
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"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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}
|
OTHER
|
{
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}
|
RIGHT
|
FTOKKqeTi1mTp2x3zTGYZ27rPvT4sYYK
|
ahshss
|
{
"description": "asking my wife not to use my drinking glass and bath towel",
"pronormative_score": 9,
"contranormative_score": 2
}
|
AITA for asking my wife not to use my drinking glass and bath towel?
|
Context. Been married for 11 years, known for 4 years before that, met in high school. This request of mine has pretty much been a thing forever.
Whatever drinking glass I use I put in the same place on the window sill above our kitchen sink. I always leave my towel on the towel bar after I shower. I like to know that my things are clean and where I left them so I can use them next time I need them.
She isn't that kind of person so she views this request as an attack on her. As in: "You will kiss me but you won't share your drink with me?" I will share if I have water or whatever, however I ask that if we are just at home she leaves my glass where I put it and get her own glass. The towel is a similar issue, she leaves her towels on the bed, couch, floor, pretty much anywhere in the house.
I am a generally possessive person, I am protective of my things, I follow the rule of a place for everything and everything in it's place. WITH MY THINGS. I am not a tyrant, I don't go around the house dictating where her or my children's things go. Live and let live.
She just told me she needs to leave the house (like to cool off, nothing crazy) because this came up again for probably the 20th time in our lives together and I still didn't change my stance.
So seriously, should I make a very major change to my personality so I don't hurt her feelings, or am I being reasonable?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 1,
"NOBODY": 2,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 9,
"WRONG": 2
}
|
RIGHT
|
IzSG0t1Tofw2VwElUQhgSYh3fslWJelS
|
b1zvyn
|
{
"description": "playing company of heroes with my friend. he says I play pussy game",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA I play company of heroes with my friend. He says I play pussy game
|
Me and my friend played 1v1 on coh2 (company of heroes), and he picked German Wermacht. I counter played him with
Soviet Union. He had panzers and bunkers, only way to counter it was mortars and anti-tank artillery. I spammed some of those at early game for taking advantage than pushed him to his base. I barraged him with my mortars and destroyed his panzers with my anti-tanks than pushed in with T-34 tanks. He rage quit than yelled me for playing like ass hole. I said him i'll write this to reddit and check what other people thinks about this. He responded with rage again. And said it was a move who only kids do. AITA for playing counter play to him ?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
jAjSJ0NP5QuEAZeRziDrAAnZVxGaP72o
|
a1u7mf
|
{
"description": "wanting my partner to get fit but not to fit",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 8
}
|
AITA for wanting my partner to get fit but not to fit?
|
TL;DR: I'm sick and my boyfriend is a healthnut since Tuesday.
Tuesday this week I got me and my SO contracts at our local fitness studio. That was my Idea that he only reluctantly agreed to.
We both were in shape when we met and got fat together.
Now we want to change that. Especially I have formed a very negative self-image regarding my looks. He is my first boyfriend and I generally have problems with insecurity which I'm working on, but it's stil a work in progress.
I also had the expectation, if we got a good routine of consistently going twice or three time the week, that would be it.
Since Tuesday my bf had hid the gym every single day.
I had been swarmed with work, I go to college and had papers due on Wednesday and Thursday, and am currently on sickleave from my part time job for the weekend because of a very bad cold. I slept all day and used enough tissues to probably single handedly be guilty for the deforestation of half the rain forest.
Somehow him going so often and getting so much done so fast is getting me mad.
On one hand because part of me feels like I'm way behind even tough this is not a competition.
The other part of me is mad because for himself aka his own fitness goal he is this motivated while he couldn't care less about our household. He sometimes does laundry and helps under protest if I make him.
So am I the asshole for beeing a bit angry? Am I just bitchy because I can't breathe for shit with this clogged nose and my throat on flames?
