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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
17,February,2003
|
Current Song: Rx Bandits- Andrea Wow I have been BORED lately. I've decided that I'm gonna start dieting. I haven't been doing too bad lately. I've been steadily cutting back on fattening shit. And I'm gonna make it a point to work out at least 30 minutes daily. Good deal. Well, I'm gonna go make myself somewhat productive. Farewell my crazies, farewell.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
15,February,2003
|
Story Of The Night! Wow...tonight was CRAZY. Okay, hafta tell the story. So, me, Rachel and Becky go to Chili's. And we sit down, and these 2 girls are sitting diagonal from us. And I notice that every time I talk..the brunette girl stares. So i was like nervously glancing over there every few minutes like 'why the hell is she staring at me...' Then her blonde friend starts turning around and looking at me, and looking back, and they keep saying stuff. So, this goes on for about 10 minutes, and by that time I was anxious to leave because they were making me completely uncomfortable. Then all of a sudden, the brunette walks over and is like 'My friend and I have noticed that you've been staring at me and I wanna know if you have a problem with me or something.' *Ironic, because wait...I haven't been staring. Damn bitches.* So I immediately get like pissed and I'm like 'Ya know..I don't recall that I was staring at you.' And she was like 'Hey, you don't have to get an attitude with me.' And so I'm like 'Actually, I think I can get an attitude if I want, thanks.' So she goes 'If you wanna get an attitude then we can take this outside.' And I was just like 'No, ya know what...I'm good.' So we had gotten our check already, we pay and leave. Guess who follows. The two bitches. By the way, they look like they're in college or something, and I honestly wonder how much of a life they would have to have to be that GAY. So I see them following and I'm all like 'Excuse me...do you have a problem.' And the brunette starts cussing and being gay, and then comes up and slaps me. So Rachel drops her car keys, which Becky grabs to get our getaway van. Rachel punches the bitch in the face so damn hard , and she's totally out of the fight. Then this blonde bitch comes after me, and tries to like restrain me or something, but I punch her in the face and kicked her a few times, until Becky shows up with the van and we HAUL ASS outta there. Oh my gosh...it was the craziest thing ever. Wow. Is that not like...a crazy story? Yeah, all you people who are like 'Shauna's a pansy'...wait till I get that adrenaline. I just felt like this rush of anger, and I just totally went out on the one girl. And when Rachel punched the brunette that was bitching in the first place, it was like the coolest thing ever to watch. I wanted to scream 'owned bitch!', but I was too busy owning the other one. Ahhhhh crazy. Well, I could probably go on alot longer, but I think that I'll just quit for now. G'night crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
14,February,2003
|
Current Song: None I'm listening to an entertaining little song being sung by a bird outside my window right now. It chirps in a four-note tune. The first two notes sound beautiful and eloquent, but the last two sound clown-ish and mocking. It makes me wonder how a bird like that could ever be taken seriously. It makes a delightful first impression, but as you listen more intently, his song is ruined by his foolishness. When I first listened, I was so delighted by the first two notes that I mistook the 2nd two notes being played. I pictured the tune in my head that I wanted to hear, but as I listened closer...I heard that the third note was a sharp, shreeking noise, and that the fourth sounded horrible. I've been thinking about that, and making a connection between that bird and people, in that people, like the bird's song, can be horribly deceiving. They make a cunning first impression, and from that people assume that their full character must reflect that delightfulness that they had first witnessed. And so they become blind to the flaws that consume the rest of who that person is. But sometimes you have to look a bit deeper, listen a bit close, to find out who they really are. Think about that, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
14,February,2003
|
Current Song: Autopilot Off- Missing The Innocence Crazy Personality Disorders...found this quiz thing amusing and interesting. Disorder Rating urlLink Paranoid : Very High urlLink Schizoid : Moderate urlLink Schizotypal : High urlLink Antisocial : High urlLink Borderline : Very High urlLink Histrionic : High urlLink Narcissistic : High urlLink Avoidant : Moderate urlLink Dependent : High urlLink Obsessive-Compulsive : Low -- urlLink Click Here To Take The Test -- Heh. Well, that's all I've got to say. Adioses crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
14,February,2003
|
Current Song: System Of A Down- Prison Song Man, I feel good. And no, it doesn't correlate to the occasion of today, which I won't mention. I love getting outside on beautiful days like today. It's so wonderful. My mood got 100% better by just spending about an hour or so outside. Actually, it was about 2 hours. I really feel great right now. I'm starting my diet and workout stuff as of today. I think tomorrow I'm gonna focus on doing a kickboxing workout...I still remember all my workouts n stuff. Way cool. I really don't feel like being much of a people person tonight...I just need tonight to be sorta calming and nice. And I don't want to hafta change out of my running clothes. Mmm...I'm gonna go find something to do. Good day, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
13,February,2003
|
Ma Vie Ne Peut Pas Etre Decrit Dans Le Mots *My Life Can Not Be Described In Words* You know...I don't think anyone truly appreciates the summer like I do. Because there is no one that hates winter the way I do. No one has quite the passion I have about summer. I take it all in. I grasp every moment. Because the season is so fleeting, that I can't let it slip through my fingers without loving every moment. Even when things get me down...I may be a little upset, but it's a calming sort of pain. Mmm...it's the most wonderful thing in the world. I wish I wasn't so depressed in the winter. You can't imagine what it's like to feel as though you're only living half of a full life. If I were to keep living like this, and I died at 60, it'd be like dying at 30. I'm listening to a good song. It's cheering me up a little bit. *Sometimes I fear that I'll daydream my life away. I'll just wake up one day and realize that none of it is real.* See you crazies tomorrow.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
12,February,2003
|
Current Song: None I've finally realized that life is killing me. I have nothing else to say. '...her heart is clouded with the falling snow, casting out the sunshine she'll never know.' Bye.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
12,February,2003
|
Current Song: The Distillers- Ask The Angels Today, my blog will have substance. I hope. Sometimes people really, honestly puzzle me. Because it seems that people have this un -natural (I stress 'un', because I know it's not always the norm) tendency to degrade others in an attempt to upgrade themselves. But why? Does an individual really have any right or ability to judge other people based on immeasurable standards? Or even on measurable standards...in the case that they haven't measured them. I mean, where do people go along saying that they're 'prettier' or 'smarter' or 'better' than anyone else? 'Hi. Let me take a minute to 'prove' your inferiority to me.' I just don't understand why people have to make everyone inferior to them. Like no one else is worthy of their presence or their time. People just act as though they have a better grasp on life than anyone else. Like everyone else is so much less intelligent. And sometimes, they succeed in making others feel worthless. But you want to know the truth about these people? They aren't better than anyone. And I've felt it a thousand times...where someone has to knock you down to boost themselves up. Or where people brag to make you feel insignificant. I just hate people like that. Because their release of low self esteem is to put others down...and my release of low self esteem is to take it. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In other news... that is all. Have a lovely day crazies. I'll catch ya later.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
11,February,2003
|
Current Song: The Ramone's- Judy Is A Punk Hmm.. boring day. I've been messing with my blog template lately, adding a bunch of pointless shit for the hell of it. It's cool though. Well, this week has started off being pretty typical of any other typical, mediocre week. Friday is damn Valentine's Day. Stupidest commercial holiday ever created. But, hey, maybe I'm biased. Whatever. Have a swell day crazies!
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
09,February,2003
|
Current Song: All-American Rejects- Swing Swing Hmm...I've been thinking alot lately. Just about everything...like how much I'm screwing up life. I wish things were so simple. But things will never be simple, and wishing wont get me very far. Sometimes I just feel so hopeless. But I try to keep in mind that there's always hope for the future. *~Smile for the day that lies ahead, and give hope that tomorrow will come with good intentions. Value the days when laughter filled the air, and the sky cast it's vast beauty amongst the Earth from end to end. Desire to touch your childhood memories, and wish to grasp a tranquil summer's eve. Remember your love of the past, give hope for the future, and the present will be of little worry. ~* Something I always like to keep in mind. I wrote it a long time ago, but I like to read it whenever things get crazy. There's something about that last sentence that always offers the little bit of hope I'm needing. Just found something else in My Documents that goes hand in hand with the above quote: *~The odds are against me but I force on through troubled waters. I pray that fate will be a gentle guide down the river of my life, so interrupted by the crashing waves of a violent storm. But I know that every storm will break, and that a rainbow will pierce through the darkened clouds. The ocean is a cycle; tide to tide, dawn to dusk. All bad will fade, and all good will prevail in the end. So as the winds fiercely rip at my heart, and the tears drench my tired face, I hold my head high, keep my eyes toward the sky and wait for that tiny gleam of sunlight to shine through the clouds. Hope is infallible.~* Well, have a nice day crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
08,February,2003
|
Current Song: Boston- More Than A Feeling The thought sprung in my head that good days are simply perception. They are the perception of acheiving goals, maintaining desires, and grasping tranquility. Then, given that we all know how to perceive such emotions, why do we have bad days? Perhaps we lack faith in the strength of these emotions. With that being said, then perhaps a primary reason for our bad days is the lack of faith in ourselves. Just a thought. Anyways, I woke up a little while ago, so I'm still kinda sleepy. Well, not much else to say. I'm off to perceive a good day. C-ya crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
06,February,2003
|
Googlism Time! Only Because I have Nothing Of Importance To Say. shauna is my bon bon shauna is featured on new discoveries network shauna is kidnapped shauna is bitter about the changes to her lifestyle shauna is a published writer of short fiction shauna is currently our region iv vice president shauna is co shauna is recommended by fellow agents for honesty and integrity as an experienced utah real estate agent professional shauna is part of a group of three that are highly recommended and nominated by fellow local realtors for their knowledgeable shauna is the most skilled shauna is a certified facilitator for woman within shauna is an arizona native shauna is a 29' tall porcelain doll created by the team of rustie and donna rubert shauna is 20 and recently graduated from pittsburgh technical institute where she studied multimedia design shauna is so happy that she has a buddy shauna is currently a junior at cal poly shauna is a passionate and devoted teacher shauna is an enthusiastic advocate and performer of contemporary music shauna is an original?poet shauna is a shauna is working with youth unlimited and has developed workshops for youth groups and worship teams/leaders on worship shauna is a twelve year old girl with chronic renal failure from reflux nephropathy and hypertension shauna is forced to make a heart breaking decison shauna is considering a medical shauna is connected to the following things shauna is connected to because shauna is a member of the periodical writers association of canada shauna is responsible for the management of 13 different programs and services offered by the society including shauna is the daughter of marie and john novicki shauna is responsible for membership services for the michigan association for child care providers shauna is my current dog shauna is an accomplished performer who has been singing shauna is lovely as she is close up gagged on screen shauna is the idaho angler?s long shauna is a terrific athlete who is very explosive to the basket shauna is wearing a black adidas hat with a white logo shauna is cooled after this incident as he doesn't want to lose his daughter shauna is working within a salary range of $40 shauna is a 2001 graduate of central missouri state university in warrensburg shauna is a 'lumpy' scrapbooker who loves to layer her pages with three shauna is one busy scrapper shauna is highly active in her community shauna is a comedian who lives in my apartment shauna is now living in a foster home shauna is a college student at the church shauna is now attending college shauna is currently assisting with special projects shauna is a previous national level gymnast as well as a national level trampolinist shauna is a stunning tv/ts and her website features details of her services at her private and discreet residence in london shauna is responsible for the general management of the business shauna is currently a spokesperson for the racing for the rainbow children's charity shauna is not listening shauna is only helping him shauna is fortunate enough to be married to the same man for the last twenty nine years and has one son who is in college right now shauna is coming from shauna is too young to know that she and aidan have been playing santa all these years shauna is hoping to be among the top shauna is the new hotline coordinator for the cleveland rape crisis center shauna is a graduate of the university of missouri and hails from kansas city shauna is a graduate of carleton university in psychology with honours in international development shauna is a big help shauna is also doing a new series of city hospital from southampton shauna is aged 8 shauna is fond of cooking shauna is very skilled with what one might call 'garage shauna is currently a professor of music and co shauna is on portland's a team shauna is the most mentally tough player i have ever had the opportunity to play with shauna is still seeking a way to insure that ballooning doesn't remain a 'sunrise' thing shauna is a very lucky lady shauna is a contemporary folk artist from toronto shauna is an honor roll student at ladera vista junior high shauna is a good person and i haven't and don't ever plan on judging her shauna is vice president and portfolio manager shauna is currently authoring a book on content management shauna is in an elevator that is moving downward at ___ mph shauna is mike's daughter shauna is definitely going to add to our scoring capabilities in the 200 and 400 im shauna is a feisty type shauna is checking her schedule and will know by early next week shauna is currently a junior at plattsburgh state university in ny and shes a communications major shauna is the main character in t8n6n4 shauna is reckless that she drives this way shauna is now attending brigham young university shauna is very excited to be back this summer after working as the leadership coordinator last year and as a counsellor in shauna is proficient in authorware shauna is the vp of engineering and quality assurance at imagebuilder software shauna is the face of the student's union and shauna's job ivolves representing the views of the students to external bodies as well as within the university shauna is an 'eteam' intern and fresh from a field course focused on bc ecology shauna is currently filming the new television series air america shauna is very involved in the community and serves as the spokesperson for kutv's community service segment 'wednesday's child' for the adoption exchange shauna is from a rural background and has participated in an overseas agricultural exchange student program to canada shauna is humble about her role Haha...yes that was super long. Because I feel like pissing all of you off. Have a nice day crazies!
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
05,February,2003
|
Current Song: Homegrown- Give It Up urlLink Where do you fall on the liberal - conservative political spectrum? (United States) brought to you by urlLink Quizilla haha. Politics. I can sorta get in to politics, but only on a philosophical sort of level. I love philosophy. On the other hand, I hate politics on an issue by issue basis. I can't get in to that boring, monotonous shit. I like the full spectrum of things. I can get into political theories and stuff. I think that's why i enjoy reading stuff from Ayn Rand and George Orwell. Because of their great political views and stuff. But man...I'm definately not the type to like get in to all the world matters and business and shit. I just hear briefly and vaguely about what's going on. Anyways, enough political bullshit. I give this 'wonderful democracy' about 100 more years tops. Because there are alot of weaknesses in our government. However, I won't go in to detail about those opinions, because, frankly, I'm not that bored. Ok, adios you crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
03,February,2003
|
Current Song: Less Than Jake- Nervous In The Alley Hmm..I found some song lyrics that really apply to me. Great song: 'I don't want to be the one who's old before their time And loose the wonder that I felt as a child I can't run this race believing I might lose There's still so much to see, so much left to do *~Yes I'll fall before I fly But no one can say I never tried~* Oh we just get one Ride around the sun In this dream of time It goes so fast That one day we look back And we ask...Was that my life I close my eyes and think how lucky I have been To hold the ones I love and share my dreams with them All those sunny days and all those starry skies Good morning kisses and sweet goodnights *~I can't tell them enough Just how much that they are loved~* Oh we just get one Ride around the sun In this dream of time It goes so fast That one day we look back And we ask...Was that my life...' Great song. Beautiful. :-) Well, that's about all kids. Luv ya, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
02,February,2003
|
Current Song: Homegrown- Give It Up Ahhhh. Tired. Why am I posting? Geez I'm sleepy. Oh, and also my parents are gay. Really gay. They don't care that I was out all last night, but heaven forbid I go somewhere today...man, that just sounds too suspicious...omfg they are dumb. Laters crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
01,February,2003
|
Current Song: Mad Caddies- Monkeys Ah man. I had a really depressing dream last night. You see, in my dream, I was with this one guy, and we were both like really hating life..and it was just a really really dark dream. Very sad. So we ended up locking ourselves up in this one place...in this room that didnt have any windows. For a very long time. Like weeks and weeks. And the whole time i just sat there going through fits. I was just going crazy. I had no sunlight, and no one to help me. He left alot...he was quite into the drugs, and need his fix rather often. So it ended up mostly being just me. Completely alone in a small dark room going crazy. I was so hurt emotionally, so depressed that I couldn't even imagine living. After several weeks, I left. I came back out to the world, I guess you could say. But the sad thing was, I felt so lost. Life didn't just brighten up as I'd hoped it would. I felt just as helpless as I had all alone. And it ended kinda happy-like. Except for one thing. I wasn't happy. I mean, talk about a dark dream. It had this message that life is hopeless. Funny thing is, I woke up in a good mood this morning. But I think that's because my room was really warm, and it just felt so nice to wake up to. Yeah, so...today will be good. Because if I wake up in a good mood, then it has to be good. It's the rules. Well, not much else to say. Au revoir crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
31,March,2003
|
Current Song: AFI- Silver and Cold Talk of why everything sucks(sometimes): *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Futant3: what's up CrazyLikeTHAT 87: nm suckingness that's about it CrazyLikeTHAT 87: u? Futant3: haha well nothing much but things are decent Futant3: some things kinda puzzling but still good CrazyLikeTHAT 87: things are way below decent right now for me Futant3: yea I've been reading your blog Futant3: it looks like you have realized that most of your posts are essentially the same CrazyLikeTHAT 87: and i've suddenly realized...that it's not even my business to dictate any of the things that are bringing me down. CrazyLikeTHAT 87: yes,i realize that Futant3: what's so bad about things CrazyLikeTHAT 87: the way horrible people always win. Futant3: umm okay Futant3: i disagree CrazyLikeTHAT 87: the good guy never wins, except in movies Futant3: no I don't think so CrazyLikeTHAT 87: then i must be the bad guy, n be totally unaware of it.. CrazyLikeTHAT 87: ...because i never win. Futant3: you have some pretty negative logic there CrazyLikeTHAT 87: yes, well, coming from an ordinarily pessimistic mind...my logic tends to lean in that direction. Futant3: lol i can see that *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Well, I hafta go get ready for my brother's band concert. Fun. Au revoir, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
30,March,2003
|
Current Song: The Ataris- The Hero Dies In This One I didn't go to school today. I just didn't feel like it. I've gotta start all over again...making things simple and happy. I don't like having to start all over. I wish I wasn't running around in circles all the time. Which is why I have to just move on. Again. I have something to do today. Something important. Well, not of some amazing importance, but something that is gonna help me get up on my feet again. And it's going to make me happy. I need to take care of that today. A day off can really be refreshing. I'm definately feeling better than I was yesterday. I think another part of me moving on is figuring out who my friends are. What's funny is that my friends are who they've always been...I've just failed to take notice in all the chaos of everything. I want to get back to being content. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* On another note, I've done nothing exciting lately. Nothing is really that exciting. God, I am sick of posting about all this stupid shit. All this blah blah life sucks but it'll get better...who cares? Things are fine. Everything is fine. People overreact about everything. I'm very VERY guilty of that. Haha, ahhhhhhh, whhhy do I overreact? No more overreacting. That's my goal for the rest of my life. No more freaking out over stupid shit. Well, crazies, I have things to do today. Later.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
30,March,2003
|
How can you have a beautiful ending without making beautiful mistakes? I like that quote. I like it alot. It says more about me than you could ever imagine. '...The leaves are scattered on the ground I miss the seasons, and the comfort of your smile. Sometimes this all feels like a dream I'm waiting for someone just to wake me up, from this life....' ...As I sit here all alone I wonder how I'm supposed to carry on When your gone... I'll never be the same without you I love you more than you will ever know...' ..Do you ever feel like crying? Do you ever feel like giving up? I raise my hands up towards the sky I say this prayer for you tonight Because nothing is impossible.' *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Well, I went to the races today. It sucked. Blah. Make beautiful mistakes, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
29,March,2003
|
Current Song: Less Than Jake- Automatic I've been doing alot of thinking lately. What's new. I've just been thinking about why some people feel this need to impress everyone. It's like they're different around everyone just so they can fit in. It's annoying, and it's fake. I hate fakes. But I just don't get how people can change their opinions so easily to conform with what someone else thinks. Or how they model their opinions so that everyone can see how godly, intelligent, and moral they are. You know what I think? Who cares! I feel that if you feel the need to prove morality and intelligence to someone, then maybe you're just trying to fool yourself. So why don't you just go dig a hole, climb in, and prove yourself to the dirt. It's obviously got more substance than you do. Rants. Must love rants. I feel like ranting alot. But I'm kinda sad about stuff, and when things get me down, I tend to rant in this broad, generalized fashion. Sometimes, things really suck. And escaping your problems doesn't fix that. And it's too bad I haven't learned that yet. See, I could preach to people that escaping your problems won't make them go away, but I know that I don't take that advice. I'm still off looking for ways to make my problems magically disappear or just clear up, without ever really facing them. And so what? It's a learning process. Everything in life is a learning process. You have to break every rule before you can truly enforce it. That's my theory at least. I think that doing otherwise is narrow-minded. Yeah, maybe I'll eventually figure out how to deal with things better. I just hate when everything you want seems so far out of reach. Well, crazies, that's enough ranting for today. Adios.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
28,March,2003
|
Current Song: Lagwagon- Sick Hmm. Today wasn't really all that great. Okay, it wasn't good at all. Alright, so it completely sucked and couldn't have been much worse. I guess I'm just going through some down time. It really sucks because lately I've just been feeling so wonderful, and then I dug myself into a hole I've already been in before. I just can't care. I have to stop caring about stuff and move on. 'Baby, baby stay Stay right where you are I like it this way It's good for my heart I haven't felt like this In God knows how long I know everything's gonna be okay If you just stay gone.' Hmmm...stuff sucks and wow. But I'll get over it. I'll dig myself out of this and it'll all be for the better. Faith in better days, crazies. C-ya.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
27,March,2003
|
Current Song: The Ataris- Boys of Summer Hmm. What a day. So this morning I was having a shitty morning. And so was Rachel. So when the 2 minute bell rang we decided to fuck it and skipped 1st period. We went to Waffle House, bitched and ranted for a while, and then came back for 2nd period. It cheered me up a bit. So then. That's about it. Yeah. Okay, I'm a fucking loser. See ya crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
25,March,2003
|
Current Song: Rancid- Time Bomb :-) :-) :-) That's all there is to say. I'm feeling optimistic. I'm feeling wonderful and fortunate and...I don't even know. It's a relief. It's pleasant. Today was pleasant. Have a lovely day, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
24,March,2003
|
Current Song: None Got tickets to the Less Than Jake concert April 4th at Deep Ellum Live. Kick ass. Haha, funny stuff: CRAZYrAE86: i named my mustang roxanne 8-) CrazyLikeTHAT 87: awwww, cool CrazyLikeTHAT 87: so like...roxy CRAZYrAE86: lol yep CRAZYrAE86: yea for short CrazyLikeTHAT 87: haha si CRAZYrAE86: my mom actually said it first and i was like yes thats the name i was looking for CrazyLikeTHAT 87: haha awesome CRAZYrAE86: haha CRAZYrAE86: it just goes..rachel red mustang roxanne CrazyLikeTHAT 87: haha nice CRAZYrAE86: but yea.. CRAZYrAE86: lol CrazyLikeTHAT 87: i'll name my car myrtle. cuz it's a shitty name. CrazyLikeTHAT 87: for a shitty car. CRAZYrAE86: hahaha CRAZYrAE86: myrtle..lol thats great CrazyLikeTHAT 87: haha yes yes CRAZYrAE86: im seriously going to call it that from now on k CrazyLikeTHAT 87: haha me too That's all the excitement Shauna has for today. Until tomorrow, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
23,March,2003
|
Current Song: Cursive- The Night I Lost The Will To Fight I hate school. And I can't figure out whether I think too much or I just don't think enough. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am ordinary. I am typical. People don't have to prove themselves to me, I don't care. And I don't feel the need to prove myself to anyone. People don't have to be extraordinary to see eye to eye with me. I can see eye to eye with most people. You don't have to be on some godly level to measure up...please don't try to be on that level. I'm not, I'm nowhere near, and I never will be. And that's fine. I have expectations for myself, but those expectations aren't to be the smartest or the prettiest or the richest or the greatest at anything. I don't want to be outstanding; I don't want to be amazing. I don't think I could be if I tried. My expectations are high, but they don't revolve around proving anything to anyone. I don't need to feel competitive with anyone. I don't want to fight with the world to prove myself in any way. I don't want to be spectacular. I don't care if the people around me are extraordinary either. Extraordinary has nothing to do with being beautiful or intellectual or successful, but extraordinary has become that. So I don't care about extraordinary. I'm fine with typical. Typical makes me happy, and happiness is the only thing I care about in this world. If I'm happy, I mean, If I'm completely happy, then I've met every expectation on my list. Call me an under-achiever, I'd call myself an over-achiever. So while the world is out there trying to be 'beautiful' and 'intellectual' and 'successful', I'll just sit back and try to be happy. While the world is modeling their looks, throwing their heads into books, working to get into 'top 5' colleges, trying to make it into a high paying proffession...I'll be meeting my goals. And by the time the world gets as far as their goals can take them, and when they seem on top of the world, I'll be happy. And my, how puzzled they may be, as I smile back at them as they bask in their success. Because I'll never see the world on a different level. The world will never outrun me. As long as I am happy, no one will ever be too far out or reach. No matter how extraordinary the world becomes, I will stay typical. I will stay ordinary. But I'm content with ordinary. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, I suppose I've just gone and run off with myself. Go on; be extraordinary, crazies. I'll see ya later.