Thanks in advance for reading.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 8,
"OTHER": 1,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
AUTHOR
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 8
}
|
WRONG
|
DDFj3uIdOkNGSmTTAy9Tk4lGJlFtKkLQ
|
avpv4r
|
{
"description": "being angry at my friend for going to Thailand without me",
"pronormative_score": 1,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for being angry at my friend for going to Thailand without me?
|
A friend of my boyfriend's older brother is working in Thailand at the moment and offered, that we could stay at her place. My bf (18) is just doing different internships, cause heute doesn't know what He wants to do and I(19) am working and don't have vacation until august. I suggested, we could go there together when I have vacation, but now he told me, he booked a flight in March to travel there. We got into a fight and Ich feel like shit for not supporting him, cause he is really looking forward to it.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 0,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 4
}
|
INFO
|
{
"RIGHT": 1,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
D37paiyDrR8xGosNtm23B9DJUbnpRpfx
|
aysved
|
{
"description": "finding a new hobby after my friends grandmother dies",
"pronormative_score": 2,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for finding a new hobby after my friends grandmother dies
|
So my friend and I met years ago online and we roleplay, like basically write stories together and we have years worth of original works together and that’s what sparked our friendship and holds it together, it’s like our thing in common and what we do. I have a very very one track mind. I can’t do multiple hobbies at the same time because I put 110% effort into what I do. My friends grandmother died, so I’m ready to give her the space or whatever she needs, and I still message her regularly about daily life and stuff, but it’s obvious our hobby together will be put on hold. I have no problem with this as I respect her and her need to grieve, but I’m 110% into this hobby right now as in when I’m not working and she’s busy I’ll literally sometimes nap in order to “fast forward” time to when she is available. I have plenty of other hobbies I could be doing, but giving my all to something else such as gaming means I won’t be able to get back into the mindset to do this for a little while if I absorb all my free time when I’m not working into games with another friend.
Basically, I have nothing to do now that she’s taking some time away, so would I be the asshole for throwing myself into another one of my interests knowing full well that when she’s ready to do things with me again, I’ll have moved on for the time being and will be giving my attention and time to different people? I still text her regularly about day to day stuff, but all I do is work, so I don’t usually have anything interesting to say.
I don’t want her to feel like it’s her fault for not writing with me while she’s obviously grieving, because I don’t expect her to, but I also don’t want to just wait for her to finish and waste my days off work doing nothing :(
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 2,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
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"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 2,
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}
|
RIGHT
|
Xg5YMhfPZGpETJgzYMvxsosen50XAiI5
|
b43ml6
|
{
"description": "not wanting to share a post that says \"share if cancer sucks\"",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for not wanting to share a post that says “share if cancer sucks”
|
I’ve been seeing [This post](https://www.instagram.com/prettylou11/p/BvAIwJGgPHX/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=7chppkl31ua) floating around on people’s instagram stories. It’s mostly kids I go to school with. To me they obviously have their heart in the right place and what they’re doing is no harm to anyone. But I feel the original poster was trying to guilt people into liking and sharing because it says “I bet 97% of you wont share”. And it is also kind of like beating a dead horse. Yes, cancer is a terrible illness and should be stopped. But everyone knows that. I doubt there are any cancer activists out there at all, let alone ones who would be moved by this person saying fuck cancer to be against it. Am I the asshole for not reposting a post exploiting an illness for like bait?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 8,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
ALCY9ix4ZmNkSQHLwj1wef7HLa9k6fmH
|
ag87bj
|
{
"description": "calling this guy in my group a dick after he threw a tantrum",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 3
}
|
AITA for calling this guy in my group a dick after he threw a tantrum?
|
Little bit of context for ya;
I went on this camp with about 40 people in our troop, all about 12-15, and in each troop there is 6 patrols. Now I was the leader of one of the patrols and we had this guy in our group, (lets call him E). I had already met E and he was about 13, and I knew beforehand that he had anger issues. He wouldn't be able to communicate what he wanted, then he freak out, maybe yell, swear, scream, stuff like that. So this one time our group is off playing minigolf and E isn't doing great. He'd been kinda moody for the whole day, walking off and half-assing everything. At one point he had been trying at this one whole and he started just crazily swinging the putt at the ball before throwing it to the ground. He then swore at another guy in my group (C, you can call him), (he's like the second in comand)) and went off. Later, as we were walking back to the campsite he was being all moody saying stuff like 'the activity was so stupid' and 'so dumb and boring'. I don't know how the conversation got to this point, but it did. I was like 'well, you should listen and have respect' and he said 'I'm not gonna respect people i don't have respect for'. And I, being angry and tired, told him 'It's not about respect it's mainly about not being a dick' and then just stopped talking to him.