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
23,March,2003
|
Current Song: Hot Rod Circuit- The Pharmacist Geebus I am tired. Hahaha what a night. lie awake wondering if things could have been much different second chance whats become of a friendship if you can call this one stayed in touch stood behind while i gave you space and you invade mine while everyone makes mistakes you let me down for the last time truth prevails and theres nothing you can hide and i wash my hands of you getting on with my life wanna call and catch up but no matter what i know you still suck took the drugs from my friends whatever were you thinkin? stayed in touch stood behind while i gave you space and you invade mine while every one makes mistakes.... you let me down for the last time truth prevails and theres nothing you can hide and i wash my hands of you getting on with my life you let me down for the last time truth prevails and theres nothing you can hide and i wash my hands of you getting on with my life if the shit remains the same it makes no difference in this stupid world we know you let me down for the last time truth prevails and theres nothing you can hide and i wash my hands of you getting on with my life...... I like that song. I like the lyrics. It's a great song. Well, I'm outta here crazies. Have fun.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
21,March,2003
|
Current Song: AFI- ...but home is nowhere Well, I'm still on my diet. 20 grams of carbs a day. And umm...it's difficult. Extremely. I woke up this morning and I felt all shaky and I could hardly walk. But I figure once my body gets adjusted to ketosis, then I shouldn't have that problem. I haven't been doing much lately. I've been lazy...really lazy. I'm sort of on this mission to recreate myself. Mentally, physically and emotionally. It's a project that I hope I'm able to accomplish. I HATE FAKES. Keep it real, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
18,March,2003
|
Current Song: All American Rejects- My Paper Heart Hmm, there is much to catch up on. Saturday we went back to special order my dress...and they had my size! So hooray to that, I won't be going naked to banquet this year. Saturday night was crazy. haha. Oh my gosh. Grape Schnapps is the worst stuff ever. There is nothing worse. Nothing. Me and Rachel had to drink that nasty nasty CRAP. I almost died. We even tried mixing it with coke. Didn't help. Only made it that much worse. Also, I spilled Grape Schnapps, Grape juice and whiskey in my room. Congrats, Shauna. Then, at FIVE am Sunday morning we went for donuts dressed like crazies, and then got followed by a crazy white car. Yesterday, went to Six Flags, and saw this great band with this super super hot guitar player. Wow, he was hot. And then he came up and talked to us, which was mucho coolness. Did I mention that he was amazingly hot? Yes, well, that's about all. I'm starting my diet today. Wish me luck. Crazies make the world taste better. Later.
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
15,March,2003
|
Current Song: AFI- Girl's Not Grey Hmm...well, I figured I should post something. I went shopping today. I found the most amazing banquet dress. It was absolutely wonderful, and I'm very picky, so that says alot. Well, of course, they don't have my size. But I swear to God I will wear that dress or I'll go naked. I'm hoping they can specialy order my size. Because GAH I need that dress. The one size I tried on was just a BIT too small, and all the other sizes were huge. But it's so pretty.... :( Oh, also this: Well, I'll talk to you crazies later. Leave me something in my chatterbox, k? Adios.
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
13,March,2003
|
Current Song: The Ataris- so long, astoria Well hello crazies. It's nice to be back. I got back from Florida yesterday. Man, what good times. We got there Saturday and went to Epcot, though our flight didn't get to stay very long, because we got there last. Sunday we went to Magic Kingdom, and then had to march in our lovely parade. I kept thinking that it was going to rain during the parade, but no. It had to be burning hot instead. Oh, but afterwards it rained! That was pretty nice too, because we needed that cool weather. Haha, and let's not talk about Me, Manda and Candace's little freak out incident when we got back to Epcot. :-P So then Monday we went to MGM, and that super cool. Me, Manda, Brad, and Neal got stuck doing this show in the backlot tour. Let's talk about that. So we're walking up to get in line for it, and this lady like pulls us aside and asks us to do the show, and we didn't even agree before she like shoved us back into this little room-like thing where we had to take off our shoes and sock, put on nasty, smelly black boots and this blue suit. I can not describe the stench of that thing. It was the worst thing I have ever smelled. So then, we get to go get water drenched on us. I was the mechanic, so I got it the worst of all. Lovely. So for the rest of the day we smelled absolutely horrid. Then the four of us plus Stuart and Sharon all went back to Magic Kingdom for a little while, until it closed. Then, on Tuesday we went to Universal Studio's Islands of Adventure. That was lots of fun. Well, after we got back, they told us they were going to wake us up at 3 a.m. So our room (Me, Candace, Amanda and Espi) decided that there was no point in sleeping. Well, one frappuccino and 5 cups of coffee later, it was 3 and we were off the walls. By the time we had to get on the buses, I think everyone else wanted us dead. I actually heard people saying things like 'oh my gosh, someone shut them up!' But oh well, good for them, I found it rather amusing. Even the chaperones were getting rather angry. So our plane got home first, because we had a straight flight, unlike the other two, and so I went out to IHOP with my family, then came home and took a 6 hour nap. It was nice. Also getting 12 hours of sleep last night was quite grand. Well, that's my trip. We had a damn good time, and now I'm finally all rested up. So, that's all I have to say. I'm out, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
05,March,2003
|
Current Song: Hot Rod Circuit- The Pharmacist Hmm...today was nothing out of the ordinary. It never really is. I have this feeling that I'm anticipating a change of pace that might never come. I don't want to be let down, but I don't want to become faithless that things can change, and turn around. I used to despise change. I was the type of child who loathed the idea of altering my daily routine of life. I became accustomed to a certain order of things, and I would attack anything or anyone that tried to change that. From the time I woke up, to the time I went to bed, I liked everything to be a certain way as I knew it. If some small detail altered, I freaked out. But, obviously, things eventually started to change.That routine started to ruin me, and I grew more and more sick of it. In fact, I was downright disgusted with it. To this day, routine life is something I can handle no more than I can slitting my own wrists. Because it's something that would slowly drag me down. Slowly and painfully. I've become more spontaneous; I like change, and I enjoy just being unpredictable. Because if life isn't unpredictable, then what hope is there for the future? Well, I'm outta here to study for crazy stupid finals. Be crazy, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
04,March,2003
|
Current Song: AFI- Exsanguination Life is like playing a long, exhausting piece of music. Every note is just another chance to either make something amazing of it, or completely ruin it. Once you miss more and more notes, it becomes harder to salvage the integrity of the piece. And your audience is full of skeptics and critics and composers who are sure they gave you your only opportunity, and feel they have the ability and overwhelming right to take it all away. You typically start off playing lively and attentively, mastering articulations and dynamics, and trying with all your effort to capture the essence of what has been laid in front of you. But after a while, that liveliness drones off into a monotonous stride through notes and rhythms. You become so bored with this once wonderful piece of music, that you start missing all your accidentals, and other little unique bumps in the road. Sometimes you have the urge to simply stop playing all together. But you drudge through and eventually find yourself perking up as the style begins to change, and your interest is reinstated in the piece. And soon enough you find yourself in a grand, regal finale, and as you near the end, you kinda wish you could go back and play it again; go back and correct your mistakes, and make the most of it. But your music isn't lined with repeats, so you do your best to turn your finale into something spectacular; and if you fight your way vigorously through the end, your audience will be quite pleased. There...stupid band got the best of me. Thank God I'm quitting. Well, I'm gonna go do some homework or something. Play vigorously, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
02,March,2003
|
Current Song: The GetUp Kids- Forgive and Forget Hah, I'm trying to get a counter for on here at urlLink OkCounter.com , and I'm thinking this site was originally is Korean, because it gives a Korean language option, and it reads this way in English: For free use OKcounter, you must join one of under present site After sign up one of under site, you can see Enter button on bottom.. It will take several minute.. wait for appear Enter button Haha I have no idea what this ad is, but it's funny: I'll talk at ya later, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
30,April,2003
|
Current Song: Eels- Novocaine For The Soul Well hello everyone. I've had a pretty good day. TAKS this morning...that completely sucked. Then I got chewed out after band. Bah, that was pretty funny though. Wow, what a dumbass. For our Girl's Night Out, we went to Cotton Patch and then to Baskin Robbins for free scoop night. Heck yeah. Yeah, so today's been interesting. Quite good. Not a whole lot else to say really. Enjoy your free ice cream, crazies. Later.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
29,April,2003
|
Current Song: Thursday- Jet Black New Year I have many things to say. But I just don't feel like saying them all. I feel like my life is on a timer. And, well, technically it is, but I have this feeling of running out of time. Isn't it odd? I feel like if I don't take care or certain things, then they'll never get done. There's alot I'd like to say right now...but I'll get around to it. All in good time. Some of it is good, some is bad, and all of it is to my benefit. Things are going to start working out for me...because I'm going to make them. And not in the raving, evil bitch style that some people prefer...but I'm going to do things the right way. What's funny is I'm confusing myself right now. My head is lost right now. I don't think I will ever understand how people can so willingly shelter themselves from the world. How they can be so judgemental of people, and of actions and things that they refuse to even understand. Shame on you mindless followers. People are hypocrites. They claim to be so unique, and insist that their minds are so superior and different and they think unlike anyone else. Well guess what? You aren't special. You act as though you're some connoiseur of the world, while you refuse to even give anything a try. How much can one actually know without first hand experience? Very little. When you refuse to have an open mind, and to be objective, you simply become another mindless follower. Well, I have kickboxing in a little bit, hooray! Actually it's in like 2 1/2 hours. Haha. Mmm, times are good. They could be better, and hopefully they will be. But nevertheless, I'm content. Be open-minded, crazies. And love your local hippie.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
27,April,2003
|
Current Song: Mad Caddies- Monkeys Why do we plot such a beautiful, dramatic destruction of ourselves? Why is it that we lose concern for our future, and our well being? And why don't we care? Why do we allow or lives to spiral in a downfall to such depths of destruction? Why...because our recovery is beautiful. We lose control, and we lose ourselves. A lost soul is a painful thing, but in the end, it's findings are lovely. Falling astray is a thrill, a dramatic escape. I'm sick of drama. Sick of the downfalls, and the recoveries. I'm well over the destruction. I think my randomness is complimentary of my extreme fatigue. Keep it random, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
25,April,2003
|
Current Song: None Banquet was awesome. Everyone was lovely, and everything was lovely. Fantastic time. I'm tired. People are changing so much. I'm certainly no exception, and certainly not complaining. I like change. I think people have every right to do whatever they want with their lives. Change can be a beautiful thing. I'm confused. About alot of things. I don't know what I want...or what I'm supposed to want. I am torn in a million different directions. I keep saying I'm going to just run with things, and just take risks and chances...but I don't. I feel kind of like I'm falling behind in many different ways. I don't feel horridly depressed. I feel sad. I feel a little down. I'm just kind of stuck. I'm sitting at a crossroad with a million different paths, and I couldn't begin to know which way to turn. There is no continuing where I'm heading, because I've already forgotten where I came from. Everyone else is moving along. Why can't I? It's hard to smile. Impossible not to sigh. But I'm not complaining, as long as I don't sit idle for too long. I just want to move on. Ahhh, on a lighter note...omg Amanda I so want to put a certain something in here, but umm...I wouldn't want to come off as so much of a huge bitch as someone else. Hahahahaha, jesus, so great. I feel tired. And sick. And sad. But I'll get over it all. Definately the first 2...hopefully the third as soon as possible. It's typical. Have fun, crazies. Later.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
25,April,2003
|
Current Song: AFI- ...but home is nowhere Well, the days have not been bad. Man, I love this song. You just have no idea. Today's been a bit of a downer. I hate to say it, but i needed this. Sometimes I need to sigh a little bit, rather than just pretend that I'll be happy forever. I can't pretend that that sort of thing would ever happen. I don't like to pretend. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've been happy lately. I am happy. Things are good and life isn't worth getting all melodramatic over. But today was just the kind of day that's typical of being human. It's this kind of blah and sadness that I haven't had in a long time. Longer than I can recall. It's just a normal feeling of being down. It's not extreme. And that's why it's so unusual. Because I'm always at extremes. Today calmed me down from that streak of foolish, unruly happiness. About 2 weeks ago I had this horrible breakdown in the midst of my happy streak. It was soo strange. I was just sitting, folding towels like normal, and suddenly I felt weighted down. I felt stressed, and I felt tense, like I was going to snap. I started screaming at my mom and just spazzing out and I still have no idea why. I was screaming at the top of my lungs, hyperventilating, going crazy...and I don't know why. And then I started crying. I was bawling and sobbing so hard, for like 15 to 20 minutes. Then I just stopped. I sat there and just blanked out, stared off, and my mind went blank. It was like I had no more emotions left in me. I was drained. It was frightening, but calming. But today isn't like that. It's more normal, it's just nice. I feel drained of emotions, but in a good way, and without the extremes beforehand. And don't get me wrong, I'm not a dramatic person. I despise drama. I typically don't like talking about blah-de-blah stupid shit. It was just an interesting little occurance that I suddenly felt compelled to write about. I hate drama. The way people wind themselves up in their intricate little soap opera story lines. Life isn't a drama. Life's meant to be enjoyed, not plagued and torn and scattered. So collect yourselves, you insecure children, and learn to stop worrying about things. Don't stress over the past, because it's too late; relax in the present, because nothing is as urgent as you make it; and take the future in strides, because things will take care of themselves. Life's too short to place tears where there could be laughter. Well, tomorrow is banquet (hooray!), and I have a room to clean and a hairstyle to pick out. Stop the drama, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
22,April,2003
|
Current Song: Fall Out Boy- Saturday Futant3: stop wishing for good things to happen and make them happen That's some damn good advice. I'm gonna take it. Be crazy, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
21,April,2003
|
Current Song: None Yep, I'm gonna post a quiz, but I haven't done any in like 50 million years, so don't bitch at me. :-P You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never knows what you're going to come up with next; this creates great excitement and arousal never knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end in a kiss as great as your mystery. urlLink What kind of kiss are you? brought to you by urlLink Quizilla There, there. I'm done now. Later, crazies!
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
20,April,2003
|
Current Song: The Eyeliners- Wishing On A Star Good day. Just simply a good day. Good things. Good things. I can feel them, like an intuition. I'm hoping my intuition is right. :) Well, I really don't have anything important to say today. Have a lovely evening, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
20,April,2003
|
Current Song: Rancid- Ruby Soho Hmm...another boring day. Happy Easter, kids. I have finally realized that I need a change. I big one. I'm sick of my surroundings. I need a little more excitement. A little bit more variety. I need new things, and new people. No, not all new people, but you know. This past week I've been sorta doing different things, and I really really enjoy that. Because I wasn't stuck around the same old people doing the same old things all the time. I don't understand how people can be content living like that. I'm looking for new things. *On another note...I had the best dream in the world last night. I woke up feeling so happy. And I don't remember a thing about my dream. Awesome.* Find new things, crazies.
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
19,April,2003
|
Current Song: The Beatles- Yellow Submarine I'm so tired. Today has been boring. Also, I'm really dizzy. I had kickboxing this morning. Then I came home, got a shower, and just layed around my room all day. Today felt nice. I opened my windows and sorta soaked it all in. The weather made me optimistic of good things. Good things that...that I just wish would happen. Well, I'm so tired. I'm outta here. Make good things happen, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
18,April,2003
|
Current Song: The White Stripes- Seven Nation Army Well, the days have been good, and I need to update. I tried to update yesterday, but it went and was gay on me. So I gave up. Stupid I-net blows. I should probably go to bed soon, because I have to wake up for kickboxing tomorrow morning. Fun. 'I love to eat each and every sprinkle...as I watch the stars twinkle.'~~~ You can thank Rachel for that lovely quote. Bah hah. Well, I think I'm gonna go and probably sleep. Live wildly, crazies. I'll talk to ya later.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
14,April,2003
|
Current Song: The Used- Buried Myself Alive Hmm, time to update. I am sick. It sucks. And I'm so sad and pansy-ish when I'm sick. *sobbing, whining, moping...that's me.* Oh, also I was talking to Rachel and I came up with a constant, and mostly accurate (though not completely), name theorem. The Name Theorem Part One: Guys with a first name containing four letters are hot. Some famous examples: Brad Pitt Sean William Scott 'Drue' from 'Flying Machine' *hell yeah...what a sexy man* Part Two: Girls with a first name containing six letters kick ass. Some of the best examples: Shauna Zajac Rachel Hendrix Amanda Carter Part Three: Guys with a first name containing six letters are not very cool. Part Four: Girls with a first name containing four letters are also not very cool. Note: Parts One and Two in comparison to Parts Three and Four can be referred to as 'The Opposite Factor'. You see, the opposite of 'cool' is 'not cool', therefore the opposite number of letters in a person of the same sex must be opposite in character traits. Part Five: All persons with a first name containing any other number of letters are indifferent. No one really cares. Part Six: A six:four or four:six ratio is a damn good combination. Note: The Name Theorem is somewhat erroneous. If you believe an error has occured, go back and re-check your work. If the error is not in your work, then please consider that The Name Theorem may not necessarily apply to you. And then again, it just might. End. Haha yeah. I get pretty bored. No, don't be some bitch/asshole if that offended you. I wasn't going for offensiveness, so chill and go shoot yourself or something. Well, that's about all I really have to say. Catch ya later crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
13,April,2003
|
Current Song: Chevelle- Send The Pain Below I'm bored. So I decided to post something. I'm so glad things are starting to look up for me lately. I've been really happy lately. You know, maybe I really do have some sort of seasonal depression...because this could possibly be due to the season changes...or even the fact that I've been working out a bunch lately. Nevertheless...whatever the reasons, this is good. '...it's hard to see the pain behind a mask; bearing the burden of a secret storm, sometimes she wishes she was never born.' Ughh, I'm actually having some shitty allergies as of late. Typically, I really don't have bad allergies, but occasionally my eyes get watery and I sneeze a bunch. Ehh, no biggie. I'm kinda having trouble breathing too...and I can tell it's allergy related. I have this whole breathing thing where my sternum gets inflamed and blocks my lungs from expanding all the way sometimes...but that doesn't happen too often and it's a different sort of feeling. Haha it's crazy weird. Anyways, that's enough rambling. Stay cool, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
11,April,2003
|
Current Song: No Use For A Name- This Is A Rebel Song Lately, alot of people have been asking about the whole 'crazies' thing, so I figure that I'll share with you all where I get it from. It's from No Use For A Name's 'This Is A Rebel Song'. Great song. Umm, here are the lyrics...I think you'll get it. I love you my hard englishman Your rage is like a fist in my womb Can't you forgive what you think I've done And love me, I'm your woman And I desire you my hard englishman And there is no more natural thing So why should I not get loving Don't be cold englishman how come you never said you love me in all the time you've known me how come you never say you're sorry i do Oh please talk to me englishman What good will shutting me out get done Meanwhile crazies are killing our sons Oh listen, englishman I've honored you hard englishman Now I am calling your heart to my own Oh let glorious love be done Be truthful englishman how come you never said you love me in all the time you've known me how come you never say you're sorry i do i do So there you go. Finally. Anyways I'm really tired, so I'm thinking a nap is quite called for. Have a lovely day, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
11,April,2003
|
Current Song: Finch- What It Is To Burn Ouch. My legs are going to fall off. And I don't even know what I did. But it hurts like crazy and I look like a gay ass when I walk, cuz my upper thighs are in super major pain. Also I have kickboxing at 10 tomorrow morning. Watch me die. :( Today was good, by the way. Got progress reports, which is good when you have like a damn blow off semester. Had a test in Algebra that I thought was gonna be super hard, but then it was easy. And by saying that, I will jinx myself. I jinx myself alot. Like the other day my brother was sick and I was like 'bah hah loser...at least I'm not sick.' And the next morning, I woke up, and my throat hurt sooooooo bad. Luckily it went away after about 2 days. pwnt: CrazyLikeTHAT 87: nub SmarterChild: Um, that's you! Haha greatness. Hot Rod Circuit is a great band. Listen to 'The Pharmacist'. It's a great song. By a great band. Yeah. 'No, no, no!' *Shakes finger* Haha, no no, you people wouldn't get it. Oh my gosh, so the other day, Rachel and I went running at the park. And we saw these ducks having a threesome. I'm so not kidding. It was two male ducks and a female, and like one male duck would hop on and...ehhrrm...you know...and then it would hop off and the other one, who was waiting patiently for it's turn, would hop on and go at it. Oh my gosh, I never want to see duck sex ever again. I bet you all wanted to hear that story. I'm very random and sporadic tonight. Incoherent. Ah well, I'd rather be cheerful and sporadic then morbidly, depressingly coherent. Sure. Whatever. Anyways, I think I'm gonna go. My contacts are kinda hurting and it's gonna take a while for me to stand up and walk to my room to take 'em out. Have a good evening crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
10,April,2003
|
Current Song: Punchline- Heart Transplant Today was a good day. I went to an ortho appointment after school, bleh but oh well. Then I came home n worked out for a while, and that kicked ass. Did my homework and such, and now maybe I can actually go to bed early tonight! Sweet! Saturday will be a test of my sobriety powers. That's right. I am going to attempt to stay sober. If you're there, help me out. Support me by like beating me or something. Now sobriety doesn't mean I'm not going to drink a bit, but I'm limiting it to where I don't actually get drunk. I get drunk so often, I figure it couldnt hurt to stay sober this once. Oh god I don't think I can do it. We'll see though...we'll see. Well, I'm outta here. Keep it clean, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
06,April,2003
|
Current Song: Fall Out Boy- Dead On Arrival Hmm. Normal day. Didn't really do anything. Okay, did absolutely nothing, but who cares? The only thing that has sucked lately is that we lost an hour because of the gay time changing crap. But besides that, things have been....*and I say this hesitantly, for fear of jinxing myself yet again*...good. Things have been...quite good. There's no purpose in hate. Where will it get you to hate the things you can't change? And if you can change them, what's stopped you thus far? Hmm...I really can't think of much to say. Not much has been going on though, so it's understandable. See you crazies later.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
05,April,2003
|
Current Song: Punchline- Play Wow, the show last night kicked ass. So, we got there around like 6:45-ish, and we met Less Than Jake's tour manager. I think it's kinda funny how he didn't check to see if our names were on any sort of list (because Brad's and Rachel's names weren't), nor did he check to see if we had tickets or anything. He just wrote our names down for the hell of it, and gave us our guest passes and all the cd's and stickers to pass out. Before we headed out to walk around and pass stuff out, Chris and JR stopped in and said hi. That was pretty damn cool. So then we went out and walked around the Arts Festival thing and passed out all of our shit. We got rid of everything (and took our own share) by about 7:45, so we headed inside the club and waited around for a while. Yeah, so it completely kicked ass. Less Than Jake freaking owned. Oh, and we were standing right next to the speakers the whole time (from 8:00 to 12:00), so my ears have been ringing for over 12 hours now, and I'm just kinda waiting for them to stop. Well, my left one stopped ringing eventually, but my right one is still at it. Ahh, mucho greatness. Well, I'm off to go get a shower and such. Have a damn good day, crazies.