​
he got talked to be one of the adults later about how he was being rude and angry and apologised, but he wouldn't meet my eyes.
I know this may not seem like such a bad thing, but I just feel like a totally screwed up as a leader, what do ya'll think?
​
tl;dr : guy i went on camp with had anger issues and threw a tantrum and swore at someone, l later told him he was acting like a dick. Am I the Asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 3,
"OTHER": 4,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 3
}
|
RIGHT
|
PnayO57lvMQ1vXTJKcHKn4RKAcQeNPYV
|
b1rtic
|
{
"description": "agreeing with Reddit",
"pronormative_score": 8,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for agreeing with Reddit?
|
So yesterday mods banned r/watchpeopledie and r/gore, which I think was a long time coming. People keep calling it censorship, but it’s not like the mods went around hand picking opinions they didn’t like and took those out, they simply got rid of some of the darker shit on the site. I’ve always thought those subs were disgusting, and I can not imagine they bred a sense of community or brought any one together like other subs do. And it’s not like they’ve wiped it from the entire internet, if for some reason you still wanna see that type of shit, you can just go to sites like Liveleak or 4chan. I’m not trying to make Reddit SFW, but those subs, I think, were really bottom of the barrel, and the worst parts of Reddit.
Also, r/pewdiepiesubmissions was recently made private for the time being, because of the shooting in New Zealand. And honestly, that whole situation is fucked. What other decent options are there? I’m sure Felix would like to address this himself and I’m sure he’ll come out with that video pretty soon. It’s not his fault, and he has continually come out against stuff like this, but the media is not going to like this, and the only attention he’s going to get at the moment is negative. I think he should talk about it first rather than the sub start meming it or giving their opinions. It is his sub, and we should hear from him first.
I’m sure r/pdps will be made public again relatively soon, but honestly I think Reddit, if anything, is saving him from a ton of negative attention. Like when celebrities die, and millions of people start following their Instagram, I think he would have seen a rise in people subbing simply because they heard about the shooting and not to participate in the community. We should just wait for Felix to address it and for the whole thing to calm before we call the mods terrible censors.
I’m currently in a disagreement with my friends about this, and they believe that the mods have no place touching those subs and are especially pissed about r/pdps. So AITA for trying to defend the mods of Reddit?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 7,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 8,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
tQiJKQb0eAeKF7GPvqGJoTwdncmqjhBH
|
b60ilb
|
{
"description": "cutting off an online friend",
"pronormative_score": 4,
"contranormative_score": 0
}
|
AITA for cutting off an online friend?
|
This post might be unnecessary but just wanna make sure.
So i met this girl online and we start chatting and everything seemed fine like every normal convo should go, but after a month or so she starts getting more flirty and more sexual, and asked me if i was interested in dating her.
I just wanna say that im not one for online dating or long distance relationships, so i let her know and she starts getting upset because she thought that there was some chemistry between us, i told her that i was not interested but we can still be friends. She agreed to only being friends.
This cycle between us being friends and her being flirty again continued, so eventually i told her that i was done talking to her and cut her off completely.
Friends say im asshole for cutting her off but im pretty sure they just heard lies from her side if the story, so am i the asshole?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 0,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 4,
"WRONG": 0
}
|
RIGHT
|
0KjJu6desrXa1earC9hfgMHMPrlJlmuS
|
9xalns
|
{
"description": "screaming a Trans persons legal name in a crowd",
"pronormative_score": 30,
"contranormative_score": 5
}
|
AITA for screaming a Trans persons legal name in a crowd?
|
So for some context I work security at a casino, you must be 18 to gamble so I have to ID people. Now to the story.
I just get done ID'ing this group of 5 guys when I see this women that looks like she is trying to sneak onto the floor so I run to catch up to her, say "Ma'am I need to see your I.D." She looks up at me doesn't say anything and hands me an I.D.