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
02,April,2003
|
Current Song: None Well, today wasn't so bad. School was school as usual, nothing too special, but not disappointing. Just...ordinary. Sometimes days like today are just what I need. Nothing to get my hopes up for...nothing to be disappointed by...simply ordinary. Sometimes ordinary is kind of nice. Well, had sectionals after school...pretty gay but it didn't murder me or anything. Went to Hooters after that, and then came home. And that's where I am. Obviously. Wow, I'm so sore from yesterday. Oooh, but it is the greatest feeling in the world. My entire body just aches. It's nice. Less Than Jake on Friday. Hell yes. Did I mention we get to meet them before the show? Haha, yeah, so all you other suckers going, we win. Times like a million. Well, that's all I really have to say. See ya 'round, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
01,April,2003
|
Best Watch Your Back...I'm Vicious: LuCkY05106: you need to get away from them CrazyLikeTHAT 87: seriously CrazyLikeTHAT 87: b/c so help me if they talk to me within the next month i'll probly jump them and rip their arms off. LuCkY05106: haha LuCkY05106: and beat them with them CrazyLikeTHAT 87: haha hell yes CrazyLikeTHAT 87: and then rip their faces off CrazyLikeTHAT 87: so they r faceless armless mutants CrazyLikeTHAT 87: and no1 will talk to them ever again LuCkY05106: haha so true CrazyLikeTHAT 87: i think it's fair...they yell at me...i mutilate them...it works. LuCkY05106: haha LuCkY05106: yea sounds fair *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ^The above is proof that...I'm just a little pissed off. But not to worry, I refuse to let it bother me. On a positive note, I had kickboxing tonight. Oooh, greatness. I forgot how freaking awesome it is...because you die. You die painfully but with pleasure. Haha awesome. Keep it crazy, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
01,April,2003
|
Current Song: The Distillers- Young, Crazed Peeling 'You cannot be wise without some basis of knowledge, but you may easily acquire knowledge and remain bare of wisdom.' ~Alfred North Whitehead That is one of the best quotes I have read in a hell of a long time. Wow I'm tired. I really need to get some energy before kickboxing this evening, or I'll die. I'm so glad to be getting back into kickboxing. It's going to be quite a struggle for the first week or so, but once I get back in to it...oooh, it'll be spectacular. Well, I need to do my homework, maybe read a little bit...wake up alot...you know. All men by nature desire to know. ~Aristotle Fulfill the desire, crazies.
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
31,May,2003
|
Current Song: Less Than Jake- Look What Happened Have you ever felt like you don't really belong anywhere? Have you ever just felt like there's not a place for you with anyone or anything? It's like you've kinda ruined your invitation with pretty much everyone you know. For once, I'm actually feeling a sense of regret. I wish I could just go back in time and change everything. I feel like I've messed everything up. I've lost so many great friendships because I've been stupid and foolish in a million ways. I've ruined my life all in my attempts to make it better. All because my perception of 'better' was something so far from reality. I just wanted to be different and have a life that's a little more exciting than everyone else's. And through that, I've created a life exactly like everyone else's. Somewhere in the last year, I lost hope in good things. And I don't want pity or sympathy or anything, because I'm more apt to run away from that. I'm the only person who can help myself, and I don't want nor need anyone else. I just want to belong somewhere. I'm a drifter, and I'm drifting alone. Find hope in good things, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
26,May,2003
|
Current Song: Fall Out Boy- 'Tell That Mick He Just Made My List of Things to Do Today' I'm so glad summer's almost here. It's a little scary, because I feel so unprepared. Some times I hate this stupid journal. I wish life was simple enough that I wouldn't need some online journal to express my views, rant my opinions or explain my trivial situations. I just want to live in the sunlight for the rest of my life. Screw complications...we create them ourselves. The only reason we do that is because we aren't content with what we have. We're just craving more and more. I think once we reach an honest state of contention...then the complications disappear. And I think we'd all be much more content if we quit wishing for so much more than we have. I hate having a complicated life. I can't say I create all the drama, but I tend to exacerbate it. Sometimes I just have to take a step back to realize that life isn't as bad as it can sometimes seem. Life still feels like a downer most of the time, but being a little down is alot better than being ragingly depressed. I'm just trying to get my life back. Because for a long time, I think I really lost it. I'm just enjoying my time making all those little mistakes. Enjoy it, crazies. Later.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
25,May,2003
|
Current Song: Less Than Jake- Short Fuse Burning Well, this weekend hasn't been all too bad. I'm not sure why I'm updating. I don't have much to say. 3 1/2 more days of school. Amen. Keep counting down crazies!
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
22,May,2003
|
Current Song: Saves The Day- At Your Funeral It's not that I regret the times I've had...only that, given the chance...there are a few things I could have done differently. That popped in my head today. And it's true. I don't have regrets. I don't believe in stressing over the past. Looking back will get you nowhere. Just move ahead. Move on, crazies. Move on. Oh...and don't get grounded for something you did six months ago! Because it sucks.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
19,May,2003
|
Current Song: None Ughh. These past few days have been pure hell. I thought I was supposed to be over all of this. Everything that I ever imagined could go wrong, has. It's like God is punishing me and laughing as he watches me fall and crumble into pieces. But I'm sure in the 'God' perspective of things, I'm as good as dead and burning away in hell. It just doesn't seem fair. Life isn't supposed to be like that. If it really is God punishing me like this, then I'd rather he leave me alone. If it meant that I wouldn't be miserable, then fine. But the fact is that everything is crushing me. And at the worst possible time. A week ago, everything seemed great. I was at a peak. I was happy, things were going great, everything was in anticipation of good things; everything was looking forward to summer. It took only days to knock me down, and only a few more to shatter me. I'm just waiting for the point where I completely break apart into a million unrestorable pieces. I hate this life. It seems as though any life I choose ends up for the worst. Maybe I'm too optimistic and not realistic enough. Or maybe I'm just not intended for anything good. I honestly feel completely hopeless. I guess that's just how life is, crazies. Too much drama.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
17,May,2003
|
Current Song: Chevelle- Send the Pain Below Sometimes I feel like hating life. However, today isn't one of those times. I suppose I'm just frustrated. Lately, everything has gone quite downhill. Alot of stuff that I thought was over with has come back to kick me in the ass. It sucks. And it all came at a very inopportune time. But I'll get over it. Stay out of trouble crazies.
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
12,May,2003
|
Current Song: None Wow. I feel so mellow. I never feel like this. mmmmm....i like it. Today was usual. Nothing too exciting. I can't wait until summer. Summer is so wonderful for me. It's like a drug...an addiction. I soak it in to my skin so deep, I let it creep through my body, I let it take it's full effect. I just sit back as it strolls by. And when it's gone I feel as though I need it. I have to have it. I can't go a day without it. And I trudge mournfully through winter until summer comes back again. I love summer. I'm so happy. Everything about it is absolutely amazing. Cha-ching. Well the mellow-ness is gone. Kinda. I'm just sorta insane now. As usual. Bah hah. Get your gay ass algebra projects done, crazies.
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
11,May,2003
|
Current Song: Prodigy- Firestarter I hate AIM. It's gay. And sucks. AND IT WON'T WORK! So if anyone actually reads this, e-mail me at: Designgurl13@hotmail.com Because I need to talk to people n such. Haha. DLP was last night, and of course was much drunken fun. Cha-ching. *No! Don't make me spill my beer on the ground! The ants will get drunk!* Haha sweet jesus. Just got back from rollerblading. Me and Manda skated between 9 and 10 miles. Freaking awesome. Well, not much else to say. Be sure to kill AOL/Time Warner for me crazies. Later.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
10,May,2003
|
Current Song: Dropkick Murphys- The Gang's All Here The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell! Here is how you matched up against all the levels: Level Score urlLink Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Low urlLink Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Very Low urlLink Level 2 (Lustful) High urlLink Level 3 (Gluttonous) Moderate urlLink Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) High urlLink Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Very High urlLink Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) High urlLink Level 7 (Violent) Very High urlLink Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) Very High urlLink Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) Very High Take the urlLink Dante's Inferno Hell Test Cha-ching. Check it out crazies.
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
06,May,2003
|
Current Song: Bad Religion- 21st Century Digital Boy Posting again. Because I feel like it. Found some gooooood lyrics. They make sense to me. It's been a long time since I've been close to you It's been a long time since I've been sad. It's been a while since I've really spent time with you Wish I could take back the times that I had. The only thing that you ever really did for me Was make me oh so miserable. And the hope that I never see your face again Is anything but questionable. I hope this is goodbye. I hope this is goodbye. There was a time when I thought you were a friend to me I think those times I was probably just drunk. And if they offered a test about being a good friend I'd put money down that you'd surely flunk. The only thing that you ever really took from me Were my records to sell them for dope. Now all I have left is this heart in my chest And my happiness helping me cope I hope this is goodbye [x4] It's been a long time since I've been close to you. It's been a long time since I've been sad. It's been a while since I've really spent time with you. Wish I could take back the times that I had. The only thing that you ever really did for me Was make me oh so miserable. And the hope that I never see your face again Is anything but questionable. There was a time that I thought you were a friend to me I think those times I was probably just drunk. And if they offered a test about being a good friend I'd put money down that you'd surely flunk. The only thing that you ever really took from me were my records to Hawk them for dope. Now all I have left is this heart in my chest, Your dishonesty helping me cope. I hope this is goodbye. I hope this is goodbye.... Great song, awesome lyrics. AIM is still being gay. And I'm still procrastinating. Keep it clean, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
06,May,2003
|
Current Song: Alkaline Trio- Jaked on Green Beers Ahhhh. So tired. Went to see The Buffingtons play at The Door in Dallas last night. They freaking kicked ass as usual, but the crowd was so shitty. Oh well, the guys did a damn good job, and it was quite spectacular. So then I had to wake up for kickboxing this morning. Fun. Gah...so much lack of sleep. And, AIM isn't working. Stupid crap. I should just kill it. Well, not much else to say. I have sooooo much to do today...suckfest. Later crazies!
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
06,May,2003
|
Current Song: NOFX- Anarchy Camp Yep. Guess what day it is? May 6th. Yep, 506. So, I wake up this morning, completely unaware of the date and such. And then my blow dryer catches fire. And I don't mean, it starts shorting out and sparking...I mean it's on fire. Flames and smoke and such. I dropped it, shaking, and unplugged it, and stood in shock for a few moments before thinking to myself, 'Oh, that's right...it's 5/06.' Yes, lovely. Oh, and the new Fall Out Boy CD came out today, but Best Buy sucks and didn't have it. Jerks. Well, that pretty much covers it. Later crazies. Can't wait till 5/06 is over.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
05,May,2003
|
Current Song: Story of the Year- So Far So Good Well, today wasn't a horrible Monday. It was actually somewhat good. I came home and took a lovely 2 hour nap. Tomorrow I have the Chemistry letter K test after school, and then I have kickboxing that evening. Then Wednesday is Girl's Night Out, Thursday I'm hoping to do my second interview for Algebra, and Friday I'm going to the Door in Dallas, because THE BUFFINGTONS!!!!!!!!! are playing. Quite a week ahead I suppose. Fun. Well, I can't think of much else to say. Keep yourselves busy, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
04,May,2003
|
Current Song: Dropkick Murphys- Get Up Sometimes I have to wonder what life has become. It simply drones on with lack of excitement. It is plain, in it's monotonous hues of black and white. I fall asleep to wake up on a bare mattress in a dark room, as a result of my own laziness and lack of concern for anything around me. I sit around and reminisce about the past, and it's vibrant colors that used to illuminate this empty world I'm living in. I am not depressed. I am not sad and discontent in the world. I'm just looking for a little more excitement. I think I'll go open the curtains, and let some light in. I found some old memories in file cabinets near the windows. I let some color seep through the blinds. There is optimism in the sky today. But I don't feel very lucky. Maybe tomorrow I can match the mood of the rest of the world. Maybe the vibrant colors will soak through my skin. Maybe I will mix into the palate of blues and greens. And my world will not be so grey. Bye crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
02,May,2003
|
Current Song: Eels- Jungle Telegraph Ahh. I am so sleepy. And my eyes hurt. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh....I got pwned today. So me and Rachel pull up at Starbucks...and I'm about to get out of her car, n the window is down but there is that front window thing that's still up of course. And something compells me to lean forward as I'm hopping out rather quickly. And I gashed my head on the corner of that window, so i have a huge cut down the side of my face. So it looks like I got in a fight. Lovely, but hilarious. I was cracking up, it was greatness. Except for the redness and swelling and stinging around the temple area. I have been soooo accident prone lately! Oh my GOSH...it's not cool. Saturday, I cut my knee on the corner of my bed while I was making it. Monday or Tuesday I slipped while getting in the shower, and hit my shin. Wednesday I cut my finger on our cracked stove (lousy lousy piece of shit...I was like 'omg it's cracked...' so i ran my finger along it, not realizing it was cutting me), and then later that night I nearly broke my middle finger by smashing it while opening a cabinet door. And now this. Could I be much more cursed? Am I really that unlucky? Why won't my luck just change for once??? Not only am I physically jinxed, but everything else pretty much sucks lately as well. Sometimes it seems as if I have the worst luck in the world. And I have kickboxing tomorrow. So I should probably sleep. Be careful, crazies. It's a cruel and dangerous world out there.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
01,May,2003
|
Current Song: Misfits- American Psycho Ahhh. Long day. It was blah. I almost felt sad today. Maybe just because I feel like I'm having a stroke of...bad luck. Maybe God is punishing me because he hates me. If God exists, I bet God does hate me. And This Is Why I'm Such a Crazy: Futant3: did you hear that you are a alcoholic? CrazyLikeTHAT 87: really? Futant3: yea that's what I heard CrazyLikeTHAT 87: hmm...that's interesting CrazyLikeTHAT 87: i'll have to ask myself about that. Futant3: i suggest you do then maybe you can get in that center with jack osburne CrazyLikeTHAT 87: hmm...i'd fuck him. CrazyLikeTHAT 87: that might be fun Futant3: *throwing up* CrazyLikeTHAT 87: no, there wont be throwing up CrazyLikeTHAT 87: because we will be sober Futant3: you know its hot when chicks talk dirty Futant3: no I would be throwing up for the both of you CrazyLikeTHAT 87: well okay CrazyLikeTHAT 87: then maybe u should get help CrazyLikeTHAT 87: maybe YOUR the alcoholic CrazyLikeTHAT 87: sir. Futant3: lol Futant3: but I don't drink that much CrazyLikeTHAT 87: but if you're puking then something must be wrong. Futant3: and I would be throwing up because of you fucking him CrazyLikeTHAT 87: i suggest YOU go to that center CrazyLikeTHAT 87: then you can fuck jack osbourne Futant3: i think I would choose you over him thanks CrazyLikeTHAT 87: no, i think you two could have fun Futant3: because first I am not gay and he is a fucking ugly guy CrazyLikeTHAT 87: so if he was a hot guy would u fuck him? Futant3: lol. no CrazyLikeTHAT 87: what if you were drunk? seeing as how you're an alcoholic CrazyLikeTHAT 87: you should get help. Futant3: you know I prefer we talk about me fucking you in a center. it doesn't trigger my gag reflex CrazyLikeTHAT 87: no...i said i would fuck jack. Futant3: :'( CrazyLikeTHAT 87: but since you're the drunk...you can instead. Futant3: no i don't think so CrazyLikeTHAT 87: did you hear that you are an alcohlic? Futant3: and who said I was drunk Futant3: or an alcoholic Futant3: why would you fuck jack Futant3: that makes you pretty sick CrazyLikeTHAT 87: no...that obviously makes YOU pretty sick CrazyLikeTHAT 87: ..it just turns me on. Futant3: wait I am lost...what turns you on? CrazyLikeTHAT 87: fucking jack. Futant3: why CrazyLikeTHAT 87: because... CrazyLikeTHAT 87: i dont know CrazyLikeTHAT 87: ...so anyways... CrazyLikeTHAT 87: im a drunk? Haha. God I'm so weird. Well, I'm outta here crazies. Au revoir.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
24,June,2003
|
Current Song: Alkaline Trio- Jaked On Green Beers Well, I'm leaving tomorrow for Pennsylvania. Two whole weeks. It's scary. I mean, it's such horrible timing. The way things are being left open and so unclear. There's not alot of clarity in my life right now, and all of a sudden I have to get up and leave it on hold for two weeks. The sad thing is that I don't think things will sit around and wait for me while I'm gone. But I guess I need to be positive. I need to think that two weeks away may clear things up. That way, when I get back, whether things are the way I want or not, at least they won't have me spinning in circles. And a vacation is always nice. Well, I need to do some packing and perhaps some other things as well. Well, if I don't get around to posting again...I'll see you crazies in two weeks!
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
23,June,2003
|
Current Song: Less Than Jake- Plastic Cup Politics Haha...wow, had a great time in Dallas. We caught the train at Richland Hills and headed out there, etc etc. Got drinks, chips and queso at the Cocktail Lounge in Reunion Tower. Then we rode over to the West End, and ate at Spaghetti Wharehouse. Oh, then Becky got hit on my some 14 year old boy. He was like 'You remind me of a famous person, with your boobies and all.' Hahahaha it was FREAKING HILARIOUS. Oh, then some crazy hobo man offered to get us fake ID's and jobs at a strip club. Wow. That was interesting to say the least. Well, I'm shortening the whole of the venture, because I don't feel much like typing. To sum it up, I had a great day today. C-ya round, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
23,June,2003
|
Current Song: None It's My Birthday! Yes, so let me explain this morning. Err...last night, this morning...it's hard to tell. I went to bed at 1:30. At 2:30 I was awoken...to find that Becky, Amanda, and Rachel had snuck into my house and were making quite a racket to wake me up. First of all...I had no idea what was going on. Then when it finally hit me that they were in my room I was like 'oh my god...what the hell...I freaking hate you guys!' Haha it was outrageous. So before I know it Becky is dragging me out of bed, and putting these outrageous clothes on me (I still am so out of it that I don't know what the hell is happening), meanwhile Rachel and Amanda are taking pictures of my horridity and I'm flipping off their cameras (I'm cranky when woken up). So then they take me outside and into Rachel's van. I'm finally starting to sorta-semi wake up. So by now I have a feeling we're going somewhere, though they claim that we're just 'driving around'. And our driving around takes us to IHOP. Oh God. So I'm like praying that no one else is in on this, so they don't have to see me, tired, make-up-less, and in the most horendous outfit ever created. Oh, but there are more people in on it. So I'm walking into IHOP at 3 am, getting alot of stares, and being cranky, but amused. Haha, my friends kick so much ass. So then we went back to Becky's and got some more sleep. Then tonight the four of us are going to Dallas. Cool stuff. Well, have a spectacular day, crazies! Oh, and I just officially turned 16 about 2 minutes ago. I shouldn't know that, but I have no life. Later.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
22,June,2003
|
Current Song: Less Than Jake- The Science of Selling Yourself Short I've come to my senses that I've become senseless I could give you lessons how to ruin your friendships Every last conviction I smoked them all away I've drank my frustrations, down the drain, out of the way So I sit and wait and wonder Does anyone else feel like me Someone so tired of their routines And disappearing self esteems I'll sing along with every emergency Just sing along, I'm the king of catastrophes I'm so far gone that deep down inside I think It's fine by me, I'm my own worst enemy I could be an expert on codependency I could write the best book on underage tragedy I've been spending my time at the local liquor store I've been sleeping nightly on my best friend's kitchen floor So I sit and wait and wonder Does anyone else feel like me I'm so overdosed on apathy And burnt out on sympathy I'll sing along with every emergency Just sing along, I'm the king of catastrophes I'm so far gone that deep down inside I think It's fine by me, I'm my own worst enemy Let the meanings slip away Lost my faith in another day Self-deprecation seems okay I never though I'd make it anyway Well, just thought I'd post some lyrics before going to bed. Later, crazies.
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
21,June,2003
|
Current Song: Fall Out Boy- Calm Before The Storm I'm angry. Very angry. I spent $15 tonight because we were going to go drink, and had it all planned out. So I spent $15 so some guy could go buy us some alcohol. And, of course, because of the fact that God hates me, plans fell through. So I told Bo he owes me a bottle of vodka. Seeing as how other people are drinking MY alcohol tonight. Urghh. Oh well. Now I get vodka instead of nasty beer and bitch drinks. So I guess in a way I win. Kinda. Well, kiddies, I don't have much else to say tonight. Oh by the way, today was the longest day of the year. I hope you enjoyed it...err, I suppose *yesterday* rather. Party like crazy, crazies.