The picture on it, I'd clearly not the same person, it has M for the sex and the name is primarily a males name (I forgot it let's say Dan) so I ask them quietly "is your name Dan?", than again a bit louder, when they still don't respond after the third time, I'm saying veto loudly to get any response from this girl, and they finally nod their head, by this point, a group of people are around us, but they definetly all heard me, and if they looked over saw her.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 5,
"OTHER": 30,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 30,
"WRONG": 5
}
|
RIGHT
|
KPuiE5tulV1FsHIvOnZQ6lvPco4r1Mzf
|
9zzv35
|
{
"description": "being mad at my coworkers",
"pronormative_score": 3,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA For being mad at my coworkers?
|
Ok. So, I work at a certain big box hardware chain as a plumbing/kitchen/bath associate. I've been working in this department for almost 9 months now, and preform to the best of my abilities.
During many of my shifts, I am on the sales floor with my department manager. She oftentimes leaves me alone with a confusing/vague list of chores to do (downstocking, cleaning, moving things to vague locations, etc...), and i get lectured if the list isn't done. On top of that, she oftentimes refuses to help me when a customer has a question that I can't answer safely (some kinds of gas line and other things that OUR STORE SELLS weren't covered in training whatsoever), claiming she is busy when i can see her on Facebook on her phone while a work related page is up on the computer she is seated at. Whenever she IS on the floor actually working, she oftentimes stops me in the middle of whatever task SHE gave me to send me on a new one, even going as far as to cut me off from the middle of helping a customer, and then proceeds to be mad at me for not finishing the first job. She even gets mad at me when i go get the electric lift for stuff on the upper shelves instead of trying to balance or knock over large boxes of heavy brass fittings safely as i stand on my toes at the top of a shaky ladder/staircase.
Then there's the other closing associate. She joined us about two months after I joined, and refuses to learn anything about plumbing. She picked up a few small things from training, but still sees it as her right to drag me away from MY duties and customers to answer questions that should be embedded in her skull already (locations of most common items that we get reminded of weekly, thread sizes we've used since day one). I understand wanting to get a second opinion on problems, but she refuses to learn and walks away when i try and explain somethings use after customers walk away. If I were this helpless my Super would have had me fired in a month, but this coworker gets off with no penalties and actually was offered a raise recently.
Am I the asshole for trying to transfer out of this shitshow of a department? Or am i missing some key to retail outside of customers and safety coming first?
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 3,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 0,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 3,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
CaFTsX1h7GCtYBKwbC3dFhKMaDOVdf2G
|
a0fed9
|
{
"description": "not always wanting to deal with my SO's emotions",
"pronormative_score": 17,
"contranormative_score": 1
}
|
AITA for not always wanting to deal with my SO's emotions?
|
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years. We both struggle with anxiety and depression, though when we first started dating I was not getting help/treatment, but he was. I have gotten help and with medication and therapy, I'm at a pretty great place mentally now, I think. He still has struggles; he stopped going to his therapist a while ago, though he does still see his regular doctor for medication.
​
He has bad days more often than I do, and earlier this year we almost broke up because I couldn't take how often they were/how much he relied on me to fix his mood as well as some other things. We worked it out and he has been like a new person since then (in many ways). At the time, I told him that I was fatigued from being his emotional crutch for so long. He has been better than he was. Recently, he has lost most of his friends and basically only has me.
​
We have small arguments fairly often and he still has bad days. I am understanding most the time and try to help him, but today I just did not feel like dwelling/dealing with depression/self esteem issues. We hung out for a bit with him being pretty quiet/seeming down, but eventually he brought up how it upset him that I didn't ask him what he was upset about. We ended up talking about it for about an hour. I told him I thought he should go back to therapy and try to make friends again, which he seemed upset about. We were basically at a stalemate, and I suggested that he get a therapist and ask their opinion and that I would ask my therapist the next time I see her. He then he asked me if I was done talking about it and I said I didn't want to any more and he left.
​
AITA for suggesting he see a therapist instead of relying on me for everything? He says that he thinks it will just end with him just having to hide/suppress his depression/issues.
|
HISTORICAL
|
{
"AUTHOR": 1,
"OTHER": 16,
"EVERYBODY": 0,
"NOBODY": 1,
"INFO": 0
}
|
OTHER
|
{
"RIGHT": 17,
"WRONG": 1
}
|
RIGHT
|
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