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739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
21,June,2003
|
Current Song: Alkaline Trio- San Francisco Today pretty much sucked. Nothing was accomplished today. And I've been suffering through a horrible headache. You'd think an assload of aleve would help that sort of thing, but it just makes me feel sick and makes me want to pass out. God, my birthday's in 3 days (closer to two days actually), and I'm not the least bit excited. I think I just don't have a very positive attitude today. I need to lose this skeptic-persona, and try enjoying my life a bit. I'll do that tomorrow. Maybe. I still think God hates me. Really, I do. He's definately out to get me. Or I guess my constant bad luck is just an odd coincidence. Either that or satan is being a bastard, and God is either sitting back laughing at me or he doesn't exist. You know, I don't really care. Religion is a dependency, and I think it's just human nature. We have to find some sort of meaning for everything, some sort of reward for life that follows death. Otherwise I guess people wouldn't see a true purpose in living. I mean, throughout history you have these intellectuals and philosophers who have these great prophecies about some great destiny or some all-powerful being or force that controls everything. Then they gather followers, because they're ideas are so convincing. And different people are attracted to different philosophies. All it takes is a great, convincing leader. Look at Confucius, Jesus, Mohammed...they're just prophets with different philosophies on life. Philosophies that perhaps they invented in hopes for finding some purpose and meaning. Hell, look at Hitler. That man was one of the greatest leaders of our time. His views weren't necessarily on a religious level (nor were they humane), but he felt a conviction for them, and he conveyed his message, and people followed. Basically, people just need something to believe in. I personally, can't say that I have anything that I believe in. I can't really say that, at this point in my life, I need anything. The only thing that truly comforts me is knowing that I have the opportunity to leave something behind me. All I care about in life is impacting people long after I'm gone. Sorry if I've offended anyone with my 'Religion is a dependency' speech. Actually, I'm not sorry. It's my opinion, and I'm not shoving it down your throats. I respect people's decisions about their religion, and infact I admire people that have strong convictions about their religion. So if you throw some royal fit about what I just said, I'm not going to bicker like some immature child, but I'm probably not going to care either. My opinion is mine, yours is yours. So go ahead and spill it to me, but don't shove it down my throat. I don't know many people that do that, in fact I really don't have run-ins with people like that, but just in case any decide to pop up, this is forwarning that I'm open to conversations, not lectures. *Well, I feel like I'm in a better mood now. Odd.* Oh, The Hulk is possibly one of the worst movies ever created. The plot is so barely-there, and you can't go anywhere with it. I wanted to stab myself in the face, because it was that awful. I'm typically not a big movie critic, and I usually like most anything I see.... but it sucked. God almighty, it's plot-line was so shallow and dull that you couldn't have saved the movie if you tried. Well, that's all I have to say for now. Don't ever ever see The Hulk, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
19,June,2003
|
Current Song: Metallica- St Anger Wow today is boring. I finished an entire book. Played Vice City, and got bored actually completing missions, so I ended up seeing how many cops I could kill. And now I'm doing absolutely nothing. Well. I just forgot I was posting something in here, and it's been like 20 minutes since I started this. So I completely lost my train of thought. Take it easy, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
18,June,2003
|
Current Song: Hot Hot Heat- Bandages Life has been treating me very good lately. But...(and there is always that little exception, isn't there? that little catch to optimism that drags it under a bit)...I'm so skeptical of good things. I hate it. I just get so sure that something is going to come knock me off my little pedestal. But ya know what? I'm the only person that can do that. So I have to stop. This is my life and no other force controls it but myself. I am in control of my goddamn destiny. So there. Plain and simple. So back to optimism. Yes...things are going pretty good lately. Ahh, but I don't want this vacation. It's like horrible timing. Always always. Why must my family ruin my life?? I've decided that if God exists...he really really REALLY hates me. He just hates me so much, that he likes to fuck with my mind a little and then kick me down. Ughh. If he doesn't exist, then I'm just a horribly horribly unlucky person. Note to self: You control your life, dammit. So get control of it! Well, that's about it. I am thinking a shower sounds good right about now. Oh...and also: 'Uh oh!' 'You can't fool me. I don't want a room full of pillows.' *Staple spoon.* Hahahaha....God help me. Control your own destiny, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
17,June,2003
|
Current Song: NOFX- Mattersville Wow...I didn't sleep much last night. Okay, now that I think about it I did. Just the fact that at 6 I woke up after a whole four hours of sleep, and I was like tossing and turning and just couldn't fall asleep. Yes, well...anyways. Didn't do too much last night. I have kickboxing today and I really should actually GO, unlike Saturday. My Birthday is Monday, June 23rd....6 days! Hooray! And then I get to leave for vacation. Two weeks. My parents have this great idea to drive all the way to Pennsylvania. Honestly, I'm good with flying. Because a week on the road with my family is like the vacation from hell. I told my mom that and she yelled at me. She insists it's going to be 'fun'. Well I think her idea of fun is very very very messed up. So if anyone would like to kidnap me on my birthday with no intention of returning me...God, I would appreciate it. I would rather drive up there with some psycho killer anyway. Haha yes. Well, I think I'm going to go get a shower now. Kidnap me, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
14,June,2003
|
Current Song: Prodigy- Smack My Bitch Up Well, I've been pretty busy lately. I've been meaning to post stuff in here, but I haven't been home to do that. Thursday I went mud-wrestling (well...sand, rather). That was fun. Yesterday I went to Dallas, and today I woke up too late to go to kickboxing. Suck. Wow...I did have alot to say. I think it's really odd when guys get all shy and timid and stuff. I mean, I guess it's because approach and confidence are really important to me. I just like it when people are confident, rather than making me feel like I have to make all the moves or something. You know...that's just awkward. So boo to awkwardness. Yeah, so I really did have more to say. But I think a shower is much more important at the moment. Thanks and buh-bye, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
12,June,2003
|
Current Song: None *yawn* I'm kinda tired. I'm still not sure what direction my life is heading, but I've been feeling optimistic lately. The one thing I truly hate about my life is that all I have is the hope for good things. Maybe some day they will evolve into something more. Or maybe I'll just spend my life hoping that something good will come my way. And I'll stopped getting so sidetracked by people that keep wasting my time. Because then I lose sight of the people who really matter. Most people are a giant waste of time. I could beat them all senseless. With a large, heavy bat. I think it would be fun. Well...I think I'm gonna go find something actually worthy of my time. *Yes...that sounded conceited. Good. Because my time is valuable. Screw anyone that doesn't think so.* Have a spectacular day, crazies!
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
11,June,2003
|
Current Song: John Mayer- Why Georgia The past few days have been pretty good. Got my hair cut yesterday! It's very short, and it's got red streaks. Awesome. I don't think it's not touched my shoulders since I was 6. Seriously. I'd give an in-depth rundown of the past few days, but it's too much to say, and I doubt that many people care to hear every detail of what I've been up to. Basically, I've just been working out and hanging out with people. But what is there really to do otherwise? You get the idea. Nothing's been all too exciting. I wanna work out today, and I really feel like going bowling tonight. Well, I don't have too much to say that's actually substancial...but who needs substance when things can be simple? If you ask me, sometimes life has too much substance. But only because people create it. Half the troubles we endure originate from our own imagination. That may not seem logical, but it's true. We just create dilemmas in our head that in actuality, don't exist. I think I'm gonna go find some way of wasting time. See you crazies later.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
09,June,2003
|
Current Song: Fall Out Boy- Saturday Wow...I got a whole three hours of sleep last night. Or, this morning rather. I'm doing it again. The whole thing where I don't need sleep because it's summer. I just feel so euphoric and peaceful. So it's about eight right now...and I've been up for an hour already. Yup. Didn't fall asleep until four. But it's as if...three hours is enough. Today is interesting. I feel a sense of anticipation...stupid anticipation, but it's somewhat odd like that. I dyed my hair auburn yesterday, it's interesting. Can't wait till tomorrow. But right now I need to concentrate on making it through today. Not to say that today is a bad thing...it's anything but. I think it's funny how I am. I sit around and wait for something to happen to me. As if some miracle is going to just run up and smack me in the face. I wait for excitement to come to me. I create this image of perfection in my head and sit waiting for it to form into a reality. How silly and foolish. But how normal. I've been doing alot of thinking, as a result of my insomnia. It's good thinking though. (Wow...to note: after I typed that sentence, I noticed that it said 'I've been doing alot of sleeping, as a result of my insomnia.'........Lack of sleep isn't good.) I decided to read through my journal last night, because it was conveniently sitting on my dresser next to my bed. (Quelle coincidence...) It starts off positive, and yes it is for the most of it's entirety, pretty optimistic. But it starts off very religious. And it slowly strays from that. It simply goes to show where I headed over the past few years. I'm not saying that I regret how I've torn away from religion, because I don't regret it. I don't mock religion, nor do I think of it as anything negative (and I'm trying my best to get my point across, without offending half the universe...but hey...this is my journal, and i can write freely my own opinions, and if anyone disagrees...I have a chatterbox for that), I simply feel that it doesn't accomodate my needs. I would go deeper into my opinions on religion, but I understand that it's a debatable subject, and I don't want to cause too much of a controversy over it. Religion isn't typically a subject I like to bring up, because I don't like to infringe on other people's beliefs too much, and I'm not out to try to 'convert' anyone or anything. It's a subject that I enjoy discussing, but only with people who are a bit more open-minded, and not simply eager to bite my head off and smite me. You know. Well...I like the fact that I changed subject at least 4 or 5 times. I suppose that's what a lack of sleep can do to you. I'm gonna head off and enjoy the day...because it is absolutely wonderful. :-) Don't get in too much trouble with the law, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
07,June,2003
|
Current Song: Eels- Novocaine For The Soul I've realized the one thing I absolutely love about summer. Seeing everyone so peaceful and content. God, what a beautiful thing. Today is absolutely beautiful, and when I look around, I just see this perfect ease and contention in everyone. Summer has such an amazing ambience. I feel so at ease, as if nothing in life has to be stressful. And it's true. Nothing in life has to be stressful unless we make it as such. It's something I can say, but being the drama queen that I can be, is often something a bit difficult to grasp. True, I can be so overly dramatic quite often; just ask my parents. I'm passionate about things, and that's why I am the way that I am. And I'm starting to accept that alot more. It's becoming alot easier to laugh at my passionate outbursts; my petty quarrels, and insignificant debates. I'm finally coming to life. And I'm finally starting to appreciate who I am. So, to get to my day now.... Woke up this morning, went to kickboxing, came home and had to rake some brush out in the front yard (so I can get money to get my nails done...because I'm quite broke), layed outside for a little bit, came inside, took a shower and here I am. I think I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat, and then figure out what the plans are for tonight. Come to life, crazies. And enjoy the beautiful day.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
06,June,2003
|
Current Song: Five Iron Frenzy- The Day We Killed Hmm...I did absolutely nothing today. Honestly. Nothing. And I enjoyed it. I think sometimes that random day where you just want to sit around and do nothing is kinda nice. I haven't had a day like this in quite a long time. It's like I always have to be on my feet; doing something, hanging out with someone...just always on the go. Today was nice just being lazy. I think I washed my face about 50000000000000000000000000 times today. I think I'll wash it about 5 more times before bed. I'm glad I'll be busy again tomorrow. And I'm sure I'll find something to do Sunday. I can definately make some schweeet arrangements on Monday, and Tuesday is going to freaking kick ass. If I still haven't told you, in my failed 'efforts' to keep it on the down-low, well...you'll see. Well, I should probably go to sleep soon, since I have to wake up for kickboxing in the morning. Hooray. Keep it on the down-low, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
05,June,2003
|
Current Song: Voodoo Glow Skulls- The Devil Made Me Do It I've been looking back alot lately. At how much everything has changed. Especially myself. But I'm not alone in that aspect, I'm simply alone in that I've trudged off in another direction. I think everyone has their own direction. But quite honestly, it's the mistakes that people make that truly mark how they move forward. It amazes me how foolish I can be sometimes. It's amazing that I've made so many mistakes already , not even considering what I have ahead of me. But the mistakes I feel the most, aren't the ones most people would expect me to feel for. I don't feel regret as much for the things I've done, as I do for the times that I missed out on. I feel for opportunities I lost, and that I screwed up. God, I've screwed up some beautiful things. I've missed out on alot of times that could have been some of the biggest opportunities in my life. Everything I backed out of....God, why do I always do that? Why do I always back out of wonderful things? All I really know is that things will eventually have a way of working out. Maybe not to fit my picture of perfection, but maybe to fit what perfect really is. But I suppose I should update on life. Hmm...it's good. I'm doing what I said I would...I'm making change. I'm trying to find a new life. Who knows, maybe I'm screwing everything up again. My life is like sitting next to a bomb, waiting to see if it explodes. In other words, it's stupid, foolish, and the odds probably aren't in your favor. But that's all I have right now. No regrets, crazies. No regrets.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
04,June,2003
|
Current Song: Catch 22- 9mm and a Three Piece Suit I don't know what it is, but I keep waking up at 9:30 EVERY SINGLE MORNING. It's very odd. I had a dream last night that I really could have done without. It just brought back waaaaaay old memories. It wasn't a bad dream, but it was discouraging. But I'm glad that it was. Because life in that aspect has always been a bit discouraging as well. And I need to forget about it. I love summer so much. I have alot to look forward to this summer. First of all, I can look forward to next Tuesday. But I'm not telling why. Just make it a point to see me in about a week. Ahh, I can't wait. Hopefully I can look forward to this Saturday, because Fall Out Boy is playing at Club Indigo, but I'm not sure if it's an all-age show. If it's not...I'm going to cry. I can look forward to my birthday in 19 days! Of course I don't get my license until late July. A shame. But something else to look forward to nevertheless. There is more, but I suppose I don't want to ramble too much. I think I'll get going now. I've got things to do today. Look forward to great things, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
26,July,2003
|
Current Song: Def Leppard- Pour Some Sugar On Me Humm humm humm. What to say, what to say. Nothing of extreme importance. Nothing bad, that's for certain. But I should bite my tongue and knock on wood before saying that, because every time I think nothing's going wrong, something always does. It's kind of my luck. My life makes me faithless rather often. And then when I go to hang my head, something good eventually comes about. But as soon as I get optimistic, something comes and knocks me down. A vicious cycle. Now you see why I'm a pessimist. Because optimism will only kick you in the ass. I've learned that the hard way a thousand times. Never be sure of the good things in life, because they'll come and go before you get a chance to truly take hold of them. It's the bad things in life that are certain to hang around. See you later, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
24,July,2003
|
Current Song: Tsunami Bomb- Russian Roulette Life's been fair for the past few days. Blah de blah. Etc etc...nothing too exciting, nothing too horrible. A few issues on my mind. Minor, irrelevant type things that are pathetic excuses for problems...but whatever. They are quite mind-boggling. But I can solves them. Pretty simply too. So, all in all, I'm still ahead. And I'll never fall behind. I know how to play my cards right, and I have ways of reading people's intentions before they're actually revealed, giving me an overwhelming advantage. I'm prepared for every battle with full intentions to win the war. To my competitors in every battle I may be fighting: Have fun losing. Because, of course, I'm unstoppable. And then, there are the situations where I simply need miracles. Enough said on that. You know what it's like. Sometimes it takes more than fighting to get what you want. Well, See you crazies around. Schedule pick-up today. Etc etc.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
21,July,2003
|
Current Song: Tsunami Bomb- The Invasion From Within Things haven't been so bad lately. Friday was interesting. It seemed like I was just having a horrible day, and I was just so upset about everything, so down, and everything just sucked. Then, later that night, as I was just giving up on everything that had been dragging me down, everything suddenly turned around to shock me. Everything, within maybe...an hour...just went...incredibly right. Saturday was Warped Tour, and it kicked ass of course. Good good times. I think that for once, I'm refusing to let things get me down. I'm refusing to let others claim the victory. And it's funny, because the harder people try, the more I realize that I don't have to care. I don't have to care about situations that drag me down. Because people that drag me down aren't worth my time. So thanks, to all who have helped me realize this. I'm much stronger than people make me out to be. I've got way more self control in these sort of situations than I ever really thought I could have. I just think drama is stupid. So why the hell would I get caught up in it? If you're going to be dramatic, then keep me out of it. I have better things to do. :) Fabulous. I get my license in a week. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) Cool it down a notch, crazies. It's gettin a bit hot.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
19,July,2003
|
Current Song: Slowreader- So This Is It :-D God loves me. I am unstoppable. lalalalalalalala Geez, I'm giddy. What's wrong with me?!?!?! Must be the fact that life is fabbity fab-fab-fab. hahaha. If you got that, then kudos. You are cool. But I'm cooler. :-P Splendid, crazies!!!
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
18,July,2003
|
Current Song: Punchline- Stop There's one thing you should know. No matter how hard you try, you can't knock me down. After all, I'm Shauna. And I'm unstoppable. I have grown to be a very strong person. I have strengthened and matured alot from who I used to be. I may have alot of moments that I'm not too proud of, but lately, I'm proud of every choice I've made and every path I've taken. I have felt that I've been making alot of mature, logical decisions. And it's about time. And if I truly feel that I'm making the best choices, then it would seem only logical that I should come out ahead. And we'll just see. Because I'm going to do everything in my power to get what I want. My mind is set. Don't fuck with me. :-) I'm unstoppable, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
15,July,2003
|
Current Song: Anti-Flag- Your daddy was a rich man, Your daddy's fucking dead Good days and such. No one can beat me. :) I'm unstoppable, you bastards! :-P And my life owns all of your lives. Time like a million. Plus five. Thank you very much. I've had a splendid day. Just chilling...having a good time home alone, while my family was out TV shopping. I love that alone time. I get to like break the house down with the sound system in the living room. And just be alone and have time to kick back and relax for several hours. Mmm...fantastic. Life is fantastic. Have a fantastic day, crazies!
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
12,July,2003
|
Current Song: Yellowcard- October Nights Today wasn't very good. It's the first time I've had to say that in a long time. I'm kinda frustrated and disappointed with alot of things, and with alot of people. First off, I feel like what I really really want is being snatched away from me. And I can't let that happen because I don't have the luck that everyone else does. And the one chance I get is being spoiled for me. I need to take control, but it's so hard because of circumstances. And then, my mom starts talking about confirmation again. Because it's close to that time of year. And I don't think she understood why bringing it up got me so worked up, and i don't think she could figure out why i broke down. It's so stressful trying to make your parents understand you. And I don't have the strength to try. To top it off, I'm facing a huge GUILT trip that isn't even my problem, yet I still feel absolutely horrid. And 50 million other things that suck. Suck suck suck suck suck. Take some control, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
11,July,2003
|
Current Song: Punchline- Power Off I'm doing it again. I'm becoming the dreamy insomniac stuck in her own little world. Her own content world, far outside of reality, obviously, because contention is something she always finds so unattainable and out of reach. But she just goes on living behind a smile and distant eyes that always seem to be looking off somewhere else. Looking admirably at the past and longingly toward the future, impatient with the present. Maybe this time around things will be different. Circumstances are very different this time. Giving me hope that I can have the storybook resolution. Close your eyes, crazies. You look tired.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
11,July,2003
|
Current Song: August Premier- 4 Hours I thought I should post something. I've got alot of different things on my mind. Ya know, sometimes I have to wonder if the reasons I get angry at people are simply a result of things I've done. I mean, I don't get mad at people often. I mean, it's rare that I get angry with someone, because I find that most things are just too petty to stress and argue over. And if I do get mad, 99.9% of the time I just keep it to myself, because I realize that it's usually a huge misunderstanding, and if I just wait it out or confront the situation nonchalantly, then everything can fix itself without making a federal case out of it. But sometimes I feel as though people intentionally do things against me. And it's not that they're doing it in spite of me, but rather out of the jealous, selfish human nature that everyone has. I'm very guilty of that sort of thing. I often find other people's success to be a damper on my happiness and my feeling of success in my life. Yes, it's self-centered, but there isn't a single person in this world that isn't guilty of it, and by coming out and admitting that I'm very guilty of downplaying and sometimes attempting to sabotage other people's success, I would consider that I'm probably more in the right than those of you scorning me for such a thing. Because everyone has been guilty of it sometime in there life, and I believe that if anyone would try to deny it, they'd just be lying to themselves. Yes, I am a jealous person on many occasions. I've just come to realize that people aren't happy in spite of you, as silly and ridiculous of an idea as that may be, for some reason I can feel that way. I wish people would realize that I'm not doing anything in spite of them, and that I'm just thinking of...well...myself. But when it doesn't concern other people, I don't understand why they have to get so offended. Well, I do understand, I suppose, but I feel a little betrayed to realize that sometimes people aren't out for my best interests. It's probably just all in my head. I just need to start relying more on myself to control my life a little more. Well, I'm off. Have a lovely day, crazies!
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
10,July,2003
|
Current Song: Slowreader- Every Part Of Nothing Well, I'm back! We got home at 10:30 last night, and I was too exhausted to post anything. I had a great time in Pennsylvania, though the whole driving thing was painfully long and boring. We made a few day-stops however, in D.C. and Gatlinburg, Tennessee. I came to several very positive revelations during my trip too. I guess getting away can be a good thing. But I was anxious to get back home. I think when I first got home last night, I was cranky, tired, burnt out, and slightly disappointed, but that changed. I came back to find that things are quite close to how I wanted them. My life didn't tumble into a mess of disorder, as I had thought. Oh, silly Shauna, and your silly pessimism. I still feel slightly rushed and a bit overwhelmed, but I can manage to get everything done that I need. And most of my stress (well, all of it actually) is just me freaking out over nothing. That's why I love Slowreader. So mellowing. Oh, and I'm proclaiming July 'Anticipation Month'. Because I have a ton of stuff to look forward to. To start: 9 days until Warped Tour! 18 days until I get my license! There's much more, too. Juuuuust wait. :) It's good to be back, crazies!!
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
23,August,2003
|
Current Song: No Use For A Name- Coming Too Close :-/ Things are confusing lately. Some good, some bad. I suppose either way I can muddle through it all. I can be a strong person and try to get over the worst of things. Because the worst hasn't happened yet. But I can feel it coming. It's painful. I kinda hope I'm just being paranoid, but I can see it. I suppose that's the price I'll have to pay. Pay for what? I don't know anymore. I don't quite understand why my life is one big punishment....I guess it's for being alive or something. Or for being faithless. I worked from 4:30-12 last night, then went to IHOP. blah blah blah. 'I have a picture of you on my wall. And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII....' HAHAHAHAHA. Oh good times. Thrift Town and a car show today. whoo hoo! Have a great day crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
19,August,2003
|
Current Song: Less Than Jake- Happyman I'm happy. I'm content. I'm satisfied. For the first time in a long time, I'm truly excited. Then why is it so frightening? I'm just so skeptical, and it's really quite sad. But I'm happy! Things are wonderful. Fantastic. Amazing. Optimistic. The list just goes on. I'm just have this fear of falling. Metaphorically, of course, but you understand. Because when you fall you get hurt. And you feel pain. And you're left with the scar- the memory- of your defeat. I don't want that. I want things to work out. I want life to be the way that I want. Got paid today. That's always good. To update my hours: Tomorrow (Wednesday) and Thursday I work 4:30-10. Quite an improvement from 4-10. Right. Friday I work 4:30-12. Please shoot me. Saturday I have off!!! And so on. Well, I need to go finish my homework. Have faith in a positive outcome, crazies.
|
739,687 |
female
| 17 |
Student
|
Cancer
|
16,August,2003
|
Current Song: Yellowcard- For Pete's Sake Life is swell. Just fabulous. I'm kinda bored right now. But that's just fine with me. Whoo, my register at work was 35 cents over last night...it was good. I work again tonight from 5-11. Then there's going to be a kick ass little party. Haha. No, not a big, exciting crazy one that you're all invited to. Too bad I have to be at work at 8 tomorrow morning. What fun. Oh my gosh, some guy from southlake came in to work yesterday and totally made my day. I told him his total and he was like 'What? that's outrageous..I live in Southlake and it's cheaper there. There's a sign outside of here that says 'thank you, keller' and I feel like saying 'up yours, Whataburger!'' Hahaha....I started cracking up, because he was a funny guy. And when I deal with plenty of rude people, it's always good to deal with people that have a sense of humor. Well, I guess there isn't much else to say really. Things have been very good lately. It's great. Well, have a wonderful day, crazies!
|
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